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HAB911's Journal
HAB911's Journal
January 11, 2018

Pythons, Iguanas, and now

Poo From Monkeys In Florida Carries Herpes Strain That Can Kill Humans

Wildlife officials have called for the removal of the free-roaming rhesus macaque monkeys from Florida after a research found that almost 30 percent of them in the state might be excreting a strain of herpes — herpes B virus or macacine herpesvirus 1 (McHV-1) — that could be life-threatening for humans.

Scientists found that a large number of the rhesus macaques in Silver Springs State Park were not just carrying the virus — which is common in the species — but had the virus in their saliva and other bodily fluids.

The forebears of the macaques, which are native to Asia, were brought to Florida in the 1930s — at a time when the Tarzan craze was prevalent in the state — in a bid to boost tourism.

About 175 monkeys roam freely across the park in Ocala, however, they have also spread to other parts of the state including Sarasota, and Tallahassee city.


January 7, 2018

Trump I.Q. Test

Welcome to the TRUMP™ I.Q. Test. It’s the hardest test in the entire world, and Barack Obama couldn’t take it ’cuz he was too scared, and because you have to be American to take it. Please answer the questions below to the best of your ability or Lady ability.


January 3, 2018

Vermonts Only Nuclear Button Measurer Finally Gets the Call

RYEGATE – Although many Americans have expressed concern over the president’s latest controversial tweet, one Vermont business is breathing a sigh of relief as they cater to their first official customer. Gabe Michaels, who started “Lazy Gabe’s Nuclear Button Measurements” in Ryegate over six years ago tells reporters that he is thrilled to be vindicated after all this time.

“They told me it was a stupid idea,” Michaels said early Wednesday morning. “My wife in particular said I was just being lazy, which is why I named the company ‘Lazy Gabe’s.’ But I told her, honey, we only need one customer, and then it’s all worth it. And now we actually have two customers.”

Michaels officially registered the business back in 2011, and offers only one service, the measurement of big red nuclear buttons. According to the company’s website the fee for a button measurement is twenty-five million dollars, and Michaels says he was never worried about the price.

“Heck no, the government’s always paying way too much for stuff. I think the army pays like a million bucks a toilet seat or some such, and all I needed was to measure one button, and then I could retire. I’ve been right here on this couch, waiting for that call, and last night I finally got it. The president himself called me up, and I’m heading down to D.C. this afternoon to measure his button for him. And actually we’ve got two clients now. Some nice Asian lady named Kim something-or-other called me up and asked me to come measure a button in one of them Koreas. Course I’ll be at the White House, so I hired my cousin to do that one. Paying him twelve bucks an hour, minus the cost of the measuring tape.”


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Gender: Male
Hometown: Atlanta, Gerogia
Home country: USA! USA! USA!
Current location: Tampa, Florida
Member since: Wed Sep 7, 2016, 05:45 AM
Number of posts: 8,530

About HAB911

Alias - HABanero(passion) E-9-1-1(career, retired telco engineering) HHC 3rd Bde, 2nd Inf Div, Korea DMZ HHC 197th Bde, 3rd Army, Ft. Benning Ga

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