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[BrendaBrick]

This message was self-deleted by its author (BrendaBrick) on Mon Feb 13, 2012, 05:52 PM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[Neoma]

3. Well, first advice is to not completely identify yourself with what you do.

Your career or hobbies do not sum up who you are. You are a complex, multi-layered person that no one will probably know fully, except for yourself.

It's the exact same thing as identifying yourself as a victim, and you deserve a more honest interpretation of yourself. Truth is, you're here on earth to discover who you are and then you make up your own purpose for how to live your life. It's not a unique position to be in. Just a little scarier when you're transforming yourself SO very deeply because being a victim is an emotional root, instead of occupational.

I hope that's good advice.

[Neoma]

6. Oh, I understand.

You've been conditioned. I have a friend whose foster parent put bells on her shoes so that she'd know where she was...years of crap like that is very harmful. People are treated as if they're dogs to be trained sometimes.

We pick up our habits from the people who has raised us. We mimic them, because when you're in that stage of development, you don't know how to act or do. You don't know the correct words, you don't know the correct actions. And if people fuck that up, you'll likely be a bit fucked up yourself. It's part of being human, and it's where a lot of our struggles have come from.

[Neoma]

9. I feel like I've heard it all.

My preschool teacher used to tie one student to the chair with duct tape. Though, he didn't go around naked... Sounds horrible though. Trees are uncomfortable. (I've climbed a lot of trees.) And my brother once tied me up once. Good memories... Anyways, I'm not the best person to go to for advice on how to act, given that I love the idea of breaking hidden social rules sometimes. (I'm too nice though.) But I'll give it a shot:

It's better to ask questions and listen than to reveal things about yourself right away. I've scared off many people that way.

It's better to be in a group setting if you're trying to meet people. Also, it's okay to look at someone in the eye across the room, as long as you're smiling.

Angry people aren't always angry to be mean, it's to protect themselves from people before they're attacked themselves.

Being nice opens yourself up for attack, but at least you're not like the person attacking you. Try to be nice and calm through out a horrible conversation so that they realize how much of a jerk they're being.

Old fashioned, but manners do matter, even though they barely exist anymore. If you have problems with that, there's funny Victorian books on it. Just pick out the ones you think are nice, and dump the rest. If anything, you'll learn what other people think what being polite is.

Everyone has some kind of mental issue, don't fool yourself. I've met the most bubbly happy woman once, and it turned out she was molested and abused during her life, and she's on anti-depressants. People who haven't had help, probably either need it, or will in the future when they're 80 or so years old. (That's my opinion on why the world is so fucked.)

Well, the last one isn't advice, but it helps in prospective terms. I dunno, this is just random things I think of, it's hard giving this type of advice.