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Profile Information

Gender: Do not display
Hometown: Maryland
Home country: United States
Member since: Tue Jan 10, 2017, 12:27 AM
Number of posts: 11,125

About Me

I was on DU for years as Underground Panther. I am 54,a non binary,demi asexual,transgendered person with a feline soul. I am a Satanist chaorder, ceremoniaI sorcerer. I despise republicans and thier"beliefs"and the crap they call a political platform. They are scumbags. I love cats I do many kinds of art,love history philosophy,magick, among many other things. I love to explore the unknown. I have a sweet black and white cat named Othello. I am Very glad to be back on DU.

Journal Archives

I am sorry for putting posts

That should be in the primaries group to GD. I thought the primaries group was for official stuff and announcements for the primary,not a discussion group.

I did not understand which group to post in.

Thanks you Duers for steering me into the correct group for certain posts.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 11:30 AM (4 replies)

Tweaking about Bernie's health

That asshole dick Cheney had a few heart transplants and a pump for a heart while in office. It didn't kill him. That bastard is still alive.

I'm sure Bernie will get top notch care. And he will most likely be okay. Cheney's implanted hearts died and he got a pump implanted but nobody considered taking him out of office because of health reasons.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 12:54 AM (6 replies)

I'm so sick of people

Bashing Bernie.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 24, 2020, 12:22 AM (14 replies)

Yesterday was awful

Like usual I went to my program yesterday. It's a PRP.

There is a client there that is a toxic
Narcissist with lack of any empathy.He lies, brags and basically tries to suck all the air out of the room. He is a vindictive abusive piece of shit.

The staff ,I dunno if they're lacking education or expertise.. but they let this monster of an asshole abuse people he targets.

Yesterday he targeted me.He targets me alot because he sensed correctly I have a trauma history.

Another time he attacked me when he showed up was more subtle than yesterday but no less cruel to me. He kept talking about puke after I had a panic attack because I was scared when someone said they were sick and gagged a few times I was freaking out because I was trapped in the van. I have emetophobia. He does this kind of shit everytime he shows up. There is an obvious pattern in his behavior.

Back to what happened yesterday..
I was riding home on the van after program. I was in the the first big seat he was in the back seat.
Usually he's a really loud talker.

He was talking in the van and no one had interest in what he was saying apparently. Then he shut up. I was still talking to the other clients on the van not even thinking of him.Suddenly out of the blue he attacked me verbally,(I'm transgender/ they)

He called me It, I have been called It since 6th grade which was part of the torture chamber called school. It hurts me. He was claiming everyone at program calls me an It. He said alot of abusive shit .Doing deliberate provocation.

He was very cruel kept saying cruel shit at me.. I told him to shut up and he was verbal abusing me. As he hurled all this crap at me even more. I got triggered because I have been through a shitloads of abuse growing up . I was trying to stop the trigger he kept it going so I had enough and I called him a narcissitic piece of shit and that he is an asshole and to shut the fuck up once more.

He claimed I didn't know what a narcissist was.

I said yes I do, just by observing your stunning lack of empathy your verbal abuse and outright cruelty proves you're a narcissist.

By that time the van driver cranked the music.

He backed down for like 5 minutes.
Than he started the shit out of his mouth again.

I told him to shut up and to stop it.
He was deliberately using a lie that
I was interupting him as an excuse to attack me ,and he was seeking out my triggers on purpose.

He kept needling me all the way home. He was deliberately provoking me.

I don't want to leave the program. It helps me most the staff are decent. But if they don't rein this asshole in I will have to go. I can't take that shit it makes my illness worse.

But staff does not give him any real consequences for his behavior. I wish they'd kick his ass out. Program was good before he showed up. The pattern of abuse is glaringly obvious to me.

I would be beyond happy if he was kicked out of program forever.

I know some other people would be happy to see him go because they get his shit too. And some people that needed help have stopped going to program because of him.

He has the same case manager as I do,and he is not there for me.
I suspect my counselor wants to excuse his shit I think it's because of his beliefs to forgive. I have been trying to change counselors for like 2-3 years.

He told me on the phone when I called him because my coping mechanisms were not working yesterday,he implied he would not judge his behavior and implied I should forgive him after that? No I'm not ready to forgive that butthole. This is what I thought to myself as he appeared to tell me to tolerate his shit.

My counselor when he was director tried to slip religion into groups he has run. I called him out on it. I asked him in the group why does a psych program who gets funds from the state endorsing specifically christian beliefs? I am not christian and there are other non christians here they shouldn't have staff teaching religion when we are here to learn and help our illnesses,right?

Now the program does not insert religion in groups and Gary got demoted. Gary is a willfully ignorant fool IMHO. He too has a pattern of willful ignorance.

