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Trump's Bid To Become Born Again Fails As Jesus Turns Down Friend Request
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.
Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.
In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”
Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.
In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”
The rest: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-bid-to-become-born-again-fails-as-jesus-turns-down-friend-request
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