Post your sexual harassment and groping stories here. I'll start.

[MoonRiver]

As soon as I entered puberty, I had to endure the disgusting sexual comments from men, many of them construction workers, but definitely not limited to that crowd. It was so bad that I often looked forward to being older so I would be free of this harassment.

Next, right after getting my Bachelor's degree in psychology, I was hired as a therapist helping disabled kids. Professional sounding title, but the pay sucked, lol. Anyway, a month into my job I was called into the supervisor's office, allegedly to discuss a client. After a few minutes of b.s. the guy said that my performance was ok, but he really only hired me for my looks, and proceeded to put his arms around me. I ran out of the room, and wrote my resignation letter. In those days, there were no departments of sexual harassment, so this incident was never reported, and the guy went on to harass other women in the agency. I know, because they told me after I left. None of us knew what to do, except talk among ourselves.

A couple of years later I was in graduate school and already involved in environmental issues. I attended a Sierra Club dinner, and was seated next to a very attractive and intelligent man. We had a great conversation, and had he been single I definitely would have been interested. However, he did mention that he was married and his wife was 9 months pregnant. Ok, no problem. Except, he then asked if he could come home with me! When I went ballistic about his poor wife, he said, but she can't have sex with me right now! OMG, OMG, he actually thought I might want to help him out in that department! Well I let him have it, but I really felt bad for his wife.

Those aren't my only stories, but I'll leave it there and let others comment. All men are definitely NOT predators, but most women have encountered a few of them.

[iwillalwayswonderwhy]

1. At age 20 I went on a job interview

I thought it was going well, when the guy told me blow jobs would be included in my duties. Another interview with a prominent married attorney offered me a job as assistant when he was in town, but I would have to travel with him when he was out of town. One room, of course, he said with a wink. I walked out of both interviews, but that's all I did. Walked out silently.

The seventies.

[MoonRiver]

2. Horrific!

Yes, in those days, all we could do was walk out. Glad things have changed, somewhat.

[DURHAM D]

3. First time - I had a summer

job at the local swimming pool. The park superintendent came into the cage area one night and grabbed me, yanked me into him and slammed his mouth and tongue into my face. I was 14 and he was 59.

I called my Dad immediately. He came over and talked with him and the next day my Dad went to the Mayor and the Chief of Police. It never happened again, not to me or any of my friends. Before the end of the summer he lost his job.

Moral of the story - always tell someone, in fact, tell everyone.

I used to work in a large office. We wrote the names of the perps on the mirrors in the women's bathrooms with lipstick.

[MoonRiver]

4. Hooray for your dad, and congrats on standing up to the abuse!

[CrispyQ]

9. I love the bathroom mirror idea! -nt

[Marthe48]

12. Good for you!

Love the lipstick on the mirror!

[lapucelle]

7. This is not truly a harassment story, but I once had the disgusting experience

of getting the once over by Agent Orange himself.

I was at an opera at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. It was a benefit for the Welsh National Opera, and Princess Diana was the guest of honor, so of course, all the NY VIPS and social types were in attendance.

I bought tickets for me and my mom who was both an opera buff and an anglophile. Our $40 seats were one row behind the $1000 seats. The Rockefeller family was right in front of us. Only the people with $1000 seats got programs, and when Happy Rockefeller left hers behind, my mom picked it up and took it home. I still have it.

In the lobby between acts, I encountered the Trumps. (I think they had just come in, having missed the first act.) Donald slowly looked me up and down (starting at my feet) and then licked his lips. Ivana was standing right next to him.

All I could think was, "what an asshole".

[MoonRiver]

8. Ewwwww, what a creepy experience, at least the encounter with tRump part.

Before that it sounds extraordinary!

I continue to wonder about Rump and Ivanka. Hope nothing happened, but I feel uncomfortable about their relationship.

[Cakes488]

19. And to add insult to injury how foul to do that right in front your wife...

The Trump wives know all about the man they married. THEY KNOW

[CrispyQ]

10. A note about sexual harassment complaints.

They don't have to be made by the person who was harassed. I worked at a company where a young man made sexual overtures to a receptive and willing young woman. Well, he didn't do it privately and someone else overheard and made the complaint. He complained that that wasn't right and was told, "No, the comments you made are not appropriate for the work place." He was written up and his attitude went in the dumper and he was eventually fired.

