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(41,855 posts)
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 01:09 PM Aug 2019

My daughter married a MRA part deux,

Well you all, (is this thing on?) it’s been quite the ride. My soon to be ex-SIL, the MRA having been so unprepared and inappropriate in court, had several things to do to move forward with a parenting plan. Instead, he fucked around, and despite the love of loves he professes for his daughter, has not satisfied the court. So now he’s a victim, well, he always was, in his eyes, but my daughter brought my attention to this Facebook post, upon he says “I know what I’m going through” in response to a comment saying “not to believe every you hear”.

This is the YouTube post

I’ll save you the google search, The woman is a RW anti-feminist, anti immigration piece of shit. “Proud deplorable” whatevs. She’s Australian

My daughter, who really need to stay off his Facebook page is distraught because he’s calling her a liar. She has PTSD, has developed anxiety and is still terrified of this guy, who kinda comes across like a slightly stupid stoner. Almost gentle. There is about him, however, a creepiness that he can’t hide, so people tend to not like him or believe him. Maybe because he’s now 45 and now living in his parents garage, but I digress. My daughter begs me to respond, because I’m a Momma bear and she knows this. I reluctantly send this

So when my daughter, the most independent minded of all my children, including the ones that spent time in the military came running home to us, terrified and crying with her baby with stories of abuse she was lying? Is that what you are asking us to believe?

After we witnessed you so impaired you couldn’t stand, after our daughter begged us for 30 dollars for food because you spent your household money on pot? Or how I had to hear horror stories about your gaslighting, Or how she had to almost take you by the hand to get your drivers license reinstated at what, 43 years old? It To make sure you drove with insurance? After she explained your work history? I’m supposed to think she’s LYING?

All you need to to is step up. Face yourself and quit trying to be a victim Get a job. Get a place to live that’s safe. Don’t use drugs excessively. Be an adult. That’s it. That’s all. Bare minimum requirements of adulting.

We are waiting. You are a grown man. Act like one.

Which he immediately, and I mean with a quickness, deleted. I lulzd.

While the court action has stalled, and soon-to-be-ex SIL is playing MRA victim, my daughter has moved on. She reconnected with a childhood sweetheart, whom, just like a romance novel, has loved her for years. He has an education. He has an exceptional job. He is gentle with her and my granddaughter. He is moving slow, giving them time. When I see what she had waiting in the wings compared to to the Most Useless Person I have ever met, my brain scream WHY...

Who knows why we make relationship mistakes. I know the MRA pretended to be something he wasn’t, and my daughter, who tends to accept people just as they present themselves, never thought he was misrepresenting himself. A rough lesson to learn. I love the openness of my daughter, I get angry when I think someone took advantage of it..

And here we are. MRA’s live in a psychological anus, covered with diseased shit that can’t even be used as fertilizer. The whole “philosophy” does nothing but cause harm. And all the petty little offshoots, Neckbeards, incels, Nice guys—all names for misogyny. That’s it. It manifests in different ways, but hatred of women is what drives them
10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My daughter married a MRA part deux, (Original Post) ismnotwasm Aug 2019 OP
Recommended. guillaumeb Aug 2019 #1
Thank you ismnotwasm Aug 2019 #2
What is an MRA? AJT Aug 2019 #3
Men's rights activist. Tech Aug 2019 #4
Thank you. I was about to ask the same thing. PoindexterOglethorpe Aug 2019 #7
They were bigger a few years back but more tightly organized now ismnotwasm Aug 2019 #5
The why can't be answered mercuryblues Aug 2019 #6
True ismnotwasm Aug 2019 #8
I'm glad he is soon to be ex. brer cat Aug 2019 #9
What a shame sammythecat Nov 2019 #10


(42,641 posts)
1. Recommended.
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 01:13 PM
Aug 2019

My youngest daughter had a similar story.

Best of luck for your family in dealing with this and the after effects.



(25,578 posts)
7. Thank you. I was about to ask the same thing.
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 04:17 PM
Aug 2019

Even a Google of MRA doesn't show that on the first page.

I wish people wouldn't assume we all know every possible acronym.


(41,855 posts)
5. They were bigger a few years back but more tightly organized now
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 01:48 PM
Aug 2019

Last edited Thu Aug 29, 2019, 06:43 PM - Edit history (1)

Basically a reactive group against feminism. They think things like rape statistics are bullshit, that women need to be classically ‘feminine’ all kinds of crap.

Rational wiki has a decent page

The men's rights movement (MRM), also known as men's rights activism (MRA), masculism, or "The Men's Human Rights Movement",[2] is a fringe movement which espouses the view that social, legal, and economic discrimination against males is present in society to the extent that fighting it deserves an organized effort mirroring that of feminism, and crucially, that any and all variants of feminism do society and the individual far more harm than good.

There are two distinct age ranges for Men's Rights Activists: group one consists of adolescent boys aged 12-16, and group two is mainly inhabited by young adult males in the early 20s to late 30s range. The most prominent MRA media and literature consist of memes circulated on sites such as iFunny or 4chan, as well as YouTube channels run by fundamentalists or, unfortunately, New Atheists.

Based on their insistence that men are held back by women at least as much as women are by men (if not more so), combined with a general adherence to neo-reactionary strains of anti-progressivism within the movement, MRAs hold the entirety of modern feminism to be an inherently unequal attempt to worsen the "already equally unfair" balance of rights and responsibilities between the sexes by selfishly putting women even further ahead. The question then becomes why in the world anyone in their right mind, today living, would willingly call themselves a feminist (especially if they're male!) when the perfectly good (and clearly much more egalitarian) label of MRA is — as far as society is concerned — just sitting out there in the barn doing nothing?

The MRA narrative explains this obvious plot hole as the devious result of a long-standing propaganda campaign — directed at the masses from various ivory towers — by a chaotic-evil radical intelligentsia. To support this overtly conspiratorial view, the crankery of various fringe radical feminist cliques (such as the TERFs) are nutpicked and presented both as "what your next door feminist actually believes" and as a necessary end goal to the entire project of feminism.

The MRA membership is primarily male, though some females also identify with the movement and are sometimes known as "fMRAs" or "feMRAs". These few women are naturally held up front row center as walking proof that the MRA movement really is everything feminism claims to be.[note 1] While the MRM might bill itself as a progressive movement and a rational reaction to the excesses of third-wave feminism, its demonization of female rape and DV victims mixed with its thorough cross-pollination with reactionary movements make it nothing but a Trojan horse to roll back protections for women under the guise of fighting male oppression.



(14,403 posts)
6. The why can't be answered
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 03:13 PM
Aug 2019

So look at it a different way. Your daughter knows the full value of a man who is even tempered and endearing. A man who will lift her up and not tear her down.

brer cat

(24,035 posts)
9. I'm glad he is soon to be ex.
Thu Aug 29, 2019, 05:03 PM
Aug 2019

These perpetual victims are generally too self-absorbed to be in a relationship with anything other than a blow-up doll.


(3,567 posts)
10. What a shame
Tue Nov 12, 2019, 10:35 PM
Nov 2019

Here's hoping your daughter and this adult guy can make a good go of things and have a happy and peaceful life together.

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