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rug

(82,333 posts)
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 06:30 PM Aug 2014

Comment: Burying your dead without religion

The proportion of people who don't identify with a specific faith is growing. What does this mean for the future of funeral rites?
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Vanitas Philippe de Champaigne, circa 1671

26 Aug 2014 - 9:38 AM
By Jemma Green

If you're interested, there's a tattoo parlor on the island of Oahu in Hawaii where an artist named Dodge may be able to give you a tattoo that incorporates a dead body—literally. “You simply take the cremains, or the ashes, and you mix them in with the ink, and then you ink that onto the person," explained Candi Cann, a professor at Baylor University and the author of Virtual Afterlives: Grieving the Dead in the Twenty-First Century, which came out in June.

"It’s really not that different from wearing a piece of jewelry that your grandma gave you: You’re not wearing the piece of jewelry—you’re wearing your grandma.”

For most of human history, religious ceremony has helped people deal with death, providing explanations about souls and the afterlife along with rituals to help the living deal with their grief. Not all religions do death the same way. "There are certain denominations within Christianity and certain religions in general that do a better job of remembering the dead," said Cann. "Like the Catholics: There’s a very set calendar for remembering, and it’s still tied down to the religious calendar."

Tattooing yourself with a dead person's remains is one new way of memorialising death in the absence of faith, she said. "As society becomes more secular, and people are more and more turning to that 'spiritual but not religious category,' they’re forming their own do-it-yourself ways of remembering the dead."

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Comment: Burying your dead without religion (Original Post) rug Aug 2014 OP
I can't imagine wanting a funeral gwheezie Aug 2014 #1
My condolences. I can't imagine how fresh the pain is. rug Aug 2014 #3
If you can, identify a place that he liked to be. Hoppy Aug 2014 #6
We had a few weeks to talk about it gwheezie Aug 2014 #7
It wasn't important to him gwheezie Aug 2014 #8
So the ashes were important to him? cbayer Aug 2014 #10
I am so sorry for your loss. cbayer Aug 2014 #9
I already told my family I want to be made into a diamond. hollysmom Aug 2014 #2
At least you're not giving them the silent treatment. rug Aug 2014 #4
I really don't contact them unless I need to do it. hollysmom Aug 2014 #5

gwheezie

(3,580 posts)
1. I can't imagine wanting a funeral
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 07:09 PM
Aug 2014

Today I planned what to do with my husbands body. He died yesterday. He was catholic but he was adamant that he wanted to be cremated with no service etc. we had time to discuss what to do with his ashes. He had no suggestion, I don't particularly want them. All he wished is that I dispose of his body legally. He believed in god but really had no concern about his dead body going through a ritual.

 

Hoppy

(3,595 posts)
6. If you can, identify a place that he liked to be.
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 08:06 PM
Aug 2014

Spread his ashes there.

Wish I'm well and walk away.

gwheezie

(3,580 posts)
7. We had a few weeks to talk about it
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 08:23 PM
Aug 2014

I have a shelf in a closet that has boxes of ashes from people and animals. Before he died he suggested when I clean out his closet to take his and every bodies ashes and bring them into our woods and put them there. We talked about me starting over and not toting around boxes of ashes that have no names on them to where ever I wind up.

gwheezie

(3,580 posts)
8. It wasn't important to him
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 08:26 PM
Aug 2014

Putting him in the woods would be easier for me. He had suggested I take everyone to the landfill also. It's a place where he picked up several stray dogs and cats. Otherwise he had no last requests.

cbayer

(146,218 posts)
10. So the ashes were important to him?
Wed Aug 27, 2014, 02:45 AM
Aug 2014

Sounds like he left you with a few suggestions, but it can't be easy.

Do you have family around you right now to talk this out with?

cbayer

(146,218 posts)
9. I am so sorry for your loss.
Wed Aug 27, 2014, 02:43 AM
Aug 2014

Maybe just sit on the decision about the ashes for awhile. Perhaps a day will come when it becomes clear to you what you should do.

Hope you are doing ok.

hollysmom

(5,946 posts)
2. I already told my family I want to be made into a diamond.
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 07:09 PM
Aug 2014

Then let them fight over me, right now, they could not care less. Well, I shouldn't say that, my older sister cares, but my younger brothers avoid me like the plague - hey just because I am right about everything in your life, does not mean you can just pretend I don't exist - you two screwed up, so, suck it up, I don't remind you - heck I have fixed your broken dishwasher and rewired a light for you and fixed your screwed you investments and took your kids on vacation when you could not afford to do it - a thank you would be nice. instead of pretending I don't exist on holidays.

hollysmom

(5,946 posts)
5. I really don't contact them unless I need to do it.
Tue Aug 26, 2014, 07:25 PM
Aug 2014

I still have the Christmas presents in my living room from one brother and the 1000 check for his kids college fund, it would serve them right if it was not cashable by the time I see them. I have decided to wait until they contact me, so maybe that is silent.

My other brother has older girls, they found me as soon as they could drive, ha ha, we did have fun in the summers past. I see them all the time.

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