Mommy vs. media in sexualization of girls: Where are the dads?
An article on AlterNet about sexualization of young girls concluded “Mothers are a strong predictor — even more than the amount of media consumption alone — of whether a girl will regard herself as a sex object.” But I couldn’t help but wonder: What role do fathers play in their daughters’ sexualization?
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The new study reported on in the article focused on the media/parent divide within heterosexual, two-parent families. Using a set of two papers dolls — one dressed provocatively and the other dressed conservatively, yet fashionably — it gauged 60 young girls’ preferences to appear “sexy.” The girls, aged 6 through 9, overwhelmingly labeled the sexy doll as the more popular doll — the doll they’d most like to look like.
Some researchers argued that if children are predisposed to sexualization by their mothers, they will be more likely to accept and recreate sexual trends glamorized by the media. Others argue that the media’s omnipresence will inevitably turn young girls into sexualized creatures; it is up to the mothers to be role models for their daughters and help them develop a sense of media literacy if they are to “escape” the trend of sexualization. That sounds like a lot of responsibility to place on one parent alone. Where are the men in this picture?
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But don’t fathers’ behaviors have an equal impact? Fathers who sexualize and objectify women suggest to their daughters that doing so is acceptable by society at large. Fathers who respect women, who refrain from consuming media that represents women as sex objects and little else, are just as valuable as mothers who discourage such objectification.
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I agree very strongly that the way fathers behave and react toward media messages about women, and toward the women in their lives, has a huge impact on the way daughters perceive the importance of and the reasonable expression of their own sexuality.
= new reply since forum marked as read
(when she first started talking about her friends "dating" ... what parent allows their child, male or female to "date" at 12?) that I was going to be her first date ... because I wanted her to have something to use as a comparator.
On her 16th Birthday, she had her first date ... with me. We went to dinner (pizza) and a movie (a "chick flick"
... I didn't want to set the bar too high!
But I arrived at the house to "pick her up" at 6:00 p.m., the time I told her that I would arrive.
I walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. And when her Mom answered the door, I introduced myself and engaged her Mom in conversation.
When my daughter entered the room, I stood up and complimented her on her outfit.
When we prepared to leave, I told her Mom where we planned to go and asked what time my date was expected home. I, then, wrote down my cell-phone number and promised that if anything was to change, I would call before changing our plans.
I opened the door for her and led her to the car, opening her door for her.
On the date, I paid for everything ... because I asked her out.
At the end of the date, I walked her to the door, gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek and waited until she was in the house and the door closed before I went back to my car.
When I got back to the house, I told BabyGirl that if the kid that she planned on dating could not or would not treat her as I had, she should keep looking.
She just turned 17 and has not had a one on one date yet. Her reason ... the boys she knows are jerks.
One more thing, it is the agreement between my wife and me, that it is her job to "befriend" BabyGirl's friends; it is my job to put the fear of god in them.
but yes, i talk to both children openly, so the boy will have respect also
I have an older son from the prev marriage who is 20 this year, and his GF currently is his first longterm sexual relationship, I worry what will happen when they break up 
and yes, I agree about the importance of communication on all levels for both sides... My oldest was never forthcoming and I had a much harder time talking to him, so I worry about his emotional maturity a lot. With the younger ones I feel more able to communicate the ups and downs etc, rather than trying *just* to survive (the older one was 12 when we left the bad marriage, so he had the worst of it at that tender age)
My youngest son says now "I'm gonna be a great husband because I grew up with women around me and I know how you think" :0 oh are we in trouble when that charmer gets older! lol
I don't know where it started, but The Jerry Springer Show comes to mind as the icon of behaving badly in public for a bit of notoriety. 
Now, all of the 'reality' competition shows thrive on the drama of conflict. I think we have a generation or two, even, who have this need for drama & conflict in their lives because they see it on TV & in the movies.
Last week I had to go into the bank. I parked & was getting out of the car when another car roared into the spot next to me - well not quite, cuz I had my door open & he was driving so fast he almost rammed me. It was a very young couple & they were screaming at each other - screaming. As soon as the car came to a stop, he turned it off & jumped out. He started pacing beside the car, with extreme animation, all the while screaming - I presumed at her, although he was not looking at her. She, however, remained in the car, but was screaming at him. I could not tell what either was saying as they were screaming over each other.
I hustled into the bank & when I was finished they were still there, now both of them out of the car, & at least yelling, now, instead of screaming. These kids don't have a chance if this is how they deal with conflict.
I had a few fights with my mom, but nothing like what I see in the media today. If I had taken attitude like I see some kids give their folks, well, it's a good thing I liked my room cuz I would have been sequestered there for a very long time without privileges!
Those women were just being sexxxy and empowerful!
Surely that's not a bad thing!
Or maybe only single or childless women are allowed to be sexxxy and empowerful. 
Seriously though, I agree those women have completely bought into the idea that all their worth is in their looks. And they see nothing wrong with allowing their daughters to follow in those footsteps as early as society deems appropriate.
And as Scout pointed out above, the dads involved likely have no problem with any of it.
