Gosh, guys and gals, I don't know about y'all but I wish there was a way

[Heddi]

that we could have an advice column for our regular readers here. Where we could post our ethical dilemmas, our general questions, or what to say to your shithead cousin that un-invited you to her wedding last week, that could be answered by an atheist.

Wouldn't that be cool?

sigh.

too bad we don't have something like that.

sigh.

3 votes, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Yes
	1 (33%)
	No
	0 (0%)
	I will kill whoever made that singing big lots commercial
	1 (33%)
	It puts the lotion on its skin
	0 (0%)
	or else it gets the hose again
	0 (0%)
	supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
	0 (0%)
	YOU SPELLED THAT WRONG
	0 (0%)
	Oh yeah, like it's in the dictionary
	0 (0%)
	DELUKINS!11!
	0 (0%)
	pie
	1 (33%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[Curmudgeoness]

1. I LOVE advice columns.

What's not to like about reading about other peoples' pathetic lives and problems, and the pathetic answers given. I think it's a great idea. When can we start? I have a lot of really stupid questions.

[Heddi]

2. I like Dear Prudence on Slate.com

She's no-nonsense, gay friendly, and doesn't take kindly to bullshit. People have accused her of posting fake questions for answers but I don't think so.

[Curmudgeoness]

5. I like this one better.

[BlueJazz]

3. I like the song via Big Lots.

[Heddi]

4. I may like it if it wasn't the only commercial shown today

but I'm a bit on edge because I spent multiple hours in airports between Sunday and Wednesday and have heard my ab-so-lute FILL of all things Christmas Music.

Except for Dominic the Donkey. I could listen to that every day

[BlueJazz]

6. "I spent multiple hours in airports between Sunday and Wednesday "

Ouch..I know the feeling. I've been through that a few times. After you watch the flight attendants give you the Lecture on what to do "In case of Emergency" for the 17th time, you want to put a plastic bag on your head and ask the person sitting next to you. "No matter what I say or do, don't let me take this bag off"

[Heddi]

7. one of the FA's was fabulous

He was like "in the event that this flight turns into a cruise, well, we're just all going to have a bad day. But under your seat is a floatation device."

he then said "in the even of a sudden drop in pressure, these oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling. When you stop screaming, you'll need to put them on yourself, then on a child, or someone acting like a child sitting next to you"



and ended with "For everyone who paid attention to this safety demonstration, thank you. For those who didn't, good luck"

it was awesome!

[BlueJazz]

10. That's funny! Everyone I've every seen is like a morbid movie. (I do pay attention though)

[Heddi]

12. I purposefully pay no attention

I pretend they tell me to use my fellow passengers as human shields

[Rainforestgoddess]

8. If only we could ask An Atheist

[Heddi]

9. If only....

I guess I need to get working on that Winter Solstice Holiday List....

[An Atheist]

11. Hey wait... I'm An Atheist

and I'm also an atheist.

I wonder if *I* could answer questions of a generic nature seeking general advice regarding ethical dilemmas, general questions, or what to say to your shithead cousin that un-invited you to her wedding last week.

I mean....I'm just putting my hat in the ring, so to speak.

[Rainforestgoddess]

13. Wow, it's like fate! Kismet! Karma!

[Heddi]

16. Talk about serendipity

who could have seen this? Who could have predicted?

[mr blur]

20. I say, "Go for it!"

If your advice is useless we could always send you to Interfaith to learn how to explain things properly

[Warren Stupidity]

23. Too bad you aren't Anne Atheist!

[NeoGreen]

24. ...bracket, "Miss", bracket...

...for those Monty Python lovers out there.

[Cartoonist]

14. You asked for it.

Thanks for volunteering to write an advice column. I know you're busy, but once a week shouldn't be too hard. Encourage people to send you PM's if their questions are too embarrassing.

[Heddi]

15. That's a great idea for whomever decides to do it

I saw a new poster above, An Atheist, who has offered to do it. Wouldn't that be great? Ask An Atheist? Especially since their user name is An Atheist. What perfect timing.

[onager]

17. I voted down the #$&# Big Lots commercial

Went to a funeral today that was more fun than that commercial.

Not a joke - it was very light on religion, only a closing prayer. My cousin, a non-preacher, did all the talking. The deceased lived a long, full life and his passing was not unexpected.

Afterwards, the cousin said he didn't quite have the nerve to tell a favorite story about the deceased: the time he got mad at his neighbors, who had just built a goldfish pond in their back yard. He went over and peed in the pond, killing all the fish.

My second-most-hated commercial after Big Lots - "Every kiss begins with K-A-A-A-Y..."

So does every kill, motherfucker.

[Warpy]

18. I disagree. If you want to kill somebody

kill the tasteless, talentless oaf who did the Salt n Pepa "Push It" commercial for Geico. Kill the clueless suits who approved it. Kill the advertising sales people who accepted it.

They're blitz advertising it on satellite, too. Gag me.

[Ron Obvious]

19. TV commercials

Can I just weigh in here, like the irritating, smug git that I am, that I don't have TV and have no idea what these annoying commercials are all about?

I often thought I would be an excellent advice columnist. I think 90% of the time, my answer would be one of:

1. Mind your own business
2. It's not about you
3. Get over it

[AlbertCat]

21. Dear Athie

Am I delusional?

[Warren Stupidity]

22. Are DELUKINS kinda like Pi?