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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 412

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #9-1: Hanging With Mr. Cooper Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #9-1: Hanging With Mr. Cooper Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everybody doing? Are you guys doing fucking good? I know, right? It’s hard to stay optimistic right now. Seriously, what the fuck happened? Remind me not to take any days off anymore. Shit, I take a vacation March 11th what happens? We get in the worst pandemic in a century. I take time off at our usual end of May break and what happens? Riots and protests! Come on 2020, what else you got? Shit, I know. We all had plans before the pandemic. Hell, I had plans to take the Top 10 international! We had shows lined up in the UK, Germany, France, Mexico, and Canada, all got squashed because of this fucking virus. And who knows what else is going to happen before the end of 2020? We also have hurricane season! We’ve had the virus, cannibal rats, blood monkeys, murder hornets, riots, floods, fires, small earthquakes… what else could possibly go wrong? I mean besides another four years of Trump? Well anyway now that I got that off my chest I am pleased to debut the new set! Unfortunately thanks to COVID we’ve had to eliminate things like sets, props, food, key grips, cameramen, bartenders, waiters and waitresses, lighting, backdrops, and our Trumper Games hosts’ humble man servant. But those things will be back! We’re slowly returning to full strength unless Trump does something stupid. Which he almost certainly will. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver explains police brutality in one of the most hard to watch Last Week Tonights of all time:

So where do we begin this week? Well normally we would catch up on stuff we missed, but since this is a year where nothing is normal, we are going to attempt to instead have a special two part edition of our series “So That Happened”. Where in the first slot we’re going to talk about the police-sanctioned murder of George Floyd, who died at the hands of abusive police over an alleged counterfeit $20 bill. In the second slot, we’re going to talk about the protests and riots (2) that are still going on. How long is it going to go on? We don’t know. It might still be going on. In the third slot this week is the guy who we still call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (3). He plans to restart his MAGA rallies next week, and he has picked a date that is sure to rile up both his white supremacist base and his detractors! At slot #4 we're going to introduce a brand new feature to the program, and we all know that there's a 50-50 shot that this will go well. And it's "Mutual Of Top 10's Wild Kingdom" (4) and the first part of our nature documentary series is going to be on the hunt for that most elusive genus of species of privileged white female known as the Karen! How do you spot a Karen in the wild and what can be done about it? In the fifth slot this week we have our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5), and we’re still in the middle of a pandemic in case you haven’t forgotten, and we’re going to take a look at a claim by Italian doctors that COVID is getting weaker, and is it? There might be some truth to this claim, or there might not. In the sixth slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor has to talk about the White House PR stunt involving St. George Church in Washington DC, and he might break his one rule to talk about that insane incident! Taking the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse”, and NASCAR (7) finally banned use of the Confederate Flag at events, but that hasn’t stopped the protesting debate! Taking the 8th slot this week, is the TV show Cops (8), and after finally getting canceled after 30 seasons, we’re going to ask the question “The Show Cops: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb, because a pandemic and riots haven’t stopped the biggest plague infecting the land – stupidity! Finally this week we’re beginning our journey on the Road To The White House (10!)! And for our first entry, could the 2020 election again be stolen? Even Joe Biden is making this claim! No, there won’t be any live music for the foreseeable future. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]So That Happened: The Death Of George Floyd
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That is a good question sir! You know, normally when the Top 10 takes a couple of days off, we like to play catch up with things that we missed. But there was so much that happened that it was near impossible to think that we could squeeze everything into two short entries. Or would we even attempt to make fun of the situation. Yes, we have to talk about the death of George Floyd, a man who, overnight, became the face of American police brutality, and widespread systematic racism. And like I said we will not make fun of the situation as that’s beyond our usual tomfoolery. But here’s what happened.

George Floyd's brother, Philonise Floyd, said on "The View" Tuesday that he believes "everybody is getting closer to justice" for his brother "because everybody's feeling united" in protests.

The demonstrations demanding police reforms and in support of Black Lives Matter have drawn thousands of people around the world in the weeks following George Floyd's death while in Minneapolis police custody on May 25.

"I just would like to thank everyone for doing so much in this world today. They're just tired right now. Enough is enough," Philonise Floyd said on "The View." "It's gonna be a marathon. But right now, everybody is getting closer to justice because everybody's feeling united. We're coming together as one."

"I'm just so proud right now just to see change in this world happening," he added.

Philonise Floyd also told the co-hosts that Derek Chauvin, the ex-officer who prosecutors say held his knee on George Floyd's neck for nearly nine minutes, and the three other officers involved in his brother's death “deserve life” in prison.

That is a good point! We’ve been cooped up here at the Top 10 Home Offices for so long we’ve forgot what it would be like to be part of a functioning society again. And remember when society used to function before COVID? Yeah that was like unleashing Skynet or Thanos snapping. When things go back to “normal” we will see a lot of our favorite businesses and places go bankrupt. And we cannot sustain another round of this. Especially when this happened.

Steve Mylett, the police chief in Bellevue, Washington, couldn’t believe what he was seeing, even after intelligence officers warned of social media posts calling for an attack.

On the afternoon of Sunday, May 31, a handful of demonstrators carrying signs gathered at a major intersection in the Seattle suburb. The crowd quickly grew to 40. Then, after two men got on cellphones, 300 more showed up, then 1,000 white, Black and brown.

“It was a tsunami of people, and they just started running,” Mylett said. “I didn’t hear George Floyd’s name once. I didn’t hear, ‘Police reform!’ They just scattered throughout the city. … They used tactics we’ve never seen before.”

Mylett said faux protesters, many dressed in black with hoodies, gloves and COVID-19 masks, ransacked shops and caused millions of dollars in losses. Some ran from one business to the next, trailed by vehicles that stopped outside high-end stores, loaded up, and moved on.

They came at us with pitchforks and torches. Torches!!!! And really people don’t use this time to loot and pillage. Join the peaceful protests. Maybe we can save the pillaging and looting for a later date. It’s like we’re living the end of the movie Joker – and Thomas and Martha Wayne have just been murdered and the city is rioting. But really, just don’t do shit like this. really, don’t do it.

The death of George Floyd in the hands of a Minnesota police officer while pinned down violently has certainly sparked outrage in the United States, which resulted in civil unrest as of late. However, things seemed to get out of control recently when the protests turned violent.

Criminal elements have taken advantage of the situation and photos of riots, vandalism, and looting within the US are now circulating online. One of the establishments robbed included a Louis Vitton store, and if you cringed at the sight of that, check out the photos of the Mercedes-Benz dealership in Oakland, California as hooligans laid waste on the luxury cars displayed there.

As seen in the videos and photos, numerous rioters broke into the dealership. The thugs started spray painting, wrecking and burning cars during the onslaught. Some of the premium cars seen in the images include the C-Class, CLA, and GLE. The most painful thing to watch though was the Mercedes-AMG GT Coupe getting set on fire.

While we couldn’t blame the heightened emotions of the people because of the injustices that their own law enforcement officers have committed towards them, especially to the black community over the years, and they certainly have the right to have their voices heard in the streets, there is no justification for destroying establishments and trumping others’ properties or businesses. Such acts only show that the rioters are no better than the oppressors that they are against.

We hope that everyone will arrive at a peaceful resolution with regard to the matter soon and that justice will be served to Floyd as well as the other victims of police brutality. Our hearts go with their families and the people who are sincerely sympathizing with them, but such barbaric and uncivilized actions being shown here have to stop now.

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[font size="8"]So That Happened: The Protests
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Much like Hector Salamanca from Breaking Bad, if you’re not marching in the streets protesting unprecedented police brutality and state-sanctioned murders all over the country, you’re probably sitting in front of your computer screen getting increasingly angry and clicking that bell, or your computer’s mouse. But the pandemic created a situation of some extremely bored people looking to gather to come together for a cause. And that cause was the death of George Floyd. We’re not even going to attempt to make fun of the situation here. So we won’t try. But instead we will talk about one group looking to start some shit – the Boogaloo Bois.

An Air Force sergeant who was arrested in the fatal ambush of a Santa Cruz County deputy was charged Tuesday in connection with the killing of a federal security officer during George Floyd protests in Oakland last month, authorities said.

Staff Sgt. Steven Carrillo, 32, was charged with murder and attempted murder in the killing of federal officer Dave Patrick Underwood, 53.

Underwood was one of two officers who were shot May 29 while guarding the Ronald V. Dellums Federal Building. The other officer was critically wounded in the drive-by attack. Both were members of Homeland Security's Federal Protective Service.

Authorities said Carrillo and a second man traveled to Oakland with the intent to kill police and believed the large demonstrations spurred by the death of Floyd in Minneapolis — which they were not a part of — would help them get away it.

"They came to Oakland to kill cops," said John Bennett, special agent in charge of the San Francisco division of the FBI.

Yeah so like I said last week, if you see these guys at your neighborhood protest, they’re not here to join hands and sing Kumbaya. And just like people with COVID, they’re very easy to spot. But this is really going to screw some shit up. We’re still in the middle of the pandemic. One that has killed over 100,000 people, and sent millions of people into bankruptcy. Think we haven’t seen some serious shit yet? think again! It is about to hit the fan!

Minneapolis city leaders outlined the actions they are taking in terms of recovery efforts related to civil unrest, systematic racism and COVID-19.Director of Economic Policy and Development Erik Hansen said that unemployment is currently having a larger impact on people who are young, black and without a high school degree.

"The outcomes of our structural racism system is evident in every aspect of the economy in Minneapolis," Hansen said.

Hansen said there are resources available for those who are impacted by the loss of employment due to the pandemic or civil unrest. Minnesota Works is available for career help. Another resource is the city's Technical Assistance Program, with community-based organizations that are ready for businesses to call them for advice.

Director of Economic Policy and Development Erik Hansen said at a Tuesday press conference that he was tasked with evaluating the damage of structures in the city. Poor advised owners of structures that were damaged to contact their insurance for help with coverage. He also reminded owners to check on their electricity and gas services since they may have been cut to prevent any accidents There will be a line for the zoning office that will be dedicated to answering people's questions on rebuilding damaged property. The phone number will be available on the city's website starting Wednesday.

Clean that up!! But there is good news. With all the bad shit that’s happening in the world, and we are in for a lot of suffering down the road after a major pandemic, there is a silver lining in all of this. It’s awakened some long sleeping beasts! People are hopping mad, we’re fighting back, and even small towns are awakening to how badly they’re getting fucked! It’s about damn time we rise up!

Two hours east of the unrest in Denver following the death of George Floyd, a newspaper editor and police chief heard rumors of buses, full of protesters from as far as Chicago, heading toward their farming community of Yuma after the town's pastor planned a road-side vigil in early June. Local businesses, and even the hospital, closed their doors in response. Some residents threatened to arm themselves with shotguns to protect the town from potential rioters. The town of about 3,500 people is less than 1% black.

"You know public displays like this are going to bring the rioters here," Stephanie Generoux wrote on a Facebook post from the Yuma Pioneer.

"Just so you’re all aware a hitchhiker earlier today in the southern part of the County trying to get to Yuma. Hope you are all ready for what you’re bringing" commented Rich Schafer.

In reality, about sixty locals arrived and stood silently, spaced apart, holding signs. No buses. No violence. Tony Rayl, editor of the Yuma Pioneer, said he knew almost everyone there and called it the most bizarre day of his life. The pastor of a local church said just the existence of the event polarized her congregation.

That said though in this weird new world that we’ve been navigating because of COVID and because of the social unrest going on, should we really call the protestors “rioters”? Well there’s a fine line between the two. Remember that if they’re there wearing Hawaiian shirts and looking to throw rocks at cops or fire their machine guns, they’re not there to join in arms against the oppressed.

As unrest has continued day after day and in town after town in the wake of George Floyd’s killing, a secondary skirmish has emerged: deciding how to describe what’s happening.

In speeches and newsrooms and social media posts, people have had to make choices about how to characterize widespread, evolving unrest. Are cities in the midst of uprisings? Rebellions? Riots?

“There’s kind of a war of words as to how we should understand what they’re doing,” says Heather Ann Thompson, a professor of history and Afro-American studies at the University of Michigan. Each term sends a vastly different message about precisely what is going on in America’s streets and why.

During his short speech in the Rose Garden on June 1, President Trump used some form of the word riot five times. And he’s not alone. At TIME’s request, the Oxford English Dictionary analyzed its corpus – including roughly 2,800 articles published between May 26 and June 2 – related to events that were spurred by the killing of George Floyd, to see how those events were being described in the media.

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[font size="8"]Trump Goes To Tulsa
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Pop quiz hot shot!! Say for a minute that you’re Donald Trump. There’s a killer virus that is invading and desecrating states that voted for you. Health advisory boards have shut down literally every large gathering in the country, and you want to hold a large gathering indoors! What do you do? And wrong answers only. Really? He picked the wrong answers? Of course he did, this is Donald J. Trump we are talking about here. He never errs on the right side of everything. Literally everything he does is the wrong answer to everything. And why not? What’s another 50,000 COVID cases and no hospital beds in case you do need them? Well, let’s take a look at what he wants to do. Hold your boos.

President Donald Trump this week pushed ahead with his plans to hold an indoor rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, even as public health officials there warned novel coronavirus cases in the area were on the rise.

As the president's reelection campaign came under fire for potentially putting thousands of people in danger during the Saturday event, Vice President Mike Pence attempted to paint a rosy picture of the pandemic in Oklahoma that contradicted data released by state and local public health departments there.

"Oklahoma has really been in the forefront of our efforts to slow the spread, and in a very real sense, they've flattened the curve," Pence told reporters at the White House Monday.

"Oklahoma is at a very low number," Trump said.

In fact, Tulsa had yet to shake the coronavirus pandemic, and the top public health official called an event like the rally "a huge risk factor."

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Really, Mike Pence is that guy. But my favorite part of this whole thing is that Trump’s campaign manager Brad Pascale, is making some absolutely batshit crazy claims about attendance numbers. You know, because Trump wants his audience and attendance numbers to be up.


So let me get this straight - 800,000 tickets for a 20,000 seat arena in a town with a population of 390,000? Is this some kind of new math that I'm not aware of? Is this Trump's idea of math? Or is this COVID's idea of math? Either way, Coronavirus likes this. But not everyone is on board with this idea, even the mayor of Tulsa.

For most mayors in deep-red states like Oklahoma, the prospect of hosting the first rally for President Donald Trump in months would be a delight. It would showcase the city on an international stage and draw revenue for local businesses that have been shuttered for months amid the coronavirus outbreak.

But G.T. Bynum, the first-term mayor of Tulsa, isn’t celebrating Trump’s planned rally Saturday at the city’s 19,000-seat downtown BOK Center arena. While other Oklahoma GOP officials are hailing the event, Bynum finds himself in a precarious position, balancing partisan politics, the city’s deep racial wounds and a COVID-19 infection rate that is suddenly spiking.

Trump announced the rally in Tulsa as the kick-off of a tour to rev up his political base and show the nation’s economy reopening after the long quarantine. Trump said in a tweet that almost 1 million people have requested tickets, although party officials haven’t announced the total. Oklahoma has followed a Trump-friendly aggressive schedule for its economic reopening, ticking through a series of phases that now have almost all businesses free to resume operations.

Yeah so this is what one might call a “really bad idea”. And I don’t even have time to cover the Juneteenth debacle – yeah in Tulsa on the Juneteenth anniversary. That is batshit fucking insane. Oh and in case you didn’t know it’s on the anniversary of the worst race riot in United States history. In the middle of the current worst race riot in modern history. Yeah do the math!

Before George Floyd, and before there were nationwide protests across the country against police brutality and racism, there was Terence Crutcher.
In 2016, 40-year old Crutcher was killed by a Tulsa, Oklahoma, police officer on a roadway. Like many of those left behind by police killings, his twin sister Tiffany Crutcher's life changed forever.

"We're twins, yes, three minutes apart. He came out first and he calls me his little big sister," Crutcher said in an interview with CNN. "I never thought that I would be on the other side of this issue.

"I never thought that we would be in the middle of a fight for justice, a fight for equality, fight for police accountability," she said.

The officer who killed her brother, Betty Shelby, was charged with manslaughter, but she was later acquitted.

Actually yeah that was pretty damn racist! So that was a good call on that one! So the question remains why not move Trump’s rally to an outdoor venue? Well that possibility is being talked about. The fact that Trump wants to hold these rallies in an indoor venue during a pandemic is alarming enough. But getting Trump to budge and move it outside? Well that’s something else entirely. Trump doesn’t budge for anything.

So many people have expressed an interest in attending President Donald Trump’s rally Saturday in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that the governor said he’s asked the campaign to consider a larger, outdoor venue to accommodate them.

Gov. Kevin Stitt said Monday after talking with Trump and Vice President Mike Pence that nearly one million people have requested tickets to the event. Some Trump supporters have already started waiting in line outside the 19,000-seat BOK Center in downtown Tulsa.

“We’re excited we’re being recognized as one of the first states to safely and measurably reopen,” Stitt told reporters Monday. “I’m looking for a potential other venue that maybe we could move it outside. It’s still kind of in the works.”

Stitt, who plans to introduce Trump at Saturday’s rally, said he also asked Trump and Pence to join him on a tour of the city’s Greenwood District, once home to a prosperous African American community dubbed Black Wall Street that was burned to the ground during a racially motivated massacre in 1921 that left as many as 300 people dead.

The Trump campaign initially planned to hold the rally on Friday, which is Juneteenth, a celebration of the end of slavery in the United States, but agreed to move the date to Saturday at the request of Stitt and others.

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[font size="8"]Wild Kingdom: Spotting The Karen
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Welcome to the Mutual Top 10’s Wild Kingdom! This week we are attempting to spot a rather elusive creature – the Karen! Yes, the Karen is that most elusive of creatures to spot. And you won’t recognize a Karen until after you have encountered one in the wild! If you don’t know what a Karen is, she is the most elusive species of a middle aged, privileged white female, which goes by the Latin name of Libidinem Dominandi, and you can spot them but not until after they spot you! And where was the most recent sighting of a Karen you might ask? Well why in that most urban of jungles, the concrete oasis known as New York City, New York. And this Karen was probably the most Karen of them all!

Before the general public learned the name of a white woman who called the police on a black man in Central Park on May 25, she could easily be identified by a moniker. The internet agreed with certainty that Amy Cooper was a Karen.

Just days later, another Karen went viral for leaning on a car in a parking lot to prevent the driver from getting their desired parking spot.

The "Karen meme," which has become so ubiquitous it's been used as a Halloween costume, burst onto the scene in the last couple of years to depict white women — who stereotypically had "speak to the manager" haircuts — acting entitled in public. Now, it's used as an identifier for any white woman who acts inappropriately, rudely, or in an entitled fashion.

"It's usually used as a pejorative for middle-aged white women," said Matt Schimkowitz, a senior editor at Know Your Meme, the online meme encyclopedia. "It's almost like they have an entitlement, where they're kind of lording their privilege over another."
Before the Karen meme, there was the "speak to the manager haircut."

No, that is not a Tiger, that is most definitely a Karen! And this is not so much Hanging With Mr. Cooper as it is hanging with privileged scumbags, and they are everywhere! But is the Karen meme sexist and why is the Karen so elusive to spot in the wild? In fact, the only way you can accurately spot a Karen is through the comfort of your iPhone. And you should try to catch the Karen before it is too late!

Lisa Alexander is “truly” and “deeply sorry.” Alexander, the CEO of a San Francisco skincare company, has become the latest white woman to be labeled a “Karen” and nationally vilified for engaging in behavior that’s widely viewed as entitled, racist and harmful.

But Alexander’s public apology Sunday might not stop the vilification. She issued her mea culpa after a video went viral showing her accusing a Pacific Heights neighbor, James Juanillo, of defacing his property because he used chalk to stencil a Black Lives Matters sign onto the property’s retaining wall.

As Juanillo’s video shows, Alexander and her husband, identified on Twitter as Robert Larkins, questioned whether he actually lived in Pacific Heights, one of San Francisco’s more exclusive neighborhoods. Juanillo, who is Filipino-American, said Alexander called police after he told her she should if she felt “unsafe.”

Over the weekend, Alexander went from enjoying a high-society life as an entrepreneur and celebrity style influencer to the latest example of a Karen. Like other recent Karens, Alexander has been extensively dragged on Twitter. After users quickly identified her and her company, the former model is dealing with serious, life-changing consequences in terms of her work and reputation.

First off, I would question why you have a live tiger in your life raft sir. But that said, when confronting a Karen in the wild, you must first take a step back and assess the situation, then make sure people around you are recording the incident with their cell phone device of choice. And then… when confronting the Karen, proceed with caution! Because it could lead to some untold nightmares that will last long after the incident is over!

A white woman was slapped in the face during a racist rant at a Phoenix gas station which included telling a Native American woman to “go back to Mexico.”

The woman was quickly dubbed “Arizona Karen,” a reference to a viral meme about racist white women.

According to the man who originally shot the video, the white woman stormed into the Shell station on Saturday to complain about her gas pump not working and almost immediately got into a shouting match with another woman, telling her "to go back to her country.”

“Native Americans are from this country,” the woman replies. “Don’t serve her racist a--,” she tells the cashier.

“Karen” then tells the man filming to stay out of the situation before turning back on the other woman.

“Where are you from? Where were you born?” she asks.

Again that’s a Tiger, not a Karen! So how do you spot a Karen in the wild? And do you know any Karens in your life that would make you afraid to leave the house? Make no mistake that as things are getting uglier in society, the Karen will attack and confront you before you can attack and confront her! But that being said let’s ask some real researchers to get their take on the Karen. The Karen is elusive and swift and won’t think twice before double crossing you!

We all know Karen. She is the minority of 30 to 40-year-old white women whose voice is loud despite how misguided and misinformed she is. She exudes entitlement and a superior “Can I speak to the manager?” attitude. She is unafraid to use her privilege as a weapon. In today’s context, she is audibly doubtful of any new COVID-19 research and public-health protocols, especially when her long-overdue salon appointment is at stake. And according to Heather Suzanne Woods, a meme researcher and professor at Kansas State University, Karen “demands the world exist according to her standards with little regard for others, and she is willing to risk or demean others to achieve her ends.” This definition continues to evolve.

The controversial stereotype of a woman named Karen has roots in African American Vernacular English as well as a tirading subreddit, and it has taken over internet culture in the form of a meme. Karen's notorious behavior is best depicted in viral TikTok videos, acting as a social commentary towards absurd and indecent behavior rooted in white supremacy. However, the use of this meme was quick to receive criticism on accounts of sexism, racism, ageism and classism. While writer Julie Blindel went so far as to call the meme a “slur” that is “woman hating” in a tweet, others even likened it to “the n-word for white women.” In the name of reverse racism and other baseless accusations, the meme continues to be attacked. And once again, the perfectly legitimate message this politicized joke was meant to express was underwhelmed by another fruitless debate.

The meme is simple: Karen-like behavior is problematic. It is problematic because it is a direct result of white supremacist sentiments that have long been deeply embedded within the current system. It is problematic because when authority gets involved, Karen is initially never at fault and is never doubted. And it is problematic because Karen knows this when she picks up the phone to dial 911 at the slightest inconvenience. In fact, just this past Memorial day, a Twitter video went viral revealing a similar incident in Central Park regarding a white woman calling the police on an African-American man who simply asked her to put a leash on her dog, telling them he was threatening her life. These kinds of false accusations to the police against Black people are extremely dangerous and have dire consequences as history has revealed time and time again, like in the case of Emmett Till. But Karen won’t think twice before racial profiling.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Is COVID Getting Weaker?
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Since the COVID-19 pandemic began this March, everyone is now asking the question – when will it end and when will life get back to some sort of normalcy that we have come to expect? Well the answer to the first question is that nobody knows. The answer to the second question is also: nobody knows. So there are two ways that this could pan out. The first is that we aggressively find a cure for this virus, and the second is that the virus could simply weaken over time. In fact there’s claims being made now that COVID could simply burn itself out and mutate into a much weaker form of the virus that has been infecting the landscape over the last six months. We go to Italy for this story.

In the past few weeks, several top doctors across the globe have come out to say that new data that indicates COVID-19 is becoming less potent, more diffused and less deadly.

"The Coronavirus currently infecting patients appears to have a gene sequence deleted that reduced the strength of the disease. That may sound crazy, but the SARS Coronavirus that caused a pandemic back in 2003 had a similar gene sequence deleted as it became weaker towards the end of it's outbreak," said Dr. David Geier. The health and wellness expert says if that's true, you may see an increase in cases as states reopen, but less hospitalizations and deaths. He also said there's still more research that needs to be done to really prove that this virus has actually weakened.

At least one infectious-disease expert at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine said the new virus does mutate slowly compared to flu, but when it comes to it's genetic changes, it appears to be mostly inconsequential.

Michael Ryan, a top official with the World Health organization stated, "We need to be exceptionally careful not to create a sense that all of a sudden the virus by its own volition has now decided to be less pathogenic. That is not the case at all."

Here's what I learned: The pandemic is evolving rapidly. Science shows some strains of the virus have become more dominant, but despite several experts who believe the virus has weakened, most say there's no solid evidence yet to prove it significantly changed since it was first reported in China.

That is not how you defeat coronavirus. Repeat, that is not how you defeat coronavirus. So there’s many claims to this theory. Two things that a pandemic needs to end are time and potency. And both of these things could determine how the latest pandemic plays out. How will the coronavirus pandemic play out as time goes on? That’s debatable, because, as has been stated, nobody knows because this is a new virus that nobody has seen before.

On May 31, the news agency Reuters published an article with an optimistic but incendiary headline: “New coronavirus losing potency, top Italian doctor says.”

The story included comments from hospital leaders in Milan and Genoa, cities in two regions of northern Italy that have been hit hard by Covid-19. The doctors’ comments were pulled from published news reports in the Italian media, and both suggested that the virus is growing weaker. Matteo Bassetti, MD, PhD, is head of the Infectious Diseases Clinic at the San Martino-IST University Hospital and a professor of infectious diseases at the University of Genoa. He is quoted in the Reuters piece as saying that, “The strength the virus had two months ago is not the same strength it has today.”

Reached for comment on Tuesday, Bassetti elaborated on his prior statement for Elemental. “What is happening in our hospitals — at least in the northern part of Italy — the clinical impression is that the disease is now different compared to the disease of three months ago,” he says. “The majority of patients who presented in our emergency rooms or wards during March and April were very sick with acute respiratory distress syndrome, shock, multiple organ failure, and the majority died in the first days after admission. Now in May, we no longer see these types of patients.”

Bassetti completed a post-doctoral fellowship at Yale University. He’s quick to say that he is not basing his views on lab-confirmed findings; his statements are based on his own interactions with patients and his conversations with other doctors. “The clinical impression here is that the virus is different,” he says. “Is this because the virus lost some viral potency? Or because the viral load or total count of the virus is lower? I don’t know.”

But the good news is that this claim is not just being made in Italy. Even countries like Egypt are reporting that the virus is getting weaker. Until that time happens, we will have to deal with the consequences of living with it. There is a theory that virus weaken as they spread far and wide because of their genetic makeup. But the thing is until next year we just won’t know how this pans out.

12 June 2020: The novel coronavirus (COVID-19) started to become weaker worldwide, the Egyptian Cabinet’s spokesman said, adding that around 85 percent of the cases recover normally.

In an interview with dmc, spokesman Nader Saad said tourism is the sector affected the most with the coronavirus crisis in Egypt, noting that domestic tourism will be back starting July 1.

Restoring tourism worldwide will be a gradual and slow step, Saad said, adding that many people now fear traveling due to the novel virus. He said tourism companies aim at organizing trips to Egypt and Greece, in case flights are back.

The Egyptian state’s high commission to manage the coronavirus crisis said on Thursday the country will resume international flights to the coastal governorates impacted the least with the novel virus, starting July.

The decision includes the governorates of South Sinai, the Red Sea and Matrouh. South Sinai includes cities of Sharm El-Sheikh, Dahab, Nuweiba' and Taba, known to be among the most popular tourist attractions in the northeastern African country. Red Sea includes Hurghada.

That said though, we don’t want to read too much into things and we don’t want to get ahead of ourselves in fighting a virus that we’ve never seen before. The thing is this thing came in and wrecked our whole society and it is going to take a global effort to pick up the pieces and return to a functioning society again. But this is a good reason why it’s a good idea to read beyond the headlines. Wait a minute, that’s our job!

It's natural to want some good news in troubling times. There are potential dangers in reading too much into things. In Italy, there's an ongoing public debate about a possible encouraging shift toward a weaker version of Covid-19. A leading virologist and doctor have endorsed this idea as the number of deaths, cases, severely ill patients and viral load they’ve seen on swabs are declining or

In Italy, there's an ongoing public debate about a possible encouraging shift toward a weaker version of Covid-19. A leading virologist and doctor have endorsed this idea as the number of deaths, cases, severely ill patients and viral load they’ve seen on swabs are declining or holding steady even as the country reopens. The virologist, Arnaldo Caruso, suggested that the virus could vanish even wi

Caruso did acknowledge the possibility of other explanations and a future resurgence in an interview; even so, the notion of a weakening virus is understandably popular and may well emerge in the variety of other nations that are past the worst of their outbreaks. There's a high burden of proof for making such a claim, though, let alone using it as a basis for public health decisions. It most defi

Viruses change over time, sometimes in significant ways. These mutation-driven shifts are why we need new flu vaccines every year, and why seasonal outbreaks vary. There's also an evolutionary trade-off between deadliness and transmission — a virus that kills too many hosts can't spread — so some become milder.

Read more at: https://www.bloombergquint.com/gadfly/coronavirus-post-peak-lull-in-cases-doesn-t-mean-weaker-virus

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day!

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit

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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Tallahassee! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair virtual congregation! You know church is closed even though in this time of pandemic that we are considered an essential business. Well in some states anyway. But that said, we’ve finally moved out of the church basement and into our temporary new studio. Don’t worry, we will be back in our brand new church relatively soon (we hope). But this week I have to talk about the events of the last two weeks. I only have one rule in my church and that is that we should never mention the unholy, ungodly Dark One by his name! But since he committed the most ultimate of party fouls, we must. Yes, he went to St. John’s Church and held up the Holy Book in a badly timed and poorly planned PR stunt!

In extreme circumstances like the present, people go back to their deep beliefs and look into their souls. The Democratic Party, by way of the Joe Biden campaign, has announced that the upcoming Presidential election will be “a battle for the soul of America.” But, in religious terms, what kind of a soul will that be? America remains a Christian-majority nation, and evangelicals are an important and dependable part of President Trump’s base; part of his “Make America Great Again” theme has been his in-your-face cheerleading for Christianity. Although Trump has lived more or less the opposite of a Christian life, many evangelicals see him as their heaven-sent ally, an instance of God’s well-known habit of working in mysterious ways.

A faithful churchgoer he’s not. After he held up a Bible for his violence-enabled photo op in Lafayette Square, a reporter asked him, “Is that your Bible?” He replied, “It’s a Bible.” If, as he seemed to be saying (unsurprisingly), this particular Bible did not belong to him, its actual owner remained unknown. Ivanka Trump had carried it in a designer handbag during the walk from the White House to St. John’s Church and had given it to her father so that he could pose with it, but apparently it wasn’t hers, either. After the photo op, nobody stepped forward to claim this Bible as his or her own and take pride in its having participated in an important moment in history.

Of course, there are millions of Bibles out there that don’t technically belong to anyone. Maybe this was just a copy that the White House had on hand. In courtrooms, for the swearing-in of witnesses, there are Bibles that are the general property of the court. At a witness’s request, a court might provide a copy of the Torah instead; in places with more diversity, courts might also offer Qurans and Bhagavad Gitas. The option of not swearing on any text at all exists, too. Atheists, for example, don’t have to raise their right hands and swear on a hardback of Richard Dawkins’s “The God Delusion” but may simply affirm that what they say will be the truth. Some judges make a point of telling jurors to remember that a witness who chooses to affirm rather than swear is no less likely to be truthful.

Yes, yes he does! And really can we say that the guy who spends the least amount of time in church is claiming to be the godliest among us? Well have you seen who he surrounds himself with? And this is not a well or sane man. This is a very evil, wicked man who has evil intentions and is consumed by his ego, and that is a recipe for SIN!!! He is a wicked SINNER!!!! He is currently ruling this country with the darkest of hearts!

Joe Biden on Tuesday blistered President Donald Trump a day after police drove back peaceful protesters near the White House so President Trump could pose with a Bible before a damaged church. Biden said President Trump’s “narcissism has become more important than the nation that he leads.”

The presumptive Democratic presidential nominee delivered a speech at Philadelphia’s City Hall, addressing the civil unrest across America following the death of George Floyd. Biden said “the moment has come” to deal with systemic racism and deeply ingrained economic inequality — and insisted that the nation can’t wait until November’s election and its outcome.

“I call on the Congress to act this month,” Biden said, urging lawmakers to start “with real police reform” and citing proposed legislation outlawing choke holds.

But Biden stepped up his criticism of President Trump as he works to elevate his voice in the national debate — after more than two months of the campaign for the White House being frozen amid the outbreak of the coronavirus.

Except that there is judgement here! Because we are in an election year and it’s turned into what might possibly be one of the biggest nightmares of all time. We have the darkest and most wickedly EVIL ruler of them all in the White House and it does look like it will take a miracle for him to stay in power. It is time to cast aside this wicked evil!

As America implodes, the president would like to have all Americans know of his two rules.

Rule one: Donald Trump is always a winner. Rule two: when Donald Trump is losing, refer back to rule one.

So as an increasing number of Republicans and conservatives abandon him; as former generals and government officials denounce a president who is losing the public trust, refer back to rule one.

As the economy dips and unemployment rises to an historic high, and Americans die in record numbers from the coronavirus, all under his watch: Ditto.

As an historic protest against racism and police brutality spreads nationwide and shakes the presidency. Ditto.

But back to what I am saying, and for our church to take a hit discussing politics, and you know what? At this point who cares? Seriously talk to me again this time next year when we have a competent administration in charge and we can start nipping COVID in the bud. But until then we have an absolute clown who cares about his ratings, and his standing with the Christian right.

Donald Trump’s reelection chances are quite dim without the robust support of his white evangelical base. His electoral college win in 2016 was fueled by white evangelical turnout and the overwhelming number of white evangelicals — 81% — who pulled the lever for him. He cannot afford for the religious right, made up of white evangelicals along with conservative white mainline Protestants and Catholics, to let up on the rapt support they have shown throughout his presidency.

That helps explain why, in the midst of an unprecedented global pandemic and a historic uprising against racism, the president and his allied power brokers on the religious right are focused not on addressing either crisis, but rather on stagecraft that will reinforce the base’s belief that Trump is a divinely anointed president who is saving white Christian America from ruin.

Trump’s photo op last week in front of the historic St. John’s Church, which looked farcical, sacrilegious and even fascistic to many Americans, was spun — and received — as tough and heroic to his defenders. In the pro-Trump media bubble, America is under siege by leftist terrorists, and Trump is the valorous protector of a “Christian nation.” That the president and his attorney general, William Barr, had protesters tear gassed so Trump could walk to the church was a vibrant symbol of his willingness to fight for the soul of the nation.

“It was strong and powerful for the president to go there and say, we will not be cowed,” Sen. Ted Cruz, the Texas Republican, told Fox News. And Robert Jeffress, a mega-church pastor who is one of Trump’s closest evangelical advisors, told the network the purpose of the president’s visit was “demonstrating his intent to protect churches from those who would try to destroy them.”

OK I needed to get that off my chest. And hey I didn’t break my one rule everybody! Virtual mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Kneeling Protesters
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We’re officially in the “beating a dead horse” phase of Beating A Dead Horse. That is right, we have officially gone meta! How do I know that? Well conservatives everywhere just will not let this kneeling thing go. We first covered conservatives railing against kneeling protestors in the first “Beating A Dead Horse” segment in Idiots #3-16. We then covered this again in Idiots #7-5. Now we’re covering this topic yet again. We might have officially beaten our own dead horse. Because, the favorite punching bag of the right, the former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, is back in the news and this time it’s guaranteed to make conservative heads explode!

With widespread protests and countless athletes getting involved across the country in recent weeks, it’s all but certain that players will start kneeling during the national anthem in protest this fall.

Houston Texans star J.J. Watt and Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield ensured that they’ll be supporting those protests on social media on Saturday, too.
J.J. Watt quickly corrects fan

Watt slammed a fan on Twitter on Saturday afternoon who, in a since-deleted tweet, said they were “pretty sure you won’t see J.J. Watt taking a knee” during the national anthem this season.

The defensive end didn’t specify whether he’d be taking a knee during the anthem himself, but he’s clearly in support of the protests.

He isn’t alone in Houston, either.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! My ears!!! My ears!!! OK so kneeling during the National Anthem is a disgrace, but that hideous butchering isn’t? Come on! Well here’s the thing folks in case you haven’t forgotten we’re still in a pandemic, so there may or may not be football this year depending on what is happening with the virus. But it will be an interesting season if it actually goes through!

In the midst of violent protests across the country, something simple and symbolic is slowing people down: protesters and police are kneeling, together.

"It's extraordinarily powerful,” said Case Western Law Professor Bryan Adamson. "One of the ultimate forms of humility."

But kneeling wasn't always seen that way to everyone. Most notably, the uproar over Colin Kaepernick’s protest on the NFL sidelines in 2016.

Adamson says people lost sight of the original message.

"The kneeling did not mean, ‘I hate America’ or ‘I am anti-American’ or ‘I don't believe in the Pledge of Allegiance,” he said.

At the time, Kaepernick said he was kneeling in protest to “how we treat people and the oppression and the injustices that go on."

Now, four years later, police and protesters are kneeling together.

Man remember the good old days when getting down on one knee meant that you were going to propose marriage to someone? Well the good news though is that this is backfiring big time on Trump and his goons. Yes, the more he speaks out on this issue, the fewer fans he has. It’s his version of kryptonite. And those two institutions? NASCAR and the NFL. Yes, those are two good ol’ American institutions that are havens for 90% of his fan base.

President Donald Trump has long had two cherished American institutions standing beside him as he railed against athletes taking a knee during the national anthem: NASCAR and the NFL.

This week, they both started to walk away.

Bending to the cultural moment, NASCAR and the NFL in recent days reversed course on their approach to athletes protesting racial injustice. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said he had been wrong for not listening to protesting players earlier and encouraged “all to speak out and peacefully protest.” Meanwhile, NASCAR relaxed rules barring kneeling during the national anthem and banned Confederate flags from its events. Within days, a NASCAR driver was circling a track in a race car emblazoned with #BlackLivesMatter and a NASCAR official was taking a knee during prerace ceremonies.

The moves came in response to the protests that have erupted across the country in response to the killing of George Floyd, a 46-year-old black man who died at the hands of the Minneapolis police. And they reflected shifting cultural attitudes — polls show an increasing percentage of the population view racism as a big problem in the country and the protests as a justified response.

Yup, Trump got owned by two of the right wing’s favorite institutions – NASCAR and the NFL. Yes, the tides are turning and they’re definitely turning in favor of us! Does that mean that with Tom Brady finally leaving Boston for greener pastures in Florida mean that the NFL has a new superstar on their hands with Kaepernick? Well I wouldn’t bet on that just yet.

Dressed in a blue long-sleeve shirt and seated in the basement of his suburban home outside New York City, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell spoke in a subdued voice on camera and admitted that the league had poorly mishandled player activism.

"We, the National Football League, admit we were wrong for not listening to NFL players earlier and encourage all to speak out and peacefully protest," Goodell said in the video, which was posted June 5.

Goodell's video statements came on the heels of another viral video, posted the day before, which featured prominent Black NFL players, including Patrick Mahomes, quarterback for the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs, condemning racism and advocating for the Black Lives Matter movement.

And while both videos referred to George Floyd, the Black man who died in police custody in Minneapolis on May 25 — a disturbing incident caught on video in which an officer held his knee on Floyd's neck for more than eight minutes, prompting protests around the world — neither Goodell nor the NFL players made any mention of Colin Kaepernick.

It was Kaepernick, the former San Francisco 49ers quarterback who starred in the 2013 Super Bowl, who in 2016 began kneeling during the national anthem. Kaepernick said numerous times then that he was protesting "systematic oppression" and police brutality. His activism sparked other NFL players to follow his lead that season, while President Donald Trump lambasted NFL players who knelt, calling them "sons of bitches" and joking that owners should fire players who take a knee.

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[font size="8"]COPS: How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: The long-running reality show COPS. How is this still a thing? The show COPS was created in response to a writer’s strike that crippled the television industry in the late 1980s. The idea was an unscripted TV show following the men and women of law enforcement around in their day to day life in the hopes that something exciting would come along. But lately with all the animosity toward police that started in 2015 and has recently escalated with the murder of George Floyd, we wonder how this show has survived as long as it has. And how did it command the audience that it did for nearly 32 years before it finally got the axe? Also, what took them so long?

Of all the charges you could level at Cops, it’s hard to accuse it of stinting on action. Until its cancellation this week, the 31-year-old reality series endured for so long because, despite the unvarnished nature of its presentation and concept (just regular cops filmed doing real police work!), it stuck rigidly to a fast-paced format. Each episode runs about 22 minutes long and has three acts, within which a suspect is located, investigated, and—mostly—arrested. The arrestees are often referred to as “bad guys,” and they get no backstory, no biography beyond what they volunteer to the officers in front of them. They’re human beings reduced to the sum of their rap sheets, or to their mental and emotional state on the particular day that the cameras are rolling.

The cops don’t get much more by way of characterization, although they occasionally throw out one-liners to the accompanying cameramen to acknowledge the viewers at home. I was reminded of this detail when Officer Tou Thao of the Minneapolis Police Department cracked, “This is why you don’t do drugs, kids,” to the assembled crowd watching the killing of George Floyd in real time. The line struck me as something someone might say if they had grown up watching Cops, and had absorbed the show’s motifs as emblems of police work. In Cops’ world, the police are by default the good guys, because theirs is the only point of view the camera follows. Fleeing suspects must be captured because—on Cops—they’re always guilty of something. And the structure of the show’s acts, punctuated by ad breaks, means that the good guys unfailingly capture and overpower the bad guys in a matter of minutes.
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Never have these qualities felt so out of touch. That Cops was still in production shocked some people this week, given how much it seemed like a relic of the late ’80s and ’90s, something unearthed from a time capsule alongside The Tracey Ullman Show and the “Just Say No” antidrug campaign. But that the series was finally canceled by the Paramount Network, where it had moved after 25 seasons on Fox, was less surprising. Cops has been drawing critiques for years, most recently in a 2018 Marshall Project feature and a 2019 podcast that both probe its simplistic, heavily one-sided portrayal of police work. In a moment that’s considerably less inclined to blindly accept valorizing shows about law enforcement, Cops isn’t the only casualty: A&E’s wildly successful weekend series Live PD was also canceled this week, with the network stating that it was rethinking storytelling about police at “a critical time in our nation’s history.”

Yup, shit just got real all right! So with all the attention on the police, for mostly negative and well deserved reasons why, why did the show Cops become as iconic as it was, and how did this play a role in how public opinions shaped views of how the police really operates? Also of course, leave it to the Fox Network to put such a polarizing and divisive show on the air. Really, we’re shocked that they would do such a thing!

When a writers’ strike paralyzed the television industry in the late 1980s, networks were forced to find new, alternative programs to fill its air.

That’s how “Cops” found a home on Fox Television. The low budget program, which had no union writers, was a welcome solution — and it ran for 32 seasons. That is until earlier this week.

Now owned by ViacomCBS, “Cops” was canceled in the wake of of protests against police brutality and the death of George Floyd at the hands of a white police officer.

The show has long been criticized for its depiction of police interactions with criminal suspects, but high ratings kept the show running and even inspired other networks to create reality TV shows featuring cops. A&E’s “Live P.D.,” one of the highest-rated shows on cable, has also been canceled.

“As an early reality program, it came across to people as raw documentary,” said Jack Bratich, associate professor of journalism and media studies at Rutgers University. “Nowadays audiences are more savvy about how reality programming is produced, edited and staged. Viewers are aware of how programs present perspectives and invite audiences to identify with those perspectives.”

OK so we’ve seen the protests for the bad cops, which are portrayed on TV shows such as COPS. But what about kids shows like Paw Patrol? Or even goofy comedies like Reno 911, Brooklyn 99 and Super Troopers? Or the Simpson’s loveable doofus character Chief Wiggum? Are those still cannon fodder for protestors? Or will this change the landscape of television and police characters for good?

Some people are calling online for Nickelodeon to cancel Paw Patrol, and take the show off the airwaves. Or if not that, they want the show’s main police dog character Chase to be removed.

This comes after Paramount’s Cops and A&E’s Live PD were canceled on Monday.

The call came as the animated show tweeted, “In solidarity of #amplifymelanatedvoices we will be muting our content until June 7th to give access for Black voices to be heard so we can continue to listen and further our learning. #amplifyblackvoices”

The animated children’s show features a squad of 6 dogs with a set of skills related to emergency services, and a boy named Ryder who all work to protect their city of Adventure Bay.

Shortly after the show’s tweet, commenters started to weigh in asking for Paw Patrol to be canceled.

In one tweet, a user posted a photoshopped picture that read, “All Dogs go to Heaven, except for those class traitors in the Paw Patrol.”

Yes, that escalated very quickly. Leave it to social media to turn an innocent children’s show very dark very quickly. But COPS isn’t just the epitome of police propaganda, and there’s lots of TV shows, movies, and TV and movie characters out there who portray good cops and bad cops. But will this change the way America views its’ police force forever? Well, after a series of horrifying murders, this might just be the icing on the cake.

In the aftermath of yet another viral video showing a Black man’s murder at the hands of a systemically racist, broken police force, America’s longest-running source of pro-police propaganda was unceremoniously yanked from scheduling. After 32 seasons — over a thousand syndicated episodes adding up to over three decades’ worth of nearly uninterrupted availability — Spike TV, current home of the landmark “reality” show “Cops,” announced the show’s hiatus would become permanent.

For decades, showrunners for "Cops" maintained that their goal was depicting the “real men and women of law enforcement,” while in actuality offering a carefully crafted, heavily edited dramatization of a mythic struggle against the urban anarchy threatening to storm suburbia’s gates. It will not be missed.

I came of age as part of the “Cops” generation. Fox’s revolutionary docu-drama debuted in 1989, one year before I was born, when America was dealing with a crack epidemic and widespread concern over rising crime rates and police corruption. The show’s pilot, very much a product of that time, has not aged well. It’s depiction of American policing is both tone-deaf and gaudy, while reveling in racial insensitivity.

One extended uncomfortable segment depicts police officers literally stopping cars with white drivers at the edge of a predominantly black neighborhood and telling them to turn around. Another follows a patrolman to his house to showcase his home life: a stereotypical portrait of a brusque, dismissive husband haunted by his day’s work sitting next to his long-suffering wife in front of the TV. It didn’t take long for “Cops” to refine its format, shifting the focus away from the police officers themselves and onto their suspects.

So too much of the bad cops being shown on TV, and not enough of the good ones, so that’s enough to cancel all cop shows for the rest of eternity. That’s enough to make you ask: The show COPS:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Who is dumb this week? Do I need to remind you that we’re still in a pandemic and that this thing isn’t going away any time soon. And there have been some dumb motherfuckers in this thing. Starting with sex. First off, if you are to engage in what one would call a “menage a tois”, it *NEVER* goes the way you think it’s going to go. We go to Myrtle Beach – god damn motherfucking Myrtle Beach – for this insane story. And if you are celebrating a birthday this is one of those things that you shouldn’t do under any circumstances.

A birthday weekend threesome came to an abrupt end Friday when the 19-year-old celebrant pulled a male acquaintance “off the other woman by his genitals and threw him to the floor” of a La Quinta Inn room, according to South Carolina police.

The woman, named Mary Jane, told police that her friend Jahiem had arrived in Myrtle Beach before her and “had been spending time with another woman before she got there.” And, a police incident report notes, “that’s what started the whole argument.”

Jahiem told Myrtle Beach Police Department officers that he and Mary Jane “agreed to have sexual relations with that other woman,” whose age is not revealed in the report. Mary Jane, however, did tell cops that the second woman had a pistol in her handbag.

“During the course of the relations,” Jahiem said, Mary Jane pulled him “off the other woman by his genitals and threw him to the floor.” During a physical confrontation that followed, Jahiem said he kicked Mary Jane, “causing her to fall.”

Oh George, don’t you know going in that this is a bad idea? Next up – stupid has no boundaries, it has no race, no culture, nothing. And this was a sentence that was written. It was said. Someone had to write this article, and well, we feel bad for them. Let’s go to Spain for this one. And I really think this guy should be nominated for the new Most Interesting Man In The World. Stay thirsty my friends!

A Spanish porn star was arrested and charged with manslaughter late last week in connection with a mysterious death following a drug ritual involving toad venom.

Nacho Vidal, 46, was one of three people arrested in connection with the July 2019 death of Jose Luis Abad, a Spanish fashion photographer. Abad died after smoking dehydrated venom from an endangered toad, reportedly as part of a ritual over which Vidal was presiding as shaman.

The venom belonged to the Colorado River toad, which is found in the southwestern United States and Mexico. The toad secretes a toxin to ward off predators that, when dehydrated, contains the compound 5-MeO-DMT, a derivative DMT, which has powerful psychedelic properties.

5-MeO-DMT has been referred to as a “god molecule” due to reports of people feeling like they’d met a higher power while under the effects of the drug. Very limited research suggests it may have therapeutic uses, but it also has potentially dangerous side effects, including extreme nausea and confusion.

There’s really a Simpsons GIF for everything! And speaking of the Simpsons, remember that episode where Homer and his drunken posse vandalized and destroyed Springfield Elementary and the kids of Springfield were subjected to an extremely harsh curfew? Well, this story is pretty similar to that episode, where this guy was channeling his inner Bart Simpson:

Security cameras caught Matthew Crandall on video trashing Miramar High School. He wore only a hat and headphones while smashing computers and televisions, Miramar police said in a tweet.

The video showed Crandall broke into the school around 7 a.m. Monday. He caused flooding in hallways and vandalized classrooms, walls and hallways throughout the school in Broward County, police said.

A school custodian discovered the damage, which was estimated at about $100,000, police said.

Crandall is from North Fort Myers. It was not known whether he had any ties to the school, police said.

Police said Crandall is charged with burglary and criminal mischief. A lawyer is not listed on jail records.

God I miss live music! Next up, speaking of idiocy not respecting boundaries – it’s a lot like coronavirus – it’s spreadable, highly communicable, very contagious, and it doesn’t care about your race, creed, social, or economic status. Let’s take a look at this story out of Sydney, and that’s all the way in Australia, don’t you know? Well, once again this involves a naked guy doing something shady. Because when you add naked to the equation well…

Man acquitted of entering a home with a weapon after successful sex fantasy defence

Two men hired to carry out a stranger’s sexual fantasy of being tied up while clad in his underpants went to the wrong rural NSW address with machetes, but politely left after realising their mistake.

One of the Sydney men, Terrence Leroy, has now been found not guilty in the NSW district court of entering the home in July 2019 intending to intimidate while armed with an offensive weapon.
They started to leave after he told them his name – which was not that of the intended client.

One man apologised, saying “Sorry mate”, and shook the resident’s hand, while the other said “Bye” before they drove off. The resident then contacted the police.


Next up – young boys are dumb, and when in groups they tend to do some really dumb things. I know, I was one at one point. And young boys today should realize that comic books aren’t exactly what one would call real life. But even I, at a young age, was at least smart enough to know that the Black Widow spider was the deadliest. And it’s not going to turn you into Spiderman. And you’re definitely not Peter Parker.

Encountering a black widow spider would cause most of us to run in the opposite direction - but not three young Bolivian brothers who had high hopes of becoming a super-hero.

According to the New York Post, a Telemundo report said the incident was announced by a Ministry of Health official at a coronavirus briefing on Saturday.

The report said the boys - ages 12, 10 and 8 - found the spider while herding goats in Chayanta.

“Thinking it would give them superhero powers, they prodded it with a stick until it bit each of them in turn,” the official, Virgilio Pietro, said.

Read more: https://www.pennlive.com/news/2020/05/three-young-brothers-let-black-widow-bite-them-in-hopes-of-turning-into-spider-man.html

Finally this week our old pal Florida Man just can’t help himself to doing something stupid. Yes, Florida, the Sunshine State, America’s most penis-shaped state, and the winner of our 2020 Stupidest State Contest, always brings out the big guns. But he’s just as dumb as ever. Once again, I say that young boys do stupid things, it’s a fact of nature. But made even worse when paired with your dad and a 4,000 pound SUV. File this one under “things that do not end well”.

A Florida man is facing felony charges after police said he let a 12-year-old girl drive his SUV and told her to speed because he wanted to be a “cool father” — even though he is not her dad.

Shaun Michaelsen, 41, told the arresting officer Monday he is friends with the girl's mother and that the girl and her friend were staying with him for a few days, according to court records.

He said the girl had asked earlier in the day if she could drive his Jeep, so he thought “it would be cool" and that he was trying to be a “cool father,” the police report said. Michaelsen also told officers he had been drinking.

Jupiter Officer Craig Yochum said in his arrest report that he spotted the Jeep make an illegal U-turn and then speed away at about 12:10 a.m. Monday. He followed and the Jeep reached speeds of 85 mph in a 45 mph zone before he was able to pull it over. He said that when he asked the 12-year-https://www.kwqc.com/content/news/Police-Florida-man-lets-12-year-old-drive-Jeep-85-mph-571135401.html

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Road To The White House Episode 1
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Yes it’s time for our new segment – cue the reverb – THE ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE! Oh that was some good reverb there. 2020 has been an absolutely batshit crazy year, we’ve had the impeachment, the virus, the lockdowns, riots, protests, mass unemployment, murder hornets, blood monkeys, and we’re only halfway done. But lost in all the headlines is that we’re in an election year! And the Democratic Party finally has a candidate! So in this segment we’re going to chronicle Joe Biden’s road ot the White House, and since this is a free-form segment then anything goes! Well to start with this week, Biden’s got a long road ahead of him. This week – is the election being stolen? Well let’s take a look at what’s going on.

Imagine that it’s November 3, 2020, and Joe Biden has just been declared the winner of the presidential election by all the major networks except for Fox News. It was a close, bitter race, but Biden appears to have won with just over 280 electoral votes.

Because Election Day took place in the middle of a second wave of coronavirus infections, turnout was historically low and a huge number of votes were cast via absentee ballot. While Biden is the presumptive winner, the electoral process was bumpy, with thousands of mail-in votes in closely fought states still waiting to be counted. Trump, naturally, refuses to concede and spends election night tweeting about how “fraudulent” the vote was.

We knew this would be coming; he’s been previewing this kind of response for a while now.

One day goes by, then a few more, and a month later Trump is still contesting the outcome, calling it “rigged” or a “Deep State plot” or whatever. Republicans, for the most part, are falling in line behind Trump. From that point forward, we’re officially in a constitutional crisis.

Trump is the grandmaster! He is going to tell his followers to take to the streets and celebrate your president! And in what may be the ultimate circular firing squad argument, Trump and Biden both warn that the other will steal the other’s election victory. If you think that makes any sense whatsoever, well, just wait until you see the actual argument!

Five months before the election in November, the incumbent president and his Democratic challenger each tell Americans his opponent could "steal" the election, perhaps setting the stage for a contentious fight even after the voting is over.

The warnings from President Donald Trump and presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden are growing louder and earlier than in 2016, when Trump decried a "rigged" political system in the final weeks before his victory over Hillary Clinton.

The claims are more direct, reflecting the deeply divided nation that has defined the Trump era.

Both men's rhetoric is largely aimed at the same issue – vote-by-mail, which Biden and Democrats support to allow citizens to vote safely amid the coronavirus pandemic and which Trump strongly opposes. Trump has long stoked fears of election-stealing.Wednesday, Biden ramped up his attacks on the president over voter access.

That is a good question! Why do things have to be so hard? Well it’s safe to say that the fate of the country is at stake here. And in more ways than one. But this election could mark a turning point toward a much darker future or a much brighter one. Me personally? I’m choosing the brighter one. I do not want Trump and his goons in charge another 4 years. Think it’s bad now? You ain’t seen nothing yet!

As Election Day 2020 approaches, it would appear that presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden and his party have much to celebrate.

Biden leads Donald Trump by an average of eight percentage points in national polling, with some surveys showing Biden ahead of Trump by as many as 14 percentage points.

Biden also enjoys huge leads among the Democratic Party's key constituents, including black voters, Latinos and other nonwhites, college-educated white women and younger voters. Polls also show Joe Biden making gains among older white voters, a group that consistently supports Republicans and has been especially loyal to Trump. Biden also leads Trump in key battleground states such as Michigan and Wisconsin.

On closer inspection, however, matters are more complicated.

Election Day is still more than four months away, almost an eternity in electoral politics. Previous Democratic nominees such as Hillary Clinton and Michael Dukakis are object lessons in the cruel and mercurial ways of the political fates: Both appeared to hold big leads over their Republican opponents at this approximate point in the cycle, only to lose on Election Day.

Yeah I can imagine the debates are going like that. And that’s if Trump decides to debate Biden, which we all know he won’t. In fact he’s trying to fan the flames for a possible Civil War. Oh yes my friends, don’t think for a minute that he won’t go there. But if Atlanta is any indication, there’s going to be a long, very long uphill fight ahead of us before we decide the 46th president of the United States. But at least Trump will go quietly… or won’t he?

First he lit into Michigan and Nevada, threatening to withhold federal funding because of his assertion that both states were preparing to commit voter fraud through mail-in ballot applications. Then President Donald Trump followed up Sunday with two more broadly worded warnings that November would be “the greatest Rigged Election in history.”

“The Democrats are trying to Rig the 2020 Election, plain and simple!” the president claimed.

Trump’s increasingly amped-up rhetoric surrounding the integrity of the November election is beginning to bring to center stage a previously muted conversation. With the president lagging behind Joe Biden in public opinion polls six months before the general election, his opponents are becoming increasingly anxious that Trump may attempt to undermine the results of the election if he loses — or worse, might attempt to cling to power regardless of the outcome.

"He is planting the seeds for delegitimizing the election if he loses," Vanita Gupta, a former head of the Department of Justice’s civil rights division under President Barack Obama and now president of The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, said on Twitter on Sunday in reaction to Trump's "rigged election" claim. "It’s from the playbook. It’ll get more intense as he gets more freaked out."

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Is there a possibility that Biden could win Texas for the first time in 40 years? It's entirely possible along with a lot of other 2020 probabbles!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #12: Season 8 Recap: Shit Really Hits The Fan Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #12: Season 8 Recap: Shit Really Hits The Fan Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh hello! I know right? Well we survived what will hopefully be the first half of the Coronavirus Apocalypse. But what else could 2020 bring us? We’ve already seen destructive fires, murder hornets, blood monkeys, fires, earthquakes, tornadoes, and we’re in the middle of a pandemic and race riots. What else could 2020 possibly throw at us? Well there is hurricane season coming up so there is that. Normally this is where I would announce the tour dates for the next season, but since we can’t tour right now and all venues are closed for the duration of the COVID pandemic, we’re still sadly stuck at home for the foreseeable future. Hopefully it’s not a long one my friends. Hopefully this is the end of the pandemic as the Coronavirus will hopefully mutate into a much weaker form of itself and eventually disappear. We still need a vaccine though because we never want this to happen again. But as venues across the country start reopening, I will be trying our hand at a couple of live Top 10s with a limited audience from our new home at the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in the heart of Burbank. Yes, we said goodbye to our longtime home at the UCB Theater in Hollywood, but we will be back. Anyway the next season is season number 9 (NEIN!!!) and we will also be documenting Joe Biden’s road to becoming our 46th president! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first we’ll play John Oliver’s last show in front of a live audience where he talks about why you should pay attention to who your local sheriff is:


So this is of course we’re between seasons and we usually do a Best Of. In the number one slot, from Idiots #8-2, after Trump nearly brings us to the brink of a World War, we open up the Top 10 History Vault and ask “just how close are we to World War III?” (1). Answer: A lot closer than you may think! For the second slot this week from Idiots #8-4, Trump is asking everyone to “read the transcript” in terms of his impeachment trial, but have they? Well, they have! Taking the third slot this week from Idiots #8-6, the GOP’s equivalent of Joseph Goebbles, Rush Limbaugh (3) announces he has stage 4 lung cancer, but should we feel sorry for the man who’s said some seriously evil shit about us over the last 30 years? Eh… probably. Taking the fourth slot this week, from Idiots #8-9, we ask “What’s Up With India” (4) as Trump heads to Delhi to party with Modi and his huge crowd at one of India’s largest stadiums doesn’t go exactly as planned. In the fifth slot for you, we have a bonus all new Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week as the race to find a vaccine for COVID-19 heats up, we take a look at the people who are responsible for launching a massive vaccine disinformation campaign, as tweeted by your racist uncle on his Facebook page! At slot #6, from Idiots #8-3, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, Holy Shit (6), takes a look at the ongoing battle between former Pope Benedict and current Pope Francis over the future of the church and well it’s quite insane. In the 7th slot this week, in our pop culture segment “Beating A Dead Horse” (7), why are K-Pop fans plotting to take down your favorite celebrities? We will examine this strange phenomenon! In the #8 slot this week, we have another bonus segment for you, because we love our fans! Our segment on all things batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner (8) takes a look at a group of protestors who wear Hawaiian shirts and carry AK-47s known as the “Boogaloo Movement” and if you see these guys, well, run. In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week from Idiots #8-5, we have a People Are Dumb (9) segment from our trip to Miami where we do a special all Florida Man edition! Finally our segment about the primary election “Keeping Up With The Candidates” takes a look at the beef between the world’s biggest podcaster Joe Rogan and one of America’s favorite presidential candidates, Bernie Sanders. Really, what is going on between these two? And since we don’t have live music currently, we’ll fill that void with a performance from when Mike Portnoy’s heavy metal super group Sons Of Apollo stopped by! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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From: Idiots #8-2

Here’s the thing – you elect a republican, you’re going to go to war. That’s about as basic of a statement as you’re going to get. Trump and the military industrial complex want a war with Iran, and they’re going to give it to us whether we want it or not. Because why? There’s profit to be made in war, peace is boring and not profitable for weapons manufacturers. Where’s Tony Stark when you need him? He managed to privatize peace. But over New Year’s, Trump nearly brought us to the brink of not just a war with Iran, but with World War III. And it’s having some serious consequences. So just how bad was the killing of Soleimani and what are the consequences of it? Well…

Donald Trump on Saturday drew what may come to be seen as the most significant red line of his presidency in a three-part tweet, vowing specific military action against Iran if it "strikes any Americans, or American assets."

"We have ... targeted 52 Iranian sites (representing the 52 American hostages taken by Iran many years ago), some at a very high level & important to Iran & the Iranian culture" and "if Iran strikes any Americans, or American assets... Iran itself, WILL BE HIT VERY FAST AND VERY HARD," Trump wrote in a series of tweets.

Trump reiterated his warning in a series of tweets early Sunday, saying the United States just spent $2 trillion on military equipment.
"We are the biggest and by far the BEST in the World! If Iran attacks an American Base, or any American, we will be sending some of that brand new beautiful equipment their way...and without hesitation!," he tweeted. "They attacked us, & we hit back. If they attack again, which I would strongly advise them not to do, we will hit them harder than they have ever been hit before!"

Man remember the good old days when the mere idea of bombing Iran was just the musings of a creepy old guy singing a Beach Boys song parody?


Yeah that happened! But now it is not just the musings of a creepy old guy in song format, but it could possibly be a reality, and a reality which we should all be fearful of! Because, that’s our media – fear fear fear fear fear!!! Be afraid!!!

BEIRUT—About two years ago, Qassem Soleimani delivered a speech at a ceremony in Tehran marking a decade since the death of Imad Mughniyeh, the senior Hezbollah commander killed in a car-bomb explosion in the heart of Damascus, an attack carried out by the CIA with support from Israel. Standing in front of a huge portrait of Mughniyeh superimposed against a panorama of Jerusalem, Soleimani addressed an audience of senior Iranian officials, as well as representatives of Iran’s proxy militias in Iraq, Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Syria, and Yemen.

Soleimani hailed Mughniyeh as “the legend” responsible for practically all the achievements of Iran’s so-called axis of resistance, which according to the Iranian general included building Hezbollah and the Palestinian group Hamas into formidable threats to Israel and killing 241 American service members in the 1983 bombing of a U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut. “The enemy knows that punishment for Imad’s blood is not firing a missile or a tit-for-tat assassination,” he told the crowd. “The punishment for Imad’s blood is the eradication of the Zionist entity.”

Following Soleimani’s killing in an American air strike this month, it is worth remembering the man’s own words. Soleimani, Mughniyeh, and the current Hezbollah leader, Hassan Nasrallah, formed a trio of men who carried out Iran’s strategy across the Middle East under Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. And so it is hard to overstate the magnitude of the blow that Soleimani’s death has delivered. The focus in the days since his killing has been on the perceived impulsiveness of Donald Trump’s decision, Iran’s retaliation—limited thus far to the firing of 22 missiles at two U.S. bases in Iraq, with no reported casualties—the public displays of grief for Soleimani in Iran, and the national- security implications. But as with Mughniyeh’s death, to paraphrase Soleimani himself, the response to the Iranian general’s killing will not be restricted to a lone missile attack or a tit-for-tat move—Iran is not yet done.

Holy shit!! Yeah he’s going to get a whole bunch of people killed in the process. But remember the terror code list from the Bush era where things were red to green in terms of severity? Well, Trump downgraded the severity of Soleimani’s killing from “imminent threat” to “deterrence”. Despite that the government and citizens of Iran are saying literally the opposite.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Attorney General William Barr said Monday that killing Iranian commander Qasem Soleimani was part of a larger strategy of deterrence, a shift from the Trump administration's previous rationale that the strike was carried out to prevent an "imminent" attack.

