My mom's birthday was this past Tuesday.

[seaglass]

On her birthday, this quote came up on my twitter feed:

“Nothing on earth can make up for the loss of one who has loved you.”
― Selma Lagerlöf

About this quote:
December 10, 1909: Swedish writer Selma Lagerlöf became the first woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature, 104 years ago today.

My mom died in July. The sadness has not lessened one bit and some of the events around her death I still cannot think about.

This quote was so meaningful for me - because it is true, because I'm a lover of literature and because I'm a feminist and the author became a first for women.

I've been feeling selfish about this quote. There is no one and will be no one who supports and loves me the way my mother did. She was always on my side no matter what (except sometimes if my husband and I disagreed she'd be on my husband's side - which I loved her for because she loved my husband as she would one of her sons). I'm feeling selfish about it because it feels like I care more about what she gave me rather than who she was.

I wish I had thought more about reminiscing about who she was and what made her happy before she died. Of course I know many of the stories of her life but a lot of it was about the hard parts, not as much about the fun parts. I am so fortunate that my mom saved everything because I have tangible proof about what mattered to her at different times in her life. Just this past week I found a pic of my mom and dad from when they were dating. She had written "Don and I Easter 1953" on the front and on the back of the pic it said "I love Don" and I could just imagine her as the 19 year old woman she was in that pic, in love and happy.

Anyway, I wanted to share this quote with you all and wish you peace over the upcoming holidays and new year.

[Little Star]

1. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.....

((((hugs)))) It's not easy to lose someone you love. Be kind to yourself, I know the holidays must be hard for you.

[seaglass]

2. Thanks Little Star - appreciate it :-)

[orleans]

3. what a wonderful quote--so true

especially when you loved them back so much

i lost my mom four years ago--still hurting (a lot)

still trying to carry on our usual relationship (example: recently i went for nearly four months without speaking to her! - because i was pissed off about something --long story-- it was the longest period of time i didn't talk to her, including when she was physically here).

we have such interesting/unique relationships with our mothers

i'm so very sorry for your loss

[seaglass]

4. Thanks for your comments orleans

I'm so sorry for your loss, there is such a hole in our hearts, isn't there?

I love this Phillip Phillips song, Gone, Gone, Gone.

"Gone, Gone, Gone"

When life leaves you high and dry
I'll be at your door tonight
If you need help, if you need help.
I'll shut down the city lights,
I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe
To make you well, to make you well.

When enemies are at your door
I'll carry you away from war
If you need help, if you need help.
Your hope dangling by a string
I'll share in your suffering
To make you well, to make you well.

Give me reasons to believe
That you would do the same for me.

And I would do it for you, for you.
Baby, I'm not moving on
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You will never sleep alone.
I love you long after you're gone
And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

When you fall like a statue
I'm gon' be there to catch you
Put you on your feet, you on your feet.
And if your well is empty
Not a thing will prevent me.
Tell me what you need, what do you need?

I surrender honestly.
You've always done the same for me.

So I would do it for you, for you.
Baby, I'm not moving on,
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You will never sleep alone.
I love you long after you're gone
And long after you're gone, gone, gone.

You're my back bone.
You're my cornerstone.
You're my crutch when my legs stop moving.
You're my head start.
You're my rugged heart.
You're the pulse that I've always needed.
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum my heart never stops beating...

For you, for you.
Baby, I'm not moving on.
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You will never sleep alone.
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
Baby, I'm not moving on,
I love you long after you're gone.
For you, for you.
You will never sleep alone.
I love you long, long after you're gone.

Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating.
Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you.

And long after you're gone, gone, gone.
I love you long after you're gone, gone, gone.

[auntAgonist]

5. In your mourning and love you chose to share with us. Thank you

I really like the quote and it speaks volumes of your relationship to your Mom.

Memories are keeping her alive in your heart, it doesn't lessen the sadness, in fact I know that sometimes it makes it worse.

Thanks for joining our little community here. Sharing as you did has helped me. My Mum's birthday was Nov. 26th. Not a day goes by that I don't cry for her.

Some days I think it's worse than the day she died.

aA
kesha

[seaglass]

6. Thanks for your comments kesha.

I am glad my post helped you, even a little bit and I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum. It is so heartbreaking.

Right now I am focused on fast forwarding through Christmas. I know that is not really fair to my family - they have spent every Christmas with my mom too - I just want the new year and a fresh start to come.

I don't plan to be around DU much if at all and wanted to acknowledge your kindness.

Peace to you.