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Mon Feb 21, 2022, 12:19 PM

Why kids are turning to nongendered pronouns

Words mean everything to 13-year-old Amelia Blackney.

At a younger age, Amelia was most definitely a "she." The Santa Rosa, California, resident was born a girl, raised as a girl and socialized with friends as a girl.

Somewhere along the way, Amelia's feelings about gender identity started to change. Instead of identifying as a girl, Amelia began to feel different. About six months after turning 12, Amelia was ready to lean into a new life. The young person celebrated with new pronouns: they/them.

"I didn't feel like a girl, but I never really felt like a boy, so I had to find something that was in the middle of both," Amelia said. "I settled on pronouns that didn't represent a gender but instead put me between two genders. That way it's like I'm not a part of any gender or I can be both genders at the same time. My pronouns now put me at a place where I can decide between different genders. That feels right."

Amelia, who now identifies as nonbinary, isn't the only young person changing pronouns these days; across the country tweens and teens are embracing nongendered iterations of these familiar words.


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Reply Why kids are turning to nongendered pronouns (Original post)
Jilly_in_VA Feb 2022 OP
Biophilic Feb 2022 #1
thucythucy Feb 2022 #2
TygrBright Feb 2022 #3
I_UndergroundPanther Feb 2022 #4

Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Mon Feb 21, 2022, 12:39 PM

1. Thanks, clearest explanation I've read/heard for the use of gender free pronouns.

What a perfect thing for young people to do. There is soooo much emphasis on being either a man or a woman and the correct way to do that that it seems the perfect response. Sorry folks, I'm not playing your game. Good for them.

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Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Mon Feb 21, 2022, 12:50 PM

2. I love how sophisticated young people are

about this and a whole range of topics.

Remembering myself at age thirteen I have to admit I was absolutely clueless.

Kudos to Amelia and all who sail with her!

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Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Mon Feb 21, 2022, 01:19 PM

3. I have been wondering for a while now if the pronouns movement isn't in part...

...a rejection not so much of physiological gender as of the cultural definition, roles, expectations, and baggage that goes with gender.

At least for some people. For others, yes, the physiological dysphoria is very real and I'm glad language is evolving.

But our profoundly sick, patriarchal culture has defined "male" and "female" in so many dysfunctional, toxic ways that I can readily understand a smart young person deciding to opt out of THAT shit.

It's all good, as far as I'm concerned.

My identity was shaped in the 50s and 60s and I'm more comfortable with "she/her" than not, but I have never, ever been comfortable with the assumption that because of that identity I would automatically find males sexually attractive but not females.

I never understood what the f***was up with that, not during my first partnership (would have been a marriage had that been possible back then) with another woman, nor at any time since.

The concept of gender as anything other than physiology is just too complicated and weird and oppressive anymore.


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Response to Jilly_in_VA (Original post)

Fri Feb 25, 2022, 01:42 AM

4. Im 55 years

Old now and when I was around 4 I knew I was not a girl but I wasent a boy either.

I had no words for it in the 70s. All I knew is I was not one or the other.

I struggled with it for a long time with no words.

I am a non binary transmale asexual demi otherkin I had a feline soul and no way to explain all of it to anybody let alone myself.

Back than if I told anyone even a therapist they didnt understand so I tried to explain it better and end up digging myself into a hole I knew made no sense to the listener.

They'd either blow me off or call it a symptom of my mental illness or worse they tried to force me be female.

So I shut up about it and gave therapists some canned normal answers just to keep them from asking.

As soon as the web appeared I did searches for hours with navigator search typing in various words I had used to discribe myself and soon I found others with the same situations and identities.

Often I cried my eyes out just knowing I was not alone like this.

I know what I am. I have always known.

I am so thankful to the younger generations for giving me the words to say it..

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