I take great offense at the term "childless unmarried cat ladies".

[no_hypocrisy]

My BFF from college was literally a childless unmarried cat lady. A once brilliant mind who was a stockbroker, successful at almost everything she did. A wit.

She lived alone and loved it. She collected cool things to put around her house. An impressive library. Never missed an issue of The New Yorker.

And unfortunately, about two years ago, her sisters and I noticed little changes in her personality. She wasn't herself but we couldn't put our fingers on what was wrong. She was unemployed and wasn't in a hurry to get a new job. She was distracted. She repeated anecdotes several times, often about her four cats.

And she drank, which didn't help things. Her bills went unpaid including municipal property taxes. Her entire apartment was awash with papers. (Think Collyer Brothers.) She accused her sisters of breaking into her house and stealing things either she couldn't find or hid and forget where she put them.

The last straw came when she made an illegal left turn at a red light across four lanes of highway traffic. The police officer asked her for a reason for her choice. She answered that she had hungry cats waiting for her at home. And she was serious.

Her sisters coalesced and brought her to live with one of them. The cats went to another sister. My friend now has a 24/7 aide living with her as she tends to wander off if not watched. I can't talk to her as her memory is shot. She watches television but doesn't watch it. Her sisters are looking into an assisted living facility for her.

My friend is fortunate to have compassionate sisters. But every time I hear about childless unmarried cat ladies, I am tinged with anger. My friend didn't ask for this phase of her life. I'm certain that in the beginning, she did have moments where she realized what was happening and it scared the shit out of her.

Her grandmother had Alzheimer's and maybe this is hereditary. I have been restrained in asking her sisters if there has been a diagnosis yet.

And while I "miss" her, I know she faces greater challenges in the future.

[Ocelot II]

1. That's a very sad story, and I hope this woman keeps getting the care she needs.

But many of us are happily childless and unmarried by choice and have cats as pets by choice, and do not have mental health issues. "Childless cat lady" was intended as an insult because it implies that women who do not have children are lonely, unable to get husbands, and have cats only as child substitutes, which is false. Your friend doesn't even fit this false stereotype; her mental health problems aren't likely to be related in any respect to her child-free, cat-ful lifestyle choice.