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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-3: Viva Lev Parnas Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-3: Viva Lev Parnas Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Georgetown? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! This is our third Top 10 of the new year that is 2020 and our previous stops couldn’t have gone better. So you guys ready for Super Bowl LIV? Hell yeah!! We got the 49ers and the Chiefs! No pesky teams named Patriots that we have to deal with this year. But my favorite part of the Super Bowl is the prop bets. And these are the bets that don’t necessarily have anything to do with the game , so we will run through some of them. Because hey we like to educate as well as entertain! Like you can bet on how many commercials will have dogs in them. Or you can bet on which Anheuser Busch brand of beer will advertise first. My money is on Michelob Ultra. I mean come on it’s the new year, we’re still counting calories, damn it. Or the coin toss. Or the number of the jersey that will score the first touchdown. Or even what color of Gatorade will be dumped on the willing coach. You can also bet on which J. Lo song will be performed at the halftime show. Which, you know I’m surprised that they’re having Jennifer Lopez play the halftime show given her busy schedule of appearing in two award winning TV shows and all the movies that she does. But that said… there’s always time for J.Lo! Ah that felt good! OK that’s enough of the intro. We got a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back, sort of, and he warns us of the dangers of your cell phone’s push notifications.

Man where do we begin this week? In the number one slot is of course the guy who we currently call president and that is Donald J. Trump (1). Did Rachel Maddow uncover the missing link in the Trump – Russia scandal? Please let this be what brings him down! In the second slot this week is Donald Trump’s boss, Vladimir Putin! Yes, Putin is in the hot seat this week after he announces plans to expand his power and the entire Russian government walks out on him! In the number 3 slot this week is Virginia Gun Nuts (3). While the rest of Virginia is supporting sensible gun control laws, Virginia gun nuts are proving that they’re the reason why we can’t have nice things. Taking the fourth slot this week is the Houston Astros (4) and the entire sports world has been rocked with the stunning accusations that the Astros and Alex Cora cheated their way to multiple World Series wins in the last few years. In the number 5 slot is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), and this week we’re going to talk about sleep. It turns out that sleep apnea machine provider ResMed may have aggressively targeted potential customers, and the entire sleep apnea industry might be suspect! Taking the sixth slot this week, is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week, our resident pastor is detailing a holy war of sorts brewing in the Catholic Church between new school Pope Francis and old school Pope Bendict. Who will come out on top? Hard to say. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – and every celebrity from Stephen King to Vince Vaughn is expressing their political opinions, so why are we completely sick of it? We will let you draw your own conclusions! In the number 8 slot this week is a new edition of our segment “NO!” and a longtime favorite band of the show, REM, has finally had enough of Trump using their music in his campaigns and they’re actually doing something about it! In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week is a new “I Need A Drink” (9). This week we’re going to the annual CES in Las Vegas where robots were all the rage and we’ll tell you about everything from bathroom pals to artificial limbs and walkers! Finally this week, in our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates (10), we’re a week out from the Iowa Straw Poll and we can tell you what to expect when the field of candidates gets even narrower! Plus the palate cleanser for all of my nonsense, we have some live music for you from Brittany Howard of Alabama Shakes! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

You know, for a party that claims they don’t want a partisan impeachment trial, they really are doing everything they can to make it partisan, am I right? And this whole shit show couldn’t be any crazier than it is right now. Especially when Trump is off to Davos where, the last time, he was all by himself while the rest of our world leaders were networking. But as the impeachment proceedings head to the Senate, things are going to get ugly. And mob boss Mitch McConnell certainly isn’t playing nice. And look at what South Carolina Senator ,and guy who looks like he just won the 2 for 1 Bingo tournament at the local learning annex, Lindsay Graham, and he isn’t playing nice either.

Lindsey Graham has said new impeachment evidence presented by Lev Parnas this week was "no different than the old evidence," calling the indicted Rudy Giuliani associate "crooked as a snake."

The GOP senator for South Carolina told Fox News on Thursday night that he smelled "a rat" and accused Parnas of "dripping out" evidence to the House Intelligence Committee in the build-up to the Senate impeachment trial.

His comments came two days after House Democrats released a trove of documents provided by Parnas' attorney, including text messages and photographs.