One of my freinds also left program because of this narcissist verbal abuse.He tore into her when I was out a rare time because I had gone to Virginia because my mom died last month. He targeted her because I was not there. Most clients don't stand up against him.

My friend she needs the program she gets really stressed out and goes to me for help.
There has been rapid turnover of clients because of him. I worry about the people who never show up anymore. I hope they're ok.

This asshole shows up the exact minimum days to stay in the program. But Everytime he shows up there is something abusive he does to someone. I go every Tuesday and Thursday like clockwork because program helps me handle my illness. It's helpful when he is not there. I never know when he comes in.

This creep lives in my apartment building too. He has only been here about a month .He has not been around when I go for my walks thankfully.

If he dares approach me and abuse me verbally like that outside of program, I will walk away first. If he follows me or threatens me I'll warn my landlord of his abusive behaviors.
If he hits me first he will wish he was dead.

What do I do in this situation?
Sorry about the wall of text.

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Wed Feb 19, 2020, 11:20 AM (10 replies)

Othello my cat

Just figured out how to post an image

Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 17, 2020, 11:22 AM (21 replies)

I am a cord cutter

And I have a mohu leaf antenna I bought 4-5 years ago.

As of around December I lost some channels and it pixilates often,sometimes less.

Certain times of day tv is unwatchable because of pixilization.

Do antennas get old and stop working? Do antennas ever need updating?

What antennas work better?

Do I need the anti interference thing?

I live in a second floor apartment.
My antenna is on a slight northern mostly east direction.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sat Feb 15, 2020, 12:46 PM (10 replies)


Why is there a republican party?

Why do we accept that a party of people who hate the government,hate 99% of Americans, who spend like crazy to hurt people and undo the social safety net are dangerous to our country? Republicans are elitist fuckers, they love to fuck over decent people. They want to destroy the government. They destroy everything they can politically. They try to push austerity when people are suffering financially.

Republicans are the ones who want slave labor ultimately. Republicans must lie to the people to win elections. They are Ogliarchic and they espouse social stratification always putting themselves on top.. They want feudalism .This behavior points to the fact the Republican party is incompatible with democracy, incompatible with our government itself.

So why do we tolerate such a false treasonous,destructive,financially abusive,anti government party of assholes?

I mean why is thier inherently anti government ,government destroying,cheap labor,austerity cater to the 1% bullshit allowed to be in the government's agenda at all?

Thier whole agenda amounts to normalizing cruelty,abusing Americans and the financial system and destroying our country from within. They are fascist.

They are an anti American party . So why don't people ask republicans what thier real purpose in government is? Look how they vote. If they hate the laws,hate government,hate the people, hate others freedom and Identity and actively seek undermine our constitution, why do we pretend they are even a legitimate party?

Why the fuck do people never ask why the fuck is republicans exist as a party for?

Why tolerate a party that makes life in our country miserable. Treasonous fucking republicans are not a legitimate party in America because of thier beliefs and agenda.

We don't need the republicans to exist and make this country better. Republicans don't want America to be better.. So why are they even a party if they can't deal with democracy? And chafe at the laws of our country. After all we are a country of laws,and lawbreakers are not a legitimate party.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Tue Feb 11, 2020, 04:00 PM (13 replies)

Something scary happened

These kind of events have been going on for the past two years,just being oblivious about what I am doing in a minor way compared to what happened yesterday.

Yesterday I ran my sink over. Water was pouring off the kitchen island to the floor. It was near electrical plugs. I was lucky my cat Othello alerted me on it. It so easily could have caused real damage and could have killed me and Othello.

What it's also scary is the sink flood was no more than 15 feet away from me where I was sitting I was unaware it was flooding.

Othello my sweet good boycat alerted me about it. It didn't register right away what was happening . Got up when I realized what I was seeing it took about a minute for me to realize what was happening.

Very slow reaction.

One of the plugs was flashing. I pulled them out of the wall immediately. I had to use 8 big towels to sop up all the water. Luckily there was no damage. That was scary.. other things similar to this situation happens sometimes . Like not realizing my blood sugar is low until it gets 40 or lower,that scares me too.

Am I just am unaware of stuff I am doing? Do I blot out things and now it's becoming a problem?

I have scarred temporal lobes. From trauma. Could that be messing with my executive functioning? I have a dissociative disorder and PTSD both . Has it gone from bad to worse? I dunno ,either way I am shook up about it.

I am so thankful and proud of my kitty Othello.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Mon Feb 10, 2020, 09:56 PM (12 replies)


Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sun Dec 22, 2019, 10:23 PM (0 replies)

Sad this group has no recent posts

Poverty less important than other topics I guess. Even though so many suffer from it.
Posted by I_UndergroundPanther | Sun Dec 22, 2019, 10:15 PM (6 replies)
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