First rule of Patriots Fight Club is...

[Yavin4]

Don't talk about the Patriots Fight Club.

[tishaLA]

1. did you see Deadspin's hilarous list of reasons for his black eye?

One of the hobos he regularly murders for sport actually fought back.

He was playing catch with Tom Brady with an over-inflated ball.

Tom Brady snapped at him when he tried to pull Brady’s face out of a bag of dog treats he left lying around.

That’s actually his natural skin color, due to the fact that his dark soul is rotting his body from the inside out, and he just forgot to apply makeup to that spot today.

Some weird sex thing.

Got scratched by a cat.

Pressed his eye onto the eyepiece of the telescope he uses to spy on his neighbors a little too hard.

Didn’t move the stone slab all the way off his sarcophagus when he woke up this morning.

He rubbed his left eye too hard during his nightly 43-minute private sob session.

He fell down.

The Incantation of the Dead, as spell that has kept his lifeless, eternal corpse animated for a millennia, is starting to wear off.

http://deadspin.com/some-theories-about-bill-belichicks-mysterious-black-ey-1752473361

[bluedigger]

2. Those are pretty good.

[hughee99]

4. They are pretty funny.

Who knows, maybe he whacked himself in the eye with one of SB rings when did a facepalm after DC Matt Patricia suggested working for the Browns wouldn't be THAT bad.

[bluedigger]

5. Something stupid and embarrassing, no doubt.

I've accidentally punched myself once or twice.

[mythology]

3. Maybe he got between Chandler Jones and his drugs

Because apparently Jon Jones isn't the only drug abuser in the family.

[madinmaryland]

6. Too fucking funny!! He tripped over the cord to his camcorder while deflating footballs!!