A letter from President Donald Trump's personal attorney Giuliani requesting a meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy was also among the evidence, and claimed to be sent with the commander-in-chief's "knowledge and consent."


Lindsay smells a rat? I think I know where this mob movie is going but I can't quite put my finger on it...

Come on, Lindsay, you can't out-act Jack Nicholson so don't even try! But that said we got to talk about this Lev Parnas situation. Viva Lev Parnas! Viva Lev Parnas! Viva, Vivaaaaaaa Lev Paraaaaaaaaaas!!! Thank you, that was my Elvis chunk! Thankyouverymuch! Yes, so Lev Parnas may be the missing link in this whole Trump – Russia affair. But of course you know the Trump cult, they will claim no knowledge of ever knowing Parnas.

Joseph Bondy, the attorney for Lev Parnas, shared on Twitter a video showing his client at an event with Vice President Mike Pence and second lady Karen Pence.

The vice president has denied knowing Parnas after the Ukrainian American businessman accused him of working on an alleged scheme to pressure Ukraine's government. "I don't know the guy," Pence said last week, CNN reported, calling Parnas's claims "completely false."

In the video clip, Parnas is seen holding the hand of Karen Pence and talking with her as the vice president stands by her side, speaking to someone else. Towards the end of the 23-second video, Parnas is seen reaching towards Mike Pence, waiting to shake his hand.

Over the footage plays the opening lines of "September" by Earth, Wind and Fire: "Do you remember the 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away."

Holy shit!!! Did he just say that Mike Pence and Rudy Giuliani were possible culprits? Just how deep and connected is this thing? And why does Rudy keep getting invited to things? He’s like the GOP’s Cousin Eddie – he’s such a fuck up that you don’t want to be associated with him, and every time he gets involved, things go very south very quickly!

The House Intelligence Committee released a new trove of evidence Friday that appears to show extensive contact between the top aide for House Intelligence Committee Ranking Member Devin Nunes (R-CA) and Lev Parnas, a former Rudy Giuliani ally and a key figure in the Ukraine scandal.

Following his arrest on campaign finance violation charges, Parnas began providing the committee with a body of notes, photographs, and cellphone data as part of President Donald Trump’s impeachment proceedings. These documents have been made public in tranches; earlier releases further defined Giuliani’s role in the push for a Ukrainian investigation into former Vice President Joe Biden, and included messages that seemed to suggest a Republican congressional candidate had former US ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch under surveillance.

In recent days, Parnas has mounted a concerted push to shed light on outstanding questions related to the president’s pressure campaign — which sought to first trade a White House meeting and later critical military aid, for an investigation into Biden, his son Hunter, and the Democratic Party. Wednesday, he appeared on MSNBC to claim Trump knew “exactly what was going on” with respect to Giuliani’s efforts to advance a Biden investigation, and claiming that Vice President Mike Pence and Attorney General William Barr were involved as well.

Parnas claimed last November that Nunes was also party to the pressure campaign, and that he’d worked with one of the lawmaker’s top aides, former White House official Derek Harvey, to keep the Congress member in the loop about the progress of the quid pro quo scheme.

Have you checked our shitters? So who else does Lev Parnas know and what does he know and how far could this go? These are very pressing questions and they could have some very far reaching implications that could go all the way to Trump himself. This isn’t a reality show, this is a mob movie, but which one? Scarface? Goodfellas? The Godfather? Only time will tell.

A dinner with Jared and Ivanka about cannabis, a phone call from Trump Hotel with Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, and a whole lot of theorizing about George Soros. Lev Parnas’ interactions with Trumpworld, in his words, went way beyond the Ukraine influence effort.

The former ally of Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani spent more than a year embedded with some of the president’s close outside allies. In that time, he said he had an inside view of all sorts of eyebrow-raising interactions and conversations. He described several of them in an interview with The Daily Beast from his lawyer’s office in Midtown Manhattan.

Federal law enforcement officials arrested Parnas and his associate Igor Fruman on Oct. 9 at Dulles Airport. They were then charged with a number of election-related crimes, and accused of funneling Russian money into American political campaigns. Both men maintain their innocence. Fruman has kept quiet throughout the process; Parnas, meanwhile, has spoken out—a lot.

