New Yorker - Americans' Concern Over Climate Grows, Now That It's Affecting Their Lawns

[hatrack]

SACRAMENTO (The Borowitz Report) – A new poll shows that Americans who were unconcerned about climate change as it wreaked havoc around the world are beginning to worry, now that global warming is affecting the appearance of their lawns.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, rising sea levels, the destruction of habitats, and catastrophic weather conditions, such as hurricanes and tsunamis, have not served as the wake-up call to Americans that their lawns’ unsightly barrenness has. In interviews across the state of California, residents expressed anger and outrage that climate change had been allowed to worsen to the point that it has now severely limited their choice of ground cover, shrubs, and other decorative plantings.

“We are being forced to create a front lawn out of stones and, yes, cacti,” said Harland Dorrinson, a resident of suburban Sacramento. “I’m not sure that this is a world I would want to leave to my children.”

EDIT

Carol Foyler, a San Mateo resident who has watched her lawn turn from a gorgeous green to a hideous brown during California’s drought, said she blamed scientists “for failing to warn us of the true cost of climate change.” “They always said that polar bears would starve to death,” she said. “But they never told us our lawns would look like crap.”

EDIT/END

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/poll-americans-starting-to-worry-about-climate-change-now-that-it-affects-their-lawns

[DetlefK]

1. The sad part? It's likely true.

People won't react to climate-change until a beloved cultural object or action becomes unattainable.

[mackdaddy]

3. Oh Borowitz Report. But More factual than anything on Faux.

I was going to get on the one not quite total fact that global warming does not cause tsunamis (although they could be worse due to GW), when I saw it was by Andy Borowitz.

I have already seen Facebook comments which do go along with these sentiments so I think you have it right.

[progressoid]

2. “I’m not sure that this is a world I would want to leave to my children.”

You're not sure? Not sure?

Gee, maybe think about it for a few more decades just to be sure.

[MisterP]

4. ironically the burbs ARE where the modern environmental movement started taking off

between the developers' relentless logic (which accelerated after the 80s), the fact that they were sold in rural terms and people moved there to let their kids play in creeks and woods (that were getting eaten up), and Love Canal, suburbia made its residents highly aware of geography in several ironic ways

http://www.amazon.com/Crabgrass-Crucible-Suburban-Environmentalism-Twentieth-Century-ebook/dp/B0085IZK5Y/

[Boomer]

5. Satire or prediction!

Borowitz manages to straddle that fine line between humor and horror. We're oh so uncomfortably close to this being true.

[Nihil]

6. Carol Foyler: Ignorance in a nutshell

> Carol Foyler, a San Mateo resident who has watched her lawn turn from a gorgeous green to a hideous brown during
> California’s drought, said she blamed scientists “for failing to warn us of the true cost of climate change.”
> “They always said that polar bears would starve to death,” she said. “But they never told us our lawns would look like crap.”

Short-sighted, stupid & vain PoS.