how do you preserve an aggregate of family memorabilia...

[grasswire]

.....to make it available to everyone and for future generations?

There are 13 cousins in my generation. Two subsequent generations have sprouted. Some family heirlooms are scattered here and there among the family. And an archive of historical memorabilia exists: 19th century collections of correspondence, photos, documents, war records and service medals through WW2, diaries, and so on. This archive is in the hands (unfortunately) of a near hoarder. She has scooped up everything for decades, and the rest of us never see these things (which are as much everyone's as hers). And they have NEVER been available for the boomer-millenial age members to see.

How do families deal with the items that should be commonly available?

I have begun a conversation asking family members to think about what should be done. I suspect the hoarder is verydisturbed about now.

[NYC_SKP]

1. Certainly, family photos are increasingly easier to preserve and to share.

For larger, non-2D, artifacts, one could publish/share photographs of these and any research results associated with them, ie: "Here are some links about grandma's brooch, grandpa's pocket watch".

For those with the funds or equipment, 3-D scans could accompany the photos!

[JimDandy]

2. Hoarders don't want to give up the items,

but genealogical hoarders hoard family items because they want to preserve them. They often verbalize that they are the person in the family who will best be able to care for the items. It's hard for them to even temporarily allow others to take items elsewhere to be photocopied or photographed. In addition they usually have dreams of organizing, documenting and publishing the material in some manner, but can become overwhelmed quickly by the sheer volume of their collection and give up on those activities... but they keep collecting more as each person in the family dies.

It sounds like your hoarder is elderly, so they may not be as tech saavy as you. One proven way to start getting the info to other family members has been to offer to photograph/scan/copy the hoarder's material and enter it into a database at the hoarder's home. If they have any remnants of their organizing/publishing dreams left, suggest that your doing that would help them in their efforts.

[grasswire]

3. good insight

In this case the hoarding has happened because to the hoarder, scoring and keeping the items = some sort of power. The person is the oldest in the generation. Her children, boomers, have little interest in the items and do not often come to family gatherings. So I'm feeling pressure to get something done about this in the next several years. Lord only knows what would happen to the stuff.

The hoarder would NEVER allow anything out of her possession even for copying. She is very acquisitive and has the possessions of five other people hoarded in her home as well.

What I am doing at this point is trying to rouse concern in the other family members, gently. It will only be through group concern that anything will happen.

I'm trying to develop some sort of guidelines as to the future of the "archive" items. Where should they be? Should the namesake of the war heroes receive the medals? Or should everything be in one complete archive? It would require a small room. And in whose home?

Details, details.

[kickysnana]

4. Bring a computer, scanner printer in.

"You have done such a wonderful job of taking care of all this but it is always risky to have everything in one place. A fire, flood or other disaster could make it lost completely. How about we make a digital copy of it just in case and do you have your wishes known when far in the future you can not take care of it anymore? "

I remember reading about someone like this and in her later years she had too many cats. The authorities declared her property a health hazard and everything in there was destroyed. No amount of pleas made a difference to them. Disaster for sure.

[kdmorris]

5. Is there anyone that this hoarder is particularly close to?

Someone that she would be inclined to listen to if they ask to archive some of it?

Sometimes you will have more luck if they don't feel like they are "losing" something, so much as helping others (though the description of the power thing does make it likely that there is something mental going on).

[grasswire]

6. apt description

"something mental going on"

I hadn't realized it fully until the last year or so. The hoarder is "grooming" another family member who is 91 years old. The hoarder has gotten power of attorney over the auntie and is "gaslighting" her to some degree, continually telling other family members how confused and forgetful and irritable auntie is (which I don't see in auntie), and making choices for auntie that limit her independence instead of encouraging it. Recently I saw that some family heirloom items have been removed from auntie's apartment (and I know that it is against state law for a Power of Attorney to remove anything from the person's possession). The estate itself is not insignificant, but it is the loss of family heirlooms that worry me.

It's a really tough and sensitive situation. Most of the family has no idea what's going on. So that's why I am gently trying to work to get some protection for the family heirlooms.