TRUMP DEVOURED BY GIANT ALLIGATOR AT FLORIDA GOLF RESORT

AP - Former president Donald Trump was dragged by a large alligator into a water hazard near the 10th hole of one of the Doral Golf Resort's four courses, and apparently was mostly eaten. His partner, Senator Lindsey Graham, did not directly witness the attack, having obediently turned his back while Mr. Trump moved his ball, but he reported having seen a golf shoe disappear into the water along with the alligator's snout. Senator Graham stood by the edge of the water and squealed while a caddy poked ineffectually at the alligator with a nine-iron; subsequent rescue attempts recovered only a belt buckle, a red MAGA hat and shreds of a badly-soiled XXX pair of boxer shorts.