Barr's comments were particularly noteworthy as he attempted to push back on criticism over the administration's claim that Soleimani was planning attacks that posed an imminent threat, calling the concept "something of a red herring."

"I believe there was intelligence of imminent attack, but I do believe that concept of imminence is something of a red herring," he said during a press conference on last month's deadly shooting at a Naval Air Station in Pensacola, Florida.

"I think when you're dealing with a situation where you already have attacks underway, you know there is a campaign that involves repeated attacks on American targets, I don't think there's a requirement frankly for, you know, knowing the exact time and place of the next attack. And that certainly was the position of the Obama when it droned leaders of terrorist organizations," Barr added.

I don’t claim to know a lot, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a red herring works. And now we play the blame game. Who is getting blamed for this? Well since no one reads past the headlines anymore, the US is blaming Iran, and Iran is blaming the US. But Iran doesn’t have a petulant man baby currently holding the highest office in the land. Apparently they haven’t joined the Putin Dictators’ Club yet .I hear there are a few memberships open for that position.

Iran said Tuesday that dozens of people had been arrested over the Islamic Republic's apparently unintentional shooting down of a Ukrainian jetliner last week. The arrests come amid Iranian vows to fully and openly investigate the firing of the surface-to-air missile that downed the plane, killing all 176 people on board.

But while Iran confessed to shooting the jet down — three days after the fact and under intense international pressure — its president asserted Tuesday that the "root causes" of the tragedy were U.S. actions.

"It was the U.S. that caused such an incident to take place," Iran's state-controlled news agency Tasnim quoted President Hassan Rouhani as saying. The Iranian regime has blamed the Trump administration for ratcheting up tensions with the controversial decision to kill senior Iranian military commander Qassem Soleimani in a January 2 drone strike in Baghdad.

Iranian forces shot the plane down hours after launching a barrage of ballistic missiles at military bases in Iraq housing hundreds of U.S. forces, in retaliation for the killing of Soleimani. Officials in Tehran have said their forces were on high-alert for any U.S. response to the missile attack, and the operator who fired on the plane believed it was an incoming American missile.

Yeah that’s kind of what the international blame game is like. I would talk more about the horrible plane crash that happened in Baghdad as a result of this, but making fun of that would be beneath us. That said, we can talk about President Man Baby’s revealing of why he killed Soleimani. I mean really this begs the question – did Mar A Lago guests know about the killing before hand? And the other question - WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? Absolutely nothing!!! Say it again!!

Presidential contender Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., sent a letter to two financial regulators this week demanding a federal investigation into whether President Donald Trump provided advance notice of the Jan. 3 strike against Iranian General Qasem Soleimani to stock traders who may have profited illegally based on the tip.

The letter, dated Monday and sent to the chairmen of the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Commodities Futures Trading Commission, follows a Jan. 4 report in The Daily Beast, citing three unnamed sources, which said that Trump had told guests of his Florida resort Mar-a-Lago in the days before the strike to expect a "big" response to Iran that would happen "soon."

"If this report is true, it raises a number of troubling national security questions regarding President Trump's handling of classified and other sensitive national security information," Warren wrote in the letter, which was also signed by Sen. Chris Van Hollen, D-Md., the ranking member of the Senate subcommittee that oversees securities and investments.

The senators wrote that the president's resort guests may have obtained "confidential market-moving information and had the opportunity to trade defense industry stocks or commodities or make other trades based on this information."

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[font size="8"]Impeachment Part 2
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From: Idiots #8-4

Yeah so there’s a lot of news and conflicting reports surrounding impeachment coming through the pike and you’re going to be hearing a lot of it. Unfortunately we won’t get to the Trump Barfs His Brain rally in New Jersey this week. Nor will we get to his interview before the Super Bowl. I mean who knew that he could land an interview with Sean Hannity? Really? You really need to know the answer to that question? Because if you have to answer why Sean Hannity is interviewing Trump, you are in the wrong place my friend. It’s been long established on this program that Hannity has his lips super glued to Trump’s ass and not even the strongest crowbar could pry them off.

Fox News host Sean Hannity is set to interview President Donald Trump during the Super Bowl pregame show, Mediaite has learned.

Trump will be sitting down at the White House for the interview with Hannity ahead of Super Bowl LIV on Feb. 2. The highly-rated event, broadcast this year by Fox, will see the Kansas City Chiefs face off against the San Francisco 49ers.

The pre-Super Bowl presidential interview started in 2004, when President George W. Bush chatted with his personal pal Jim Nantz. Barack Obama resumed the tradition in 2009 and it has endured since, with a notable exception: Trump blew off NBC in 2018. He participated again last year, sitting down with CBS anchor Margaret Brennan.

The interview generally takes place in the second half of the four-hour pregame show, and has taken on a newsier bent over time.

The last time Fox hosted the Super Bowl, in 2017, former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly conducted the interview. O’Reilly interviewed President Barack Obama and Bush as well.

Hey man I thought the NFL had a policy against showing boobs on TV! Thank you I will take that one, audience! Back to impeachment. We talked about the witnesses in the first entry. For this entry I want to talk about the transcripts. You know Trump, like the broken record that he is, is insisting that we read the transcripts. Which we’re betting that he hasn’t. We’re also betting most of his supporters haven’t either.

The team of lawyers representing President Donald Trump in his Senate impeachment trial dove into their arguments in defense of the president on Monday, which they had previewed over the weekend.

Trump's lawyers condemned impeachment as partisan, and deployed some anticipated arguments to push against Democrats' allegations that Trump pressured Ukraine to open investigations into former Vice President Joe Biden and 2016 election interference.

They went after the House impeachment process, pushed back against additional witnesses and honed in on Hunter Biden's role in Ukraine.

Their day in the Senate came after reports surfaced that Trump's former national security adviser, John Bolton, had firsthand knowledge of a linking of investigations to nearly $400 million in military aid that was temporarily withheld by the administration.

Read the transcripts! Read the transcripts! Shut up! There’s no such thing as a “perfect” phone call, Trump. Only in your warped mind could that happen. But then again there’s a lot of things he says that don’t make sense. But come on, is there anything that Trump doesn’t lie about? Is there anything that his increasingly warped supporters won’t lie about?

President Donald Trump’s lawyers launched their defense Saturday morning with a blizzard of false claims.

It started with the president’s critical July 25th call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. White House Deputy Counsel Michael Purpura referred repeatedly to how what he called “the actual transcript” and “the real transcript” of this call led to an investigation that resulted in Trump’s impeachment. But the document Purpura quoted is not a transcript. It is a “memorandum of telephone conversation,” which means that it reflects the memories of aides who listened in, but may exclude significant parts of Trump and Zelensky’s conversation. Purpura should know the difference.

Trump and his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, are accused of withholding a White House meeting from Zelensky to try to force him to announce investigations into Vice President Joe Biden and his son Hunter, as well as an investigation into a false conspiracy theory that a Democratic National Committee server is secretly stored in Ukraine When that didn’t work, Trump is accused of withholding nearly $400 million in military aid to Ukraine to increase his leverage in forcing Zelensky to announce the probes.

Damn straight he does! And when it comes to impeachment, it’s not the transcript we’re interested in, and there’s no way that Hunter Biden did what Trump said he did. And how can we read the transcript when it’s being read under lock and key? Yeah no, that transcript it’s already been said and done, it’s this transcript that I’m interested in! Really, shut up, Trump. You’re fired.

"Fortunately, I released the transcript of the call. The transcript was perfectly accurate. And now everybody agrees because it went through a lot and they said, 'Well, could you add one word here?' Our lieutenant colonel said, 'Well, I think they should add...' -- they added the word. Everything -- everyone agrees the transcript is perfecto, done by total professionals, right?" -- January 16 exchange with reporters after remarks on prayer in public schools

Vindman testified that he had wanted to change the words "the company" to "Burisma," the company name he said Zelensky had used on his call with Trump. And Vindman testified that he had wanted to add in Trump saying "there are recordings" related to former Vice President Joe Biden and a Ukrainian prosecutor Biden had pushed Ukrainian leaders to fire. (Trump was vague about what he meant; in public comments last fall, Trump brought up a video of Biden at a 2018 event telling the story of his effort to get the prosecutor ousted.)

Vindman testified that the transcript was "substantively correct" even without the changes he had proposed. "When I first saw the transcript without the two substantive items that I had attempted to include, I didn't see that as nefarious. I just saw it as, OK, no big deal. You know, these might be meaningful, but it's not that big a deal," he told the House Intelligence Committee in November.

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[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
[br] [/font]

From: Idiots #8-6

Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Something random in the news!

The NY Post is reporting that an altercation occurred outside Brooklyn's popular Other Half Brewing Company late Friday night. And according to officials, it all had to do with a bunch of smack talk over craft beer.

Witnesses say they were in line overnight for a Saturday morning special release when a man and a woman began harassing them over their taste for pricy, hoppy beer. Several people in line told the NY Post that the couple were staying in a nearby Airbnb when they started mocking the beer lovers. This escalated back and forth to the point that some in line even threw folding chairs at the annoying twosome.

The Post says the the man and woman went back into the apartment for a while, only for the man to reemerge with a can of White Claw hard seltzer. Eager to show these beer snobs what a man's man drinks, the alleged intruder slammed back his drink and then allegedly threw it at those waiting in line. The taunts continued both ways until the Post says the man went back to the apartment and came back with a Glock 19.

Shocked witnesses in line say they called the police as they tried to deescalate the potentially dangerous situation. The man then put the gun away and went back inside. The NY Post says police quickly arrived, brought the man out in cuffs, confirmed his identity with witnesses, and then took him away.

Come on, if you’re going to tell a bunch of beer drinkers their product is crap, at least come back with something better than White Claw. That shit is basically La Croix mixed with alcohol mixed with tap water. Why not just chug some pure grain alcohol like Always Sunny In Philadelphia? Seriously, was Florida Man visiting Brooklyn? Spin it again! Talk shows! Folks, last week it was reported that Rush Limbaugh has potentially terminal lung cancer. Which prompted an outpouring of support from conservatives everywhere while Democrats were asking the question “Should we feel remorse for someone we hate?”. Well the answer to that one is a very complex one. And there’s no easy answer.

The conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh said on his live show on Monday that he had advanced lung cancer.

He told listeners that he had noticed some shortness of breath but was not experiencing symptoms at the moment, and that he would continue working but would be absent from the show for a couple of days to undergo testing and determine a treatment plan.

“I can’t help but feel that I’m letting everybody down with this, but the upshot is that I have been diagnosed with advanced lung cancer,” Mr. Limbaugh, 69, said during his broadcast. He added that he first realized something was wrong on Jan. 12 and that the diagnosis had been confirmed by two medical institutions on Jan. 20.

“My heart’s in great shape, ticking away fine, squeezing and pumping great,” he said. “It was not that. It was a pulmonary problem involving malignancy. So I’m going to be gone the next couple days as we figure out the treatment course of action and have further testing done. But as I said, I’m going to be here as often as I can.”

Now come on, who knew that Rush had a heart to begin with? Oh now we kid, that’s the kind of joke we actually can make. And here’s one that isn’t. OK so Rush Limbaugh has said an awful lot of shit in the last 30 years. Among his greatest hits, he’s gone on Carr mocked rape victims, trashed disabled war veterans and famously had that beef with Michael J. Fox after his Parkinsons diagnosis. But you know what we don’t do? We don’t wish death on people we don’t agree with, even if they are ugly people both on the outside and inside. Just wait for nature to take its’ course.

A Milwaukee Public Schools teacher was placed on leave Wednesday for tweeting that he hopes conservative talk show pundit Rush Limbaugh dies a painful death from cancer.

Travis Sarandos, who teaches English at Milwaukee High School of the Arts, has since deleted his Twitter account.

Replying to a different tweet expressing hope that Limbaugh would recover and begin advocating for affordable health care, Sarandos wrote: "limbaugh absolutely should have to suffer from cancer. it's awesome that he's dying, and hopefully it is as quick as it is painful."

It drew a small firestorm after conservative radio host Mark Belling blasted the tweet in his blog Tuesday.

Milwaukee Public Schools initially said in an email to the USA TODAY Network's Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that it was aware of the tweet, but that Sarandos was not speaking on behalf of the district or students or other staff. Hours later it confirmed he had been placed on leave pending an investigation.

Yeah no, we don’t encourage that kind of thing here. And if there’s one thing that you never, ever do, it’s piss off the cult. Because they will hold a grudge against you well into the next century. But here’s one thing that you should never, ever do – don’t ever, EVER celebrate that someone else has cancer, because it’s a shitty disease no matter who has it. And if you’re like the above teacher, really, there’s no time or place for that. Leave it to yourself.

Rush Limbaugh told his listeners on Monday that he has advanced lung cancer and, of course, social media lit up with partisan responses to the dire diagnosis revealed by America’s best known conservative radio talk show host.

This isn’t the first time Limbaugh has experienced hardship. It’s been reported that he was addicted to prescription drugs and he’s suffered a profound hearing loss, for example.

But cancer is something else altogether.

“This day has been one of the most difficult days in recent memory for me. I’ve known this moment is coming in the program,” Limbaugh said in comments quoted by national publications. “I’m sure that you all know by now that I really don’t like talking about myself and I don’t like making things about me. I like this program to be about you and the things that matter to all of us.”

We don’t know if Limbaugh’s diagnosis states that he has a short time left or if his situation is more hopeful than that. But we do know this, or at least we should: This news should not be met with celebration. It should not be met with laughter and high-fives. It should not be met with Twitter memes or wicked witch analogies.

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[font size="8"]Public Enemy Vs Bernie Sanders
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From: Idiots #8-9

There’s no debating that Bernie Sanders is arguably the most polarizing candidate of this or any presidential election cycle. Those that love Bernie, reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly love Bernie (see: Top 10 #8-7 ) and those that hate Bernie, well, they really hate him. I actually had the privilege of attending the rally in Los Angeles this week where the shit show between Public Enemy and long time collaborator and founding member Flavor Flav (FLAVOR FLAAAAAAAAAAV!!!!) clashed for what may be the final time in their career. I mean really if Bernie can’t keep Public Enemy together, how is he going to unite the country? Seriously, I’m asking for a friend. Although when you look at it, one wonders how Chuck D and Flavor Flav did anything together, let alone for 37 fucking years. That is a long ass time to do anything! So here’s what went down.

Rapper Chuck D has fired comical hypeman Flavor Flav from the iconic Long Island hip-hop group Public Enemy following long-simmering tensions and a dispute over participation in a rally for Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders.

"Public Enemy and Public Enemy Radio will be moving forward without Flavor Flav," a representative for the group and its spinoff said in a statement Sunday. "We thank him for his years of service and wish him well."

Flav, 59, born in Roosevelt and raised in Freeport, had sent a cease-and-desist letter to Sanders Friday objecting to "unauthorized use of his likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials circulated by the campaign." Posted by the online music magazine Pitchfork, the letter from Flav's attorney Matthew Friedman goes on to say, "While Chuck is certainly free to express his political views as he sees fit — his voice alone does not speak for Public Enemy. … [T]here is no Public Enemy without Flavor Flav."

In a statement to HipHopDX, Chuck D's attorney said, "From a legal standpoint, Chuck could perform as Public Enemy if he ever wanted to; he is the sole owner of the Public Enemy trademark. He originally drew the logo himself in the mid-80's, is also the creative visionary and the group's primary songwriter, having written Flavor's most memorable lines."

FLAVOR FLAV!!! Holy shit, I think the craziest thing about this story is that Flavor Flav is 59 years old, damn! That means that Public Enemy has been a band as long as I have been alive! But here’s where this story escalated quickly. Public Enemy states that their dispute with Flavor Flav wasn’t about politics. Uh, what? I mean it’s Chuck D, pretty much everything he does is about politics. Shit, I remember when he hosted that Air America show way back when that was a thing.

Rap group Public Enemy split with founder member Flavor Flav but said on Monday that the move had been a long time coming and was not because of a dispute over its performance at a rally for U.S. presidential contender Bernie Sanders.

“Public Enemy did not part ways with Flavor Flav over his political views,” co-founder Chuck D and four other members of the hip-hop group said in a statement.

The band said Flav has been suspended from Public Enemy since 2016 when he failed to show up at a benefit in Georgia for singer Harry Belafonte.

“That was the last straw for the group. He had previously missed numerous live gigs from Glastonbury to Canada, album recording sessions and photo shoots. He always chose to party over work,” the statement added.

Flav and Chuck D were founder members in 1985 of New York-based rappers Public Enemy, known for making music with a strong political message. Their 1988 album “It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back” is considered one of the genre’s most influential.

And in case Flavor Flav didn’t already regret this decision, well, he’s got a much different story than what Chuck D was telling the press. Now at this point you might be asking “HEY! Isn’t this supposed to be Top 10 *CONSERVATIVE* Idiots?”. And I answer you – this is my show, I get to talk about whatever the hell I want, damn it, and I was at this rally. So that said, here’s what Flavor Flav had to say.

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Flavor Flav isn’t taking his firing from Public Enemy lying down. The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer took to social media Monday to respond to news that he had been dismissed from the group, as well as several social media posts from co-founder Chuck D.

Flavor Flav was booted from the legendary hip hop act after the two sides engaged in a beef over Chuck D and other members of PE performing at a Bernie Sanders rally in Los Angeles under the name Public Enemy Radio.

Flavor Flav had issued a cease and desist letter to Sanders’ campaign, saying they were engaging in the “the unauthorized use of [Flavor Flav’s] likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials.”

This enraged Chuck D, who fired off several vicious posts on Twitter accusing Flavor Flav of being a drug addict who was desperate for money. Public Enemy then released an official statement saying, “Public Enemy and Public Enemy Radio will be moving forward without Flavor Flav,” the group said in a statement. “We thank him for his years of service and wish him well.”

Dude, seriously, Chuck D, you should have just given him a severance package and a gold watch, he’s probably already eligible for retirement. Hey come on, I kid. I’m not age shaming. But the disputes going between the two should probably stop. And Flavor Flav don’t do free benefits, that’s just the way he rolls. So who approved of what and where is this going? Well the answer is very polarizing.

On Wednesday, it was announced that Public Enemy would be performing at a Bernie Sanders rally this Sunday in Los Angeles ahead of Super Tuesday. However, not everyone in the legendary group is on board.

In a cease and desist letter obtained by SPIN, Flavor Flav, through his attorney Matthew H. Friedman of the Las Vegas law firm Ford & Friedman, accused the Sanders campaign of using the Public Enemy name and “likeness, image and trademarked clock in promotional materials” without his permission.

He went on to say that the Sanders campaign created “a false narrative” that the legendary rap group is supporting him. Flav said it is just Chuck D. performing at the Los Angeles Convention Center on Sunday.

“Sanders has promised to ‘Fight the Power’ with hip hop icons Public Enemy – but this Rap Icon will not be performing at the Sanders Rally,” the letter read. “To be clear Flav and, by extension, the Hall of Fame hip hop act Public Enemy with which his likeness and name have become synonymous has not endorsed any political candidate in this election cycle and any suggestion to the contrary is plainly untrue. The continued publicizing of this grossly misleading narrative is, at a minimum, careless and irresponsible if not intentionally misleading.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Coronavirus Disinformation
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The coronavirus has upended our way of life as we know it. As such, people are looking for any way we can return to some kind of normalcy before this virus ravaged civilization around the globe. The fact is that this is a pandemic the likes of which we have never seen. But before we can gain a sense of our normal life the way it was before the pandemic happened, we need a vaccine. And because we need a vaccine, and a good 65% of the entire world needs it before it can be considered eradicated, there’s obviously going to be some detractors. So where is the Coronavirus misinformation campaign coming from and why is it out to destroy us? It could be worse than the virus itself.

The crippling spread of COVID-19 across the globe has progressed in parallel with a flood of information online relating to the pandemic. The World Health Organization branded that spread as an "infodemic" earlier this year.

The "infodemic" has highlighted the importance of readers identifying false information about the coronavirus and those who might be spreading it.

Here's a look at potential sources of false information and a few quick embedded tips to deal with it.

If you have to remember one thing, always consider the source of the information. Ask yourself: Is the information from a trusted and authoritative entity? If not, then you should proceed with caution.

ABC News took a look at the different types of people spreading false coronavirus information and their motivations for doing so.

Yes, we will probably all be acting like Mr. Burns for the foreseeable future. But like all bad things, the war on the truth about what coronavirus is really doing to us is coming from Facebook. Now Facebook like all social media sites, has an obligation to police the content on its’ site. But considering that conservatives are declaring war on sites like Facebook for “bias”, then this is what the sites are really doing.

In January 2020, Facebook executives began paying attention to a new coronavirus spreading across the globe. The virus was deadly and highly contagious, and when the World Health Organization shared guidance about it, the company’s leadership dropped their typically hands-off approach to misinformation.

“We decided we would remove content that directly contradicted [the WHO] and could contribute to risk of imminent physical harm,” Monika Bickert, Facebook’s head of global policy management, told BuzzFeed News.

Say “social distancing doesn’t work” or “wearing a mask can make you sick” on Facebook, and the company will direct its moderators to remove your post. A move of this scale is unprecedented for a company that has sought to keep itself out of battles over the truth, but Facebook has removed hundreds of thousands of posts violating this policy already, according to Bickert, and reduced distribution on tens of millions of others.

Though Facebook has removed some health-related misinformation in the past, the company’s decision, although enforced spottily, to side with science has thrust it into new ground. Removing coronavirus misinformation could make its largely hands-off approach to other harm-causing misinformation — such as on climate denialism and anti-vaccine advocacy — harder to defend. It will also place Facebook squarely in the middle of a political battle in the US, where the not widely shared opposition to social distancing and masks break along party lines.

But in fact the misinformation campaign surrounding coronavirus may be as bad and infectious as the virus itself. And that’s not a good thing because what we don’t know about this virus and how it behaves can be just as prevalent as what we do know. The thing is, this is a new virus the likes of which we have never seen and the fact that it can infect a good majority of the people on this earth is bad. The disinformation campaign will make it even worse than it already is.

The COVID-19 pandemic has been equally defined by how much we don’t know as how much we do. That vacuum has been quickly filled with bullshit. The United Nations secretary-general has warned we’re living through “a pandemic of misinformation,” and the head of the World Health Organization said it’s an “infodemic.” In the midst of battling a global health emergency, we find ourselves fending off another scourge of conspiracy theories and misinformation.

It certainly feels like there’s a lot of fake news swirling around about the coronavirus, but how does it compare to another major misinformation magnet: the 2016 election? Research on coronavirus misinformation is largely limited to public opinion surveys and preprint research that has yet to be peer-reviewed. But when we compare those preliminary findings to research on the 2016 election, they suggest that more people are seeing — and believing — misinformation now, and it may have something to do with the challenge of understanding a new disease.

Measuring exactly how much bunk is out there to begin with is a challenge, in part because so much misinformation is shared through social media, said Gordon Pennycook, a behavioral psychologist at Canada’s University of Regina who studies fake news. It’s possible to measure, for instance, the number of tweets linking to specific fake news websites, but no way to see every instance a particular false claim is made on Facebook, especially when those claims can take many forms, including memes, Pennycook said.

That’s about what the virus disinformation campaign is like. If you see it on social media, and you’re pretty sure that it’s bullshit, chances are good that it most likely is. Also, just like your neighbor’s frothing at the mouth pro-Trump rantings on his social media page, the worst of it is coming from bot accounts designed to spread misinformation. And as we’ve said, the misinformation campaign is probably as bad as the disease itself. Just don’t fall for it.

About half of the Twitter accounts pushing misinformation about COVID-19 and calling for "reopening America" may be bots, researchers at Carnegie Mellon University said Wednesday. The tweets appear to be aiming to sow division and increase polarization during the pandemic.

"Conspiracy theories increase polarization in groups. It's what many misinformation campaigns aim to do," Kahtleen Carley, a computer science professor, said in a statement about the ongoing research. "People have real concerns about health and the economy, and people are preying on that to create divides."

She warned that the misinformation "will have a variety of real-world consequences, and play out in things like voting behavior and hostility towards ethnic groups."

Since January, the researchers have collected more than 200 million tweets discussing COVID-19 and coronavirus. They found that 82% of the top 50 influential retweets are bots, and 62% of the top 1,000 retweeters are bots, too.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #8-3

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Amherst! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know we talk a lot of crap about super right wing Christian fundamentalists but there’s people like this in every religion. And the war is the same – it’s traditional vs modern. And I say this because there’s a group of let’s say old men, in this country who do not embrace change. Take for instance our good friends in the Catholic Church. Now don’t boo. Don’t boo. The Catholic Church has long looked to overturn this barbaric practice of priests and celibacy. And it’s a fight that goes back centuries. But while they’ve made great strides with Pope Francis, a former pope, Pope Benedict, has stepped in and well, he’s got some thoughts.

Retired Pope Benedict XVI, who promised to remain silent when he resigned as head of the Roman Catholic Church seven years ago, has stepped back into the ongoing debate over priestly celibacy with a new book defending the traditionalist view.

The surprise move is seen as a rebuke to Pope Francis, who is weighing the possibility of a revolutionary move to relax the strict celibacy requirement for ordination in some South American countries where the shortage of priests is particularly acute.

In the as-yet-unpublished book, whose title translates as From the Depths of Our Hearts, Benedict and his co-author, Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah, defend the "necessity" of celibacy in the priesthood. On Sunday, the French newspaper Le Figaro printed excerpts, which were also obtained by The Associated Press.

"The priesthood of Jesus Christ causes us to enter into a life that consists of becoming one with him and renouncing all that belongs only to us," the pope emeritus writes. "For priests, this is the foundation of the necessity of celibacy but also of liturgical prayer, meditation on the Word of God and the renunciation of material goods."

Yes, Pope Benedict, you might want to sit this one out. And I’ve seen Spotlight, I know what goes on behind closed confessional booths. So you’re booing me now. Ah, so now the tables have turned, haven’t they? But this war goes deep, my fair congregation. So deep that it could have some devastating long term effects on the Vatican itself.

At the beginning of the week, the insider Catholic universe imploded when news broke that retired Pope Benedict XVI and Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah had co-authored a new book defending priestly celibacy just as Pope Francis is considering an exception to the rule proposed during the Amazon synod.

In the fierce and polemical debate that ensued, the role of a pope emeritus was questioned while Catholicism’s conservative and progressive camps exchanged arguments over Benedict XVI’s intentions with the book, titled From the Depths of Our Hearts: Priesthood, Celibacy and the Crisis of the Catholic Church, which hit shelves Jan. 15 in France.

The saga culminated with Archbishop Georg Ganswein, personal secretary for Benedict XVI, saying the emeritus pope had asked that his name be withdrawn as a coauthor and removed from the book’s introduction and conclusion. Citing the Chicago Manual of Style, however, the English-language publisher, Ignatius Press, said it considers the publication “coauthored.”

Though unprecedented is perhaps the wrong word to describe the bizarre episode, it was certainly odd, as Sarah, an active sitting cardinal who heads the Vatican’s liturgy office, took to social media to defend his credibility, issuing several statements and publishing correspondence between himself and Benedict - things that heads of Vatican departments don’t typically do.

And by the way in case you’re wondering if the Catholic Church is in full “move along, nothing to see here” mode, whew, oh boy are they ever. But really Pope Benedict, you might want to sit this one out, especially after new allegations are surfacing against priests and abuse. The only real crisis here is that there’s a bunch of abusers and they are showing no remorse for the victims that they abused. Pope Francis is trying to steer the church in a much more modern tradition.

The Vatican on Monday sought to downplay the decision by retired Pope Benedict XVI to reaffirm the “necessity” of a celibate priesthood at the same time that Pope Francis is considering ordaining married men, calling his book a mere contribution that was written in full obedience to Francis.

The Vatican’s editorial director, Andrea Tornielli, penned an editorial that sought to put Benedict’s bombshell book in the context of a continuity between the two popes. He noted that Francis, too, has upheld the “gift” of priestly celibacy and refused to make it optional across the board.

The French daily Le Figaro late Sunday published excerpts of the book “From the Depths of Our Hearts: Priesthood, Celibacy and the Crisis of the Catholic Church," co-authored with conservative Cardinal Robert Sarah; The Associated Press obtained galleys of the English edition, which is being published Feb. 20 by Ignatius Press.

Benedict’s intervention was extraordinary, given he had promised to remain “hidden from the world” when he retired in 2013, and pledged his obedience to the new pope. He has largely held to that pledge, though he penned an odd essay last year that blamed the sexual abuse crisis on the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

That is a good point Reverend, but we’ll save that for a different sermon. Because I’m sure that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want! And really by the way, give it up for my choir, how great are they? So if the Catholic Church can’t get it together on priests and marriage, what can they get it together on? Well don’t expect them to come to a conclusion anytime soon.

Former pope Benedict XVI has publicly urged his successor Pope Francis not to open the Catholic priesthood up to married men, in a plea that Sunday stunned Vatican experts.

The ex-pontiff, who retired in 2013, issued the defence of clerical celibacy in a book written with arch-conservative Cardinal Robert Sarah, extracts of which were published in exclusive by France's Le Figaro.

"I cannot keep silent!" Benedict wrote in the book, which follows an extraordinary meeting of bishops from the Amazonian at the Vatican last year that recommended the ordination of married men in certain circumstances.

The pope emeritus, 92, and Sarah from Guinea weighed in on the controversial question of whether or not to allow "viri probati" -- married "men of proven virtue" -- to join the priesthood.

Francis is currently considering allowing it in remote locations, such as the Amazon, where communities seldom have Mass due to a lack of priests, and is expected to publish his decision in the coming weeks.

Yes so if we learned anything during our sermon today, just about everything is a sin, and this might be one of the most egregious of all! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Your Favorite Celebrity Is Over
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From: Idiots #8-15

Can you really be over your favorite celebrity? Well there’s plenty of reasons why you should, and also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. What makes this even weirder is that these celebrities who are “over” are being cherry picked and for ridiculously crazy reasons. But what you might not know is that the forces that are driving these social media trends aren’t. Like all bad things, this trend got hijacked by bots pushing Korean pop videos and trying to downplay American culture. But what you might not know is where this originated from. This entire thing started when Nicki Minaj decided to ditch her record label and hold an “Atlantic Records Is Over” party.

They really didn't have to snap this hard - or did they?

Fans of Nicki Minaj put Atlantic Records on blast over the weekend when they accused the music giant of misconduct against their artists - again. While the origins of Saturday's resurfaced shambles are still questionable, it was definitely the Barbz that made #AtlanticRecordsOverParty the number-one trending topic in the entertainment category.

Atlantic, a subsidiary of Warner, planted its deep roots in jazz almost over 70 years ago with the likes of Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and Otis Redding - so, this might be THE longest trail we've ever been down, it's absolutely littered with similar allegations.

We can't find any other outlets covering Minaj's indirectly-direct relationship to this newest edition of #AtlanticRecordsIsOverParty (or even the topic in general). What we did find was a bit of the backstory.

It's still a little funny to see Minaj's name credited with that of Cardi B's in the same song title. After their 2017 collab with MotorSport, Cardi told a UK press outlet that Minaj's original verse was "not the verse that is out there right now." Hearing this, Minaj called Cardi out for not telling the whole story.

God can you imagine what would happen if Nicki Minaj and Cardi B got together in the same room? I can imagine there will be lots of yelling and bling comparisons, followed by which tiny purse dog is better than the other one. Now you would think this hashtag would end there. But oh no, just like a certain virus, it spread. And it spread to a whole bunch of different celebrities. Like Demi Lovato for instance!

It seems like there have been multiple attempts to "cancel" Demi Lovato, and the latest "Demi Lovato is Over Party" broke out over recent comments the singer made regarding Selena Gomez on a private Instagram account.

Previously, Demi was "canceled" by everyone on the internet for orchestrating the sexual assault of one of her private bodyguards as a "joke" by sending an escort to his room to engage in some funny business.

People didn't find the humor in Demi's "gag" and began calling her out for not only mistreating an employee but "trivializing rape" by merely calling it the "meanest prank" she ever pulled.

There's tons of other instances where people were ready to "pull the plug" on supporting Demi forever. But you know how the world of Twitter outrage works, at the end of the day.

For the most part, people latch on to something they're pretending to be furious about for a few hours, get said topic trending, then once that fizzles out, they jump onto the next issue to be upset about. The satisfaction seems to come from tweeting about how upset you are, rather than, you know, actually doing anything about it in real life, for the most part.

Yeah so chalk this up to a dose of fake outrage and people who clearly don’t get the idea of what they are talking about. Now that’s the female side of this equation. What about the male side of this equation – let’s look at Adam Driver, the star of the recent string of Star Wars films. Is he over? Oh you had better believe that he’s over!

While social media has mostly been smitten with Kylo Ren actor Adam Driver for his appearances in Star Wars, Marriage Story, and his stints on Saturday Night Live, some people turned against the Hollywood star because of his military service with the United States Marine Corps. A Twitter hashtag claimed #AdamDriverIsOver because some users disagreed with his reasons for serving in the military, but it didn't take long for fans to come to the actor's defense.

All of it stems from Driver's decision to join the Marines and people taking seemingly out of context quotes and reading way too deep into offhand information to distill a person's entire life story down to one decision, and of course fans getting entirely too worked up over what other people are saying about their favorite celebrity.

It all comes out because Drive ended up joining the United States Marine Corps shortly after the September 11th attacks in 2001, serving nearly three years in the Marines before being medically discharged due to a dislocated sternum. After his time in the Marines, Driver got into the Julliard School and...well, the rest is history. An iconic run on Star Wars later and now he's one of the most sought-after actors in all of Hollywood.

Really? You’re mad that Adam Driver joined the Marines in his early life? No wonder that guy looks like he could kill you more ways than John Wick. Or how about another unlikely celebrity to get tangled up in all of this mess – Brendan Urie? You know him as the lead singer and performer of Panic! At The Disco, but did you know that he made some transphobic remarks in the early days of PATD? Well, neither did we! And he’s famous for playing a drag performer in “Kinky Boots”!

In the thread, @dinasapphic posted a video from a past concert in which Brendon states: "I wish I was born black so I could wear the clothes I wear without getting made fun of." He then states that black people are able to wear whatever they want but white people aren't.

There is also a video in the thread in which Brendon says to a crowd that he wants to "fuck them whether they want him to or not", comments in which he compares Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans to Rachel Dolezal claiming she's black and a snippet from an old interview in which he uses a transphobic slur.

Given that many of these comments were made years ago, Panic! fans have rushed to defend Brendon and argue that he's changed and these remarks no longer represent him. In the case of the transphobic slur, Brendon apologised for it in his Twitch livestream. He said: "I am so deeply sorry. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised how hurtful that word is."

A Panic! fan tweeted: "brendon urie is trending for shit he’s done years ago again. i’m not gonna get in on it much but it’s obvious he has changed and he has apologized for all the stuff he’s said in the past. ffs just fucking drop it and move on. focus on the present, not the past. #weloveyoubrendon" [sic].

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment where we delve into the latest coming from the minds of the seriously depraved, it’s Conspiracy Corner! I am not at the Top 10 headquarters in Anaheim, California. Instead I am coming to you live from a doomsday prepper shelter in the middle of western Iowa. Why Iowa? Why not? There’s plenty of corn fields which makes the possibility of an underground bunker all the more conspicuous! Just let me adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference… ah, there we go! Well this week, in the middle of all the insanity coming from the protests, a new movement has been birthed! And it’s not a movement any of us would want. Because it involves angry white guys with long beards, Hawaiian shirts, some giant machine guns, and a good healthy dose of MAGA pride! What do they call this movement? They call it “The Boogaloo Movement”. Yes, you read that right!

A new movement of armed, far-right adherents is gaining attention in the United States, not just for its seemingly strange name, but for its alleged links to the violence that has taken place across the country following largely peaceful protests over police brutality.

Adherents of the loosely organised "Boogaloo" movement appear to believe in armed, anti-government actions that could lead to a second US civil war.

While it is impossible, authorities say, to point to a singular group for the unrest that has come as part of protests against the police killing of George Floyd, officials claim that much of the violence can be pinned on "outside agitators" who are seeking to distract from the main message of the demonstrations.

One movement authorities have blamed is the Boogaloo movement. On June 4, three men who allegedly belong to the Boogaloo movement were arrested in Las Vegas, Nevada, on charges related to "terrorism" and involving plots to accelerate violence at protests.
What's in the name?

The "Boogaloo" movement, a newcomer grouping, is hard to label but exists largely on the far-right of the political spectrum, and has aims to accelerate the US towards a second civil war.

Its members, known as "Boogaloo Boys" or "Boogaloo Bois", are typically seen with assault rifles and tactical gear. Some adherents of the movement have also been spotted in Hawaiian shirts in recent days, according to reports, though not all wear them.

Yes, if you see these guys show up at your local protest, just be aware. They’re not there to dance and sing Kumbaya, they’re there to stir some shit up! So you might be asking yourself – what kind of weapons and artillery are these guys carrying? Well, just like their beers, the Boogaloo Bois… yes, I am being told by my producer that is how they spell their name… They like their guns as long as their beards.

In addition to attending recent marches against police brutality around the country, Boogaloo followers have made their presence known at rallies demanding the end to stay-at-home orders imposed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Adherents are relatively easy to spot. All carry long guns. Many wear Hawaiian shirts under body armor or black shirts with “Big Igloo” or “Big Luau” patches.

Hawaiian shirts have been worn by military Special Forces overseas as a symbol that they are American and will continue to do their military duty no matter where they are, according to Burghart.

“They have stolen that, as they have their whole regalia and their appearance,” he said. “They think that by putting on the costume, that makes them Special Forces. Perhaps they’ve spent too much time playing Call of Duty,” he said, referring to the militaristic video game.

The similar-sounding terms Big Igloo and Big Luau sprung up as a way to circumvent social media moderators trying to prevent incendiary posts that use “boogaloo,” according to researchers.

Man remember the good old days when luaus used to mean giant roasted pigs, bon fires, and Hawaiian ukulele music? Well, now the far right has ruined that image, just like everything else good that they’ve taken a colossal dump on. But just remember if they show up at your protests, they’re not there to do a hula dance. They’re there to fuck some serious shit up! Especially when their supposed enemy has been defined by the president, though it’s not even clear who that is!

President Donald Trump and his allies have sought to blame left-wing extremists for the violence and looting at U.S. protests over police brutality while local authorities and watchdog groups have pointed to the threat posed by right-wing movements.

A recent U.S. intelligence assessment reviewed by Reuters this week said most of the violence at protests appears to have been driven by opportunists. But the assessment also said there was some evidence that organized extremists were tied to violence or promoting it online.

President Donald Trump and some fellow Republicans have sought to blame the left-wing anti-fascist Antifa movement but have presented little evidence.

Liberal watchdog groups and some local authorities have warned that members of the anti-government “boogaloo” movement or white supremacist groups could infiltrate protests.

Federal prosecutors filed charges this week against three alleged boogaloo members accused of plotting to cause violence and destruction at Las Vegas protest.

So it may not be Antifa at all who are the agitators of this thing. Yes, Antifa is a mysterious organization with no central leadership who generally shows up at protests to beat the shit out of groups like the Proud Boys and Patriot Prayer. But the real agitators are these big burly white manliest males who ever maled wearing Hawaiian shirts and carrying big machine guns. Those are the people who you need to watch out for! Until then I think I will stay here in my underground bunker until the dust settles!

COLUMBIA, S.C. — The Richland County Sheriff's Department has made a fifth arrest of an alleged 'agitator' at a protest that turned violent in downtown Columbia Saturday.

Joshua Barnard, 24, faces charges of breaking into a car, looting, larceny, aggravated breach of peace and instigating a riot.

Authorities say Barnard is the man caught on camera Saturday stealing a police jacket while wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt.

Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott says that attire could be associated with a violent anti-government resistance radical group that calls themselves the 'Boogaloo Bois'.

"The Washington Post had a big article yesterday about men in Hawaiian shirts showing up to these protests," said Lott in a press conference Thursday.

Lott believes Barnard, given his actions and attire at Saturday's protest, could be involved.

"There's a lot of information that he could be a part of the Boogaloo organization," said Lott. "It's a very radical group. Their mission is to create a new civil war."

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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From: Idiots #8-5

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And as such whenever we visit the great state of Florida, we have to do a special all Florida man edition of People Are Dumb. Look, Florida, we kid. But you do bring the crazy extra hard. And before we get into this, I want to give a shout out to the @Floridaman_ Twitter feed that really just goes beyond to keep track of all the crazy happening in the Sunshine State. Let’s start with this story out of Miami. Sigh here’s the thing people, we may hate Trump here and everything that he stands for. But let’s condone any acts of violence against him or his properties or the people in them. That said, this story has some of everything that makes Florida insane and weird.

A Connecticut woman chastised for dancing on her car at a Palm Beach hotel late Friday morning ended up driving away and crashing her vehicle through two security barricades outside Mar-a-Lago, President Donald Trump’s private club and home, drawing gunfire from law enforcement officers, before leading a police helicopter on a chase that ended in her arrest.

Hannah Roemhild, 30, a trained opera singer, is now in the custody of the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

“This is not a terrorist thing,” Palm Beach Sheriff Ric Bradshaw said at a Friday afternoon news conference. “This is somebody that obviously was impaired somehow.”

Roemhild could face charges for assault on both federal and county law enforcement officers, Bradshaw said. No one was injured, although the situation might have easily ended differently, officials indicated.

Trump was not at Mar-a-Lago at the time, but he was expected to arrive at the club Friday evening. The White House said the fracas would not disrupt the president’s travel plans.

That’s right, Dude! Next up, we go to the city of Orlando for this one. And here’s the thing, if you don’t have anything creative to write when you’re hammered and you’ve got a can of spray paint, maybe the best thing to do is just walk away. But not for this guy who painted – I shit you not – the word “slur” on the bathroom wall. This is a thing that happened!

A Florida man who spray painted the word "slur" in a bar bathroom was found with spray cans still in his backpack, according to the Melbourne Police Department.

Police said a witness saw Paul Scott, 24, walk into the men's restroom at Mugs Pub Sunday night with his backpack and when he left, there was wet pink paint on the wall that read, "slur."

When police approached Scott, they said he initially told them he had been in the bar for about 15 minutes and during that time, he had one beer before an employee asked him to leave.

According to authorities, they could hear the sound of aluminum cans coming from Scott's backpack and when they searched it, they found spray paint bottles, and an empty bottle that was still wet, in the same shade of pink as the graffiti inside the restroom.

Next up, we’re going to stay in the city of Orlando – what’s up with Orlando this week? They’re taking double doses of crazy pills! Anyway, I don’t know much about boating, nor will I claim to know anything about boating, but I’m pretty sure this is not how the gas tank on a boat is supposed to operate. But it’s also probably best not to get the fire department involved in your own stupidity as well.

Mistakenly inserting a fuel nozzle into a fishing pole slot, a Florida man pumped $60 worth of gasoline onto the deck of his boat and the ground of a gas station, fire rescue officials said.

The incident happened Monday in the Orlando area, Orange County Fire Rescue spokesman Mike Jachles said on Twitter.

The gas flowed from the fishing pole hole and onto the deck of the 24-foot (7.3 meters) boat. The 31-year-old man realized his mistake and quit pumping.

As he tried to clean up the mess, the gasoline began leaking from the boat onto the ground at the 7-Eleven store. He told personnel and then called the fire department's non-emergency number, Jachles said.

A technical rescue team siphoned the gas from the boat and cleaned up. The situation was described as a “level 3 hazmat,” meaning the potential of hazard was high, Jachles said.

Unless of course you have it inserted in the wrong hole. Yes, thank you sir! That’s what she said! Finally – we go to South Florida and the city of Fort Lauderdale for this one. So we’ve all been the victims of credit and debit card fraud at some point. Because there’s a lot of sleazebags out there to get their hands on your data. But this next story asks a lot of questions, namely, how does one spend $68 at Little Caesars?

A Florida man has been accused of using a Marshfield woman's debit card to purchase $68 in Little Caesar's pizza.

According to to a Marshfield Police Department police report, Elle Wolf of Marshfield had a transaction on her bank statement from a Fort Lauderdale, Florida Little Caesar's location without her consent.

The report says the unidentified Florida man purchased one bacon wrapped deep dish pizza, three stuffed crust pizzas, and three orders of Caesar wings and had delivered to his address via Door Dash.

The charge of $68.80 currently has a process hold on the charge at Wolf's financial institution.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.21: Joe & Bernie
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From: Idiots #8-4

Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! Where we combine all the news, issues, polls, and candidates you care about! We are exactly one month down, we have 11 long, grueling, and fucking insane months to go before we elect the next president of the United States. And we had an entirely different entry planned this week. But over the weekend, Joe Rogan started trending and it was because of his “all-in” support for Vermont Senator and old man trying to send back soup in a deli, Bernie Sanders. Yes, thank George Costanza for that line. But do you welcome a guy into the party who some have called “The Gateway Drug To The Alt Right”? Yes, Joe Rogan commands one of the biggest troll armies in the world and he’s been known to cheat, harass, and slam people online who he doesn’t agree with, and is part of the reason why our culture has become so toxic. So, what’s up?

Bernie Sanders is facing a backlash from some Democrats after his campaign trumpeted an endorsement from comedian Joe Rogan, a popular podcast and YouTube talk show host with a history of making racist, homophobic and transphobic comments.

The Sanders campaign touted the endorsement in a tweet on Thursday afternoon, featuring a clip of Rogan's supportive remarks.

"I think I'll probably vote for Bernie. Him as a human being, when I was hanging out with him, I believe in him, I like him, I like him a lot," Rogan said on an earlier episode of his show.

"What Bernie stands for is a guy -- look, you could dig up dirt on every single human being that's ever existed if you catch them in their worst moment and you magnify those moments and you cut out everything else and you only display those worst moments. That said, you can't find very many with Bernie. He's been insanely consistent his entire life. He's basically been saying the same thing, been for the same thing his whole life. And that in and of itself is a very powerful structure to operate from."

Rogan, a libertarian-leaning broadcaster with a public persona in the mold of Howard Stern, is a divisive figure who has said the N-word on his show and in 2013 questioned -- using offensive language -- whether a transgender MMA fighter should be able to compete against other women.

That is a good point Bernie! So is Joe Rogan a guy who you really want on your side? He’s a bit racist, extremely misogynistic, and commands a troll army that would dwarf the one that is owned by glorious dictator Vladimir Putin. And if you want to know some of Rogan’s greatest hits, well, let’s take this time to go down the wormhole, shall we?

Sanders has received scrutiny for the endorsement after his campaign circulated a video touting Rogan’s support.

“He’s basically been saying the same thing his whole life. And that in and of itself is very a powerful structure to operate from,” Rogan said in the clip.

The comedian has come under fire for past comments insulting a range of groups, including the transgender community and African Americans.

"We get out. We’re giggling, 'We’re going to go see "Planet of the Apes." We walk into 'Planet of the Apes.' We walked into Africa," Rogan said in a 2013 podcast clip that was resurfaced after his endorsement before clarifying that there were "no white people in the theater."

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) also called on Sanders to renounce Rogan’s endorsement, specifically citing Rogan’s past comments.

So here’s the thing – do we include Joe Rogan’s die hard fans in the mix or do we not? I mean at one point the guy was called “the gateway drug to the Alt Right”. And that is a label that nobody under any circumstances should be strapped with. But his raunchy behavior and a tendency to ignore rules and all sense of common decency aside, do we include them in the party or not? He could be the key to defeating Trump and sending this administration packing, or not.

Survey data suggests that at least 25 percent of self-identified Democrats, and perhaps as much as 40 percent, hold explicitly racist views like “blacks are lazy.” Among independents—voters Democratic candidates repeatedly insist they must appeal to—those beliefs are even more common. Nearly half of Republicans are willing to tell pollsters that blacks are more violent than whites—and almost all of them voted for Donald Trump. No candidate has a base consisting entirely of people with enlightened, progressive views. Whether they realize it or not, all Democratic politicians count on people who hold both sympathetic and terrible views.

For the past year, Joe Biden has consistently done two things: led polling for the Democratic nomination and underwhelmed in campaigning for it. His appeal is based largely on “electability,” the pseudoscientific notion that he alone can win by appealing to Republicans, independents, and the all-important “white working class.”

The same Democratic and liberal voices that tout this as an asset in Biden (or, to a lesser extent, Pete Buttigieg, whose Indiana roots supposedly mean rural Midwesterners will like him) are apoplectic over the endorsement of Bernie Sanders by the meat-headed podcaster Joe Rogan. Rogan’s excruciating show, The Joe Rogan Experience, regularly features guests with awful beliefs, including white supremacists, and the host has a track record of racist, transphobic, homophobic, and misogynistic comments. As one prominent Sanders supporter, Princeton professor Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor, noted, it is crucial not to condone, disregard, or make excuses for those bad politics.

Oh come on people stop rabbling! Yeah Joe Rogan has a track record and a history of being a boorish buffoon reminiscent of your average Trump supporter. But let’s face facts – beating Trump should be our number one priority and we can’t keep fighting with ourselves if we’re going to beat him. We must unite damn it! And if we have to include Rogan supporters in the mix, so be it!

Joe Rogan is one of the most popular podcasters in America. He interviews celebrities, politicians, intellectuals and other public figures on an eponymous show. (Years ago, he also hosted Fear Factor.)

Sen. Bernie Sanders is running for president and is one of the leading candidates to challenge President Donald Trump in November.

Last week, Rogan essentially endorsed Sanders. The Sanders campaign quickly turned that into a viral video, seeing it as a key boost with Rogan’s millions of listeners, some of whom do not fall into Sanders’ traditional base of progressive voters.

But this is where things get more complicated and more controversial.

Soon after Rogan voiced his support, some began calling on Sanders, 78, to refuse the endorsement and denounce Rogan. They expressed dismay over Sanders’ decision to use Rogan’s quotes in a piece of official social media marketing.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Why are people in Iowa protesting outside Joe Biden’s office? We will analyze this and much more coming out of Iowa.

See you next week!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jun 10, 2020, 05:01 PM (2 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-19: Nobody Cared Who I Was Until I Put On The Mask Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-19: Nobody Cared Who I Was Until I Put On The Mask Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sigh we are finally at the end of the 8th season everybody and this unfortunately is not the sendoff it deserves but we finally got there! How’s everyone doing from home? Yeah we’re going stir crazy too. I really can’t wait to leave this void and get back out on the road and do some Top 10s the way we used to. Of course we’ll start out small – work the crowd from our new home at the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank. And then we hopefully will branch out and start touring some of the other venues in California when touring permits. Do we have time for the thing? You sad that all your calendar events got canceled because of the shithead virus that’s ravaging everything? Me too. I lost a lot of money on events that I had, including two this last weekend. But some good news - Yeah we finally have something to look forward to everybody!!! I mean finally! In the sea of just bad news and shit hitting the fan, we finally have a light at the end of the tunnel of cancelations! And it’s a movie that I am very much looking forward to – Christopher Nolan’s latest magnum opus Tenant. Which of course is a movie about racing against time to save the world, and boy does our world need saving right now! But when does it come out? Nobody knows, because people don’t know when theaters are going to reopen. But we finally have something on the horizon that’s not being cancelled! Boy that is a sight for sore eyes! Finally! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back and he discusses the possibility that there’s another virus out there destroying everything it touches:

So far nothing this year has turned out the way we wanted. At least we’re getting a season finale even if it’s not what we expected. I mean come on it’s an election year! Taking the top slot this week, the guy who should be leading by example is our president, Donald J. Trump (1) and well, he isn’t, in his refusal to wear a mask in public. In the second slot this week, we’re going to talk about ways to reopen the country safely (2). Of course this is American and we don’t like being told what to do, so it’s every one for themselves! Taking the third slot this week is the Lockdown Protests (3), or as we’re calling this piece, “Lockdown Palace”. Yeah the protestors are getting crazier and scarier and we’re in for some insane times ahead this year. In the fourth slot this week is Q Anon Supporters (4) – is there a very real possibility that a Q supporter could win a Senate Seat? Oh yes there is, and be afraid, be very afraid. Taking the fifth slot this week is a new edition of our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5). This week did NASA discover a parallel universe where time runs backwards and the laws of physics are upside down? We will investigate! Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6). This week – congregations all across America and the world are figuring out ways to reopen safely amid the pandemic, and our resident pastor is going to go over which is which! In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). And singer Lana Del Rey is no stranger to controversy, but is she advocating that there’s a double standard among women in music? Controversy alert!!! In the 8th slot this week we have a new edition of the segment that debunks conspiracy theories – Conspiracy Corner (8)! People, stop destroying 5G cell phone towers! They’re not giving you Coronavirus! Stop it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we have a new “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week we’re going to give you an update on the College Admissions Scandal known as “Operation: Varsity Blues”! I don’t want your life! Finally this week it’s The Stupidest State Championship! Michigan vs Florida. One of these states will win it all! The champagne is on ice! And I know we can’t give this season the proper sendoff it deserves with a band and live audience, but we will have a performance from one of my favorites, Australia’s King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump Vs The Mask
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Hey kids! Gather around! It’s time for another edition of Goofus Vs. Gallant! Though in this case, the role of Gallant is being played by our future 46th president and the embodiment of what a real leader of the free world should look and act like, Joseph Biden. Meanwhile, the part of Goofus, will be played by our current 45th president and the guy who is a bumbling dumbass who always makes the wrong decision no matter what the scenario is, and that’s Donald J. Trump. In short, don’t be like Goofus. Look, nobody likes wearing these masks. And I do mean nobody. But as long as this god forsaken virus is still a thing, we have to. The latest on this insanity.

President Donald Trump on Thursday did not wear a mask for coronavirus protection during the public part of touring a Ford Motor Co. plant in Michigan, despite a state law and company policy requiring facial coverings there.

Trump, who has consistently refused to wear a mask in public, was visiting Ford’s Rawsonville Components Plant in Ypsilanti, which has a policy of requiring masks there. The plant is currently making ventilators in response to the Covid-19 pandemic in the United States.

Video showed Trump on the factory floor talking to Ford executives who were wearing masks.

“Not necessary,” Trump said, when a reporter asked why he was not wearing a facial covering.

“Everybody’s been tested and I’ve been tested.”

Yes, nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask! Of course nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask either! Hey o! of course that’s the kind of joke that would kill in front of a live audience, which I wish I had right now! So that’s how Goofus would handle the situation. Now let’s see how Gallant, aka Joe Biden, would handle the situation. See, he’s a guy who listens to experts and doesn’t let his ego get in the way. That’s what a real leader does!

The CDC recommends it, but the president mocks it. President Trump on Monday shared a tweet making fun of Joe Biden for wearing a mask in public — a step to help reduce the spread of the coronavirus that the president has not followed.

Mr. Trump shared a tweet from Fox News political analyst Brit Hume showing a picture of Biden, the presumptive Democratic nominee, wearing sunglasses and a black mask that covered much of his face at a Memorial Day ceremony. "This might help explain why Trump doesn't like to wear a mask in public," Hume wrote.

Biden wore the mask as he and his wife Jill laid a wreath at the Delaware Memorial Bridge in Wilmington. He kept it on as he told reporters his message to the country on Memorial Day: "Never forget the sacrifices that these men and women made. Never, ever, forget."

It was Biden's first public appearance in two months, as he has been campaigning virtually from his home in Wilmington during the pandemic. Biden's wife and members of his staff were also seen wearing masks.

Yes, this does give you power. Because right now, I can guarantee nobody likes wearing masks or living in this nightmarish world where you can’t talk to anybody or touch anything. Nothing sucks more ass than this does. But the sooner we abide by the rules, the sooner society gets back to normal. And believe me I want normal to come back! But once again the conspiracy theorists make it weird, and boy do they make it weird.

There may have been only a few hundred MAGA faithful gathered Thursday afternoon for Donald Trump’s latest visit to a factory churning out essential gear for the fight against COVID-19, but the right-wing carnival energy essential to his bygone arena rallies was in full effect.

So was the bizarro circus over the president of the United States’ distaste for protective masks.

Loud country music blared from a pickup truck. A supporter waved a flag portraying Trump as a muscle-bound GI Joe with a machine gun. Another held a sign portraying Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer—who has emerged as a bête noire of the right for her aggressive efforts to rein in the coronavirus outbreak—with a Hitler mustache.

It was a small-but-mighty welcome for a president making a legally fraught visit to the nearby Ford Rawsonville Plant, a facility that has been retooled to produce the same ventilators the president has suggested panicked governors may not even need.

Oh and by the way people, don’t go dressing as fucking Bane or wearing any kind of costumes during this thing. That doesn’t help things. That’s the sort of thing Goofus would do. And by the way, let’s take a moment to extrapolate this - the guy who wears lifts in his shoes, adult diapers, a girdle, and copious amounts of bronzer and hair products, is complaining that wearing a mask makes him look totally ridiculous. Let that sink in for a moment.

President Donald Trump brought a navy blue mask stamped with the presidential seal to a Ford plant in Michigan on Thursday. But he refused to wear it in front of cameras.

"I didn't want to give the press the pleasure of seeing it," Trump said before showing off his fabric face covering, which he said he'd briefly strapped on backstage before removing for a tour of the factory. "It was very nice. It looked very nice. They said not necessary."

It was another example of Trump shrugging off the rules in place for others that are meant to guard against the coronavirus. As he walked through the facility -- where Ford rules say everyone must wear a mask -- he was surrounded by company executives whose faces were covered.

"It's up to him," said Bill Ford, the company's chairman, when asked why Trump wasn't following his company's guidelines. Later, a company spokesman said Ford -- the great-grandson of company founder Henry Ford -- "encouraged President Trump to wear a mask when he arrived."

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[font size="8"]Reopening The Country
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The economic fallout from the Coronavirus response has been, well, to put it bluntly, not good. In fact it’s been almost as big of a disaster as the virus itself. As it wreaks havoc around the world, we’re starting to see just how fragile our economy really is. And it’s going to take an FDR style effort to repair it once the dust has been settled once and for all. But we’re all just numbers, or to use the Trump administration’s terminology, “human stock capital”. Yeah I can hear the boos on that one, but save them until we show you what that really means. What does it really mean? Well, basically we’re all walking dollar signs to the upper 1%.

President Donald Trump’s senior economic adviser, Kevin Hassett, presented a cold view of the U.S. economic system Sunday, referring to American workers as “human capital stock.”

In a Sunday interview on CNN, Hassett predicted that business would pick up again soon.

“Our human capital stock is ready to get back to work,” he said, while admitting at the same time that the nation will continue to struggle with unemployment as high as 23% this month.

The smiling Hassett seemed blithely calm about an unemployment rate “north of 20%” in May, which may be higher in June and will likely be in the double digits by November, he said.

Critics on Twitter didn’t take to Hassett’s terminology — or the fact that workers will be bringing up the caboose again while potentially risking their lives if there’s a second COVID-19 spike, which Hassett didn’t even acknowledge.

Yes and that’s the question we need to keep asking ourselves – what could go wrong? Well I know that our president isn’t taking this seriously. How do I know that? Just take a look at his Twitter feed – this was an actual tweet by the president of the United States. Oh how I wish I could say I am making this up.


If there ever was an argument for why we need education, just remember that this guy is the president of the United States! Seriously he’s President Kevin Malone. And what else could go wrong you might ask? Well let’s look at barbers, people have been using the haircut as a symbol of coronavirus freedom, but guess what? Well..

Two hairstylists who tested positive for COVID-19 may have exposed 140 customers to the virus.

The stylists worked at the same Great Clips salon location in Springfield, Missouri.

One COVID-positive stylist continued going to work despite experiencing symptoms of the virus for eight days, exposing 84 clients and seven colleagues, the Springfield-Greene County Health Department announced Friday.

A second COVID-positive stylist at the salon “potentially directly exposed” 56 more clients after working for five days while “experiencing very mild symptoms," health department officials said.

The business was legally open in accordance with Missouri’s reopening guidelines amid the coronavirus pandemic.

The stylists and their clients were wearing face coverings, a policy that was enforced by the Great Clips staff.

Holy shit! From two hairstylists to nearly 140 customers! That is, um, to put it scientifically, a shit hitting the fan level of infection. You know what else could go wrong? Well the lack of humans has wreaked havoc on the city animal population – something we may have to explore for a future Top 10 Investigates. But America’s rats, feral cats, pigeons, and other bottom feeders are going to have a rough time while Americans continue to social distance.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has warned of “unusual or aggressive” behavior in American rats as a consequence of more than two months of human lockdown for city-dwelling rodents who now find themselves unable to dine out on restaurant waste, street garbage and other food sources.

Last month, according to the national health body, dumpster-diving rats were observed resorting to eating their young in the wake of urban shutdowns. “Community-wide closures have led to a decrease in food available to rodents, especially in dense commercial areas,” the CDC said in recently updated rodent-control guidelines.

“Some jurisdictions have reported an increase in rodent activity as rodents search for new sources of food. Environmental health and rodent control programs may see an increase in service requests related to rodents and reports of unusual or aggressive rodent behavior.”

Elevated levels of rat aggression has been observed in New York, where there are increased reports of cannibalism and infanticide, and New Orleans, where unusual rat behavior was caught on CCTV. I turn the corner, there’s about 30 rats at the corner, feasting on something in the middle of the street,” Bourbon street tour guide Charles Marsala told CBS News...

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/may/25/us-city-lockdowns-rat-aggression-lack-food-waste

I can imagine that’s where this is going. But the other thing is that reopening America can be done if done properly, and that’s the narrative that governors like Newsom and Inslay are trying to convey, but it seems more people are willing to jump in the deep end than wade in the shallow end, especially since cases of CV have not gone down. Oh it’s going to get worse, so much worse. But if you do go out, consider the consequences!

Images of a jampacked pool party at Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri over the Memorial Day weekend prompted St. Louis County to issue a travel advisory and the Kansas City health director to call for self-quarantine of the revelers.

The advisory by the St. Louis County Public Health Department cited news reports of large crowds at Lake of the Ozarks, where hundreds of people were recorded squeezed closely together amid the coronavirus epidemic.

"This reckless behavior endangers countless people and risks setting us back substantially from the progress we have made in slowing the spread of COVID

The health department expressed concern in its travel advisory that people from the St. Louis area were at Lake of the Ozarks over the weekend. "Any person who has travelled and engaged in this behavior should self-quarantine for 14 days or until they receive a negative test result for COVID-19," the advisory said.

Read more: https://www.today.com/health/missouri-health-officials-call-self-quarantine-partiers-lake-ozarks-t182413?cid=sm_npd_td_tw_ma

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[font size="8"]MAGA Protestors
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There’s no question that the Coronavirus outbreak has the potential to be the biggest disaster of a generation and could have social and economic consequences that will last way until the next century, even after eradication. So naturally the masses from both sides are getting pissed and we want some answers. But there’s only one side that is taking it to the streets and protesting in mass numbers. And they’re not wearing masks. OK maybe they are wearing masks as V For Vendetta characters. Which, if you explain them the true meaning of the movie, well… they might not take it so well. So how are the MAGA protests going? Let’s take a look at my home state of California where they’re going after Gov. Newsom hard.

A major protest rally against California Governor Gavin Newsom's stay-at-home order began at the state Capitol Saturday morning, with more than 2,000 demonstrators gathered in Sacramento to demand lockdown measures be lifted.

The demonstration, called 'Liberty Fest,' has been touted by organizers as the country's largest Memorial Day weekend protest against lockdown measures put in place to limit the spread of coronavirus.

Hundreds of protesters gathered along the street across from the Capitol building before noon, some wearing t-shirts that read: "Resist. Rise. Revolt. Reopen."

Saturday's programming at the demonstration involved protesting, live music, barbecues and a tailgate party, according to The Sacramento Bee.

Reporters and officers at the scene wore masks, but most of the protesters did not, according to images shared to social media of the event. Many in attendance also failed to adhere to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) guidelines on social distancing as they marched around the Capitol building.

Judging by their looks, I don’t think any of these men and women will be performing hunger strikes any time soon. Hey o!!! See what I did there? Of course we’re at the stage of the pandemic where we’re getting extremely restless. If you look at 1918, it was at this point where the dreaded second wave first started appearing, even as cases went down. So do you trade responsibility for freedoms? This is America, nobody wants to be responsible for anything!

The COVID-19 pandemic has transformed many bustling routines into dull days. People have been advised to stay home, avoid non-essential travel to “flatten the curve,” and ensure COVID-19 doesn’t overwhelm the healthcare system. While a small minority, some in BC feel that these measurements are oppressive. In April and May, these protestors marched the streets of Vancouver, flailing their signs and screeching for BC to reopen. This is a dangerous and egocentric response to the COVID-19 outbreak and the public health measures meant to keep people safe.

While the anti-lockdown protests may be a result of mere ignorance or misunderstanding, they have tangible, negative effects on the containment of coronavirus. Not only do they fail to consider the capacity of our healthcare system and endanger the health of others by ignoring social distancing recommendations, these protests are also providing a platform that actively encourages others to do the same.

Studies have shown that coordination amongst individuals is necessary for quarantine restrictions to take effect. While the Vancouver protest in mid-April consisted of only a few people, a video of it received over 21,000 likes on Twitter. This gives a voice to those who are already skeptical of the COVID-19 pandemic and increases confirmation bias — a rejection of any information that disagrees with the preconceived notion that COVID-19 isn’t a threat. The resultant inability to gather information objectively normalizes doubt in health officials and creates further unrest about the perceived “oppressive” measures of the government.

Concerns about government overreach during these times aren’t necessarily unfounded. However, the belief that legitimate quarantine restrictions for public safety violates citizens’ rights to freedom is a fundamental misunderstanding of how our society functions.

Just wait until that chant gets heard outside Sacramento! But the US isn’t the only country experiencing protests from the ultra far right. Of course I’ve mentioned frequently on this program that the ultra far right are the same no matter what country you visit. Remember when we used to visit other countries before the pandemic? That was nice. But let’s take a look at Spain for instance.

