Do children disrupt your worship in Church?

[mykpart]

This article discusses some solutions that make sense. I remember being in Mass with a fidgety child and having one woman keep turning around and pointedly staring at him, then at me. I remember thinking, "She better not expect me to take her hand at the sign of peace!" I personally don't think babies should be relegated to cry rooms or nurseries, particularly in a Catholic church.

I realize that most parents do pretty well with their children in church, and most parishes do a pretty good of job of working with kids. On many Sundays the noise level never exceeds reasonable levels. Children cluck and chatter within limits, and when they get loud parents take them for a walk. These are not the people I have in mind.

I'm thinking of situations where infants, toddlers, and young children actually disrupt a liturgy. These situations happen enough that business as usual is no longer acceptable. We need to come up with more creative alternatives and take full advantage of them. Parents with young children need to do a better job of handling their children when it comes to church. And parishes need to do a better job of providing constructive opportunities for families.

Here's the article: http://www.uscatholic.org/church/2008/07/for-crying-out-loud-lets-keep-kids-disrupting-mass

[No Vested Interest]

1. I always took my kids as far up front as possible

Four kids, two parents, one kid on each side of a parent.
When they are in one of the first few rows, they don't see as many distractions.
Of course, only so many families can be in front, but this solution can solve a few family's problems.

Funny story - I know of a woman, with several children, who, when she was tired of hearing the homily or just being in church, would pinch one of her children. When the child predictably cried, she removed the whole family from church, and went on with her day.

[meow2u3]

2. My parish has a separate "cry room" in the church

This way, the parents of babies and small children can still attend Mass while not disrupting the other Massgoers, especially those without children or whose kids are teens or grown.

[mykpart]

4. Lots of people think cryrooms are great, but

I don't like them. If the Church wants couples to welcome all children as gifts from God, it seems to me that the churches should welcome them also, and not relegate them to a sectioned-off area. That's just too much like Jim Crow to suit me.

[goldent]

9. As a parent I kind of liked them

because you didn't have the stress of causing a big disturbance when your kid got loud. In our church, some people used to come and go - try going into the world of grown-ups, and if it didn't go well, back into the cry room. I never saw it as more than a convenience.

[hunter]

3. Mostly it's the homeless people who are disruptive.

Some are not allowed in because they can't keep quiet. We recently had a guy threaten an usher with a knife.

Most parents are very "hands-on" and proactive in our parish. When our kids were babies my wife would nurse them if they got fussy and I notice even more moms doing that now. When our kids were being terrible toddlers I'd take them outside to run it off.

[mykpart]

5. I used to take my kids outside when the were uncontrollable too.

Maybe the church should have had a playground like they have at the fast food burger places. Maybe instead of a cryroom we could have a "break room." We always sat in front so that the kids could see what was going on, and be intimidated by the fact that the priest could see them. And some of their disruptions were questions about the readings or the prayers. I remember my son asking during the Consecration, "Is that really blood? Ooooh, he's drinking blood!" Now that they're grown I kind of miss that.

Frankly, children could laugh and swing from the rafters of the church, and it wouldn't bother me, because they belong there. (In church, I mean, not necessarily in the rafters!) If God gives you kids, you ought to bring them to see Him.

[hunter]

7. I've fond memories of that too.

My youngest kid could say or do things that made everyone laugh... even as a teen reading at the youth Mass.

And it was never disrespectful, just a kid being an honest kid.

[rug]

6. Not really. A parent will take a little one out back

Last edited Tue May 14, 2013, 09:15 PM - Edit history (1)

(and beat the crap out of them.)

Just kidding!

[mykpart]

8. Actually, that's what my father did!

But he was completely different with the grandchildren.

[IrishAyes]

10. I read the entire article

And here's the part I most agreed with:

"Families have a right to liturgy, just as we all do, and communities have a responsibility to welcome them. But families also have a responsibility to participate in ways that do not disrupt those around them."

I was an Army brat with all that entails, but when the whole family was together, we kids would never dream of embarrassing our parents at Mass because it came with serious consequences. When Dad had to be away w/o us, Mom was hardly on her own, with grandparents and other relatives around. On 'civilian time' we might act like little demons - which we probably were at times - but I think attending Catholic schools had a lot to do with appropriate behavior, too. Show me the kid willing to cross a nun and I'll show you a real live idiot.

Which is not to say the nuns I knew were abusive. I loved them dearly, even though like the other kids I called them Penguins behind their back. But they ruled well enough with moral authority.

That said, I want to share a few short stories of my most memorable times at Mass involving kids. At one point we had a priest who, after a baby was baptized, would hold the child aloft in his arms and march all the way up and down the aisle while everybody cheered, like he was daring the dark one to even think of coveting one of Christ's own.

Then there was one little baby who stayed perfectly silent during its entire baptism except when the Holy Spirit was mentioned, when it would squeal with joy at the top of its little lungs. Makes me quiver just remembering.

Lastly, there was one little toddler who loved our priest so much that the parents could hardly keep the kid in the pew. Once he managed to escape and run up front, so Father performed Mass with the little rug rat clinging tightly to his leg, and when Father took a seat, the kid was right there on his lap, hugging him for dear life. More than once people could see a literal, special aura surround that priest during services. I saw it myself a time or two, and now that I'm an old lady, I never run out of happy memories. Been very blessed, I have.

[mykpart]

11. Thank you for sharing those beautiful memories.

I remember a toddler in the front row who fidgeted all through Father's homily. Near the end of his talk, Father nodded to the child and said, "I'm almost finished talking now, son." With all the priest scandals we need to remember the good pastors too.

[IrishAyes]

12. So much more good than bad, I'm sure.