I think everyone in the company was surprised to find this out.

[Marthe48]

11. Oh, geez

1. When I was 12 or so, I met some new neighbor kids, who were a little younger than I was and they wanted me to meet their 10 or 11 year old brother. We took our bikes up the hill, and into their driveway. He was in their detached garage, with the door up. We went toward him, and he flung himself on me, and tried to tear my clothes off, right in front of his siblings. I fought him off and left. I was wearing one of my brothers' button down shirts and 60's era shorts. I had to throw the shirt away. The younger kids came back down the street later, and said he wanted to apologize. I was very wary when I met him, but he did apologize and the short time he was on the street, he never acted that way again.

2. I was about 18, on a Greyhound bus heading from PA to Oh. The bus stopped and picked up a guy a little older than I was. He sat down beside me, even though the bus was nearly empty. Back then, I was friendly, so I talked to him, the next thing I knew, he was on me. He was very strong and powerful. I was able to signal the driver and he sharply told the guy to get off me and move to the front, which he did. He got off soon after. I went up to thank the driver, and learned that the guy was in a local special ed. program. The Greyhound service picked some of the students up if they were on the route. Had the driver not intervened, I don't think the story would have ended well.

3. For several years after I was married, some of my husband's friends and relatives and my sister's husband, were on the make, and I had to fend them off. At least by that time, I didn't have to have wrestling matches. I hardly dated in high school and college, and I was bewildered by all these unwelcome advances. They finally got the message and left me alone.

I have been scared by males, and I learned not to make eye contact, say anything suggestive, pretty much unless I am in a group, or in a public place, I avoid talking to men. I'm in my 60's now, and the guys I know I do feel safe with. Thanks for listening.

[MoonRiver]

13. How terrible that you had to learn so young not to trust many men!

But I know what you mean. I also became wary at a young age of showing what predatory men might interpret as encouragement. I am still cautious. Recently I was leaving our local UPS, which a liquor store was adjacent to. As I was walking back to my car, two middle aged men piled out of a car right next to mine, and headed to the liquor store. Except one of them made a detour to grab me! I shouted "don't touch me" to him and he did slink off. This was the middle of the day, and I am also in my 60's!

[Marthe48]

17. That's awful

I'm glad you yelled at him. So blatantly disrespectful.

[MoonRiver]

20. NOT an excuse, but I think he may have already been drunk.

Also, inside their car was a tee shirt with the name of a local restaurant on it. I have kept this in my memory bank, just in case.

[Marthe48]

32. Substances brings the true person out

Sounds like that guy was on a tear.

[Cakes488]

23. I have been groped too...

your first example reminded me of the first time which I had forgotten about!!!! I was about 6 years old...and I became friendly with kids around the block (boys)...they asked me to come over so I rode my little tricycle to their house. They got me in the backyard and cornered me against the garage and they were trying to kiss me and got all handsy....I flew out of there so fast and rode home for my life. I told my mother and we got that straightened out.

I have plenty of other groping/flashing stories and one that was done by a cousin....the bottom line is this is a common thing and it needs to stop. Polls show that most people believe he did this yet they won't pull support over it. Clearly, people...both men and women (Trump supporters) don't care about this. What kind of mentality thinks this is OK when I know these trashpot people have daughters, sisters, mothers..etc.

[Marthe48]

33. Sorry for your experience

And glad you got away. It seems like this kind of behavior has always been with us, but you don't know how awful it is until it happens.

[ancianita]

14. Fired from Ma Bell for pregnancy. Suspended from FSU for breaking curfew (men's was later).

As a kid, witnessed pretty violent stuff done to my mom.

No name was given to triggered feelings/actions I experienced from my 20's - 50's, until the DSM IV came out with PTSD for vets, which then slowly got applied to women's experience of post-violence. Many years of costly therapy.

There's an old but still useful book that could use some updating, entitled "Men Are Not Cost-Effective," in which the amounts and economic costs of sexism, predation and gender violence are laid out. Though women intuit some obvious areas and can do some of their own quick stats research, this book stands as an organized. well-researched reference that broadens their economic perspective.

Thank you for this caring thread.

[MoonRiver]

15. I'm so sorry.

And thanks for that helpful reference.