Thousands of people in Spain are protesting against the government's handling of the coronavirus outbreak.

The far-right Vox party urged supporters to drive through major cities without leaving their vehicles in order to maintain social distancing.

Protesters in the capital, Madrid, drove in convoy and waved Spanish flags as they called for socialist Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez to resign.

Spain imposed some of the tightest restrictions in Europe on 14 March.

It has eased restrictions in recent weeks, but Madrid and Barcelona have remained under tight lockdown due to their more severe outbreaks of Covid-19.

Both cities will begin to relax their curbs from Monday by allowing outdoor dining and gatherings of up to 10 people.

Hey MAGAs, conservatives, and Trump supporters – let me liberal ‘splain something for you – we both want the same thing! No one wants social distancing. No one wants to live in this weird, isolated world that we’ve become since the pandemic. We all want things to go back to the normal we had before the nightmare started. I want to go back to seeing movies, live shows and sports again. I want to resume traveling and touring again! But if you don’t follow the rules during the pandemic, there might not be a normal to return to! Especially if this guy gets his way!

In North Carolina, an anti-lockdown movement that has gained momentum since April took a new turn: The founder's husband said he wouldn't rule out violence to avoid coronavirus-related safety measures.

"Are we willing to kill people? Are we willing to lay our lives down? We have to say yes," Adam Smith, the husband of ReOpen NC leader and founder Ashley Smith, said in a series of videos on Friday. He deleted the videos after news outlet Raw Story began reporting on them.

"Is that violence? Is that terrorism? No, it's not terrorism," he continued. "I'm not trying to strike fear in people by saying, 'I'm going to kill you.' I'm gonna say, 'If you bring guns, I'm gonna bring guns. If you're armed with this, we're going to be armed with this.'"

ReOpen NC, a protest group that held demonstrations in five cities across the state on Monday, was formed less than two months ago, according to its social media page.

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[font size="8"]QAnon In The Senate
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Every fringe group has run candidates for office. Does it mean that they are successful in doing so? Well we finally got a Tea Party president after putting up with 10 years of their bullshit, so there is that. The latest fringe group is the Trump-worshipping cult that originated in the dark corners of the internet known as Q Anon. A conspiracy group that alleges that Trump is going to mass arrest many of his most prominent political opponents including former president Obama and Hillary Clinton. Now not only have they run a lunatic fringe candidate, they were successful in running said lunatic fringe candidate! Meet Jo Rae Perkins, who just won a very hotly contested primary in the state of Oregon. And well, she is definitely what the Q nuts look for.

Oregon Republicans nominated Albany financial adviser Jo Rae Perkins Tuesday to challenge Democratic incumbent U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley in November. Her Election Day address to voters ignited a social-media firestorm.

In a video posted on Perkins’ Twitter account, she expresses support for the QAnon conspiracy theory, which posits that a shadowy cabal of elites — often liberals — operates a global human trafficking ring, and engages in the ritualistic abuse and sacrifice of children. Many supporters claim President Donald Trump is carrying out a covert mission to break up the “deep state,” a term used to refer to the governmental portion of the “cabal,” and end the supposed trafficking ring.

“Where we go one, we go all,” Perkins says in the video, referencing a main slogan that has dominated internet forums associated with the conspiracy theory. “I stand with President Trump. I stand with ‘Q’ and the team.”

After her statements brought a wave of national attention, she appears to have retreated from her support and deleted the video from her Twitter account.

Yeah probably! The fact that a lunatic fringe cult could have someone in the US Senate is a very real and very frightening prospect. Sure there are cults both good and bad, but let’s say for this piece, that they’re mostly bad. Come on, everything from the Branch Davidians to Heaven’s Gate and now Q Anon, yeah, they’ve given us nothing but bad things.

Oregon held its primary election on Tuesday, a mostly ho-hum affair, with Joe Biden cruising to a win over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic presidential race and no incumbents facing any real tests either.

You'll notice I said that it was a "mostly" boring election, not an entirely boring election. In fact, Oregon Republicans did something very, very odd -- and potentially disastrous -- in choosing their nominee to take on Democratic Sen. Jeff Merkley in November.

What they did is nominate Jo Rae Perkins, a financial adviser and self-professed QAnon conspiracy theorist. In a video posted to Twitter following her victory, Perkins said this:

"Where we go one, we go all. I stand with President Trump. I stand with Q and the team. Thank you Anons and thank you patriots -- and together we can save our republic."

What, you ask, is QAnon? It's a broad-scale Internet-based conspiracy theory begun in early 2017 that is based on a belief that there is a high-level government official -- "Q" -- who sprinkles clues on internet message boards like 4chan and 8chan about a massive "deep state" conspiracy (or series of conspiracies) at work in the country.

Yeah so when you see a MAGA follower on Twitter spouting slogans like WW1WGA and promoting pro-Trump conspiracies, you can almost guarantee that they are an unhinged lunatic! But even Trump himself is upping the war on the conspiracy front. You can see this on Twitter where he is attempting to peg Joe Scarborough for an alleged murder that happened 19 years ago. Now do the 100,000 who have died from COVID. No conspiracy there.

Who knows these days precisely what reaction President Donald Trump expects from the world when he opens his mouth?

Always a prolific tweeter, over the past three days he’s gone off like a pack of Mentos dropped in a Diet Coke, tweeting up a foam about “Obamagate,” Joe Scarborough, Meet the Press’ mistake, the opening of his golf courses, his picks in congressional races and more. He’s even retweeted QAnon-related accounts. On Monday afternoon, Trump brought his magnifying mania to his press conference in the Rose Garden. Staged against a backdrop of four U.S. flags and a pair of posters, the event looked more like a campaign rally than a presser. “America Leads the World in Testing,” the twin posters stated, and each featured a printed U.S. flag for heraldic emphasis. It would not have been out of place had an official entered from the wings and placed a gold medal around Trump’s neck and a laurel wreath on his blondish mop.

Trump’s opening comments did not match the celebratory theatrics of the set design. Except for a single calculated line, “We have met the moment and we have prevailed,” the remarks were the usual barge-full of sloshing Trumpspeak. Not even a fireworks display could have given the moment the elevation Trump appeared to seek. When the time finally came for reporters to grill him, Trump did not field—and could not possibly have expected to have fielded—the “congratulations, great job“ queries he has said in the past that he deserves. Instead, reporters asked, as they frequently do, and should do, direct questions about making testing available to all Americans on demand, not just White House staffers.

Yeah that is some serious crazy there! But here’s the thing, to understand Q, you must… well I am not exactly going to advocate going to 4chan and becoming a member so you can explore the depths of their insanity, because you will not be able to comprehend it. But considering we have a president who loves him some conspiracy theories and an internet willing to promote them, having someone in the Senate could be a disaster. Remember the good old days when conspiracy theories were just about Bigfoot and Area 51?

The origins of QAnon are recent, but even so, separating myth from reality can be hard. One place to begin is with Edgar Maddison Welch, a deeply religious father of two, who until Sunday, December 4, 2016, had lived an unremarkable life in the small town of Salisbury, North Carolina. That morning, Welch grabbed his cellphone, a box of shotgun shells, and three loaded guns—a 9-mm AR-15 rifle, a six-shot .38‑caliber Colt revolver, and a shotgun—and hopped into his Toyota Prius. He drove 360 miles to a well-to-do neighborhood in Northwest Washington, D.C.; parked his car; put the revolver in a holster at his hip; held the AR-15 rifle across his chest; and walked through the front door of a pizzeria called Comet Ping Pong.

Comet happens to be the place where, on a Sunday afternoon two years earlier, my then-baby daughter tried her first-ever sip of water. Kids gather there with their parents and teammates after soccer games on Saturdays, and local bands perform on the weekends. In the back, children challenge their grandparents to Ping-Pong matches as they wait for their pizzas to come out of the big clay oven in the middle of the restaurant. Comet Ping Pong is a beloved spot in Washington.

That day, people noticed Welch right away. An AR-15 rifle makes for a conspicuous sash in most social settings, but especially at a place like Comet. As parents, children, and employees rushed outside, many still chewing, Welch began to move through the restaurant, at one point attempting to use a butter knife to pry open a locked door, before giving up and firing several rounds from his rifle into the lock. Behind the door was a small computer-storage closet. This was not what he was expecting.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Parallel Universes
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

One question that man kind has asked since the beginning is “are we alone in the universe?”. While the military may have recently answered that question, there are still many other questions that need to be answered. Parallel universes are a concept as old as science fiction itself – imagine an entire universe completely identical to ours, only one tiny aspect of it might have been changed, such as time or hair color, or say people’s language. But what happens when science fiction and actual science collide? We dig deeper into this story and there may be more to it than people think. Last week NASA scientists working in the Antarctic might have actually discovered that one such parallel universe may actually exist. And it has one rather bizarre trait that makes it different from ours.

Science fiction and actual science may be aligning. That’s because NASA scientists have discovered something they can’t explain any way other than that they may have found evidence of a parallel universe.

This discovery was made by the NASA-sponsored research group Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna, or ANITA. The group was funded for $35 million in 2003 to look for and study “ghostly particles that fill the universe,” according to NASA. The project uses a specially made balloon that “detects radio waves emitted when high-energy neutrinos interact in the Antarctic ice shelf,” NASA reported. The mission is being led by Peter W. Gorham of the University of Hawaii at Manoa in Honolulu.

According to New Scientist, the balloon, which holds antennae, would go up for a month and scan thousands of miles of antarctic air looking for high-energy particles coming down from space. After two flights over more than two years, the results only yielded brief moments of background noise but nothing else.

During the balloon’s third flight, scientists decided to look over the data from the previous flights again — specifically at the random noises it recorded. What they discovered, according to New Scientist, was something impossible. The signal wasn’t coming down from space but up from the ground.

So there is a possibility that that universe could exist! But what caused the parallel universe and what could make NASA draw that conclusion? Well it was a very well timed experiment to measure the air pressure on the south pole. But however, this parallel universe has one unique trait in that time actually runs backwards. Does this mean that we can live in a world where COVID-19 doesn’t exist?

Abed may have been onto something in Community when he said he couldn't let go of the idea of parallel timelines, some darker than others. Sure, there's an explanation to be had with Schroedinger's equation within the logic of the show and the dice roll that created those universes, but researchers believe they've found evidence of the potential for a parallel universe in high-energy particles found in Antarctica, according to New Scientist.

The researchers were perplexed by "a fountain of high-energy particles erupting from the ice" in Antarctica at NASA's Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna (ANITA). The phenomenon detected is "in pretty strong tension with the standard model of physics," University of Hawaii Physics and Astronomy Professor Peter Gorham said in 2018. These high-energy particles arrive from space, but cannot pass through the solid mass of the Earth. Yet, instead of detecting these particles coming from space or reflecting off the ice, ANITA has found them coming up from the ice. Low-energy neutrinos, per New Scientist, can pass through solid matter like the Earth, but that's not the case with high-energy neutrinos.

ANITA is a stratospheric balloon designed to detect cosmic-ray showers through radio-wave signals as they bounce up or down off the ice. It turns "an entire continent... into a gigantic neutrino telescope." ANITA has twice detected a "fountain" of high-energy particles coming up from the Earth's surface in years past, with the first time occurring in 2016. The rays resemble an "upside-down cosmic-ray shower," says Gorham. "What we saw is something that looked just like a cosmic ray, as seen in reflection off the ice sheet, but it wasn't reflected," he says. "It was as if the cosmic ray had come out of the ice itself. A very strange thing."

So why Antarctica? Well time there apparently moves at glacier levels, and NASA was testing to see how ice travels through space. The indication of natural water (H2O) on another planet may be an indicator of the fact that another planet out there could possibly sustain life. It’s also a place where high energy particles from space could give glimpses of life on another planet. But could life exist on another planet or is it something tangible? There are more questions than answers.

IN THE Antarctic, things happen at a glacial pace. Just ask Peter Gorham. For a month at a time, he and his colleagues would watch a giant balloon carrying a collection of antennas float high above the ice, scanning over a million square kilometres of the frozen landscape for evidence of high-energy particles arriving from space.

When the experiment returned to the ground after its first flight, it had nothing to show for itself, bar the odd flash of background noise. It was the same story after the second flight more than a year later.

While the balloon was in the sky for the third time, the researchers decided to go over the past data again, particularly those signals dismissed as noise. It was lucky they did. Examined more carefully, one signal seemed to be the signature of a high-energy particle. But it wasn’t what they were looking for. Moreover, it seemed impossible. Rather than bearing down from above, this particle was exploding out of the ground.

That strange finding was made in 2016. Since then, all sorts of suggestions rooted in known physics have been put forward to account for the perplexing signal, and all have been ruled out. What’s left is shocking in its implications. Explaining this signal requires the existence of a topsy-turvy universe created in the same big bang as our own and existing in parallel with it. In this mirror world, positive is negative, left is right and time runs backwards.

Maybe that universe exists too. So this research has been going on for the last four years. But have scientists finally been able to make a breakthrough? Could we actually be living in the possibility that parallel universes exist? If so is there a universe out there in which COVID doesn’t exist? Or a universe in which there’s a cure for COVID? Well you may be disappointed for now because that didn’t happen, or did it? The truth is out there!

Bad news first: 2020. Literally all of it. Every second. Every waking moment of 2020. It's grim, I know. Bushfires, pandemic, murder hornets. When will it end?

But the good news: Apparently, scientists have discovered a parallel universe, just like our own. It's a little different to ours though. In this mirror world, time runs backward. It's like a Benjamin Button universe. That means they're heading back to 2019, the good ol' days, right?

Well, now more bad news: I'm here to spoil the parallel universe party. Scientists haven't actually discovered a parallel universe, but you might think they have, based on multiple reports from across the web.

In the last few days a number of publications have suggested scientists "found evidence" for a parallel universe where time runs backward. These mind-bending articles posit that an experiment in Antarctica detected particles that break the laws of physics. All the reports pull from the same source of information: A pay-walled report by New Scientist on April 8 titled "We may have spotted a parallel universe going backwards in time."

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Guess what? We are now considered an essential business! Well, in the eyes of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, thinks so! But guess what? He is the president of the United States, and if he says so then we should all partake no matter what the consequences are, right? Look, we all want to get back to our pre-virus lives. And I can’t think of one person sitting in our virtual pew who doesn’t think that. We all had plans before the Great Pandemic shut them down. And I can’t wait to see you all in the flesh again. But that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want right now is it? No, he would want us to be alive through this so he can see us all in eternity!!!

Gov. Gavin Newsom and California health officials on Monday released guidelines for places of worship to reopen amid the coronavirus pandemic, while “strongly” recommending that churches continue to hold services remotely.

The state in the morning shared a 13-page document that contains rules, regulations and recommendations that places of worship should abide by once they are cleared by their counties’ health departments to resume in-person services.

For at least the first 21 days after each county revises its public health order to allow church activity to resume, the state is requiring that places of worship “limit attendance to 25 percent of building capacity or a maximum of 100 attendees, whichever is lower.” After those three weeks, the state and county public health departments will consult and review the effect of this limit and reassess.

Aside from the occupancy limit and several sanitation rules, the document largely lacks strict requirements and instead includes dozens of strong recommendations for church staff and congregants.

Oh come on what’s the fun of church when you have things like regulations and social distancing to put up with? Yeah sure, the threat of the virus still lingers and as long as it does we are all sitting ducks for this thing. And what will a socially distant church look like? Or will it look like the way GAWD and JAYSUS intended? With a huge crowd and everyone singing and dancing like we’re in the Blues Brothers? I am guessing more the former than the latter.

The rush to reopen churches has become the latest front in the coronavirus culture wars.

President Donald Trump has declared places of worship "essential" during the pandemic and said he'd override governors if they didn't allow in-person services. Analysts have countered he doesn't have the constitutional authority to do that.

But long before Trump ordered churches reopened -- and long after how this battle plays out politically -- some ministers and congregations have and will likely continue to defy state mandates. Because for many of them, the reasons go beyond partisan politics.

For the most part, American mosques and temples have not wrestled with the question of whether to hold services or not.
But for many Christian churches, the issue goes straight to what they view as their constitutional right to free exercise of religion.

If restaurants and shopping malls are allowed to reopen under certain safety protocols, the argument goes, then churches should be too.

I do now see the light oh LAWRD!!! Because now that churches are essential business, that means that I can go take my show back on the road right? But there’s a smart way to open and there’s also a ridiculously dumb way to open. Just look at Minnesota where they can reopen but the question remains – should they reopen? Things will look very different if they do.

Many Minnesota religious leaders remain wary of reopening their doors to congregants amid the coronavirus outbreak, despite a new order from Gov. Tim Walz that allows services to resume under special pandemic precautions.

Walz responded to pressure from the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis and other religious groups Saturday in allowing places of worship to reopen at 25% of normal seating capacity, effective just before midnight Tuesday. Archbishop Bernard Hebda lauded the move as a "breakthrough" that will allow Catholic services to resume Wednesday.

Other religious leaders, and the mayors of both St. Paul and Minneapolis, say the risks in resuming religious services are still great, especially to vulnerable populations.

"It is irresponsible to be inviting people right now to worship within the walls of our congregation's building," the Rev. Timothy Hart-Andersen, senior pastor at Westminster Presbyterian Church in downtown Minneapolis, wrote in an e-mail.

The 42 rabbis of the Minnesota Rabbinical Association were unanimous in saying they will not yet gather or open their religious facilities for regular activity, because it's safer to keep worshiping at home since "the peak of COVID-19 has yet to come."

Yes, et cetera, et cetera! Look, we all can’t wait to get back to normal life because I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would have intended! I can’t wait to take my show on the road again for you all! But of course leave it to the unholy, ungodly DARK ONE, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, to screw things up. Because boy did he screw this one up badly!

This comes amid pressure to allow in-person religious services from protesters and President Trump, who are demanding that governors take action immediately.

But while some believe not allowing places of worship to reopen is a violation of First Amendment rights, others like Taylor disagree.

“I don’t want to rush back just to say we can rush back. I know a lot of people are saying I have the right to do what I want, I have the right to not wear a mask and you know I have rights to all of these things," he said. "I’m less concerned about my rights and more concerned about being a good neighbor. I don’t want to open up a church or anything just because I have the right. I want it to be healthy for all.”

Taylor attends Our Father's House of Worship in Spring Valley. His Pastor, Joshua Rios, is spreading messages of faith in new ways during the stay-at-home order. Using online platforms, like Facebook and YouTube, Rios is staying connected to his church family during COVID-19.

He wants churches, mosques, and synagogues to reopen so that those who wish to gather can do so.

However, it must be done with health and safety in mind.

I have seen the light too! Of course I am a pastor. But religious and godly people, your religious rights are not being tramped on in this bizarre time we are living. You just don’t need a building to gather in until they are done. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]What’s Up With China: Hong Kong Protests
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It’s time to ask “What’s Up With China?”. And there’s a lot that’s up. The country that the entire world is pegging responsible for the coronavirus is up to its’ usual old bag of tricks. Folks I don’t need to remind you about the dire straits that the entire world is in right now with no foreseeable end to the pandemic anytime soon. But if you think things are bad here, it’s nothing compared to what is going on in China. Well last year as you know, Hong Kong separatists threatened to secede from mainland China over the rule of their supreme leader Xi Jianping. Well, the coronavirus forced most of China’s Hong Kong protestors back in their homes and underground. So how are the Chinese and in particular Hong Kong getting around these strict new security measures?

The world is now at war with the coronavirus. Nations all around the world have resorted to using digital surveillance to fight the pandemic, but this might require members of society to give up several rights. Is the world ready to embrace this new norm?

States have been trying to increase control over society through information technologies. This development, however, is limited by the legal systems of many nations that require human rights
to be respected. Nevertheless, states often shift balance between rights of people and security in favour of the latter.

This process is developing very slowly and has somewhat changed over the course of the past decade.
The pandemic has led to serious measures by governments to control a sufficiently large group of people or a whole country by using technology. In some places, personal gadgets such as smartphones are used to track movements. For instance, Taiwan is using a mobile phone-based technology that notifies authorities when a person under quarantine has left their residence or has turned off his or her telephone. Similar practices are being used in Hong Kong, South Korea, Singapore, Israel and other countries. Though this technology could be used to fight the virus, at the same time it could be used for political gain or even total surveillance.

Tracking technology may be used to reduce and finally break the chain of infection. It has worked well in two of the initially most-affected nations, China and South Korea.

While we’re watching the horror of the possibility of a police state unfolding in Hong Kong, don’t think for a minute that it can’t happen here. So how is China getting around such extreme measures? By the way of VPNs! The VPN is of course one of the most commonly used hacking tools known to man and it doesn’t take a super genius to be able to figure out how to use one. This could get very ugly very quickly.

VPN downloads in Hong Kong have soared following the news that China will propose a new national security law that will give it even greater control over the city.

NordVPN, Surfshark and ProtonVPN are just a few of the VPN providers whose apps are quickly moving up the charts in the top free apps section in the Google Play Store in Hong Kong.

Unlike in China where residents rely on VPN services to get around the country's Great Firewall, Hong Kong currently maintains an open internet with few restrictions on free speech online. Many foreign social networks and services including Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and more that are blocked in China are legal in Hong Kong, though residents fear they may not be for long.

China's new national security law is expected to pass when the country's parliament holds its annual meeting from May 22 to May 28. Privacy advocates are concerned that the law could lead to increased surveillance and censorship in Hong Kong, hence the rush by residents to download VPNs.

Yeah how do you get answers? And how do you even know what they want? In the quest for absolute power, the only country that is reigning supreme on this is of course our good friends in China. They’re Trump’s very fine people on both sides, don’t you know? Oh wait, wrong rally. But there is some good news is that the Hong Kong protestors vow to keep on protesting because they need all the help they can get right now.

After a months-long break due to the coronavirus pandemic, tear gas returned to the streets of central Hong Kong Sunday, as police clashed with protesters over a proposed national security law.

Sunday's march was the first opportunity many Hong Kongers had to respond to the revelation last week that China's National People's Congress (NPC) -- the country's rubber-stamp parliament -- will bypass Hong Kong's legislature to impose sweeping anti-sedition laws that could drastically undermine civil liberties in the semi-autonomous city.

From the get go, however, it was clear the authorities had no intention of tolerating the protest, which had not received police permission. As crowds gathered in the Causeway Bay shopping district, they were met by an exceptionally large police presence and warnings that any protest would be in violation of both the city's public order laws and coronavirus social distancing measures.

Hong Kong police were roundly criticized over their heavy-handed tactics last year, including most recently by a former member of a government-sponsored panel looking into the protests. On Sunday it was not just the force police used -- tear gas, baton charges, and water cannon against unarmed, mostly peaceful protesters -- but also the speed at which they deployed it. The first round of tear gas was fired within 25 minutes of the proposed start time for the march.

Oh come on people stop rabbling! Hey look the masses are getting restless! But here’s the thing, as I keep saying on this program, we are the human race and we don’t like being told what to do. And how do you police in an increasingly authoritarian state when people want their freedoms? And we also want to be free of this wretched virus. Well, strap in because things are going to get extremely ugly in the next couple of years. I wouldn’t want to be Hong Kong right now!

Taiwan will provide the people of Hong Kong with “necessary assistance”, President Tsai Ing-wen has said, after a resurgence in protests in the Chinese-ruled territory against newly proposed national security legislation from Beijing.

Taiwan has become a refuge for a small but growing number of pro-democracy protesters fleeing Hong Kong, which has been convulsed since last year by protests.

Hong Kong police fired tear gas and water cannon to disperse thousands of people who rallied on Sunday to protest against Beijing’s plan to impose national security laws on the city.

Writing on her Facebook page late on Sunday, Tsai said the proposed legislation was a serious threat to Hong Kong’s freedoms and judicial independence.

Bullets and repression are not the way to deal with the aspirations of Hong Kong’s people for freedom and democracy, she added.

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: 5Gs To Freedom
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Welcome back to the segment where we read people’s minds and attempt to debunk the latest in batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! Just allow me to adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference… OK good! Just got to check outside to make sure there’s no Illuminati owned black helicopters circling overhead. We’re good to go! Hey look people, I don’t know how much clearer I can say this. STOP DESTROYING 5G CELL PHONE TOWERS! They are here for your communication benefits, not to give you coronavirus! Where is this shit coming from? But the thing is if we attempt to trace the origins of the latest batshit crazy theory to emerge from the darkest corners of the internet, it might melt your brain! But that’s where we come in!

About 1 in 5 adults in England believe the coronavirus is to some extent a hoax, according to research on conspiracy theories by the University of Oxford.

In addition, researchers found nearly 3 out of 5 adults in England believe the government is misleading them to some extent about the cause of the virus, and nearly 1 in 10 strongly agree that China developed the coronavirus to destroy the West — which is utterly false.

"A disconcertingly high number of adults in England do not agree with the scientific and governmental consensus on the coronavirus pandemic," the researchers found.

The research was based on surveys of 2,500 adults earlier this month and published in the journal, Psychological Medicine.

Lead researcher and psychology professor Daniel Freeman said the pandemic has the necessary ingredients to fuel conspiracy theories, including sustained threat and enforced change. He added that those who believe conspiracy theories are less likely to follow government guidance designed to save lives.

Yeah so look I get it, we all want answers into why the Coronavirus has grounded society to a halt and turned our lives upside down and inside out. But destruction of property definitely isn’t what we need right now. Especially when it’s something that’s designed to, I don’t know, make our lives easer? But the relentless destruction of 5G cell phone towers isn’t the only side effect of stupid when it comes to coronavirus conspiracy theories. Yeah the virus is here to stay until we find a vaccine, but so is 5G.

In the 1970s, the bogeyman was power lines. Low-frequency electromagnetic fields were emanating from them all the time, and a shocking 1979 study suggested that children who developed cancer lived near power lines “unduly often.” Around the same time, because of Cold War panic about radiation in general, televisions and microwave ovens also became a possible human health catastrophe. Later, concern bubbled up around a slew of other household appliances, including hair dryers and electric blankets.

Now the advance of cellphones and, more recently, the new high-speed networks built to serve them have given rise to a paranoid coalition who believe to varying degrees in a massive cover-up of deleterious harm. The devices are different, but the fears are the same: The radiation from the things we use every single day is destroying us; our modern world is a colossal mistake. The stakes are about as high as they could possibly be: If it were true that our cellphones were causing brain tumors, that our wireless devices were damaging our DNA, and that radiation emanating from cell towers was sickening us in any untold number of ways, this would be the greatest human health disaster the world has ever known. As well as, perhaps, its greatest capitalist conspiracy.

It’s too big to be true. The science is confusing, but the World Health Organization, noting decades of research, has found no significant health risks from low-level electromagnetic fields. Yet amid a broader tech backlash—against screens, against social media, against power consolidating in a handful of companies, against a technology industry that rolls out new products and protocols faster than we can keep up or argue with, against the general fatigue and malaise associated with a life spent typing and scrolling—it’s just big enough to seem, to many, like the obvious explanation for so much being wrong.

A wildly disorienting pandemic coming at the same time as the global rollout of 5G—the newest technology standard for wireless networks—has only made matters worse. “5G launched in CHINA. Nov 1, 2019. People dropped dead,” the singer Keri Hilson wrote in a now-deleted tweet to her 4.2 million followers in March. As the coronavirus spread throughout Europe, fears about 5G appear to have animated a rash of vandalism and arson of mobile infrastructure, including more than 30 incidents in the U.K. in just the first 10 days of April. In the case of one arson attack in the Netherlands, the words “Fuck 5G” were reportedly found scrawled at the scene. Mobile- and broadband-infrastructure workers have also reported harassment and threats from deluded citizens: A recent Wired UK report detailed an instance in which a London network engineer was spit on; he later contracted an illness that was suspected to be the coronavirus.

Ah!!! Of course I should have known that it was Infowars behind this! However, the Coronavirus isn’t the only thing that’s crossed international waters in the last few months. You know what else has? Rampant, unwavering stupidity! You know one of the bigger threats to humanity right now that isn’t the coronavirus? It’s rampant online disinformation and extremist stupidity! Verizon and AT&T had better be having some maximum security around their towers in the next few months because it’s gonna get weird.

What started as a bizarre and bogus conspiracy theory involving the novel coronavirus in Britain has apparently crossed the Atlantic Ocean, U.S. law enforcement officials believe, and they are now increasingly worried about the possibility for real-world violence.

“We assess conspiracy theories linking the spread of COVID-19 to the expansion of the 5G cellular network are inciting attacks against the communications infrastructure globally and that these threats probably will increase as the disease continues to spread, including calls for violence against telecommunications workers,” the U.S. Department of Homeland Security reported Wednesday in an intelligence report obtained by ABC News.

“Violent extremists have drawn from misinformation campaigns online that claim wireless infrastructure is deleterious to human health and helps spread COVID-19, resulting in a global effort by like-minded individuals to share operational guidance and justification for conducting attacks against 5G infrastructure, some of which have already prompted arson and physical attacks against cell towers in several US states,” the report concluded.

The assessment was followed on Thursday by a joint intelligence bulletin issued by the FBI, DHS and the National Counterterrorism Center. Both documents were distributed to senior federal officials and law enforcement agencies around the country.

And by the way let’s examine for a minute that a major pandemic happens about once every 40 – 50 years in our society that changes the way we do things. Coronavirus is just the latest in a long string of 20th and 21st century pandemics including polio, the Spanish Flu, and HIV. And when a pandemic like this hits, you can bet that conspiracy theories are sure to follow! But if we unmask the situation, who’s responsible for this? Is it China? No, it could be Russia! And they would have got away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

As the Covid-19 pandemic swept the globe in early 2020, a conspiracy theory about the disease went viral on social media: The genesis of the illness, proponents claim, was not the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2. Instead, this pandemic was actually caused by the introduction of 5G broadband, and radiation from cell towers equipped with the technology is the real culprit.

It doesn’t take Dr. Fauci to know that conspiracy theories have always been a predictable symptom of pandemics. More than a century ago, the truthers of the day tried to blame a deadly influenza outbreak on a similar technological innovation.

On January 31, 1890, the European edition of the New York Herald ran an item suggesting that the electric light was somehow responsible for a global influenza outbreak. After all, “the disease has raged chiefly in towns where the electric light is in common use,” the article noted, and went on to note that the disease “has everywhere attacked telegraph employees.”

The illness in question was the first modern influenza pandemic, known as the Russian flu or “La Grippe.” The disease likely emerged somewhere in the Russian Empire in 1889 and quickly spread around the world in successive waves. It took only four months to hit every part of the globe, with the United States seeing its peak in January 1890. More than a million people (of the 1.5 billion on earth) were killed worldwide in that first wave.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Varisty Blues Update
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Hey everyone it’s our last Top 10 of Season 8 and I could really use a drink!


So of course you know by now that the idea behind this segment is that we get drunk and while we get drunk we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And also as of lately, the coronavirus. But since the coronavirus has taken away my set, my bartender, my audience, and my wait staff, we’re forced to sit here and drink alone, which makes this segment way less funny. So tell me virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about college admissions scandals? Oh come on, a 40 ouncer of Mickeys? Ah whatever, I’ll just take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. But we got to talk about this College Admissions thing, otherwise known as Operation Varsity Blues. I don’t want your life!!!

Lori Loughlin and her husband, Mossimo Giannulli, both pleaded guilty to conspiracy charges related to their involvement in the “Operation Varsity Blues” college-admissions scandal Friday, May 22. On May 21, the Full House actress agreed to two months in prison, a $150,000 fine, and will have two years of supervised release with 100 hours of community service. Her husband, a fashion designer, will serve five months in prison, pay a $250,000 fine, and face two years of supervised release with 250 hours of community service, ABC News reports via the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the District of Massachusetts. Loughlin and Giannulli entered their guilty pleas, for conspiracy to commit wire fraud and mail fraud and honest-services wire and mail fraud, respectively, over Zoom. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, all sentencing hearings have been delayed for 30 days, landing theirs on August 21, 2020, per Deadline.

The couple is accused of “donating” $500,000 to William Singer, the operation’s central target, in order to get their daughter, influencer Olivia Jade, into USC. Loughlin and Giannulli are the 23rd and 24th suspects to plead guilty in the case, after initially fighting it, and more recently, filing to dismiss the charges. Last year, actress Felicity Huffman pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest-services mail fraud in order to get her daughter a higher SAT score and served 11 days out of her 14-day sentence, regaining her freedom in October 2019. Now, it’s Aunt Becky’s turn. 2020 really has us asking: What ever happened to predictability? The milkman, the paperboy, beloved TV aunts not going to jail?

Yeah probably! So here’s the thing – only in America could you be uber rich and expect to get only a slap on the wrist when you commit something so heinous. Of course, October 2019 was a much simpler time before the coronavirus came along and destroyed our entire society as we know it. But some good news is that the people behind the insane scandal known as Operation Varsity Blues will get what is coming to them!

The day of reckoning that many speculated would eventually come has finally arrived: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli have agreed to plea guilty for their involvement in the 2019 college admissions scandal known as Operation Varsity Blues.

According to the U.S. Attorney's Office in Massachusetts, the couple that initially plead not guilty—and continued to dodge plea deals while not publicly expressing any remorse—has finally plead guilty to conspiracy charges, which totaled up to 20 years of prison. After pleading guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud, Loughlin received a two-month prison sentence, and after Giannulli plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to commit wire and mail fraud and honest services wire and mail fraud, he received a five-month prison sentence. The Full House actress is also receiving a $150,000 fine and 100 hours of community service, while her fashion designer husband will be fined $250,000 and 250 hours of community service. Both will face two years of supervised release after imprisonment.

Last year, they were accused of bribing a coach with $500,000 to get their daughters—beauty vlogger Olivia Jade and Isabella Rose Giannulli—into the University of Southern California. A fake athletic profile and a photo of their daughters posing as medal-winning crew team members was considered to be the smoking gun for their part in the nation-wide college entrance cheating scam.

The Giannullis weren't the only wealthy celebrity parents implemented in the scandal—Felicity Huffman allegedly spent $15,000 to pay someone to pretend to be her daughter so that they could take the SAT for her, and get her into college. After being charged with conspiracy to commit mail fraud and honest services fraud, Huffman plead guilty and was sentenced to 14 days in jail, a $30,000 fine, a year of supervised release, and 250 hours of community service. She only ended up serving 12 days in jail, and was released early in October 2019.

We’re gonna need a bigger wine glass! Of course I can’t wait to get out of this socially distant void and start drinking in public again. However, if you’re keeping score at home, you know 2020 threw us all into a loop with the coronavirus outbreak, and you might be wondering how can a rich woman like Lori Laughlin serve jail time? Well at least the judges have more common sense than the people behind this scandal do!

Two USC parents in the college admissions case who requested that their prison sentences be converted to home confinement due to concerns over the spread of the coronavirus were denied in court Thursday after the court found they did not meet requirements for the modification.

Douglas Hodge and Michelle Janavs submitted motions last week alleging that their sentences for their roles in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal would pose a threat to their health in light of the increased contagion reported in federal prisons during the coronavirus pandemic. Janavs cited preexisting health conditions that would further increase the severity of her symptoms should she contract the virus. She quoted figures from the Bureau of Prisons showing increasing numbers of coronavirus cases in federal prisons, while Hodge stated that his age, 62 years, elevated his vulnerability to the virus.

In the order filed Thursday, the court acknowledged the defendants’ concerns of endangerment but stated that they had not yet exhausted all other means of modifying their sentences. Hodge and Janavs would not meet conditions for consideration of a sentence reduction regardless, the government argued in an opposition entered Tuesday, citing Janavs’ presentence physicals indicating good physical health and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines about at-risk populations.

“Their motions should be denied for the separate reason that they cannot establish ‘extraordinary and compelling circumstances’ that would justify reduced sentences,” the opposition read. “BOP has instituted substantial policies and procedures to manage the pandemic and prevent the spread of infection.”

So let that be a lesson to all you would-be scammers out there! Coronavirus does not exempt you from having to serve real jail! And come on, actresses and heiresses to the Hot Pocket fortune don’t get special treatment! Hey you know what would be really good with this drinking right now? Some Hot Pockets!

Hot Pockets heiress Michelle Janavs, ensnared in the sweeping college-admissions scandal, had her prison sentence — set to begin next week — delayed due to the coronavirus outbreak.

Janavs, sentenced to five months behind bars for paying a fixer to get her daughters into the University of Southern California, had been ordered to surrender on Thursday but now may remain free until at least June 30, according to U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton.

But the judge ruled against Janavs' bid to have her entire sentence served under house arrest.

"The COVID-19 pandemic is an unprecedented and continually evolving cause of concern and the Court is cognizant of the particular transmission risk in penitentiary facilities," Gorton wrote in a ruling handed down Thursday.

However, "this judge will not forfeit his obligation to impose a sentence that is warranted by a defendant's criminal conduct.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 4: The Finals
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Welcome back to the Stupidest State Championship! Yes, we managed to wade through the 2020 Stupidest State Season through the worst pandemic in an entire century! Next year we hope to bring you Stupidest State in our typical grand fashion. But it’s not about us. It’s about the States. Now let’s focus on the states that made it here. Last week, Michigan stopped underdog Idaho’s epic run to secure their first Flyover League title in franchise history. Over in the Layover League, Florida shocked the pundits and routed last year’s champion Alabama to advance to their second NFFSA title fight! We’re at the brand new Banc Of California Stadium for the action!

[font size="4"]Stupidest State: The Finals: Michigan Vs Florida[/font]

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So last week Michigan managed to stop Idaho’s epic run in their tracks. The only thing standing in their way is Florida. While the rest of the world stares in sheer horror at the lockdown protests going on in Michigan, what is it looking like as the state is slowly reopening? Here’s the thing. Michigan says that if people behave, the state will reopen. But the other thing is that people aren’t behaving, in any way, shape or form. What’s it going to look like when the state reopens? Well it is going to look much differently than it is right now.

TRAVERSE CITY, MI – A little boy with a mask around his neck scurried toward a storefront Friday afternoon in downtown Traverse City.

"Mask!" his mother yelled, from behind.

He paused. He raised the black mask over his face. And then ran into the store.

Up the street, a woman walked into the Cherry Republic store to an unfamiliar sight.

Instead of the smattering of cherry-themed free samples, ice cream cones and wine tasting, customers were greeted with a table of hand sanitizer, gloves and an employee making sure people wore masks.

The woman stepped back and took a photo. She wanted to chronicle this piece of "the year we'd like to all forget," she told the employee.

Of course that’s a perfect world but we are the human race, and we don’t like being told what to do even if a highly contagious virus is spreading across the entire planet and ravaging everything that it comes across! Let’s pull back the curtains and find out what life is really like in some of these parts that aren’t exactly playing to the rules.

At 12:01 a.m. Friday, bars and restaurants in parts of northern Michigan were allowed to welcome guests inside for the first time in more than two months.

By 12:15, some 20 customers were already drinking at the Kal-Ho Lounge, a longtime shot-and-beer bar in the village of Kalkaska.

"Normally for Memorial Day, it's a slow weekend for us," said Kal-Ho owner Rob Schwartz, who has run the century-old bar since 2004 with his girlfriend, Kathy Sanborn, and eight employees. Before COVID-19 hit, the Kal-Ho was open 365 days a year.

"We've gotten a lot of calls," Sanborn said. "Even people as far as Indiana asking if we're going to be open (this weekend)."

Yeah so people are naturally saying “fuck it” to the COVID stay at home orders and doing their own thing, but it’s obviously having an effect on the governor. Wanna make it another month guys? Keep showing up at the Capitol armed with machine guns and making threats outloud. That kind of thing is going to get you nowhere!

Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer has extended Michigan’s stay-at-home order until June 12 and the state of emergency until June 19.

The stay-at-home order continues the closure of public places such as theaters, gyms and casinos to limit the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19). Both executive orders were previously set to expire after May 28.

The Michigan Court of Claims ruled Thursday that Whitmer has the authority to keep the state under a state of emergency without legislative approval. Republican legislators sued Whitmer after she extended the state of emergency and stay-at-home orders without their approval.

Friday’s announcement comes on the day when restaurants, bars and retail are allowed to reopen at 50% capacity in the Upper Peninsula and northern Lower Peninsula.

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Last year, Florida got trounced by Alabama in the second round early. This year they’re back and seeking revenge! How is Florida dealing with all the madness? Well of course they’re dealing with it in the most Florida way possible. Here’s the thing – as I said humans, especially Americans, don’t like being told what to do. And we’re certainly not going to let something like COVID get in the way of us having fun, even in America’s most penis shaped state.

Joe Cirulli has spent thousands of dollars in enhanced cleaning and sanitation practices for his chain of Florida gyms.

Cirulli, the founder of Gainesville Health and Fitness, said he’s spent the last two and a half months since his business closed due to the coronavirus outbreak researching and preparing to meet, and go beyond, rigorous health standards implemented by the state when it lifted its statewide gym closure on Monday, he said.

He ordered gallons of electrostatic cleaning supply to spray workout equipment daily, enough hand sanitizer and wipes to place throughout the entire gym and installed ultraviolet lighting in the air-conditioning systems to filter out additional bacteria, although health experts say UV lighting should not be used on people’s skin.

“We ordered everything, everything,” Cirulli said. “I don’t know how much more we can do, especially when the guy working on the air conditioning system told me if we do one more thing, we’ll be able to do surgery inside our clubs.”

Yeah and Florida Man has been showing his true colors lately! I could go on and on about his achievements – both good and bad. Restrictions and social distancing be damned, people need to get their beach fix on! Sure everyone wants to get outside and see people and this virus has put a temporary stop to that. So who cares? Beach, yo!!!

Hundreds of people gathered at a popular Florida beach boardwalk and were seen partying and dancing despite social distancing restrictions imposed by the state to combat the coronavirus pandemic, authorities said Sunday.

Police responded, attempting to disperse the crowds along a beachside road in Daytona Beach that were there for an annual gathering that was not authorized by the local government this year.

Some fights broke out during the afternoon and police said a shooting also was reported outside a nearby convenience store, with two people taken to the hospital with gunshot wounds and four injured by shrapnel. Officers were not involved in the shooting.

“We got slammed. Disney is closed, Universal is closed. Everything is closed so where did everybody come with the first warm day with 50% opening? Everybody came to the beach,” Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said at a Sunday news conference.

Overcrowded beaches and a shooting! Of course if you can’t go to Disneyworld then the beach is obviously your next option in Northern Florida. But in case you’re wondering if Florida can’t get any dumber than they already are, here’s how stunningly stupid Florida is. Northern Florida invaded Southern Florida as part of a ridiculously stupid plan. I mean… just…. Ah!!!!!! Guess we’re going right back to where we started!

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Massive crowds involving people from around the state converged on Daytona Beach on Saturday as part of what authorities think was a Memorial Day social media event that led to bridge closures and a lockdown.

The event, called "Orlando Invades Daytona," drew thousands to "the world's most famous beach," people spilled into the streets, making their way into the middle of State Road A1A and forcing the closure of the Ocean Walk area and some eastbound bridges.

"We were invaded by Miami, Tampa, Jacksonville, and Orlando,” Volusia County Sheriff Mike Chitwood said.

Helicopter video from the Volusia County Sheriff's Office showed a person waving money. Chitwood thinks the person was making a music video.

Officers described people climbing on cars, others throwing cash as massive crowds shut down some heavily-trafficked routes.

When asked to disperse, police said crowds were compliant.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!! Florida is our 2020 Stupidest State! With a final score of 18, Florida sinks Michigan to advance to their second title! Final score – 108 – 90! Michigan, you put up a great run but you are no match for the almighty Florida! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Trophy Presentation & Statement From The Commissioner:[/font]

Congratulations to Florida! They are the winners of this year’s 2020 NFFSA Stupidest State finals! I know this year the virus turned our world completely upside down and we almost weren’t able to hold this contest this year. But we did it, and we will be back next year in hopefully the grand fashion that you’ve come to expect from the NFFSA! Florida you have earned this one and you are a shining example of conservative idiocy! Now let’s sing that song we all know and love!

[font size="4"]Locker Room Celebration:[/font]

[font size="4"]And now this: :[/font]
[font size="4"]King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard:[/font]

Folks, since we can’t have a live band to close out this season, we instead are going to have the next best thing! And now performing an excerpt from their brand new live album “Chunky Shranel”, give it up for King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard!

Season 8 is done everybody! We made it through the first part of the Coronavirus pandemic and I want to thank my staff, my crew, the fans for everything! We wouldn’t have made it 8 seasons and nearly 5 years without you! Season 9 starts June 17th with hopefully a limited run at our new home in Burbank and we will be documenting Joe Biden’s road to victory! See you in two weeks!


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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 27, 2020, 05:00 PM (2 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Dont Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Editi

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-18: Sometimes You Don’t Want To Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So how you guys holding up at home? You doing good? Ah this fucking sucks, I can’t wait to go back out and do some live Top 10s again. But we’re here and not going crazy at the moment. This is our next to last edition of Season 8. We will be back for a Season 9 and a season 10. Not sure what is going to happen beyond that though. We’ve been covering nearly almost all of the Trump administration, which is insane. So last week, we lost the great Jerry Stiller who of course played George’s father Frank Costanza on Seinfeld. This week, we lost the late, great Fred Willard. Who has been in just a ton of great movies, like Best In Show, or This Is Spinal Tap, or Anchorman, or Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle. OK maybe the last one wasn’t so great, it was funny sure, but in the back end of Fred Willard’s catalogue there’s definitely some much better movies of his that you can watch. And he was a dude who could not only make people laugh, but he was My personal favorite is him in Anchorman where he is on the phone to his son’s principal’s office and says “Why I don’t know where he could have got a hold of German pornography.”. Ah that was a classic. Also Spinal Tap, you can’t forget the greatness of that film. Do I know where I am going with this? You bet your ass I don’t. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and explains how the Coronavirus is affecting the sports industry.

Man the GOP are really proving to be completely full of shit aren’t they? Not to mention stupid, classless and arrogant. So in the number one slot this week goes to Donald Trump (1). He’s apparently grown bored with Coronavirus and is shifting focus to his next wacky adventure – Space Force and locking up Obama, because, reasons. In the third slot this week is Wisconsin Republicans (2) and they clearly don’t give a shit about 87,000 Americans dying from Coronavirus and voted to fully open the state anyways. In the third slot this week is also Donald Trump and we’re going to talk about the alarming testimony from whistleblower Dr. Bright that took over the House and well, we’re seriously fucked. Taking the fourth slot this week is yet another guy who clearly doesn’t give a shit, and that’s Elon Musk (4), and we will talk about his quest to reopen the Tesla manufacturing facility in Fremont and his war with California. He crazy. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates. And this week, how is Coronavirus affecting the animal population? Well animals trapped in zoos are having a hard time getting the food they need, and China’s got a huge bamboo problem affecting the worldwide panda population. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and is the Coronavirus the key to unleashing the next generation of the mark of the beast? Our resident pastor is going to go over one of the crazier conspiracy theories to come out of the Christian right. In slot #7, after giving what many are calling the worst high school graduation speech of all time, we add Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Taking the 8th slot this week is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner (8) and we’re going to check out a new video promoting some ridiculous theories about coronavirus vaccines that, well, for lack of a better word, went viral. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have an all new “I Need A Drink”. And do we really need a spinoff of Jeremy Piven’s hot-headed super agent character Ari Gold from Entourage? I need a few drinks for this one. And finally it’s time for the Stupidest State Final Four! Idaho. Michigan. Florida. Alabama. Two of these teams will advance, one wins it all! Plus we’ve got some new music from a favorite band of mine, AWOLNATION! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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You know that old saying about how the cure is worse than the disease right? Well, Donald Trump, the guy who we are currently calling “president of the United States” has officially lost it. And with the coronavirus still ravaging society and wreaking havoc on our day to day lives, would you really trust the guy who tells us to drink bleach and stares at the sun during an eclipse? I mean shit this reeks of Papa John’s infamous 40 pizzas in 30 days interview (see Top 10 #7-21 ). But when you’ve got a president who simply doesn’t give a flying fuck about things like health or science, would you trust him with a cure for this thing?

President Donald Trump said Monday that he has been taking anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine daily for over a week to prevent coronavirus infection even though it is not yet a proven treatment.

“I happen to be taking it,” Trump said during a roundtable event at the White House. “A lot of good things have come out. You’d be surprised at how many people are taking it, especially the front-line workers. Before you catch it. The front-line workers, many, many are taking it.”

He added: “I’m taking it, hydroxychloroquine. Right now, yeah. Couple of weeks ago, I started taking it. Cause I think it’s good, I’ve heard a lot of good stories.”

Trump also said that he is taking zinc, and that he has taken an initial dose of azithromycin, or Z-Pak.

White House physician Dr. Sean Conley released a memo Monday evening, which said that after discussing evidence for and against hydroxychloroquine with Trump, they concluded “the potential benefit from treatment outweighed the relative risks.”

That is a good question sir! What is wrong with him? Does this mean that he’s got the virus and requires treatment? It’s no secret that COVID is probably crawling all over the White House with two Pence staffers testing positive. But at least even Pence, for all his flaws, has more sense than our president does, and that’s saying something. And then Nancy Pelosi had to weigh in on the subject, and well, it was a thing of beauty!

In response to the shocking news that President Donald Trump is taking hydroxychloroquine in an attempt to ward off the coronavirus, CNN's Anderson Cooper asked House Speaker Nancy Pelosi what she made of that decision.

Here's what she said:

"As far as the President is concerned, he's our President and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group -- morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it's not a good idea."

Which raises an interesting question: Is Trump actually morbidly obese? (Twitter was taken by that question Tuesday morning, with both #PresidentPlump and #TrumpMorbidlyObese" trending.)

Let's start here: The CDC doesn't actually use the term "morbidly obese" at all.
Generally speaking, it defines obesity as having a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or higher. (BMI is calculated by taking "a person's weight in kilograms divided by the square of height in meters," according to the CDC website.) Within "obese," the CDC has three distinctions: 1) Those with a BMI between 30 and 35 2) those with a BMI between 35 and 40 and 3)those with a BMI over 40, which the CDC categorizes as having "extreme" or "severe" obesity.

Yeah let it all hang out there! By the way if you want to see where your state’s governor ranks on how they’ve been handling this seemingly never-ending crisis, then one thing is for certain – 49 of the 50 governors all have better approval ratings than Trump did. Oh and in case you’re wondering where this is leading, Trump is already bored with Coronavirus and has moved onto his next wacky adventure – conquering space with his shiny new toy, er branch of the military – Space Force!

The U.S. Space Force — the newest branch of the armed services — now has its own flag.

Defense Department officials presented President Donald Trump with the Space Force flag during a short Oval Office event on Friday. The dark blue and white flag includes elements intended to evoke the vast recesses of outer space.

The Space Force, which was officially established in December, is the first new military service since the U.S. Air Force was established in 1947. The 16,000 airmen and civilians that make up the Space Force technically remain part of the Air Force, which previously oversaw offensive operations in space. But Trump has made clear he sees the newest service as critical to the future of American defense.

The president said during Friday's ceremony that the U.S. is building a “super-duper missile” that can travel “17 times faster than what we have right now.”

Yes, Trump wants to conquer space! And he might as well hire Elon Musk to help him get to Mars while we are at it. You know before we go conquering strange new worlds, why don’t we, I don’t know, solve the problems here on this world first? We’ve got a crippling virus that’s destroying the lives of everyone on the planet and an economy that’s been exposed for the fraud it is. Oh and I don’t need to tell you that he’s also got a super duper missile too! Why not I don’t know, fix that? Oh well, onto the next wacky adventure! It was spewed from the Powerbook of the laziest Hollywood hack writer! Here we go again!

President Donald Trump on Friday boasted that the US military is developing a new "super duper" missile that he claimed can travel 17-times faster than anything in the current arsenal, a claim the Pentagon was unwilling to confirm.

"We are building, right now, incredible military equipment at a level that nobody has ever seen before. We have no choice. We have to do it -- with the adversaries we have out there. We have a -- I call it the 'super-duper missile.' And I heard the other night, 17 times faster than what they have right now," Trump said at a White House event to sign the 2020 Armed Forces Day Proclamation.

Trump was speaking alongside some of the country's top military leadership, including Defense Secretary Mark Esper and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.

"You take the fastest missile we have right now -- you've heard Russia has five times, and China is working on five or six times. We have one 17 times. And it's just gotten the go-ahead," Trump added.

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[font size="8"]The State Of Wisconsin
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Sometimes you don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Because you’ll leave with more than what you came. You don’t want to be where you can get a disease, because then you will be the one to blame. You don’t want to go where everyone knows your name. Thank you virtual audience! Let’s do some fact checking here. Fact #1 – COVID will be with us for the next 18 months at a minimum and if we’re lucky. Fact #2 – social distancing will continue until at least 2022 assuming that there’s no vaccine found. Fact #3 – no way in hell will our economy last that long. Put all 3 facts together and this is a powder keg waiting to explode. Never mind that the parade of idiots and MAGAs keep spreading the virus to rural areas that had previously not contracted it. So how do you reopen the economy? Do you wade in the shallow end like California and Oregon are doing? Or do you dive in the deep end like Florida and Georgia are doing? Well, Wisconsin is going a slightly different path.

A feeling of so-called “normalcy” returned to the banks of the St. Croix River on Thursday, as people in Hudson packed the sidewalks and crowded restaurant patios for the first time in two months.

These activities finally became legal in the state of Wisconsin, after the conservative-led State Supreme Court deemed the Democratic governor’s “Safer at Home” order unconstitutional. In the absence of a statewide policy, the 72 local counties in Wisconsin – and the cities and towns within them – must now scramble to make their own rules as they see fit. In Hudson, the city and St. Croix County are still in discussions about those policies, according to county and city officials.

The elimination of statewide restrictions has led to a mix of celebration, confusion, and concern, depending on who you meet.

“It almost feels like we’re waking up from a dream,” teenagers Adrianna and Kenzie said after driving across the river from Minnesota to pick up food in downtown Hudson. “It’s cool to see everyone back. It’s… relieving.”

Oh we’re not doomed just yet. Ah fuck it, who am I kidding? Of course we’re doomed. We let our guard down in 1918 and what happened? The dreaded “second wave”. But let’s take a look at what happened in the bars in Wisconsin after things reopened as if the pandemic never happened or is happening. Holy shit are we doomed! Let’s cue my botched version of the Cheers theme again!

Bars in Wisconsin are open and busy.

The Palace in Superior has been open since Thursday night.

Anthony Erhardt is a bartender at The Palace and said it has been busy since Thursday.

While the bar offers masks and sanitation wipes, he noted very few customers have been going into the bar wearing protective equipment.

Erhardt said that people are traveling from all over to get a drink.

"75% of our business was people from Minnesota. A lot of people from the Twin Cities also and up the North Shore," Erhardt said.

Hey look I’m a drinker. I want to get my drink on again. I want to go to my favorite brew pub and sink a few pints. But as long as this virus is a threat I’ll get my beer to go and drink at home. Right now the society we’re in isn’t Cheers, and you’re not Norm Peterson. And we’re not done with this thing yet, we’re not done by a long shot. If you want to go out, be sure you are made aware of the risks, like diving in the shallow end. It’s not recommended, so don’t do it.

Businesses did attempt to keep customers and workers safe. Indoors, attendance capacities were limited. People were asked to keep their distance and limit trips to the bathroom.

But after two months of banned public gatherings and shuttered businesses, it was striking to see such normality days after the Wisconsin Supreme Court struck down Gov. Tony Evers’ safer-at-home order.

And it wasn’t just Wisconsinites taking advantage of it. As is typical in Lake Geneva, the town on Saturday was filled with cars bearing license plates from Illinois, a state that is still subject to a stay-at-home order from its governor.

“Illinois is closed and we’ve been wanting to get out,” said Castano Penn, a Chicagoan who works at a senior living center and was not wearing a mask Saturday. “I know it’s probably bad. I’m just kind of done with it all.”

It was a sentiment shared by others as well. About a half-dozen other people interviewed by the Journal Sentinel said they grew tired of isolating in their homes and felt they deserved the freedom to choose what’s safe and what isn’t.

Well yes, good point, Norm. Because there’s still things you can and can’t do. Sure you could go to a bar and pound brews with your buddies, but would you risk a DUI? Or would you risk getting into an Uber afterward? There’s plenty of chances you can take and right now none of them are particularly good, so really until we know what this virus is doing, stay home and shut up.

Does the Supreme Court decision mean all businesses will reopen in Wisconsin?

No. Business owners may decide to remain closed, or reopen at their own pace and with their own restrictions. They may also be subject to local restrictions aimed at controlling the spread of the coronavirus that were unaffected by the Supreme Court decision about the statewide restrictions.

Some businesses may have lost their staff during the shutdown period and need to rehire before opening, or may have closed permanently.

Can a business owner make me keep a distance from others, or wash my hands, or wear a mask to get services or purchase products?

Yes. Private business owners can operate how they wish, short of illegal discrimination or safety violations. Remember "No shirt, no shoes, no service" signs? A more current example is the ban many businesses impose on weapons, even though the state allows properly licensed people to carry concealed guns in public generally.

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[font size="8"]Dr. Bright Testimony
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We’re fucked. No wait, yeah, we’re fucked. Nice knowing you, humanity. We had a good run, but it’s time to start packing it in. Do I know where I am going with this? Well last week, we saw the alarming and damning testimony from COVID whistleblower and former Trump admin employee, Dr. Bright and COVID whistleblower and soon to be ex Trump admin employee Dr. Fauci. The Trump administration is determined to reopen the economy if it means killing a whole lot of us, and this thing isn’t going away any time soon. But as far as the long haul fear mongering let’s keep in mind the average length of a pandemic is really about 12 months or so. But it’s going to be a hell of a long time before things get back to normal.

Dr. Rick Bright is the highest-ranking government scientist to charge the federal government's response to the coronavirus pandemic has been slow and chaotic. He says it has prioritized politics over science, and has cost people their lives.

It has cost Dr. Bright his job. In April, he was removed from a top position in the Department of Health and Human Services, and transferred to what he considers a position of less stature and responsibility. Dr. Bright has filed a whistleblower complaint running over 300 pages.

President Trump has called Rick bright a disgruntled employee. In congressional testimony on Thursday, Bright claimed the government retaliated against him for telling the truth about the depth of the crisis.

Bright at congressional hearing: Our window of opportunity is closing. If we fail to improve our response now based on science, I fear the pandemic will get worse and be prolonged.

Until a month ago, Dr. Rick Bright led BARDA, the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, a federal agency to which Congress has handed more than $5 billion to fund vaccine development, new antiviral drugs, and badly-needed medical supplies.

Yes, we’re doomed. Only in this administration do you get fired for speaking the truth. Because that’s just how Trump rolls. So we’re basically left with two choices – we reopen and we’re completely miserable because of all the restrictions that COVID has placed on our society and risk the possibility of certain death, or we stay at home and go crazy from boredom.

An ousted top Health and Human Services official testified Thursday before Congress that the Trump administration's timeline for a coronavirus vaccine is likely too optimistic — and that there's "no plan" to mass produce and distribute one.

Hopes for a vaccine to be ready in 12 to 18 months assume that "everything goes perfectly," the official, Dr. Rick Bright, told the House Energy and Commerce subcommittee on health, adding, "We've never seen everything go perfectly."

Bright also said he had warned the administration about shortages of personal protective equipment, and he faulted President Donald Trump and senior officials for having minimized the outbreak early on — with, he said, deadly consequences.

"I believe Americans need to be told the truth," Bright said. "We did not forewarn people. We did not train people. We did not educate them on social distancing and wearing a mask as we should have in January and February. All those forewarnings, all those educational opportunities, for the American public could have had an impact in further slowing this outbreak and saving more lives."

Well come on man this is the Trump administration. Anyone less than someone who isn’t 100% loyal to Trump is considered disgruntled. But the more Trump keeps tanking this thing and the more people start dying, this could be a bad sign. Even more so as the idiots keep showing up at those anti-lockdown protests. Yeah this pandemic couldn’t suck more. Everyone wants to get back to their lives free from the restrictions. But do something stupid and it could open up Pandora’s box.

The Trump administration official set to testify before Congress Thursday oversaw the production and purchase of vaccines before being abruptly dismissed last month amid a clash with the administration on coronavirus treatments.

Dr. Rick Bright is an international expert on vaccines with a lengthy work history in the field. His expected testimony comes after he filed a whistleblower complaint last week alleging he was removed from his post in retaliation for opposing the broad use of hydroxychloroquine, a drug frequently touted by President Donald Trump as a treatment for Covid-19.

Bright had led the Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority, part of a Department of Health and Human Services office that has been central to the response to the coronavirus outbreak, since 2016.

As BARDA's director, Bright oversaw "the advanced development and procurement of medical countermeasures against an array of threats to national security and the public's health, including chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear threats and pandemic influenza, and emerging infectious diseases," according to an archived webpage of his official biography.

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[font size="8"]Elon Musk
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What is it with people losing their minds and going full MAGA? First Kanye went and became a full blown sleazy televangelist and now it appears that Elon Musk is following in his footsteps. I mean what is it? you reach a certain age and you don’t have to worry about money and then somehow you just lose your shit? Last week Elon shocked the world when he named his newborn son X AE A-12. But now Tesla is turning the tables on the state in which it was founded – California. Yes, my home state and the favorite punching bag of conservatives everywhere. But Elon is taking things to the next level against not only the state but the coronavirus lockdowns that have crippled the economy.

Musk continued tweeting, appealing to followers to protest to their local government officials over the issue and comparing the Alameda County lockdown to other nearby counties which he stated had been suffering ‘no ill effects’ from continued industrial operation.

Local government in Alameda does not consider Tesla manufacture to be an ‘essential business’ and has therefore been ordered to be closed until the end of May at the earliest, following an original lockdown beginning on 23 March.

While lots of carmakers globally are beginning to start production again, with the likes of VW, Ford and Porsche all reawakening productions lines, Tesla remains dormant. It’s the only carmaker based in California, with CEO Musk repeatedly voicing frustration in recent weeks at what he sees as over-zealous, unconstitutional measures against personal liberties in the US.

So far, more than 80,000 people are known to have died from COVID-19 in the United States, with more than 1.3 million known cases recorded. Both figures are the highest tolls for a single county in the world.

Earlier in May Tesla shares saw $14billion wiped off their value after Musk tweeted that he thought Tesla’s stock price was too high. In, erm, mildly better news, the Tesla Model 3 was the UK’s best-selling car in April, while the market as a whole contracted by 97 per cent.

Yeah pretty much. But then Elon not only did that, he decided to go rogue. You know – going rogue is the favorite plot of just about every spy movie in existence. And look, Elon, we get it, we all want to go back to our jobs and daily routines that we had before the pandemic, but considering the pandemic might not be over at least this year we are going to have to make some sacrifices. And this is coming from a guy who can lose $14 BILLION in a single tweet. Yes, billion.

Tesla Inc. told employees that a California county health official has now signed off on safety measures the company took last week at its car plant as it restarted production in defiance of the area’s shutdown order.

The Alameda County health officer’s approval means Tesla has local support to resume full production starting this week, Laurie Shelby, the company’s environmental, health, and safety vice president, wrote in an email to staff Saturday that was viewed by Bloomberg News. Representatives for Tesla and the county didn’t respond to queries outside regular business hours.

The county’s authorization could resolve a highly contentious episode in which Elon Musk threatened to move Tesla’s headquarters and future programs out of California and sued the county over its health officer’s resistance to reopening the factory in Fremont. It’s unclear whether the chief executive officer will now follow through on his warnings, which also included shifting the company’s manufacturing out of the state.

When Tesla was resisting calls to idle the factory in March, Fremont officials sought clarification from Alameda County as to whether the company was an essential business. Erica Pan, the county’s health officer, considered the plant to be a public health risk, according to documents obtained through a California public-records request.

Of course! Even in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century do we set aside the almighty dollar for life itself! Well I got news for you Elon, no matter how much money you may have, you can’t take it with you when you’re lying in a box in a ditch! But this is quite the wild ride here – it’s Mr. Elon’s Wild Ride (thank you to our graphics department for that one). But really on our list of priorities right now, new cars should be like last on the list. Let alone niche cars that most people can’t afford even if they could.

Electric carmaker Tesla (TSLA) - Get Report reportedly has asked dozens of workers at its car plant in Fremont, California, to return to work as soon as this Wednesday despite stay-at-home orders that remain in place for some 40 million Californians amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Internal messages viewed by Bloomberg indicate that Tesla is asking some of its workers - mostly those responsible for paint and stamping operations - to return to work as early as April 29, six days ahead of the tentative May 3 date currently being considered by state officials as a date to begin cautiously allowing businesses to reopen.

The potential battle come as states weigh the health and safety vs. economic benefits of reopening for business some seven weeks after the coronavirus pandemic brought the U.S. economy to an unprecedented standstill. Several states including Georgia, South Carolina, Arkansas and Wyoming began lifting restrictions on some businesses this past weekend.

Tesla last month gained headlines after defying stay-at-home orders and keeping its carmaking factory up and running, leading to a run-in with the local Alameda County sheriff’s office. Tesla argued it was an essential service and should remain open; the sheriff’s department argued otherwise. Tesla closed the site on March 29.

Oh and here’s where it gets weird, because you knew that it was coming. I mean come on, would you expect the guy who named his kid a series of nonsensical symbols to not have something weird associated with him? Well, he’s gone full Red Pill Truther, which of course means that his political beliefs are well off the deep end. And I love that one of the co-creators of the Matrix wasn’t having any of it.

A strange tweet by Tesla Inc. (NASDAQ: TSLA) CEO Elon Musk, has given rise to speculation that he may be veering to the right of the political spectrum.

What Happened

Musk, who is known to be a prolific user of Twitter, took to the platform on Sunday to declare, “Take the red pill.”

