I need to vent this.

[easttexaslefty]

Look. I have a mental illness. My mental illness are major depression, PTSD and an anxiety disorder.
The trigger of mental illness was the suicide of my 33 year old son by hanging. I also found his dead body.
Since his death I have attempted suicide 3 times. Once by hanging. It is incredibly difficult and physically painful to die that way. Leaning into that rope hurts and you know you could flap there for at least 5 minutes in terrifying pain. The other 2 times were by overdose. I took many many pills. A ton of pills. Did not kill me. If I had an access to a gun at that time, I would most assuredly be very very dead.
I also belong to a support group of grieving parents whose children died by suicide. Many of them literally children. If they could do anything over again, it would be to not have guns in their house. They certainly do not want their surviving children to have access to guns if they suffer with depression.
This is not about discrimination. This is about empathy and common sense.

[2theleft]

1. I'm so sorry easttexaslefty.

I cannot imagine anything more horrible than what you have gone through. I hope that you are working through you depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I have anxiety and depression - I cannot imagine how hard throwing PTSD on top of that is.

And, I agree with your point on gun availability. People can talk all they want about gun safety, but too many accidents and suicides happen in homes with "responsible" gun owners.

Sending my best to you and good vibes that you continue to heal from your loss. I know you will never "get over it", but I can hope that your pain will lessen. Take good care of yourself. *hugs*

[easttexaslefty]

3. Thanks honey.

I am slowly learning to live without my boy.
This isn't about me, anymore. I don't want anybody else to have to either because of some need for a gun.

[elleng]

2. what 2theleft said,

Last edited Sun Jan 20, 2013, 07:58 PM - Edit history (1)

[easttexaslefty]

10. Thank you.

[LiberalEsto]

4. I'm so sorry for your terrible loss

Sending you hugs

[easttexaslefty]

11. Many many hugs back

[Tobin S.]

5. I understand where you are coming from

The mentally ill people having guns debate, the way I understand it, is more about the principle of the matter. You'd be taking away someone's right (a God-given one according to conservatives) even if they have done nothing wrong.

I can see both sides of the issue, but like I was telling someone the other day, this isn't one of my big deals. That might sound kind of strange. It's just that I know guns will never be banned in America and there is almost one gun in this country for every person who lives here. Even if my right to own a gun was taken away, I'm pretty sure I could still get one. We'll never be rid of them and we'll never be able to make them illegal, aside from making certain modifications illegal like huge ammo clips.

The best I can do on this issue starts here in my home. I will not have guns in my home.

[easttexaslefty]

15. I understand it is the principle

of the thing. I really do. After all, I am mentally ill. I don't want my rights infringed on either.
The the truth is... Guns do not belong in the hands of severely depressed individuals. Not because they are dangerous to anyone else. Because they are a danger to themselves.
A scary number of people ( 12 and up) kill themselves with a gun.
If anyone is interested check out afsp.org.
Or find a community "out of the darkness" walk for suicide prevention in your community.
If you met some and heard some of our stories, maybe you would be more invested in this subject.

[libodem]

6. So sorry for your loss

I can hardly stand to imagine what you have been through. I know four women who lost teenagers through accidental death. I take that back, one girl, hung herself in the back yard. She had gone, Goth. The others died in car wrecks.

[easttexaslefty]

16. I am not trying to be dramatic here

but it is hell on earth.
I never knew anything could be as painful as this. You do go on, you do "survive" but it's mostly because you have no choice.
These are life and death issues here. Not some kind of subjective situation to make a point. Thanks.

[polly7]

7. I'm so sorry.

I lost my Dad to suicide by gun two years ago now and was the one to hold his body afterwards. Losing a child this way is just unimaginable .... I'm so glad you are still here

[easttexaslefty]

17. Thanks.

I'm resigned I guess to being here.
I still wouldn't trust myself with a gun though.
If you get in that deep pit, you have a gun and a bullet, it can be over. There is no turning back from that.
I am so sorry about your dad, Polly.
((((hugs))))

[Still Blue in PDX]

8. I am so sorry for what you have gone through.

I'm glad you are still here.

I've also attempted suicide. I have clinical depression and anxiety disorder, but there are many happy moments that I have since had, so most of the time I am glad I survived.

