Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

The Velveteen Ocelot

(115,721 posts)
Thu Aug 4, 2016, 08:49 PM Aug 2016

Trump's Bid To Become Born Again Fails As Jesus Turns Down Friend Request

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The billionaire Donald J. Trump’s bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.

Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce His decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominee’s request for a personal relationship with Him.

In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: “Just everything.”


The rest: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-bid-to-become-born-again-fails-as-jesus-turns-down-friend-request
6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Trump's Bid To Become Born Again Fails As Jesus Turns Down Friend Request (Original Post) The Velveteen Ocelot Aug 2016 OP
I love good satire Gothmog Aug 2016 #1
Uh-oh. Jesus gonna be nailed by Donnie on twitter! rurallib Aug 2016 #2
Jesus hates America. Must be an illegal immigrant, Ilsa Aug 2016 #3
bwahahahaha DemonGoddess Aug 2016 #4
Rut-roh. With Jesus' rejection, can unfriending by the 2 Corinthians be far behind? pinboy3niner Aug 2016 #5
Very funny...enjoyed it !!! Demsrule86 Aug 2016 #6

Ilsa

(61,695 posts)
3. Jesus hates America. Must be an illegal immigrant,
Thu Aug 4, 2016, 09:18 PM
Aug 2016

Stealing someone's carpentry job. Donald forgot he brought him over to work on one of his building projects.

Latest Discussions»Retired Forums»2016 Postmortem»Trump's Bid To Become Bor...