The red pill may be a reference to the 1999 movie “The Matrix,” in which the protagonist, Neo, is faced with the choice of taking either a red or a blue pill.
However, the red pill may also be Musk’s way of indicating his willingness to adopt right-wing political ideology, according to Business Insider. Musk is a self-described “moderate.”

Replying to Musk’s tweet, Ivanka Trump exclaimed, “Taken!”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: China’s Bamboo Problem
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

How is the COVID-19 crisis hitting the worldwide animal population? While animals have a very rare possibility of contracting the deadly affliction themselves, it’s disrupted the global supply chain to the point where certain considerations have to be made for the greater good of the species. And this all happened in ways that could never happen in a million years, but have because of the COVID-19 crisis that is currently ravaging the planet. Because if you go through the supply chain food would have to make it from one side of the globe to the other, and if that chain is interrupted, then it would be impossible for that species to have a steady food supply. Let’s take the panda for instance and how this is being affected.

The Calgary Zoo will be returning two giant pandas on loan from China because a scarcity of flights due to COVID-19 has caused problems with getting enough bamboo to feed them.

Er Shun and Da Mao arrived in Calgary in 2018 after spending five years at the Toronto Zoo and were to remain in the Alberta city until 2023.

The zoo’s president, Clement Lanthier, said this week the facility spent months trying to overcome transportation barriers in acquiring fresh bamboo and decided it’s best for the animals to be in China, where their main food source is abundant.

“It’s about the animals. At the end of the day, we cannot pretend that we care for animals if we don’t take those tough decisions,″ Lanthier said. “We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access.″

And there will be a lot more sad pandas if this keeps up. Because this thing has the potential to be a huge problem, and not just in China’s panda community. But as the world’s meat supplies are being upended and people are turning to relative measures to eat food and stay alive. One such tree population that is being ravaged is the very plant those pandas need to survive – bamboo.

The sound is deafening as metal strikes metal, battering my eardrums. Wood chips whizz past my head and the temperature seems to be rising in this small and dusty workshop. Amid the haze of sawdust, which seems to be enveloping everyone in the room, a team of workers stands over a series of archaic machines.

"Business is getting better and better each year," explains Kuai Liangyou, taking a moment of temporary silence as an opportunity to talk. "We get through nearly 800 bamboo trees a day. That's about 20 tons. The demand is very big. In the peak season, we cannot meet the demand."

Kuai is the manager of a relatively small but highly productive bamboo factory in Changning County, in southern Sichuan. This basic but efficient production line churns out a constant stream of refined bamboo, either being made into furniture or being split into new sets of disposable chopsticks. The factory is one of hundreds in the region that are trying to satisfy the appetite of the Chinese market for this new in-demand resource.

"Sichuan is one of the most densely populated regions in the country," explains Li Yanxia, Sichuan program officer for the International Network for Bamboo and Rattan (INBAR). "The rapid growth in demand for bamboo resources over the last two decades has caused excessive exploitation of forest resources in the province. This has resulted in serious disturbance and destruction of the biodiversity of ecosystems in natural bamboo forests."

But if we want to figure out how to save our pandas during the duration of this pandemic, look to Scotland, where the panda is the star attraction at the Edinburgh Zoo. But is it enough? And how long will this pandemic last? Those are two unknown variables. If the pandemic lasts longer than 18 months than it is a possibility that stockpile could run low. But if it doesn’t then it’s possible that the pandas could be saved without relocating them to China.

Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang munch through up to 40lb of bamboo per day in their enclosures at Edinburgh Zoo.Concerns for the iconic animals were raised after it emerged that Canada's Calgary Zoo plans to return its own pair to China because of problems getting enough bamboo to feed them, caused by a scarcity of flights because of Covid-19.

Edinburgh Zoo bosses say that while they are still asking the public for donations to help meet their £55,000 per month animal food bill while they have no visitor income, they have no concerns about bamboo supply. They added that, as a result, they are not considering sending their star attractions back to China.Jo Elliot, animal collection manager at Edinburgh Zoo, said: "We have made sure that our stores are topped up and ready, which means that we have a bit of resilience there if we do have any supply chain issues.

"Many of the animals have specialist diets - obviously the pandas, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, need their bamboo. Most of it gets shipped in from the Netherlands, and at the moment that is fine, we are still getting deliveries."Giant pandas Tian Tian and Yang Guang arrived at Edinburgh Zoo in 2011 on a ten year loan from China, for which the Scottish Government pays around £600,000 per year.It was hoped Tian Tian, whose name translates as "Sweetie", would produce an historic cub in Scotland but efforts have so far failed.

But that said why is Calgary not getting the supply they need if they have pandas on loan? Well the Coronavirus has turned life upside down in ways that were completely unimaginable even going back as far as last December. And unknown variables and plenty of ways for this to go wrong could not only upend the worldwide panda population, but could have an adverse effect on zoology as we know it.

Two giant pandas in Canada will be heading back to China because their main meal, fresh bamboo, was getting too difficult to find during the pandemic, officials at Calgary Zoo in Canada said.

The bamboo for Er Shun and Da Mao was flown directly from China and then, when the pandemic reduced flights, on transfers from Toronto, the zoo said Tuesday. But even those flights have been reduced, making the adult bears' favored food supply shaky.

Shipments have gone to the wrong place, delivery times have been longer and the pair just won't eat some of the bamboo, zoo officials said.

"We believe the best and safest place for Er Shun and Da Mao to be during these challenging and unprecedented times is where bamboo is abundant and easy to access," Calgary Zoo President and CEO Clément Lanthier said in a statement.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know while we sit and wait to see how these uncertain times play out, there’s people on the other side who think that this might be the end of the world. And right now, it might literally be the end of the world as long as the great pandemic is going on. Even the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with that. But is it bringing about some unwanted side effects? Because my brothers and sisters on the right think that there’s going to be an after mark of the dreaded virus that’s been ravaging the economy and ruining lives. So how would this play out exactly? Well it’s the Mark Of The Beast, and you might want to get your Iron Maiden soundtrack of choice ready!

Peggy Popham gets her flu shot every year, despite her daughter Laura’s opposition to vaccines.

“I’m 70 and I’ve gotten sick before,” said Popham. “I don’t have a great immune system.”

Popham, who spoke to Yahoo News by phone while quarantining at home in Asheville, N.C., acknowledges that the same factors put her at risk for the coronavirus. “Of course,” she said, she’s worried about contracting COVID-19.

But she’s more worried about a possible vaccine for it.

“Absolutely not,” she said. “I would not take the vaccine.”

That’s a view shared by nearly one in five Americans, according to a recent Yahoo News/YouGov poll, which found that an additional 26 percent weren’t sure if they’d take it. Some of them no doubt have been influenced by the anti-vaccine disinformation that has been spreading for more than a decade on social media — although that has been directed primarily at routine childhood immunizations and their hypothesized link to autism. Popham’s reasons aren’t medical: They are religious and political.

Oh my LAWRD, one in five?? One in fucking five??? Sorry, we are allowed to swear in my church, good sir. That ratio is way too high and it’s the reason why we can’t have nice things. And I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would agree with me there, now wouldn’t he? Even the chief vaccinator himself, Bill Gates – many of whom see as the devil himself, weighs in on how ridiculous this all is.

If the worries of most quarantined Christians in the United States center on health and when they might resume their lives, there is a segment that wonders whether this moment has greater biblical significance. These apocalyptic-minded Christians seem to have become increasingly less concerned about the disease itself and more concerned about the government’s response to the disease.

To some, it appears Satan’s emissaries are poised to take advantage of the pandemic. Some Christian pastors believe the start of a Last Days battle for religious freedom began with the social distancing orders that have placed weekly in-person church services under fire. Tony Spell, pastor of Life Tabernacle, a Louisiana megachurch, defended his decision to hold a Palm Sunday service: “The church is the last force resisting the Antichrist, let us assemble regardless of what anyone says.” Another Louisiana pastor, Ronnie Hampton, decried the order “because Caesar is mandating how we conduct ourselves using the pretext of this virus to be able to conduct our lives and run our lives for us.”

American apocalypticists tend to be suspicious of government, of course. This is partly due to their conservative bent, but this suspicion is nearly mandated by a literalist reading of the Book of Revelation. John the Revelator’s arch-villains are political powers that institute totalitarian social controls while persecuting the righteous who refuse to profess their allegiance. The second beast of Revelation 13, commonly known as the Anti-Christ, will, according to many Christians, come to power in the chaos of the apocalypse. John described him as a miracle worker who will deceive the nations to worship the image of an earlier beast, a dragon with seven heads and ten horns that is sometimes identified as Satan himself.

Now here’s where it gets weird, and you knew that it was going to. Even in the great land of Jamaica, you see they are spreading the Mark Of The Beast visions as far as the dreaded virus has been spreading all across the land. The question is, where is this coming from and where is it going? Just like the virus itself, nobody really knows. And I don’t think anybody really cares either.

Jermaine Allen and Jacqueline Murray of the Linstead Seventh-day Adventist Church and North Street Seventh-day Adventist Church, respectively, claimed to have received visions on Tuesday this week.

They stated that the visions warned the “mark of the beast” would soon be imposed around the world. The new world order would force the Jamacian government to impose mandatory worship on Sunday.

“When the Lord gave us the message, we woke with much trembling and I know we had to take this message to the people of the world, and the prime minister of the country, that a great crisis is coming and the devil is going to send persons to enforce a one-day Sunday worship,” Allen said.

The Adventist claimed he had not been able to sleep after his vision.

“God loves (Prime Minister) Andrew (Holness) very much, and he does not want him to follow the rest of the world and institute these laws. He needs to be careful because any country that breaks the laws of God will come to national destruction,” said Murray, referring to the Jamaican PM who also happens to be Adventist.

Now you might be wondering where is this nonsense coming from? Well like all bad things right n ow, it originated from social media. And like all bad things, that propaganda, which I am sure the LAWRD they GAWD would disapprove of, spread as fast as it was made. And you can almost tell it’s bullshit just from looking at it. But does that persuade our brothers and sisters on the right? No it most certainly doesn’t!

As universities and pharmaceutical companies race to put out the first COVID-19 vaccine, some sectors of the religious right are gearing up to fight it, based on tenuous ties to what they call “the abortion industry” and a biblical teaching about “the mark of the beast.”

LifeSite News, a Catholic, anti-abortion website, has gathered more than 350,000 signatures on a petition protesting mandatory coronavirus vaccination orders—none of which have actually been issued. The petition starts with the kind of big-government concerns that have become a hallmark of anti-shutdown protests, claiming that “fear of a disease” could inadvertently lead to support for “the hidden agenda of governmental as well as non-governmental bodies” with plans to “restrict personal freedoms.”

“The so-called ‘public health experts’ have gotten it wrong many times during the current crisis,” the petition states. “We should not, therefore, allow their opinions to rush decision-makers into policies regarding vaccination.”

And there you have it, the people responsible for circulating the Mark Of The Beat propaganda are tools of the devil himself! Me personally? I prefer Iron Maiden. Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Tony Evers: People Who Somehow Got Elected [br] [/font] [br]

Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week: Nebraska Senator Ben Sasse. While the rest of us are still reeling from the unfathomable havoc that COVID-19 is wrecking on the rest of the world, Senator Sasse has his own ideas about where it came from. The class of 2020 is suffering from not being able to take part in graduation ceremonies and end of the year activities that every senior from every other year gets to participate in. Instead they were subjected to virtual proms and senior nights on Zoom. Which really is not how you want to remember the last days of your high school or college career. Well, Ben Sasse gave a graduation speech that one will definitely remember. Much like the infamous curse toast from Seinfeld., Ben Sasse gave a speech that a bad comedian might deliver in a really bad improv sketch.

Regulars here at the shebeen are familiar with the exploits of Young Ben Sasse, Republican senator from Nebraska. Young Ben is often discussed as the future of his party, since he has loudly proclaimed himself as a leader of that dwindling faction of the GOP fairly described as Not Publicly Insane. (However, this principled stand has not kept him from enabling El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago whenever the rubber has met the road.) He also has declared himself the avatar of homespun heartland values and virtues. He even wrote a book about how the country has lost both its moral language and its mad cow-milking skillz. It was another one of those interminable conservative hell-in-a-handbasket tomes in which lofty philosophical language is used in place of the phrase, “Kids, today. Jeez.” How that “national moral language” jibed with voting in lockstep with the current moral landfill in the Oval Office is not for small minds to ponder.

Anyway, Young Ben Sasse got yet another week of self-quarantine off with a bang by providing the graduating seniors at Fremont High School in Fremont, Nebraska with a video commencement address, just like Barack Obama, an actual president, did all over television on Saturday night. Except that Young Ben Sasse, tie askew and quarantine stubble ablaze, parked his speech somewhere between a televised megachurch and Open Mic Night at the Chuckle Hut in North Platte.

It’s hard to get a handle on what Young Ben Sasse was going for here. Was his odd denunciation of people named “Jeremy” a signal to Pearl Jam fans in Fremont that he is not with them? Was he trying to be the Hip Senator Who Can Talk to the Young with all that business about climbing the rope in gym class? (Note: I spent four years in high school trying to climb the damn rope. Never made it off the ground.) The denunciation of psychology was probably a pitch for the know-nothing constituency he’ll need later on. As for the rest, I have no explanation for the point where he makes an “I’m old” joke and then replies to it himself, or the sudden time-warped appearance of his 2024 presidential stump speech about the evil Chinese. Also, too: grit.

So that happened. Ben Sasse gave his speech that would be pegged by a comedian that bombed open mic night at the local chuckle hut. But is China really to blame for COVID? Well there’s plenty of theories suggesting yes and plenty of theories suggesting no, but before you go into which is which, let’s keep in mind all the information coming out of China about how bad this thing was going to get, that it would totally upend our way of life as we knew it, but let’s not let facts get in the way of misinformation.

The Republican senator Ben Sasse’s attempt at humor during a speech for high school students has drawn strong criticism.

Sasse delivered the online speech to students at his former school, Fremont high in Nebraska, on Saturday. During the speech he suggested that the students would remember their senior years at their future reunions as “that time when China started a big global pandemic that created the worst public health crisis in over a century and brought the economy to its knees and we had to stay home and everybody was hoarding toilet paper”.

Near the end of the speech, Sasse mixed some serious encouragement for students with another shot at China.

“Nobody knows exactly how we’re going to beat this thing, but you know what, we’re Americans, we’re Nebraskans, we’ve got grit and we’re going to beat this thing,” he said. “We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus ... We’re going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it,” he said.

Sasse also joked about psychologists: “Ninety-five per cent of all gainfully employed psychologists – and I’m serious, there are dozens of them that are gainfully employed - their job is really just to help people forget high school ... If you’re headed to college, do not do not major in psychology. That part’s not a joke.”

Now why do you have to hate on psychologists, Ben? Who hurt you? Now if you’re one of the people who are asking for an apology for this, keep in mind that Senator Sasse is a member of the GOP, they apologize for nothing. But apparently Mr. Sasse has a thing for doctors too, because this is not the first time he’s spoken out about the health care system. And with friends like these, you know, who needs enemies?

"We will bring the economy back. We are going to beat the virus.. We're going to have to have a serious reckoning with the thugs in China who let this mess spiral out of control by lying about it," he said.

He went on: "Your generation is going to have a big calling. You're going to have to deal with the consequences of all this."

Sasse joked at one point there were no longer differences between parents and teachers, and suggested graduates should avoid majoring in psychology during college.

The Nebraska senator set off a wave of criticism after the speech, which came as he campaigns for reelection in November. His Democratic opponent, Chris Janicek, told The Omaha News-Herald in a statement that "it's hard for me to believe that a US senator would make remarks like he did in that speech."

Yes, it is easily possible for us to believe that a US senator could make those comments. This is, after all, the Donald J. Trump administration, where civility, logic, and reason have all been thrown out the window. But in an era where it’s growing increasingly hard to joke about the news every day, how could a senator stoop to such lows? Well just take a look at who we are dealing with in the United States government, currently.

Sen. Ben Sasse, in an online commencement address Saturday for Fremont High School, delivered a talk that was part attempted stand-up comedy, including shots at psychologists and students’ fitness, and part a scalding indictment of China over the coronavirus pandemic.

It drew sharp criticism from a Fremont school board member, who called on Sasse to apologize, and from Sasse’s Democratic opponent in the November election. The school district issued a statement saying it wasn’t responsible for the comments. Sasse’s spokesman said Sunday that it was all a joke and that students are mature enough to hear the truth about China.

An unshaven Sasse, wearing a loosened red tie and white shirt, told students they would be rare among high school graduates in that they would remember their commencement ceremony because of this year’s odd circumstances.

A couple of the attempted jokes: He said that in life, the graduates would at times be asked to climb ropes. “If you don’t get that joke, talk to your mom and dad. Back in the day when we were a lot fitter than you people are, we used to have to climb ropes all the way up to the ceiling of the gym.”


This is Ben Sasse, yet another in the ever-growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: The Plandemic
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Gather around, boys and girls, ladies and gents, and our LGBT brothers and sisters! I don’t want to leave anybody out. It’s the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, Conspiracy Corner! This week we are going to talk vaccines. Because as the talk of the COVID era is a vaccine that will hopefully kill this virus so we can all get back to the lives we had, the only way we are going to do that is with a vaccine. But with the vaccine already is coming a massive, worldwide disinformation campaign about what vaccines actually do. But thankfully social media websites like Facebook, Youtube, and Google are starting to crack down on misinformation regarding Coronavirus. But like a bad weed or a game of whack-a-mole, truly batshit crazy theories never die. They just spawn new legs and move somewhere else.

Social media is playing a huge role in the consumption of news as people seek out information about the coronavirus pandemic. But COVID-19 conspiracy-based claims are also spreading amid reliable news.

“The 2019-nCOV outbreak and response has been accompanied by a massive ‘infodemic’ — an overabundance of information — some accurate and some not — that makes it hard for people to find trustworthy sources and reliable guidance when they need it,” the World Health Organization stated in a February situation report.

The latest viral craze is the documentary “Plandemic.” This 26-minute documentary focuses on former research scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and documentary creator Mikki Willis as they dive into a realm of theories about the pandemic.

The video received over a million views while it was hosted on YouTube. It eventually was taken down late last week for violating YouTube’s community guidelines but has made its way to several other social media sites.

“The creators of the video directly encouraged people to share it,” said Alex Kaplan, senior researcher at the left-leaning Media Matters for America. “On the video’s website when the video was launched, they wrote: ‘In an effort to bypass the gatekeepers of free speech, we invite you to download this interview by simply clicking the button below, then uploading directly to all of your favorite platforms’.”

I don’t really think that’s how the virus spread but it does seem like that it could happen! The pandemic has spawned infodemic – and really just add anything with the word “demic” after it and it will be OK, kind of like when they added the word “quantum” to everything after Ant-Man. So now how does one go through the wormhole on anti-vaxxer thinking? Because like most things involving drugs, it’s a long, strange trip to nowhere.

The conspiracy theory video “Plandemic” recently went viral. Despite being taken down by YouTube and Facebook, it continues to get uploaded and viewed millions of times. The video is an interview with conspiracy theorist Judy Mikovits, a disgraced former virology researcher who believes the COVID-19 pandemic is based on vast deception, with the purpose of profiting from selling vaccinations.

The video is rife with misinformation and conspiracy theories. Many high-quality fact-checks and debunkings have been published by reputable outlets such as Science, Politifact and FactCheck.

As scholars who research how to counter science misinformation and conspiracy theories, we believe there is also value in exposing the rhetorical techniques used in “Plandemic.” As we outline in our Conspiracy Theory Handbook and How to Spot COVID-19 Conspiracy Theories, there are seven distinctive traits of conspiratorial thinking. “Plandemic” offers textbook examples of them all.

Learning these traits can help you spot the red flags of a baseless conspiracy theory and hopefully build up some resistance to being taken in by this kind of thinking. This is an important skill given the current surge of pandemic-fueled conspiracy theories.

And that’s probably the safest way to go out in public as long as Coronavirus and COVID-19 exist. Anti vaccination crusaders are a strange and certainly weird bunch indeed. Also, like most things involving social media in 2020, the scariest thing of all in the war on COVID-19? Disinformation! Yes, the bullshit is coming. And like coronavirus, the bullshit doesn’t care what political party you belong to, or what your social or economic status is.

Some “fake news” is more dangerous than others. Lies, distortions and misinformation about coronavirus can be deadly, which is why YouTube and Facebook keep having to remove posts for a video that has circulated widely on social media, garnering millions of views. Its title, “Plandemic,” gives away its premise: that the COVID-19 outbreak, and the attempts to control it, are part of a sinister conspiracy by the very people whom we trust to keep us safe.

The 26-minute video, which is supposedly part of a longer “documentary” to be released this summer, stars Dr. Judy Mikovits — a scientist who was fired from the Whittemore Peterson Institute for Neuro-Immune Disease in 2011 after her research into chronic fatigue syndrome was discredited and retracted.

The video was produced by Mikki Willis, who according to the New York Times was involved in making “Bernie or Bust” and “Never Hillary” videos during the 2016 presidential campaign.

“The coronavirus epidemic is really fertile soil for all kinds of coronavirus conspiracy theories. And I think this video is actually really a good indication for us of how much misinformation can get out there quickly on social media,” says Dr. Dara Kass, an associate professor of emergency medicine at Columbia University Medical Center and a Yahoo News medical contributor.

Well it certainly seems that way. So yeah the people responsible for splitting the democratic party and giving us Bernie Bros are coming for our vaccines! But even with its’ super strict virus misinformation rules regarding COVID, the execs at Twitter are having a hard time swatting the Plandemic video. Even Roundup won’t kill this thing completely. And like a bad weed it will keep popping up and will take a massive effort to kill it.

It’s been about a week since a lengthy preview from the conspiracy documentary “Plandemic” went viral across the internet. The 25-minute video sent tech companies like Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook into a frenzy as they scrambled to scrape it off their platforms.

The hoax — which featured discredited anti-vaccination scientist Dr. Judy Mikovits and has been debunked — sought to expose “the scientific and political elite who run the scam that is our global health system” and accused Dr. Anthony Fauci, a leading member of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, of burying anti-vaccination research.

However, over the past week, the Plandemic video has continued to resurface through alternative video hosting websites.

While other social media giants such as Facebook and YouTube have managed to slow the hoax’s spread, unofficial video links to the “Plandemic” documentary continue to seep through Twitter’s policies and moderating algorithms.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: TV Spinoff Showcase
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Hey everyone, yet another shitty week in quarantine and I could really use a drink!

Well here we are in… what the fuck week is this? I forget. Anyway we’re still in quarantine, it still sucks that we can’t go anywhere. And of course this is the segment where we have some drinks and while we’re drinking we talk about literally anything that doesn’t relate to politics. This week we’re going to discuss some possible TV spinoffs. And one in particular caught my eye. Tell me o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about spinoffs? Some Fight Milk? Well that is a bar staple at Paddy’s Pub in Always Sunny In Philadelphia. But I will stick to Jack Daniels since that’s what I have on hand I have been stocking plenty of it! So which TV spinoff am I the most interested in? Well remember the show Entourage? Yeah there’s talk that uber-creep Jeremy Piven, responsible for everyone’s hot-headed, anger-challenged super-agent Ari Gold should get his own series.

Entourage fans, get ready to hug it out. Jeremy Piven is apparently open to returning to his signature character—foul-mouthed Entourage agent Ari Gold—for a spinoff series.

"Yes, I've been asked about doing a spinoff for Ari Gold," Piven said in a video Barstool Sports shared on Twitter on Thursday. "And I want to put it out there to the people: Is that something you guys might be interested in?"

"I just want to know, we will figure out a hashtag," he added. (Might I suggest #GoForAriGold, Mr. Piven?) Piven also mentioned that if a spinoff happened, he'd bring along Lloyd, Ari's assistant/protege, played by Rex Lee.

Gold—the temperamental and often inappropriate agent who was equal parts unpredictable and brilliant at his job—was arguably the best character on Entourage. (Apologies to all the Johnny Drama stans out there.) He was certainly the breakout character, thanks to Piven's fiery performance and his way with insanely explicit lines, none of which will be quoted here. The actor was awarded several times over for his performance—he nabbed a Golden Globe and three Emmys for the role.

I wonder how Ari and Lloyd are going to work in this socially distant nightmare hell world we’re currently living in? But since we currently have nothing to do but stay at home and watch TV, how are we going to pass the time until social distancing ends? I mean do we really need a spin off of the “Married At First Sight” people living under quarantine? I would probably shoot the TV. Well how about an American Horror Story spin off?

Ryan Murphy is bringing the American Horror Story cast back together for a special new project.

The series creator announced via Instagram that an anthology spin-off series called American Horror Stories is in the works, sharing the news alongside a photo from a recent AHS virtual reunion. Participants included Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson, Denis O'Hare, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Emma Roberts, Adina Porter, Billie Lourd, and Dylan McDermott.

“American Horror Story cast zoom call...where we reminisced about the good times...the spin-off we're doing called American Horror Stories (one hour contained episodes)...when we will start filming the next season of the mothership...and other stuff I cannot print. It was so much fun and I'm glad we caught up. I miss everyone," he captioned a photo of the group chat.

A representative for FX, home of the American Horror Story franchise, had no further information about the spin-off.

Yeah seriously GTFO with this crap! How about a Star Trek spinoff? We currently have two Star Trek spinoffs on a network that we don’t watch or get – the CBS All Access. Really? Does anybody subscribe to that? Where’s my assistant at? LLOYD!!!! Oh wait, we don’t have any assistants right now. But this does sound promising assuming it can be shot in the post social distancing era.

Three of Star Trek: Discovery’s most popular characters are getting their own spinoff series for CBS All Access.

The new show will be called Star Trek: Strange New Worlds and will follow Anson Mount’s Captain Christopher Pike, Rebecca Romijn’s Number One and Ethan Peck’s Spock in the decade before Captain Kirk commanded the U.S.S. Enterprise through the stars. The show will follow the three shipmates as they travel the galaxy and explore new worlds.

The series premiere of Strange New Worlds is written by executive producer Akiva Goldsman, who will continue to serve as a key creative voice on Star Trek: Picard as well. Just like CBS’s other Star Trek shows, this one will be overseen by Alex Kurtzman. Kurtzman and fellow Discovery producer Jenny Lumet collaborated with Goldsman on the story for the series’ first episode.

Strange New Worlds is one of many shows set in the Star Trek universe that’s on the way in the near future. Rick and Morty writer Mike McMahan’s animated series Star Trek: Below Decks is headed to CBS All-Access. There’s also a show based on Section 31 — a secret and semi-unauthorized branch of Starfleet that handles delicate missions and covert operations — starring Michelle Yeoh that’s currently in development and a new CG-animated series for Nickelodeon. Along with all these upcoming shows Star Trek: Discovery’s third season is set to release sometime in 2020 along with Star Trek: Picard season 2, which doesn’t have a release date yet.

Ah chugging beers, I miss those times. Hopefully they will return again and we’ll be able to put this weird time behind us. But here’s one thing though – since enough content has been produced to last us for a millenia, we may actually run out of fresh material if new shows can’t be produced. Which begs the question – when do we get a vaccine for this shit? We need one!!! We can’t run out of new TV!!!! I mean it!!

We'd be lying if we said Netflix hasn't been somewhat of a saving grace during these unprecedented times. The past month has brought a wave of new original content on the streaming platform, from series like Outer Banks and Mindy Kaling's Never Have I Ever to films like Extraction. While many people are itching for stay-at-home orders to be lifted, Netflix has been able to make this time at home a lot more bearable. Of course, the new content can't last forever. When will it run out?

In an interview regarding the eventuality of a content shortage, Netflix Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos assured CNN that although all production around the world has been shut down, the company's 2020 slate of series and films have already been largely shot.

"We deliver all our shows with all episodes at once, so we're pretty far ahead. We don't see any disruption in our output over the next few months."

Though the next few months are safely secured in terms of new original content, what does that mean for the latter part of the year or early 2021? Some of Netflix's projects are starting to see the effects of physical production being stuck at a halt; but production teams, casts, and executives are finding ways to (safely) nurture the creative process until in-person production can continue, Sarandos shared. One of these ways is virtual table reads of new episodes among actors and writers, giving subscribers hope that new content won't get lost in the shuffle, and when the time does come for people to return to work, Netflix employees will be more than prepared — as if almost no time was lost.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 3 Week 1: The Final Four
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Welcome back to Stupidest State Round 3! Yes, the third round is finally here! Last week, Michigan’s stunning comeback left Nebraska out of the contest and secured the Final Four for this year! That said, let’s introduce the Final Four and get underway! From the Batshit Conference, it’s the Gem State, Idaho! From the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, it’s the Wolverine State, Michigan! From the Gun Nut Conference, it’s the Sunshine State, Florida! And from the Family Values Conference, last year’s champion, it’s the Cotton State, Alabama!!! Let’s get ready to rumble! We go now live to the floor at the home of the Anaheim Ducks, the Honda Center in Anaheim, for the action! And of course since all the conferences are competing against each other all rules have been thrown out the window and we will just talk about whatever we feel like!

[font size="4"]Layover League Championship: Idaho Vs Michigan:[/font]

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

Well last time Idaho stunned the Batshit Conference by upsetting favorite #1 Virginia and upsetting the Batshit Conference for the first time in many years. And why is that? Because Idaho gun nuts are a special breed of insane. And since they can’t beat Oregon gun nuts, they’ve itching to take away a sizable portion of Oregon’s rural jurisdictions. But would that work or would that backfire on them big time? Well, it has the potential to do both. But instead we’re going to talk about another industry of Idaho – meat packing! Of which COVID is decimating the meat packing industry.

At least 23 employees working at a beef processing plant near Boise, Idaho, have tested positive for the coronavirus, health officials confirmed Saturday.

One additional employee is presumed to have the virus, and two other contract employees have tested positive, Central District Health spokesperson Christine Myron told the Idaho Statesman.

The majority of the employees have recovered, Myron said. Some of the employees who tested positive do not live in the Central District Health area, which serves Ada, Boise, Elmore and Valley counties.

Steve Cherry, CS Beef Packers plant manager, said in a statement that plant employees working in close proximity may have been exposed to the virus. Employees who are ill will remain at home until officials confirm they are recovered, Cherry said. Employees will be compensated for time away from work, he said.


Yes holy shit indeed! And by the way speaking of the stay at home orders, do we really need this douchebag as their spokesperson? I don’t need to remind you of what they turned that Oregon bird shelter into, or the mess they left off that freeway intersection in Reno. Yes, it’s the Bundy clan, and do we really need them fucking things up? Just when you think you can’t make a bad situation worse.

In the video, a man in a black cowboy hat and jacket stands on the sidewalk, offering his commentary on the arrest of Sara Brady, a Meridian woman who was arrested April 21 for trespassing after staging a protest at Kleiner Park, where some facilities had been closed due to COVID-19 concerns.

"It was a woman at a park with her children, and she was arrested," the man said. "Completely inappropriate—that's just the way it is. What will happen is, they'll grind her in the system that's called 'justice,' I guess, until they spit her out, until she's given up or you guys get your say. That's the way I see it, and I've been there."

Indeed, he has. The man in the video is Ammon Bundy, whose previous encounters with law enforcement include the standoff at his father's ranch in 2014 and another standoff at the Malheur Wildlife Refuge in Eastern Oregon, where he played a central role. The aforementioned video was shot from the sidewalk in front of the home of one of the officers involved in Brady's arrest, where dozens of people staged a protest the evening of the incident.

In a statement released on Facebook, the Meridian Police Employee Association expressed its frustration with both Brady and Bundy's protests, and shock at the intrusion into the private life of a police officer.

Read more: https://www.idahopress.com/boiseweekly/news/citydesk/ammon-bundy-protests-arrest-of-stay-home-order-dissenter-at-officers-home/article_953dec02-aa9f-5a18-a392-19e37b6a8c89.html

[font size="4"]Michigan:[/font]

So we’ve seen Idaho and how crazy their right wing is. Now let’s see Michigan. They’ve previously been hot players in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, but this year they’ve managed to top themselves going into the 2020 election. Because as you may or may not be aware, Michigan’s MAGAs and gun nuts have stormed the capitol and we are left with the stuff of pure insanity. See, the Trumpsters and MAGAs aren’t exactly the brightest bulbs in the light fixture. So when you fill their heads with propaganda that this is bad, well, this is what we get.

Dozens of angry Michiganders, fueled by conspiracy theories and disinformation about the coronavirus, are promoting violence and mobilizing armed rallies against Gov. Gretchen Whitmer on Facebook, in violation of the social media company’s policies.

Metro Times gained access to four private Facebook groups that can only be seen by approved members. The pages, which have a combined 400,000 members, are filled with paranoid, sexist, and grammar-challenged rants, with members encouraging violence and flouting the governor’s social-distancing orders.

On Sunday, after being contacted by Metro Times, Facebook removed one of the groups, Michigan United for Liberty, and deleted posts on others for violating the company’s policy against inciting violence. Facebook announced last month that it will remove groups and events that encourage people to defy social-distancing measures. Facebook also is investigating the other groups...


And in case you’re wondering just how far the Wolverine State is devolving thanks to everything that is going on, look no further than one of their flagship universities, Michigan State University. Based in Lansing, it’s right next to the state capitol. And well, last year, some shit went down involving an extremely racist incident. Look, government still has to go on people. We’ve still got business to conduct, but people are losing their minds.

-- A fight broke out on the steps of the Michigan Capitol Thursday morning during a protest aimed at Gov. Gretchen Whitmer and the ongoing state of emergency and stay-at-home orders.

J. Scott Park, an MLive photographer, witnessed the fight break out after a man carrying a garbage can filled with a sign, an ax and an American flag removed the flag from the can. Attached to the bottom of the flag was an unclothed doll with brown hair that was hanging from a noose.

Organizers of the protest called the display “hate speech” and when one protester tried to take the doll off the flag a skirmish broke out. The man who brought the flag fled away from the fight and to the lawn of the Capitol where Michigan State Police surrounded him.

The man was taken into the Capitol building following the altercation. Michigan State Police reported there were no injuries and no arrests were made.

MSP public information officer Lt. Brian Oleksyk said the man who brought the flag was interviewed by police and he will be allowed to press charges if he elects to.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a winner!!!! Michigan sinks 8 unanswered in a row, they handily defeat Idaho by the score of 88 – 79. Idaho, you had a good run and we will see you next year. Michigan, come on down and cut that net!

[font size="4"]Flyover League Championship: Florida Vs Alabama:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

One of the biggest winners in the Stupidest State contest is undoubtedly Florida. Yes, America’s penis, the Sunshine State, always brings the stupid and crazy. I can always point out a million stories emphasizing the greatness of Florida Man. And well, Florida companies being run by Florida Men and Florida Women aren’t immune from this either. Because as we’ve said, business has to go on and it hasn’t stopped business from putting employees and property in reckless danger.

An Oveido construction company’s workers on faced cave-in hazards via safety violations OSHA classified as “Willful.”

Cathcart Construction faces fines of $303,611 from nine violations found at worksites in Orlando and Winter Garden, the Department of Labor announced.

Most of that proposed fine, $242,886, comes from the two “Willful” violations, one at each site. Of OSHA’s violation classifications, “Willful” is the worst, defined as “a violation in which the employer either knowingly failed to comply with a legal requirement (purposeful disregard) or acted with plain indifference to employee safety.”

The Citation and Notification of Penalty said on Jan. 10, at a sewer improvement project in Winter Garden, workers “were exposed to a cave-in/engulfment hazard” while toiling in a six-foot, one-inch deep, six-feet long, excavation next to traffic.

Yeah so Florida businesses got to be Florida businesses. But this might the most Florida thing to happen in 2020 and this is both for Florida and for 2020. Because in 2020 going to the beach in Florida is considered a death sentence, naturally, you got to have the Grim Reaper serve as a reminder of the problem that we’re facing. But yeah don’t be like Florida Man.

Uhlfelder is a staunch advocate for public beach access in the state, even butting heads with former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, whose Florida Panhandle home is parked on a private beach. But allowing anyone on the beach during the pandemic is a mistake, he said -- one that could endanger the community.

"We aren't at the point now where we have enough testing, enough data, enough preparation for what's going to be coming to our state from all over the world from this pandemic," the lawyer told CNN.

Scythe in hand, he traveled to beaches around Walton County, Florida, that have reopened ahead of the state's planned May 4 reopening. "Phase One" of the reopening will allow restaurants and retailers to open at 25% capacity. Bars, salons and gyms will stay closed for now.
The beaches he visited Friday were "very crowded," he said.

"I know how beautiful and attractive our beaches are. But if we don't take measures to control things, this virus is going to get really, really out of control," he warned.

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Florida’s next door neighbor, Alabama, is always guaranteed to do something equally as ridiculous as Florida is. While most states are weighing how to lift their “stay at home” orders amid the COVID-19 pandemic that’s destroyed lives and wrecked the economy beyond repair, Alabama is figuring how to deal with the situation. And we may also feature their governor Kay Ivey on a future “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. However, Alabama wins the Family Values Conference time and time again because, simply put, they don’t care about families.

Coronavirus fallout: Pay raises for Alabama teachers, state employees unlikely to happen
A Senate committee Tuesday approved a General Fund budget that rolls back spending increases — including pay raises for state employees — but doesn't eliminate agency funding increases entirely.

The $2.3 billion budget, approved by the Senate Finance and Taxation General Fund committee, would represent a $167.3 million increase (7.5%) over this year's budget.

Sen. Greg Albritton, R-Atmore, the chairman of the budget committee, said after the vote on Tuesday that the economic downturn was chiefly affecting taxes that go into the Education Trust Fund (ETF), which pays for most public education in the state.

"Most of the revenue plummeting that's going on appears to be affecting the ETF," he said. "We've done changes with the whole way we do the budget ... so that now we have a healthy General Fund budget. We're not searching between the sofa cushion for dollars."

Read more: https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/2020/04/28/pay-raises-teachers-state-employees-unlikely-happen-year/3036184001/

Yeah that’s about how Alabama treats its’ working families. And by the way, the constitution doesn’t really matter when making tough decisions. Or maybe it does depending on who’s making the tough decisions that will keep us safe as opposed to, I don’t know, dying of a deadly disease that is turning your lungs inside out and frying your brain. Maybe when making decisions, don’t listen to people like this, especially if you’re the governor of Alabama or the president.

State Attorney General Steve Marshall on Tuesday warned Alabama cities not to stray from the state constitution when passing stricter regulations than Gov. Kay Ivey’s new coronavirus order.

Ivey announced Tuesday that the state stay-at-home order will expire Thursday at 5 p.m. in favor of a so-called “Safer at Home” order, where general retailers will be allowed to reopen at 50 percent capacity. Some restrictions from the stay-at-home order will still apply, including restaurants relegated to only curbside or take-out orders and bars remaining closed.

Some cities, including Birmingham, adopted new ordinances to help contain the coronavirus amid the governor’s new order. The Birmingham City Council approved an ordinance mandating residents wear masks when out in public, with exceptions for exercising.

“As the state begins to phase out of the stay-at-home order, municipalities are wrestling with individual and, in some cases, unique decisions regarding the preservation of the health and safety of their residents. In light of today’s announcement, some municipalities have already expressed their intent to impose or maintain more restrictive orders than the state," Marshall said in a statement. "Though Alabama law grants municipalities broad ‘police powers’ when it comes to protecting the public health and safety, these powers must be exercised within constitutional parameters. Municipalities are thus strongly advised to carefully balance the constitutional implications of imposing and enforcing more restrictive safety measures against the need for such measures. As case law tells us, the broadness of these police powers is not a license to abuse them.”

Read more: https://www.al.com/news/2020/04/marshall-warns-cities-not-to-stray-from-constitution-when-making-stricter-orders-than-state.html

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have another winner!!! Florida routes Alabama by a score of 18! They take the Flyover League and they’ll face Michigan in a showdown for the ages! Final score: 99 – 81. Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Stupidest State championship! Michigan. Florida. One of these two states will be crowned the 2020 Stupidest State champion! We will be there with the contest and crown our 2020 reigning champion! The champagne is on ice!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="4"]AWOLNATION[/font]

Folks I know we can’t have live bands for the foreseeable future but I do have a new song from a band I love, LA’s AWOLNATION. This is called “Pacific Coast Highway” and features Rivers Cuomo from Weezer!

See you next week for our 8th season finale!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 20, 2020, 05:00 PM (3 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is our 200th show everybody! And unfortunately I won’t get to have the live audience spectacular that my staff and my crew so richly deserve. But we will get through this and when we get to #250 next year then we will go all out assuming that this wretched virus is gone. But also this is not the way that I wanted to start, but we’re going to the late, great Mr. Jerry Stiller! Of course you know him as the father of actor Ben Stiller who has starred in such movies as Tropic Thunder and Dodgeball. But to me, one of my favorite TV shows has always been Seinfeld. And Frank Costanza, the father of George Costanza, was arguably one of the funniest characters on the entire series of Seinfeld. Not to mention the way he interacted with George’s mom, the equally funny Estelle Harris, and that was magic. So this week we will be paying tribute to Mr. Stiller throughout this edition with some of Frank Costanza’s best moments. Whether it was him giving a tour of a restroom, or him fighting an unhinged Elaine at the police station, or him screaming at Morty Seinfeld about taking up residency at the new Florida condo Del Boca Vista, we’ll always remember Frank Costanza. Oh and there was also my favorite moment, the infamous “Feats Of Strength” which happened during the celebration of Festivus in “The Strike”. So throughout this edition, we will be paying tribute to the late, great Jerry Stiller. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into the extremely dire situation that the USPS is in thanks to the shithead virus and our equally shithead president:

At least for our 200th show, we won’t bog you down or bum you out with all the news surrounding the shithead virus that’s been impacting our live and taking a toll on us mentally, physically, and emotionally. Well in the first slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1) and well, as the old saying goes, “he who denied it, supplied it”. Taking the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). He managed to escape the tepid boredom of being at the White House all day, went to Arizona, and it was quite the shit show. At slot #3, is our old buddy Jacob Wohl (3). Yes he is back and his latest attempt to pay someone to scream sexual harassment, backfired on him big time. Taking the fourth slot this week is an all new “We’re All Gonna Die” (4). And if you think that the coronavirus is bad, wait until you see the killer hornets that Asia has sent our way! Can we have a doover on 2020 please? In the fifth slot this week is a new Top 10 Investigates (5) and what exactly happened in Mississippi? It turns out that a state audit has uncovered some huge money being spent very foolishly. Taking the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and is COVID taking a huge dump on your religious rights? Our resident pastor is here to tell you the easy answer to that question – “no”. In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – it is really time to put to rest the rumors surrounding Joe Biden and Tara Reade, because well, the more you argue about it, the more foolish you look. At slot #8 this week is the return of the segment where we dissect the latest in the world of batshit crazy, and that is “Conspiracy Corner” (8). Was Trump justified in his firing of disgraced FBI director James Comey? Quick! To the Q Mobile! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is an all new People Are Dumb (9) and the pandemic hasn’t stopped people from being stupid! Finally this week, Stupidest State Round 2 draws to a close as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against red hot #4 Nebraska! And to top it off, we’re going to celebrate our 200th edition with the new Rolling Stones song, appropriately titled “Living In A Ghost Town”! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey Trump! Remember that thing you said was a hoax and that it would just blow over by February and that we’d all get back to normal and live the lives we were supposed to be living? Well guess what? Not only is it very real, it’s killed 81,000 to date (in republican numbers, that’s 25,250 Benghazis). It is living and breathing inside that government owned building that you’ve claimed as your residence, and it’s infected your staff! And it’s probably infected you too, you just don’t know it yet. But how did we get here? Well they keep denying it, downplaying it and blaming it on somebody else, because that’s how the “take no responsibility” party rolls. As the saying goes from my grade school years, he who denied it, supplied it!

On the night of Saturday, May 9, President Donald Trump tweeted five Fox News clips: One from Sean Hannity’s Hannity, two from Jeanine Pirro’s Justice With Judge Jeanine, and two from Jesse Watters’ Watters’ World.

All of the clips were about a supposed “coup d’état,” as the Fox anchors called it, committed by the Obama administration during the lead-up to the 2016 presidential election. "Obamagate, that's the subject of tonight's 'Watters Words'" segment, Watters said. "The Obama people got caught this week and it looks like it goes straight to the top."

But just what is Obamagate?

Although the #Obamagate hashtag has been popular across all major platforms, it has also elicited confusion from people not tapped into the inscrutable narratives of Trump’s fervent online base.

And the president did little to clear up the confusion in a press conference on Monday afternoon: "Obamagate, it's been going on for a long time, it's been going on from before I even got elected,” the president said. Asked specifically what crime he was accusing Obama of, the president declined to answer. "You know what the crime is. The crime is very obvious to

Remember not even last week when Vice President Jared Kushner said that by July this country would be rocking? Well, this is more like “drop it like your blood clots”. So the Coronavirus has officially come to the White House. But who’s got it? And what could happen? And why was Trump allowed to go to Arizona last week? So many questions and not enough answers!

Over one dozen people in the White House have tested positive for the coronavirus within the last week — and many of them are thought to have come into contact with President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence.

The slew of new cases has prompted the White House to crack down on their coronavirus policies. From the beginning, Trump and his administration have been criticized for failing to maintain social distancing guidelines and not wearing face masks in public.

But now, President Trump has ordered the use of face masks within the West Wing. Secret Service agents have been reportedly told to cover their faces when they come in contact with the president, even though Trump himself refuses to wear one.

Additionally, Trump and Pence are reportedly maintaining their distance from one another in order to lower the risk of exposure.

Hey you know what? Let’s expand this a bit. Yeah Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance because Trump’s probably got it! And I wouldn’t be surprised if Pence had it either. Shit, the entire staff is probably infected at this point. But let’s all point out how much of a fucking terrible idea this is, and that it could have serious consequences. Especially if Trump wants to open up the country and hold his stupid MAGA rallies again!

The White House is testing its staff for coronavirus using a device that has been criticized for giving false negatives.

The New York Times reported that the White House is using the ID Now rapid testing system, which can give results in less than 13 minutes.

However, one study in late April found that it was showing a false negative in around 15% of cases — a result affirmed by the director of the National Institutes of Health.

Abbott Laboratories, the test maker, said around the same time that its tests can indeed produce false negatives in certain conditions.

It said that false negatives can occur when used with samples which are dissolved in liquid. It said the tests work properly when a swab with the sample is put directly into the device.

OMFG. Trump really thinks he’s going to test the whole country? I am absolutely shocked (not) that the tests are providing false positives. Hell, if you think Trump’s the guy to trust in reopening the country, I have a can of magical silver solution to sell you! And you can wash it down with a boba shake made from Clorox and Tide Pods. Love that visual! But Trump and Pence are maintaining their distance for now, it seems.

President Trump and Vice President Pence will be "maintaining their distance in the immediate future" on the advice of the White House Medical Unit, a senior administration official told NPR. They were last seen together at the White House on Thursday.

At a Monday White House briefing, which the president attended but the vice president did not, Trump suggested that he might be keeping his distance from Pence for the time being.

"We can talk on the phone," Trump said.

Last week, the press secretary for Pence and a military valet for the president tested positive for the coronavirus.

Pence and others who were in contact with the coronavirus patients have since tested negative, but the virus can take days to incubate. The cases have heightened concerns about the nation's ability to safely reopen.

[div style="padding: 20px; background-color: #ffffff; border-radius: 10px; box-shadow: 0px 2px 4px 1px #aaa;"][div style="font-family: arial, helvetica; font-weight: bold; border-bottom: 1px dotted #999; padding-bottom: 8px;"]
[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Hey look, we got to talk about Trump’s taste in music for a minute. Am I the only one who’s alarmed by the fact that he plays the Rolling Stones’ classic song “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” at the end of his rallies? Let’s dissect the message he’s trying to tell us – you can’t always get what you want, but if you try some times, you get what you need. So when Trump got bored and stir crazy and decided to hop Air Force One to Arizona to tour a Honeywell plant that recently converted to manufacturing PPE to help deal with our current coronavirus crisis. How did that work out? Well, in the words of Trump’s favorite song, you can’t always get what you want.

As President Trump attempts to project an image of America rising out of quarantine and beginning to reopen, he traveled on Tuesday to an Arizona factory that's expanded into production of N95 face masks to respond to the coronavirus pandemic.

And while the trip was in part meant to tell a positive story about the Trump administration's response, it also highlights the challenges of the moment.

Arizona remains under a modified stay-at-home order until May 15, though Republican Gov. Doug Ducey allowed some retail establishments to begin to open voluntarily Monday. The state hasn't yet notched the two consecutive weeks of reduced COVID-19 cases called for as a first step in the White House guidelines for reopening. In fact, the number of confirmed cases in the state is on the rise.

And Trump's trip itself was anything but normal. Those traveling with the president or coming in close proximity to him in Arizona were tested for the coronavirus.

Attendees to the president's remarks, about 70 or so people, wore masks and were seated spaced apart from one another.

Yeah these are the kind of people who would literally press the button that says “do not press button” and they actually did that {see: Top 10 #3-5 ). Yes, the Trump administration are literally the people why we need “do not touch” signs because, owning the libs. Now here is where it gets weird. While touring the factory, the workers blasted the Guns N Roses version of the classic Paul McCartney James Bond theme “Live And Let Die” and well, you can’t make this up.

President Donald Trump did not wear a face mask — as is recommended by health officials to aid in preventing the spread of COVID-19 — during his tour of a Honeywell factory in Phoenix, Arizona on Tuesday.

As Trump toured the factory, which is producing N95 masks for the federal government, he and other officials wore safety glasses but did not wear masks. In a clip from Reuters, at one point on the tour, workers blasted Guns N’ Roses’ cover of the James Bond theme song from Wings, “Live and Let Die.” As Trump spoke to a worker that was wearing a mask, he could barely be heard over the din as he asked how many masks were made in a day and the worker’s response is hard to discern. Afterward, Trump gave a thumbs up to the camera. A sign in the factory stated that masks were required in the factory, per CNBC.

Trump, who early into the coronavirus pandemic advised against masks, has refused to wear them despite mounting recommendations from health experts advising everyone to do so. Though he told reporters prior to his factory visit that he would wear a mask if it was mandatory at the factory, a White House official said Honeywell told the White House that masks did not need to be worn, according to CNBC.

In April, Vice President Mike Pence, who is head of the White House’s coronavirus task force, ignored Mayo Clinic’s policy of requiring a face mask. Instead, Pence toured the medical facility and visited patients maskless.

So that happened. It’s one of those things that you literally cannot make up no matter how hard you try, and believe me, we’ve tried here. And by the way, Axl is no fan of Trump. But when one of the biggest rock stars in the world takes on one of the guys with the biggest ego in the world, well, let’s just say it’s on like Donkey Kong! Really this might be the most 2020 thing to happen to 2020 so far, and we’re only 5 months into this year.

Guns N' Roses frontman Axl Rose didn't hold back on his view of Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, setting off a Twitter spat during the middle of a global pandemic.
"It's official! Whatever anyone may have previously thought of Steve Mnuchin he's officially an [a**hole,]" Rose tweeted Wednesday night.
Less than two hours later, Mnuchin hit back at Rose, with a now-deleted tweet "What have you done for the country lately?" that some pointed out included an emoji of the flag of Liberia. Mnuchin tweeted the snarky response again and included an emoji of the American flag.
Rose took a jab at Mnuchin's flag mixup and responded, "unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths."

"My bad I didn't get we're hoping 2 emulate Liberia's economic model but on the real unlike this admin I'm not responsible for 70k+ deaths n' unlike u I don't hold a fed gov position of responsibility 2 the American people n' go on TV tellin them 2 travel the US during a pandemic," he tweeted, apparently referencing Mnuchin's comments during an interview with Fox Business Network on Monday.

Let’s get it on!!! By the way after what’s happening in our first entry this week, future mask factory photo op tours and campaign rallies won’t be happening because well, Trump doesn’t care if he has the virus and who he could give it to. Plus, who would want to be associated with him after the disaster at Honeywell? Well, this is becoming quite insane and don’t expect Trump to follow the rules any time soon.

A Pennsylvania mask factory postponed a visit from President Donald Trump last week because it worried that the event could spread the coronavirus among workers.

The Washington Post reported on Monday that Trump was due to visit a Braskem factory on Friday to thank workers who are making personal protective equipment.

Citing documents and two people familiar with the decision, The Post said factory bosses asked to postpone the visit over concerns that Trump's visit could jeopardize workers' safety and harm the factory's ability to make the materials for masks and other medical supplies.

Trump and Vice President Mike Pence have been criticized for how they have handled similar events.

In early May, Trump was pictured touring a Honeywell mask-making factory without wearing a mask himself, though he later said he wore a mask "backstage."

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[font size="8"]Jacob Wohl
[br] [/font]

Answer me this: Are right wing smear artists like Jacob Wohl and Project Veritas just really shitty at their jobs? Every time they are in the news for attempting to smear people for not telling the supposed truth about Trump, it seems to blow up and backfire in their faces. But like a deranged Wile E. Coyote, they keep coming back for more. So what’s the latest blow up from the right wing smear artist? Well, this time, their target was the one guy who’s trying to keep us from dying in large numbers, and that’s Dr. Fauci. But we caught their latest scheme before it even happened, and even the people who it happened to didn’t even really know that it happened!

Last month, right-wing provocateurs Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman called another in a series of hapless press conferences designed to impugn their political enemies. This time they claimed to bring forward a woman to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci, the 79-year-old head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, of sexually assaulting her at a Four Seasons hotel in 2014.

The woman later contacted a journalist at Reason to 'fess up: She said she was Wohl's ex-girlfriend and the duo had paid her thousands of dollars to make the false accusation under a fake name. What's more, she had the tapes to prove it.

"The reality is that I've known Jacob since 2018 and that he charmed me into taking money to do this," she wrote, pointing to a photo of her sitting on Wohl's lap, which he had posted to Instagram months prior.

The smears — which have also targeted Democratic presidential candidates Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris, attorney Michael Avenatti and former special counsel Robert Mueller — have successfully raised Wohl's national profile. They have also raised significant questions about his possible liability for slander, libel, bribery, extortion and fraud.

Oh yeah, no question sir. He really is too stupid to insult. Now here’s where this story gets weird, because why wouldn’t it? It’s no mistake that the GOP has been on a massive disinformation campaign to discredit Dr. Fauci and the entire lockdown movement. But why the hell would he make advancements toward a woman who’s half his age? Well because Jacob Wohl is a deeply disturbed individual, like most hardcore Trumpsters.

A 26-year-old woman named Diana Andrade says that right-wing fraudsters Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman paid her to accuse Dr. Anthony Fauci of sexual assault.

Dr. Fauci, of course, is director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and a notable member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus task force who actually contradicts the president’s numerous lies about COVID-19.

Around April 27, Andrade (using the name Diana Rodriguez) initially claimed that in 2014, when she was 20 years old, she met Fauci at the bar of the Four Seasons Hotel in Washington, D.C.

“He looked rich and powerful, and I love smart men with grey hair,” she wrote. “He told me all about his fantastic career in medicine, so I went upstairs [to his room].”

After some sort of alleged “ineffective hotel bed wrestling” occurred, she claimed she managed “to flee with her honor intact,” adding, “Now, when I see him on TV touted as some kind of hero, I want the nation to know the truth. This is my truth. This is my story.”

Hey, that’s my move, damn it! Hotel bed wrestling? Who does that? And I’m not talking about what Trump did in that Moscow hotel with those Russian hookers. Allegedly! Allegedly!!! Seriously, these are some creepy motherfuckers. And really why the hell are you trying to take down the one guy who’s trying to save your life? Because well, money talks and bullshit walks.

I'd just finished Saturday morning's second cup of coffee when an email popped through, subject line: "Exposing Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman."

"Hi Nancy, I hope you are having a nice weekend. I feel very bad about lying to you and others about Dr. Fauci. I took it upon myself to call Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman and record them (see attached)… Many thanks and again, I feel very bad about all this. I apologize to you, the other reporters and Dr. Fauci."

The writer of the email identified herself as Diana Andrade. I had never before emailed with Andrade, but had spoken with her 10 days earlier, when I knew her as "Diana Rodriguez." At that time, Rodriguez alleged that when she was 20 years old, in 2014, she'd been sexually assaulted by Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and one of the most visible faces in the government's response to the COVID-19 pandemic.

For those lucky enough to be unfamiliar with the exploits of Wohl and Burkman, they are pro-Trump provocateurs who've found a niche drumming up fake sexual harassment allegations that end comically badly, including against former FBI Director Robert Mueller (who turned out to have been serving jury duty the day he was supposed to have committed the assault) and Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren (the press conference for which took place on Burkman's stoop, and whose supposed victim was a 24-year-old Marine).*

Man even Dave Grohl thinks you done fucked up! But really these morons are the world’s shittiest intelligence agents. It’s no wonder that we’re in the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century – you have a nation of morons, you get a moron president. And really, just like coronavirus, this is one thing that you really don’t want to spread. Or even at the very least be caught spreading.

The coronavirus outbreak has made Dr. Anthony Fauci, longtime director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, a household name.

As beloved as he is in some corners, Fauci is loathed in others. He has increasingly weathered attacks from conservatives and conspiracy theorists who disagree with his cautionary approach to the deadly virus and view him as a “deep state” enemy of President Donald Trump.

Last month, as the threats escalated, Fauci was assigned a security detail.

The latest attack on him comes in the form of an accusation of sexual assault.

Earlier this week, the Daily Dot received a press release from a woman claiming that Fauci sexually assaulted her in 2014. The release included the details of the allegation and said she and her representatives plan to hold a press conference on Tuesday in Washington, D.C.

All allegations of this nature are given equal consideration. But the more the Daily Dot looked into the details, the more things didn’t add up. The accuser didn’t respond to multiple requests to speak with her.

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Wooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Wooooooooo!! Woooooo! Wooo. Woo. Well, if the coronavirus doesn’t get you, then a new breed of killer hornets might get you! And be prepared to say goodbye to honey because it might be going the way of the dodo if these hornets from Japan have anything to say about it! And in the words of GOB from Arrested Development, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey. Because these killer hornets, which have been dubbed the “murder hornets” are nothing to fuck with. Just to think we’ve dealt with every disaster imaginable in 2020, well, we haven’t seen anything yet!

Even as the US remains under attack from the coronavirus outbreak, a new terror has arrived: "murder hornets".

The 2-inch (5cm) long Asian giant hornets, Vespa mandarinia, have been found in Washington state.

Multiple stings are deadly to humans and in their "slaughter phase" the hornets destroy honeybees, whose bodies they feed to their young.

Scientists are now on a hunt for the hornets, hoping to eradicate the species before they wipe out US bees.

Although they typically avoid people, in Asia, "murder hornet" stings are thought to cause as many as 50 human fatalities a year, according to the New York Times.

The hornets made their first North American appearance in August 2019, in British Columbia, Canada. Months later, in December 2019, the flying insects were reported south of the border in Washington state.

Yeah GOB’s not on board. But are these killer “murder hornets” really something to be frightened about with everything else that’s going on? Or could they just be another harmless mutation of an even scarier super bug? How dangerous of a killer insect are we talking about here? Well we might want to actually read about these things before we start freaking out. I mean come on 2020, throw everything you’ve got at us, we can take it!

The Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia) has arrived in North America. In the past several days photographs and videos have surfaced showing how viciously this insect has attacked honeybees elsewhere in the world: it crawls into hives and rips off the heads of bees in large numbers—making its supervillain nickname, “murder hornet,” feel disturbingly apt. U.S. government agencies and local beekeepers have sprung into action, hoping to eradicate the hornet—thus far seen just in Washington State and nearby Vancouver Island—before it can consolidate a foothold in the continent. Success may lie in how predator and prey interact naturally.

V. mandarinia is the largest hornet in the world. A female worker may grow to a length of nearly four centimeters (an inch and a half), and the insect has large biting mouthparts that enable it to decapitate its victims. Hornets are usually solitary hunters. But between late summer and fall, V. mandarinia workers may band together to conduct mass attacks on nests of other social insects, notably honeybees. This behavior even has a name: the slaughter and occupation phase. U.S. beekeepers supply billions of honeybees each year to help pollinate at least 90 agricultural crops. And they are worried that this new raider could further worsen already deep losses in important pollinator populations.

The hornet is native to Asia, ranging from Japan and Russia down to Thailand and Myanmar (formerly Burma). The first confirmed U.S. sighting was a dead specimen found in Washington last December. But several of the insects had previously been seen on Vancouver Island in British Columbia in the late summer and fall of 2019.⁠ No one yet knows whether the hornet is establishing a North American beachhead in the Pacific Northwest or if it will spread from there. If it does advance, that could mean trouble.

Ha, that episode is a fucking classic. But how are we going to spread the murder hornets? Well maybe not as much as coronavirus, and there’s no chance in hell these are coming to your neighborhood any time soon. It’s not like the dinosaurs and other unspeakable creatures at the end of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Oh spoilers? Come on, fuck that movie. And really we don’t need another disaster movie right now, since the entire world is a disaster thanks to coronavirus. But yeah in the terms of how the murder hornets could be spread, well, there’s a few things that would have to happen first.

When news of the Asian giant hornet’s arrival in the United States first broke, the public was understandably worried: First the coronavirus, now “murder hornets”? What’s next, three days of darkness?

But bug experts from Washington, where the hornet was discovered in the U.S., to California agree that the 2-inch hornet is probably not worth all the buzz it has generated — at least not yet.

“It’s not an existential threat; it’s something that can be managed. You just have to know that they’re there and take the necessary steps,” said Doug Yanega, senior museum scientist at UC Riverside’s Entomology Research Museum. He helped Washington scientists identify the hornets when they were first found.

“It’s like letting a virus spread — you don’t want to let your guard down.”

I like how confident that guy is. But we’re not gonna die just yet. Really people it’s time to calm the fuck down about the murder hornets. We’ve got more important things to worry about, and even bug experts think that we shouldn’t worry too much about the murder hornets. They’re really a non-issue in the bigger picture of things. But when it comes to listening to the experts, well, we’ll see who brings in more honey.

A superhero apparently awaits in the wings, ready to put a halt to the demented hornets.

But let’s take a moment to first figure out what the real story is about these seemingly and unabashedly notorious hornets.

Properly known as the Vespa mandarinia, this inch-and-a-half mega-sized hornet is considered a non-native species of the United States (they normally reside in Eastern Asia), and some of them in the Fall of 2019 were able to somehow “invade” into Vancouver Island, Canada, and also ended-up across the border into Washington state.

Efforts have been undertaken by wildlife entomologists and related specialists to find the hornet intruders and attempt to eradicate them.

According to the National Wildlife Federation, there have been no verified reports of the species in this year of 2020 as being spotted in the United States, and “there is currently no cause to believe that any of these hornets are still present in Canada or the U.S.” (per a May 8, 2020 posting by the NWF).

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Mississippi Audit Scandal
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

When greed and corruption happen at all walks of life, who is to blame? Well there’s many different levels of greed that happen all around us. We go to Mississippi for this story. Where there’s a tale of corruption and greed that is dwarfing and even eclipsing the Enron scandal. It appears that an audit of Mississippi’s financial assets revealed some absolutely ridiculous spending on some very lavish and unnecessary items. And when we say unnecessary items, we mean luxury sports cars, expensive houses, and much much more. Think of this as the Enron scandal, circa 2020. And we can’t even get out much right now.

Money meant to help poor residents was used to buy luxury cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament and hire family members of a top state official, according to a report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofit groups, which allegedly spent the cash in inappropriate or questionable ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report – alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He said, "If there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."

So in a time when the entire economy is entering levels not seen since the Great Depression because of social distancing measures, what’s $94 million in wasted government spending? This is the kind of government spending that the GOP warned us about. Not only that, how did celebrities like Brett Farve get involved in this? Because this is the kind of fraud that is well, beyond fraud. At least Farve is off the hook.

A nonprofit group caught up in an embezzlement scheme in Mississippi used federal welfare money to pay former NFL quarterback Brett Favre $1.1 million for multiple speaking engagements, but Favre did not show up for the events, the state auditor said Monday.

Details about payments to Favre are included in an audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services. State auditor Shad White said his employees identified $94 million in questionable spending by the agency, including payments for sports activities with no clear connection to helping needy people in one of the poorest states of the U.S.

Favre, who lives in Mississippi, faces no criminal charges. The audit report lists the payments to him as "questioned" costs, which White said means "auditors either saw clear misspending or could not verify the money had been lawfully spent." The Associated Press on Monday sent questions to Favre by text message and left a message for him with his longtime agent Bus Cook, and Favre did not immediately respond.

Favre also did not immediately respond to ESPN's request for comment.

That’s Farva. Not Farve. We had a typo in our search engine there. But not only was Brett Farve name dropped in this bizarre scandal, there was also some big name wrestlers in this thing that were being hired for motivational speaking gigs, never performed, but still got paid very well. This must be nice in this day and age to get paid this kind of money for not really doing anything.

Ted DiBiase, the former professional wrestler, has placed his lakeside home in Madison, MS, on the market. The ostentatious grappler once known as the “Million Dollar Man” is seeking $1,575,000 for the French Colonial retreat.

He and his family were recently named in a report by the Mississippi auditor's office as recipients of anti-poverty funds that were misspent on items unrelated to assisting the poor.

On 1.42 acres overlooking Reunion Lake, the “thoughtfully designed” residence covers nearly 6,000 square feet. Built in 2010, the home features five bedrooms and 5.5 baths, with a floor plan designed to take in lake views.

The main level includes a large foyer, private study, formal dining room, and living room. The family room is adjacent to a large kitchen with high-end appliances and finishes.

Yeah sure so the government of Mississippi just name dropped all Mississippi celebrities in a bizarre audit and wasteful spending. So Mississippi might be SOL when it comes to a wasteful spending spree, and these days that kind of money might be hard to find. But certainly they are not the only ones out there. The government of Mississippi is just the ones who got caught. And expect many more where that came from.