Thank you for your words of sanity. Strange that so many of us with diagnosed mental illness/es get it. You said it well.

May your pain lessen.

[easttexaslefty]

18. (((hugs)))

It's hard to imagine I suppose unless you've been there. I'm sorry you have, honey.

[Denninmi]

12. Actually, I would like to respond, since I am the one causing so much trouble in GD.

And I hope I'm doing it the "right way" and helping the cause, although I am unsure both of myself and whether or not the battle can even be won.

To the OP, I am so, so sorry for what you are going through, it sounds horrific.

I have posted numerous times that 2nd amendment rights of mentally ill people should be the same as for "normal" people unless they have been adjudicated in a court of law to be legally incompetent, or have been involuntarily committed, again under court order. That is the standard, and the law, in my state and many others, since it mirrors the federal standards.

I think it's really important to distinguish between people who are just mentally ill, and people who have been through the legal system and adjudicated as such, because for those of us who have never been involved with the courts in any way have the full spectrum of civil rights, unless or until they take them away from us.

I feel that it is very dangerous to take away any right without due process and equal protection, and to my eyes, it doesn't matter what the specific right in question is, it could be speech or privacy or anything, really. I find it ironic that I have taken the position of defending access to weapons by those not prohibited by court order. It's not because I believe any or all if us should or shouldn't, I think that really needs to be made on an individual basis. But, it makes my blood boil when "normals" tell me I have no right, even though I have no court orders against my name.

It's probably a stupid thing to do, I don't know. I,hope I haven't hurt our side.

If you think I should stop, or change my approach, I will defer to your opinions, because I want to be an advocate for positive change.

Thank you for your consideration.

[easttexaslefty]

20. Thank you for your thoughtful response

Only you can choose what is the best course of action for you.
I certainly believe in being an advocate for mental illness.
My son died by suicide, I've attempted and struggle with mental illness and my surviving son is an LPC.
The issue is complex. I do understand. There is stigma.
But guns and mental illness, adjudicated or not, can be a horrendous combination.

[Tobin S.]

21. Say what you want Dennis.

You are only restricted by the rules of the forum, and if somebody tells you to shut up, speak even louder. If you are wrong about anything, I think you are smart enough to recognize it and change your views accordingly.

[easttexaslefty]

13. This is what I know.

I don't want to have to greet anymore moms and dads that have had to scrape their babies brains off their popcorn ceiling.
That was Friday's mom. He was 15.

[easttexaslefty]

19. I agree.

You can do both. In fact I do.
I would like reason on this issue though. Some bad bad shit can happen when someone (child or adult) with severe depression gets their hands on a gun.
Get to know some survivors. We are not an objective to score some political points.

[easttexaslefty]

23. I'm sorry you've buried a child.

and sorry you know suicide and suicidal behaviour. Those are sucky things to know.
Nobody should have to bury a child for any reason.

[Denninmi]

24. Hey, I just read your other thread.

I am so sorry some posters got so
Nasty. No matter what side of an issue, there isn't an excuse for treating you like that. Keep your head up. DU needs to be more civil.

[easttexaslefty]

25. Thanks very much denninmi.

I'm can be pretty uncivil sometimes, too, so I can't say to much about them.
It's a family trait and curse to be hot heated. I apologize if I have offended you in any way. <3

[Denninmi]

26. Why would you possibly think you offended me.

As far as your responses, all I saw was you defending yourself.

It's all good.

[easttexaslefty]

27. Well, because generally

I can be a pretty offensive person, so I'm told. I guess it's part of my charm.

[Denninmi]

28. Eh, you're just fine.

Don't let the bastards get you down.

[easttexaslefty]

29. You either.

<3

[Fire Walk With Me]

30. ...

[fizzgig]

31. .

[auntAgonist]

32. This was so hard to read. My heart breaks for you and prays you'll

be around for a VERY long time.

You are the life blood for so many people.



kesha.

[mopinko]

33. i have a couple of extremely troubled children.

they are not me. there is a reason out there, but i do not think it is that i am a bad mom.
hang on. i know your son would be disappointed and saddened to have put such a burden on you.