I love Bob, but I don't know if I want to marry him.
On one hand it's very romantic the whole idea of commitment and death do us part. But, on the other hand Bob, seems very impractical. On our own we just don't have a whole lot to sustain us and you can't live on love alone. But, Bob is a hard worker I can see him going far and making friends in all the right places and you know the saying it's not what you know it's who you know.
Of course there are alternatives to marrying Bob. I flirted with the idea of dating Bob's cousin once. It was a disaster, Bob's cousin constantly talked about war and crushing enemies and bringing people in poverty to heel when they reacted to a very bad situation in the worst possible way, with violence. I could dig the idea of criminals going to jail and not going easy on sentencing violent criminals I really could. I don't like violence and I don't like how it destroys communities. But, it was inhumane the way Bob's cousin talked about these things and there was never any discussion on how to create opportunities for youth so that they wouldn't feel so much despair. Instead Bob's cousin would talk about hard working people to divert away from that subject, I got the subtext and it left me disenchanted to say the least. And the lying, oh my gosh the lying money would seem to come from out of no where and when I asked about it Bob's cousin had no idea who was giving him such lavish sums of money and said "Don't impugn my integrity." So, I just left it at that and thought. I really need to think about going with Bob at this point.
I guess I don't have to marry either of them. I could become a more independent person and just play the field and hook up with who ever appeals to me at the moment. I am not really that kind of girl though. I like long term relationships. I like knowing what my partners stand for and being able to with some accuracy say what they are likely to do and what they absolutely will not do. I am not even sure I can count on Bob, but he is sounding very attractive right now. The option of moving away from both of them is open though. There are greener pastures from what I have heard. I have been warned though it's kind of a wilderness out there and there aren't a lot of people to party with in that neck of the woods, that an infrastructure would have to be built before any kind of civilized living would be achieved. So, I just don't know if I have that kind of pioneer spirit. I guess it would be kind of lonely, but that's what social media is for right? I mean if I can't marry Bob and I get lonely there are other people who would feel lonely too right? We could all talk about it and then maybe our neck of the woods could have a lot more people coming to our party. Maybe build some cabins and talk about a future where we don't feel the need to bring people to heel and we feel more like creating a world where people don't feel so much anger and despair. A world where war is only a act of necessity and not an act to create business opportunities. Maybe we could create a the world I thought I lived in. That world was America the Free. It turned out to be an illusion, but I would really like it if it turned into reality.
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