[ancianita]

16. Sure.

[ohheckyeah]

18. I was a very naive 20 year old, working for a government agency.

and only the boss and I were in the office. The agents had worked all night. The boss backed me up against a wall and tried to kiss me. I pushed him off and walked away. I called one of the agents to come in to be a buffer. I was terrified. I needed that job. I had nobody trustworthy to turn him in to.

2 years later, i was working in DC for the same agency, different division, and the boss tried to get me to go on a business trip with him. I let him know I didn't mess around with married men.

[MoonRiver]

21. Thanks for sharing. These toads need to learn we will NOT put up with their unwelcome advances!

[ohheckyeah]

22. The jerks thought wearing a uniform made

them entitled and they thought I was too small to defend myself. I was all of 5'2" and weighed about 100 lbs. But I knew what a well placed knee could do.

[MoonRiver]

24. The most empowered I ever felt was when I took a judo class in college.

I learned some good moves then, because our instructor gave special attention to self-defense.

[ohheckyeah]

25. Wish I had done that.

[MoonRiver]

26. Not too late!

[ohheckyeah]

27. Actually it is. 2 strokes

and I can't walk.

[MoonRiver]

28. Oh, sorry.

I was bedridden for a year with undiagnosed femoral necrosis. This was the result of breast cancer treatment I had 4 years earlier. I hope you get better and are able to walk again.

[ohheckyeah]

34. Thank you. i miss walking. Hope you are doing well. Sorry you went through a rough time.

None of us escape do we?

[HockeyMom]

29. Stalked by NYPD car at 13, and of course, Trump my in 20's

I was walking home from Catholic School in my "sexy" uniform. They were following me in their car very slowly shouting out lewd remarks and offering me a ride home. I was almost in tears. Cannot outrun a car. Back in those days we were always taught as children that the police are your friends and will help you. Who was going to help me against the police?

When I got home, I immediately told my Dad who was a NYC Longshoreman. He was livid and ran out the door looking for them. He did not find them which probably was a good thing, for him.

I have told of my experience with Trump. By my 20's I had met a lot of creepy men by that time. It made me more mad; surprised, but mad. BTW, when a woman is 5'1" and 100 lbs. she cannot outrun Donald Trump either.

[MoonRiver]

30. Horrific! Thanks for sharing.

[kimbutgar]

31. I was 9 years old when I got groped the first time

It was at a surplus kind of junk store. My mom loved to go to these type of stores. She always brought me a cheap toy. The owner his name was Gus followed me back into the toy section. My mother was nearby but not in eye view and then he put his hand and touched my vjay. I was surprised and ran over to my mother and we left a couple minutes later. Couple weeks later, she asked me if I wanted to go. I told her no, mom was surprised because I said " I didn't want to go". She kept asking me why and I finally told her. I will never forget the look on my mom's face. A lot of emotions went over her face and then the mad look settled. She grabbed me and we drive to the store. She got in the face of Gus and said "never touch my girl again". Then she said, " Or I will tell her father". At that he became a wimpy guy. My Dad was 6'2 kind of menacing look guy until he smiled. We went back after that but only if we found his wife there. He never came near me again. He died a painful cancer death. My mom finally told Dad. He got really mad my mom didn't tell him then.

[ohheckyeah]

35. That reminded me of a time I got groped at a candy store we

went to between Sunday school and church. the guy had chocolate on his hands and I had on a white coat. my mom went ballistic on the guy. He tried to pay her to have the coat cleaned, and I thought she was going to punch him. She said to hell with the coat. is that what you think I'm concerned about? My mom is a sweet southern lady who doesn't cuss. it was almost comical to see her scare the crap out of the pervert.

[MoonRiver]

37. Right in front of your mother, unbelievable!

My mom would have done the same thing, btw, and I never heard her curse. But protecting one's young WILL bring out the tiger in moms, and dads. Glad you escaped the claws of that perv.

This reminds me of another incident when I was 6 years old and walking the two blocks from my home to school. A pervert tried to "give me a ride" with the promise of candy (oldest trick in the book). My parents had always warned me about these types of men, and how they lure children, so I declined. Just lucky the guy didn't get out of the car and force me in, which happens more and more these days.

