She had the demeanor of a hostess.

[LAS14]

Last edited Wed Sep 28, 2016, 09:42 AM - Edit history (2)

Clinton, the graphic declared, should add levity, sell herself, and “be the Clinton who shines in a smaller room.”

I was struck by the image of Hillary striding across the stage to shake Trump's hand. There was something masterful (mistressful???). But I couldn't put my finger on it. But this observation from a New Yorker article pinned it down for me. They want her to be "pleasant", "gracious", smile.... So she greeted Trump like a hostess. The epitome of the white suburban woman. BRILLIANT!

P.S. Kept thinking about this overnight. The subtle but important difference between being a "pleasant" candidate and a hostess is that the hostess owns the space. She's in charge. She welcomes people to HER environment. That's exactly how she greeted Trump and he had to have gotten the vibe. She was in charge. Imagine the difference between Clinton in the living room of the hostess at a fund raiser and Clinton in her own living room, hosting a party.

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/jia-tolentino/hillary-clintons-miss-universe-moment

[retrowire]

1. Uhhhh.... nt

[Marthe48]

2. She realized almost immediately

it wasn't going to be a debate. I saw her look at him with this expression of realization, mixed with disbelief and maybe some pity, that she wasn't going to need half of her superb preparation.

[skylucy]

3. Great post!

[Marthe48]

27. Thanks!

[LAS14]

4. Kicking in hopes of hearing more of other people's thoughts.

[LAS14]

5. My hubby's thoughts on the matter via e-mail.

I think that you've seen something important.

She can't win for losing, right? She's either too loud and demanding or too restrained and weak. The classic double-bind of historic womanhood.

But the role of the hostess allows her to float over that double-bind without having to be contentious or defensive.

The role of the hostess, actually, combines power and community in a way that affirms others. Note well: the hostess is the opposite of the narcissist.

*******
Here's my response to hubby.

Unfortunately (??) I don't take such a benign view of it. I was thinking of the hostess as the expression of female power in a world where there are not a lot of occasions given for that without a fight. I kept thinking of powerful men meekly following instructions to put their coats in the bedroom and come and meet so and so.

[Adrahil]

6. Not sure I like that image....

but I do think she was projecting a more open and enthusiastic aspect of herself. Many people say this is what she is like in person, but that she sometimes closes off in public because of DECADES of people examining every little thing you say and turning into a national scandal. She managed to be both open AND measured on Monday. She may not be Barack Obama, but she was awesome, and I'm very proud to cast my vote for her.

[Avalux]

7. She owned the stage immediately from her opening. She set it up and he never recovered.

She called him "Donald" on several occasions, which he hates. She never ONCE allowed his interruptions to keep her from talking, she continued on in spite of him without raising her voice. There are so many things I can point to that showed her subtle dominance - as she got under Donald's skin. I bet he threw one helluva temper tantrum after leaving that stage.

[LAS14]

8. Oh, hey! I didn't know he didn't like "Donald!"

That campaign is so clever!

Do you know what he prefers to be called? Cheeto?

[Avalux]

9. Ruler of the Universe?

Yep, I had read once that he doesn't like to be called "Donald", he sees it as a lack of respect. I like to think that every time Hillary said it, he had flashbacks to being admonished by his mommy and it drove him nuts.

[LAS14]

11. That rings very true!

[Hortensis]

18. One person around him says he insists on being called

"Mr. Trump," never Trump or whatever. This was after some years of his styling himself as "The Donald" (apparently thought that sounded very impressive), so he had some up-scaling of his image to do to get to "Mr."

Some time has passed, but for a while you could tell those who were sucking up to him and showing up on interview shows by their scrupulous use of Mr.

[Hekate]

21. I thought Ivana invented the term; some early interview noted that she called him The Donald...

...and made it sound like a pet name with an eyeroll built in. So who knows -- I don't follow these people; just retain random factoids.

[Hortensis]

26. Me neither. Maybe media adopted it as appropriately

silly and he hated it for years.

In any case, "Donald"'s a no-no for the great man.

[Retrograde]

22. I like symmetry and consistency

If he's going to refer to Secretary Clinton as Hillary she can refer to him as Donald.

BTW, "The Donald" sounds classless, like something someone on The Jersey Shore might think of as awesome when it is just childish.

[obamanut2012]

10. A HOSTESS -- wtf???

Even complimenting HRC, they still use a gender-demeaning term.

And no, hostesses are not being demean, but calling Clinton one in this context IS demeaning.

[LAS14]

12. No! She's was cleverly playing the part, to obtain...

... all the advantages mentioned above. She's stuck with a sexist society, so she's fighting in the most intelligent ways possible.

[Frank Cannon]

13. Well, she essentially acted as the hostess.

She basically did doble duty as the debate moderator, given that Holt wasn't doing much to shut Trump up and keep him on task.

[Orsino]

15. In the sense that she owned the room.

I had a weird reaction to that word, too, but it works.

[Frank Cannon]

17. That's how I interpreted it.

There was no moderator at that debate. Ms Clinton filled in for him, and she did a great job.

[LAS14]

14. OK. I THINK this may be my last new thought on the subject.

A few weeks ago I ranted on DU about David Brooks' saying that Hillary "was unpleasant and ungracious." I was horrified that anyone with his intelligence could be so old-fashioned sexist. When is the last time someone was expected to be "gracious" at a forum on national security - or in ANY context in a political contest?

Now I've got it into my head that the Clinton team noticed this as well, at it gave them the idea of how Hillary can get over the hump of the ridiculous, but actual insistence that she be "nice." I think they may have said, Hillary, think about "gracious". Who is appropriately "gracious," if not a hostess? Just imagine yourself in your living room, taking command.

Possible?

[Orsino]

16. Trump had the demeanor of a hostess...

...in the sense that he looked like a complete twinky.

[KingCharlemagne]

24. ROTFLMAO. Thanks for that!,- nt

[riversedge]

19. Have to say--being a "hostess" does not

sit right with me. But, putting into the context as you described it makes sense. A good hostess does own the room as she did that--right from the start with her firm, yet gentle stroll and handshake (I grimaced when Donald put his hand on her back!!).


Sorry I missed this post. Just did not see it. Thank you.

[Hortensis]

28. Sexist. Hostesses are in charge -- in a gracious way only.

Nobody complimented Kennedy on coming across as a good host in his debates, and through most of "hostess" history departed after dinner to leave the men to important talk--if they ate with the men at all.

[BobbyDrake]

20. In modern slang, we might say "like a BOSS" instead.

But I get what you're saying, I think.

[sheshe2]

23. Hosted fine, hostess no.

Hostess makes me think of the 50's with a woman wearing an apron.

[Maru Kitteh]

25. I'm having a hard time with this. A hostess is servile, expected to please her guests.

Yes, it is her domain, but she is expected to aspire to perfection in her home, her offerings, her conversation and entertainment, her service.

It makes me uncomfortable.