My (ridiculously cheap) alternative to The Wall.

Arrest the people who hire undocumented workers. It's just that simple.

Let the punishment fit the crime. Did you and your wife hire an undocumented nanny because you both have to work full-time? We understand. That's 40 hours of community service for you. Thanks for helping to clean up our nation's beautiful highways on the weekends, and don't let it happen again.

Are you a builder who hired a crew of eight undocumented laborers to help you build homes? Well, that's a little more serious. Thirty days in jail for you. Spend your month contemplating the idea that crime does not pay.

Are you the owner of a factory who knowingly hired 100 undocumented workers in your operation? Oh, wow. That's pretty bad. Six months in real, my-toilet-is-also-my-sink, prison is for you. May you serve as an example to others, and may God have mercy on your soul.

This would solve the "immigration crisis" overnight. Workers simply won't come here if there is nobody here hiring them. Even Bob and Madge, our dual-income parents, will think twice about hiring an undocumented nanny if picking up shattered beer bottles along Interstate 10 is in their near future.

You never, ever, hear this discussed in our mainstream media. Because the "immigration crisis" is bullshit. And The Wall is even more bullshit.