On Thursday and Friday, MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and CNN’s Anderson Cooper ran on-air interviews with him in which he made a host of claims regarding core episodes of the Trumpworld effort to extract political goodies from the Ukrainian government in order to boost the president’s re-election campaign. He recounted more episodes from his days in the Trump family orbit to The Daily Beast on Thursday afternoon. He spoke from his lawyer’s conference room, sporting a hoodie and eyeing incredulously the cable news coverage of his case that played in the background.

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[font size="8"]Vladimir Putin
[br] [/font]

**Justice League voice** Meanwhile, in Russia!!!!! You know it’s a weird week when Trump’s boss Vladimir Putin attempts to expand his government powers, causing the entire Russian government to quit, and it’s somehow not the number one story of the week! Yes, that happened. People think that American politics aren’t affected by other countries, well, you’re wrong. Vladimir Putin is, to put it lightly, the devil. And he is attempting to expand his power, despite that most of Russia really, truly hates his guts. Maybe this is the world the gun nuts truly fear, and if so I am with them. At least Dmitry Medvedev had the good sense to quit before things got weird.

The entire Russian government is resigning, Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev announced Wednesday, after Vladimir Putin proposed sweeping reforms that could extend his decades-long grip on power beyond the end of his presidency.

Putin thanked members of the government for their work but added that "not everything worked out." Putin added that in the near future he would meet with each member of the cabinet. The mass resignation includes Medvedev.

The surprise announcement came after Putin proposed constitutional amendments that would strengthen the powers of the prime minister and parliament at the expense of the presidency.
Taking power from the presidency and handing it to parliament could signal a power shift that has been long speculated about in Russia.

Putin's critics have suggested that he is considering various scenarios to retain control of the country after his presidential term ends in 2024, including the option of becoming prime minister with extended powers. Similarly, in 2008 Putin swapped places with the prime minister to circumvent the constitutional provision banning the same person from serving two consecutive terms.

Could you imagine Zombie Lenin and Putin going at it? I would honestly pay the $50 Pay Per View fee to watch that! So what happens next? Now that Putin is on his own does he have a backup government ready to go? Or does he go on his own and go full old school Russian Czar on everyone and declare himself to be his own government? Well that could be a number of ways that could go.

The Russian prime minister and entire government resigned on Wednesday as part of sweeping constitutional changes that could see President Vladimir Putin extend his hold on power.

Putin, in his annual address to parliament, proposed a referendum on amending Russia's constitution to increase the powers of parliament - while maintaining a strong presidential system.

"I consider it necessary to conduct a vote by the country's citizens on an entire package of proposed amendments to the country's constitution," Putin said, without specifying a date for a referendum.

He suggested amending the constitution to allow lawmakers to name prime ministers and cabinet members.

The president currently holds the authority to make those appointments.

"It will increase the role of parliament and parliamentary parties, powers and independence of the prime minister and all cabinet members," Putin said.

Not sure you want to do that, Homer! Especially if things are going the way we think things are going to go there, and it’s not going to end well for anyone involved. Trust me, this is going to get very weird very quickly. And we will continue to monitor the situation as it develops. But do you now see how this could end very badly and why we should be absolutely frightened here that Putin wants to expand his powers past 2024? Another two terms of this crap and there may be no stopping him.

President Vladimir Putin replaced his long-serving prime minister and called for sweeping constitutional changes, fueling speculation that the Russian leader is moving to extend his grip on power beyond the end of his term in 2024.

The constitution now requires Putin to step down as president then but he could take on another post to ensure his continued influence. Putin hasn’t commented on his plans and his proposals didn’t include any overhauls that would have created a new post for him. But the shifts could reduce the sweeping powers currently held by the president, potentially reining in any successor while making other bodies more influential.

Putin gave little public explanation for the dramatic and unexpected upheaval, which saw Dmitry Medvedev, one of his most loyal lieutenants, ousted after nearly 8 years in office. Medvedev became premier in 2012 after stepping down as president to make way for Putin’s return to the Kremlin. He will take a new position as deputy chairman of the Security Council, reporting to Putin.

