Amazon Pulls Novelty Jesus Toaster, Annoys Company

[Initech]

he Vermont Novelty Toaster Corporation is annoyed with e-commerce giant Amazon (AMZN). Sufficiently irked, in fact, that it is yanking its popular toasters — including the best-selling Jesus toaster — from the online retailer.

Vermont Novelty says that its Jesus toaster — which toasts an image of Jesus into bread slices — was ranked as the 32nd top-selling toaster on Amazon this holiday season. But now, the Jesus toaster, along with the company's other novelty toasters that produce toasty images of President Obama, the Virgin Mary, Sarah Palin and assorted other icons, won't be sold on Amazon any longer.

The company alleges that Amazon has refused to cough up half of the revenue from two weeks of sales because those sales have exceeded the "limited velocity amount."

By exceeding that amount, Vermont Novelty incurs an account review. The company's CEO notes that the delay — which has happened at the end of two consecutive years — damages its cash flow. The company also complains that Amazon pockets nearly $8 out of each toaster sale.

http://money.msn.com/top-stocks/post--company-pulls-popular-jesus-toaster-from-amazon?ocid=ansmony11

I think I saw Jesus Toaster Pull at Coachella last year!

[BainsBane]

1. Jesus toast just isn't the same without a Hitler cup of tea

[Warren DeMontague]

10. No, the Teapot is too cute to be, actually, Hitler.

It's more like Chaplin, spoofing Hitler.

[Warren DeMontague]

2. Not smart.

The people demand novelty toast. Some savvy businessperson is going to give it to them.

[TreasonousBastard]

3. And Vermont Novelty Toaster Co will do it...

if they get the right PR

http://www.burntimpressions.com/

Only 25-30 bucks for these things. I like the paw print.

(But, they don't sell the vagina toaster that came up in the search)

Turns out the velocity limit is what Amazon puts on you if you sell too much and they think you might have a problem fulfilling the orders. eBay and others do the same thing. But, these guys had an account review last year and passed, so why hold on to the money this year? Besides, 8 bucks out of 25 is a hefty commission,

[Ineeda]

4. Without comment on the general issue at hand...

$8 bucks is actually lower than standard, which averages a 60-40 split (60% for you, 40% for them). 40% would be a $10 commission.

[Warren DeMontague]

7. Wait... vagina toaster?

Is it too late to get Granny a present?

[TreasonousBastard]

8. Not at all, and it turns out that they do make the vagina toaster...

although you have to dig around for it on the site. Penis toaster, too. In fact, you can get granny a three vagina toaster in case she has friends over.

It's 60 bucks, though. And any of the boorish but hilarious comments that come to mind I'll have the League of Loony Left Decency on my ass.

These guys have it pegged:

http://verastic.com/social/a-toaster-that-creates-penises-vaginas-but-of-course.html

[Warren DeMontague]

9. It'd be cool, too, if the toaster itself were shaped like a...

...

[BainsBane]

11. I suggest a redesign of the vagina toster

As a diagram with directions to the clitoris. For educational purposes, of course.

[Warren DeMontague]

12. Praise Be!

[Unca Jim]

5. Thanks for the info!

I got my Smiley Face toaster I never knew I wanted until now!

[mackerel]

6. Some of the comments were funny though

Jesus winemaker, Jesus fish tank, etc.