Willy Hitler, Adolph Hitler's asshole nephew

[DetlefK]

http://www.cracked.com/article_24724_the-true-adventures-bill-hitler-hilters-idiot-nephew.html

William Patrick Hitler was born in Liverpool, Britishland to Bridget Dowling and Alois Hitler Jr., international scoundrel and half-brother of Adolf.

...

Left without his father, William and his mother struggled back in England. Any job opportunities he could find seemed to vanish into thin air the moment people found out his last name. But there was one place where being a Hitler was your ticket to success: Nazi Germany. So William said goodbye to his mother, left his conscience in his old bedroom, and went over to Uncle Adolf's lair to mooch. Not wanting him to crash on the Eagle's Nest couch, his bestest best uncle eventually got him a gig at the German national bank. That was only his day job, though. By the 1930s, Willy Hitler had found his true calling: professional name-dropper.

On the strength of his last name alone, Willy gained access to all the parties, women, and cocktail shrimp Berlin had to offer. It was wild. Gaggles of Hitler groupies lined up for the chance to get their Aryan mitts on Willy's little willy. On the family side, however, things weren't going too great. Dissatisfied with his crappy job at the bank, Willy asked Uncle Adolf to help him get a better grip on those evil coattails of his. It was around this time that the fuhrer starting referring to Willy as "my loathsome nephew" and accusing him of trying to "climb on my back."

...

He offered his nephew a simple choice: renounce his British citizenship in return for a high-paying government job or GTFO.
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William's counteroffer was simple. Either the fuhrer would give him whatever he goddamn well wanted, or he'd reveal the dark secret of the Hitler family: that ol' Adolf might have a Jewish grandfather.
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Hitler countered by suggesting that maybe, just maybe, it was time for Willy to go back home before he was accidentally tied to a post and executed by the Gestapo. Willy obliged.

...

Unfortunately, not even his charm blitzkrieg could sway the British people. Willy even published an article titled "Why I Hate My Uncle," but by 1939, hating Hitler wasn't exactly a hot take. William, now accompanied by his mother, moved to the U.S. and held a lecture tour wherein he regaled audiences with his tales of life under Hitler's horrific regime (he presumably left out all of the nepotism, free lunches, and poonscapades).

...

It wasn't until 1998 that author David Gardner discovered that he had changed his name to Stuart-Houston, because Hitlers love being the whitest white people possible.
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He also fathered four sons, none of whom had children of their own, thus bringing House Hitler to its quiet conclusion.

[Siwsan]

1. There was a good documentary on the family called "Meet the Hitlers"

They made an attempt to talk to one of Hitler's grand-nephews but the three surviving are determined to protect their anonymity.

In a different documentary I saw, they actually 'outed' the boys to one of their friends who was completely shocked. I thought that was a vile thing to do. These men didn't choose their ancestry, but they were innocent victims of it.

[steve2470]

2. great article! He later served in the Navy here in WW2

William left Germany in January 1939 and visited the United States with his mother on a lecture tour[4] at the invitation of publisher William Randolph Hearst. He and his mother were stranded in the U.S. when World War II broke out. After making a special request to President Franklin D. Roosevelt, William was eventually cleared to join the U.S. Navy in 1944, and moved to Sunnyside, Queens in New York.

According to a story circulating after his enlistment, when he went to the draft office and introduced himself, the recruiting officer supposedly replied, "Glad to see you, Hitler. My name's Hess."[4][5]

William Patrick Hitler served in the U.S. Navy during World War II as a Pharmacist's Mate (a designation later changed to Hospital Corpsman) until he was discharged in 1947. He was wounded in action during the war and awarded the Purple Heart.[4]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Patrick_Stuart-Houston

[DinahMoeHum]

3. While there apparently was no intentional pact. . .

. . .among his four sons (one of whom died in a road accident in 1989) to not ever sire children, it seems that none of them ever did marry and have children.

Whether that was by accident or design is the mystery.

From 2002:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/1382115/Getting-to-know-the-Hitlers.html

From 2006:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/04/24/nyregion/three-quiet-brothers-on-long-island-all-of-them-related-to-hitler.html