Authoritarian parenting and sexism/misogyny: is there a correlation?

[YoungDemCA]

snip:

Authoritarian parents have high expectations of their children and have very strict rules that they expect to be followed unconditionally. According to [Diana] Baumrind, these parents "are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation." People with this parenting style often utilize punishment rather than discipline, but are not willing or able to explain the reasoning behind their rules.

Characteristics of the Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parents:

Have strict rules and expectations.

Very demanding, but not responsive.
Don't express much warmth or nurturing.

Utilize punishments with little or no explanation.

Don't give children choices or options.

The Effects of Authoritarian Parenting

Parenting styles have been associated with a variety of child outcomes including social skills and academic performance.

The children of authoritarian parents:

Tend to associate obedience and success with love.

Some children display more aggressive behavior outside the home.

Others may act fearful or overly shy around others.

Often have lower self-esteem.

Have difficulty in social situations.

http://psychology.about.com/od/childcare/f/authoritarian-parenting.htm

Perhaps there is a positive correlation between authoritarian parenting styles and (at least, more obvious) divisions within families between the father's authority and everyone else (the mother, the children) lack of authority?

[BainsBane]

1. I'm not sure

I definitely had authoritarian parents. I don't think they were particularly sexist, however. My mother is strongly pro-choice, emphasized (demanded) high educational success, taught me about birth control at a young age, and insisted that being a woman didn't depend on having children. All that sounds great, and it is. It was the stuff you list above that wasn't so great.

[YoungDemCA]

3. Interesting

Of course, if there was a positive correlation, that by no means is indicative of a strict rule. There would still be plenty of exceptions.

[zazen]

2. at least in two ways: assoc with fundamentalism, assoc with battering

More recently the whole John Rosemund thing has been real big in Promise Keeper/fundamentalist households. There's a hierarchy, with the Dad at the top, the Mom reporting to Dad, and Mom in charge of the kids. As odious as that can be, if it's followed from a position of greater detachment and less rage, at least it's predictable for the kids, who can one day grow out of it.

The violent authoritarianism--really, it's not a conscious philosophy so much as a state of abusive chaos into which control freak alcoholics and batterers will naturally fall--is much worse for kids. That's the kind where the mere fact that one's child is a human being with a perspective, a subjectivity, separate from the crazy parent means that child has offended that parent. Either the nutzo parent goes around looking for a scapegoat (or the battered spouse tries to get the kids to "behave" before Parent 1 goes nuts), or the child by just being human and having these selfish things like basic needs, will trigger crazy-Parent to bark orders, "punish," verbally abuse, destroy personal property, isolate them from anyone who can help, that sort of thing.

I hope this article doesn't conflate the two.

Alcoholism can be separate from or intertwined with battering. Most batterers are men but moms can be abusive and authoritarian parents, either because they're narcissists, alcoholics, or otherwise abusive whether in relationship to a batterer or because of their own upbringing.

Females in an overall patriarchal society who are raised by abusers are pre-trained to not comprehend when their boundaries are being violated by male partners in adulthood. Men may have that too, but there's not an entire cultural edifice of predators and institutions (plus the burden of having children) that make it so easy for them to fall into the role of victim. But it certainly happens.

[zazen]

4. PS: Authoritarian isn't authoritative

I believe and practice authoritative parenting. I saw too many harms over the past 25 years of the anything-goes parenting style, and believe that children need loving limits and should be respectful toward their elders, etc. The difference (one of thousands) between my childhood and theirs is that I say that they're allowed to feel anything they want and it's none of my business--they can hate my guts if they want---but how they behave is everybody's business.

Some of the parents I knew who were abused as kids were terrified to provide any kind of consequences for their kids' bad behavior, like that meant they're authoritarian monsters. I feel bad for them, but that's the price of parenting. You have to be willing to be the bad guy and tolerate their hating you sometimes. We're not helping them by enabling bad behavior.

But John Rosemond types seem to take glee in imposing limits on their kids. it seems more like a power trip than a difficult decision. That's where I get a little suspicious....

[redqueen]

5. Great posts, thank you. nt

[boston bean]

7. It is definitely a tight rope.

Children need a rock. They need limits and boundaries set. All different kinds depending upon age.

Some for safety, some for empathy, some for respect for others and themselves.

But they also need to be who they are within those boundaries. That is what a loving parent does and strives for.

[seabeyond]

8. there you go. difference. cause i have hard ass lines. i repsect the kid. i have always listened

to the kids.

i am clear why i make the rules i do.

they make sense. and that takes me a long way in parenting.

[YoungDemCA]

6. I agree with you re: fundamentalism

The authoritarian parenting style is strongly associated with the Religious Right. See: James Dobson for a prominent example of an advocate of it.

[mzteris]

9. Authoritarian parents

are frequently very religious - which of course believes that women ARE subservient and should be treated accordingly.

Or they're ex-military.

Or control-freaks. (And there may be a reason for that - trying to control the environment in an honest attempt to "protect" because of their own trauma. Doesn't excuse it, just explains it. Mental health, anyone?)

Or psychotic.

[ismnotwasm]

10. If that division is extreme, possibly

I think in a historical context, where women had few legal rights, and authoritarian parenting was more a norm, it most certainly probably played apart on a generational stage for modern sexism/ misogyny.

This has changed rapidly over the years, and today one could also argue the opposite, that overly permissive parenting lack the means to educate youth in gender inequities, and may also propagate sexism.

[zazen]

11. interesting point--when mass sexual self-objectification is cultural norm,

and one way kids are enticed into that through a range of social media technologies that parents have a hard time constantly policing, that permissiveness could more easily lead to becoming a perpetrator or victim (or both).

[Sarah Ibarruri]

12. I think there's a lot of truth in that. I read or heard that fathers who treat their wives badly

have sons that don't have a good opinion of women.