Money meant to help poor Mississippians was instead used to buy expensive cars, sponsor a college baseball tournament, hire family members of a top state official and pay Brett Favre for speeches he never gave, according to a new report from State Auditor Shad White.

The 104-page audit of the Mississippi Department of Human Services released Monday shows how federal welfare grant funds flowed from DHS into two nonprofits, which then frequently spent the cash in inappropriate or suspicious ways.

More than $94 million in welfare money spending was "questioned" by auditors, according to the report — alleging either outright misspending or lack of documentation showing it was spent properly.

In a statement, White said the report "shows the most egregious misspending my staff have seen in their careers at the Office of the State Auditor." He added that "if there was a way to misspend money, it seems DHS leadership or their grantees thought of it and tried it."

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Should we be shocked at the behavior coming from our fellow zealots on the right lately? No, I didn’t think so. Well, the Great Pandemic is not only a testament to the greatness and the worst that man can achieve, did you know that it is also a spiritual battle for your very soul? Because there’s a holy war brewing against the EVIL known as social distancing. This is not something that the good LAWRD would have ever envisioned! It’s not “love thy neighbor” as the good LAWRD JAYSUS would have you believe! No! instead, it’s a war for your very SOULS! Because the good LAWRD is using this as a time of spiritual revival.

Jerry Boykin, a retired lieutenant general who once led U.S. special forces, discussed the coronavirus during last week’s online event promoting “The Return,” a prayer-and-politics rally being convened by End Times author Jonathan Cahn. Boykin claimed that “everybody” he knows understands that COVID-19 came out of a lab in China—many scientists have publicly rejected the lab theory—and he suggested that the release of the virus was a “deliberate attack,” while acknowledging that the evidence is inconclusive. But Boykin was “hopeful and enthusiastic” that “we are seeing right now the beginning of a revival or Great Awakening” as more people are turning to God during the pandemic.

As the executive vice president of the Family Research Council and a member of POTUS Shield’s leadership council, Boykin serves as a bridge between traditional religious-right political groups and dominionist Pentecostal leaders who are among Trump’s most ardent supporters.

“We look at this COVID thing and we ask, ‘How can anything good come out of it?’ Well, Bible sales are up and online sermons are seeing record numbers of people coming to Christ,” Boykin said. “Now, you know, there’s a flip side, too, and that is that a lot of people are getting into pornography now, and the church is going to have a big burden to try and help people get off of it when this is all over with.”

During the livestream, which was hosted by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia, Cahn said that God changed the course of the nation by putting Ronald Reagan in the White House in response to a prayer event held at the U.S. Capitol in 1980. He mentioned that 1980 was also the year of the failed attempt to rescue American hostages being held in Iran, which ended in a disastrous helicopter collision in the desert. Amedia said Cahn’s mention of the failed Iran mission “put chills down my back” because Boykin had taken part in that mission.

Now Reverend, need I remind you that before the outbreak you guys were the ones who were cheerleading for the apocalypse? Now that we’ve got a taste of what Armageddon might be like, you guys are suddenly walking back on your comments? Really now. But if we want to get back to the fun times we had before the pandemic, Brother Jim is back and he’s got some more snake oil to sell you!

End Times pastor Jim Bakker has been facing various financial and legal problems ever since he used a February episode of his television program to promote a silver solution sold by his network by suggesting it could possibly kill the coronavirus and heal those who have been infected.

Bakker is currently being sued by Missouri Attorney General Eric Schmitt “for misrepresentations about the effectiveness of ‘Silver Solution’ as a treatment for 2019 novel coronavirus.” Yesterday, Bakker’s legal team issued a press release announcing that it had filed a motion to dismiss the lawsuit against Bakker, who they claim “is being unfairly targeted by those who want to crush his ministry and force his Christian television program off the air … This case is about religious freedom.”

The motion to dismiss contains a sworn statement from Maricela Woodall, who is Bakker’s adopted daughter and the Chief Operating Officer of Bakker’s Morningside Church ministry. Woodall asserts that Morningside considers Bakker’s daily television program to be a religious service and everything Bakker says on it to be a sermon directed at his congregation.

Woodall and Morningside insist that Bakker’s silver solution was “made available to this generation by God” for the benefit of their viewers and therefore any attempt to hold Bakker accountable for falsely promoting it as a coronavirus cure is an unconstitutional attack on Bakker’s religious liberty.

Now I am going to use that excuse in everything I do from now on. See? My solution was made available by GAWD!!! But with your accusations and conspiracy theories and fake cures, is it any wonder why GAWD is getting pissed? Well with friends like these, who needs enemies? This whole thing is really getting out of hand, and as your pastor, I am here to say.. fuck it. Can I get an amen???

Anti-abortion activist Alveda King implied last week that New York has been hit so hard by the COVID-19 pandemic because it is “the home of abortion.” Religious-right leaders routinely portray the U.S. as deserving of God’s wrath for permitting legal abortion.

King made her comments on a Wednesday night online gathering called by POTUS Shield founder Frank Amedia to promote “The Return,” a religious-right pre-election rally being planned for Sept. 26 on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. King, who is a member of the POTUS Shield leadership council, said she would be attending “The Return.”

On the call, Amedia asked King to talk about the topic of abortion, saying that “too many children have died, and the blood is crying out to our Lord.” Amedia reminded listeners that he has prophesied that God would allow President Donald Trump to name three Supreme Court justices and enough lower court judges to change the law of the land. Trump has an “assignment of God” to do away with abortion, Amedia said, which is a reason that POTUS Shield supports Trump:

But the biggest thing that I see, the biggest function we have, is we have a man that God has put his hand upon, and he has assignments, and one of the biggest assignments of all—besides busting up the Babylonian system and dealing with China, and all the other mantles that have fallen upon this single man—is the life of the unborn children. And that’s an assignment of God. And we have to see that all the way through, and we need to see that through to its conclusion … God cannot close his eyes to the murder of children and putting children on the altar and the sacrifice of our own selfishness and humanism.

Really? You know it’s not just children, there’s a whole lot of us that are going to die before all this is settled and the Great Pandemic goes away. By the way, in the middle of the worst pandemic in a century, here’s what our brothers and sisters on the right really think of you. Rather than wanting you to vote by mail which is the safe thing to do, the right would rather send you to die at the ballot box because, drum roll, voter fraud!

President Donald Trump’s political operation is battling efforts to expand vote-by-mail and his religious-right backers are helping lead the charge. On Intercessors for America’s monthly prayer call on May 1, True the Vote leader Catherine Engelbrecht told a group of pro-Trump prayer warriors that the struggle over expanded vote-by-mail is a “spiritual battle” for “control of the free world.”

Voting rights advocates and public officials around the country are working to expand voters’ ability to vote by mail in response to the public health risks that voting in person pose this year. (Dozens of cases of COVID-19 have been linked to voters and election workers from Wisconsin’s April 7 elections.) But Trump’s political operation is spending tens of millions of dollars to expand “its legal effort to stop Democrats from overhauling voting laws in response to the coronavirus pandemic,” Politico reported Thursday.

Intercessors for America and True the Vote are on board. Engelbrecht claimed on IFA’s call that the expansion of vote-by-mail is an effort to “absolutely destroy free and fair elections.”

True the Vote describes itself as a nonpartisan “citizen-led movement” working for “free and fair elections.” It has a track record of challenging voter registrations, supporting voter ID laws and voter-roll purges, and fielding election observers who provoked allegations of voter intimidation. It is planning to field off-duty police officers and veterans to patrol polling places this year.

Well we will be having signups because that’s exactly what the right doesn’t want! It’s not a spiritual battle for your soul, it’s a spiritual battle for your vote! And they are voting for the Dark One! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Joe Biden Allegations
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Look, people, look. Joe Biden, our presumptive democratic nominee for 2020, has his issues as being a bit of a creeper (see: Top 10 #6-14 ). But here’s the thing - there’s no credibility here among this latest series of allegations. And since the shit hit the fan with the Coronavirus, this should be like last on our list of priorities to investigate right now, don’t you think? And why are we investigating at this stage in the game? Well, conservatives love to investigate their political opponents because they’re emboldened by AM talk radio, Fox News, and the clergy. But really, get over the fact that he sniffed some people’s necks. This might be creepy behavior sure, but Biden has nothing on Trump!

A woman has filed a police report claiming that presidential candidate Joe Biden sexually assaulted her in 1993, according to reports.

Tara Reade filed a criminal complaint with the Washington Metropolitan Police Department of accusing the 2020 Democratic nomination of pushing her against the wall in a Senate corridor and penetrating her with his fingers, according to Business Insider.

The alleged incident occurred while Reade was working as a Senate staffer for Biden nearly 30 years ago.

Reade first made the claims against Biden last month. In a tweet, Reade thanked those who helped her come forward with the allegations, as well as "luminaries" who have supported her such as Susan Sarandon, John Cusack, and Rose McGowan.

Reade also confirmed that the statute of limitations around the claims against Biden have passed.

"I filed a police report for safety reasons only. All crim [sic] stats beyond limitations. Gratitude for all who have stood by me," Reade tweeted.

Eh… not really. As I said in the previous entry on this, on the creeper scale, Joe Biden is most definitely a 1 out of 10. Trump is easily a 9.5 out of 10. He might have to issue a few more quaaludes, Cosby style,sd to qualify for a full 10 out of 10. So why wait until the primaries are over for this, as the Dude says, new shit to come to light? And why wait 30 fucking years to report it?

The allegations of sexual misconduct by Tara Reade against the former vice-president Joe Biden have caused new fault lines within the Democratic party, especially between its left wing and the establishment.

Reade is a former Biden Senate staffer who has accused the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee of sexually assaulting her while she worked in his office in the 1990s. Biden and his campaign have flatly denied the allegations and major news outlets have continued to investigate.

Meanwhile, liberal grassroots activists have clashed with centrist Democrats and senior party figures over how to respond to the allegations. The arguments often point to how Democrats approached previous high-profile sexual assault allegations, such as the accusations by Christine Blasey Ford against Brett Kavanaugh during the now supreme court justice’s contentious confirmation hearings.

Peter Daou, a Democratic strategist who has argued that the “Democratic establishment” has moved to undercut Reade’s allegations, said three basic factions had emerged.

No people, now is not the time to get panicked about this sort of thing. Should these claims be investigated? Absolutely. Now we’re not going to say whether or not the claims hold any amount of water, because even we don’t know the answer to that. But even Trump himself thinks that these accusations should be false. Well yeah that speaks volumes about who he is, doesn’t it?

President Trump said Friday that he hopes the sexual assault allegation against his likely Democratic opponent, Joe Biden, is "false." The president also alluded to the 20-plus allegations of sexual misconduct and assault that have been leveled against him over the years.

Regarding the claim against Biden, "I don't know if it's false or not," Mr. Trump said on "Fox & Friends." "Joe is going to have to be able to prove whatever he has to prove, or she has to prove it, but that's a battle he has to fight."

"I've had many false accusations made, I can tell you that," he added. "Many. And maybe it is a false accusation. Frankly, I hope it is for his sake."

Mr. Trump's comments come a day after Tara Reade, a former Senate aide to Biden who says he sexually assaulted her in 1993, told Megyn Kelly in an interview that she thinks Biden should drop out of the presidential race. Biden is the presumptive Democratic nominee.

Also on Thursday, The Tribune newspaper in San Luis Obispo, California reported on a court document from the time of Reade's 1996 divorce proceedings that shows she told her ex-husband she had been sexually harassed when she worked in Biden's office. It did not accuse Biden personally or include an allegation of sexual assault.

Damn straight! They can’t even get the court filings right! So did future president Biden commit sexual harassment or not? Well the answer is even they don’t know. And come on, it was the 90s, everyone was engaged in that sort of thing. So I’m told. Although do we need to get the endorsement of the CAFSA? It seems they’ve made their decision clear, but really would there be any presidential candidate that they would endorse? Probably not.

The Coalition Against Fraternity Sexual Assault publicly removed Penn Democrats from their group on Tuesday. CAFSA said in a public statement that Penn Dems was removed because they endorsed former Vice President Joe Biden for president, a figure who has been accused of sexual harassment and assault.

CAFSA, an on-campus organization officially founded in September 2019 to combat rape culture and support historically underrepresented minorities, released their statement in a Google Document on Twitter. CAFSA's document highlighted allegations made against Biden and denounced Penn Dems’ response to the allegation that the former vice president had sexually assaulted Senate staffer Tara Reade in 1993.

"We are writing this statement not only to criticize Penn Dems for endorsing a sexual predator for President, but also to reinforce our commitment in supporting and believing survivors," CAFSA's statement read.

According the CAFSA's website, all clubs in the coalition "support the cause to expel fraternities from Locust Walk and replace them with cultural centers and wellness." By listing their club on the website, they are "committing to the cause and pledging solidarity."

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner: Comey Central
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Welcome back to a new edition of the segment where we proudly dissect the latest in the world of absolutely batshit online conspiracy theories, Conspiracy Corner! Just let me get out my trusty tin foil hat, which kind of needs some patching up since I can’t get foil thanks to COVID. But this week marks the third anniversary of the firing of disgraced FBI head James Comey. Since then, Trump has been turning the conspiracies up way past 11. And that has sent Trump supporters into maximum overdrive mode. Really, Trump is turning into the Grandmaster from the Thor franchise – he could tell his followers to take to the streets and they’d do it. So what’s wrong with this picture?

Donald Trump continued to fume over the Russia investigation on Sunday, more than a year after special counsel Robert Mueller filed his report without recommending charges against the president but only three days after the justice department said it would drop its case against Michael Flynn, Trump’s first national security adviser.

“The biggest political crime in American history, by far!” the president wrote in a tweet accompanying a conservative talk show host’s claim that Barack Obama “used his last weeks in office to target incoming officials and sabotage the new administration”.

The tweet echoed previous messages retweeted by Trump, which earned rebukes for relaying conspiracy theories. On Sunday afternoon the president continued to send out a stream of tweets of memes and rightwing talking heads claiming an anti-Trump conspiracy. One tweet by Trump simply read: “OBAMAGATE!”

Trump fired Flynn, a retired general, in early 2017, for lying to Vice-President Mike Pence about conversations with the Russian ambassador regarding sanctions levied by the Obama administration in retaliation for interference in the 2016 election.

Yeah probably! So why wait until now to launch an investigation into the investigators? Well knowing Trump and the conservatives, who wasted years and billions investigating Benghazi, are probably going to waste more years and billions. So what’s this grand conspiracy that seems to be burying Trump? And why is he going all out now in a blaze of glory? And do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? You bet your ass I don’t!

Paging James Comey — it’s time to stop tweeting — and lawyer up instead.

Take this beauty he tweeted on Saturday: “Bill Barr on CBS offers no facts. An AG should not be echoing conspiracy theories. He should gather facts and show them. That is what Justice is about.”

This is the same former FBI director who — with his co-conspirators at the highest echelons of the Department of Justice,and Democratic lawmakers hell bent on derailing the Trump administration — peddled the fact-free Russian “Collusion” Conspiracy. A hoax that’s since been disproven by the 22-month special counsel investigation as well as several congressional investigations that all found no such collusion existed between Russia and the 2016 Trump campaign.

Even Trump-hating former FBI agent Peter Strzok said in an uncovered text message at the outset there was “no there, there,” but those facts didn’t stop Comey and the Deep State from launching a counterintelligence investigation against the president and his 2016 campaign associates — and spying on them — to help Hillary Clinton get elected.

Oh it’s all fun and games until someone commits some light treason. But since we’re on the subject of Arrested Development, does this mean that someone can be charged for the same crime twice? First off, ask Roger Stone or Chelsea Manning. Well one of our favorite batshit crazy conspiracy theorists out there, Q Anon truther Ann Vandersteel, thinks she might have stumbled upon the secret – Comey may have already got arrested and it’s all a cover up! That’s what they want you to think!

Yesterday we noted that the prediction made on April 30 by right-wing QAnon conspiracy theorist Ann Vandersteel that former FBI Director James Comey, former CIA Director John Brennan, former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper, and various deep state “minions” would all be arrested by May 5 had obviously not come true.

Vandersteel initially made the prediction based on information she received from a source who she claimed “has never been wrong.” On last night’s “Steel Truth” program, Vandersteel addressed the fact that there is no evidence that any of these people have been arrested by saying that she got back in touch with her original source who told her that Comey may in fact have already been picked up.

Vandersteel’s source told her that he has had somebody “following James Comey for a while” who reports that Comey has not been seen since April 24.

“I have stressed over and over it was a rumor,” Vandersteel said. “I called my source last night about it, and I said, ‘You know, what do you think is going on?’ He said he’s had somebody, another person that he’s connected with, following James Comey for a while. He lives around the block, and he said James Comey was last seen in a supermarket on April 24, and that was the last time he was seen in public. His family and his house have been empty since April 24.”

“Maybe they’re on vacation. Who knows? I don’t know,” Vandersteel added. “Maybe the U.S. Marshals have them. I don’t know. Maybe he’s a cooperating witness. I have no idea.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumn
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Even the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century has stopped the flow of stupid. I want to start with this story out of Utah. Look, I get it – we’re sequestered in lockdown for god knows how long because of Coronavirus. And this has got to be especially boring for kids. I get it, I was a kid once. Video games and cartoon reruns can only get you so far. But this kid, who was dreaming of owning a ridiculously overpriced Italian sports car decided to take matters into his own hands. But was it really worth rewarding this recklessly insane behavior from this kid?

A driver who police suspected was under the influence on a Utah freeway Monday was really just underage — by a long shot.

The 5-year-old boy told a trooper he hit the road in his parents’ car so he could buy a Lamborghini in California. He took the wheel after his mother refused to purchase the luxury ride for him, said Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Nick Street.

One of Street’s colleagues was preparing to pull over a different driver for speeding about noon Monday when he spotted a car drifting in and out of its lane, braking erratically and switching lanes without a turn signal on southbound I-15, according to Street.

In dash cam footage released by UHP, the boy appeared to be driving a gray SUV. When the trooper turned on his siren, the boy quickly pulled over on the left side of the highway next to the median.

The trooper got out of his car, approached the vehicle and asked the boy a series of questions, including how old he was.

Man when I was five all I knew how to do was make Hot Wheels go down a track! Next up – dumb animals! Yes, even animals are not immune from being stupid! So stop me if you’ve heard this grade school nursery rhyme before. Once there was a pig who swallowed a tracking device. And the tracking device caught fire. Yes, that happened. And the damage might be more severe than you would think!

A fire on a farm in northern England was accidentally set ... by one of the pigs.

The firebug (firehog?) had swallowed a pedometer worn by one of its fellow pigs to demonstrate that the animals were free range, the BBC reported.

But after the pig excreted the pedometer, copper in its battery sparked a flame in the pig dung and dried hay bedding on March 7 at approximately 2 p.m. local time, according to the BBC. The fire spread to cover about 807 square feet (75 square meters) of the farmyard before it was contained, according to The Independent.

Four pigpens caught fire at the farm, located near Leeds in the county of Yorkshire, and fire crews from nearby Tadcaster and Knaresbororough rushed in with hoses to "save the bacon," the North Yorkshire Fire and Rescue Service tweeted on March 7.

Of course how could you not have a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning everyone’s most favorite penis-shaped state? I’m of course talking about Florida. And this is yet another one of those stories where life imitates art. And the art in this case is The Big Lebowski. Walter Sobchak is no role model by any stretch of the imagination. I also don’t think that Florida Man knows that’s one piece of art that shouldn’t be imitated.

Angered that a group of golfers was violating rules on the course adjacent to his home, a 74-year-old Florida Man allegedly threatened the players with a BB gun, prompting the septuagenarian’s arrest Friday evening on six felony charges, records show.

According to cops, John Robert Orr initially shouted at the golfers for driving their cart over a bridge and onto the putting green at the 8th hole of The Conservatory course in Palm Coast. The 199-yard, par three hole features an island green and is touted as the “signature hole” of the Tom Watson-designed course.

Seen above, Orr lives in a home that backs up to the hole, though the residence is separated from the course by a cement wall and the water that surrounds the green.

One of the golfers told police that Orr yelled at them to leave the course and that “use of the golf cart in that manner was against regulations of the golf course,” according to a charging affidavit.

Next up – I think Florida Man has been traveling but no one can really cross state or national lines right now due to the lockdowns. But in California, my home state, this is one thing you should not be doing when there’s a killer virus roaming the landscape capable of shredding your insides. Well, this is also another example of life imitating art, and another example of life imitating art when there’s no way you should be imitating it.

MODESTO, Calif. (KOVR/CNN) - A California man was arrested after he allegedly forced the driver of a tanker truck carring red wine to pull over, climbed onboard and began drinking from the tank, as the truck continued down the highway.

The dash cam video from a Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck hauling bulk red wine through Modesto, California, allegedly shows suspect 39-year-old Gabriel Moreno in a sedan, putting his hazard lights on and directing the truck to the side of the highway.

Believing he may have had a mechanical problem, the truck driver pulled over, only to see Moreno get out of his car wearing just underwear. He ran to the passenger side of the truck and out of view of the camera.

As the driver pulled back on the freeway, another onboard camera captured the suspect jump back into view then on the back of the wine truck. With no shirt and no shoes, Moreno rode on the side of the tanker then climbed underneath the truck as it hit freeway speeds.

Finally this week – one of my favorite movie series that has broken in the last 5 years has been undoubtedly the Keanu Reeves vehicle John Wick. I love these damn movies, and it’s a shame that Part 4 has been sidelined because of COVID. Chapter 3 was so good! But once again, you should never imitate art in this case, and especially not do something this ridiculously dumb. But what could possibly go wrong in this case?

A Florida man allegedly tried to blame a weapons bust on John Wick, the legendary assassin played by Keanu Reeves in the eponymous movie franchise, according to a new report.

Cops confronted Getro Gelin, 27, at his Port St. Lucie home Sunday after a woman told police he shoved her to the ground and threatened her with a firearm, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The woman told authorities Gelin may have stashed the weapon in his Porsche SUV, according to the report. Cops searched the vehicle and found a Glock 21 pistol, a semi-automatic rifle, and a bulletproof vest, according to the report.

When cops asked Gelin to explain, he explained that the SUV wasn’t even his anymore — he’d sold it “to his cousin John Wick,” according to the affidavit. ......(moe)


That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
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Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! We are in the home stretch everybody as just one conference championship remains before the Final Four showdown! Last week, Idaho stunned the favorite Virginia to take the Batshit Conference and advance to their first Final Four in franchise history! And we don’t need to tell you that the Layover League championship is set with Florida set to take on Alabama in a rematch of last year’s championship. This week it’s the last week of Round 2 as #1 Michigan is set to take on #4 Nebraska in a battle to go for broke in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We’re at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! Let’s go to the floor!

[font size="4"]Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference Championship[/font]

[font size="4"]#1 Michigan:[/font]

So we are nearly 4 years into the Trump administration and the once-bustling city of Flint still does not have potent water. But Michigan is facing a crisis of unwavering magnitude as COVID ravages the entire landscape. Mostly aimed at Gov. Whitman because conservatives be crazy and they are crazier than you’ve ever seen them during this pandemic. But how is Michigan going broke? Well here’s one way to make things worse – the elected representatives are the crooks!

The embattled elected official issued a statement Wednesday evening on the misdemeanor shoplifting offense.

"I would like to apologize to my family, friends and especially my constituents for my substantial lapse in judgement today, Wednesday, May 6. A combination of many external factors led to my poor judgement. The economic impact of the COVID-19 statewide lockdown has taken a serious toll on me personally," she said.

"I obviously was not thinking clearly, and I take full responsibility for my actions. Recently, I had to choose between insulin and food, and I chose the insulin, which helps me stay alive.

"Recent threats and harassment along with censure in Royal Oak for my attendance at 'Operation Gridlock' and a lack of sleep have resulted in my mistake. Thanks to the support of family and friends, I am now seeking treatment from medical professionals to ensure I never make a mistake like this again."

Read more: https://www.freep.com/story/news/local/michigan/oakland/2020/05/07/royal-oak-city-commissioner-kim-gibbs-shoplifting/3087242001/

Yeah somehow don’t use Nelson’s example. So how does Michigan plan to reopen the economy? Well there’s plenty of data out there that suggests that now is not the time to do that, despite what the gun nuts and the reopen protestors think. But the coronavirus has just ravaged everything and Michigan’s economy is no joke.

How severe a blow has the coronavirus pandemic and the resulting near-shutdown been to the Michigan economy?

Worse than you may suspect.

Charles Ballard, a professor of economics at Michigan State University who has spent his career specializing in the state, put it this way. “GDP, the nation’s Gross Domestic Product dropped about 26 percent from 1929 to 1933,” the worst of the Great Depression.

“Moody’s estimated that this year, it had fallen 29 percent in just the first three weeks of the pandemic,” he said. By Moody’s, he meant the highly respected analytics and investor services company.

What’s more, the professor thinks things have gotten even worse since then — and thinks Michigan may have been even harder hit. “You could say this is weird on steroids,” said Professor Ballard, author of the highly praised book Michigan’s Economic Future.

In some ways this is not as bad as the Depression. For one thing, there is a social safety net, things like unemployment insurance and food assistance that did not exist in 1929.

Yes! Holy shit indeed! But here’s the thing – why are white supremacists the ones who are the ones threatening to reopen the economy? What’s their motivation? And why are they threatening Gov. Whitmer like never before? Well there’s lots of reasons why they would and would not. But really, the Proud Boys can go lick subway poles. It’s insane to think this is where we’re headed.

A series of protests, primarily in state capitals, are demanding the end of COVID-19 lockdown restrictions. Among the protesters are people who express concern about their jobs or the economy as a whole.
But there are also far-right conspiracy theorists, white supremacists and citizens’ militia members at these protests. The exact number of each group that attends these protests is unknown, since police have not traditionally monitored these groups, but signs and symbols of far right groups have been seen at many of these protests across the country.

These protests risk spreading the virus and have disrupted traffic, potentially delaying ambulances. But as researchers of street gangs’ and far-right groups’ violence and recruitment, we believe these protests may become a way right-wingers expand the spread of anti-Semitic rhetoric and militant racism.

The Proud Boys, and many other far-right activists, don’t typically focus their concern on whether stores and businesses are open. They’re usually more concerned about pro-white, pro-male rhetoric. They’re attending these rallies as part of their longstanding search for any opportunity to make extremist groups look mainstream – and because they are always looking for potential recruits to further their cause.

While not all far-right groups agree on everything, many of them now subscribe to the idea that Western government is corrupt and its demise needs to be accelerated through a race war.

[font size="4"]#4: Nebraska[/font]

Man, Cartman seemed unusually happy there for a minute didn’t he? Well next we come to Nebraska who last time shocked Tennessee with a buzzer beater. But do they have what it takes to win the Fiscal Irresponsibility conference and send Michigan packing? Well as we discussed, Nebraska’s chief export is obviously corn. And also meat, as we have plainly seen is having a huge effect on the economy right now as COVID is ravaging meat farmers. In fact here’s what COVID has done to Nebraska’s economy.

An updated report shows the state's economy is taking a severe hit from the coronavirus pandemic.

New estimates from economists Ernie Goss and Scott Strain show that Nebraska has so far lost more than $834 million in economic activity as a result of COVID-19.

The figures, published in the new Platte Institute report, "The Economic Impact of COVID-19 on Nebraska's Economy: Second Cut, are based only on data through April 4. A version of the report released last week had estimated a $63 million loss in March.

The Platte Institute said total losses are expected to keep climbing and it will continue to release updated figures as new data become available.

The report estimates 96,147 job losses in Nebraska through early April, resulting in a loss of more than a quarter of a billion dollars in wages and salaries, and more than $30 million in self-employment income. These figures do not account for federal money that has come into the state through COVID-19 relief programs.

But here’s the thing – reopening things isn’t going to be that easy and it may take years to get back to pre-virus times. But let’s hope that governors don’t do anything stupid between now and then. Of course Trump certainly isn’t helping things progress. If anything he’s doing the opposite. And there’s no way that Gov. Ricketts would listen to Trump is there?

Gov. Pete Ricketts said he remains focused on keeping Nebraskans safe and preventing the state’s health care system from being overrun because of the coronavirus rather than the politics of when to reopen the economy.

At an afternoon news briefing Tuesday, Ricketts said Nebraska will continue to work collaboratively with federal and local governments to determine when and how the state will lift restrictions meant to slow the spread of COVID-19.

“There are people out there who are trying to drive a wedge between the president, governors, public health officials,” he said. “Let’s not get caught up in that Washington, D.C.-type ‘gotcha’ politics.”

Ricketts’ statements come a day after President Donald Trump announced, both on Twitter and during a daily White House news briefing, that it was his sole decision when pandemic restrictions would be relaxed and the economy would be allowed to reopen.

So while we’ve talked about Nebraska’s agriculture industry, how are they being impacted by current events? Well, the governor unconventionally called for April to be declared “Beef Month” in support of local farmers, but the concept of a “beef” could have a very different meaning depending on where you come from.

Last week, Gov. Pete Ricketts declared May as “Beef Month” in Nebraska.

“When we think of beef, we often think of ranches, pastures, and rolling hills,” Ricketts said. “But it’s more than that. It’s a main economic driver in our state. It generates jobs throughout the entire supply chain.”

But the COVID-19 pandemic has caused “significant challenges” to Nebraska’s agricultural economy, especially for cattle, pork, and poultry producers. They have been affected by both price decreases and significant logistical challenges connected to the slowdown or closure of meat-processing facilities.

Nebraska Farm Bureau (NEFB) has determined that Nebraska revenue losses alone will total $823 million, or 10% of the state’s cattle receipts in 2018.

To address those problems, NEFB is urging Congress to support additional funding for agriculture in any pandemic response package that moves through Congress.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

We have a situation developing here… Michigan is staging a comeback after being down in the second half by 20 points. But Nebraska has had several free throw attempts and missed rebound opportunities, which means that Michigan is up by 5 with 30 seconds left. Nebraska has the ball… they shoot, ooh, a miss!!! Michigan wins!!! Epic comeback by the Wolverine State! Final score 81 – 76! Cut that net guys, you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the Final Four! All four conference winners have been set and are ready to tangle! Florida. Alabama. Michigan. Idaho. Two of these teams will advance to the championship, and then we will declare our winner on 5/27! We’re live in Phoenix at the home of the ASU Sun Devils, the Wells Fargo Center in Phoenix, Arizona for all the action! Getting exciting!

[font size="4"]And Now This:[/font]

Folks, I don’t need to tell you that this is not the celebration I had in mind for the 200th edition of the Top 10. Which means no live audience or featuring one of my favorite bands at the end. So instead I do have a send-off that I wanted to give for Top 10 #200 – the Rolling Stones have recorded one of their first brand new songs since 2005 called “Living In A Ghost Town”, so here it is in all its’ glory!

Thanks for sticking with us for 200 editions! Here’s to 200 more! Thanks to my staff and crew! We have just two more editions left this season. And we hope to return live on June 17th when the 9th season starts. See you next week!


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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 13, 2020, 05:00 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country's Rocking, Don't Come Knocking Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-16: If This Country’s Rocking, Don’t Come Knocking Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! How’s everyone doing out there? You going crazy stuck at home all the time? Wondering when this is going to end? Yeah me too, I am going fucking crazy being stuck at home all the time. And this is edition #199 too! Man, I hit #200 and I won’t get to celebrate it with the live audience and party that we deserve. Fuck. Stupid fucking coronavirus. But I do want to talk about something that I saw trending on social media the other day. So the kids who were babies in 2008 have now grown up and are discovering their parents’ taste in movies. And kids who are 17 now were 5 years old when the movie Tropic Thunder came out. And of course right now we’re stuck in this nightmare quarantine with absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to go. Naturally of course, those teenagers are watching movies like Tropic Thunder and Stepbrothers. Which means they’re now just discovering that Robert Downey Jr, had a role in which he used blackface. Of course if you do a Google search now, you will realize that even Downey himself argued that was a potential career killer even after he did the movie. And then you immediately discount the other brilliant performances from Jack Black and Ben Stiller. But I am loving this aspect of the pandemic. See kids? That’s how life used to operate before coronavirus came along! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first John Oliver is back and he delves into the latest surrounding everyone’s favorite subject:

Sigh, another week stuck at home. Quarantine can bite me. And social distancing blows too. I can’t wait to get back out and do the full and proper Top 10 we used to do. Anyway that said we actually have other things than the virus that we can talk about this week! For starters in the number one slot this week, is Gun Nut Terrorists (1). After Trump’s suggestion to “Liberate Michigan”, they took that way too literally. And Trump is egging them on! Taking the second slot this week is the economy (2) and while there’s tremendous pressure to reopen and get back to normal, I got news for ya, normal isn’t coming back for a while so we are going to ask - what could go wrong? At slot #3 is Elon Musk (3). Yes, the Tesla and Space X CEO is proving that like a virtual Superman, you can sink whole companies with a single tweet, but he’s the one laughing all the way to the bank. In the fourth slot, the Pentagon confirms something we’ve all been thinking – aliens exist (4)! Quick, someone call Tom DeLonge before it’s too late! aking the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5). And this week we’re going to tackle the question – “where did coronavirus come from?”. There’s many different origin theories but only one is true! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), our resident pastor is fully embracing his Jewish side because we really got to know what’s going on with New York’s Hasidic Jewish community. They seem to be defying orders and Gov. Cuomo isn’t having any of it. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7). And if you think the Land O’ Lakes decision to remove the native American from their 100 year old logo, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! In the 8th slot this week, after former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura announced plans to run on the Green Party ticket, we ask – “The Green Party: How Is This Still A Thing?”. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new edition of “I Need A Drink” (9) . This week, Universal proved that we might not need movie theaters in the future, and movie theater chains aren’t having any of it. So yeah pour a drink for the possible end of traditional cinema. Finally this week it’s time for more Stupidest State! This week, it’s Round 2 Week 3 and it’s a tale of possible secession as #1 Virginia takes on #3 Idaho! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The MAGA Reopen protests
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Look MAGAs, we get it, OK! We all want to get back to the plans that we had before this nightmare pandemic started too! Shit, I lost money on travel and concerts that I had planned. I lost money on sporting events. We all lost money, and everyone is pissed and wondering what our course of action is going to be until a vaccine is found. But in the meantime don’t go making it worse than it already is, because if you do, the virus wins, and we could be in this a long fucking time. And I’m not at all surprised that these protests that are popping up all over the country are lead by two groups: MAGAs and anti-vaxxers. And both groups can put up or shut up. But when you start brandishing your kill toys, don’t be surprised when the governor extends the stay-at-home order.

Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan issued a rebuke of the armed protesters who gathered inside the state capitol last week in defiance of statewide lockdown orders, saying the demonstrators embodied some of the “worst racism” of the nation’s history.

“Some of the outrageousness of what happened at our capitol depicted some of the worst racism and awful parts of our history in this country,” Whitmer said during a Sunday interview on CNN’s State of the Union.

Last week Donald Trump had said of the protesters: “These are very good people.”

Hundreds of protesters, many not wearing protective face masks and some armed legally with “long guns”, gathered inside the statehouse in Lansing on Thursday as lawmakers debated the Democratic governor’s request to extend her emergency powers to combat the coronavirus pandemic. The tightly packed crowd attempted to enter the floor of the legislative chamber and were held back by a line of state police and capitol staff, according to video footage posted by local journalists. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/may/03/michigan-gretchen-whitmer-lockdown-protest-racism

Yeah so here’s why we need real leadership. Brandishing giant guns, threatening the governor, and shouting racist slogans is UNACCPETABLE BEHAVIOR IN ANY SOCIETY!!! Do you get that MAGAs? You want to make it another 4 months of misery? Go right on ahead. Keep packing tightly into groups, like in Huntington Beach for instance. God damn motherfucking Huntington Beach.

Thousands of protesters have flocked to Huntington Beach to protest coronavirus lockdowns in the days following a mandatory closure of Orange County beaches. Angered by the forced closures, the protesters ignored social distancing guidelines and demanded the beaches be reopened.

Crowds took to the streets Friday — many without face masks — backing up traffic for at least a mile along Pacific Coast Highway, The Associated Press reports. "Freedom is essential," "Surfing is not a crime" and "Newsom is a kook" read some of their signs, which also called for the reopening of all businesses.

Last weekend, California made national news as an estimated 80,000 people gathered on Newport Beach and Huntington Beach during a heatwave. Orange County was the only county in the area where beaches remained open, as counties north and south had previously shut down public spaces.

"This virus doesn't take the weekends off," Governor Gavin Newsom said Monday. "This virus doesn't go home because it's a beautiful sunny day around our coasts."

On Thursday, Newsom announced the decision to close Orange County beaches. He again stressed that the "vast majority" of Californians have followed the stay-at-home order and social distancing guidelines, but said "specific issues" on some beaches "have raised alarm bells."

Yeah seriously stop being so fucking stupid! Do we need to remind you that there’s a killer virus out there that – as George Carlin put it – is capable of turning your vital organs into liquid shit? And that it kills at a 5% rate? Go ahead and get your surf on while the rest of us stay inside. Yeah it sucks that we can’t go enjoy a nice day on the beach right now, but it’s better than being buried in a box in a ditch on an abandoned island. I can guarantee that. So there’s Michigan and my state. What about Texas? Well…

A 25-year-old man in Texas was arrested and charged with attempted assault on a public servant after a video showed him pushing a park ranger into a lake while the ranger went over rules on social distancing.

Authorities say Ranger Cassidy Stillwell was talking to a group of people about not distancing themselves from each other at Commons Ford Ranch Metro Park in Austin when Brandon Hicks pushed him into the lake.

As Stillwell was falling into the lake, he pulled Hicks in with him.

Hicks fled the scene but was later arrested, officials say.

If convicted, Hicks would be sentenced up to two years in jail.

That’s a perfect example of one person making it worse for the rest of us. And if you want to see a whole bunch of stupid people in one tightly packed space, just look at what happened in Boston this week, this shit is getting real. People are rebelling against the SAH orders and well it’s going to be a fucking disaster when this thing comes back in the fall. Expect things to be that much worse. Beware.

Chants of "USA" rang out Monday at the steps of the Statehouse, where hundreds of people stood shoulder to shoulder protesting the state's stay-at-home advisory and closure of nonessential businesses, measures taken to slow the spread of the new coronavirus.

Many of the protesters weren't wearing masks, instead toting signs and garb supporting President Donald Trump. Large vehicles covered in Trump paraphernalia were at the scene. "Make America Free Again," read one woman's sign.

The Boston Globe reported the protest was organized in part by the people behind last fall's Straight Pride Parade.

"Beyond this COVID, it really is about power," said Mary Smith, who drove about 30 minutes to protest. "Our government really is holding on by a thread."

Some people shouted about tyranny, while others were upset about churches being closed while liquor stores remain open. One person held a "Fire Fauci" sign high above his head, a reference to Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert.

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[font size="8"]Reopening The Country – What Could Go Wrong?
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There’s one thing I will say about the MAGA crowd – they certainly know how to talk some trash. They also know how to leave giant piles of it for someone else to clean up (see: Top 10 #8-5 ). That said, they’ve been talking massive amounts of shit about reopening the economy after the Coronavirus came in like a wrecking ball and completely ravaged the US economy thanks to social distancing measures. And this that giant pile of trash that they’ve left behind. Since the economy has been opening very slowly, let’s examine the number of ways that this could go wrong. For starters – let’s take a look at Missouri. Would you want to take this risk? Jared Kushner says this country will be rocking by July. Well if this country’s rocking, don’t come knocking.

Missouri Governor Mike Parson has given the okay for concerts to begin again in the state as early as Monday.

On April 27, Governor Parson released his Show Me Strong recovery plan that details plans for gradually reopening the state's economy starting May 4. The plan allows for retail stores to serve customers in-store at limited capacities and for restaurants to re-establish dine-in services while remaining socially distanced.

A first for the country since governments started instating lockdown orders, Missouri will allow residents to attend live events, including concerts. According to the Show Me Strong guidelines, large events and gatherings are no longer banned, but in order to go to a concert, movie theater or stadium "seating shall be spaced out according to social distancing requirements."

A representative from Missouri's Department of Health and Senior Services clarified for Billboard that concerts do not have to adhere to the same occupancy limitations as retail businesses, but event organizers are expected to keep concertgoers six feet or more apart to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.

Dude, seriously, this is like being in a 12 step program and skipping steps 2 – 11 and then saying you’re cured of your alcoholism. Look I am an avid concert goer and I love live music as much the next guy and I’ve been devastated at the end of live music until there’s a vaccine. But I’m not taking that risk right now, and that’s just one of many many problems we face right now. Like look at Texas for instance.

The Domain mall in Austin, Texas, is open for business - unlike most of its 100 upscale shops - as the state entered its first work week of eased pandemic restrictions in the hopes of rekindling the economy.

A dozen or so people were strolling about the sprawling open-air shopping center Monday afternoon, with three seated on the patio of a Tex-Mex restaurant. Only one shopper wore a mask, and the loudest noises were from songbirds perched in the live oak trees along the deserted pedestrian thoroughfares.

“I’ve seen one customer today - they didn’t buy anything,” said Taylor Jund, who was keeping watch over an empty Chaser clothing store. “There’s absolutely no one coming around here.”

While protests across the United States demand state governments allow business to reopen and people to get back to work, the vast majority of Americans balk at relaxing stay-at-home orders too quickly, according to Reuters/Ipsos opinion polling.

Texas, Georgia and other southern states are leading the way in letting stay at home orders expire and gradually allowing people go about their business. But the early days of the opening in Texas show that many residents might want to stay home anyway.

Yeah so another thing – would you take that risk going to your favorite bar right now? I wouldn’t with Texas reporting 1,000 new cases a day. Shit, even my home state of California is not immune from stupid people in the process of reopening. Look, we’re all starved to get out and go do something after being dormant for 2 months, I get it! But this guy here is *NOT* doing us a solid.

A San Clemente restaurant reopened over the weekend, in defiance of California’s stay-at-home order.

Nomads Canteen, located at 102 Avenida Cabrillo, was crowded with at least two dozen people who could be seen socializing, eating and drinking in the outside patio area Sunday afternoon, two days after the restaurant reopened its doors to dine-in services.

Owner Jeff Gourley told KTLA he took social distancing measures into account by reducing indoor capacity by about 40%, after removing several tables and placing bar stools several feet apart.

But out on the patio deck, patrons did not appear to be adhering to the state’s social distancing guidelines and were not wearing masks, video showed.

Yeah that’s probably the best protection out there right now. Do I need to go get that Twitter thread from that doctor who said that this thing shreds your insides even after you’ve been taken off the ventilators? Don’t make me. Because that’s where we are heading. And there will be a second wave of this when our guard is let down. But don’t let these assholes get you down either. Just keep calm and don’t go outside for a while.

The availability of a vaccine for the novel coronavirus will likely play a key role in determining when Americans can return to life as usual. Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, on April 30 announced that a vaccine could even be available by January 2021.

Whether a vaccine can end this pandemic successfully, however, depends on more than its effectiveness at providing immunity against the virus, or how quickly it can be produced in mass quantities. Americans also must choose to receive the vaccine.

According to some estimates, 50% to 70% of Americans would need to develop immunity to COVID-19 – either naturally, or via a vaccine – in order to thwart the spread of the virus. If these estimates are correct, that could mean that nearly twice as many Americans would need to elect to receive a COVID-19 vaccine than those who currently opt to be vaccinated against seasonal influenza. Just 37% of American adults did so in 2017-2018, even in the midst of a historically severe flu season.

Making matters more complicated is the possibility that people who hold skeptical views about vaccine safety – sometimes referred to as "anti-vaxxers" – will not opt to receive the coronavirus vaccine. According to some estimates, about one-fifth to two-fifths of Americans express reservations about vaccine safety. If most of these individuals forego receiving a COVID-19 vaccine, they could potentially jeopardize the recovery process.

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[font size="8"]Elon Musk
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Elon, Elon, Elon. What are we going to do with you? If you haven’t been following the news surrounding the latest look into the batshit crazy mind of the Tesla CEO and new dad Elon Musk, well, it’s the stuff of complete insanity. While corporations around the world are feeling the hits from COVID-19 – everything from giant financial gurus like Berkshire – Hathaway to your local mom and pop bar, even Tesla is feeling the pinch. Auto makers in general are feeling the heat right now. But Tesla’s current woes aren’t exactly COVID-related. In fact the stocks are tanking because – someone as powerful as Elon can sink a multi-billion dollar company with the stroke of a tweet.

Tesla boss Elon Musk wiped $14bn (£11bn) off the carmaker's value after tweeting its share price was too high.

It also knocked $3bn off Mr Musk's own stake in Tesla as investors promptly bailed out of the company.

"Tesla stock price too high imo," he said in one of several tweets that included a vow to sell his possessions.

In other tweets, he said his girlfriend was mad at him, while another simply read: "Rage, rage against the dying of the light of consciousness."

In 2018, a tweet about Tesla's future on the New York stock market led to regulators fining the company $20m and Mr Musk agreeing to have all further posts on the platform pre-screened by lawyers.

On Friday, the Wall Street Journal reported it had asked the billionaire if he was joking about the share price tweet and whether it had been vetted, receiving the reply "No".

Holy shit! He can wipe out billions with a single tweet… he is Super Idiot!!! Dude here’s the thing, if your stock prices are that high, you should revel in it! Seriously, what are you smoking man? If that’s not enough, Elon not only stood by his recent claims, he doubled down on his insanity. There must be some bad covfefe circulating because now he’s going even crazier than usual.

Two of Elon Musk’s Los Angeles mansions appear to be up for sale on property website Zillow for $30 million and $9.5 million.

The listings, which say they’re “for sale by owner,” went live on Sunday just two days after the eccentric billionaire tweeted that he intended to sell almost all of his physical possessions and that he “will own no house.”

Moments before he made those remarks on Friday, Musk tweeted to his 33.6 million followers that Tesla stock was too high, leading to $14 billion being wiped off the company’s market cap. It’s unclear why he did this.

Musk’s two luxury properties are both in the the exclusive Los Angeles neighborhood of Bel Air. One is a five bedroom ranch and the other is a six bedroom estate.

A representative for Musk did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Sure, what’s $30 million in the worst pandemic not seen in a century and the worst economic crash since the Great Depression? I’ll take two of them! Really who is he kidding? And why is he selling his house you might ask? Maybe he knows that since the virus is ruling all of humanity right now that you can’t take it with you? Or does he have some other ulterior motive behind this insane move? Well, he might be joining Tom DeLonge in the quest for UFOs.

A city on Mars? SpaceX has been training this whole time, Elon Musk declared Sunday.

The SpaceX CEO took to Twitter to decry his company's slow rate of progress in sending humans to Mars to set up a city. The firm is currently working on the Starship, a fully-reusable rocket designed to transport humans to Mars and beyond, which Musk noted is step one of three toward reaching this goal.

Musk also explained how the company has been working on step two of three through its existing resupply missions. The second step is orbital refilling, which will enable the Starship to refuel in space and continue its mission to the red planet.

On Sunday, YouTuber Tim Dodd asked Musk about current progress on the firm's research in this area in collaboration with NASA. Musk responded:

SpaceX has a lot of experience berthing & now docking with [the International Space Station], which is very difficult. Orbital refilling should in theory be easier, since Starships dock with themselves & will be uncrewed at first.

Space X!!! Seriously Elon? We’re going to build a city on Mars? Why don’t we build a working city on earth first? And why don’t we cure coronavirus while we’re at it? Shit, it’s been 4 years and Flint still doesn’t have potable water! Let’s fix our problems on Earth first before we go ruin another planet, can we do that? Oh and it must be nice to be Elon, he can say literally anything and still make $700 million.

With Tesla’s stock closing at $761.19 yesterday, Tesla’s stock market value has now achieved a six-month average of $100.2 billion – making the first tranche of the compensation plan eligible to vest, according to an analysis of Refinitiv data via Reuters.

At a set price of $350.02 each per vested share, Musk would clear almost $700 million from the first tranche thanks to Tesla’s high share price.

Last Friday, Musk said that Tesla’s share price was “too high” in a series of tweets – wiping out billions of dollars worth of Tesla’s valuation.

At the time, we speculated that Musk was trying to prove his detractors wrong who have accused him of only pushing the “free America” narrative to get his stock options, which he ended up later confirming it was part of what drove him to call out Tesla’s share price.

The stock crashed almost 10% following his comment, Tesla investors didn’t care for long as the stock was back up to his pre-comment level the next day – triggering his stock option tranche anyway.

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[font size="8"]Aliens Exist
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Finally! We get some non virus news to talk about today. Yay!!! Good because I am fucking sick to death of this thing. Not quite that sick, sir! But first can we get some music to accompany this piece?

Yeah someone better call Tom DeLonge because the Pentagon has confirmed what we’ve all long been suspecting – aliens exist! Or do they? Maybe it’s a weather balloon or a black helicopter. You don’t know, man! That’s what they want you to think! OK enough of channeling my inner conspiracy theorist and UFO chaser. But now with everything turning upside down because of what’s out there, that’s not aliens, the Pentagon decide to simply say “fuck it” and confirm what we’ve all been suspecting. Which is that aliens do in fact exist. At least partially. The truth is out there! Oh wait, I’m supposed to say that at the end aren’t I?

The Pentagon has declassified three previously leaked top secret U.S. Navy videos that show "unexplained aerial phenomena" and that some believe could show Unidentified Flying Objects (UFOs) in an effort "to clear up any misconceptions by the public on whether or not the footage that has been circulating was real or whether or not there is more to the videos," said a Pentagon spokesperson.

"The aerial phenomena observed in the videos remain characterized as 'unidentified,'" the spokesperson added.

The videos, previously acknowledged by the Navy as being real, captured what Navy fighter pilots saw on their video sensors during training flights in 2004 and 2015. They were published by the New York Times in 2017.

"The Department of Defense has authorized the release of three unclassified Navy videos, one taken in November 2004 and the other two in January 2015, which have been circulating in the public domain after unauthorized releases in 2007 and 2017," said Susan Gough, a Defense Department spokesperson in a statement released Monday.

"After a thorough review, the department has determined that the authorized release of these unclassified videos does not reveal any sensitive capabilities or systems, and does not impinge on any subsequent investigations of military air space incursions by unidentified aerial phenomena," said Gough.

Of course it’s “unidentified”. It’s in the name “unidentified flying objects”! Remember last year when a group of idiots got the idea to storm the Pentagon to “see them aliens” (see: Top 10 #7-6 ? Well there might have been something to this. But I’m sure the last thing that the government wants is a bunch of idiots storming an otherwise classified military base. But this brings the question – have aliens ever visited earth? Well there’s plenty of theories out there.

Between 2002 and 2005, files released by the Ministry of Defence documented three sightings in Gwent - two in Newport, one in Croesyceiliog.

A further 4,400-page document relating to sightings reported between 2007 and November 2009 in Gwent was also released by the MoD, which revealed sightings had been reported in Newport, another in Argoed.

Further later documented sightings refer to two objects seen over Blaenavon in March 2009, and in December 2018, strange lights were spotted in the sky over Tranch, Pontypool.

One of the most memorable encounters in recent years includes the spherical floating object filmed by a South Wales police helicopter whilst officers were flying 1,000ft over the Bristol Channel in 2016.


All manner of explanations have been offered for the strange sightings, from weather balloons and sky lanterns, to mistaking the bright planet Venus as a UFO.

However, while many sightings can be explained away, others cannot and remain a mystery. Bt linking them to extra-terrestrial activity is another question.

So aliens could have visited us, or they could not have but one thing is for absolute certain – it’s not a UFO that visited us. Or did it? Even if we assume that UFOs are real, it’s not going to be like Independence Day or Alien. Or Star Trek. Or any number of movies where humans interact with aliens like it’s no big deal. Is there a science to all of this? Probably. Do I know where I am going with this line of questioning? Hell no.

UFOs are very real, as we have recently seen — but that doesn't mean E.T. has been violating our airspace.

"UFO" refers to any flying object an observer cannot readily identify. And pilots with the U.S. Navy saw fast-moving UFOs repeatedly off the East Coast throughout 2014 and 2015, in one case apparently nearly colliding with one of the mysterious objects, The New York Times reported earlier this week.

Those incidents were reported to the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP), whose existence the Times and Politico revealed in December 2017. (Interestingly, those 2017 stories cited Pentagon officials as saying that AATIP had been shut down in 2012.)

Former AATIP head Luis Elizondo, by the way, is involved with a new six-part series called "Unidentified: Inside America's UFO Investigation," which premieres tonight (May 31) on The History Channel.

The Navy pilots said some UFOs reached hypersonic speeds without any detectable exhaust plumes, suggesting the possible involvement of super-advanced propulsion technology. Still, Defense Department officials aren't invoking intelligent aliens as an explanation, according to this week's Times story — and they're right to be measured in this respect, scientists say.

You’d better believe it, man! The boredom is excruciating! But of course when one things of aliens, one can’t help but think of what everyone’s favorite alien hunter Tom DeLonge thinks. Of course you know him as the voice and mastermind of Blink 182, who famously left the band he founded to explore the possibility that life might be out beyond the stars. The truth… is out there!

Last year, the research group announced a new partnership with the U.S. Army to collaborate on future UFO research which led to the release of videos of “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

They released three videos in December 2017 and March 2018 which the U.S. Navy confirmed to The Black Vault in September 2019 that they considered the “phenomena contained/depicted in those videos as unidentified.”

DeLonge later said in a Rolling Stone interview that he was surprised the Navy took his videos seriously and identified the objects as “unidentified aerial phenomena.”

In a report released by CNN earlier in the week, the Pentagon officially re-released the videos previously unveiled by DeLonge’s research group. You can see them for yourself below.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Origins Of Coronavirus
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Coronavirus has been dominating the headlines. But with the virus, come many questions and one of the biggest is – where did it come from? There’s many differing theories on the origins of the virus – some say it originated in a lab. Others say that it originated in bats. Then there’s some conspiracy theories who say that the virus was man made and that it was a hoax. And then there’s the origin theory that the President is parroting that says that the virus originated in a lab as a biological weapon. One thing is for absolute certain – we know it’s not that. But where did the virus come from? Let’s take a look at the differing theories out there.

You could be forgiven for wondering how a disease as fast-moving and deadly as COVID-19 could just appear naturally, out of nowhere, seemingly overnight. President Trump expressed doubt, saying that “a lot of people” were looking at the possibility that a Chinese lab was responsible for the COVID-19 pandemic. Earlier that week, Fox News ran a story in which unnamed sources suggested that the COVID-19 outbreak originated in a Wuhan laboratory — the Wuhan Institute of Virology, which studies coronaviruses with a number of international collaborators. The New York Times reported that spy agencies are being pressured to find evidence blaming the lab, and at the end of April, the National Institutes of Health withdrew funding from a research consortium that had collaborated with the lab. As recently as this weekend, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, despite saying there was no reason to disbelieve the intelligence community’s assessment that the virus was neither manmade nor genetically modified, claimed there was “enormous evidence” connecting the virus to the WIV.

But the truth is almost certainly not that salacious. Robert Garry, a professor of microbiology and immunology at the Tulane University School of Medicine, said this dynamic is familiar. “Every time there’s an outbreak, people say, oh, there’s a lab close by.” He should know: In 2014, during the Ebola epidemic in West Africa, conspiracy theorists alleged his team’s lab in Sierra Leone, not far from the origin of the outbreak, was a George Soros-funded bioweapons site.

According to a growing body of research, SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19) is almost certainly a naturally occurring virus that initially circulated in bats then spilled into humans. But that hasn’t stopped some from trying to find a more sinister origin. “It seems like such an extreme event that people are looking for an extraordinary explanation for it,” said Stephen Goldstein, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Utah who studies coronaviruses. No single piece of evidence has yet confirmed the virus’ origin. But according to scientists, the evidence that does exist paints a consistent picture of a wild virus, not one that sprang from a lab.

That is most definitely how the virus did not originate. But while multiple theories out there have disputes about where coronavirus came from, it did not come from where we think it did, but it has all the possibilities of starting the next World War. So far all the blame is being placed on China where they did not lock down when they first found out about it, and just made it that much worse.

The European Union has called for a worldwide investigation into the origins and spread of Covid-19 in a move its foreign policy chief described as “standing aside from the battlefield between China and the US”.

The EU said the bloc and its 27 member states would co-sponsor a draft resolution calling for an “independent review” into the novel coronavirus that causes the disease when the World Health Assembly convenes for a virtual meeting on May 18.

The meeting of the World Health Organisation’s decision-making body is shaping up as a test of China’s diplomatic standing in the wake of the pandemic.

In addition to calls for an independent investigation, nations such as the US are also pushing to reinstate Taiwan – which Beijing views as a renegade province – as an observer to the assembly.

China has so far not committed to an international probe, saying it would be a “blame game” that targets Beijing, even though China has repeatedly pledged support for the WHO.

We can’t all be like Mr. Burns though. And of course China is to blame for not alerting the world to the severity of the disease that was coming our way, but who knew what would happen? But another thing is for certain – there’s nothing to trust about what Trump’s Secretary Of State, Mike Pompeo has to say about this. In fact there’s really no evidence of this fact, just a bunch of baseless theories that they pulled out of their ass.

U.S. Secretary of State Michael Pompeo said “enormous evidence” shows the novel coronavirus outbreak began in a laboratory in Wuhan, China, and that Beijing has refused to give international scientists access to learn what happened.

“I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan,” Pompeo said on ABC’s “This Week,” broadcast Sunday. “These are not the first times that we’ve had a world exposed to viruses as a result of failures in a Chinese lab.”

Pompeo stopped short of saying the virus was human-made, noting that he agreed with a report by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence that ruled out genetic modification or it having been human-made.

The virus’s origin has become a flash point in the pandemic and ratcheted up tensions between the U.S. and China. President Donald Trump has escalated efforts to attach blame to China as U.S. pandemic deaths pass 66,000.

That’s definitely not how the Coronavirus originated. However, it’s a good thing that there are other countries in the world that have their own intelligence agencies besides the US and China. Because while the US wants retaliation against China and Chinese hostility is at an all time high not seen since 1989, along comes Australia to shoot down Trump’s claims that the virus was made in a lab. And we all could have seen this one coming.

Despite Trump's comment Thursday that he has seen information that gives him high confidence that the outbreak was the result of an accidental release from a Wuhan laboratory, U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News that they have made no such assessment. There is no "smoking gun" evidence pointing them in that direction, they say, and there may never be.

Intelligence officials stand by the public statement put out Thursday by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, which said that the intelligence community has concluded that the virus was not man-made but that it had reached no conclusion about whether it emerged accidentally from a lab or was transmitted to humans through animals.

NBC News reported last week that the White House has tasked the intelligence community with investigating that and other questions about the origin of the virus, the extent to which China covered it up and whether the World Health Organization was complicit in the cover-up. Some critics have raised the concern that the White House is pushing the intelligence agencies to validate a conclusion that helps it politically, by distracting attention from the question of whether it acted soon enough. China and the WHO deny that they were less than forthcoming, and China says the virus couldn't have come from one of its labs.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said Sunday on ABC that "there is enormous evidence ... I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan." But he declined to detail the evidence, as did Trump when he was asked about it.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day!

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

Shabbat shalom, my fair congregation! You know on this program we talk a lot about the Christian right and make fun of their antics on this program and rightfully so! But this week, we have to talk about what went down in New York City. Now do we necessarily agree with Gov. Cuomo’s actions here? No. We believe in the right to free expression, even in the worst pandemic not seen in over a century. And the very sad thing is that it’s my fellow zealots, who see the virus as an attack on their personal freedoms, that are going to keep this thing going. See, guys, there’s nobody attacking your rights, and the virus has put us all on the same page until there’s a way to deal with it. So in the meantime definitely don’t do something like this. Because that’s not what the good LAWRD would want!

The Anti-Defamation League and a New York City councilman are calling out Mayor Bill de Blasio after he condemned a large funeral gathering, saying he targeted the entire Jewish community when only one group of people broke the rules.

De Blasio said the gathering for a rabbi's funeral Tuesday in Williamsburg, New York, was "absolutely unacceptable" and noted it won't be tolerated.

"Something absolutely unacceptable happened in Williamsburg tonite: a large funeral gathering in the middle of this pandemic," de Blasio tweeted. "When I heard, I went there myself to ensure the crowd was dispersed. And what I saw WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed," de Blasio said in another tweet. "I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period."

But let’s not drink to this just yet. Here’s the thing, Rabbis, and no matter what your religious beliefs happen to be – this virus doesn’t care what your religion is. It doesn’t care what your status is or your economic level. Instead it targets all of us. And until there’s a cure, we’re all in the same boat. You know last week, we talked about how Christians think it is their GAWD given right to gather in large groups against what the CDC says. Well, here’s where we are in disagreement.

A spokeswoman for Mayor Bill de Blasio (D) said the mayor himself was on the scene with Police Commissioner Dermot Shea breaking up the crowd of mourners.

De Blasio spokeswoman Freddi Goldstein retweeted photos of Mertz's funeral on Tuesday night, writing, “I empathisize [sic] with the desire to mourn those we’ve lost, but this is absolutely unacceptable.”

The mayor tweeted that such gatherings "WILL NOT be tolerated so long as we are fighting the Coronavirus."

"My message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed. I have instructed the NYPD to proceed immediately to summons or even arrest those who gather in large groups. This is about stopping this disease and saving lives. Period," he wrote.

"We have lost so many these last two months + I understand the instinct to gather to mourn. But large gatherings will only lead to more deaths + more families in mourning. We will not allow this. I have instructed the NYPD to have one standard for this whole city: zero tolerance," he added.

Yes, to life! Because we still want to be able to maintain ours! I’m sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS, er, ABRAHAM would want! And look the long we continue to go out in groups, the worse this thing gets. I want to get back to my congregation and I’m sure you all would too! But no one is singling out anybody. We’re all on the same page here. New York is the worst city in America for this thing and it’s pretty understandable why DeBlasio would want to break up any large gathering!

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is being accused of unfairly singling out the Hasidic Jewish community, in enforcing COVID-19 restrictions.

He personally called on police to disperse hundreds of mourners, who gathered for a rabbi's funeral, defying social distancing rules.

He was furious the gathering took place at all, and mentioned the Jewish community by name in a tweet, saying the time for warnings has passed and arrests would be made of those who gather in large groups.

Some called on the mayor to apologize, resign, or called him anti-Jewish. Saying it was unfair for him to single out all Jews when it was just some from the Hasidic Orthodox community who gathered for the funeral. But the issue divided New York: Others expressed support for the mayor, and defended him calling out the funeral gathering.

On Wednesday, the mayor said he was not trying to single out the Jewish community, but did not back down from his criticism.

See? Even Walter agrees with me! You all should too. If Saturday is supposed to be the day of rest for my Hebrew brothers and sisters, then you should absolutely abide by it! Because what’s a religion without a day of rest? But no one is getting any rest in the day and age of the Great Pandemic, for this virus is the unholy DEVIL himself! But you just got to suck it up and roll with it. We all need you to!

It started with a funeral that got out of hand. It ended Wednesday with some of New York City’s Jews at odds with the mayor over his criticisms of the Orthodox community as it struggles to deal with the coronavirus.

The funeral was for Rabbi Chaim Mertz, a revered Hasidic Orthodox leader whose death was reportedly linked to the coronavirus. The congregation that was hosting the gathering said Wednesday a funeral appropriate to the times was planned, with mourners wearing masks and saying their farewells from a distance.

Instead, thousands gathered Tuesday night at the Kahal Tolath Yakov synagogue in Brooklyn’s Williamsburg area. De Blasio personally joined in the dispersal of the crowd, and then tweeted that “my message to the Jewish community, and all communities, is this simple: the time for warnings has passed.”

He told reporters Wednesday that he was sorry “if in my passion and in my emotion” he had caused offense, but described “no regrets” about calling out the Hasidic funeral.

So next time guys, just remember that next time, we’re all in the same boat no matter what religion you belong to. We should have a common goal of eliminating the enemy, and that enemy is a virus! Temple has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Land O Lakes Label Controversy
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Hey woke millennials, if you think that the Land O Lakes company removing the Native American woman from their label is racist, wait until you see what we actually did to Native Americans! So in non virus news we are arguing over this in 2020. It’s really the latest incarnation of the Simpsons debate surrounding Apu. The question remains – is it racism? Or is it just a gross stereotype? Or is it a combination of both? And really in this day and age, is arguing over packaging what we should be contemplating right now? I personally think I’d be more concerned about something like a butter shortage.

America’s best-selling butter trended on Twitter Sunday -- but not because of a shortage.

Land O’Lakes, the brand that’s dominated shelves since 1921, announced in February it has started removing the iconic Native American woman “Mia” from its products and adding the phrase “Farmer-Owned.”

The Minnesota-based dairy company drew praise from the state’s lieutenant governor earlier this month, echoing the American Psychological Association’s finding that such mascots appear to have “a negative impact on the self-esteem of American Indian children.”

News of the removal gained traction on the social media Sunday after CNN anchor Jake Tapper tweeted an April 17 story from his network. It also drew criticism, with some responses defending the icon as a “beautiful image,” and suggesting that Quaker Oats Co.’s “Aunt Jemima” could be next to be targeted.

Robert DesJarlait, the son of the artist who remade Mia in the mid-1950s, said while the image had turned into a stereotype for some, others saw it as a source of pride.

But is it really? Or is it just Apu 2.0? Yeah sure Native Americans have been through some of the worst that humanity has to offer, and they currently do not have the representation they deserve. Most of it is done through old fashioned stereotypes. However, on the list of things to worry about, the label on the Land O Lakes box currently ranks about a 1 out of 100. Even the descendant of the people who drew the label are like “WTF”.

She was never a stereotype.