[ohheckyeah]

39. I don't know if she told my Dad.

[FrenchieCat]

36. All of these stories are so unfortunate....

I've had a few, but the one that sticks with me the most happened when I was an 18 year old Freshman in college.

My best friend and I had gotten an apartment by the University I was attending.
For me, it was much nicer than living in the dorms. She hadn't been accepted to the University yet,
but had applied in hopes of getting in the following semester.
She was married (she got married young, and I was a bridesmaids in her wedding. She was a year older than me),
to a guy who we had known since Junior High School; He was three years older than me, and a star athlete
who played professional baseball. He was always off to some training camp and although his team was in the same state, they were based quite far away.... and so, he didn't live with us.

He would come a stay a few days, now and then.....but it was quite a large apartment, so no issues there.

Well one day, my BFF was running a quick errand, and he was there at the apartment alone with me; a rarity. We were talking about something lightweight, when he suddenly lunged at me, dragged me into my bedroom, and told me that he had been wanting to feel my breasts for a long time.....which he proceeded to do. He then left the apartment, and left me there in shock as to what had just happened. My biggest concern was not that I had been assaulted, as much as whether I should tell my Best friend that this had happened. Even at the age of 18, I understood that because they were married, and it would have been my word against his, this news would not go over well, and I might find myself without a roommate. After careful deliberation, I decided not to tell her. She was not accepted to the school, and left a few months later, and I moved to a place I could afford on my own, as I had gotten a job. After that, slowly but surely, I made my relationship with my BFF pretty much disappear. I stopped going around her, even though he was still playing ball and was rarely around. It was one of those secrets that I held on to. A few years later, she called to tell me that he had died; had been robbed and shot while going into a liquor store kinda of late at night, in the rough part of town where he grew up. that was over 30 years ago. I have gotten together with his wife (who was married to him till he died), my former BFF, quite a few times....and of course never ever mentioned this to her, as at this point, it wouldn't serve any purpose anyways.

First time I have written this down. Maybe the 3rd time I have told anyone....after my husband and later my daughters, after they became young adults.

[MoonRiver]

38. Must have been very hard to carry this horrible secret around.

I've always thought the worst assaults are from those we trust.

[FrenchieCat]

40. That's what was shocking....and sad,

As in a spli second he had created a dynamic that wasn't required between me and my BFF! Guess he didn't care or couldn't help himself...Either way being very unfortunate...

[MoonRiver]

41. Yes, and just imagine when it happens to a child with father, uncle, brother, trusted friend, etc.

Unfortunately I have encountered this far too many times while working as a psychologist in the public schools. How can a child possibly process such a betrayal, especially when the perpetrators cleverly lay blame on their victims, often through years of brainwashing/grooming.

[FrenchieCat]

42. Really very tragic.... n/t

[NCTraveler]

43. Crying. nt.

[easttexaslefty]

44. 15 & on a date at the drive in movie

Making out and the guy starts getting grabby. Starts trying to pull down my pants. I keep saying no & trying to push him away. He finally relents. I tell him I want to go home now.

8 years or so later. Ex husband and I are separating. He hasn't moved out yet tho.
Comes home drunk & rapes me.

In my 30's. Working for the post office delivering mail. It's a male dominated work place. One male supervisor makes jokes about my breast size. The other tells me he can place me on a less difficult routes for "favors".
I find out that there are already many sexual harassment complanit's at this office but they never get anywhere. I quit.

2 year later I'm cleaning houses. One of my clients sets me with an appt. With her neighbor, a retired dentist. He shows me the house & we start to discuss price. He sits down, grabs my wrist and pulls me down into his lap.
I run out.

I'll stop there.

[MoonRiver]

45. I am so sorry. This crap has to stop!

Why should we have to spend so muc of our energy dodging male sexual predators?

[ohheckyeah]

46. When I was 6

The son of a friend of my dad's wanted to give me a "ride" on his shoulders. I had on shorts and he put his hand up my shorts and inserted one or two fingers into my vagina. I haven't worn shorts since then. I've worn long pants most of my life, dresses made me feel vulnerable. I told my mom when I was 26.

[MoonRiver]

47. Horrible, and what a disgusting POS.

No child should have to endure that.

[ohheckyeah]

48. Thank you. It affects one

All their life.