Corbett hired George W. Bush’s speechwriter - here’s the result (satire)
The first part is true. Corbett did recently hire one of George W. Bush’s main speechwriters as his speechwriter. Here’s my guess of what will soon result (these are mainly built upon actual George W. quotes):
"Major combat operations against the public schools have ended. The Republican Party and our allies have prevailed." (in front of a Mission Accomplished banner hanging from a for-profit charter school)
"If we don’t sell the PA. Lottery to the Brits, Osama bin Laden wins.”
“You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect public school teachers to the war on terror."
"I'm the decider-- see, I don’t need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being Governor."
“When it comes to my re-election, they misunderestimate me.”
"I don't think anybody anticipated that so many teachers would be eliminated.”
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love of forced ultrasounds all across this country."
"The British government has learned that public employee unions recently sought significant quantities of campaign funds from Africa."
“The Voter ID challengers, the fracking protestors and the teachers unions constitute an axis of evil, arming to threaten the peace of Pennsylvania.”
"If we legalize gay marriage, it will lead to human animal hybrids."
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And here are some actual George W. Bush quotes that I can imagine Corbett saying:
"This is an impressive crowd -- the haves and the have mores. Some people call you the elite -- I call you my base." – I can imagine Corbett saying at a fracking convention.
"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"
"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
"I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job."
"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."
"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." --in parting words to world leaders at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as those present looked on in shock, Japan, 2008
"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
“There's an old saying that says, fool me once, shame on --shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
"You work three jobs? ... Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." –said to a divorced mother of three
"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."
"Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." - to Corbett's Education Secretary
Here’s the link to the actual George W. Bush quotes:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/bushquotes/a/dumbbushquotes.htm