I don't know where to post this, but a close friend is passing soon & I'm asking for positive vibes
Last edited Mon Mar 6, 2023, 03:07 PM - Edit history (1)
Usually I post everything in GD, but lately it’s chock-full of really bad news. The Lounge is home to a lot of people, but not really me. So I’m dropping this here…
Leona is 80 this year, and we met 30 years ago when we entered an academic program in Mythological Studies with a degree emphasis in depth psychology. It was one of the most meaningful things I’ve ever done, and of all the people I met there, Leona became a friend for life, a treasure.
Leona lived her life with intention — decisively, and with courage. She changed her name and chose Volition as her middle name. And now she is choosing to die with intention — decisively, and with courage. She’s done. She’s in hospice and refusing water and food. She is leaving before she loses her Self to another stroke.
When I met her the first day of classes I was warmed by the sparkle in her eyes. Each in the class were asked what mythic creature had brought us here, and I was so serious in my answer. Leona said, “The Little Red Hen, because she said ‘I will do it myself,’ and she did.”
When her daughter decided to transition to be a man, from that moment Leona changed pronouns and used his chosen name. (He was still a pill to his mom, but my own family relations are enough of a mystery to deal with so I can’t judge. ) Then he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and wasn’t expected to live more than a couple of years. That was over 25 years ago, and he died a only few months ago living in another state, still estranged. This was only one painful thread running thru the tapestry of her life, but she met it all with intention and courage.
The tapestry Leona wove for herself was rich with experience. She lived frugally in a vacation cabin in the national forest for decades so she could do what really mattered to her, like travelling just about everywhere, and studying for a degree that makes most people say, “What?” She described the rigors of her journeys in vivid detail — in Antarctica a penguin fell madly in love with her (well, who wouldn’t? I thought ) . She was slip-sliding up a slope, the ice all covered in penguin poop, when she found herself on her knees nose to beak with a penguin. He bowed to her. Well what would you do? So she bowed back. He bowed again, so did she. At some point he waddled away, but soon returned with a rock in his beak, which he dropped at her feet with a soulful look. At that point she realized his intentions were serious, so she left to rejoin the humans. When she told me the story I laughed like hell.
Leona’s the reason our little group of friends sought out tiny local museums across the counties, and made day-trips to Los Angeles to visit special exhibits at their great museum, LACMA. So much, so much.
She took little part time office jobs at Adult Ed, and saw they needed a nude model for the art class. She was about 70 by then. She thought, why not? She thought, oh dear that's scary. She decided, I will do it. And she did. After one session she asked a student if she could have his sketch — she had it beautifully framed, and by the Goddess she looked like a Neolithic queen with her belly and long breasts, and head held high.
Whatever will I do without her?
Gentle crossing dear friend. 
= new reply since forum marked as read
If she's still cognizant, you might consider giving her a copy of it. Or, if you can be there, read it to her.
I am sure she will cross gently.
Blessings on you for writing this wonderful memory.
Sending all positive thoughts for you both!
Sounds like she will be missed by everyone who knew her. 
For your life long Friend, Leona, from you, Hekate.
How fortunate for you both to have your Treasured Friendship. It really is a gift.
I know a little of how you feel.. I lost my sister and best friend the day after Christmas in 2019. I think of her every day through out the day.
Peace Love and Aloha.. and Mahalo for sharing the outpouring of your heart with us. I know it's hard to lose your friend on Earth... 
I wish Leona peace in her next pain-free journey. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I have been told that a dry passing is a kinder way to leave one’s body. May Leona slip gently away. She will remain forever in the hearts and minds of those friends she leaves behind.
❤️
Always be with you.
I lost my dearest friend in life, my mentor in life and spirit, two years and three weeks ago. I still cry. I always will at some memories, good and hard. But I also realize that our relationship was the greatest gift of my life and to honor that I should keep the lessons learned in mind as I go forth and at my passing.
You friend sounds much life my friend, same approach to life though from much different origins. We all knew she was dying for some time and it took a while, she was with her daughter and husband, though, and they were able to to have the needed conversations, the expressions of love and caring, at home in the middle of a pandemic... a rarity at the time.
I was able to tell her that I loved her and cared with all my heart before she left and that meant a great deal for me. When she did pass, she let me know at that very time. I was in the middle of something when I had this overwhelming urge to go take a nap, so I did. I was in a dream state almost immediately, then transported to her bedroom where she died, I was behind her husband and daughter, the room was brightly sunlit. The hue of the light was and orangey-yellow, her favorite, she then sat up in bed, put her feet to the floor and stood up, fully dressed in a summer outfit of an orange/apricot plaid top and solid apricot capris. She stood up, and as if nobody else was there started toward the stairs. Suddenly we, the family and I, were at the bottom of the stairs near the front door watching her descend the stairs, grab a windbreaker from the coat-rack, walked out the door down the front walkway and into the light. Then I awoke and I knew.
And I see her sometimes but mostly I feel her in my heart whenever I get quiet enough to recognize her.
When Christine McVie passed, I was reminded of this song that says so much, I can't get through it without crying yet but it is also comforting in a time like this, so for you and your friend I offer you this and a big hug...
