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nycbos's JournalWilliam Barr Reads "Moby-Dick," Finds No Evidence of Whales
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Attorney General William Barr has just read the classic American novel “Moby-Dick,” by Herman Melville, and found that the book contains “no evidence whatsoever of whales,” Barr stated on Tuesday.
The Attorney General issued his statement on the absence of whales in the Melville classic in a two-paragraph book report released to the news media.
“Those who read ‘Moby-Dick’ looking for whales will be sorely disappointed,” Barr wrote. “There are no whales here.”
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/william-barr-reads-moby-dick-finds-no-evidence-of-whales?fbclid=IwAR2zIp6q1O9ha9B1haTgXwHgcon8hf960ACWpD1rZD7mB0p8JdS7Xiurdms
Buttigieg campaign getting a Massachusetts boost from Grossman
When Pete Buttigieg gathers supporters this weekend in Indiana, the ascending 2020 contender will count among them a name very familiar to Massachusetts voters.
Steve Grossman, the former Democratic National Committee chairman and state treasurer, is endorsing the 37-year-old South Bend mayor for president, giving Buttigieg a well-connected ally in the donor-rich state.
Grossman said he will attend what’s widely expected to be Buttigieg’s formal campaign launch Sunday. The two-time gubernatorial candidate was a supporter and organizer for Hillary Clinton during her 2016 campaign, and has offered to begin raising money for Buttigieg’s campaign in Massachusetts, where fellow Democrat Elizabeth Warren is building her own 2020 operation.
“You would never hear me say a negative thing about Elizabeth Warren,” said Grossman, 73, a past Warren donor who praised her campaign as recently as February. “My concern is the future of the United States . . . and I think Pete has the capacity to be the beacon for an awful lot of people who really feel a deep, deep sense of concern.”
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2019/04/11/buttigieg-campaign-getting-massachusetts-boost-from-grossman/lIQcax0i192wQlJoTxikqO/story.html?event=event12&fbclid=IwAR350ACiQ0Ct9xpWZmhXGv9ScmBwIHyjTNj-67aYt4-yzdfzKBYssW4XrjY
I worked on Steve Grossman's 2014 for Governor. He is a good man. I don't know who I am supporting yet but Mayor Pete's stock just went up for me.
I have worked on campaigns in six states. I am originally from New York if you are wondering about the Yankees logo.
Christ May Have Benefited From Father's Influential Position To Gain High-Powered Role.
NEW HAVEN, CT—In a groundbreaking new report on one of the most revered figures in religious history, top biblical scholars published findings Monday that suggest Jesus Christ may have relied on the influence of His well-connected father, God, to land His powerful role as Lord and Savior to mankind.
Examining evidence from the Gospels, as well as recently unearthed ancient Christian and Gnostic texts, researchers at Yale Divinity School concluded that Christ’s close familial relationship to the Creator of Heaven and Earth likely contributed to His meteoric rise from obscure carpenter to high-level divinity, giving Him a leg up over candidates who may have been more qualified for a position within the Holy Trinity.
“The selection of Jesus to become the Messiah appears to be a clear-cut case of nepotism,” said noted theologian and report co-author Philip Baxter, who remarked that in first-century Judea, it was widely believed John the Baptist was the frontrunner to sit at the right hand of the Father. “Until the age of 30, Christ’s only employment had been as a laborer with His stepfather’s woodworking business. So we must ask: How does someone with no background in management suddenly get put in charge of a 12-apostle team? And how exactly does a person with no prior experience as a monarch get appointed King of Kings?”
“God likes to claim He moves in mysterious ways, but there doesn’t seem to be too much mystery here at all,” Baxter continued. “This looks like blatant favoritism.”
https://www.theonion.com/report-reveals-jesus-christ-may-have-benefited-from-fat-1833717521?utm_content=Main&utm_campaign=SF&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&fbclid=IwAR2e-ROHVhtDdlilM3t2hfc63MP_1g4ZXkQYMwAKt2QFBHQbAGaTux17Td8
Yes Minister explains the EEC (EU)
Given the circus of Brexit a little humor is needed.
I spent a semester studying the EU in Strasbourg. The commute from Brussels to Strasbourg is extremely inefficient and costs a lot of money.
Yes Minister -- Why Britain Joined the European Union
Given the circus of Brexit you have to ask why the UK wanted in originally.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself that the Yes Minister is a comedy.
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