The Orgasm Gap

[ismnotwasm]

Women are shattering political glass ceilings, surpassing men in the workforce, and even winning Indy-car races. But there’s one area where the gender gap has proved particularly stubborn.

“The orgasm gap is an inequity that’s as serious as the pay gap, and it’s producing a rampant culture of sexual asymmetry,” says Paula England, a professor of sociology at Stanford University.

New academic research conducted by England and others is shedding light on one of the world's most familiar bedroom problems. In a study to be published later this year by W.W. Norton in the book Families as They Really Are, researchers found that college women have orgasms half as often as men on repeat hookups (meaning hooking up more than twice) and only a third of the time in first-time hookups. And they concluded that a lack of sexual reciprocity could be a key reason for this orgasm gap. The study was conducted by a team of researchers from Stanford and Indiana University.

The male psychology on women's orgasms is comparable to their psychology on housework: Men don’t pull their weight on either front because no one makes them.

Their research confirms that the orgasm gap is widespread among young people in both casual hookups and relationships. Surveying 12,925 undergraduates from 17 universities, researchers examined four sexual contexts—a first hookup, one to two previous hookups, three or more previous hookups, and a relationship—and found that in all cases, men were twice as likely to orgasm. That gap is far wider in hookup situations than in relationships. In the context of relationships, women orgasm about 80% as often as men.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2009/02/09/the-orgasm-gap.html


Yet another side effect of misogyny/sexism

[Ed Suspicious]

1. Man...

The male psychology on women's orgasms is comparable to their psychology on housework: Men don’t pull their weight on either front because no one makes them.

That's some real mysandrist bullshit right there.

[DURHAM D]

2. Facts... Don't you just hate 'em.

[BainsBane]

4. I don't think it's misandrist

but nor is it universal. Some men are very attentive to such matters; others, not so much. In my experience, the latter is more common.

[Dash87]

22. Quote was by another guy. Still, it's a lazy stereotype.

[BainsBane]

3. I think there is a lot involved with this

1) biology. Ours is more challenging. Men become physically exhausted after orgasm 2) age 3) psychology of both partners: How interested a man is in seeing his partner climax, how patient he is, and the woman's psychological condition (how comfortable she is with her partner, past hurt in relationships etc...). Another thing to keep in mind is that while men climax more easily, like us their orgasms vary in intensity and satisfaction level.

[Freddie]

5. It's a matter of biology

Men orgasm with intercourse. Some women do, most need...help. Men don't necessarily get this, especially young and inexperienced ones. And some don't care.

[Ed Suspicious]

7. I agree. And the sampling was taken from college kids who hook up with varying degrees of

regularity. I did not understand what it took to bring my wife to orgasm until much later in life. I would say neither she nor I were mature enough to explore it until then. It takes maturity and a level of familiarity for a comfort level to develop.

Yes, I could pump out an ejaculate sample nearly any time I choose during my early twenties, but upon reflection that's about how satisfying the sex probably was in comparison to what it is approaching 40.

I think shallow, non-committed sex is just that. Shallow. A real beneficial understanding of our own and our partner's needs is derived from experience, comfort level and communication. I know someone is gonna show up here and talk about some random roll in the sack with a stranger as the best sex of their lives, but I think for most people that's not more than fantasy.

[ismnotwasm]

9. I should hope not

(Random roll in the hay; what the book 'Fear of Flying' 'the zipless fuck')

Working in health care, I've been aware of this for some time, women's health care socialists are aware. The number of women who 'fake' orgasm' is far too high--and unnecessary. Some might have to do with an inability to express what feels good to them, and, as you say, some is inexperience on the part of both. Some is due to certain misconceptions brought on by porn culture.

What the article inelegantly points out is that it *is* happening, a partner relies on the attention and concern of their lover for orgasm. Young people are turning to sex toys before they know how do do anything else, and the disparity of oral sex between male and female partners is certainly telling.

I have a hard time finding good articles on this topic, although I think it certainly needs to be a conversation. And one without all the shame that seems to arrive with discussions of women and orgasm.

[seabeyond]

12. Good post.

The thing, as we get older and smarter, We know they are just locker room stories. So when they come up with these stories, we Know better

[redqueen]

14. Agree with everything you've said, but...

even shallow meaningless sex should be satisfying to both parties. We are shortchanging women for no other reason than women's sexuality is just rarely considered at all. It simply is not fair.

[seabeyond]

17. But, the reason that women sexuality isn't considered at all… pisses Me off.

Men, society, a culture, media, it all promotes only men. That is what we need to focus on.

[redqueen]

19. Yep, treat the cause, not the symptom.

Radical feminists get to the root of the problem

[JustAnotherGen]

27. +1

[Tien1985]

6. There are a whole

Lot of perceptions that would have to change to make headway here.