Putin later nominated Mikhail Mishustin, 53, a low-profile technocrat who heads the Federal Tax Service, as his successor, the Kremlin said. Mishustin will address the State Duma, the lower house of parliament, on Thursday when lawmakers meet to consider his candidacy.

Why does Russia make everything weird? And why do we as a species continue to elect such grossly incompetent leaders and then complain about them? We could elect the other guy and that wouldn’t happen but we choose reactionary. But at least Medvedev had the good sense to send Putin packing.

Vladimir Putin has embarked on a sweeping reshuffle of Russia’s leadership, accepting the resignation of Prime Minister Dmitri Medvedev and proposing constitutional amendments that would enable him to hold onto power even after leaving the presidency in 2024.

In a surprise move, Russia’s government said it would resign in full just hours after Putin announced plans for a national referendum that would shift power away from a successor to the presidency.

Putin’s shakeup sent shock waves through Russia’s political elites, who were left pondering what his intentions were and speculating about future cabinet appointments.

The president is laying the groundwork as he prepares for a transition in 2024 that analysts say will likely see him abandon the presidency but remain Russia’s dominant politician in a beefed-up role as Russia’s prime minister or in the government’s State Council instead.

The 67-year-old has in effect ruled Russia since 2000, making him the longest-serving leader since Stalin, and what he plans to do in 2024 remains the most important political question in the country.

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[font size="8"]Gun Nuts
[br] [/font]

A favorite talking point among America’s super far right gun nutters is “tyranny of the majority” which means that they’re exercising their right to take on a tyrannical government. Well, it should surprise no one that they are the majority (at least they think they are) and they’ve elected the most tyrannical government the US has ever seen. I’m of course talking about the gathering of the gun nuts in Virginia this week in what might be one of the stupidest protests in American history. Most of the time people protest causes that are supposed to benefit people. Climate change. Not wanting to get shot. Those are good causes right? Gun nuts are protesting… not being able to shoot things. And the rally in Virginia was quite the stuff of insanity.

Thousands of gun-rights advocates packed the streets around the Virginia Capitol on Monday, bristling with weapons, flags and threats of insurrection but never erupting into the violence authorities had feared.

Armed militias carrying assault-style weapons marched in formation until the crowds grew too thick. Protesters without firearms filed through 17 metal detectors at a single entrance to Capitol Square, where about 6,000 people cheered fiery speeches on the Second Amendment. A far larger crowd remained outside the square, where they could keep their weapons.

This was the aftershock of last fall’s elections, when thousands of Virginia voters gave majorities in the General Assembly to Democrats who promised to enact gun-control laws. The losing side of that equation thundered through this city’s streets on Monday, backed up by self-styled patriots from all over the country.

‘Why do you need something so big to go the range?’

The paucity of protesters meant that there were few confrontations. For the most part, if strangers spoke to one another, it was to compliment a sign or a firearm.

As the crowd began to thin out, however, one heated conversation drew a small gathering of onlookers.

“Why do you need to have that gun?” Paul Karns asked a 19-year-old in a black leather jacket with a massive .338-caliber Lapua precision rifle slung proudly over his shoulder.

Of course you are, and as to the question as to why gun owners would need something so big… oh fuck it, just go make some penis jokes on your own. I’ll wait. But then of course things got weird. And how did they get weird? Well he showed up. And by him, no, not Trump himself, who was egging on the 2A protestors, but Alex Jones. Who was literally riding around in an armored car. You know for people who hate tyranny, they really are showcasing what a tyrannical government looks like, aren’t they?

Hours after the 18th annual Lobby Day Gun Rally at Capitol Square ended, demonstrators on both sides of the debate have already begun weighing in on the effectiveness of the demonstrations.

People like Jefferey Hopkins who came all the way from Massachusetts hope the number of Second Amendment supporters will make Virginia lawmakers think twice about gun reform legislation.

“My wife and I drove over eight hours to show that the whole country is in supporting Virginia and Virginians in their Second Amendment rights,” said Jeffery Hopkins. “I’m hoping people realize that gun owners are not violent people and we don’t want our hands to be tied when it comes to the protection of our loved ones.”

