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citizen blues

(573 posts)
Sat Oct 7, 2023, 04:58 PM Oct 2023

Appalling Church's Lack of Action (rant)

I have a friend whose father died at the start of the year. My friend's mother, a new widow, has wanted her non-Christian daughter (my friend) to accompany her to a big, evangelical church. It's not to convert the daughter, it's just so the the newly widowed mom wouldn't be alone going to this huge church. My friend has accommodated her mother and attended services as a way to support her mom during this difficult time while encouraging her mom to make some new connections.

I seriously thought the mom was just uncomfortable about going to a new church, especially one so large, without her husband. Then today I learn that my friend's parents had been members of this church for years. The church even hosted her father's funeral. Yet, not one person from that huge church has ever bothered to check on this newly-widowed woman. No one brought her hot dishes, offered her ride to church, so she wouldn't have to go alone, visited her, or even taken 5 minutes out their day to stop and pray with her. Not. One.

Instead, the lesbian couple across the street took my friend's mom hot meals every week for literally months. Last summer, they invited my friend's mom to a birthday party at their house. While my friend's mom was completely uncomfortable, she felt like she should go because they had been so kind to her. Well, she went, had a good time and was really glad she went. She even met another widow who lived just a few blocks away.

Keeping it real, my friend's mom isn't going to stop being an evangelical Christian any time soon. My friend also has a lot of health problems and can't always do things for her mom. After talking to my friend today, she's planning to do some "church shopping" and hopefully find a more moderate church that would be more welcoming and supportive for her mom.

I know there are churches out there that are more giving, but this evangelical one just ain't it. They even make attendees buy coffee at the barista stand they have set up in the lobby. (Didn't Jesus have something to say about money changers in the temple?)

If you're still reading, thanks for letting me rant. I'm just so thoroughly disgusted with so-called "Christians" acting like a pack of hyenas.

5 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Appalling Church's Lack of Action (rant) (Original Post) citizen blues Oct 2023 OP
Amen!! Karadeniz Oct 2023 #1
What we have today are "God malls" designed to capture your attention LastDemocratInSC Oct 2023 #2
That's exactly what this is! citizen blues Oct 2023 #5
I expect the real problem is that she goes to a big church. PoindexterOglethorpe Oct 2023 #3
I partially agree citizen blues Oct 2023 #4


(3,661 posts)
2. What we have today are "God malls" designed to capture your attention
Sat Oct 7, 2023, 07:08 PM
Oct 2023

(and money) by providing destinations for whatever one might be interested in. The coffee shops, exercise programs, tutoring sessions for students, interest groups and more may provide some benefits but it seems that they are intended to capture a person in a tight hold that excludes outside influences.

They are products of pop culture and eliminate the sense of a sacred experience.

citizen blues

(573 posts)
5. That's exactly what this is!
Sun Oct 8, 2023, 11:33 AM
Oct 2023

I had not heard the term "God mall" before, but it sure does provide an accurate description!


(25,947 posts)
3. I expect the real problem is that she goes to a big church.
Sat Oct 7, 2023, 09:59 PM
Oct 2023

Sounds like it's far too large for members to actually know each other. The mom should find a much smaller evangelical church to attend.

citizen blues

(573 posts)
4. I partially agree
Sun Oct 8, 2023, 11:29 AM
Oct 2023

Where I don't agree is that no every large church is like this. I have another friend who was on the staff of a very large Episcopal church in New England, and they didn't have this issue. Indeed, they made sure there were several people who would follow up with the bereaved to provide companionship and support especially after the funeral when everybody else goes home.

I absolutely do agree that this seems to be an issue with larger evangelical churches. I would agree a small, evangelical church would be ideal for my friend's mom. One where people would know her name and genuinely greet her when she walks in the door.

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