Elder-caregivers
Related: About this forumMy father passed away a couple of hours ago.
As soon as the phone rang at 12:30 at night, I suspected it, and then saw it was from his care facitility. He'd had an ankle sore that that had gotten very bad in the last few weeks, and actually went to the hospital around a week ago, where they discovered it was infected with MRSA. He went back to the care facitlilty yesterday, and when I spoke to him a few hours ago I was shocked at how weak he sounded.
My mother passed away early last year on the exact date their 60th anniversary. Between missing her and not being able to have any visits because of COVID, the last year was very hard on him.
Woke my sister up to tell her, emailed all my friends and family. It's going to be a rough week.
CentralMass
(15,265 posts)DarthDem
(5,255 posts)May he RIP. Condolences to your family.
multigraincracker
(32,636 posts)Lost my dad 14 years ago. I felt a lot of quilt, thinking I could have something. I ask the doctor if there was anything I could have done. He told me no, your dad died of old age, not kidney failure. His words really helped me. I still miss him every day.
Rhiannon12866
(204,719 posts)Hang in there and know that you were there as much as possible. And be sure to take care of yourself, too.
madaboutharry
(40,187 posts)and to all those who cared for him and loved him.
Losing a parent is so hard.
May his memory be a blessing.
Cicada
(4,533 posts)Journeyman
(15,024 posts)that though they have passed I retain my memories, for truly, the only substitute for love is memory.
And should you find one day the memories become sparse, recall that the departed are best remembered if thought of in a context. In other words, think not of them but of specific incidents and occasions you shared with them, and in the memory of those seemingly mundane acts the life and love of those absent and missed will spring to your mind unbidden and remain with you untarnished by times passing.
Dial H For Hero
(2,971 posts)One memory that comes to mind immediately (I'm not sure why) is when we were river rafting in Costa Rica about ten years ago and he fell out of the raft. The river we were on was actually quite calm, he just stumbled and went into the water. No harm done and he was laughing as he swam to the nearby shore.
Just thinking on that made me feel slightly better.
I'm also reminded of a quote from (of all things) the recent series "WandaVision" on Disney+ from a week ago, when Vision says, "What is grief, if not love persevering?"
Generic Other
(28,979 posts)This has been such a hard time for so many. My deepest sympathy. Stay well and safe.
sarge43
(28,940 posts)Peace and comfort for you and your family.
Freddie
(9,256 posts)I had a similar experience, the 3 am phone call about my dad. Both my parents had long and difficult elder years. A friend, whose mother died at age 100 after a similar journey, told me some words of wisdom: dont remember them as the sick, cantankerous 90-something. Remember them as the vital healthy person they once were. Treasure those memories.
tblue37
(65,217 posts)Duppers
(28,117 posts)This must be terribly painful for you. Tell us more about him and the circumstances of his death when you're feeling up to it. And take care of yourself.
for your father.
PoindexterOglethorpe
(25,812 posts)On December 29 last year I got a call from a man identifying himself as Officer Brian (I never did catch his last name) from the Tucson police department, and I knew immediately why he was calling. Fortunately my sister was staying with me because I'd had a heart attack a week earlier. so I put Officer Brian on speaker phone. He told us that our brother who lived in Tucson had passed away. Our brother had been in declining health for some 20 years, so the news was sad, but not entirely unexpected.
I'm telling you this as a way of saying I understand. These things are not easy. I hope your sister and all the rest of your family rally around you. Even when a death is expected, the actual passing is a shock, I know. I can only offer this.
Even though we don't know each other, I'll say this. I love you and I wish you well.
ancianita
(35,932 posts)Love and hug each other through the sadness. Stay well and safe.
BigmanPigman
(51,565 posts)My dad died out of the blue two years ago so it was a shock but the passing of time hasn't helped me so far.
PatrickforB
(14,558 posts)My own father died 39 years ago, and not a day passes when I don't think of him at least once.
PatrickforB
(14,558 posts)perpetual light, and may your family be blessed with the memory of his love.
MiHale
(9,664 posts)Tanuki
(14,914 posts)a short space of time must be very tough, on top of the general stress of the pandemic. Please take good care of yourself in the days ahead. Your DU family is here for you at all times. ❤
JohnSJ
(92,061 posts)Lucinda
(31,170 posts)Maraya1969
(22,461 posts)ms liberty
(8,557 posts)mobeau69
(11,132 posts)gademocrat7
(10,644 posts)Take care, Dial H For Hero.
diehardblue
(11,001 posts)Soph0571
(9,685 posts)markie
(22,756 posts)Just_Vote_Dem
(2,793 posts)wendyb-NC
(3,302 posts)Take care of yourself, rest, reflect, spend time with your loved ones, I will hold you all in the light, to find comfort and well being in the midst of all you've been through. Peace.
essaynnc
(799 posts)snowybirdie
(5,219 posts)For your loss! May you and yours find peace.
Blue_playwright
(1,568 posts)Losing a parent is so hard. Take care of you.
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)sinkingfeeling
(51,436 posts)brer cat
(24,523 posts)louslobbs
(3,229 posts)for your loss.
niyad
(113,049 posts)luckone
(21,646 posts)TexasBushwhacker
(20,138 posts)NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)Dial H For Hero
(2,971 posts)Trueblue Texan
(2,419 posts)I'm late getting to this post, but sending my healing thoughts to you and your family.
Dial H For Hero
(2,971 posts)I arranged for a service yesterday (he'll be buried at Ft. Logan), today I'll contact the Navy so he can have military honors. I still need to got to the post office (they give flags for the funerals of veterans).