Welcome to DU!
The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards.
Join the community:
Create a free account
Support DU (and get rid of ads!):
Become a Star Member
Latest Breaking News
General Discussion
The DU Lounge
All Forums
Issue Forums
Culture Forums
Alliance Forums
Region Forums
Support Forums
Help & Search
History of Feminism
Related: About this forumThe problem with Dove's real beauty
This is more like it.
It's a radical change to make but what we really need is for superficial bullshit to stop being considered so damned important.
Bit hard to do that when the way a woman looks has been held up as her most important characteristic for thousands of years. Still though, you have to start somewhere.
...
In the video, one woman speaks about how her mother always criticised her chin, so believes it to be unattractive. She's then reassured that, actually, her chin is lovely. That's touching, but I can't help but think this: I have a birthmark above my right eye. Some people hardly notice it; some people think I'm beautiful; some people do find it ugly. I know this because it's my own face. It's my own lived experience which has taught me that lots and lots and lots of people do think that. I'm not imagining it. As a teenager, I was told how ugly I was every day by my peers. I've lost count of everyone who's kindly since told me: that's awful, because, hey, actually you're pretty. And, yes, that's lovely, but the thing is, that isn't the reason it's wrong to devalue or dehumanise someone because of a physical characteristic. Lots of people will still think I'm ugly. Lots of people will think that woman in the video has a horrible chin. It isn't the point. The point is that those people think they are entitled to define our worth that way - and that's the dangerous part we internalise.
...
It's easy to tell conventionally beautiful women that most people think they're conventionally beautiful. What do you tell someone who asks: "But what if it's simply true; that in lots of people's eyes, I really am ugly?" I feel like whoever wrote the Dove beauty advert was avoiding the eyes of my teenage self, and hundreds of others, as we asked that. They could have answered: it doesn't matter. Instead, they made a whole advert telling us how much it matters.
There's something very unhealthy about the narrative of 'women are our harshest critics.' I'm not mine. And it's insulting to be told, however kindly, that the problem is in my own head. You can't tell a person who simply is being told that they're ugly in the eyes of heaps and heaps of people - whether its TV shows, comedians, their classmates, 'lads' and their nonsense banter - that they're just, bless them, incapable of interpreting other people's actions .
I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather be told, yeah, that's true; lots of people think you've got a silly chin. Who cares? You're awesome. I think men with insecurities about their looks would be more likely to be told that who they are is valuable, and how they look is just one part of that, and what another person thinks of how they look is only one part of that. Like this brilliant post-bullying video. That video made me feel good about myself, and not just because it told me I was beautiful or that any flaws I have aren't really a big deal. It speaks to both women and men, and it talks about you as a person, not whether your chin is a funny shape or not. I guess the problem is that it doesn't make me want to buy things.
http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2013/04/the_problem_wit_1
In the video, one woman speaks about how her mother always criticised her chin, so believes it to be unattractive. She's then reassured that, actually, her chin is lovely. That's touching, but I can't help but think this: I have a birthmark above my right eye. Some people hardly notice it; some people think I'm beautiful; some people do find it ugly. I know this because it's my own face. It's my own lived experience which has taught me that lots and lots and lots of people do think that. I'm not imagining it. As a teenager, I was told how ugly I was every day by my peers. I've lost count of everyone who's kindly since told me: that's awful, because, hey, actually you're pretty. And, yes, that's lovely, but the thing is, that isn't the reason it's wrong to devalue or dehumanise someone because of a physical characteristic. Lots of people will still think I'm ugly. Lots of people will think that woman in the video has a horrible chin. It isn't the point. The point is that those people think they are entitled to define our worth that way - and that's the dangerous part we internalise.
...
It's easy to tell conventionally beautiful women that most people think they're conventionally beautiful. What do you tell someone who asks: "But what if it's simply true; that in lots of people's eyes, I really am ugly?" I feel like whoever wrote the Dove beauty advert was avoiding the eyes of my teenage self, and hundreds of others, as we asked that. They could have answered: it doesn't matter. Instead, they made a whole advert telling us how much it matters.
There's something very unhealthy about the narrative of 'women are our harshest critics.' I'm not mine. And it's insulting to be told, however kindly, that the problem is in my own head. You can't tell a person who simply is being told that they're ugly in the eyes of heaps and heaps of people - whether its TV shows, comedians, their classmates, 'lads' and their nonsense banter - that they're just, bless them, incapable of interpreting other people's actions .
I don't know about you, but I think I'd rather be told, yeah, that's true; lots of people think you've got a silly chin. Who cares? You're awesome. I think men with insecurities about their looks would be more likely to be told that who they are is valuable, and how they look is just one part of that, and what another person thinks of how they look is only one part of that. Like this brilliant post-bullying video. That video made me feel good about myself, and not just because it told me I was beautiful or that any flaws I have aren't really a big deal. It speaks to both women and men, and it talks about you as a person, not whether your chin is a funny shape or not. I guess the problem is that it doesn't make me want to buy things.
http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2013/04/the_problem_wit_1
InfoView thread info, including edit history
TrashPut this thread in your Trash Can (My DU » Trash Can)
BookmarkAdd this thread to your Bookmarks (My DU » Bookmarks)
2 replies, 995 views
ShareGet links to this post and/or share on social media
AlertAlert this post for a rule violation
PowersThere are no powers you can use on this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
ReplyReply to this post
EditCannot edit other people's posts
Rec (3)
ReplyReply to this post
2 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The problem with Dove's real beauty (Original Post)
redqueen
Apr 2013
OP
MadrasT
(7,237 posts)1. As long as the narrative is still about appearance
it is a failed narrative
That being said - Dove is a beauty products company so what else are they going to do
I do not give a fuck what I look like and anyone else who wants to comment about my appearance can fuck right off
redqueen
(115,103 posts)2. Yep. Their main concern is their bottom line. nt