Foster dog saga: Gotta vent

[Myrina]

Hi all ~
Many of you know or are following my foster dog - Hammy Hamilton's - adventures. Earlier this week he had xrays to assess the condition of his knees. As expected, he has Grade 4 Luxations in both back legs. He also has severe hip dysplasia in his left, and moderate in his right. Hammy's only 3 years old but seems to have hit the bad-genetics-jackpot.

The vet called this morning to let me know she had the films examined by a Veterinary Orthopedist and we are further screwn than we thought. They saw arthritis on both of his 'ankles' and in his digits, and ACL tears in both legs. She classified it as joint disease. She said since they basically don't even know where to start with him, and the likelihood that correcting any one issue would exacerbate the others, they are declining to operate & instead suggest long-term pain management.

Now comes my rant.

The shelter suspected this. They were going to put him to sleep in May when no owner claimed him, but one of the volunteers - who can't ever seem to say 'no' - took him. She is perpetually unemployed and a few weeks after she took him, got evicted and needed to find someone to take him (and her 5!! other fosters, none of whom she can afford to feed) asap. I was dumb enough to say yes. So now I have this guy that I am attached to, my other dogs are attached to, and while he's not terminal, if he's this bad at 3, chances are he's not going to make it past 5 or maybe 6 until the pain gets to be too much for him.

Part of me feels like I got snookered into taking "someone else's problem" because when she first approached me about him, she said his surgery was "all set" and all he needed was "a quiet place to recuperate." Come to find out the shelter hadn't even spent the money to get him fully assessed, so she was bs'ing me from the start. Subject for another rant entirely - crazy hoarder-rescue people who overload themselves with pets they can't care for & then dump them onto someone(s) else . "But they're alive ..." ... yes but what kind of LIFE do they have??

Another part of me is absolutely dreading the knowledge that I have to be the one to turn the lights out on another soul. I just helped my boy Max to the Bridge in February, and my Bubba Ray 2 years ago. I still cry for them. My senior statesman Hank, who turns 14 in a couple weeks, will need to cross sometime during the next year if he doesn't go naturally (he's a Grade 5 heart murmur & has cancer).

I can't keep doing this!! I am NOT getting used to it, it DOESN'T get easier, and my heart honestly CAN'T break any more than it already has. Goddammit, why does this keep happening???

/end rant

[Auntie Bush]

1. I understand and am soooo sorry! Bless you!

[Curmudgeoness]

2. This really sucks.

I feel bad for you, I know how hard it is to get attached and get bad news.

I remember when I was rehabbing wild animals, and we had a newsletter. The founder of the organization wrote an incredible article about the choices we make when we have to decide whether an animal should be euthanized or not, and how too many times, we are keeping the animal alive and it is suffering. And we are keeping it alive for ourselves, not for the animal. I hate to think that you have to put down a dog that you are attached to, but it may be the fairest thing for the dog. Is it possible that another person in the organization that you foster for would be willing to have the dog euthanized? Hard choices, but from what you have reported so far, and from a non-sentimental seat, it seems the most humane thing to do....and the longer you wait, the longer he suffers. And will you be ready after another year? Or two? Or whenever the pain is so great that the dog can no longer hide it?

I am sorry you got stuck like this. Never trust that person again. Never.

[Walk away]

3. If it helps, try to focus on the many pain free and adoptable dog you can...

foster. This poor little dog will be either in pain or doped up for the rest of his life. I wouldn't want any of my dogs to go through years of that. Apparently, you have been chosen to be the one truly humane person in his life. Having the courage and being selfless enough to put dog to sleep in a situation like this takes a person who cares more about others than their own ego.

I think it keeps happening because you have the mental fortitude to do the kind and right thing for the animals you love.

[IrishAyes]

4. People who 'collect' animals don't really love them

They're just hoarding and trying to look saintly at the same time. You wouldn't believe how some of them shriek when a dog charity won't agree to feed their 18-20 animals.

I'm so sorry you got stuck with the heartache of doing what's right. Life's not fair at all. But you gotta do what you gotta do. The animal soul will love you all the more for releasing it from hell on earth.

I hope that very soon you'll find a healthier dog to raise and give the good life they deserve. But that won't happen if you shrink back with a broken heart. I still sit down and bawl over my 2 chows who died 2 years ago at age 16. But there were other fur babies in need of a home, and doing that has helped me get through the grieving process. And I only got 2 because the first one was clearly happy enough but she'd whine every time she saw another dog. Now my 2 play-fight like a house on fire, but that's their way and nobody ever gets hurt. In fact, they take turns playing alpha. Brigid will pretend to maul Molly Maguire for a few minutes, then she'll roll over on her back to give Molly a shot at her throat. They understand taking turns.

Basically I tend to distrust the mental stability of anyone with a large pack of dogs unless they're a breeder or a hunter.