The event’s organizer, Philip Van Cleave with the Virginia Citizens Defense League, called the gun rally a success saying that he was pleased with the event and that the Second Amendment supporters “were a group of people whose voices were heard.”

But major players on the other side of the gun debate like gun reform activist Adam Parker say their voices were louder.

Yeah probably. But things could have been way worse. I mean get a bunch of big fat white guys with itchy trigger fingers and some really big guns into a small area? Thank god nothing set them off or this could have gone very badly for them. And guess what? You know how we joke about how they have a false flag equivalency for everything (see: Idiots #5-7 and Idiots #4-13)? Well of course Infowars has to go and float that conspiracy!

Infowars associate and former Navy SEAL Matt Bracken is giving out tactical advice to white nationalist audiences about attending a pro-gun rally in Virginia Monday and laying the groundwork to bolster “false-flag” conspiracy theories in the event of violence.

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam declared a state of emergency ahead of the Jan. 20 pro-gun event at the state’s capitol in Richmond in response to threats of violence and reports that violent hate groups may attend. On Thursday, the FBI arrested neo-Nazis who had discussed opening fire at the event and who possessed an assault rifle and a cache of ammunition.

Although he does not plan to go to the event Monday, Bracken gave a nearly two-hour interview Friday about the rally to the web-based outlet Red Ice, which acts a megaphone for white nationalist and white supremacist rhetoric. Bracken claimed that the FBI arrested the neo-Nazis in order to fabricate a timeline of events that the agency could later use to smear people opposed to gun control laws. He also compared the FBI to the East German Stasi and attempted to downplay the threat the violent neo-Nazis posed to the event.

“[The FBI] arrested them because they’re setting a narrative. They’re basically putting up the background music, the subliminal background music, that really, really bad white racist nationalists are coming to Richmond and we’ve got to stop them,” Bracken said. “So no matter what happens on Monday in Richmond—if there’s any shooting or there’s somebody driving a car into a crowd—believe me, it’s going to be blamed on the 2nd Amendment.”

No bribes here! But at least the gun nuts showed that they are capable of good clean fun, whatever that may be. Once they are done gulping down buckets of Jim Bakker’s end times prepper food in preps for whatever excuse of a rally that was, at least they cleaned up their mess. Could they clean up the mess caused by their president? I’m guessing probably not.

As thousands descended upon Richmond for a pro-gun rally on Monday, stickers ended up stuck to the pavement. A Salem man encouraged attendees to clean up the mess.

Elyas Christley traveled to Capitol Square joining other gun-rights activists voicing their opposition to plans by the state's Democratic leadership to pass gun-control legislation.

An estimated 22,000 people showed up. Many wore bright orange stickers that said "Guns Save Lives," which were handed out by the Virginia Citizens Defense League.

Christley grabbed a black plastic bag and yelled his "trash call" at 8th and Main Streets urging people to clean up the mess littering the roadway.

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[font size="8"]Houston Astros
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I know this isn’t really anything to do with politics but it’s dominating the news and I am OK so there’s no icons for “World Series stealer” or “being a cheating douchebag”. But what I am about to say, I say this as a baseball fan and in particular an AL West fan. Houston Astros, fuck you. Yeah the sooner you realize that the better. Also, Alex Cora - fuck you too. If you’re a sports fan at all the fact that the Houston Astros cheated their way to a World Series and Alex Cora won a world series the following year should both disgust and sicken you. And by the way Alex Cora and Jose Altuve really aren’t helping things. If anything they’re making the situation worse. Come on, MLB, seriously, Pete Rose got banned for less than this.

For the first time since MLB issued a nine-page report on the Houston Astros high-tech sign-stealing scandal, Houston players spoke to the media at the team's FanFest over the weekend. It did not go well. Astros players, including stars Alex Bregman and Jose Altuve, handled the situation the wrong way, says former MLB executive David Samson.

Samson, on the latest episode of Nothing Personal with David Samson, said when Altuve answered questions there was "zero contrition, zero I'm sorry's."

"He is combative. He becomes a predictor," Samson said. "'We're gonna win the World Series. We're gonna be in the World Series. We did nothing wrong. At the end of the year everything's going to be fine.'"

