McSweeney's: Instructions for Your New Hiding Desk

[alarimer]

This is about where I am now. "Regular breaks of increasing frequency until you are no longer working"

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/instructions-for-your-new-hiding-desk

Only certified Paddle Creek® installers should assemble the Hiding Desk. During installation, our ergonomic specialist will ask you a series of questions about your work routines, worrisome posture, girth, and immediate family’s attitudes toward your life decisions. Answering these questions accurately will ensure that we can guess your political leanings and give you a look of silent reprove.

IMPORTANT: DO NOT TIGHTEN SCREWS. Screws must remain loose.

Working while hiding requires a period of adjustment. At first, you will notice a burning sensation in your wrists as you attempt to type from under the desk. To adapt, try taking regular breaks of increasing frequency until you are no longer working. You may also experience occasional neck pain, which will dissipate over time as you become accustomed to huddling in darkness and focusing on your fears. Finally, should your new hiding routine grow too comfortable, try experimenting with new prescriptions that don’t work, or reading about polar bears.

[Iggo]

1. My new favorite website. Dry and absurd at the same time. I like that.

[ashling]

2. I love this website and

Since I am typing this from under my desk, I know I will like this piece, too


... when I can finally get it to open.