Seems like a pretty good starting place is comprehensive sex education. Sex Ed is often a small part of a larger health class, or a separate, but very brief program. It needs to be treated with upmost seriousness. It needs to cover real bodies and how they work, not just allude to the fact that people have sex, and generally enjoy it, so use a condom. A real sex Ed class would also address consent in a relevant way.

[ismnotwasm]

10. Exactly

Too much Sex Ed dances around the topic of sexual pleasure as well as what consent means means. I was talking to a friend recently who was very open with her daughters, as they grew, she unashamedly gave very good information. As a consequence, her daughters were able to have sexual agency, their choices on sex were well grounded. They choice to have sex when they felt ready, not because of physical feelings they couldn't quite identify. They were very aware of what coercion was as well and had defenses against it.

In some sex ed, Might as well say you get feelings 'down there'.

I seriously doubt this is limited to college age women.

[Little Star]

8. Bingo

[redqueen]

11. Male sexuality is glorified and catered to.

Female sexuality is presented almost exclusively as tailored for the male gaze and in service to male sexuality. We are portrayed as getting off simply by getting men off.

More sex ed and less idiotic porn would help. (No, most women don't have screaming orgasms from penetration, nor from two or three minutes of cunnilingus. Morons.)

[seabeyond]

13. Right on. All of our culture is focused on the awesomeness of male sexuality.

A woman sexuality is not even Relevant except to get men off. When we have a culture that presents nothing but that to our kids, of course there's Going to be issues with both genders. When we tell our kids to learn about sex from porn, yeah there's a be problem.

[redqueen]

15. Many young women even get the idea there's something wrong with them

when they find their experience differs so greatly from the comical, caricatured portrayals of female pleasure in porn.

[seabeyond]

16. I like what ism says. Moms need frank talks.

Girls, be selfish, get yours then focus on the man, lol

[redqueen]

18. You'd be surprised how many moms don't even know.

How can mom teach her daughter to get hers first if she's never had one with a partner?

[seabeyond]

20. Oooosh. Being the sexual being I am lovin' getting mine, I hadn't considered.

I figured all us women eventually got to that point. Hopefully quickly. That is a consideration. Terribly sad also.

[redqueen]

21. It is very sad.

Sadder still is how ashamed and embarrassed they often are about it. Again, like there's something wrong with them.

[seabeyond]

25. ya, i hear ya. another area we feminist need to speak up and say... enough women.

lol, dont be buying into this shit.

[BainsBane]

29. You know

if may be because I was raised by a Catholic mother and some of it seeped in me, but no way I would have wanted my mom teaching me about orgasm.

[Sheldon Cooper]

24. I think age and experience have a lot to do with this.

Along with the comfort level of the people involved. It can take awhile for a woman to discover what works for her, and it can take even longer before she feels comfortable to articulate that and ask for it from her partner. There are certainly a fair amount of men who truly don't care if they are able to please their partner, but I don't think it's a majority - I really think that most men want to please, they just need to be told and shown in plain language.

[seabeyond]

26. and there in lies the issue. i would say most women KNOW what works for them,

when applying it to themselves has figured it out. but, it is the ability to take that to a mate. and if the man is thinking about himself, why the hell is the woman not thinking about herself.

well, that would be because all of society uses the womans sexuality to shame her and keep her in line. so what she recognizes alone does not manifest with another.

[upaloopa]

28. We need better sex education for boys.

Many times boys or men do not understand how a woman's body works. They have to be taught and once taught they need to be caring enough to let that body do it's thing.

[BainsBane]

30. I would submit we have a responsibility

as women to help our partners understand what works for us. Part of that is empowering women to believe they have a right to speak up for their own sexual satisfaction.

[upaloopa]

31. I agree 100%. But one of the problems

is that before that woman comes along the guy acts on his level of understanding many times not knowing there is something to learn. I can still remember the first female that taught me. I am now 66 and grateful we met when I was still young enough to use the information.

[Tumbulu]

32. I predicted this 30+ years ago

When I saw Swedish porn in West Africa. Not something I wanted to see, but it was a weird thing, all these movies for the Swedish and British tourists. Anyway, sex was pretty new to me then, but the fiction of women having orgasms so easily coupled with the portrayal of really painful poses as stimulating made me come to this conclusion. Boys and men would believe these constructs and so would young girls.... Inexperienced people would use these films as a way to educate themselves..., oh goodness, what a mistake for all of us. I do not want to contemplate how violent porn must be planting the seeds of abuse in the hearts of the youth. I want all guns and porn elliminated from the public commons.

[geek tragedy]

33. The difference between men and boys.

Men care for their partner's experience and pleasure as much as they do their own, if not more.

And, yes, there are 70-year old children out there in this regard.