A woman carrying a baby struggles onto a public bus...
A rude passenger says: Here lady, let me hold your dog while you find a seat.
The woman says: How dare you! I ought to give you a piece of my mind!
The bus driver, who had been watching this whole thing, says: You should do it lady! That asshole has been a wise guy ever since he got on the bus!
The woman says: But my hands are full!
The driver says: Don't worry about that... Here... let me hold your monkey.
= new reply since forum marked as read
A man is sitting next to a woman holding a baby on a train. He glances at the baby, and says, "I'm sorry to say it, lady, but that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman begins to cry, sobbing loudly, which brings the conductor rushing up. "What's wrong, ma'am?" he asks.
"That man hurt my feelings!" wails the woman.
"Now, now," says the conductor. "I'm sure the gentleman meant no harm. Just you come with me to the dining car for a nice cup of tea, and you'll feel much calmer. And maybe, while we're there, we can find a banana for your monkey."
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Obviously, a joke from a more civilized era. Thanks for reminding me of it. 