That was my thought earlier this month when I heard that “Mia,” as the Land O’Lakes Native American maiden was known, had been taken off the butter box. She was gone, vanished, missing. I knew Mia had devolved into a stereotype in many people’s minds. But it was the stereotype some saw that bothered me.

North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), for instance, told the Pioneer Press in St. Paul, Minn., that the Land O’Lakes image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.” Others similarly welcomed the company’s removal of the “butter maiden” as long overdue.

How did Mia go from being a demure Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?

Yeah probably. So what’s the meltdown really about? Is it being racist or is it showing pride for your heritage? There’s plenty of solid arguments for both the former and the latter. Here’s the thing – this logo has been around for 100 years. That’s an entire century. And why all of a sudden? Well people and things do change with the times.

Just ahead of its 100th anniversary, Land O’Lakes has retired Mia, the indigenous woman who once featured prominently in its iconic logo, from all packaging. Many of the dairy company’s popular butters, creams, cheeses and other products will now display a serene portrait of a tree-fringed lake under the Land O’Lakes name, which will appear adorned with the phrase “farmer-owned.” The company expects to complete the phaseout by the end of 2020.

In a company statement released earlier this year, Land O’Lakes president and CEO Beth Ford described the move as realigning company packaging to reflect “the foundation and heart of our company culture—and nothing does that better than our farmer-owners whose milk is used to produce Land O’Lakes’ dairy products.”

Company representatives have shared similar declarations since February, when the new logo was first unveiled, in an apparent effort to draw publicity to Land O’Lakes’ new farming-focused branding. But as Kayla Ruble reports for NBC News’ Today, Mia’s disappearance has continued to command most of the attention around the switch.

Arriving on the heels of universities, sports teams and other businesses making comparable moves to drop indigenous images, symbols and titles from their logos, the Land O’Lakes change has been noted by some as necessary and perhaps long overdue.

Again I say - yeah probably. But that raises yet another question – why? Land O’ Lakes isn’t the only company who’s dropped a logo with a Native American character or foreign characters. There’s the Washington Redskins, who have had endless debates about their name. There’s the Cleveland Indians, also the subject of endless debate. There’s also the famous debate surrounding Apu from the Simpsons, but where does this end? Only one way to find out.

DesJarlait cited comments from North Dakota state Rep. Ruth Buffalo (D), who told the Pioneer Press that the image of Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.”

“Yes, it’s a good thing for the company to remove the image. … But we can’t stop there,” Buffalo — a registered member of the Mandan, Hidatsa and Arikara Nation — continued. “We as a whole need to keep pushing forward to address the underlying issues that directly impact an entire population that survived genocide.”

DesJarlait added that others had also welcomed removing Mia, the “butter maiden,” from the company’s packaging.

But, he wondered, “How did Mia go from being a demur Native American woman on a lakeshore to a sex object tied to the trafficking of native women?”

According to the Pioneer Press, Land O’Lakes President and CEO Beth Ford said the purpose of the label change was to acknowledge the Minnesota-based company’s farmer-owners “whose milk is used to produce Land O’ Lakes products as it prepared to turn 100 years old.”

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[font size="8"]Third Party Candidates: How Is This Still A Thing
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Third Party Candidates: How Are They Still A Thing? There’s no mistake that Donald J. Trump is the most polarizing president in United States history. The people who love him, really, really love him. And the people who hate him, really, really hate him. But then again, there’s people who are searching for a third alternative to the leader of the free world. And watch for numerous attempts to unseat Trump in the fight for America in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. Which brings us to the Green Party. How is this still a thing? Well, the Green Party has certainly seen its’ share of detractors in previous elections, such as Ralph Nader and Jill Stein. The latest candidate to throw his hat in the ring is a guy who is very familiar with throwing hats into rings. Jesse Ventura, the former Minnesota governor and current conspiracy theorist is running to unseat Trump.

Just days after publicly musing about a presidential run, a former Minnesota governor has taken another step toward tossing his hat in the ring.

On Saturday, the Green Party of Minnesota announced its newest member: none other than Jesse Ventura.

The informal ceremony appears to have taken place in a pubic park in White Bear Lake.

It comes nearly a week after Ventura posted a tweet saying that if he were to run for president, "the GREEN party would be my first choice."

This weekend, Ventura retweeted a post that hinted at a coming White House run with the hashtag #Ventura2020.

Third parties in America are the ultimate third wheel. People know they exist, but nobody wants them or cares about them to seek them out. And those that do seek them out almost always get into trouble as a result. If Jesse Ventura isn’t your thing, you might want to consider the libertarian alternative – Michigan lawyer Justin Amash. Yes, he is running too, possibly to do some damage to Trump but we all know it will come back to bite Biden.

When I got on the phone with Rep. Justin Amash (I-MI) the day after he announced the launch of an exploratory committee for a potential run for the White House, my first question was, “Why are you doing this?”

The question didn’t come as a surprise to Amash, who entered Congress in 2010 as a strident Tea Party fiscal conservative only to leave the GOP last year before becoming the lone House conservative lawmaker to vote to impeach President Donald Trump. Now, five months later — and staring down an increasingly impossible reelection bid — he’s considering a third-party presidential run as a libertarian.

Amash, 40, told me he’s running because he believes he’s the best person for the job. “I think it’s important that we have someone who’s honest, who’s practical, who will have humility about the entire legislative process and the entire process for government and will allow us to get back to a place where we have a government that actually represents the people.”

Amash’s decision didn’t come as a total surprise — after all, he tweeted on April 15 that he was considering a presidential run. But the reactions to his announcement came fast and furious, particularly from Never Trump conservatives concerned he could pull votes away from Joe Biden and help incumbent Donald Trump win reelection.

Yes, in addition to having a third wheel, we might possibly have a fourth. But while the Green Party has no credibility in America – they are often seen as a joke, there might actually be some clout to the Justin Amash candidacy. Unlike some candidates, Amash knows people in Washington and has seen the government in action. But ever since George Wallace way back when, 3rd party candidates have always been a bit of a mixed bag.

The 2020 presidential election just got its first notable third-party challenger. Last Tuesday, Michigan Rep. Justin Amash, who left the Republican Party nine months ago and became an independent, announced he would run for president as a Libertarian. And while we won’t know whether Amash wins his new party’s nomination until later this month, here’s what we do know about third-party candidacies more broadly and what that could mean for President Trump and former Vice President Joe Biden in the general election.

First, it’s unlikely Amash wins much of the vote in November. Take what happened in 2016. Third-party candidates won 6 percent of the vote, which was the largest share of the vote since Ross Perot ran for a second time in 1996, but it was still just 6 percent. As you can see in the chart below, third-party candidates don’t tend to win that much support. Our system just isn’t set up for successful third-party presidential bids.

However, that doesn’t mean Amash (or other third-party contenders) won’t matter in November. In this era of close elections, small shifts in the margins can matter a great deal to the final result, and third-party contenders can play a part in that. Amash’s candidacy, in particular, could affect the margins in some key battleground states, including his home state of Michigan, which was pivotal to Trump’s victory four years ago. Consider what happened in 2016: In 11 states, Libertarian nominee Gary Johnson’s raw vote total exceeded the vote margin separating Trump and Hillary Clinton. Now, that doesn’t mean Johnson necessarily changed who won in each of those states, but he and other third-party contenders (like Jill Stein of the Green Party) may have helped shape the outcome, especially in the three states that proved decisive in the Electoral College: Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.

That is a good point Homer. But if we want to make sure that Biden wins in November and defeats Trump, there’s one obstacle that’s blocking everyone’s way: the coronavirus. Ever since the virus came and turned life upside down as we know it, it has put a dent in everyone’s plans, and third party candidates are not immune from the effects of this.

The pandemic may have robbed Donald Trump of a growing economy. It may have trapped Joe Biden in his basement. But it may yet do something even worse to the Libertarian and Green party nominees: Keep them off the ballot in many of this year’s key states.

In 2016, the Libertarian Party was on the general election ballot in all 50 states; this year, it has secured ballot access in just 35. Similarly, the Green Party—which in 2016 had its best election ever by making the ballot in 44 states, with a further three states granting the party’s candidate official write-in status—has qualified for the November ballot in only 22 states.

Several of the elusive ballot lines are in states that in 2016 were either narrowly won or flipped from red-to-blue. At present, neither the Libertarian Party nor the Green Party has qualified for the ballot in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, New Hampshire, Iowa or Minnesota. Additionally, the Green Party has not secured a place on the ballot in Arizona, Georgia or Nevada, and the Libertarian Party is missing from Maine.

To get on the ballot in the remaining states, they need to collect and submit petition signatures. And in a normal year, they would be on track to do just that. But because of the deadly coronavirus—and the social distancing and stay-at-home orders to minimize its spread—after March 6, “petitioning was over in the United States,” as Libertarian Party executive director Daniel Fishman told me.

So even just making it to the ballot might be an impossibility for a lot of candidates considering taking a dent out of Biden or Trump, thanks to a certain virus. That is enough to make you ask – Third Party Candidates In The US:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: The End Of Cinema?
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I don’t know about you guys but I could really use a drink!

Of course you guys know that when the news gets too dark, the only solution is to kick back with a glass of your favorite beverage and talk about anything that’s not politics. But this week, there’s a feud brewing and one of my favorite past times might be going away forever. So tell me virtual bartender, how might I celebrate the end of one of my favorite past times? With 2 buck chuck? No thanks, I will stick to my Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Folks, I don’t need to tell you that we are bored, tired, and pissed off because of our freedoms being restricted thanks to coronavirus. And now there’s feud brewing over one of my favorite past times – going to the movies. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Universal decided to bypass the middle man and release Trolls: World Tour straight to video, and well, it did some gangbusters business.

“Trolls World Tour” nabbed nearly $100 million in on-demand sales for NBCUniversal (CMCSA) during its first three weeks, and the surprise digital success story is now sparking a feud between U.S. movie theater chain AMC (AMC) and the prominent Hollywood studio.

Universal, which originally marketed the “Trolls” sequel as a box office film, made the decision to bypass its theatrical release due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Hollywood giant opted to offer the film as a premium video-on-demand (PVOD) rental at $20 a pop. For comparison, the original “Trolls” brought in $116 million in its first three weeks at the 2016 box office.

The move served as the first true test of whether or not a movie needed the theater in order to be successful. And NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell told "The Wall Street Journal" that the entertainment giant now plans to release future films directly on-demand, in addition to theaters.

“The results for ‘Trolls World Tour’ have exceeded our expectations and demonstrated the viability of PVOD,” Shell said. “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies on both formats.”

Remember movie theaters, boys and girls? Well they were these buildings where you would pay money and they would show you a movie on a really big screen with a really awesome sound system. And they often had things like bars and restaurants attached to them to enhance the experience. But now there’s possibility that they might go away. We hope not.

Godzilla vs. King Kong. Ali vs. Frazier. Bird vs. Magic. Belichick’s Patriots vs. everyone.

These legendary battles gained a new competitor as Universal Pictures and AMC Theaters went head-to-head over...Trolls World Tour?! Why in the world is the largest theater chain in the U.S. picking a fight with a global corporation over an animated musical film based on toys you had as a child? And what does it mean for the future of the theatrical movie-going experience? The answers to these questions are complicated, but essentially boil down to the tension around how we are used to seeing movies versus how we’ve grown accustomed to seeing them in the past decade. It’s a long-simmering cold war that finally exploded—quite publicly—this week.

The typical relationship between cinema chains and film distributors has worked as such: Film studios (like Universal) lease out a movie to a theater in exchange for a portion of its ticket sales. It’s a symbiotic relationship, as theaters need movies to show and studios need the massive distribution abilities of the screens to ensure its movies are seen by large portions of people. As part of this agreement, theater chains are typically granted an exclusive 90-day period—known as windowing—wherein they receive the exclusive rights to show a film. The two groups then split the money the movie makes during the course of its run. However, this model has been challenged in recent years by streaming services—most notably Netflix—as those platforms have proven a studio can release content to a hungry audience and have it seen by a large number of people immediately.

As the coronavirus has ravaged Hollywood, cinemas and studios alike are left in a compromising position. With theaters closed, there’s not a traditional option for studios to showcase their product. This tension is why we’ve seen a number of studios, looking to recoup however possible, embrace releasing movies on premium video-on-demand (PVOD) platforms like Apple, Amazon, and so forth. The initial wave of movies to hit PVOD—The Invisible Man, The Hunt, The Way Back, and Onward, among others — were all films already released to theaters prior to Rona shutting everything down. Crucially, these movies moving to PVOD after their release still provided an element of windowing, still adhering to the standard relationship between theaters and distributors.

So Trolls trolled movie theaters. Just like the name implies. But does that mean that movie theaters are going away permanently? Well they are at least for the duration of this nightmare pandemic that we are in. We want to go out, we want movies back the way they were. I quite frankly can’t wait for phase 4 of the MCU to start. But will we watch it on our flat screens or will we watch it in the traditional formats?

“Trolls World Tour” nabbed nearly $100 million in on-demand sales for NBCUniversal (CMCSA) during its first three weeks, and the surprise digital success story is now sparking a feud between U.S. movie theater chain AMC (AMC) and the prominent Hollywood studio.

Universal, which originally marketed the “Trolls” sequel as a box office film, made the decision to bypass its theatrical release due to the coronavirus pandemic. The Hollywood giant opted to offer the film as a premium video-on-demand (PVOD) rental at $20 a pop. For comparison, the original “Trolls” brought in $116 million in its first three weeks at the 2016 box office.

The move served as the first true test of whether or not a movie needed the theater in order to be successful. And NBCUniversal CEO Jeff Shell told "The Wall Street Journal" that the entertainment giant now plans to release future films directly on-demand, in addition to theaters.

“The results for ‘Trolls World Tour’ have exceeded our expectations and demonstrated the viability of PVOD,” Shell said. “As soon as theaters reopen, we expect to release movies on both formats.”

Well that’s reassuring. It’s good to know that there’s thin-skinned bullies in charge of every aspect of our lives. And when you employ a business of over 10,000 that is teetering on the edge of the cliff financially because you need physical people to show up at your complexes, you’re doing the best job you can to actually push it over the cliff. That’s what you need. That’s what is needed to save a business in these trying times.

Coronavirus cases are rising in about half of US states, and so naturally, some Republican governors are ready to declare victory. Georgia’s Brian Kemp is leading the charge, and this upcoming Monday the Peach State will reopen its gyms, bowling alleys, massage parlors, and movie theaters. But the fact that they can open doesn’t mean they will, and today AMC Theatres announced it won’t unshut any of its 6,300+ cinemas until Hollywood studios begin releasing new blockbuster movies.

Via The Hollywood Reporter, AMC released a statement detailing their plans for the next few months. After the usual caveats about “the health and safety of our guests,” the world’s largest movie theater chain suggested that simply lifting stay-at-home orders won’t be enough to put butts into seats. Instead, they need film titles “that get people truly excited.”

“To be able to open, we also need a line of sight into a regular schedule of new theatrical blockbusters that get people truly excited about returning to their favorite movie theaters. Those blockbusters are scheduled to return this summer, beginning with Warner Brothers’ Tenet and Disney’s Mulan, with many more major titles scheduled immediately thereafter.”

Christopher Nolan’s Tenet drops on July 17th, and Mulan rides into battle on July 24th.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3: Batshit Conference Championship
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Welcome back to Stupidest State 2020! Yes we’re all still reeling and feeling the pinch from the virus, but we are getting some sweet action as the Layover League finals are set! #2 Florida is still red hot as it looks to upend #1 Alabama and head to the championship this year! As we know, Alabama last year stunned Florida and went on to win the title. This year, Florida is out for revenge. But who will they be playing? This time we’re heading to the Flyover League as the Batshit Conference championship pits #1 Virginia against #3 Idaho! And what do these two states have in common? Well, they look to take away counties from their neighboring states because – crazy gun nuts don’t like being ruled by a democratic governor! We’re live in San Jose at the SAP Center, the home of the Sharks for more action action action!

[font size="4"]Batshit Conference Championship: Virginia Vs Idaho[/font]

[font size="4"]Virginia[/font]

Well last time Virginia hung on to defeat their neighboring rivals in Kentucky. And Virginia may be for lovers and they do have a democratic governor, but they are also home to some of the craziest gun nuts in the country and some good old fashioned white supremacy that dates back to the 1800s. But lately under the guise of Democratic governor Ralph Northram – a favorite punching bag of Trump and Fox News, gun nuts have been getting extremely restless. And thanks to help from a friend of Trump, Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr, they might get their wish!

Thousands of Virginia residents have shown up at meetings across the state to try to block Democrats from enacting new gun laws, with some gun rights supporters openly discussing violent resistance and civil war.

The backlash to gun control in Virginia is being fueled by conspiracy theories and misinformation, and some observers worry that the escalating rhetoric may spark violence.

When Democrats won control of Virginia’s state government for the first time in 26 years in November 2019, they pledged to pass a series of standard gun control laws, including universal background checks and bans on military-style “assault weapons” and high-capacity ammunition magazines. The agenda was no surprise: state Democrats had run for office on a platform of gun violence prevention, backed by funding from national gun control groups.

Whew, that may be a bit extreme, sir. But no matter what state these counties may choose to call home, one thing is for certain – these people are the same group of assholes no matter what state you choose to belong to! And no matter what state you join, it doesn’t increase your representation in Congress and it just makes you look stupid. So what would make this second amendment heaven?

A loosely connected band of Western Virginians is urging their home localities to consider undertaking an unusual measure to buffer themselves from potential laws and policies they argue will further marginalize the Commonwealth’s conservative regions.

They say the localities should revisit an idea that several of them passed on more than 150 years ago: Join West Virginia, a state that itself was formed after a collective of Virginia counties during the Civil War realized that they didn’t exactly share the same values as the rest of the Old Dominion.

The move, dubbed Vexit by its supporters, appears to have some early support from some West Virginia lawmakers, who last month introduced a resolution that would invite certain Virginia counties and cities to be admitted to the Mountain State.

Joseph McClung, a more than 50-year resident of Giles County, is a proponent of the idea. This past week, the 70-year-old Norfolk Southern retiree went before Giles and Tazewell counties’ boards of supervisors to make the plea.

Yeah remember the Civil War? It was that thing that your great grandparents fought and died for over 150 years ago? Yeah that thing. But at least there’s slightly cooler heads in Virginia as they are rejecting their offers to join West Virginia and they’re perfectly fine under democratic rule. So yeah suck it gun nuts, but you’re definitely on the losing end of this battle.

Like many of his neighbors in this small, rural community in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley, Eston Foster believes in the right to bear arms. He grew up with guns, both for recreation and protection, and is a staunch supporter of the Second Amendment.

He wasn’t very happy, then, when Democrats won control of the Virginia House and Senate in November for the first time in more than 20 years. Especially since they promised to pass gun control measures that included a ban on assault weapons.

While he hesitates to call himself a Republican, the 23-year-old admits to being conservative. He supported his home county declaring itself a Second Amendment “sanctuary” with more than 100 other towns, cities and counties in Virginia. And he’s angry his state Senate recently passed a “red flag” law that would allow authorities to temporarily take away firearms from someone deemed dangerous to themselves or others.

Mr. Foster also took issue with Gov. Ralph Northam declaring a state of emergency ahead of a pro-gun rally in Richmond last month that proceeded without violence.

[font size="4"]Idaho [/font]

The Gem State is known for potatoes. It’s also known for that mesmerizing and certainly hypnotic blue field that is the center of every Idaho State game. But just like Virginia, Idaho is also at the center of a gun-fueled battle for control of the state. But unlike Virginia, there’s a much bigger slice of the pie that’s at stake if the gun nuts get their way. Of course the virus has put a slow down on this but don’t think that it couldn’t happen.

Frustrated by liberal policies, some Oregon residents petitioned to leave the state – by moving the border with Idaho westward.

The movement secured initial approval from two counties and aims to get enough signatures to put the proposal on ballots in November, according to the group called Greater Idaho.

If the group succeeds, voters in southeast Oregon may see a question on whether their county should become part of Idaho by redrawing the border.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners, said in a news release. “We tried voting those legislators out, but rural Oregon is outnumbered and our voices are now ignored. This is our last resort.”

That is a good point sir! Although unlike Virginia we actually have a chance that Idaho could join Oregon counties because – wait for it – Idaho has a conservative Trumpster governor! Yes, the governor of Idaho is actively supporting the gun nuts! This is a massive bombshell in this whole thing because it could really change up things if Oregon were to lose half the state.

On Tuesday, Umatilla County—located in northeastern Oregon—joined Southern Oregon counties Josephine and Douglas to become the third rural Oregon county to pass a petition asking voters if they would like to move their county to Idaho, according to the group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho, a political nonprofit organization.

The petition will need to gather at least 1,477 valid signatures in order for it to appear as a measure on the November ballot for Umatilla County. If voters pass the measure, it would compel county commissioners to participate in future negotiations regarding Umatilla County’s admittance to Idaho, according to the East Oregonian.

However, the final decision to redraw state borders would have to be approved by both the Oregon and

“They’re looking at Idaho fondly because of our regulatory atmosphere, our values,” Little told Fox News. “What they’re interested [in] is they would like to have a little more autonomy, a little more control, a little more freedom and I can understand that.”

Yeah remember those idiots from the George Bush era? I certainly do! These morons are the same no matter where you go. They refuse to listen to anyone else’s opinions and are in it for themselves. It’s the “I’ve got mine, fuck you” crowd. But in fact the Idaho movement to get Oregon to join them actually might have more clout than the Virginia movement. But don’t usurp my state as part of it!

Some residents in Oregon are fed up with living under Democratic control of their state government and have launched a ballot initiative campaign to join Republican-led Idaho.

The movement, known as “Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho,” is hoping to expand the borders of the Gem State through the inclusion of more than a dozen bordering rural counties now in Oregon.

Mike McCarter, chief petitioner of the secession effort, has noted though that the movement is in its infancy and would take years to accomplish, even if successful. The process for counties to leave Oregon include passing a ballot initiative, getting approval from the state legislature — currently controlled by Democrats — and then also getting Idaho to pass legislation approving new counties into the state. McCarter said the movement ultimately is about signaling the unhappiness rural conservatives in Oregon have with the state legislature.

McCarter has gotten the “green light” in at least three Oregon counties — Josephine, Douglas and Umatilla — that would start the first step in the secession process, which would be collecting signatures to eventually end up on the November 2 ballot.

“Rural counties have become increasingly outraged by laws coming out of the Oregon Legislature that threaten our livelihoods, our industries, our wallet, our gun rights, and our values,” Mike McCarter, one of the chief petitioners of the movement, wrote on the website for the Greater Idaho movement.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Oh my god ladies and gentlemen we have an upset brewing! Right now Idaho has the lead after 15 unanswered points… they have the ball, it’s over!! Idaho wins by 5! Final score – 79 – 74! Idaho sinks Virginia – once favored, now they will go home! They are celebrating and they move on to the Final Four! Cut the net guys you earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s the final round of Week 2! It’s the last but certainly not last as the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship puts #1 Michigan against underdog #4 Nebraska! We are in Las Vegas at the home of the UNLV Running Rebels, the Thomas & Mack Center! Getting exciting, folks!

See you next week!


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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed May 6, 2020, 05:00 PM (3 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Think you’re going stir crazy from the coronavirus lockdown? Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones can probably top whatever disturbing thoughts you might be having.

He said on his far-right radio talk show Friday that he’s willing to go full cannibal.

If COVID-19 shutdowns continue, he said, he has “extrapolated this out” and may have to resort to drastic and disgusting methods of survival.

“I’ll admit it. I will eat my neighbors,” Jones said, predicting a dystopian future plagued by food shortages.

“I won’t have to for a few years ’cause I got food and stuff ― but I’m literally looking at my neighbors now and going, ’I’m ready to hang ’em up and gut ’em and skin ’em. My daughters aren’t starving to death. I will eat my neighbors. ... I will.”

And there you have it folks, Alex Jones officially admits that he would eat some ass. Perhaps maybe with some fava beans and a nice chilled Chianti. Well I mean come on, if you're going to to cannibal, you might as well go full Hannibal Lecter!

**Canned audience laughter and applause**

This week the Top 10 is yet another home show and jam packed! The MAGA protests get more insane, we find out what could go wrong if we reopen too soon, we play a game of what is Elon Musk smoking, aliens might possibly exist, we probe the Land O Lakes label controversy, and we ask how the Green Party is still a thing. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, after there are many debates on the origins of coronavirus, there's only one true theory and we will explore that in detail! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to take a break from making fun of the Christian right and embrace his Jewish side, because what is going on with them in NYC? It is quite the stuff of insanity. Plus we also have a new I Need A Drink - could movie theaters be a thing of the past or are we just really, really bored? We will find out the answer! And it's also time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! This week it's a tale of secession, guns and greed as the Batshit Conference finals pit heavily favored #1 Virginia against red hot #3 Idaho!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Mon May 4, 2020, 12:31 AM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-15: Just What Dr. Trump Ordered Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up everyone? We’re stuck inside another week while this virus lingers throughout the atmosphere. But we’re making the most of it. And we also thank you for sticking with us in this trying time. We do have plans to come back better than ever during the 9th season when we will be taking a look at Joe Biden’s road to the White House. Yeah how exciting is that? This could be our first real shot at taking down Trump. I cannot wait until that happens. Do we have time for the thing? First off today is national superhero day – who is your favorite superhero? I know my answer would easily be Iron Man, though I would take a page for the Incredible Hulk and Bruce Banner. Then you got to add Dr. Strange, Captain America, Thor, the whole Avengers lineup really. Of course with the new Black Widow movie being delayed for obvious reasons, we will have to wait to get some female superheroes. But I also can’t wait for Wonder Woman 1984 in August, that should hopefully breathe some life into the dismal and non-existent box office ratings. I do remember that we used to have these things called movie theaters where you would pay money to go watch a movie on a really large screen with a really awesome sound system and you would . I can’t wait to get those back. Argh, life under quarantine sucks balls. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Bill Maher is back and he outlines the grim conditions we treat our food supply with that gave us COVID:

Well another week, another home show for the time being. So where do we begin this week? In the number one slot this week is of course Donald J. Trump (1) and just when you thought he couldn’t possibly get any dumber, he recommends that people go out and inject bleach and inhale Lysol to cure the virus because, reasons. In the number 2 slot this week is Mitch McConnell (2) and he is essentially taking the culture war up a notch and telling blue states to go fuck themselves and declare bankruptcy, despite that blue states are working with red states. In the number 3 slot this week we’re going to do our due diligence on when the economy should reopen. There’s many sides to this debate and well, we have no clear answer because right now the virus is in charge. And unless it goes anywhere, we’re stuck at home for the foreseeable future. Taking the fourth slot this week, is Donald Trump Supporters (4) and in a time when it’s absolutely critical to listen to science and experts, they want to do the opposite and flat out fire Dr. Fauci. Yeah they’re insane. Taking the fifth slot this week, is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week we’re going to take a look at vaccines for the coronavirus and what you can expect as they get deployed. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is going to look at the brewing Holy War on Social Distancing. Really, religion is going to make this thing that much worse. At slot #7 – is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” and why are we over celebrities? This is a weird phenomenon trending on social media, but nobody knows where it originated from, and we will get to the bottom of it! Taking the 8th slot this week – we add Georgia’s governor Brian Kemp (8) to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and we have a lot of those lately! For the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new I Need A Drink, and this week we’re having some drinks and discussing how the hell someone swiped a rare Van Gogh painting while the whole country of France is in lockdown! Yes, that happened! Finally this week, we have Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2! This week it’s a Family Values faceoff as #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for a spot to play Florida in the Final Four! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Mark it down: 4/23/20. That is the day that the President Of The United States, in his trying and infinite wisdom, simply stopped giving a flying fuck. See, we at the Top 10 have been tracking Trump’s exploits since he first wormed his way down that golden escalator way back in 2015, which by today’s standards, literally seems like an eternity ago. Remember civilization? I miss those times. But last week, he crossed the line and just stopped caring about us. Remember that in November, kids. Want a president who will be at your side? Vote Biden. Want a president who will bring about the apocalypse and then not give a shit about you? Then vote Trump. Because here’s what you get with a Donald J. Trump presidency as opposed to a president who actually listens to experts.

Presented with incontrovertible evidence that Donald Trump is stupid and clueless and that the American people should not follow his advice, reporters and editors in America's top newsrooms averted their eyes.

Home delivery subscribers to the Washington Post, for instance, wouldn't have a clue that Trump on Thursday evening proposed injecting patients with disinfectants to see if they would kill the coronavirus in lungs, as they do on the kitchen counter. There was no mention of it in the print edition.

Yes, Trump actually asked, after hearing a presentation on how bleach and rubbing alcohol can kill the virus on surfaces: "Is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because, you see, it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting to check that."

Is there a stupider, more dangerous thing he could possibly say? Could he possibly give a clearer indication that he is manifestly unfit to lead the nation during a public health crisis? Small children know better than this.

Yes, poison control is higher than number one! But really we have a president who’s a fucking sitcom character. He is the kind of character who’s the annoying neighbor who is constantly looking for his next get rich quick scheme, and then when said scheme backfires on him, he desperately wants to get a “get out of jail free” card. And that’s what this is. But like all things that happen, actions have consequences.

Illinois Poison Control has seen an uptick in calls since President Donald Trump questioned if injecting disinfectant could cure coronavirus.

Dr. Nogzi Ezike, head of the Illinois Department of Public Health, warned people not to try to use cleaning products on or in their bodies to fight coronavirus. She also said Illinois Poison Control has gotten more callers after Trump’s Thursday comments.

“Injecting, ingesting, snorting household cleaners is dangerous. It is not advised and can be deadly,” Ezike said during a Saturday press conference. “In the past two days, there’s been a significant increase in calls to the Illinois Poison Center compared to the same time last year.”

The governor’s office did not immediately provide numbers showing how large an uptick there has been.

Yeah exactly Trump is Newman in this case! His scheme to peddle hydroxychloroquine is backfiring on him, now he’s suggesting that people simply drink bleach. And never mind that bleach packages have giant warning labels on them, and Rob Gronkowski did a commercial to remind people not to eat Tide Pods (see: Top 10 #4-2). But no, we have a president who is telling people to drink bleach.

A talk radio caller suggested vaping bleach as a possible treatment for coronavirus, and conservative host Jeff Kuhner assured him the recommendation wasn’t crazy.

The caller, who identified himself as Zack from Stoughton, called into Boston’s WRKO-AM on Friday morning to talk about President Donald Trump’s dangerous suggestion to use disinfectants or powerful light internally to treat COVID-19.

“I’ve been thinking about this thing,” Zack began. “I was a smoker for years, I smoked about three packs a day, and I never liked this new vape thing coming out with the nicotine in it, but I also have a bunch of friends with big cleaning companies.”

After hearing an ad on Kuhner’s program offering a disinfecting service during the pandemic, Zack said he started connecting the dots and wondered whether vape pens could deliver bleach and other disinfecting chemicals into infected lungs.


Seriously, we went from curing polio and exploring the moon to telling people that they shouldn't drink bleach. And after realizing tha Trump is our president and he's spouting this nonsense, it occurred to me, this is why we don't get nice things. That is a huge drop off in the ever ongoing sad state of humanity in 2020. At least this has been good for some cheap laughs, and god knows we need more of that in society to get us through this thing. Even Snoop Dogg is having some laughs at Trump’s expense, and at this point, I’d much rather have Snoop in charge!

Rapper Snoop Dogg shared a depiction of President Donald Trump drinking bleach on Instagram, following the president's suggestion that maybe disinfectant may be used to treat the virus, via injection.

During a press briefing on Thursday, Trump suggested that ultraviolet light or disinfectant maybe used to treat COVID-19. "And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning?" he said, according to BBC. "So it'd be interesting to check that."

Snoop was one of many people to show his skepticism for the disinfectant treatment. The image Snoop shared showed Trump pouring a giant bottle of Clorox right into his mouth. He said that he thought if Trump or his supporters tried it first, maybe then he'd give it a shot. "Aight u go first then ya voters and I'll be here waiting to c [sic] how y'all feel before I go under my kitchen sink for some bleach," he wrote in the caption.

Granted, Trump did qualify his statement by saying that he wasn't a doctor. "I'm not a doctor. But I'm, like, a person that has a good you-know-what," he said.

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[font size="8"]Restarting The Economy
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It’s no secret that the coronavirus has just annihilated our way of life. Business has grinded to a halt, as has all domestic and international travel. There’s no events of any kind being held. There’s no school, people can’t return to their jobs safely. Retail, construction, and restaurants are feeling the pain of the virus. People are getting restless and stir crazy not being able to leave their houses. So what do you do? How do you reopen the economy? Let’s use the model from the magazine of choice from my youth – Highlights For Children. Most particularly the comic strip Goofus and Gallant. There’s the Gallant way of reopening the economy – doing things the smart and safe way. And then there’s the Goofus way – doing things reactionary and stupidly. Considering the way things are going, we have way more Goofuses than Gallants in this country.

Today California governor Gavin Newsom and Department of Public Health leader Dr. Sonia Angell outlined a broad plan to reopen the state’s economy, including the limited reintroduction of in-room dining for restaurants and other openings for non-essential businesses like manufacturing, childcare facilities, retail, and even gyms and hair salons. Newsom continued to decline to give an official reopening date, but noted that “we believe we are weeks, not months away, from making meaningful modifications” to the state’s stay-at-home directive.

Newsom outlined four broad phases that California is working through during the current coronavirus pandemic, saying that the current lockdown represents phase one. “As we move into phase two, where businesses can begin to reopen,” Newsom said, “we need to make sure that guidance is abided by, and is organized in a very deliberate way.”

Phase two includes lower-risk spaces like restaurants and retail, which could be modified for more consistent curbside pickups and limited physical interactions. As for schools, Newsom said that the state is considering moving up the fall 2020 school year to “July or early August,” with restaurants and retail expected to reopen before that.

It remains crucial to “make the essential workforce environment as safe as possible” for both customers and employees before an official reopening rollout, said Dr. Angell, though she did note some “cautious optimism” with the current flattening of the curve statewide. Part of that safety included the continued practice of physical distancing, wearing face masks, and wage security for those employees who fall ill while still employed.

So that’s how Gallant does things – and we’ve even had two more states join our coalition. In fact multiple states are making pacts out there since nobody can rely on the guy who we call president to get any jobs done. While we’re waiting for the worst of this virus to subside, it will be interesting to see how things slowly get back to normal. But we won’t be jumping in the deep end just yet. It will be a gradual progression.

Colorado and Nevada on Monday became the latest states to join California, Oregon and Washington in the Western States Pact, a working group of Western state governors that will coordinate how to reopen from the stay-at-home orders each has issued to limit the spread of the novel coronavirus.

"There's no silver bullet that will solve this pandemic until there is a cure, so we must have a multifaceted and bold approach in order to slow the spread of the virus, to keep our people safe and help our economy rebound," Colorado Gov. Jared Polis, a Democrat, said in a statement on Monday.

Nevada Democratic Gov. Steve Sisolak echoed that message, saying he "believe(s) the sharing of critical information and best practices on how to mitigate the spread, protect the health and safety of our residents and reopen responsibly will be invaluable as we chart our paths forward."

The inclusion of Colorado and Nevada in the Western States Pact bolsters the collaborative approach to reopening embraced by Democratic governors across the country.

This is how Gallant does things. We all want things to get back to normal. We all want to get back to the plans we had before this nightmare pandemic happened. I get it, we all get it! Now let’s see how Goofus does things. If anything this is going to have more of a long term effect than if we just stayed put. Hey, the sooner we get rid of this awful POS virus the better. But don’t do what Goofus does.

Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams said during an interview Tuesday that Governor Brian Kemp's decision to reopen businesses was "dangerously incompetent and deeply callous."

Citing the right-to-work nature of employment throughout the state, Abrams said during the interview, conducted by former Secretary of Labor Robert Reich, that low-wage workers in particular would risk forfeiting their jobs if they passed up opportunities to resume work during the coronavirus outbreak.

"We're telling the most vulnerable people in our society, 'You can either work or you can lose your life,'" said Abrams, a Democrat. "We are putting them at risk, and we're putting their families at risk."

Last week, Georgia became the first state to begin lifting widespread restrictions imposed during the pandemic. Tattoo parlors, gyms, bowling alleys and salons were permitted to reopen last Friday, and movie theaters were allowed to reopen Monday. Although restaurants could also begin serving dine-in patrons this week, more than 120 around the state have said they don't plan to resume dine-in operations just yet.

See Georgia??? You could have had Stacy Abrams as your governor and she would keep your safety in mind, but no, you had to go and elect the jackass. Because by not listening to experts, here’s what you are going to get. Rather than completely flattening this curve, you’re going to keep it going for the next several months, possibly years. So yeah don’t be like Goofus.

As some Southeastern US states start to reopen, Georgia is projected to see its number of daily Covid-19 deaths nearly double by early August, according to a model shared by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and created by independent researcher Youyang Gu.

The epidemiological model, which provides projections for 40 countries and every US state, has been included among the seven models CDC highlights on its website for Covid-19 forecasting.

Gu said Tuesday that his model is based on an epidemiological methodology called SEIS, which stands for susceptible, exposed, infectious, susceptible modeling.

"We use a very classic epidemiologic model," Gu said, adding that his model is updated daily and he is concerned other models are under-projecting deaths.

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[font size="8"]The War On Experts
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Welcome to an America that’s under far right religious conservative control. Experts in their respective fields do not need application. We don’t need no stinking public health experts or doctors to guide us out of a pandemic. We need prayer warriors and the MyPillow guy. Never mind that places like New Zealand or Germany or South Korea – which are led by people who know things like science, are close to having this beast fully contained. But oh no, not here in the States. Here in the US, you can be a breeder of Labradoodles one day and then be the US pandemic expert the next. I believe this is the concept known as “failing upward”.

(CNN)A former Labradoodle breeder, an internet thug and a college senior walk into the White House.

This may sound like the set-up of a joke. During the pandemic, however, with the US death toll passing 50,000, these actual administration officials are a grim reminder that we shouldn't expect much from the Trump administration.

Any remaining hope of competency within the Trump administration may have been dashed on Thursday when President Donald Trump mused about using sunlight or injections of disinfectant as Covid-19 treatments (DO NOT DO THIS).

While Dr. Deborah Birx, the coronavirus response coordinator, did shoot down Trump's bizarre ideas during the news conference, other members of the Trump team have not inspired much confidence.
Brian Harrison, who serves as the chief of staff to Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, was tasked with handling the department's virus response in January.

Hey maybe the repo men will get jobs as Trump’s new commerce secretary! Gee is it any wonder why we’re fucked for the foreseeable future? If we had competent leadership, imagine what we could accomplish in our war on this horrible virus! So let’s explore this clusterfuck for a minute. In America – unqualified professionals can get qualified for extremely dangerous jobs, like sheriffs could be used car salesman, or drive thru laborers can be coroners. That’s how this happened.

The unfortunate thing about the Trump administration, beyond the nepotism, incompetence, mass corruption, idiot kids, white nationalism, wholesale assault on the concept of truth, and pure evil, is that oftentimes it’s beyond parody. For instance, we already knew the federal government’s response to the coronavirus crisis has been catastrophically bad, from the months of insisting the virus was fake news, to a criminal lack of early—and current!—testing, to listening to Dr. Jared Kushner’s advice on the matter, to pushing for a dangerously premature reopening of the country. But despite everything we know, it would just be too much to learn that, at one point, a dog breeder was running the administration’s coronavirus task force. And yet!

Reuters reports the nearly impossible-to-believe news that back in January, Health and Human Services secretary Alex Azar “tapped a trusted aide with minimal public health experience to lead the agency’s day-to-day response to COVID-19.” The aide was Brian Harrison, 37, and the move was somewhat surprising, given that prior to joining the administration in 2018 as Azar’s deputy chief of staff, he spent six years running a company called Dallas Labradoodles, which is not, in fact, some kind of code name for a firm doing cutting-edge medical research or developing vaccines or doing anything remotely related to humans. Instead, Dallas Labradoodles, which Harrison sold for $225,000 in April 2018, pretty much does exactly what you’d expect: sells Australian Labradoodles, which are a cross between poodles and Labrador retrievers. Which are actually quite cute dogs! They are supposedly “friendly, social, loyal, loving, smart, curious, and happy”! Which is nice for the people adopting them, though less helpful vis-à-vis the pandemic that has killed more than 47,000 Americans to date and infected over 850,000! Funny how that works!

Except that it’s really not that impossible. This is America, we are a land of fuck ups! And we’ve been that land of fuck ups since 1980, even more so going into 2020! Yeah sure, we had some bright spots here and there, but the fact remains that we really fucked up on this one. And by we, I mean the Trump administration, he has a history of hiring shitty experts. Shit, even Mitch McConnell thinks this is a bad idea!

Even Mitch McConnell seems to think it'd be wise for President Trump to scale back his time behind the White House podium. The Senate majority leader said Monday that it would "probably be a good idea" to focus coronavirus briefings on public health experts, rather than the president, whose fact-challenged scientific claims often steal the spotlight.

Fox News Radio's Guy Benson asked McConnell if it would be "wise" for the White House's coronavirus briefings to be shortened, or to not have the president show up every day.

"Well, certainly what the American people are most interested in is the advice from health professionals about how to conduct their daily lives safely," McConnell, a Kentucky Republican, told Fox News Radio. "To the extent that the White House decides to re-craft those briefings to reflect that goal — would probably be a good idea."

Trump, you’re a leader! It is your job to lead! You’re here for us, we are not here for you! And leaders are supposed to lead by listening to people that know shit! They don’t listen to a guy who hawks ridiculously cheap pillows on late night infomercials! So why is any medical or public health professional putting up with his bullshit?

Does President Donald Trump not know that people will believe him when he speaks from the White House podium? Does he not care?

He has made clear, again, that he either doesn't understand the concept of science or doesn't care about it. Both options are bad.

He's the President. That's not changing for at least nine months, and maybe not for another four years. But now he's making up medicine (see below).

Even if you can believe his attempt to say his bad medicine was actually sarcasm (but, really, you shouldn't), let's all agree the time for sarcasm ended sometime around the time the pandemic happened.

Should all the capable doctors around him resign? He has, at times, listened to them. He criticized the reopening of Georgia earlier this week after a talking-to by Dr. Deborah Birx.

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[font size="8"]Firing Fauci
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We’re battling two pandemics right now. The first pandemic of course is the dreaded COVID-19 disease that is currently plaguing the landscape. The second pandemic is rampant insanity with an added dose of stupidity! We really are living in Idiocracy right now, and that movie isn’t supposed to be a documentary, either. Do you really try to fire and point fingers at the one guy who’s trying to help save your life? Well, in this upside down Trump world that we are living in, the answer to that question is most easily yes. Because in the minds of the Trumpers, everything is upside down and inside out. Bad is good, night is day, and so on. In fact here’s how this is shaping up right now.

Dr. Francis Collins, director of the National Institutes of Health, said in an interview published Tuesday he was not pressured to fire Dr. Anthony Fauci after President Donald Trump retweeted a message earlier this month calling for the ouster of America’s top infectious disease expert.

Asked by the health news website Stat whether he was concerned he would have to make an “impossible decision” in the aftermath of the president’s social media post, Collins maintained he was never worried he would be forced to remove Fauci as director of NIH’s National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases — a position Fauci has held for more than three decades.

“I didn’t actually think that was likely to happen, so no, I don’t think I was worried. And certainly nobody reached out to me at that point,” Collins said, adding that he and Fauci speak by phone every evening. “I don’t think we ever talked about that tweet.”

In recent months, Fauci has become one of the most widely recognized and respected faces of the federal government’s management of the novel coronavirus. His even-keeled, data-focused response to the pandemic has even fostered an ardent fan base, with calls for the 79-year-old immunologist to be named People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” or awarded a Nobel Prize.

No, no one is getting fired just yet. But really this is getting to be quite ridiculous. And as we’ve repeatedly said on this program is that Trump is a guy whose bad side you do not want to get on, by any stretch of the imagination. His ass likes getting kissed, like any good mobster, and he will let you know it or not know it.

Asked Monday while appearing on ABC's Good Morning America about protests popping up around the country against local stay-at-home measures, Dr. Anthony Fauci warned such demonstrations may "backfire."

“I think the message is that, clearly, this is something that is hurting from the standpoint of economics, from the standpoint of things that have nothing to do with the virus,” Fauci replied. “But, unless we get the virus under control, the real recovery, economically, is not gonna happen.”

He continued, “If you jump the gun and go into a situation where you have a big spike, you’re gonna set yourself back. So as painful as it is to go by the careful guidelines of gradually phasing into a reopening, it’s going to backfire. That’s the problem.”

Multiple rallies organized through social media have been cropping up last week, and more are planned for this week, deploying thousands of protesters. They all had a common message to governors: relax the strict stay-at-home orders deployed to combat COVID-19.

Don’t you know that it’s a bad idea to listen to social media protestors? They’ve given us nothing but bad things like the anti-vaccination movement and the Flat Earth Society. These are people who you should not listen to! And don’t listen to their attempts to fire Dr. Fauci – there’s no reason for that under any circumstances. Don’t fire the one guy who’s trying to help! But does Trump even really have the power to do this?

Congress can prevent this: It ought to pass a law stipulating that directors of the centers and research institutes that are part of the National Institutes of Health—officials like Fauci—should be removable only for malfeasance, neglect of office, or incapacity, but not for mere policy differences or politically inconvenient messaging. Similar protections exist for the heads of numerous independent agencies, such as the Federal Trade Commission and Social Security Administration. These protections prevent presidential politics from excessively influencing an administrator’s performance.

As it happens, the Supreme Court is supposed to decide a case this term that could make it more difficult for Congress to limit when the president may discharge executive-branch officials to cases of “good cause.” At least since the Reagan administration, opponents of independent agencies have insisted that such restrictions impinge on the executive power vested in the president by Article II of the Constitution. The current dispute focuses on the director of the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau.

Advocates of what’s known as “unitary-executive theory” insist that presidents have constitutionally guaranteed authority to fire all executive officers at will and to command them in how they make policy. Heretofore, the Supreme Court has consistently rejected that argument. The majority of our executive-indulgent Court, however, now likely subscribes to that theory, no matter how grounded in myth it may be. The question is to what degree that majority will consider itself bound by precedent not to destabilize the long list of agencies, including the Federal Reserve System, whose directors are insulated from at-will dismissal.

Yeah but do you really have the hiring and firing power? No? Well Trump doesn’t either. And if you were to do a ven diagram of people who are anti-vaxxers and people who are Trump supporters, well, you’d get a pretty good cross section. As I said, don’t listen to the people who are claiming to Fire Fauci. And quite frankly, don’t listen to Dr. Trump either. This is just what Dr. Trump ordered.

Several dozen people, including anti-vaccine advocates, gathered outside the Capitol building on Saturday in Austin, Texas to protest their state's lockdown policy as the coronavirus continues its spread across the country.

Austin's "You Can't Close America" protest, which featured many signs supportive of President Donald Trump, attracted so-called anti-vaxxers, who propagate disproven conspiracy theories about the alleged dangers of vaccines.

One such protester, who attended the rally with her 7-year-old daughter, told The New York Times she's "not worried about catching the virus" and added that if she or her family did, "I feel that we're healthy enough to fight it."

She held a sign reading, "Make Texas great again! Please open everything!" and her daughter held one reading, "Bill Gates can keep his poison — I'm homeschooled! No mandatory vaccines!!"

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: The Vaccine
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

It’s been 2 months since the coronavirus exploded into a global pandemic. Now the question that’s on everyone’s minds is what is it going to take to cure this thing so we can all get back to our lives the way they were before the pandemic? It’s going to take a global effort to end a global pandemic and that is for absolute certain. But what can happen between now and the time the vaccine is developed? There are currently 78 vaccine projects around the world beginning trials in various phases, with another 37 in development. Not to mention over 100 drugs designed to treat the dreaded coronavirus. But how would such a vaccine work? And what are the ramifications of getting one out in such a short length of time before we have enough time to find out how the world would react to it? Well here’s how it works.

When a new H1N1 influenza virus, known as swine flu, caused a pandemic in 2009, “there was an alarm bell because this was a brand-new H1N1,” Cowling says, and it was very similar to the 1918 killer. Swine flu proved less severe than feared. In part, Krammer says, “we were lucky because the pathogenicity of the virus wasn’t very high.” But another important reason was that six months after the virus appeared, scientists developed a vaccine for it.

Unlike measles or smallpox vaccines, which can confer long-term immunity, flu vaccines offer only a few years of protection. Influenza viruses are slippery, mutating rapidly to escape immunity. As a result, the vaccines must be updated every year and given regularly. But during a pandemic, even a short-term vaccine is a boon. The 2009 vaccine helped to temper a second wave of cases in the winter. As a result, the virus much more rapidly went the way of the 1918 virus, becoming a widely circulating seasonal flu, from which many people are now protected either by flu shots or by antibodies from a previous infection.

Projections about how COVID-19 will play out are speculative, but the end game will most likely involve a mix of everything that checked past pandemics: Continued social-control measures to buy time, new antiviral medications to ease symptoms, and a vaccine. The exact formula—how long control measures such as social distancing must stay in place, for instance—depends in large part on how strictly people obey restrictions and how effectively governments respond. For example, containment measures that worked for COVID-19 in places such as Hong Kong and South Korea came far too late in Europe and the U.S. “The question of how the pandemic plays out is at least 50 percent social and political,” Cobey says.

Unfortunately we wont be in the endgame for quite some time. As some have stated we are in the end of the beginning of this trial, there’s still the middle and end of this thing that we have to fight. However, one vaccine in particular is gaining a lot of traction and global attention. That vaccine is being developed at the University Of Oxford in England.

Six monkeys given a vaccine developed by the University of Oxford are said to be coronavirus-free 28 days after sustained exposure to the virus.

The result is a promising early sign for the vaccine, which is also undergoing human trials. A working human version, however, remains months away even in the best-case scenario.

The monkey experiment was carried out in late March by government scientists at the Rocky Mountain Laboratory in Hamilton, Montana, The New York Times reported Monday.

Six rhesus macaques received a vaccine produced by the Jenner Institute and the Oxford Vaccine Group. They were then exposed to heavy levels of the coronavirus that were known to have previously sickened other monkeys. These monkeys suffered no ill effects, however, and remained healthy at least 28 days later, The Times said.

Ah if only we could be as lucky as Mr. Burns! But sadly we are not until we find the vaccine for Coronavirus. So while we had the space race in the 60s and the Cold War in the 80s, the 20s have become a war to find a vaccine for a killer virus that is having some severe consequences on how humanity operates. So how does the vaccine work? There’s a whole variety of different vaccines in production but it will take just one that works.

Moderna Inc. MRNA, +1.43% said late Monday its candidate for a coronavirus vaccine will get to be evaluated further. The biotech company said it has submitted a new-drug application with the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to evaluate the vaccine candidate, mRNA-1273, in a more extensive study if supported by safety data from an initial study. The phase 2 study is expected to begin in the second quarter, Moderna said. That will evaluate the safety and any adverse reactions and immune responses of two mRNA-1273 vaccinations given 28 days apart, the company said. Each person participating in the study will be assigned to receive a placebo or different doses of the vaccine candidate, Moderna said. The plan is to enroll 600 healthy adults and older adults in two cohorts, Participants will be followed through 12 months after the second vaccination, Moderna said. "Submitting this (investigative new-drug application) is an important next step in the clinical development of our mRNA vaccine against SARS-CoV-2, and we are moving rapidly to potentially address this global health emergency," Moderna's Chief Medical Officer Tal Zaks said in a statement. A third phase could begin in the fall of 2020, the company said. Moderna is one ofnearly two dozen U.S. companies working on a vaccine against COVID-19 as the disease has killed more than 200,000 worldwide.

So while Oxford is leading the charge overseas, companies like Moderna and Johnson and Johnson are leading the charge at home in the USA. But while the news is currently grim, there is a lot of hope for those stemming for a vaccine before the end of the year. The Oxford vaccine continues to be the most promising as it has been developed by people who have experience in this sort of thing. But what does the future hold for this? Only time will tell.

A group of scientists at Oxford University have already begun clinical trials for a coronavirus vaccine, which could be ready by the fall.

Around 1,1000 people so far, who are between the ages of 18 and 55 and have not tested positive for COVID-19, have been enrolled in the trial, which began on April 23.

The study “aims to assess whether healthy people can be protected from COVID-19 with this new vaccine called ChAdOx1 nCoV-19,” according to a press release. The vaccination is made from a “weakened version of a common cold virus,” which affects chimpanzees but “has been genetically changed so that it is impossible for it to grow in humans.”

Researchers hope that after being given the vaccine, the body will be able to “recognize and develop an immune response” to the virus, which will help prevent infection.

So far, vaccines made from the weakened virus “have been given to more than 320 people…and have been shown to be safe” with minimal side effects.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s no secret that our brothers and sisters on the right are preferring the politics and policies of the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, even if it is online only for the time being! But they seem to be turning this war against the PLAGUE into a holy war! Because why not? What’s a war without some good old fashioned fire and brimstone religion injected into it? Even if the war we are fighting is against an invisible enemy? Well certain groups are going all out in their propaganda machines! Because then you hear crazy shit like this:

Religious-right supporters of President Donald Trump have been adding their voices to the right-wing protests calling on governors to “reopen” states by easing restrictions on businesses and public gatherings, while deflecting responsibility for the spread of the virus and the economic consequences away from Trump. Christian nationalist political operative David Lane joined the fray in over the weekend in a column for Charisma decrying “unelected government bureaucrats, selected ‘experts,’ doomsday soothsayers, computer models and a frenzied media” for what he characterized as “overreach” in response to the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Lane devoted much of his column to reprinting something written April 18 by Steve Riggle, a Houston, Texas-based pastor. Unlike many of the right-wing protests, which initially targeted Democratic governors, Riggle had harsh words for the very conservative governor of Texas, Greg Abbott:

Liberate Texas now. Time to reopen Texas. We have been patient, even though every projection of the impact of the coronavirus has been grossly wrong. We were told to flatten the curve because there was no cure, even though a very small number actually die from the virus in comparison with the population and other diseases and causes of death we live with on a daily basis. Now, over 22,000,000 people have lost their jobs in one month … and there is more economic fallout to follow [for example, 43% can’t afford to go more than one month without a paycheck, and 24% have less than $250 in their bank accounts preceding payday.] In our county, in the same time period, we had five coronavirus-related deaths and 15 suicides.

That is correct, these people need JAYSUS! And leave it to the religious right to ruin this for everyone, much like they’ve ruined pretty much everything since the dawn of time. But do we really need the uber right wing religious groups to be in charge of this pandemic? Of course the Dark One would listen to these people, never mind things like facts and science. But if we let these people get the best of us, these are the kinds of policies we will get to fight this thing.

The American Family Association, like Liberty Counsel and other religious-right groups, is portraying the enforcement of social distancing requirements as a threat to religious liberty. “Don’t let the coronavirus turn America into China,” blared an AFA press release distributed Friday. AFA called it “extremely troubling” that some state and local officials have imposed restrictions on public gatherings “that trample religious liberty underfoot.”

AFA sent an action alert to its members last week with a similar message. AFA recognizes that temporary, “evenly applied” public health restrictions “may be permissible,” but said it is “blatantly unconstitutional” for officials to prohibit churches from holding drive-in services “while allowing liquor stores, restaurants, and others to offer drive-in or curbside services.” State and local officials have taken differing approaches to drive-in worship gatherings.

AFA is encouraging activists to tell their governors, “Extraordinary state actions prohibiting the peaceful gathering of American citizens to exercise their religion violate the U.S. Constitution and are not permissible … I want to encourage you stand ready to defend the peaceful gathering of our state’s citizens should their right to do so be infringed upon by any government official or police.”

Some prominent religious-right figures initially resisted and defied social distancing requirements and restrictions on public gatherings, with pastors mocking congregants who stayed home out of fear of the virus, calling other pastors who complied with guidelines “losers,” and suggesting that people who didn’t show up at church and shake hands were “pansies.” But most churches seem to have decided to abide by state and local requirements, with many moving services online.

Of course it’s the secular progressive’s fault because we’re not embracing the LAWRD almighty! But that’s where my church comes in! And that brings in the question – who do you place the blame on this horrible atrocity for? Well now if you listened to E.W. Jackson, he places the blame for this squarely at China and there can be no debate on this one! Yeah really, this is why people are getting harassed right now, and well, Brother Jackson be shamed!!

Right-wing pastor E.W. Jackson said on his “The Awakening” radio program yesterday that anyone who doesn’t blame China for the COVID-19 pandemic should be investigated for treason.

Jackson was urging the lifting of social distancing guidelines and the “reopening” of America so those who are not in at-risk groups have “an opportunity to develop the antibodies [and] just let their bodies do what our bodies are designed by Almighty God to do, which is to resist illness, to resist disease.”

“You know what? God built in a vaccine for us,” Jackson said. “And we ought to be letting that take its work.”

Jackson then lashed out at Bill Gates, who recently said that efforts to blame the pandemic on China are “a distraction.”

“Let me be succinct and to the point,” Jackson said. “Anybody, after seeing the carnage this thing has wrought on our country and on the world, anybody who leaps to the defense of communist China should be investigated and perhaps charged and tried for treason. I know that may sound harsh, folks, but I’m serious.”

So Brother Jackson is leading a holy crusade against China and you never want to see anyone use that phrase for anything, because it’s worked out so well in past history hasn’t it? But the venerable holy war against COVID and social distancing has been proving to be, well, as toxic as the virus itself. In fact, we do not need their endorsement of the unholy Dark One as proof of this! I cannot allow it, good sirs and madams!!

James Goll, a self-proclaimed prophet and intercessor, did a livestream Saturday with Christian broadcaster Sid Roth, during which he claimed that he had been told by the Holy Spirit that President Donald Trump will win reelection and become “a great praying president” during his second term in office, usherin in the next Great Awakening.

“I believe it is the will of the Lord for President Trump to be reelected for a long-term reason if Jesus tarries any at all,” Goll proclaimed. “It is to turn this nation for lineage and legacy unto—this was the exact phrase the Holy Spirit gave me—to true constitutional conservatism. So I believe it’s God’s will for him to be reelected.”

Goll said that when he was visiting the Roland Reagan Presidential Library in 2019, the Holy Spirit spoke to him about Trump and what his reelection will mean for America’s future.

“He spoke something to me about later, in the middle of a second term,” Goll said. “He will become, Lord willing, in the middle of the second term, he will—there will be such an apprehension of God in his life that he won’t only have gone in by praying, he will be a great praying president who God will move on his heart, and he will be a part of welcoming in the Great Awakening.”

You know there will be a Great Awakening when this is all over, but it will hopefully be without your people ruining it! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Your Favorite Celebrity Is Over
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Can you really be over your favorite celebrity? Well there’s plenty of reasons why you should, and also plenty of reasons why you shouldn’t. What makes this even weirder is that these celebrities who are “over” are being cherry picked and for ridiculously crazy reasons. But what you might not know is that the forces that are driving these social media trends aren’t. Like all bad things, this trend got hijacked by bots pushing Korean pop videos and trying to downplay American culture. But what you might not know is where this originated from. This entire thing started when Nicki Minaj decided to ditch her record label and hold an “Atlantic Records Is Over” party.

They really didn't have to snap this hard - or did they?

Fans of Nicki Minaj put Atlantic Records on blast over the weekend when they accused the music giant of misconduct against their artists - again. While the origins of Saturday's resurfaced shambles are still questionable, it was definitely the Barbz that made #AtlanticRecordsOverParty the number-one trending topic in the entertainment category.

Atlantic, a subsidiary of Warner, planted its deep roots in jazz almost over 70 years ago with the likes of Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and Otis Redding - so, this might be THE longest trail we've ever been down, it's absolutely littered with similar allegations.

We can't find any other outlets covering Minaj's indirectly-direct relationship to this newest edition of #AtlanticRecordsIsOverParty (or even the topic in general). What we did find was a bit of the backstory.

It's still a little funny to see Minaj's name credited with that of Cardi B's in the same song title. After their 2017 collab with MotorSport, Cardi told a UK press outlet that Minaj's original verse was "not the verse that is out there right now." Hearing this, Minaj called Cardi out for not telling the whole story.

God can you imagine what would happen if Nicki Minaj and Cardi B got together in the same room? I can imagine there will be lots of yelling and bling comparisons, followed by which tiny purse dog is better than the other one. Now you would think this hashtag would end there. But oh no, just like a certain virus, it spread. And it spread to a whole bunch of different celebrities. Like Demi Lovato for instance!

It seems like there have been multiple attempts to "cancel" Demi Lovato, and the latest "Demi Lovato is Over Party" broke out over recent comments the singer made regarding Selena Gomez on a private Instagram account.

Previously, Demi was "canceled" by everyone on the internet for orchestrating the sexual assault of one of her private bodyguards as a "joke" by sending an escort to his room to engage in some funny business.

People didn't find the humor in Demi's "gag" and began calling her out for not only mistreating an employee but "trivializing rape" by merely calling it the "meanest prank" she ever pulled.

There's tons of other instances where people were ready to "pull the plug" on supporting Demi forever. But you know how the world of Twitter outrage works, at the end of the day.

For the most part, people latch on to something they're pretending to be furious about for a few hours, get said topic trending, then once that fizzles out, they jump onto the next issue to be upset about. The satisfaction seems to come from tweeting about how upset you are, rather than, you know, actually doing anything about it in real life, for the most part.

Yeah so chalk this up to a dose of fake outrage and people who clearly don’t get the idea of what they are talking about. Now that’s the female side of this equation. What about the male side of this equation – let’s look at Adam Driver, the star of the recent string of Star Wars films. Is he over? Oh you had better believe that he’s over!

While social media has mostly been smitten with Kylo Ren actor Adam Driver for his appearances in Star Wars, Marriage Story, and his stints on Saturday Night Live, some people turned against the Hollywood star because of his military service with the United States Marine Corps. A Twitter hashtag claimed #AdamDriverIsOver because some users disagreed with his reasons for serving in the military, but it didn't take long for fans to come to the actor's defense.

All of it stems from Driver's decision to join the Marines and people taking seemingly out of context quotes and reading way too deep into offhand information to distill a person's entire life story down to one decision, and of course fans getting entirely too worked up over what other people are saying about their favorite celebrity.

It all comes out because Drive ended up joining the United States Marine Corps shortly after the September 11th attacks in 2001, serving nearly three years in the Marines before being medically discharged due to a dislocated sternum. After his time in the Marines, Driver got into the Julliard School and...well, the rest is history. An iconic run on Star Wars later and now he's one of the most sought-after actors in all of Hollywood.

Really? You’re mad that Adam Driver joined the Marines in his early life? No wonder that guy looks like he could kill you more ways than John Wick. Or how about another unlikely celebrity to get tangled up in all of this mess – Brendan Urie? You know him as the lead singer and performer of Panic! At The Disco, but did you know that he made some transphobic remarks in the early days of PATD? Well, neither did we! And he’s famous for playing a drag performer in “Kinky Boots”!

In the thread, @dinasapphic posted a video from a past concert in which Brendon states: "I wish I was born black so I could wear the clothes I wear without getting made fun of." He then states that black people are able to wear whatever they want but white people aren't.

There is also a video in the thread in which Brendon says to a crowd that he wants to "fuck them whether they want him to or not", comments in which he compares Caitlyn Jenner coming out as trans to Rachel Dolezal claiming she's black and a snippet from an old interview in which he uses a transphobic slur.

Given that many of these comments were made years ago, Panic! fans have rushed to defend Brendon and argue that he's changed and these remarks no longer represent him. In the case of the transphobic slur, Brendon apologised for it in his Twitch livestream. He said: "I am so deeply sorry. I felt sick to my stomach when I realised how hurtful that word is."

A Panic! fan tweeted: "brendon urie is trending for shit he’s done years ago again. i’m not gonna get in on it much but it’s obvious he has changed and he has apologized for all the stuff he’s said in the past. ffs just fucking drop it and move on. focus on the present, not the past. #weloveyoubrendon" [sic].

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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Brian Kemp
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Politicians at the state and local levels who are so toxic, you wonder how they’re able to get away with the things they get away with. This is:

This week – Georgia governor Brian Kemp. You might remember that we previously covered his battle between him and Stacy Abrams following the 2018 governor elections. But now he’s being added to the list as being the governor of the state who’s reopening the earliest amid the crisis and it’s shaping up to be quite the disaster. But now apparently he’s going against the president and let’s face it, Trump is not the kind of guy who you want to screw with, because it will end very badly for you. So in an era where Trump has simply given up leading the country, he’s literally left it to states to fend for themselves in this pandemic. Well let’s see how that is going.

President Donald Trump's surprisingly public rebuke of Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp's reopening plans is still reverberating through state capitals across the country and is contributing to decisions by some governors to take a slower approach in opening businesses in their state, Republican officials in a half-dozen states told CNN.

"No governor wants to endure the same wrath as Brian Kemp," a top adviser to a Republican governor said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to avoid drawing similar ire from the White House.
"We all watched that very carefully and no one wants to be called out like that by the President," another aide to a Republican governor said.

The President's conflicting guidance -- initially calling to "liberate" states, but then sharply criticizing Kemp for opening some businesses on Friday -- has led to an often confusing, messy patchwork of state-by-state rules.

The reopening of some Georgia businesses, which started including restaurants on Monday, was at odds with White House Task Force guidance for states to first have a 14-day decline in coronavirus cases. After initially signaling his support for Kemp, Trump criticized the move after his medical advisers voiced strong concern.

That’s how they say it down there – y’all suck! And yes, this is one of the biggest circular firing squads out there, and Trump is a guy who you do not want to engage in that kind of behavior with. But when you live in a country run by a president who simply doesn’t care, where are you left to turn? Either you go on your own, or you shut up. And well, neither option is particularly good right now.

