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Why The “Rape Girls” Are Speaking Out More women are coming forward with their rapes
Project Unbreakable’s Kaelyn Siversky, quoting her attacker.
Why The “Rape Girls” Are Speaking Out
More women are coming forward with their rapes and sexual assaults today than ever before.
Andrews, a 20-year-old exercise science student at Mobile’s University of South Alabama, paused. “I’m kind of a shy person. I was like, am I really about to do this? Is this really about to happen?”
She turned around, heading back toward Athens and the courthouse where reporters were waiting for her. Where earlier that day, 25-year-old Austin Clem — convicted of raping her at ages 18, 14, and 13 — had been sentenced to a mere two years of a “community corrections program,” dodging any jail time.
Reporters already knew Andrews’ name, but following a decades-old media tradition, they had identified her for months as Clem’s “former neighbor” or “teenage acquaintance.” Now, on her drive back to Athens, Andrews’ mother called. “You know this is putting your name out there,” she told her daughter.
“I know, mom,” Andrews said. “Everybody’s going to know what happened to me. Everyone I grew up with. All the teachers I had.”
The red-faced, teary-eyed mugshot of Clem, a father of three girls, had been the face of the story. Now Andrews, a sporty brunette with piercing blue-gray eyes, was its central figure, the “victim.”
She turned around, heading back toward Athens and the courthouse where reporters were waiting for her. Where earlier that day, 25-year-old Austin Clem — convicted of raping her at ages 18, 14, and 13 — had been sentenced to a mere two years of a “community corrections program,” dodging any jail time.
Reporters already knew Andrews’ name, but following a decades-old media tradition, they had identified her for months as Clem’s “former neighbor” or “teenage acquaintance.” Now, on her drive back to Athens, Andrews’ mother called. “You know this is putting your name out there,” she told her daughter.
“I know, mom,” Andrews said. “Everybody’s going to know what happened to me. Everyone I grew up with. All the teachers I had.”
The red-faced, teary-eyed mugshot of Clem, a father of three girls, had been the face of the story. Now Andrews, a sporty brunette with piercing blue-gray eyes, was its central figure, the “victim.”
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jtes/why-the-rape-girls-are-speaking-out
7 replies
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Especially for the reasons Bainsbane listed below. Though not a sexual assault - I was stalked and terrorized by someone I went out with on three dates. In the NJ group last week - I had to defend my position on "outing' dangerous men. The behavior is along the spectrum - and my stalker had been arrested twice before for sexual assault but the victims backed down. I wasn't lucky - I was loud and fought back. But that was MY choice.
When women have their "choice" taken away in such a horrific violation - we need to give them the choice as to what they feel comfortable with. My choice might not be another's.
And can I say - You
Rock Lydia
Cuomo! 
Lydia Cuomo, a 27-year-old Bronx schoolteacher, was raped by New York Police Department officer Michael Pena in 2011. He was convicted and sentenced to 75 years to life in prison. Cuomo later called it a “silver platter” of a rape case. But now she’s working with lawmakers in Albany to expand the definition of rape in New York. Pena pleaded guilty to attacking Cuomo, and the jury convicted him for making nonconsensual oral and anal contact — both criminal sex acts that carry the same sentences as rape. But the jury was hung on whether he vaginally penetrated Cuomo, the state’s definition of rape.
After passing a bill to change rape’s definition in the New York Assembly last year, Cuomo will continue her fight in the state Senate in January.
For Cuomo, putting her name out there — after the trial, first to Slate and then to the New York Daily News — felt like the only way to garner support for her fight in Albany. But it was also her way of becoming more than “the victim” or “the schoolteacher.”
“I really absolutely hated being referred to in the media without anyone ever actually talking to me. There was this awful feeling of watching someone dramatize your own story,” she said. “It shouldn’t be like that. This is not embarrassing, I never did anything wrong. I’m the girl who was raped … I’ve spoken to a lot of women who don’t feel comfortable coming forward, and I think that’s detrimentally sad. The more we talk about it, the more we change the conversation.”
After passing a bill to change rape’s definition in the New York Assembly last year, Cuomo will continue her fight in the state Senate in January.
For Cuomo, putting her name out there — after the trial, first to Slate and then to the New York Daily News — felt like the only way to garner support for her fight in Albany. But it was also her way of becoming more than “the victim” or “the schoolteacher.”
“I really absolutely hated being referred to in the media without anyone ever actually talking to me. There was this awful feeling of watching someone dramatize your own story,” she said. “It shouldn’t be like that. This is not embarrassing, I never did anything wrong. I’m the girl who was raped … I’ve spoken to a lot of women who don’t feel comfortable coming forward, and I think that’s detrimentally sad. The more we talk about it, the more we change the conversation.”
Congratulations to you for not being a silent victim.
It helped having a male A.D.A for a friend who had been stalked and had his bathroom window shot out by a female Fedral Marshall (he knew what it was like) - and a crew of Rochester Police officers I made contact with through him backing me up.
It also helped that I had interned for my Congress woman - and had highly visible parents/family in the community.
How many victims of cruel human beings don't have that support and remain silent?
The woman before me was a student at the Rochester Institute of Technology - she was deaf. I think she felt marginalized and like she couldn't effectively communicate with the authorities. She was not one of the rape victims - but what he did to her for a year? She was strong and brave and backed me up.
Female or Male - we have to back each other up.
When we have discussions about rape and it's horrors - violence, intimidation, and fear - we have to back each other up.
For those who wish to come forward - I have their backs. And for those who don't wish to come forward - I bet they have our backs and are thankful someone just a little bit stronger internally and with external support are speaking out.
The thing here is - so many victims don't have support and don't have people who say - you did nothing wrong. HE is the criminal. Him. He did it. Not you.
And if the media outs that one person - I fear for her heart and very soul.
Law and order types who won't prosecute when a victim acts like a typical victim--i.e., didn't file a complaint for a week and was scared. Happens to be a FEMALE District Attorney.
Gotta protect the good old boys.
