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Ichingcarpenter

(36,988 posts)
Sun Apr 8, 2012, 02:11 PM Apr 2012

BREAKING: Romney names running mate

The Romney campaign today announced a surprise pick for Vice President – Exxon Mobil Corporation. “This is a game changing decision, that will really energize the true Republican base: Koch Industries, Haliburton, Walmart, Bechtel, Fox and Shell BP,” said a Romney spokesman. “It's also a breakthrough for minority rights, as it's the first time a Corporate American had appeared on the ballot. With subsidiaries in fifty eight countries and puppet regimes in six, Exxon Mobil brings to the ticket foreign policy experience focused on the only countries that matter – the ones with oil.”

When questioned by reporters about the vetting process, the spokesman said that it had been completed in a record forty eight hours by Exxon Mobil staff. Asked about the possible conflict of interest, the spokesman revealed that Exxon had been vetted by the same Exxon public servants who wrote the Cheney administration's energy policy, so they were ideally qualified for vetting a Vice Presidential candidate.

Exxon Mobil is expected to self finance the campaign. “We would have paid for it anyway,” said their CEO, “But now we get a place on the ticket, too. I know there are some racists out there who don't think that Corporate Americans are real Americans, or even real people, but this election will prove them wrong.”

A spokesman for the Obama campaign said they were not commenting on the constitutionality of this announcement until they had seen Exxon Mobil's birth certificate.



http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/03/31/1079533/-BREAKING-Romney-names-running-mate

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BREAKING: Romney names running mate (Original Post) Ichingcarpenter Apr 2012 OP
Ha! There are idiots who would find that a swell pick! nt MADem Apr 2012 #1
But of course... annabanana Apr 2012 #2
Didn't you know it was over? MormonReform Apr 2012 #3
lol Exactly. You know, I like this sentence in the piece. It sums up the GOP: Sarah Ibarruri Apr 2012 #4
Heh! "until they had seen Exxon Mobil's birth certificate" madinmaryland Apr 2012 #5
LOL RKP5637 Apr 2012 #6
Usain Bolt dipsydoodle Apr 2012 #7
although it's funny, it's sadly true: "corporations are people, my friend" wordpix Apr 2012 #8
Too close to the truth for comfort. n/t Cleita Apr 2012 #9
Exxon Mobil Corporation is only thirteen years old and isn't qualified to be on the ticket Brother Buzz Apr 2012 #10
Very nicely done. LittleCharlie Apr 2012 #11
Oooh. Fatal mistake. Hawkowl Apr 2012 #12
Well hey - he thinks corporations are people so why not? Initech Apr 2012 #13
ROFLMAO McCamy Taylor Apr 2012 #14
That's already happened: Cheney=Big Oil polichick Apr 2012 #15

Sarah Ibarruri

(21,043 posts)
4. lol Exactly. You know, I like this sentence in the piece. It sums up the GOP:
Sun Apr 8, 2012, 02:28 PM
Apr 2012

the true Republican base: Koch Industries, Haliburton, Walmart, Bechtel, Fox and Shell BP,

wordpix

(18,652 posts)
8. although it's funny, it's sadly true: "corporations are people, my friend"
Sun Apr 8, 2012, 02:41 PM
Apr 2012

so sayeth Offshore Haven Mittens

Brother Buzz

(36,416 posts)
10. Exxon Mobil Corporation is only thirteen years old and isn't qualified to be on the ticket
Sun Apr 8, 2012, 03:11 PM
Apr 2012

Exxon Mobil Corporation was formed on November 30, 1999, by the merger of Exxon and Mobil.


I know, "Picky, picky, picky".

 

Hawkowl

(5,213 posts)
12. Oooh. Fatal mistake.
Sun Apr 8, 2012, 04:32 PM
Apr 2012

Does anyone think that Mitt might have a premature accident and end up with Exxon as president?

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