President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence repeatedly told Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp that they approved of his aggressive plan to allow businesses to reopen, just a day before Trump pulled an about-face and publicly bashed the plan, according to two administration officials.

The green light from Pence and Trump came in separate private conversations with the Republican governor both before Kemp announced his plan to ease coronavirus restrictions and after it was unveiled on Monday, the officials said. Trump’s sudden shift came only after top health advisers reviewed the plan more closely and persuaded the president that Kemp was risking further spread of the virus by moving too quickly.

“I told the governor of Georgia Brian Kemp that I disagree strongly with his decision to open certain facilities,” Trump said Wednesday, just a day after telling reporters that he trusted Kemp’s judgment. “He knows what’s he’s doing.”

On Thursday, he was even harder on the governor: “I wasn’t happy with Brian Kemp, I wasn’t at all happy.”

Now how does this whole thing affect business owners? Well there’s plenty of ways that this could have an affect on the places you go. Do you really want to get a haircut or eat out at a restaurant or go to a bowling alley in this time when this virus lingers? And really the other question is – are there enough bowling alleys in Georgia for them to warrant essential business status?

Hair stylists at Salon Gloss in Woodstock, Georgia, wore masks and gloves on Friday, maintaining distance by using every other work station and keeping a supply of hand sanitizer nearby. Their customers also donned masks and gloves, while another employee disinfected a countertop.

Similar scenes played out across the state Friday, the first day Republican Gov. Brian Kemp allowed gyms, barber shops, hair salons, tattoo parlors and bowling alleys to reopen their doors, just a few weeks after he issued a stay-at-home order to slow the spread of the coronavirus.
But other businesses remained closed, like Sabrina Watkins' salon in College Park, an Atlanta suburb. She won't return to work until she feels safe, she said, even though customers called asking if they could get their hair done Friday.

"I said, 'No, absolutely not. Get your hair done for what?'" Watkins said. "There's a pandemic, people are dying. As much as I love the business, now is not the time, regardless of who says it is."

Yes, you do suck. So in this unprecedented crisis that is affecting every person on the planet, we don’t have a leader at the national level. We might not even have leaders at the state level. But with a population eager to get back to work and return things to the level that they were before the virus, maybe we turn to the business leaders? They seem to be leading where our governors fail.

Unfazed by mounting criticism from mayors in his state and President Trump, Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp forged ahead with his decision to allow businesses across the state to reopen Friday, as the confirmed coronavirus death toll in the United States passes 50,000 people.

Kemp, a Republican serving in his first term, was one of the last governors to impose a stay-at-home order for his state, which took effect on April 3.

Citing "favorable data, enhanced testing and approval of our health care professionals," Kemp said Monday that some businesses once deemed nonessential, like fitness centers, tattoo parlors and nail salons, can welcome back customers starting Friday.

In a tweet on Friday, the president reiterated his most recent stance that it was too soon for Georgia to reopen.

"I (or @VP) never gave Governor Brian Kemp an OK on those few businesses outside of the Guidelines. FAKE NEWS!," he said, despite praising the governor earlier this week. "Spas, beauty salons, tattoo parlors, & barber shops should take a little slower path, but I told the Governor to do what is right for the great people of Georgia (& USA)!"

So reopening against reopening provisions, and getting on Trump’s bad side. That’s Georgia governor Brian Kemp – yet another in the ever-growing list of:

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!

Of course you know by now the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and while we’re drinking, we talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. And well, in the days of the Great Pandemic, that kind of news is in short supply right now. Look, I get it, we’re bored, there’s absolutely nothing to do because of COVID-19. And I’m stuck here at home with no bar, no bartender, and no wait staff. But I did swipe the copious amounts of booze we have on hand before we went into the Great Lockdown. Let me consult my virtual bartender for advice on what to drink. Tell me, o virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about a stolen painting? A unicorn cocktail? Eh, no thanks, I will stick with my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Anyway in the early days of the lockdown in Belgium, this happened.

THE HAGUE, Netherlands (AP) — A Dutch museum says that a painting by Vincent van Gogh was stolen in a raid overnight.

The Singer Laren museum east of Amsterdam says “Spring Garden” by the Dutch master was stolen in the early hours of Monday.

Police are investigating a break-in at a Dutch art museum that is currently closed because of restrictions aimed at slowing the spread of the coronavirus, the museum and police said Monday.

It wasn’t immediately clear whether any other paintings or other artworks were stolen in the heist. The museum did not release any details. It scheduled a news conference for Monday afternoon.

Before the closure, the museum was hosting an exhibition titled “Mirror of the Soul” with works by artists ranging from Toorop to Mondrian, in cooperation with Amsterdam’s Rijksmuseum.

Now this raises many questions, and the biggest one I have is – where the hell does one acquire a sledgehammer in Belgium? I’ve been to Belgium, they don’t exactly have giant home improvement stores like Le Home Depot here. So how does one not only acquire a sledgehammer but use it on an art museum that was supposed to be closed because of the pandemic?

CCTV footage has captured the moment an art thief smashed his way inside a museum to steal a Vincent van Gogh painting while it was shut due to coronavirus lockdown measures.

A Dutch crime programme first aired the security camera footage showing how the man shattered the reinforced glass doors at a small museum just outside of Amsterdam.

The robber could be seen hurrying out through the museum gift shop with Van Gogh’s The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring (1884) – said to have an estimated value of around £5m – tucked under his right arm.

Police hope that publicising the footage will help them track down whoever stole from the work from the Singer Laren museum on 30 March.

“I am shocked and unbelievably p***** off,” said museum director Jan Rudolph de Lorm. “It is horrible for all of us, because art is there to be seen and shared by all of us, for society as a whole, to bring enjoyment, to bring inspiration, and also to bring comfort.”

Well yeah obviously. We’ll get the painting back, dude. Just chill out and have a drink with us. Now, the nice thing is that borders are closed and air travel is currently prohibited in most countries, so he can’t go very far! So how do we go about catching one of the ballsiest thieves in recent memory? Well we got video surveillance and there aren’t a whole lot of places we can go. Just need to pinpoint maniacs with a sledgehammer, and that’s some fine sleuthing!

All it took was a few sturdy swings with a sledgehammer and a prized painting by Vincent van Gogh was gone.

A Dutch crime-busting television show has aired security camera footage showing how an art thief smashed his way through reinforced glass doors at a museum in the early hours of March 30. He later hurried out through the museum gift shop with a Vincent van Gogh painting tucked under his right arm and the sledgehammer in his left hand.

Police hope that publicizing the images will help them track down the thief who stole Van Gogh’s “The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring 1884” from the Singer Laren Museum while it was shut down due to coronavirus containment measures.

Nobody has been arrested in the theft and the painting, which was on loan from another Dutch museum, the Groninger Museum, when it was stolen, is still missing.

Police withheld other footage from inside the museum in Laren, a town east of Amsterdam, to protect their investigation. They also did not air video from outside the museum of the thief leaving.

Yeah so let that be a lesson to would-be art thieves out there. If you’re thinking of planning a heist during the Great Quarantine, then well, you’ve got another thing coming! But that should also double as a lesson for art museums out there – during the time of the Great Quarantine, you’ve got to figure out a way to keep your paintings and sculptures locked the fuck up, because if a guy can get into a museum that easily, what message does that send thieves everywhere?

Sixty hours ago, Van Gogh’s oil The Parsonage Garden at Nuenen in Spring was stolen from the Singer Laren museum in the Netherlands. I am certain that it was not what Van Gogh would have wished for his birthday; Monday was the 167th anniversary of his birth.

It also happened to be the birthday of Chris Marinello of Art Recovery International, perhaps the world’s foremost art theft expert. I called him and asked if he thought that the date of the theft was intentional. His response? “I don’t think that they were intelligent enough to know it. I’m not going to give them that much credit.” According to Marinello, others have conjectured that gangs or the underworld were involved, but he is unconvinced. “It was not done by professionals at all; it was not that sophisticated a theft.”

You will note that he uses the plural to describe whoever committed it. On the basis of the evidence thus far, Marinello feels that it may well have been two thieves. One performed the smash and grab, and the other waited outside on a motorcycle, or perhaps a bicycle, since it is The Netherlands, after all. (I cannot wait to see that CCTV footage.) There is, though, the chance that more criminals were involved.

Marinello explains that it was just a matter of timing. The one who smashed the front glass door rushed to the painting, removed it from the wall, and simply left before the police arrived. (More precisely, to quote a poor machine translation of an original Dutch report, the police arrived, “but the birds had already started flying.”) According to Marinello, “They simply took advantage of the pandemic lock down and the fact that officers are not responding as quickly as they normally do. The alarms are ringing and color cameras rolling, but they still can’t get to the museums immediately.” In fact, he confides that he is working on eight cases right now, all of which involve the slow response of law enforcement/government officials. “I’m concerned for all museums right now”, he ominously intones.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2: Family Values Championship
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Well folks our experiment for Round 2 Week 1 was a rousing success and we will keep doing this all the way through the Final Four and the championship! We will at least have one champion to crown this year, am I right? If you missed it last week, Florida routed New Mexico to reach their second Final Four and they have become one of the favorites to win the whole thing. This week, it’s the Family Values Championship! We’re in Chicago at the United Center where last year’s champion and current conference favorite #1 Alabama take on red hot rivals in #4 Indiana. Let’s go to the floor where the two are waiting and willing to tangle!

[font size="4"]Alabama:[/font]

Alabama is no stranger to being at the top of the Family Values conference. Their stats are legendary and they have some serious street cred behind their brand. So what have they been up to lately? Well the multiple failed attempts to put former judge and alleged child molester Roy Moore back in the spotlight have failed spectacularly. Well for starters since the entire world has been turned upside down by coronavirus, there’s plenty of things happening that have been well, concerning. And for starters PRIDE events in June have been either postponed or canceled because of this thing and that includes events in Alabama.

Alabama’s oldest LGBTQ pride festival has been postponed due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Central Alabama Pride announced its decision to push back Birmingham’s Pride Fest and parade on its Facebook page Friday night. The events, which were originally planned for June 13 and 14, could be rescheduled for September or October. CAP officials will be getting feedback from other LGBTQ organizations as they discuss permanent dates during the next public meeting on Wednesday.

“We feel this was the best decision for the health and welfare of our community,” CAP officials stated on social media.

The 42-year-old organization held its first public pride festival in 1980. About 250 people attended the organization’s first parade in 1989. Now, thousands of people across the southeast come to Birmingham in rainbow-themed attire during the annual events in June.

Gov. Kay Ivey’s statewide stay-at-home order from April 3 only shut down non-essential businesses and activities. The order is expected to be lifted on April 30, but CAP Vice President Justin McGuire said it’s hard to measure how long social-distancing rules, as well as the economic impacts of outbreak, will last.

Unfortunately that wont be happening in Alabama this year. But Alabama’s family values have taken quite a sharp turn since the pandemic began. But what will be happening is that Alabama’s churches will still be operating as usual – thanks to Kay Ivey’s executive order. And guess what? If you think churches are immune from the virus, well, that whole congregation might be infected!

The Church of the Highlands continued its third day of hosting drive-through testing for COVID-19 and reached more than 1,000 total tests early Thursday morning.
The tests are being administered by the staff of Christ Health Center, a clinic founded by the Church of the Highlands in Woodlawn in 2009, and will be processed by Assurance Scientific Laboratory in Birmingham, which provides the test kits.

The testing is being done in tents on the parking lot at the main campus of the church on Grants Mill Road, just off Interstate 459. More than 100 volunteers and medical staff workers are coordinating the effort.
People are discouraged from coming if they don’t have clear symptoms or known exposure. Pre-screening will be done on site.

Drive-through testing patients are being billed through their health insurance. “Uninsured paid nothing," Schranz said. "If they had insurance they will be billed.”
more: https://www.al.com/coronavirus/2020/03/covid-19-testing-at-church-of-the-highlands-reaches-1000-mark-8-new-cases-detected-so-far.html

No, no, no demon birds here. Demon viruses, sure, and those must be gone if we are to get our society back to the way it was pre-pandemic. But there is one thing that can always be counted on – Roy Moore is always good for a laugh! So when you can’t beat ‘em, sue ‘em! And that’s exactly what Roy Moore has done. Never mind that he’s a garbage candidate who could never win a real GE, he’s… wait for it… suing against fake news!

Roy Moore is seeking more than $40 million in a lawsuit he filed Monday against a Washington magazine, three of its writers, its editors and owners over a series of what he describes as “fake news” attacks stemming from accusations he faced while a U.S. Senate candidate in 2017.

Moore, who is again running for the Senate, filed the lawsuit in federal court against the Washington Examiner publishing company and ownership and five employees.

It's the sixth lawsuit Moore has filed relating to the allegations that he made unwanted sexual and romantic advances to teen girls when he was in his 30s.

Moore has repeatedly denied all allegations.

In the latest lawsuit, Moore said writers for the Examiner acted with malice in writing stories about him and disregarded a demand for a retraction following the first story. The lawsuit includes two counts of defamation and one count of intentional infliction of emotional distress.

The lawsuit seeks $10 million for damages to Moore's reputation and emotional distress and more than $30 million in punitive damages. Melissa Isaak, who is representing Moore in other lawsuits, filed the suit.

[font size="4"]Indiana:[/font]

Indiana is always a Family Values favorite. They of course gave us their former governor and current Vice President, Mike Pence. A guy who cannot even have lunch in the same room with another woman who isn’t his wife, in such an absurdly creepy branch of religion. Well, while Indiana may be the home of fizzled-out presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, they are also the home of some old fashioned fire and brimstone religion. But churches are fighting back against stay-at-home orders!

This year Holy Week for many Christians comes at a time when they are legally barred from gathering inside their places of worship, and Indiana's governor is asking religious leaders not to go against the social distancing order because churches are not considered "essential."

A few conservative Christian leaders have criticized Governor Eric Holcomb for not labeling church services as essential, like some other states across the country have done. But Holcomb said during his press conference Monday that he isn't backing down from his decision.

"This disease does not care," Holcomb said. "This disease will prey on the vulnerable, this disease will prey on large gatherings. We have it within us to prevent that."

Gov. Holcomb's strong words come after a Church of Christ in Hammond received a citation over the weekend for holding a Palm Sunday service in violation of the state's stay-at-home order.

Yeah probably. Let’s not forget that this is about Family Values. Which there are a lot of in the Hoosier State. As much as they love college basketball – which we can’t have right now – they also love them some churches. Which, unlike a lot of their worshippers, have really evolved with the times. Well, some of them have anyways!

A suburban Indianapolis church held services on Sunday for the first time in more than a month, taking care to ensure that worshippers adhered to social-distancing best practices and limiting attendance to conform to the governor's coronavirus guidance.

The iTOWN Church in Fishers held 40-minute services in which only 10 people were allowed to attend, including the pastor. They started on the hour, leaving 20 minutes in between for cleaning crews to sterilize the inside of the church before the next group of worshippers arrived, the Indianapolis Star reported.

Pastor David Sumrall said in a Facebook post Thursday that the church would resume services while adhering to Republican Gov. Eric Holcomb's executive order prohibiting gatherings of more than 10 people, adding that the church made its decision after consulting with “local government leaders and our lawyers.”

The services resumed on a day that the state passed two grim coronavirus milestones. In a news release, the state Department of Health said Sunday that 28 more people in Indiana had died of COVID-19, bringing the state's death toll to 813. It also said the number of confirmed cases in Indiana had climbed by 634, bringing the statewide total to 15,012.

Damn straight Rev! That’s how we are all feeling right now. But remember when Trump said that our quarantine nightmare would be over and that we’d have packed churches by Easter? Well pastors across Indiana held that same opinion as Trump and when they didn’t get their way, well, they of course went the predictable apeshit route you’d expect. At lest they have a governor who is more understandable than Kay Ivey.

This year Holy Week for many Christians comes at a time when they are legally barred from gathering inside their places of worship, and Indiana's governor is asking religious leaders not to go against the social distancing order because churches are not considered "essential."

A few conservative Christian leaders have criticized Governor Eric Holcomb for not labeling church services as essential, like some other states across the country have done. But Holcomb said during his press conference Monday that he isn't backing down from his decision.

"This disease does not care," Holcomb said. "This disease will prey on the vulnerable, this disease will prey on large gatherings. We have it within us to prevent that."

Gov. Holcomb's strong words come after a Church of Christ in Hammond received a citation over the weekend for holding a Palm Sunday service in violation of the state's stay-at-home order.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

Well we got a tie score here going into the last minute…. Indiana has the ball, they shoot, ooh they got denied! Now a rebound, also denied! 15 seconds left… Alabama has the ball, they shoot… and… IT’S GOOD!!! Alabama has stunned Indiana, they move on to face Florida in a rematch of last year! Sorry Hoosiers, better luck next year! Alabama – cut the net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week it’s Round 2 Week 3 and we’re live in San Jose at the home of the San Jose Sharks, the SAP Center in San Jose! It’s the Batshit Conference championship - #1 Virginia takes on red hot #3 Idaho in a winner take all contest to advance to the Final Four!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 29, 2020, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Another week, another home show. We’re in it for the duration of this awful pandemic. When things get back up and running we will try to do some live shows from our new home at Flappers but without the new music for the time being. We hope to do some full shows in the near future, we will see how this awful virus pans out. And of course our plans for touring the world – which we hoped to do for season 9 – got squashed. So instead we will be starting out with some very small scale shows at our new home in Burbank. If travel restrictions get lifted in the near future, we will be going back out on the road and bringing you our full show complete with some new musical guests. OK that said do we have time for the thing? Well I want to say that we have a thing before we get into the meat of conservative idiocy. But now that even Oktoberfest, the mother of all beer festivals, is canceled for this year, we got nothing! One thing we do have a lot of though is misinformation about the virus, and I think that my favorite so far is coming from America’s televangelists who are insisting that they can cure the virus just by placing a hex on it. Sorry guys but it doesn’t work that way. Anyways, I cannot wait until things start returning to some sort of normalcy so we have things to talk about other than this god forsaken virus!!! Shit, even our logo for the rest of the season is going to be reflecting the virus apocalypse! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But even John Oliver’s segment is all about the virus:

The news is all bad, but we will try to keep it funny for you guys because we all could use a sense of humor right now. Because, the Wheel Of Corruption is back! Not the live wheel you know and love, because there’s no way that I could fit that thing in my house, but instead we have a virtual model that’s been setup until we can get back in the clubs! In the number one slot this week is Trump Vs The Governors (1). Gavin Newsom and Andrew Cuomo, among others, are proving to be the adults in the room, while Trump is proving to be the insufferable child who begs for toys. In the second slot this week, is also Donald Trump (2). When do we reopen the economy after the COVID-19 shit show? Well Trump is throwing a daily temper tantrum on national TV and moving the goalposts back further and further. Taking the third slot is something called “Operation Grandslam” (3) and you may have noticed these protests against social distancing popping up in your state, but it gets crazier. And it’s a GOP sting operation at that! At slot #4 this week is Vince McMahon (4). Yes, even the head honcho and one of Trump’s BFFs is going through some rough times, as the XFL finally kicked the bucket, but he’s an economic advisor! In slot #5 this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, Trump is pushing the cure for COVID as hydroxychloroquine, but we will show you using examples from around the world, why this could be a really bad idea. At slot #6 this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and this week our pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed by the Christian right’s response to the unfolding tragedy, but it’s about what you would expect. In the seventh slot this week is “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and this week Fox News is turning up their COVID death toll rhetoric, and if they get their way, a whole lot of us are gonna die! In the 8th slot this week, after he made a casual reference about the potentially low death toll of COVID, we profile Dr. Oz (8) on a new edition of “This Fucking Guy”. Taking the #9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb, because the virus hasn’t slowed down people being incredibly and predictably stupid! Finally this week we have the 2nd round of Stupidest State 2020! It’s a Gun Nut duel to the death as #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico in a battle to take the crown and head to the Final Four! Unfortunately no live music until we’re able to leave the house and get back to normal life. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Trump Vs The Governors
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Unfortunately there’s no tableside guacamole option because the CDC has temporarily suspended tableside preparation. Also, no t-shirt cannon either. And a much smaller wheel for the time being. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Coronavirus
- Elections
- Buy A Vowel
- Chance
- Community Chest
- Greed
- Walls
- Intermission
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Bankrupt
- 10,000
- 5,000
- Drink
- Morally Bankrupt
- Holy Shit
- Top 10 Investigates
- Whammy
- Double Whammy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Stupidest State
- 15,000
- A Random Tweet
- Infowars
- Go Directly To Jail
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy…stop! Oh hey it’s one of our patented clips without context!

Well I hear that a plague is one of the punishments. But that’s probably because we elected the most sinful guy in history! Spin it again! Donald Trump. And for this segment – we are going to talk about the one question that’s on everybody’s minds. When will this crisis end and we can resume normal life? It’s the question of the year, the decade, and maybe even the century. Because this crisis is unparalleled and unprecedented. We were totally unprepared for this economically and socially. But with signs of the virus retreating and some things getting back to normal, others may not. And what is going to happen ultimately with this whole thing? Well first let’s look to Las Vegas.

Standing in front of an empty storefront along Main Street, Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman was beaming with optimism, believing that businesses would make it through the coronavirus pandemic.

“We’re all together in this and we are going to come out with a bang,” she said earlier this month.

On Tuesday, it became apparent what the independent mayor may have had in mind. She said she wants to reopen casinos, assuming that 100 percent of the population are carriers of the novel coronavirus.

Let them, and visitors, gather and gamble, smoke in confined spaces, touch slot machines all day — and let the chips, and apparently the infections, fall where they may.

“Assume everybody is a carrier," the mayor said Tuesday on MSNBC. "And then you start from an even slate. And tell the people what to do. And let the businesses open and competition will destroy that business if, in fact, they become evident that they have disease, they’re closed down. It’s that simple.”

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/04/22/las-vegas-coronavirus-reopen/

Yeah it’s not quite time to let the dogs out yet though, and I don’t think they thought this plan through very well. That’s just one example of this. Let’s go to Georgia where Brian Kemp is proving to be one of the dumber heads in the room. As they said in Animal House, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to live a life, son.”. And really in this time of death and a killer virus roaming the landscape, are these the kinds of places you would want to patronize? Places like tattoo parlors and bowling alleys should probably be last on the list, IMO.

Georgia Republican Gov. Brian Kemp announced Monday that certain businesses can reopen this week in a move that breaks from the majority of state leaders and defies the warnings of many public health officials.

Kemp said specifically that fitness centers, bowling alleys, body art studios, barbers, hair and nail salons, and massage therapy businesses can reopen as early Friday, April 24. Theaters and restaurants will be allowed to open on Monday, April 27, while bars and night clubs will remain closed for now.

The decision follows new guidance unveiled by President Donald Trump last week meant to help states loosen their social distancing restrictions.

According to an influential model often cited by the White House, from the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, Georgia hit its projected "peak" for daily deaths 13 days ago, on April 7.

But that same model predicts that dozens of people will die each day in the coming week. And to limit a resurgence of the virus, the model says that Georgia shouldn't start relaxing social distancing until after June 15 -- when the state can begin considering other measures to contain the virus, such as contact tracing and isolation.

Man, the Dude and Walter must be having it rough right now. But they’re not the only ones. Let’s look at my home state of California where Gavin Newsom really is proving to be one of the cooler heads in the room and one of the adults taking this thing seriously. The thing is, Trump is betting that we’re going to just dive into this thing head first and expect that things will return to normal right now. But it’s not, we’re going to be in the shallow end of the pool for quite a while.

It's the question we're all asking: When will California reopen?

California Governor Gavin Newsom promised to outline some of the possible timeline for reopening on Wednesday, however the state continues to take a slow and gradual approach.

It's a contrast to some other states, which under public pressure, are already beginning to ease their shelter-in place-orders -- even if experts and some political leaders caution against it.

In South Carolina, some department stores and retail stores reopened Tuesday with 20% capacity. Public beaches opened as well.

In Georgia, businesses such as gyms, barbershops and bowling alleys will be allowed to reopen on Friday. Some restaurants and theaters will be able to reopen next week.

In Colorado, also starting next week, residents will be recommended to stay home but not required to do so. And in Tennessee and Ohio, a majority of businesses will be allowed to reopen May 1st, if not sooner.

Yeah so we’re treading waters very carefully but Trump wants to dive in the deep end and get things back to normal. Because we all know where this is leading. You know the reason why Trump is so eager to reopen the economy despite warnings is that he wants to get back out on the road and hold his ridiculous MAGA rallies. There’s an election in November and he is lost without them. So sleep tight, because Trump is about to make things that much worse.

President Donald Trump is eager to hit the road.

As his own health officials continue to warn against nonessential travel, Trump has privately urged aides over the past week to start adding official events back to his schedule, including photo ops and site visits that would allow him to ditch Washington for a few hours. The day trips would be similar to those Vice President Mike Pence has made visiting businesses during the viral pandemic, according to three people familiar with the planning.

Speaking at a coronavirus task force briefing this week, Trump noted he hasn’t “left the White House in months,” except to send off the USNS Comfort from a Virginia naval base and visit the Federal Emergency Management Agency‘s headquarters in March. The president has otherwise stayed within the executive complex for six weeks, an extraordinary stretch of confinement for a president who — even while stuck in Washington — loves to golf and visit his businesses. Trump's last big trip outside the Beltway to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta ended with a three-day fundraising swing in Florida, during which he stayed at his Mar-a-Lago beach club and golfed at a nearby course he owns.

His itch to get away from Washington comes as his administration pressures governors to begin loosening restrictions on interstate travel, business operations and public gatherings — part of a three-phase plan the federal government released last week to reopen the U.S. economy after a near-total shutdown due to Covid-19. The road map has been criticized by some state officials who say they lack the testing capacity needed to safely reopen communities in accordance with the president’s timeline. Trump officials insist enough testing is already available to handle the first phase of reopening.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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[br] B

Now entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Sweet, I win 5,000 of something. Still don’t know what it is though. Use your imagination. Spin it again! Donald Trump. It’s no secret that we’re all going stir fucking crazy not being able to explore the world, see our friends and family, or even do everyday tasks like being able to go to the store or go to restaurants. And there’s no one going more stir crazy than our own president, Donald J. Trump. Which is why we’re subjected to him on pre-evening TV every day since the lockdowns began. But what is causing his bizarre behavior as of lately? Well a whole lot of things.

President Donald Trump accused Democrats on Monday of playing “a very dangerous political game” by insisting there is a shortage of tests for the coronavirus. But Democratic Kansas Gov. Laura Kelly, expressing the frustration of many state leaders, said the federal response has simply not been “good enough.”

Trump’s latest blast came even as Vice President Mike Pence assured governors the federal government is working around-the-clock to help them ramp up testing.

Pence sought to soften the Trump administration’s message amid growing clamor from governors of both parties for a national testing strategy to help secure in-demand supplies like testing swabs and chemical reagents. Trump said Sunday that he could use the Defense Production Act to compel one company to manufacture swabs.

“When it comes to testing, we’re here to help,” Pence told governors during a videoconference from the headquarters of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. The Associated Press obtained audio of the call.

Yeah no, you fucking moron, *YOU* are the one who is playing political games with the protection equipment that doctors and nurses so desperately need to get us through this thing. There’s already predictions of a second wave and it’s going to get worse. And why are we putting up with this? This isn’t presidential behavior, these are the ramblings of a psychotic mad man intent on killing a whole lot of us.

President Donald Trump said Wednesday he’s prepared to announce new guidelines allowing some states to quickly ease up on social distancing even as business leaders told him they need more coronavirus testing and personal protective equipment before people can safely go back to work.

The industry executives cautioned Trump that the return to normalcy will be anything but swift.

The new guidelines, expected to be announced Thursday, are aimed at clearing the way for an easing of restrictions in areas with low transmission of the coronavirus, while keeping them in place in harder-hit places. The ultimate decisions will remain with governors.

“We’ll be opening some states much sooner than others,” Trump said.

But in a round of calls with business leaders Wednesday, Trump was warned that a dramatic increasing in testing and wider availability of protective equipment will be necessary for the safe restoration of their operations.

These are crazy times but they do not call for a crazy leader. Unfortunately we’re stuck with him until November or they enact the 25th amendment. Whichever comes first. But here’s what is crazy is that he won’t shut the fuck up. And you ever notice how the people who say we shouldn’t politicize tragedies are the ones who are actively politicizing tragedies? Well, you might be right on that one.

The WHO responded Wednesday to President Donald Trump’s threat to cut its funding, saying the move would not be appropriate during the global coronavirus pandemic.

“We are still in the acute phase of a pandemic so now is not the time to cut back on funding,” Dr Hans Kluge, WHO regional director for Europe, told a virtual briefing, according to Reuters.

A day earlier, Trump threatened to withhold funding from the United Nations’ health agency, claiming it got “every aspect” of the coronavirus pandemic wrong.

“With regard to us, they’re taking a lot of heat because they didn’t want the borders closed, they called it wrong,” Trump said at his daily briefing. “They really called, I would say, every aspect of it wrong.”

And if you’re wondering, not only is Trump politicizing tragedies, he’s also shunning the experts in this bizarre attempt to stroke his ego and prove that he’s right on everything. Look, you can’t make the claim that you’re right on everything, no one can. And I predict that we’ll see the firing of our surgeon general before the end of next week, count on it.

The Trump administration took Surgeon General Jerome Adams off television last week after his controversial remarks on Covid-19's threat to minorities, silencing the White House's loudest voice on racial disparities even as concerns mount about risks to communities of color.

Adams made just one TV appearance last week, a steep decline from the 10-plus TV appearances he made the prior week on programs like ABC's "Good Morning America,” CBS’ “This Morning” and NBC’s “Today Show." The surgeon general received multiple requests for high-profile media appearances last week that the White House didn't accept, said two people with knowledge of some of those requests. Adams also hasn't made an appearance at a White House press briefing since April 10.

Adams' disappearance on the airwaves and at the White House podium followed comments at a press briefing on April 10 that progressives attacked as racially insensitive for shifting responsibility to minorities. But health officials also fear that minimizing Adams means the White House is retreating from questions about its work on behalf of minority communities, a perennially sensitive issue for President Donald Trump and his administration. Early data from Chicago showed that black communities represented about two-thirds of the city's Covid-19 deaths, despite representing about one-third of the population.

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[font size="8"]Infowars
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy… What? Bankrupt? NO!!!

Spin it again. Ah man, do I really have to talk about Infowars? Make me. But I don’t want to. OK my producer is telling me that I really need to talk about them. Fine. So folks you know that there’s protests propping up all over the country. But the question now is who’s behind them? Well, just check out the protests happening in Austin, Texas. Austin – one of our favorite places to visit. And it’s also the home of Alex Jones and Infowars. So on Saturday when the white male gun nut wannabe war lords were protesting the Texas state capital, guess who crashed the party?

The conspiracy theorist Alex Jones was pictured shaking hands with protesters at a Texas rally against social distancing measures on Saturday.

A video posted on Twitter yesterday showed the Infowars founder shaking hands with at least four people at the demonstration against measures designed to keep people safe amid the novel coronavirus pandemic.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an advisory in March that encouraged Americans to "stop handshaking" to prevent the spread of infectious disease amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, also said Americans should avoid shaking hands ever again to bring down both coronavirus and influenza cases.

In a YouTube video of Jones' appearance at the "You Can't Close America" rally in Austin, the conspiracy theorist said: "Texas, I salute you all. Texas is leading the way."

Ahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put a warning on that thing!!! Dear god. Look, guys, we get it. Nobody likes this, and show me one person on earth who does, and I will tell you that is a crazy person. Nobody likes to be isolated and quarantined. But this disease is a beast like nothing we’ve ever seen before. And until we know how this ends, we’re all in the same boat. But these protests are springing up all over the country.

In tandem with Donald Trump, Fox News hosts and other influential conservatives spent the weekend egging on a small number of mask-less protesters flouting social distancing guidelines by crowding state capitols and demanding that closure orders be lifted. These “Give me liberty and give me death!” rallies, as a Washington Post satire piece put it, represent the opinions of a decided minority: A Politico–Morning Consult poll released last week found that 81% of Americans support maintaining social distancing measures “for as long as is needed to curb the spread of coronavirus, even if it means continued damage to the economy,” while nearly 60% of respondents in a similar NBC–Wall Street Journal survey voiced concerns over the U.S. lifting mitigation efforts too soon. But perhaps out of wishful thinking, members of the right-wing media are nonetheless framing protests as the Tea Party movement reincarnated.

“A lot of people are very proud of you,” said Fox News host Jeanine Pirro during a Saturday night interview with Meshawn Maddock, an organizer behind the so-called “Operation Gridlock” protest in Lansing, Michigan. “Peaceful protests, civil liberties, it’s what we’re all about. Keep going.” The segment aired after Pirro’s colleagues had spent days praising the protests. Last week Tucker Carlson hosted Maddock and thanked the Michigan Conservative Coalition activist for her service. On Saturday morning Fox & Friends prominently displayed the locations of future rallies on a map of the country—exactly what the network did years prior to promote the anti-Obama Tea Party protests. An article published on Fox’s website took the effort a step further, embedding a tweet with contact information for those who wished to join the Wisconsin Freedom Rally. On Friday conservative talk radio giant Rush Limbaugh cheered on the protesters by citing historic examples of American bravery and sacrifice, including U.S. involvement “in World War II,” adding, “This shutdown, and hunkering down in total fear, is not a hallmark of American history.”

Can we stop paying attention to these morons please? For the last 15 years they have given us nothing but bad ideas. This is just another extension of the Fox News culture war, and it’s a war that nobody asked for, or wanted. Can we declare a cease fire now please? Otherwise this virus is going to kill a whole lot more of us if we don’t stop it. But yeah let’s tell these people to shut the fuck up.

The scene in front of the Pennsylvania statehouse Monday was anything but social distanced. Hundreds of protesters gathered on the steps of the Capitol building in Harrisburg as police barricades blocked people from advancing closer to the doors.

Cars circling the building added to the demonstration. One green rig with the words "Jesus is my vaccine" spray-painted above its front fender drove down 3rd Street, its horn blaring in support.
The protests went on in spite of -- or, more accurately, because of -- Pennsylvania's statewide stay-at-home orders designed to limit the spread of the coronavirus. The demonstrators called for a swift end to the government-imposed closures of regular business and for America to "open up." Similar events have taken place in state capitals across the country, including in Michigan, Texas, Maryland, and Washington state, with upcoming protests in additional states.

The organizers have an ally in President Donald Trump, who over the weekend defended the protesters as "good people" and called on citizens in multiple states with Democratic governors to "LIBERATE" their states. More broadly, the President has been talking publicly and privately about reopening the American economy for weeks. He released his administration's plan for doing so last Thursday and has since been frustrated by what he perceived as a negative response to the proposal from the media.

Yeah they’re full blown crazy all right. But now that we know the extent of these protests, where are they coming from? And what is fueling this fire? I can guarantee that nobody is liking these lockdowns, we all had plans before the pandemic, and we will get back to those plans afterward. But for now let’s all act like we’re on the same page right? But first let’s pull take off the mask and find out who you really are. Mr. Weatherby??? And he would have got away with it too if not for those meddling kids!

Thousands of people in the United States took to the streets over the past week to demand the country's swift reopening.

While some protested from their vehicles, many others defied coronavirus social distancing guidelines as they rallied on state capitol grounds and in front of governors' homes in several states including Michigan, Kentucky, Washington, Minnesota, Virginia and Colorado.

The number of people protesting was relatively small compared with those who have abided by stay-at-home orders.

Those who protested said they were concerned that their constitutional rights and freedom were being curtailed in the fight to contain the pandemic. Many were also frustrated that they could not work or lost their jobs due to state lockdowns.

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[font size="8"]The XFL
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Wheel goes round, wheel goes round… and it lands on… Coronavirus!

Uh… ma’am? This is a Baskin Robbins. Either order some Mint Chocolate Chip or get the hell out. Spin it again! Greed! Folks, it’s no mistake that the coronavirus has turned life upside down and inside out, and everything that we once took for granted is currently gone until we figure out how to deal with. Most notably the economy has just taken a tremendous beatdown. It’s a really tremendous beatdown, really tremendous. The best. Well, not really, bad Trump impersonation. Because one of the biggest blows was the demise of Vince McMahon’s XFL. We’ve made fun of the return of the XFL a lot on this program, but come on, we didn’t even get one season thanks to the Shithead Virus.

Former XFL commissioner Oliver Luck has sued owner Vince McMahon in federal court, citing wrongful termination after McMahon's decision to shutter the league.

According to the complaint, filed last week in U.S. District Court in Connecticut, Luck received a termination letter on April 9 -- a day before McMahon laid off most of the XFL staff and three days before the league filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Luck "wholly disputes and rejects the allegations set forth in the Termination Letter and contends they are pretextual and devoid of merit," per the complaint.

McMahon is chairman and CEO of the WWE and is the owner of Alpha Entertainment, which was the parent company of the XFL.

Much of the lawsuit is redacted, citing confidentiality clauses in Luck's contract. He was hired in May 2018 for a deal reportedly worth approximately $20 million over its lifespan. Luck was not listed among creditors in the XFL's bankruptcy filings, but the lawsuit alleges breach of contract.

Now here’s where it gets weird. The WWE is still big business, and while the XFL was a great idea in theory, the low attendance and ratings were a factor, and it had yet to be determined whether or not it was a success. But then add in Coronavirus – which is killing whole economies as fast as it is killing people, and you have an utter disaster. But is it worth making Vince McMahon an economic advisor? Is it really?

President Donald Trump announced Tuesday that he is putting together an advisory group that will work to reopen the country economically. Included in the large collection of advisors is an entire section dedicated to sports, which features commissioners of the country's four major sports leagues and some other notable sports executives. The group is reportedly scheduled to take part in a call on Wednesday to discuss the effort, according to Shams Charania of The Athletic.

The Great American Economic Revival Industry Group, as the White House is calling it, features 16 sports figures:

Three of the four major professional sports leagues in the United States -- MLB, the NHL and the NBA -- have suspended their seasons as a result of the rapid spread of the coronavirus. The NBA was the first to announce its suspension after center Rudy Gobert tested positive for the respiratory disease that has become a global pandemic. Each league has expressed different expectations for when they'll return.

The NFL, the country's fourth major professional sports league and the most popular among Americans, has only needed to adjust its plan for this year's draft, to this point, with it being done virtually. Golf majors have been postponed or canceled, and the 2020 Tokyo Olympics has been postponed until next year.

Yeah sadly we may never know what a rejuvenated XFL would look like. And is that really the guy who we want as an economic advisor? Look we’re all going stir crazy right now. Even TV sucks. There’s nothing worth watching right now. But it’s also not worth doing something stupid either. Until we know what this virus is going to do long term, we may have to live with it. We could be like Dana White and have fights on a private island to escape regulations.

UFC president Dana White insists UFC 249 won’t be a one-off return to action: The fight schedule will be in full swing again beginning April 18.

But where will these fights take place? According to White, the short-term will see events go down at the same still-undisclosed location as UFC 249 on April 18. After that, though, he claims the promotion will be setting up shop on a private island.

“I locked this venue (that will host UFC 249) for two months,” White told TMZ on Monday. “I have this venue for two months, and we’re setting up shop here. We’re going to be pumping out fights every week. I’m also a day or two away from securing a private island. I have a private island that I’ve secured. We’re getting the infrastructure put in now, so I’m going to start doing the international fights, too, with the international fighters.

“I’m not going to be able to get the international fighters, all of them into the U.S., so I have a private island. I’m going to start flying them all into the private island and start doing international fights from there. So as of April 18, the UFC is back up and running. … We have all our own planes and everything we’re going to fly into the island with the fighters.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: DIY Hydroxychloroquine
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Now entering the spin zone! And it lands on… wait for it… ah hey it’s time for a clip without context!

In that case then call me Satan! Because I want the damn vaccine, damn it! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Top 10 Investigates! It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

With the coronavirus upending our society and way of life as we currently know it, the idea of self-medication becomes ever more prevalent as doctors and hospitals are being repurposed to deal with this evolving and unprecedented crisis. One such medication being touted by President Trump is an old malaria drug called hydroxychloroquine and also the regular chloroquine. But the hype of this drug from the right wing media is illustrating why we need doctors to guide us through this pandemic and why we shouldn’t listen to hype men and product pitchmen. Because this is serious and taken in the wrong capacity, the cure really is worse than the disease.

A malaria drug widely touted by President Donald Trump for treating the new coronavirus showed no benefit in a large analysis of its use in U.S. veterans hospitals. There were more deaths among those given hydroxychloroquine versus standard care, researchers reported.

The nationwide study was not a rigorous experiment. But with 368 patients, it’s the largest look so far of hydroxychloroquine with or without the antibiotic azithromycin for COVID-19, which has killed more than 171,000 people as of Tuesday.

The study was posted on an online site for researchers and has not been reviewed by other scientists. Grants from the National Institutes of Health and the University of Virginia paid for the work.

Researchers analyzed medical records of 368 male veterans hospitalized with confirmed coronavirus infection at Veterans Health Administration medical centers who died or were discharged by April 11.

About 28% who were given hydroxychloroquine plus usual care died, versus 11% of those getting routine care alone. About 22% of those getting the drug plus azithromycin died too, but the difference between that group and usual care was not considered large enough to rule out other factors that could have affected survival.

So when people are getting desperate to find a cure and get back to the way things were before the virus you’re going to get desperate. And that’s what is happening right now. Yes, there might have been a few successes with hydroxychloroquine, but there’s been more failures and the drug has yet to be proven to work long term. Which is why even Trump himself has turned down the rhetoric.

President Donald Trump and his allies in conservative media have subtly scaled down their hyping of hydroxychloroquine as a potential cure for the coronavirus, according to a POLITICO review of White House briefings and cable news coverage.

Although Trump had repeatedly promoted the decades-old malaria drug since the early days of the disease’s outbreak in the United States, his public statements regarding hydroxychloroquine have diminished significantly over the past week for reasons that remain unclear.

His most recent mention of the drug at the White House’s daily coronavirus news conferences came last Tuesday, when the president announced his administration had deployed roughly 28 million doses of hydroxychloroquine from the federal government’s Strategic National Stockpile.

Earlier at that same briefing, though, the president also trumpeted remdesivir, another experimental treatment developed by the biopharmaceutical company Gilead, and spoke positively of its “promising results.”

Yeah you probably should there, doctor. In fact the idea of hyrdroxychloroquine has become big business, even if it is a lot of false hope. And false hope is not something we need right now. But what will make this worse is that repurposing this drug takes away from people who actually need it, like lupus patients for instance. Yes, they need this drug, and thanks to Trump, they cant find it.

When Aimee Blou heard the lupus drug she has relied on for more than a decade promoted as a coronavirus antidote, she visited her pharmacist.

The 40-year-old woman from Stockton, California, was told the decades-old antimalarial drug commonly prescribed for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis was in short supply. She would get only a 30-day refill, not her typical 90-day supply.

“It’s all backordered,” the pharmacist explained to Blou on March 23. “We are not going to be able to give you these (90-day) refills."

Hydroxychloroquine, also sold under the brand name Plaquenil, has been touted by President Donald Trump, media personality Mehmet Oz and others as a COVID-19 treatment, though scientific evidence the drug is effective against the virus is lacking.

The renewed interest in chloroquine, an antimalarial drug available since 1944, and the similar drug hydroxychloroquine has made it difficult for pharmacies and hospital chains to manage a limited supplies, leaving patients like Blou fearful the shortage will harm their health.

In this case you probably should. Because this fight is going to get very ugly very quickly and this is a can of worms being opened up that you definitely shouldn’t open up. Let’s take it from someone who’s actually had the virus and actually used the drug to combat the virus. And their experiences were shall we say, less than ideal.

Tom Hanks is getting personal about the coronavirus battle that he and his wife Rita Wilson experienced.

The actor says although he didn't have symptoms as bad as Wilson, he felt "wiped" while in isolation at a hospital in Queensland, Australia, last month.

"I was wiped after 12 minutes [of exercising]. I laid down in my hospital bed and just slept," Hanks told National Defense Radio Show.

He recalled telling a medical professional who was treating him at the time, "'I just had the weirdest thing. I just tried to do basic stretches and exercises on the floor and I couldn't even get halfway through.' And she looked at me through her glasses like she was talking to the dumbest human being. And she said, 'You have Covid-19.'"

Hanks said that his wife had such bad nausea from the anti-malaria drug hydroxychloroquine, that at times she couldn't even walk.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Let’s give the wheel a spin, shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… CHANCE!

Damn. I did not pass go, guess I will have to collect my $200 later. Damn you Trump! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Guess what? We’re back! Yes, we are doing this service from an undisclosed location in an undisclosed state – you know which one I’m talking about – because apparently it’s OK for some things to be open! But remember the last time we congregated online, I told you that there was a pastor who was planning a Christian version of Woodstock? Well, there’s another event coming down the pike that aims to make this look like child’s play. And this one is going to take place in Washington, DC, the place of the unholy Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, and well, it’s a very bad idea. I’m sure that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would not approve!

End Times author Jonathan Cahn is promoting “The Return,” a day of national repentance with events around the country and on the National Mall in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 26.

Cahn explicitly connects “The Return” to the 2020 presidential election, describing the date as 40 days before the presidential election and the 400th anniversary of the sailing of the Mayflower. (Cahn’s End Times books are filled with similar historical and biblical numerology.)

“This year—2020—is crucial, as it leads to a presidential election in which the stakes are higher and the necessity of prayer more critical than before,” Cahn says in a video promoting the event as a photograph of Trump appears on-screen. “And even if the election goes in the direction of biblical values and righteousness, if we don’t see a spiritual turning, an awakening, a repentance, revival, then all the political, legal, judicial, and cultural efforts will ultimately fail or be undone,” he warns.

“We have driven God out of our public life and have called what is good evil and what is sin good,” Cahn said in an Apr. 14 press release. “America’s fall from God is not only progressing—it’s accelerating—to the point that it is no longer just a falling away, but a war against the purposes of God.”

Ooh “The Return”! Such a Biblically prophetic name isn’t it? But that brings up a point – are the lockdowns defiance against the almighty GAWD? Well, yes and no. And when your friends are John Hagee and Paula White, who really needs enemies? I mean if you’ve got a couple of televangelist hucksters and a hard-on for Revelations end times prophecies, this is what you are going to get!

A group of prominent religious-right leaders were featured on a Daystar television special on the COVID-19 virus Wednesday night. The program, which was also streamed on Pastor Robert Jeffress’s Facebook page, mixed encouragement and prayer with lavish praise for President Donald Trump. In addition to Jeffress, speakers included White House adviser Paula White, conservative Hispanic leader Samuel Rodriguez, prominent Christian Zionist John Hagee, and evangelist Jentezen Franklin. The special was hosted by Marcus and Joni Lamb, founders of Daystar, a Dallas-based global Christian network.

“Today, we’re not here to promote the president or promote Republicans,” Marcus Lamb said near the beginning of the 90-minute broadcast, but praising Trump and promoting White House talking points on the administration’s handling of the pandemic was certainly part of the agenda. Lamb and other speakers frequently pointed to scriptural admonitions to pray for those in authority.

“Whether you like the president or voted for him or not, he needs prayer,” Marcus Lamb said, prompting Joni Lamb to jump in, saying, “We have to acknowledge as Christians that this president has done so much for the church and the body of Christ.”

“People are beginning to see the president, the man that I’ve known for all this time, and how deeply embedded faith is in him,” said White, who claims in her recent book that God gave her Trump as a spiritual assignment years ago.

Except it really isn’t, Reverend. Just bullshit. Yes, we are allowed to swear in my church, I make up the rules, damn it! But in our weird, socially distant world brought on by this god forsaken virus, we need to at least have some kind of structure, right? Well, leave it to the Liberty Counsel to open the churches, and we have a date! Yes, Sunday May 3rd is the date of the great reopening! And yes, we’re all fucked in case you can’t tell.

Religious-right legal group Liberty Counsel launched a campaign Monday “calling on the churches to open and believers to start meeting again on Sunday, May 3,” which Liberty Counsel is calling ReOpen Church Sunday. The announcement came as “reopen” protests organized by right-wing activists have targeted Democratic governors with calls to ease shutdown orders.

Liberty Counsel, known for anti-LGBTQ-equality activism, has recently defended Rodney Howard-Browne, a Tampa, Florida-based pastor who was arrested at the end of March for holding services that violated COVID-19-related restrictions on public gatherings. After his arrest, Howard-Browne took his services online and has continued to use them to spread conspiracy theories. Deaths of parishioners and pastors have been linked to church gatherings that defied social distancing guidelines.

In a press release distributed Monday, Liberty Counsel connected its “ReOpen” churches campaign to the Trump administration’s recently announced phases for states to begin lifting social distancing restrictions. Liberty Counsel says churches “should include appropriate measures of sanitization and appropriate social distancing between families” and should consider a range of options, including seating outside the building and online access for higher risk individuals.

“The lockdowns have closed churches at a time of greatest need, and they must reopen to meet the burgeoning needs of the community,” Liberty Counsel founder Mat Staver said in the press release. But he seemingly undermined the thrust of his campaign with the caveat, “Each church is different and each one must assess when and how best to open.”

Yes but in the time of the Great Pandemic, you don’t need to be at church that badly! And I say this a man of GAWD! You can still be at church, it’s just not the church you’re used to. And this is not permanent. And you are not being targeted. Until things get better, we’re all on the same page, and I’m pretty sure that’s what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want! But there might be some good news in all this madness, Jim Bakker needs money! And LAWRD does he need it ever!

On his television program today, End Times pastor Jim Bakker begged viewers to send in donations by check so he can keep his ministry afloat and not have to declare bankruptcy.

As Right Wing Watch reported last week, Bakker is facing a dire financial crisis as a result of his network being unable to process credit card transactions ever since it found itself facing various legal problems for promoting the silver solution it sold as a possible cure for the COVID-19 coronavirus.

“I’m just sad to see what’s happening to America,” Bakker said. “We are living in the final days, and if we go the wrong direction, America is through. You have to use a check [to donate or purchase products]. Your products are going to come to you. Every one of them will come right to your house, and if we can’t, we are going to refund. I will sell parts of the buildings at Morningside in the long run if you give me a chance. Don’t let me have to file for bankruptcy.”

“They’re already bleeding us to death, and now we’re going to have to pay lawyers that will bleed you to death,” Bakker continued. “I know [my critics] are watching me right now, and they’re having a ball. They’re having a ball, and they’re saying, ‘Wow, we’ve whipped Jim Bakker finally’ … I’ll tell you what, you all may want my head on a platter, and you may get it, but I’ll be gone to Heaven, and you’re not going to win. You’re not going to win because I’m 80 years old, and I don’t need to win. I need to please God, and that’s what I’m going to do the rest of my life.”

Now I would go to a real life church if it were like that! Well, until next week we will be meeting again online until it’s safe to do so! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: We Report, You Die!
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Oh it’s a clip without context!

Yeah I think Jim doth protest too much here. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Beating A Dead Horse!

Fox News, you got some ‘splainin to do! So there’s no question that the economy is tanking because of the awful coronavirus that is spreading. But those on the right, apparently want to kill us! Did I say “kill us”? I meant that they want to sacrifice us for the greater good of the economy! Now here’s the thing- this talking point that has emerged is absolutely fucking horrifying. As you may have guessed. Until there’s a vaccine, there’s no way out of this without seeing numbers for the virus absolutely skyrocket, and Fox News is leading the charge. They’re already staging protests across the country with the hope of overturning the lockdowns. But they’re turning the crazy extra hard in the last week especially. Let’s run down some of their greatest hits.

Another celebrity “doctor” is suffering from foot-in-mouth disease.

Now that many parts of the country have spent more than a month sheltering in place amid the COVID-19 pandemic, a growing chorus is calling for reopening the American economy, which is stirring up arguments of how soon is too soon. And the latest voice entering the fray is TV personality and psychologist Phil “Dr. Phil” McGraw, who compared the death toll of a global pandemic that is still peaking to the annual number of deaths from … swimming.

Contrary to McGraw’s comments, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration reported that 36,560 people were killed in traffic crashes last year. What’s more, the CDC has reported 3,536 fatal unintentional drowning incidents (non-boating related) each year between 2005 and 2014 — a sobering number, for sure, but far short of the 360,000 a year figure cited by McGraw.

But the CDC does indeed estimate that cigarette smoking causes 480,000 deaths a year, including deaths from secondhand smoke.

McGraw also went on to hazard a guess that the lockdown will “actually create more death across time than the actual virus will itself” due to poverty and loneliness.

Why the hell do these guys get asked for advice anyways? Yeah Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, and even Dr. Drew. So these guys may be MDs (except for Dr. Phil), but there’s no way they should be asked for their opinion on anything! Here’s the thing in this day and age, if you say something stupid, you’re gonna wind up apologizing for saying that stupid thing. Which is exactly what Dr. Phil did.

If you’re seeking an unbiased opinion on an urgent national matter, probably the last place you want to go is Fox News — and if you’re looking for a qualified medical professional to speak on said matter, the last person you should turn to is Dr. Phil. Luckily for the public, a Thursday night episode of Laura Ingraham’s show offered the best of both worlds.

Professional charlatan Dr. Phil is garnering intense criticism for arguing in favor of ending state lockdowns in order to stimulate the economy, comparing COVID-19 deaths to car crash fatalities and swimming pool drownings in the process.

“People are dying from the coronavirus. I get that,” the good doctor generously conceded on Ingraham’s show. “But the fact of the matter is, 45,000 people a year die from automobile accidents, 480,000 from cigarettes, 360,000 a year from swimming pools, but we don’t shut the country down for that.” At least two of these statistics are actually wrong; per the National Safety Council, 38,800 people in the U.S. died from car crashes last year, and per the CDC, there are a little more than 3,500 nonboating-related drowning deaths a year in the United States, not all of which are specifically in swimming pools.

Yeah that’s pretty much the manta at Fox News right now – they’re very actively trying to kill us in the middle of the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century. So how did Fox News get away with escalating the propaganda? Well we saw who their experts are. Now we are going to start seeing COVID deniers and even worse – COVID truthers.

PragerU’s Candace Owens has been a prolific conspiracy theorist and spreader of misinformation during the COVID-19 pandemic. Owens has continuously spread misinformation about the virus, claiming hospitals are inflating death numbers for financial gain, downplaying the threat, and lashing out at social distancing and mitigation efforts.

On April 14th, Owens was a guest on Laura Ingraham's Fox News show to discuss “racializing coronavirus.”

As the national death toll of the coronavirus escalates, Owens has continued to downplay the crisis and insist that there are nefarious motivations behind the national attempt to mobilize Americans to flatten the curve.

On April 6th Owens claimed that it was “ironic” certain states, including New York, Connecticut, and California were claiming to be the hardest hit, and that there is “a financial incentive” for states to inflate the number of coronavirus deaths.

As the national and global death tolls rose, Owens used comparisons to different historical events to downplay the threat of COVID-19.

Here’s the thing I want to know – why is anyone turning to the advice of anti-vaxxers like Candice Owens during the worst pandemic not seen in an entire century? That would be like asking someone who’s lactose intolerant what their favorite ice cream flavor is. And by the way remember when Fox News kept bringing up death panels and pre-exisitng conditions during the Obamacare debate way back when? It’s kind of like that now in the opposite direction. There are death panels, and they’re coming to kill you!

Many right-wing media outlets — from Fox News to white AM talk radio — have promoted a great deal of misinformation about the coronavirus pandemic, which radio host Rush Limbaugh infamously compared to “the common cold.” But not only all right-wing media outlets have downplayed the severity of coronavirus: The Bulwark has offered an abundance of quality reporting on the pandemic. And Bulwark journalist Jonathan V. Last, this week, slams some of the bizarre contradictions that have been coming from coronavirus truthers.

“I’ve been consistently boggled by the loose affiliation of coronavirus-truthers, America Firsters, Catholic rad-trads, and economic boosters who have come together over the last month to insist that: (1) COVID-19 isn’t so bad. (2) The real problem is the economy and the lunacy of shutting America down,” Last asserts in an article published on Thursday

Coronavirus truthers, the conservative journalist adds, are demanding that the U.S. economy reopen and insist that social distancing is going too far.

“These people all seem to have different reasons for wanting America to ‘reopen,’” Last explains. “The only thing they have in common is that they all — from the Taliban Catholics to the alt-right trolls, from the conspiracy cranks to Peter Navarro — love them some Trump.”

Last adds, however, that coronavirus truthers overlook the fact that Trump himself supports social distancing for the rest of April — and that Dr. Anthony Fauci, who many of them hate, is part of Trump’s coronavirus task force.

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Dr. Oz
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy stop!! Intermission! We’re going to take a quick break so I can feed my dog. I’ll give you some music while you wait.

Spin it again. Hey it’s time for This Fucking Guy!

This week’s This Fucking Guy is Dr. Oz. Yes, you know Dr. Oz, he’s the TV quack who hawks unproven and potentially dangerous protein supplements as if they’re actual medicine! And this is precisely the kind of reason why you shouldn’t ask for anyone’s advice for someone that became famous because they appeared on Oprah. Oprah has been known to hawk some bad medicine on her show. Just ask Dr. Phil! So here’s what is happening with this. But here’s the thing – when a brand new disease strikes, we have no idea what is going to happen or how this thing is going to play out. It could go away in August. Or it could come back with a raging force in September and last the rest of the year. But one thing we know for absolute certain- never listen to a guy like Dr. Oz! Or Dr. Phil. Or Dr. Drew.

Over the past decade, celebrity wellness brands have helped to frame how we talk and think about health. But now that we are in the grip of a deadly pandemic, their shameless marketing of healing crystals, supplements and cleanses (aka unhealthy crash diets) comes across as especially ludicrous and exploitative. Now more than ever, the public wants and needs good science from trusted sources.

In some ways it feels like the volume has been turned down on the celebrity wellness pontificators. (Indeed, Gwyneth Paltrow's pseudoscience spewing Netflix show, "The Goop Lab," debuted just three months ago but already feels like it is from a different, more New Age-friendly, epoch.) But in reality, they are still playing a large and less-than-constructive role in the public discourse surrounding COVID-19. Arguably, they are actually making things worse than they were before the public health crisis.

Take Dr. (Mehmet) Oz. The celebrity surgeon is suddenly everywhere, especially on Fox News, where he has been (mis)advising America and President Donald Trump on hydroxychloroquine, an anti-malaria drug that the president has been pushing as a treatment for the coronavirus, despite the many concerns of health professionals. Touting the unproven benefits of the drug without talking about the mixed science and its potentially deadly side effects is "inexcusable," a Mayo Clinic heart expert told NBC News recently.

This hasn't stopped Oz, however. On Thursday, he promoted a "self-reported" hydroxychloroquine clinical trial on Fox News without the vital caveat that it was designed only for patients so sick that they were already near death. And that this type of research is far from definitive (we need well-done clinical trials). It is exactly this kind of irresponsible commentary that led to a man to mistakenly ingest chloroquine phosphate (thinking it would prevent the coronavirus) and die. (Oz also implied reopening schools could lead to people dying but might be an acceptable "trade-off" — he later said he "misspoke."

But wait, there’s more! Yes, leave it to a pair of TV hacks to turn potential cures for this shitty virus into a late night TV infomercial. And who guessed that two guys who live and die by their TV appearances would hawk the same cures? I’m shocked, shocked!! And by the way when you’re looking for cures in the middle of the worst pandemic in an entire century, you don’t want to hear words like “maybe” or “almost” or “miracle”. Because as the survey might suggest, that’s complete 100% bullshit.

Business is booming for only a few industries—video conferencing, hand sanitizer, and…elderberry syrup manufacturers. In Washington, hit early and hard, a pair of siblings now work 70 hour weeks filling orders for their immune-boosting formulation, up four times from February. In Texas, a kombucha shop is selling out of elderberry concentrate and elderberry gummies. Across the United States, panicked consumers have cleaned out major retailers, who also report shortages of other “immune-boosting supplements,” among them Vitamin C, zinc, and Vitamin D.

It makes sense to see these purchases as irrational and possibly dangerous: a waste of money when money is scarce, and unscientific when respect for scientific authorities is at a premium. The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the division of the National Institutes of Health tasked with evaluating “alternative” medicine, put out a warning with a key takeaway in bold print:

When Dr. Oz tells a national TV audience that supplements “may be beneficial in shortening the duration” of infection—elderberry among those he recommends—he’s in the same camp as televangelist Jim Bakker hawking “Silver Sol Liquid.”

Shut it all down, just like the FTC shut down Bakker. As health policy expert Timothy Caulfield argues in a blistering opinion piece, there should be no tolerance for pseudoscientific cures that drain resources and might kill you. We should condemn those engaged in “leveraging the fear and uncertainty surrounding the outbreak to sell products and ill-conceived health theories,” whether they’re faith healers, Dr. Oz, or supplement sellers—and we should strive to educate those who fall for their sales pitches so they are no longer vulnerable.

Seriously, at this point I’d trust Dr. Nick over Dr. Oz. But really you think that the idea of selling unproven supplements might be a bad idea? Especially in the age where actual health care is ridiculously expensive and more people are choosing to self-medicate, you really don’t want to hear the words “unproven” next to a medication you might plan to buy. Nor do you want to hear the words “unholy alliance”. Actually, you never want to hear the words “unholy alliance” on anything.

Of course President Trump is getting advice about the pandemic from Mehmet Oz, and of course Dr. Oz is eager to provide it. They’re a match made in ratings-obsessed heaven.

Oz, mind you, is not a virologist. Not an epidemiologist. His actual specialty — cardiothoracic surgery — isn’t the most immediately relevant to the coronavirus. But his real specialty is using medicine as a means to maximum public exposure. He wasn’t about to let this dark chapter go to waste.

Over recent weeks he has made a blizzard of appearances on Fox News, giving interviews to hosts not exactly known for the dissemination of responsible information. I mean Sean Hannity, Lou Dobbs, the Trump-besotted pep squad on “Fox & Friends.”

And part of what the good doctor has done on these showcases is promote the anti-malarial treatment hydroxychloroquine as a potential wonder drug for Covid-19. An article by CNN Business’s Oliver Darcy and Kevin Liptak on Tuesday said that these plugs had piqued the president’s interest in the treatment, which he frequently mentions — rather, moons over — at his daily coronavirus news conferences. And The Times has reported that Oz also pitched hydroxychloroquine in conversations with members of the Trump administration.

So between hawking hydroxychloroquine and useless protein supplements, Dr. Oz is treading some very dangerous waters here. But in case you’re wondering about the kind of effect that Dr. Oz has on hawking some serious bullshit, there’s actually a thing in the food and dietary supplement industry about the “Dr. Oz” effect. He’s not really a doctor, he’s more like a marketer who hawks medically adjacent products.

“Ten years ago, we used to talk about the Dr. Oz effect. That would usually be covered by two or three products,” Emme says. “Now we have hundreds of products that have massive demand.”

At Maypro Ventures, President Dan Lifton can point to February numbers as almost quaint. Through its Quality of Life finished product brand, sales of immunity products, led by the Kinoko AHCC mushroom blend, were up 28%. He knows sales will be higher, far higher, for March. “We are stocking up in an unprecedented way,” Lifton says.

On the ingredient supplier side, Lifton says Maypro is seeing a dramatic “uptick” for herbs such as echinacea and astralagus and that interest in the company’s Morinaga BB536 probiotic is suddenly trending. Lifton predicts a “permanent expansion” for the immunity category, but he expects every category will grow in the short and long term. “I think the gateway drug phenomenon will hold,” he says, explaining that customers will be drawn in by immunity and follow that interest into other categories. “Use of multivitamins will go up. Ultimately, the biggest driver for supplement use is prevention.”

Len Monheit, CEO at Trust Transparency Center, agrees that immunity and prevention are just the beginning of the success story. “Immunity is going to lead the charge, and it’s already exploding. But you’re going to see your multis do well,” Monheit says. Other ingredients like ashwagandha could be less obvious hits. “You’re going to have stress, and you’re going to have energy [do well] because these are challenging times.”

Yeah that just seems like the kind of thing that would burn down the emergency room. So more product hawking and less doctoring, that’s Dr. Oz, this week’s:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!! Oh a clip without context!

Uh… have you seen the news lately John? Nobody is making money! So that makes your little theory there officially moot. Spin it again!! Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Yes, sadly, even the pandemic has not stopped people from being the ridiculously dumb animals that they are. So with that in mind, let’s start with this story out of Iowa. OK look… look. People we really need to calm when it comes to where the virus actually is. Because there’s a huge steaming load of misinformation out there when it the coronavirus. So naturally people are going to be confused as to where the virus actually is and how it gets tramsitted. But if you think it’s on your drugs, well, you might be on them.

Worried that her methamphetamine was contaminated, an Iowa woman drove to police headquarters and asked cops to check her stash for the coronavirus, according to court records.

Shawn Salmen, 53, arrived at the Sioux City Police Department Sunday afternoon and reportedly admitted to officers that she recently used meth. Which appeared obvious since the paranoid Salmen was sweating profusely and acting erratically, cops say.

While speaking with police, Salmen “was requesting officers to check her narcotics for the COVID-19 Virus,” a criminal complaint states.

During a subsequent pat down of Salmen and a search of her truck, cops recovered 14.4 grams of meth, marijuana, and “a large amount of drug paraphernalia.”

Well that’s one way to do it! Next up – church. You know even religion is hurting in this trying time when there’s a killer virus that has just ravaged everything we care about. But that doesn’t exempt them from being dumb. Even a state-sanctioned religion like the Church Of England isn’t exempt from bringing on the stupid. Or a misfortune. We’ll let you be the judge.

A church was presented with signs reading "Chris is risen" after a mix up at the printers.

Acomb Parish Church, in York, had ordered four banners saying 'Christ is Risen' but the 'T' was missed off the finished article.

However, assistant Curate Ned Lunn said the error was discovered before the signs were delivered.

A BBC Radio York Facebook post has been shared more than 3,000 times, prompting one person to reply 'More T vicar?'

Mr Lunn said: "I'm so glad the customer spotted the mistake. It'll save a bit of embarrassment and a lot of confusion.

Praise Chris!!!! Next up – of course our good friends in the Sunshine State, scheduled to go up next in our 2020 Stupidest State tournament – is never exempt from bringing on the crazy. I mean when you live in warm climates on beaches surrounded by oil, with excessive booze and crystal meth easily available, you’re bound to get some stupid idiots. Such is the case here.

A Florida Woman placed plastic Easter eggs stuffed with pornographic images and other items in the mailboxes of scores of homeowners, according to cops who say they collared the “deranged offender” last night.

Investigators allege that Abril Cestoni, 42, delivered the X-rated material over the past several days, resulting in her arrest on 11 counts of distributing obscene items.

A charging affidavit alleges that Cestoni, seen above, stuffed mailboxes with Easter eggs and a pamphlet containing “incoherent rants about local religious clergy” and “multiple pornographic images.”

After a homeowner last night called 911 to report a suspicious person placing something in her mailbox, cops pulled over Cestoni’s car. Upon being read her rights, Cestoni reportedly admitted to distributing the plastic eggs and the pamphlets. Acknowledging she had distributed obscene material, Cestoni claimed she included the images “because homosexuals are allowed to teach in the church.”

Ah, that most elusive of dishes – the fabrege egg salad! Next up – we go to that most socially distant of US states, Michigan’s famous Upper Peninsula! Yes, while the Uppers (as they call themselves) rarely make the news, when they do so, they do so in spectacular fashion! You call that a knife? Well I got a chainsaw!!

A man and a woman, chased off by a Houghton County homeowner defending his property with a chainsaw, face first-degree home invasion charges.

Forty-year-old Sasha Joy Anderson of South Range and 32-year-old Christopher William Darmofal of Warren were arraigned Monday morning in Houghton County District Court.

First-degree home invasion is a felony with a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison.

Darmofal is also charged with carrying a concealed weapon, felonious assault and malicious destruction of personal property.

The Houghton County Sheriff's Office says around 4:00 a.m. Saturday in South Range, Darmofal pulled a knife on a man inside his home. The man defended himself with a chainsaw, and Darmofal and Anderson ran away. Deputies found them at another home in South Range.

Investigators say no one was hurt. Anderson's bond was set at $300 cash. Darmofal's was set at $5,000 cash. Their preliminary hearings will be set within three weeks.

Yeah it stinks like fish in here all right! Finally this week – Florida governor Ron DeSantis might possibly be one of the dumbest people in the country and he’s certainly in the running for one of the worst governors of all time. So of course we’re all going stir crazy in this time of isolation and quarantine during the great pandemic. But Ron DeSantis has his priorities totally out of whack. Beaches? OK to open! Schools? Must remain closed!

Hundreds of people swarmed Florida's beaches Saturday, just one day after Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) announced they would be allowed to open at local leaders' discretion.

Images of people flocking to beaches in the Jacksonville, Fla., area went viral on Twitter on Saturday, prompting backlash from users on the platform and the hashtag "#FloridaMorons."

DeSantis on Friday allowed cities with beachfronts to begin opening their beaches at their own discretion. The same day, Jacksonville Mayor Lenny Curry (R) announced that Duval County’s beaches would reopen.

However, the easing of restrictions still banned people from bringing towels and chairs — to prevent large congregations — and limited the hours. People are encouraged to go on walks or swim and remain six feet or farther apart from one another to maintain social distancing.

“This can be the beginning of the pathway back to normal life,” Curry said. “Please respect and follow these limitations. Stay within the guidelines for your safety as well as for the safety of your neighbors.”

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State Round 2 Week 1: Gun Nut Championships
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Let’s give the wheel one final spin this week! And it lands on… no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Ah, it’s another one of our famous clips without context!

Funny I don’t remember the Constitution being written by god. I must have fallen asleep during that lecture in 8th grade history. Spin it again! It’s time for Stupidest State 2020!

Welcome back to the 2020 Stupidest State! Just to recap last week was the last week of Round 1 and Week 4 was quite the stunner! We were in New Orleans where it was a battle of the 3s and 4s when over in the Family Values Conference, Mike Pence’s Indiana upset Jim Jones and his heavily favored Ohio squad with a thrilling last second buzzer beater! Meanwhile, over in the Batshit Conference, Idaho hangs on against surging South Carolina to play Virginia for the Batshit Crown! Now, since nearly all of America’s sports venues are closed for the foreseeable future, we are doing things simulated from here through the championship. Yes, simulated! This week, we’re in Chicago at the home of the Blackhawks and Bulls, the United Center, for the 2nd round action! #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico! Let’s go to the floor for more!

[font size="4"]Gun Nut Championship: Florida Vs New Mexico:[/font]

[font size="4"]Florida:[/font]

Florida is notoriously famous for having one of the single highest concentrations of guns, gun shops, and gun conventions in all of America. But since the Great Pandemic, gun conventions are completely closed to the public for the time being. Shame. Where are Florida’s Gun Nuts going to get their illegal backdoor weapons purchase fix? Well there’s plenty of alternate opportunities for gun purchases in the Sunshine State. And in fact, since the pandemic happened, gun manufacturers should actually revel in the fact that they are doing gangbusters business.

Guns purchases in Florida peaked in the middle of the month as the coronavirus fears gained momentum, and more guns were sold in March than any March in the last decade.

Dallas, who didn’t want to give us her last name, is a first time gun buyer.

“I believe in the second amendment, and the right to protect yourself,” said Dallas.

And while she says it isn’t all about the virus, sales at Kevin’s in the state's capital peaked in mid-March and have been steady since.

“It is another factor that makes me think, 'Should I be prepared if someone were to come and infringe on my rights,'” said Dallas.

"It’s a lot of first time buyers. People just wanting to protect themselves I think. They don’t know the outcome that lives in the future and just trying to get ahead of things. Supplies are drying up a little bit,” said Brandon Long, the gun manager at Kevin’s.

Bill and Jeanette Busby aren’t first time buyers, nor are they preppers.

“We’re going to go to the range and practice, and give her a little safety with it. But we’re not real big in guns,” said Bill.

Yeah that might be the sensible thing to do right now – just cut Florida off and let them sail into the Gulf Of Mexico. Maybe take Georgia with you. Sorry, Cuba! And let me get this straight – you’re buying a gun during one of the worst disasters in US history and you’re not a doomsday prepper? No, you’re a doomsday prepper, let’s not kid ourselves. At least with no gun show loophole, they’re choosing to get their guns legally. You know, tyranny and all.

As news of a worldwide coronavirus pandemic broke, many rushed to buy toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and guns.

"We had two to three weeks of an Armageddon-type of set up," said Alex Shkop, owner of Guns & Range Training Center in West Palm Beach.

For weeks, long lines could be seen outside gun stores in West Palm Beach with armed guards or law enforcement standing by to help with crowd control.

Numerous gun shop owners told WPTV Contact 5 on background that many purchasers were first-time gun owners.

"We had people that were basically openly admitting that they have never owned a gun, they have never used a gun," said Shkop. "They were purchasing firearms and they were asking questions like how to use them and how to take care of them. A lot of first-time buyer questions."

And yeah everyone, their mums, their dads, their pets, and their kids are packing heat in the Sunshine State. We kid all the time, but when you see stories like this, you know that things are really fucked up in Florida. And our extremely lax and loose gun laws in the world can even allow animals to get guns. Yup, you read that right!

Fla. - Florida authorities tracking a stolen car also discovered a little something unexpected — a baby alligator being kept as a pet.

Seminole County Sheriff Dennis Lemma held a press conference Friday to announce details of the arrest made the day before. A deputy ran a license plate number and discovered a car was stolen.

The deputy trailed the car to a Lake Mary home and stopped a separate car that was attempting to leave the driveway. Deputies found guns, heroin and cocaine in the car, according to the Orlando Sentinel.

Inside the house, investigators found the baby alligator along with more drugs and guns. The sheriff’s office posted photos on its Facebook page.

[font size="4"]New Mexico[/font]

We saw in Florida how they have one of the highest concentrations of guns in this country. Now how are they matched with a state that has one of the highest concentrations of drugs in this country? Well, it’s a pretty solid match. And it’s no secret that the Great Pandemic has turned things upside down and inside out. Now let’s look at the exact opposite of Florida – New Mexico. While New Mexico may be underdogs in this tournament, their gun nuts mean business. So much that they are planning to sue the governor over gun shop closures.

The National Rifle Association and other pro-gun organizations on Friday filed a lawsuit against Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham for closing gun stores in New Mexico during the COVID-19 crisis.

The NRA and the other plaintiffs filed the case in U.S. District Court in Albuquerque, claiming the governor, as well as the state Department of Health and Secretary Kathyleen Kunkel, violated citizens’ Second and 14th amendment rights for not considering firearm stores “essential.”

As a result of Lujan Grisham’s order, all firearm-specific retailers and gun ranges in New Mexico are closed.

“It’s very important that, even in a situation such as this, people are able to exercise their basic and most fundamental rights,” said Cody Wisniewski of Mountain States Legal Foundation, one of the firms representing the plaintiffs.

Lujan Grisham extended the closure of many in-person businesses on Monday, including firearm stores, until April 30 in order “to minimize the spread of COVID-19.”

You tell ‘em Homer! What these gun nuts and religious zealots don’t understand is that these closures are just temporary! Temporary! They’re not permanent. And just like Florida, New Mexico’s gun owners are also having their fair share of problems, like inflated background checks. Well, you can’t say that the system isn’t getting used or anything!

Similar to many other states, New Mexico had a record-setting month in March for firearm background checks amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

The FBI performed 24,571 background checks in the state last month through its National Instant Criminal Background Check System, which does not account for how many guns each person buys.

The number exceeds that of any month in New Mexico since the FBI began tracking firearm background checks in 1998.

When compared with the number of background checks during the same time last year, the number had risen by 45%.

Gun stores around the state reported that sales skyrocketed after Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham declared a public health emergency on March 11, with many running low on different types of firearms and ammunition.

New Mexico also shares a border with actual Mexico. And remember two years ago when the migrant issue on the Border was a huge thing and there was that guy who formed his own militia to round up immigrants? Well it backfired and he got arrested, and last week he was finally sentenced. Yes, he got his just desserts.

A New Mexico man who had been described as a "commander" of a group accused of detaining migrants was sentenced to nearly two years in prison Wednesday for illegally possessing guns, prosecutors said.

Larry Mitchell Hopkins, 70, was sentenced to 21 months for being a felon in possession of a firearm, the U.S. Attorney's Office for the District of New Mexico said in a statement.

Hopkins pleaded guilty in January under a plea agreement and admitted to having possessed nine pistols, rifles and shotguns on Nov. 28, 2017, in San Juan County, the U.S. attorney's office said.

Hopkins is barred from owning guns because of previous convictions in Michigan, Oregon and South Dakota.


[font size="4"]And The Winner Is:[/font]

No doubt about it, Florida utterly routed New Mexico and they have secured the first spot in the Final Four to play for the crown! Final score: 94 – 66. Florida - cut that net, guys! You earned it!

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re live at the home of the Chicago Blackhawks, the United Center in Chicago, IL for the Family Values Conference championships! #1 Alabama takes on #4 Indiana for the Family Values crown!

See you next week!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Apr 22, 2020, 05:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Well hello everyone. First off congratulations to Modern Family for 11 seasons and Schitts Creek for 6 seasons. Those are monumental achievements. I normally would congratulate the winner of the NCAA tournament this year, but there was no NCAA tournament this year. Fuck you coronavirus. his is our third consecutive home show. Yeah we will be doing these for a while until the pandemic and social distancing and isolation is over. So what’s there to do? Where do we go? The fact of the matter is that nobody likes to be isolated and this is getting ridiculous finding things to do while you’re holed up. And we, for one, can’t wait to get back to doing our full and proper live show. And I’m sure there’s a lot of live shows who want to do the same. But that said let’s talk about happier news before it’s all virus, all the time. So yesterday was both National Beer Day *AND* World Health Day. Is it any coincidence that these two days happen to fall on the same day? If it’s quarantine season then we got to do something to keep us occupied until this whole thing is over, so we might as well be drinking. And how – at least one industry we don’t have to worry about in the age of pandemic is the alcohol industry – they are thriving. Because what else is there to do when you can’t go outside? Let’s drink! And hey, I will gladly raise a toast to that! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he delves into Trump’s favorite news network called OAN, and if you haven’t heard of them, they are pretty much a preview of what state run TV is going to look like:

Taking the first slot this week is SCOTUS. Yes, we have to talk about the Wisconsin decision that’s putting a lot of lives at stake because our voting system is so broken and well, it’s pure fucking evil.In the number two slot his week is Donald Trump (2). Fitting that Trump is taking the number two slot this week since everything he touches turns to shit. So there’s rumors that he might go golfing, while he sticks Jared Kushner in charge of the pandemic response. WHY?????? At slot #3 this week is The People Who Fire The Whistleblowers (3) which includes Trump firing Navy captain Brett Crozier who just informed his superiors about COVID taking over his ship, and Amazon firing a warehouse employee on Long Island who threatened a walk out. Why? Taking the 4th slot this week, there’s people making money from the pandemic, and there’s Senators who knew ahead of time that things would get this bad. So who did and how did they do it? At slot #5 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and why is heartburn drug Zantac being recalled? This seems like a bad time to be doing this. Taking the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, Christians are defying stay-at-home orders and congregating in large groups, but one pastor in Pennsylvania is set to take things to the next level. And our resident pastor is going to tell you why this is a really bad idea. At slot #7 this week, we have a new edition of our favorite segment Beating A Dead Horse (7) – after alt metal band Trapt went off the rails and full MAGA, they are suing their parody accounts that have sprung up on Twitter. Is this OK? Maybe not. Taking the #8 slot, our new segment Conspiracy Corner (8) returns for yet another go round, and this week, why are right wingers trying to film their local hospitals in an effort to discredit the media? I got news for you, they don’t have time for your bullshit! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new “I Need A Drink”. And this week, after a string of some incredibly bizarre and stupid crimes in the wake of the virus, is it safe to say that Jersey is the new Florida? Probably. Finally this week it’s time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 4! This week it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina to play Virginia in the finals! Meanwhile, over in the Family Values conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana to play reigning champion Alabama! The Elite 8 is beginning to shape up! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]SCOTUS
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In case you haven’t heard, we are in the middle of the worst public health crisis that hasn’t been seen in a century. And the last thing you want to do is put people’s lives in danger. That’s what the people of Wisconsin have been suing over. See, they had an election this week where a vital state supreme court seat was at stake. Now, Trump has been actively pimping out for the incumbent saying that he will protect your 2nd amendment rights. Now in the age of pandemic, guns really should be like last on the list of things to protect right? Well, we live in backwards fuck town, and we have this to deal with. So why is this election so important?

In Milwaukee, citizens were forced to choose between following public health orders to stay home and stand in line for hours at one of just five polling places the city kept open amid the coronavirus pandemic.

Across the state along the St. Croix River, a state senator who is her county’s chief medical examiner brought a homemade face mask to the polls because she didn’t want to take a surgical mask from her co-workers who will have to inspect the bodies of people who die from the coronavirus.

And everywhere in between, Wisconsinites reported an array of problems with absentee ballots. Some didn’t arrive, some couldn’t be legally witnessed and others were afraid to venture outside their homes to return their ballots by Tuesday night’s deadline.

It added up to an election almost certain to be tarred as illegitimate and contested by whichever side loses — especially if the conservative State Supreme Court Justice Daniel Kelly wins a full 10-year term.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So this is one of the worst choices that you could possibly make, like which half of the shit sandwich tastes the best. I would personally pick the left half because it has mustard on it. Because a shit sandwich with mustard on it, is still a shit sandwich. And you know how bad this is going to get? Well I will happily put on a hazmat suit to vote for Joe Biden. Especially after this.

Amid the global coronavirus outbreak and over the objections of a governor who tried to stop it at the last minute, Wisconsin held its election yesterday for the Democratic presidential nomination, state Supreme Court and several local offices. We won’t have actual results until Monday at the earliest, but at this point, we do know that the election experienced a number of setbacks.

Across the state, a shortage of poll workers led to the closure and consolidation of many polling places, which resulted in extremely long lines on Election Day. For example, Milwaukee — a city of almost 600,000 people — had just five polling places open (in normal circumstances, it would have 180 polling places). As a result, wait times in Milwaukee averaged one and a half to two hours, with some voters waiting as long as two and a half hours to cast their ballots. In Green Bay, a city of 105,000 that downsized from 31 polling places to just two, some voters waited nearly three hours. Long lines were also reported in the Milwaukee suburb of Waukesha, which was forced to consolidate to one polling place for its population of 70,000. But in cities where fewer polling places closed, there seemed to be fewer hiccups. For example, Madison (a city less than half Milwaukee’s size) kept 66 polling places open (compared with 92 normally), and there were no major reports of lines at them.

Everywhere, though, election officials took extraordinary measures to keep voters safe. Plexiglass barriers were erected at many polling places to separate poll workers from voters. And in Fitchburg, a suburb of Madison, poll workers were instructed to wipe down voting equipment every 15 minutes. In the small city of Lake Mills, voter Jonathan McLaughlin told FiveThirtyEight he was given hand sanitizer on his way into the polling place, and each voter was given a fresh Bic pen with which to vote (they were told to either keep it or throw it away when they were done). And according to Kelly Westlund, who was working the polls in Ashland, a city of 8,000 in northern Wisconsin, she and her team sanitized their hands and the voting equipment regularly and made sure voters kept at least six feet apart. All the poll workers in Ashland were also provided with masks from local hat manufacturer Stormy Kromer.

Yes, this is literally playing with fire here. And you know how much fire this is? Well picture a burning building. Now picture fucking Godzilla attacking that burning building while pouring kerosene on it and sulfur reigns down on it. That’s about the extent of the severity of this. And assuming this coronavirus drags on all year guess what? they’re setting things up so they can steal the election in November from Biden! That’s where this is headed. The dominoes are in place.

Three weeks ago, I wrote that the real threat to the 2020 election is not that Donald Trump will use the coronavirus to try to cancel it but that Republicans will try to steal it, state by state, county by county. In an election in which a record number of people may attempt to vote by absentee ballot, Republican state officials can choose simply to mail ballots to people in counties that traditionally vote for Republicans—and not mail enough ballots to the far more populous counties that traditionally vote for Democrats. In so doing, they can slant the general election toward Donald Trump and other Republicans running for election without Trump having to go through all the bother of declaring himself “dictator for life,” which might spook Mitt Romney.

Last night, the Supreme Court gave Republicans the go-ahead to proceed with that scheme. You don’t need an army to cross the Rubicon when you have henchmen on the Supreme Court willing to do all the dirty work.

The case before the Supreme Court involved today’s federal primary election in Wisconsin. The Democratic governor of the state, Tony Evers, asked the Republican-controlled state Legislature to move back the date of the election, like so many other states have done, amid concerns over Covid-19. The Legislature said no, deliberating for all of 17 seconds on the matter. Evers then asked the Legislature to mail absentee ballots to every voter in Wisconsin. The Republicans said no. Yesterday afternoon, Evers issued an executive order moving the election to June 9. But the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Supreme Court overruled him by nightfall.

Yes, holy shit indeed! If the fact that they didn’t even spend a full minute debating this reckless disregard for life should fucking terrify you, then nothing will! Just how evil is this decision? Well it’s pretty damn evil and everyone from Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Bernie Sanders to Biden himself has been decrying this decision because it will put people’s lives at stake. The coronavirus is nothing to fuck around with, and SCOTUS put party over country with this one. Well guess what? COVID-19 doesn’t care which side you vote for. We’re all sitting ducks, and this made it worse.

On Monday, by a 5–4 vote, the U.S. Supreme Court approved one of the most brazen acts of voter suppression in modern history. The court will nullify the votes of citizens who mailed in their ballots late—not because they forgot, but because they did not receive ballots until after Election Day due to the coronavirus pandemic. As Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote in dissent, the court’s order “will result in massive disenfranchisement.” The conservative majority claimed that its decision would help protect “the integrity of the election process.” In reality, it calls into question the legitimacy of the election itself.

Wisconsin has long been scheduled to hold an election on April 7. There are more than 3,800 seats on the ballot, and a crucial state Supreme Court race. But the state’s ability to conduct in-person voting is imperiled by COVID-19. Thousands of poll workers have dropped out for fear of contracting the virus, forcing cities to shutter dozens of polling places. Milwaukee, for example, consolidated its polling locations from 182 to five, while Green Bay consolidated its polling locations from 31 to two. Gov. Tony Evers asked the Republican-controlled Legislature to postpone the election, but it refused. So he tried to delay it himself with an executive order on Monday. But the Republican-dominated state Supreme Court reinstated the election, thereby forcing voters to choose between protecting their health and exercising their right to vote.

Because voters are rightfully afraid of COVID-19, Wisconsin has been caught off guard by a surge in requests for absentee ballots. Election officials simply do not have time, resources, or staff to process all those requests. As a result, a large number of voters—at least tens of thousands—won’t get their ballots until after Election Day. And Wisconsin law disqualifies ballots received after that date. In response, last Thursday, a federal district court ordered the state to extend the absentee ballot deadline. It directed officials to count votes mailed after Election Day so long as they were returned by April 13. A conservative appeals court upheld his decision.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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OK you know how you get that feeling when someone says one thing and then turns around and does that thing that they accuse the other person of? Well, Trump and the republicans do that often, and very frequently. Well, after spending the better part of last year accusing Hunter Biden of nepotism, Trump goes around and appoints Jared Kusher to head the pandemic response team. Yes, that’s right – he went to Jared. Damn it, I’ve been saving that one for 3 years and I can’t tell it in front of a live audience. This bites. Fuck this virus. But yeah this is the exact kind of person who you don’t put in charge of a pandemic – a millionaire slum lord. And I say that because Jared Kusher ran his apartment complexes into the ground. So yeah you don’t want him in charge of something like this.

As the coronavirus task force gathered for their now-daily press briefing, a familiar figure joined them on stage: President Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner.

"Today you're going hear from Jared Kushner, senior adviser to the President of the United States, but someone that the White House Coronavirus Task Force directed to work with FEMA on supply chain issues," explained Vice President Mike Pence. "And in recent weeks, he has been leading a working group, in conjunction with FEMA, that literally has identified millions of medical supplies around the nation and around the world. And we're grateful for his efforts and his leadership."
Er, OK?

Kushner, it would appear, has insinuated himself into a prominent role in coordinating the administration's coronavirus response despite no obvious qualifications -- he isn't a doctor, an infectious disease expert or someone who has run large organizations -- for such a prominent role.

"Because of his unique status, he has made himself the point of contact for many agency officials who know that he can force action and issue decisions without going to the president. But while Mr. Kushner and his allies say that he has brought more order to the process, the government's response remains fragmented and behind the curve."

What unique status? The only reason he has a unique status is that he happens to be married to your girlfriend, er, daughter Ivanka. Yeah that got weird didn’t it? I would expect groaning and moaning from a live audience over that joke. But no, you’re sticking with me. Yeah I keep dwelling on the fact that I have no audience but I am dealing with it. Back on topic, oh yeah letting Jared do this is an extremely bad idea. And conspiracy theorists know that having the word “shadow” when describing their unit means that it is fucking shady to begin with. So why are they OK with this?

The twist of fate that has cast Jared Kushner as a would-be savior in the greatest public health crisis to confront the United States in a century is a dramatic one.

The moment of national peril has been compared to September 11. Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, said coronavirus was her country’s greatest challenge since the second world war.

As the leader of the federal government effort to distribute emergency equipment to the states, Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, has mostly shied from the public stage, but he now is working in history’s spotlight.

His vast responsibilities include weighing requests from governors for aid and coordinating with private companies to obtain medical equipment, work he carries out from a special post created for him inside the Federal Emergency Management Agency, where his team is called “the Slim Suit crowd” for their distinctive tailoring, the New York Times has reported.

Kushner’s team was credited with coordinating a planeload of medical supplies that arrived in the US from China last week.

Yeah except when most people go to Jared, they get excited because it means they’re getting married, or they’re getting a ridiculous piece of jewelry they can’t possibly afford! This Jared, on the other hand is a literal fuck up. In fact he fucks things up so much that he should get a cover story on “Fuck Up Of The Year” magazine! If such a magazine existed. But we don’t have to tell you that this is a really terrible idea.

Jared Kushner, President Trump's son-in-law and senior adviser, criticized governors Thursday, saying they don't have a handle on their own supplies of masks and ventilators needed to combat the coronavirus outbreak.

In a rare appearance in the White House briefing room, Kushner urged governors and some senators to be more resourceful in their own states instead of looking first to the federal government for help.

"What a lot of the voters are seeing now is that when you elect somebody to be a mayor or governor or president, you're trying to think about who will be a competent manager during the time of crisis," he said. "This is a time of crisis, and you're seeing certain people are better managers than others."

Kushner, a real estate executive with no public health expertise, generally works behind scenes at the White House. So, critics have been curious about his role in the administration's efforts to confront the coronavirus pandemic.

And honestly that’s kind of what Trump did. He put a fucking real estate executive in charge of the worst health crisis not seen in an entire century. Maybe he should put, I don’t know, people who know shit about public health in charge! Is it any fucking wonder why people don’t trust the government? Yeah let’s put a guy in charge of housing in a health crisis. That’s an epic fail no matter how you look at it. And yes, this will end badly. Just look at how it went this week!

Members of a White House coronavirus task force were ordered to work from home after one person’s partner tested positive for the virus, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) said in an email to staff.

The email said all staff on the supply chain sub task force who worked on a certain floor of a FEMA building in Washington, D.C., are required to telework starting Tuesday. The person, described by FEMA as a “partner” who is a federal employee, visited FEMA headquarters in Washington.

A FEMA spokesperson told The Hill that "at no time" did the person who tested positive "or any other known to have contact with them, come within six feet of any other Task Force principal for a prolonged period of time."

Admiral John Polowczyk, who is leading the sub task force, was listed as a recipient of the email, according to NBC. The unit he leads is tasked with acquiring, shipping and distributing equipment to combat the coronavirus. On Thursday, Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) urged Trump to tap a supply director. The president told him to stop “complaining”.

Read more: https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/491569-white-house-coronavirus-unit-ordered-to-work-from-home-after-positive

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[font size="8"]The Fate Of Captain Crozier
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WHO FIRED THE WHISTLEBLOWERS??? OK why am I shouting? I am doing this out of my house, there’s no audience right now. But yeah if you’ve been following the absolutely shocking and horrifying developments out of the US Navy, and you’re not looking with absolute horror, then you sir or madam, have no soul. Because when you see what happened with Captain Brett Crozier, the longtime captain of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, it is truly stunning what happened. He sounded the alarm about COVID being on his ship, and guess what? He got fired! Because that’s how Trump rolls. Yeah so last week reports of the horrid disease aboard USS Roosevelt started spreading. And here’s what Trump did.

The episode I’m about to mention has been receiving saturation social-media attention for the past few hours, as I write. But because the accelerating torrent of news tends to blast away each day’s events and make them hard to register—even a moment like this, which I expect will be included in histories of our times—I think it is worth noting this episode while it is fresh.

Until a few days ago, Brett Crozier would have been considered among the U.S. Navy’s most distinguished commanders.

He graduated from the Naval Academy in 1992 and then entered training as a naval aviator. He was qualified first as a helicopter pilot, and then in the Navy’s F/A-18 fighter planes. He was deployed aboard the aircraft carrier Nimitz during the Iraq war, and he held an ascending series of staff and command jobs—as you can read in his Pentagon biography, here. He received a master’s degree from the Naval War College; he became executive officer (second in command) of the nuclear-powered carrier Ronald Reagan; and he became commander of the amphibious ship Blue Ridge. Then late last year, as a Navy captain, he took command of the Nimitz-class nuclear carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt and the 4,000-plus people in its crew.

Last week, coronavirus sickness spread rapidly among the Roosevelt’s crew members. Five days ago, on Sunday, Matthias Gafni and Joe Garofoli of the San Francisco Chronicle published an email by Crozier, addressed to his naval superiors, asking that the ship be diverted from its normal duties so that sick crew members could be treated and the spread of disease could be slowed. Gafni and Garofoli did not say how they had received the email, but it had been copied to a large number of recipients and not marked as sensitive; Crozier must have known it was likely to become public when he sent it.

Well yes, ladies I would absolutely agree with you! And it gets worse. Oh it gets so much worse my friends who are braving with me on this home edition. I’m not even going to acknowledge that he has COVID, because you probably already knew that. And you probably also knew that Trump most likely didn’t read Capt. Crozier’s letter, and if you think he did, well, I’ve got a bottle of silver solution to sell you for $59.99.

It was a send-off for the ages, with hundreds of sailors aboard the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt cheering Capt. Brett E. Crozier, the commander who sacrificed his naval career by writing a letter to his superiors demanding more help as the novel coronavirus spread through the ship.

The rousing show of support provided the latest gripping scene to emerge from the coronavirus pandemic: the rank and file shouting their admiration for a boss they viewed as putting their safety ahead of his career.

The memes were quick to sprout on social media. On Reddit, one depicted Captain Crozier forced to choose between rescuing his career or his sailors from a burning building; he chooses his sailors. On Twitter, a slew of videos showed Captain Crozier’s walk down the gangway in Guam, most of them depicting him as a hero struck down by his superiors for trying to save the lives of his crew. “Wrongfully relieved of command but did right by sailors,” wrote Twitter user Dylan Castillo, alongside a video of Captain Crozier leaving his ship.

But in removing Captain Crozier from command, senior Navy officials said they were protecting the historic practice that complaints and requests have to go up a formal chain of command. They argued that by sending his concerns to 20 or 30 people in a message that eventually leaked to news organizations, Captain Crozier showed he was no longer fit to lead the fast-moving effort to treat the crew and clean the ship.

Oh come on, we kid! We kid! Really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to go out on? We love our Navy brothers and sisters here! But this is one of those things that fall under the “everything Trump touches dies” category. Yes, he probably didn’t read the letter. Yes, he probably fired the captain, and the captain’s replacement. Because he’s Trump. He’s now turned things into a literal revolving door.

The Navy secretary resigned Tuesday in a mushrooming controversy over the firing of a popular aircraft carrier captain who warned about coronavirus endangering his sailors.

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly quit a day after he was recorded telling sailors on the virus-stricken USS Theodore Roosevelt that fired Capt. Brett Crozier was “either too stupid or too naive” to lead them.

Modly was left swinging in the wind after President Trump apparently reversed his previous support for the tone-deaf dismissal of Crozier.

The president slammed Modly’s blunt remarks as “rough” on Monday. Hours before Modly’s resignation, the president retweeted a prediction that he would soon “get involved” in Crozier’s ouster.

Modly issued a written apology late Monday but that failed to quell demands for his head.

Yeah it’s just like that. So Trump fired Capt. Crozier, then he fired the Navy secretary, and he will most likely fire the acting Navy secretary. Because like I said, everything he touches dies. He’s the literal opposite of King Midas. But in case you’re wondering, if you think our hospitals are bad now, well, Navy hospitals really aren’t much better. In fact this might be a good topic for a future Top 10 Investigates.

The U.S. Navy generated glowing headlines and cheering crowds when deploying its hospital ships Mercy and Comfort to Los Angeles and New York City respectively. But the ships are both pushing 50 years old and need replacing, and what those replacements will look like is anything but certain.

Both ships were converted super-tankers designed for providing care for combat casualties. And while both ships have combat deployments under their belts during Operation Desert Storm and Operation Iraqi Freedom, they are far more frequently used for disaster relief and medical outreach missions across the globe.

During nearly 35 years of service, the distinctive white hulls and red crosses have become symbols of American soft power abroad and, occasionally, the symbol of the Defense Department pitching in at home. The Comfort was deployed during Hurricane Katrina to New Orleans and in 2017 to Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Both Mercy and Comfort today are providing emergency care in Los Angeles and New York to free up civilian hospitals to focus on COVID-19 patients.

But much like the bulk of the surge sealift fleet, the ships run on outdated steam plants that fewer and fewer mariners know how to operate and maintain. And, like classic cars, they need constant care and attention to keep in working order. In 2018, the Navy proposed decommissioning one of the ships in 2021, but was blocked by Congress.

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[font size="8"]Who’s Profiting From The Pandemic???
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By now everyone knows that the first case of the highly contagious and very deadly coronavirus was confirmed by the WHO on 12/31/19. And we know that in that length of time, Trump went golfing 6 times, held 3 fundraisers and also held 5 MAGA rallies. During that whole time he downplayed the true dangers of this deadly disease. And while we were being distracted, the Senate knew that it was coming, and what they did next will make your blood fucking boil. Guess what they did? They profited off the pandemic. Yes, they sold stocks that they knew were going to tank because of this thing, before the stock market went into a free fall. Hold your boos.

Four senators sold stocks shortly after a January briefing in the Senate on the novel coronavirus outbreak, unloading shares that plummeted in value a month later as the stock market crashed in the face of a global pandemic.

According to financial disclosure forms, Sens. Kelly Loeffler (R-Ga.), James Inhofe (R-Okla.), Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.) and Richard Burr (R-N.C.) each sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in stocks within days of the Senate holding a classified briefing on Jan. 24 with Trump administration officials on the threat of the coronavirus outbreak.

The sales raise questions about whether the senators violated the STOCK Act, a law that bans members of Congress from making financial trades based on nonpublic information.

Loeffler and her husband, who is the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, sold at least $355,000 in stocks from Jan. 24-31, according to Senate records, after the coronavirus briefing hosted by the Senate Health and Foreign Relations committees.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Normally this would be a number one entry in the Top 10 any other week but in this world that’s been upended by the virus, this gets bumped to number 4! I mean there’s no way that anyone involved in this should get a “get out of jail free” card. While we’re scrambling to find supplies, these monsters profited. And they should not be allowed to get away with it!

Senator Richard Burr has called for an ethics investigation into himself and three other senators who sold off stock after receiving classified briefings on the coronavirus threat.

Burr—a North Carolina Republican who is chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee—sold up to $1.72 million in stock through Feb. 13, shortly before reassuring the public that the government had a handle on the coronavirus response. A week later, the S&P 500 Index started what would become a 30% drop, wiping out most gains made since President Donald Trump's inauguration.

In a tweet on Friday, Burr denied any wrongdoing, saying that he “relied solely on public news reports” to inform his decisions.

Here’s how well those stocks performed after he sold them.

Another senator under scrutiny, Georgia Republican Kelly Loeffler, sold off millions of dollars worth of stock beginning on Jan. 24, the day the health committee she sits on was briefed by U.S. public-health officials.

You got that right sir! This is unquestionably what one might call a “dick move”. And it’s such a dick move that they knew this was coming and rather than sound they alarm, they opened up their wallets because, why not? This is America!! This is huge, and this is certainly one of the most evil, egregious acts that has ever happened. Crap, they put Martha Stewart away for less than this! Just how bad is this whole thing? Well it gets worse!

Sen. Kelly Loeffler of Georgia and her husband, Intercontinental Exchange Chairman Jeff Sprecher, disclosed additional stock trades as they faced criticism for dumping shares before the market plummeted over the coronavirus crisis, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported on Tuesday.

Last month, both Loeffler and Sprecher, who is also the chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, came under scrutiny for selling hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock before the market's drop.

The Daily Beast reported last month that after she attended a January 24 closed-door US Senate briefing on the COVID-19 outbreak, Loeffler sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in shares of Resideo Technologies, Comcast, AutoZone, and more before the decline and also bought up shares in Citrix, a company that makes telecommuting software.

On Tuesday, The Journal-Constitution reported that newly disclosed stock transactions from early March involved the sale of retail stocks, which have seen a sharp decline as the industry suffers from the outbreak. Loeffler sold over $70,000 in shares of the retailer Ross on March 4 and 5; $27,000 in shares of TJX Cos., the parent company of TJ Maxx; and over $56,000 in shares of Lululemon, a popular athleisure clothing brand.

I wouldn’t go that far, but considering over twice as many people have died from this wretched virus as have died in 9/11, it’s not that far of a stretch. So we know that four senators have made untold money on this deadly pandemic. Not only did they dump retail stocks, it gets worse! They also dumped travel stocks because they knew a travel ban is coming. These are people who are going to have to answer for their crimes.

Senator Kelly Loeffler sold a total of $46,027 worth of stock in an online travel company in the day leading up to President Donald Trump’s announcement of a ban on most European travel to the U.S.

Though the transactions were relatively small for Loeffler and her husband -- whose net worth is estimated at more than $500 million -- the sales represented an about-face.

Loeffler, a Georgia Republican, had just days earlier purchased the shares, in Booking Holdings, jointly with her husband, Jeffrey Sprecher, the chief executive officer of Intercontinental Exchange, parent firm of the New York Stock Exchange

Booking Holdings provides online bookings for flights, hotels and other travel-related services, all of which have collapsed because of the Covid-19 pandemic.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Zantac Recall
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Drugs. We need them now more than ever in the day and age of a killer virus roaming the landscape. In this time though, a recall of a major drug used to fight heartburn isn’t exactly the headlines that we need to hear right now. But your heartburn medication along with a whole bunch of other ones might be contaminated. How did this happen and who allowed it to happen? Well in the case where the cure might be worse than the disease, you can always count on the American FDA to produce a recall of the drug when we most need it. And for how long has this been going on? Well, you might very well be at risk if you require this medication.

(CNN)The US Food and Drug Administration is requesting that manufacturers pull all prescription and over-the-counter ranitidine drugs, known by the brand name Zantac, from the market immediately, the agency announced on Wednesday.

The FDA noted that an ongoing investigation has determined that levels of a contaminant in the heartburn medications increase over time and when stored at higher-than-normal temperatures, pose a risk to public health.

The contaminant, N-nitrosodimethylamine or NDMA, is a probable human carcinogen and the FDA has been investigating levels of it in ranitidine since the summer of 2019.

"We didn't observe unacceptable levels of NDMA in many of the samples that we tested," Dr. Janet Woodcock, director of the FDA's Center for Drug Evaluation and Research, said in Wednesday's announcement.

"However, since we don't know how or for how long the product might have been stored, we decided that it should not be available to consumers and patients unless its quality can be assured," Woodcock said in part. "The FDA will continue our efforts to ensure impurities in other drugs do not exceed acceptable limits so that patients can continue taking medicines without concern."

No this drug doesn’t do that unfortunately. It treats heartburn and that’s about it. And that’s part of what fears about a coronavirus cure could bring – the risk of contamination. So why is the NDMA so important in these drugs? Well in the day and age of a deadly disease, you don’t want to risk getting further contaminated with anything because that could end really badly for you. But it is good that they caught it before it got really bad.

New Haven, Connecticut-based Valisure said the FDA should recall Sanofi’s Zantac and all other ranitidine products “to protect the American public from further exposure to the potentially carcinogenic properties of Ranitidine,” according to the petition, which was posted to a federal website Wednesday.

Then, in early January, another lab, Emery Pharma, filed its own citizen petition informing the FDA that its testing determined the level of the suspected carcinogen NDMA can increase if the drug is exposed to high heat, even after it has been packaged.

"Our preliminary data indicate that NDMA accumulates in ranitidine-containing drug products on exposure to elevated temperatures, which would be routinely reached during shipment and during storage. More importantly, these conditions occur post-lot release by the manufacturer. Hence, while NDMA levels in ranitidine may be acceptable at the source, they may not be so when the drug is purchased and subsequently at the time of consumption by the consumer," the petition says.

In a statement today, Valisure CEO David Light said, "Very glad that Valisure's laboratory testing has had such an impact and we strongly support and applaud FDA's decision to remove all ranitidine products from the market,"

That might be one of the side effects of that drug, actually! So as far as drugs go, this highlights the need to test them regularly for impurities and imperfections. But we also need a world where you can take a drug without worrying about the horrifying side effects. Much like the pharmaceutical ads where they spend most of the time talking about said side effects. But really this highlights a potentially broken part of our healthcare system that needs to be fixed.

Thanks to decades of regulatory oversight and pharmacovigilance, we tend to take for granted the quality and safety of our most used medicines. Sometimes, though, the challenges and complexities of ensuring this peace of mind are thrown into the spotlight. Recently, potentially carcinogenic nitrosamine impurities were found to be present in commercially available drug products. This discovery, and the measures taken to quickly mitigate any risks, highlight the role of advancing analytical technology in safeguarding consumer health.

In September 2019, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) reported unacceptable levels of N-nitrosodimethylamine (NDMA), a probable human carcinogen, in several batches of the heartburn medication ranitidine (Zantac) [1], which prompted a large-scale product recall. Coming little over a year after similar findings triggered a recall of batches of the angiotensin II receptor blocker (ARB) valsartan [2], the ranitidine results meant an increased focus on this impurity, its risks and, in particular, its detection. One outcome has been the adoption of novel analytical methods developed using the latest high-resolution accurate mass (HRAM) mass spectrometry techniques, which are helping overcome some of the limitations of previous approaches to nitrosamine detection.

Certain pharmaceutical manufacturing processes can result in the production of genotoxic impurities (GTIs), such as NDMA and other nitrosamines, many of which are potentially carcinogenic, even at low levels. Consequently, regulatory authorities closely monitor drug products for these compounds.

Documentation from the European Medicines Agency (EMA) highlights potential sources of nitrosamine formation and contamination in ARB drugs [3]. These include specific active pharmaceutical ingredient (API) processing conditions and materials, the use of sodium and other nitrites in the presence of secondary or tertiary amines, and the inclusion of contaminated raw materials in API production. Of note is the significant challenge posed by vendor-sourced raw and starting materials, particularly because an API manufacturer whose own process is incapable of producing nitrosamines may be unaware of the risk of such impurities being present.

Well it’s not weed but if you take Zantac and you need it, what are the alternatives? For one thing, remain calm. There’s plenty of heartburn medication alternatives out there, and you don’t need a commercial from Larry The Cable Guy to tell you which one to take. If you’ve been taking Zantac, then there’s plenty of other ways you can get what you need when you need it.

“As a result of this immediate market withdrawal request, ranitidine products will not be available for new or existing prescriptions or OTC use in the U.S.,” the FDA concluded.
So, what should you do if you’ve been taking Zantac?

First, don’t freak out. Experts don’t know what this means at this point. “I have been giving this medication for the last 30 years and I have not seen anything concerning—but you cannot be sure,” says Ashkan Farhadi, M.D., a gastroenterologist at MemorialCare Orange Coast Medical Center in Fountain Valley, Calif. He points out that, as of now, there are no reports of any cancer cases related to Zantac use.

Still, that’s not a risk you want to take. If you have a box of the medication at home, the FDA recommends that you safely dispose of it. (They have steps on how to do this online.)

If you’ve taken Zantac here and there, it’s probably not something you should be concerned about, says Robert Weber, Pharm.D., pharmacy administrator at The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center. Even if you’ve been a heavy user of the medication, it’s still unclear what, exactly, that could mean for your overall health, Dr. Farhadi says. “This is just hypothetical at this point,” he says.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! We are conducting yet another online meeting since we cannot convene in the holy temple! The Holy Church is currently closed so we’re going virtual until it is safe to convene in the Holy Church again. That said, a lot of our brothers and sisters on the right still refuse to take this thing seriously. So much in fact that there’s one guy in Pennsylvania who is planning to take the anti-quarantine to the next level. In fact he is going to do the opposite of a quarantine and hold a giant gathering with all the things that the modern Christian loves! But did anyone ever stop to tell him that this is a really bad idea?

A Pittsburgh area pastor says he plans to organize a large, Woodstock-like outdoor Easter service to protest the stay-at-home orders amid the COVID-19 outbreak.

Conservative Christian Pastor Jonathan Shuttlesworth made the announcement on social media after the arrests of pastors in the U.S. for failing to comply with state-at-home orders.

“How do you lay hands on people online? How do you baptize people online? How do you anoint with oil and lay hands on the sick?” he asked.

He said the government is infringing on the rights of people to assemble for religion.

He said the large outdoor gathering will be “like Woodstock.”

Now I hope Mr. Shuttlesworth will be visited by the 3 spirits during the night to tell him why this is a bad idea, but then again I am reminded that is a work of fiction and not in any way grounded in reality! So instead I will do that. Because in the time of the great pandemic, we need to be reminded of why this is a terrible idea! And that is if a group of us gets this terrible virus, then it will set off a chain in which a lot of us will get sick and die as a result! And that’s not something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it?

On Sunday, the pastor of Cross Culture Christian Center in Lodi, Calif., was greeted by several police officers in the parking lot about an hour before he intended to hold an in-person service despite coronavirus restrictions.

Pastor Jon Duncan, whose small evangelical church leases space in Bethel Open Bible Church, arrived Sunday morning, Palm Sunday, to find that Bethel, which stopped having in-person services on March 15, had changed the locks on the building to prevent his congregants from entering, Lodi Police Lt. Michael Manetti told The Times.

Duncan had continued to hold in-person services for Cross Culture Christian Center amid the coronavirus outbreak.

“We’re going to meet as often as we can meet, and we do believe that this right is protected by the 1st Amendment and should be considered essential,” Duncan said in an interview with KTXL-TV last week.

Yeah but not that badly, miss! In fact that’s just one congregation, and I am not in the least surprised that it’s Bethel! But they are not the only ones that are defying what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? So death or church? That is the decision that we must make in this trying time. But when JAYSUS would make a sacrifice for the greater good, it appears his fellow evangelicals… are not willing to do the same!

HAMMOND — Police ticketed a church and its elders Sunday for refusing to disperse their congregation to comply with Gov. Eric Holcomb's "shelter in place" order, Mayor Thomas McDermott said.

More than 30 parishioners were inside The Church of Christ, which occupies a small building at 169th and Leland streets in Hammond, and more were pulling up in the parking lot when officers arrived about 9:50 a.m., he said.

Some of the worshipers wore masks, but others did not, McDermott said.

Holcomb issued a "stay at home" order that took effect March 24 in response to the global coronavirus pandemic. The directive prohibits public gatherings of more than 10 people and orders all Hoosiers to stay home unless traveling for activities deemed essential.

According to data released Sunday by the state, the virus has killed more than 125 people in Indiana and sickened more than 4,400. More than 335,000 confirmed cases have been reported across the U.S., according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins University.

Yes but do we need JAYSUS that badly sir? Everything can wait right now, the only thing should be getting rid of this most wicked of viruses! But if you want to see the dire consequences of your actions, I know everyone is tense and not getting social interaction right now. Before you go attending Pastor Shuttlesworth’s convention there’s something that you should know before hand – if you go to church right now, you’ll probably get it. I’m just saying it happens!

Nearly a third of Sacramento County’s coronavirus cases are connected to churches, officials said Wednesday, a discovery this week that has prompted alarmed county officials to issue a special plea for congregations to stop holding services and prayer groups.

County health chief Dr. Peter Beilenson said his office is asking congregations to hold services and fellowship meetings via Zoom, Skype or some other virtual platform - but not in person.

Speaking Wednesday morning, Beilenson said more than 100 of the county’s 314 cases of coronavirus infections are connected to church groups.

That includes 24 infections spread among one church whose congregants have continued to hold in-person fellowship meetings during the growing pandemic. Beilenson declined to name the church.

Another church, Faith Presbyterian Church in Sacramento, has had two parishioners die from the virus and a total of five people test positive for the virus. But church officials note that they halted in-person church services after March 8 and fully shut down their buildings on March 12, one full week before Sacramento County officials issued a shelter-in-place order.

Yes, the devil walks among us, and until we rid ourselves of the devil virus, expect this to keep happening over and over! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots: Suing Your Parody Account
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OK, MAGAs and Trump fans, let me teach you a little something about comedy. Because we’re here to educate as well as entertain. And look, we’re all stuck at home during this Great Quarantine. And nobody likes it. We’re all bored as shit. Netflix can only get you so far. But here’s the thing I want to tell you – if you can dish it out, you’d better damn well be prepared to take it. Because if you can’t take it, then who’s the real snowflake in that picture? Hint: It’s you!!! Now there’s a couple of incidents of this. The first is the Twitter parody account made famous by John Oliver – Devin Nunes’ Cow (@devincow). And we will get to that in a minute. The other right now is the 90s alternative metal band Trapt, who recently went full MAGA on a group of trolls. And you don’t go full MAGA or it will end badly for you.

Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown has now been taking on haters via Twitter for over two weeks. The latest installment of the social media epic features a Trapt parody account, which Brown has now threatened to sue.

Initially, Brown responded to actor Chris Evans on Twitter after he criticized one of President Trump’s press conferences on coronavirus. Along with defending Trump’s handling of the coronavirus epidemic and the president’s use of the term “Chinese virus,” Brown has been stating that white privilege doesn’t exist while defending himself against Twitter users labeling him as racist and xenophobic.

After online fights with over a dozen rock and metal bands, a Trapt parody account appeared, which at first, was almost indistinguishable from the official @TRAPTOFFICIAL account. Instead, the second ‘I’ in “OFFICIAL” was replaced with a lowercase L, leaving the lack of a verified check mark as the only noticeable different between the official and parody Trapt pages.

Brown eventually noticed the account and threatened to sue the mystery tweeter:

It’s not going to be hard to find out who you are and sue you... You know that right? Screenshots of the whole thing. In order to violate our impersonation policy, the account must portray another entity in a misleading or deceptive manner. Many tweets u sent have done this. Bye

Yeah you can dish it out but you sure can’t take it! Now here’s where this whole thing gets weird, and you knew it was going to. Because in the day and age of coronavirus, where there’s uncertaintly, angst and anxiety in everyone, everywhere, you got to latch on to whatever entertainment you can get your hands on. But I do love that the people who take things to the next level.

A parody Twitter account surfaced recently amid a string of Twitter-beefs that Trapt’s official account engaged in. In the span of just a few days, Trapt had spats with Captain America’s Chris Evans, Chris Fronzak of Attila, Tilian Pearson of Dance Gavin Dance, Telle Smith of the Word Alive, I Prevail, and Silent Planet.

The beef first started after Evans called out President Trump for his handling of the coronavirus. Trapt’s official account tweeted that Trump’s actions are the only reason the pandemic isn’t worse.

The argument-by-tweet then turned into a spat of who was more relevant and who made more money. In the end, Fronzak tweeted how “amazing” it was to see Trapt get “bodied by Warped Tour Twitter.”

Then, fans and bands saw a tweet from the Trapt parody account saying that the posers would not be able to play their iconic hit, “Headstrong.” The tweet also said the band itself couldn’t play the song since they have not “played a real guitar on stage since George W Bush was [president].”

This new parody poster features Trapt and three of the bands who were involved in the Twitter beef—I Prevail, Silent Planet and the Word Alive—as supporting acts. At present, it is unclear who originally made the poster as it makes the rounds on Twitter.

Yup, see you in court! Now you would think that Mr. Brown would be alone in suing his parody account, but nope, he is definitely not the only one! Let’s now switch subjects and talk about our old buddy Devin Nunes. Remember when he sued the Twitter handle called “Devin Nunes Cow “ (@devincow)? Well, let’s check in and see how that is going! Really, Devin’s ego should be last on our list of things to worry about right now.

Twitter in a new court filing argues that California Republican Rep. Devin Nunes cannot sue the social media company over disparaging remarks made by anonymous writers because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users.

The document represents Twitter’s second attempt to ask a Virginia judge to dismiss the defamation case Nunes, R-Tulare, filed last year against the San Francisco company along with Republican political strategist Liz Mair and two anonymous writers who heckle the congressman online under the personas of his mother and his cow.

Previously, Twitter argued it could not be sued in Virginia because Nunes accepted a user agreement that directs lawsuits against the company to California courts, and because any political harm Nunes might have suffered because of online criticism would have occurred in his San Joaquin Valley district.

A judge in the Richmond-based court ruled against that motion in October, finding that Mair lived in Virginia when she posted tweets about Nunes.

In the new motion filed Wednesday, Twitter said Nunes’ claims that Twitter had neglected to take action against users who he says defamed him contradicted a law that protects companies like Twitter from liability in cases just like this.

Yeah so if you’re caught in a lawsuit like this, you can use this as your defense, and it is directly mocking you. Because hey, a cow doesn’t have opposable thumbs and can’t use Twitter. Devin Nunes doesn’t have a soul and therefore can’t be a real person. Can he? I don’t know, I am just speculating. But here’s the thing – if you sue your own parody account, the real joke is you. Because you clearly can’t take one as much as you can dish it out. Just ask Devin Nunes or that Trapt guy.

Twitter has filed a new motion to dismiss a $250 million lawsuit by Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) against the company and two parody Twitter accounts that mocked him.

Nunes sued Twitter and @DevinCow and @DevinNunesMom (now suspended) last year, claiming Twitter failed to take action against comments he claimed defamed him. His lawsuit triggered an explosion in the number of followers of the parody accounts.

Twitter argued in a new court filing Wednesday that Nunes can’t sue the social media company for remarks in the parody accounts because federal law gives it “broad immunity” from liability for the comments of its users, The Fresno Bee reported.

“Congress granted providers of online platforms like Twitter broad immunity from claims that seek to hold them liable for harms caused by defamatory or otherwise harmful content that appeared on the provider’s platform but were created by third parties,” the motion to dismiss says.

Nunes argued in his suit last year that Twitter limits conservative viewpoints on its platform due to bias.

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to Conspiracy Corner – the segment where you can nurture your tin foil hat and go full truther if your heart so desires! Well in the time of the Great Pandemic, naturally, there’s going to be conspiracies. Last week we talked about the bizarre theory that celebrities are purposefully using a tainted batch of adrenochrome, a drug used to treat mental illness, as a way of purposefully getting COVID-19. And if that sentence makes absolutely no sense, you’re not alone. This week, conservative conspiracy theorists have gone so far as to film their local hospitals. In yet another move that makes absolutely no sense.

Even in the midst of a global pandemic, conspiracy theorists will find a way to spread disinformation.

Their latest antic involves taking pictures and videos of hospitals in an effort to “prove” that coronavirus is a hoax.

The theory appears to stem from the mistaken belief that hospital waiting rooms and parking lots appear empty because the virus isn’t either real or as serious as people are being told.

In reality, there are fewer cars and people because visitation and elective procedures have been canceled to slow the spread of coronavirus. Further, medical facilities are taking great care to separate coronavirus patients from those without the disease.

Taking photos at medical facilities can also violate federal patient privacy rights. And it’s extremely ill-advised to go to a coronavirus hot zone like a hospital.

See here’s the thing morons, there’s a book I would suggest reading called “The Hot Zone” which was about a pandemic exactly like what we’re experiencing. The real chaos is happening inside the hospital and they’ve restricted visitors and access. And when there’s a highly contagious disease roaming the landscape, they are currently places you do not want to go! And you most definitely don’t want to listen to people like this for advice!

DeAnna Lorraine, a right-wing activist who unsuccessfully ran in the Mar. 3 California primary to challenge House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, is now pushing new conspiracy theories about COVID-19, promoting the hashtags #coronavirustruth and #filmyourhospital.

On Sunday, Lorraine filmed outside two hospitals in Los Angeles and found them quiet—which she took as a sign that the hospitals and mainstream media are engaged in a hoax, rather than a simpler alternative explanation, which is that hospitals aren’t allowing any visitors to try to protect their patients and prevent further spread of the virus.

“Let’s get #FilmYourHospital trending,” Lorraine tweeted Sunday afternoon. As of early Monday morning, that message had been retweeted more than 15,000 times and people were taking her up on the challenge, filming quiet hospital parking lots as if they were revealing yet another mainstream media plot. The hashtag has also attracted outrage from medical professionals and others who are warning that this kind of disinformation is threatening people’s lives.

Lorraine was back at it on Monday morning, tweeting messages like “I’m sure we would all like the actual #Coronavirustruth” and “How many people do you personally know with #COVID19.” She asserted that, “The FDA has never been interested in cures or safety.”

You got that right! But this is why you should never listen to truthers – they are actually full of some pure grade A bullshit! There’s nothing to joke about the current situation that we are all in, and harassing doctors is counter productive. I know, my brother is one. And guess what? They don’t have time for your bullshit! So don’t do this people. Really, just stay the fuck out of it.

As of early Tuesday morning, March 31, the coronavirus pandemic had killed more than 39,000 people worldwide (according to the Center for Systems Science and Engineering at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore). But that figure might pale in comparison to what lies ahead: Dr. Anthony Fauci, a key member of President Donald Trump’s coronavirus take force, told CNN’s John Berman this week that he “would not be surprised if we saw 100,000 deaths” from COVID-19 in the United States alone in the months ahead — and that’s with aggressive social distancing measures in place. Yet despite all the deaths that coronavirus has inflicted and will continue to inflict, some far-right media figures continue to insist people are exaggerating the impact of the pandemic. And Will Sommer, in an article for the Daily Beast, takes a look at some of the idiotic tactics of coronavirus truthers.

“Right-wing figures eager to downplay the coronavirus pandemic’s death toll have hit on a new idea: filming quiet hospital parking lots,” Sommer explains. “Over the weekend, a growing number of pro-Trump personalities decided that the way to prove that the media was overhyping the pandemic was to film places where cars and ambulances show up to drop patients off. If the entrances were quiet and the parking lots mostly empty, they claimed, that was proof that the coronavirus’ effects had been overstated.”

Coronavirus truthers have become a cottage industry on the far right — not unlike birthers (conspiracy nuts who claimed that President Barack Obama wasn’t really born in the U.S.) and 9/11 truthers (those who claimed that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were a hoax).

So whether it’s Coronavirus truthers or 9/11 truthers or flat earthers, or anti-gravity fliers, they’re all the same brand of crazy with a different pattern on the cloth. But here’s the thing – you do not want to listen to the conspiracy theorists on literally any subject, because they will almost certainly be wrong. In this case, you have to respect and trust the experts. Like Dr. Fauci, you cannot ignore t this man, and Trump is literally going out of his way to do so.

During a YouTube livestream last Friday, right-wing pastor Curt Landry told his viewers that they should listen to President Donald Trump and not medical experts when it comes to the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak because Trump was chosen by God and therefore has greater spiritual authority.

“We are in a small window of time where we need to be decreeing, praying, believing, and speaking it out of our mouths—critical at this time—speaking out of our mouths and agreeing with what Donald Trump is saying and not some of his advisers,” Landry said.

Landry, who last week declared that any eventual coronavirus vaccine would be “from the pit of Hell” and should not be taken, said that while he respects the nation’s top infectious disease expert Dr. Anthony Fauci, Trump outranks him spiritually and so Christians should be listening to the president rather than doctors and other health experts.

“I’m talking to you spiritually,” Landry said. “I am not a scientist, I am not a doctor, and I do respect [Fauci’s] knowledge, I respect where he comes from, and I respect him in his position that God has put him in. But in the order of spiritual alignment, Donald J. Trump is the Cyrus above him … As believers, we need to agree—I believe that God puts kings and leaders in their place, I believe God has put Donald Trump in his place as a Cyrus—and we need to agree with what he’s saying.”

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Crimes Of The Virus
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Hey everyone, we’re cooped at home during the Great Quarantine, and I have never needed a drink more!

You know this segment is usually reserved for when the news gets too dark. And boy has it got dark lately. There’s nothing we can say or do on this segment that will make people feel better. And on this show, it’s usually funnier when I’m plastered in front of a live audience. We can’t replicate that here but we can at least try to cheer you up. So that said, New Jersey might be the new Florida. And in this time of the Great Quarantine, when you can’t leave me house, we need more of this in our lives don’t we? I am also proud to announce that my bartender has been declared an essential business, so we can have some booze! Tell me bartender, what goes well with quarantine? A quarantine cocktail? No thanks, I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Here’s the thing, it’s getting weird with the virus. And we are going to chronicle some of the stranger things going on in this one. Starting with:

Piscataway police have charged four people with violating Gov. Phil Murphy's emergency orders, according to the Office of the Attorney General.

Police charged Yu Han, 20, Xiaonuo Shi, 18, Chenyu Yang, 19, and Roukai Wang, 19, Friday with disorderly persons offenses for violating the emergency orders and criminal mischief for allegedly drag racing and doing donuts in a school parking lot.

Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal urged the public and business owners to comply with the governor’s emergency orders — not only to keep themselves and others healthy, but to avoid creating more work and risks for hard-pressed law enforcement officers.

He warned that those who fail to comply will be held accountable, citing numerous cases where charges have been filed for violations of the orders or other offenses related to the coronavirus.

“Our police officers are going above and beyond the call of duty during this health crisis. Unfortunately, they are being called upon far too often to deal with people violating the orders put in place to protect us all— or what is more egregious, people falsely using the coronavirus to spread fear or impede officers in their vital work,” Grewal said.

Thanks I needed that! That goes without saying though, we are indoors all day and we are bored out of our minds. But don’t go doing something fucking stupid like doing donuts in a parking lot. Or launch a Molotov cocktail. Well the Molotov Cocktail is generally a bad idea to begin with. But you definitely know that things are going south when someone starts stuffing rags into a bottle of booze and lighting it on fire!

A man hosting a house party where more than 30 guests were in attendance and filming videos to post on YouTube.

A rabbi hosting a party for 25 young students at the all-boys school where he is headmaster.

Four people holding weddings.

A woman who allegedly threw a Molotov cocktail at her boyfriend's house.

They're among the latest people in New Jersey to be charged, in some cases among other offenses, with violating the state's emergency orders designed to stop the spread of the coronavirus.

“Staying home and maintaining social distance is not just good advice to stay healthy — it’s the law," state Attorney General Gurbir S. Grewal said in a statement Friday. "Make no mistake, we will do what it takes to keep our residents and police officers safe, and that means we won’t hesitate to file criminal charges against those who violate the emergency orders.”

Yeah people, in the time of the virus, when we’re all considered biological weapons, don’t do anything fucking stupid. And things like this are why this thing is going to get dragged out months instead of weeks, and we all want this gone sooner than later! And the thing is now in this day and age, you can get arrested for the mere act of coughing. Yes, coughing is now a crime.

An individual who spits or coughs on a member of law enforcement will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, Erie County District Attorney John J. Flynn announced Monday.

The announcement follows multiple incidents reported by law enforcement throughout Erie County in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Flynn said potential charges may include attempted assault in the second degree, a class “E” felony, menacing in the third degree, a class “B” misdemeanor, and harassment in the second degree, a violation.

Additionally, if the alleged incident occurred within a correctional facility, the individual could be charged with aggravated harassment in the second degree, a class “E” felony.

A person could face a maximum 4 years in prison, if convicted of the felony charges.

So here’s the scary truth people – as long as coronavirus is a thing, we’re all biological weapons, and we’re all sitting ducks as a result. So don’t be like these douchebags. Really, just don’t. And if you do you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. Because they could very well be fatal, and you are not the only one who is going to suffer. If this is the hill you choose to die on, you’d better be prepared to face the consequences. And I’ll drink to that!

Rotterdam police have arrested a man after he claimed he had coronavirus, and proceeded to cough on multiple customers at a Capital Region Walmart!

Police say that 23-year-old Marvin Herring was inside the Walmart located on Altamont Avenue, where he stated he has COVID-19 and was intentionally coughing on multiple customers.

The Brooklyn native was arrested around 7:40 PM on Tuesday evening. Herring is charged with one count of felony marking a terroristic threat, and one county of third degree misdemeanor menacing.

Herring was turned over to the Schenectady County Sheriff's Department, where it was discovered he was the subject of an active warrant from NYPD for felony first degree robbery.

The Rotterdam Police Department says they are following all CDC protocols for potential exposures.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2020 Round 1 Week 4
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16 states will enter and only one will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome back! We are just one short round away from the Elite 8! We are here at the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans where an electrified crowd is on their feet as the Elite 8 is shaping up. This week, it’s the final round of week 1 as the remaining two matches will duke it out for the chance to advance while the loser goes home! This week, it’s a battle for the Batshit as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina, while over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana! It’s god and crazy in the final round of week 1!

[font size="4"]Idaho:[/font]

The Gem State is back for another go round. Boise State may be the home of the famous blue football field that’s somehow ironically visible from space. It’s one of the things that make Idaho uniquely Idaho, and is so batshit crazy that birds often mistake it for a body of water and will fly into it. But what other batshit crazy things has the Gem State got themselves into? Of course before COVID-19 upended life as we know it, Idaho has of course Boise State. And then of course with Boise State comes the toxic frat environments that universities are known for these days.

Boise State University is suspending official recognition of a campus fraternity after “more than two years” of repeated violations of university policies and the Student Code of Conduct.

The Office of the Dean of Students issued the five-year suspension for Pi Kappa Phi based on a recommendation by the university’s Conduct Hearing Board, according to a Monday afternoon press release.

“Consequences this severe do not come lightly or easily, but all members of our university community have a responsibility to each other to be respectful and safe,” said Christian Wuthrich, Boise State’s State dean of students.

Boise State hasn’t suspended a fraternity for this “significant length” of time since the 1960s, spokesman Greg Hahn told the Statesman. The university can issue a suspension for one egregious violation or a pattern of repeated violations, Hahn said, but there is no prescribed number of violations that triggers such punishment.

Read more: https://www.idahostatesman.com/news/local/education/boise-state-university/article241042431.html

Yeah! He’ll do one! Then of course you lie on the couch face down in a pool of your own vomit. Going on 3 days, and your employer will never call you back. I’m just saying it happens! But Idaho is so batshit crazy that even in the age of the Great Pandemic, their efforts to take 2/3 of rural Oregon have been upended by the beast known as the coronavirus. Yes, the virus has even hindered insane gun nuts.

The group Move Oregon’s Border for a Greater Idaho is hoping Gov. Kate Brown’s statewide stay-at-home order won’t derail for long its newly launched signature-gathering effort in Josephine County. On March 12, the county gave its approval to circulate a petition