Samson called this a "disgrace" and said if this was his team, he would have prepared the players with answers to every possible question. He also calls out the team for not making the players available before the fan event, saying this is not the time or place to be discussing the sign-stealing investigation and that it should've happened prior to a public event.

Oh fuck off. You know who else said that that they’re doing nothing wrong? Donald J. Trump, and you know how well that’s going! So what do actual baseball players think of the latest allegations surrounding the Houston Astros and Alex Cora? Well, behind the scenes the managers and owners are furious about the Astros’ cheating scandal and rightfully so. They pretty much ruined it, and don’t think the Red Sox are immune from this either. Pretty much anyone under the influence of Alex Cora is now highly suspect.

Multiple ownership-level sources told ESPN that dissatisfaction with the penalties had emerged following a conference call with Manfred, in which he explained how the Astros would be disciplined, then told teams to keep their thoughts to themselves.

"The impression," one person familiar with the call told ESPN, "was that the penalty for complaining would be more than Houston got."

The concern over any possible discipline for breaking ranks didn't entirely silence teams. At 12:30 a.m. ET on Tuesday, the Los Angeles Dodgers, who lost the 2017 World Series in seven games to an Astros team that MLB's investigation confirmed cheated during that postseason, released a statement that read: "All clubs have been asked by Major League Baseball not to comment on today's punishment of the Houston Astros as it's inappropriate to comment on discipline imposed on another club. The Dodgers have also been asked not to comment on any wrongdoing during the 2017 World Series and will have no further comment at this time."

Run through a passive-aggressive translator, the Dodgers' words mirrored what a team president had said earlier in the day.

"Crane won," he said. "The entire thing was programmed to protect the future of the franchise. He got his championship. He keeps his team. His fine is nothing. The sport lost, but Crane won."

Yeah this whole thing with the Astros really is kind of like Mr. Burns stuffing a beer league team with World Series caliber players. Now the control group for this whole thing - what does an actual Houston Astro think of the sign stealing scandal? Let’s ask OF Josh Reddick, who was actually on the 2017 team that won the World Series, what he thinks of the whole ordeal. And this is coming from someone who was on the inside.

Outfielder Josh Reddick addresses the media Thursday at an Astros Caravan appearance at St. Arnold’s Brewery. Reddick did not add any details to the Astros cheating scandal other than to say the situation "stinks."

Outfielder Josh Reddick addresses the media Thursday at an Astros Caravan appearance at St. Arnold’s Brewery. Reddick did not add any details to the Astros cheating scandal other than to say the situation "stinks."Photo: Karen Warren, Karen Warren / Staff photographer Houston Astros outfielder Josh Reddick is interviewed by local media members before the start on the Astros Caravan at St. Arnold’s Brewery, in Houston, January 16, 2020. Reddick did not add any details to the Astros cheating scandal other than to say the situation "stinks."

Houston Astros outfielder Josh Reddick is interviewed by local media members before the start on the Astros Caravan at St. Arnold’s Brewery, in Houston, January 16, 2020. Reddick did not add any details to the Astros cheating scandal other than to say the situation "stinks."Photo: Karen Warren, Staff photographer

A stark silence ended Thursday. A player who witnessed the Astros’ electronic sign-stealing scheme finally spoke. Josh Reddick offered scant specifics. Afforded the opportunity, the outfielder did not signal any regret.

The scandal has cost four men their jobs, called into question the legitimacy of the 2017 World Series championship, and thrown the Astros into immediate upheaval.

“It just stinks,” Reddick said. “It stinks for everybody involved.”

Damn straight it does! And if this was a managerial decision, what does that say about the players and staff who were unwitting pawns? Well let’s take a look at one of the whistleblowers in this whole damn scenario. So the Astros used some James Bond level tech to cheat. Actually they really just used things available at your local Best Buy. But nevertheless, what they did was wrong and they should absolutely be punished for it.

Last November, former Chicago White Sox pitcher Danny Farquhar said in an interview with the Athletic that he had heard banging coming from the Astros dugout when he was pitching in a September 2017 game in Houston.

As soon as he read that Athletic story, O’Brien said he searched for the tape of the game, found it, and posted a video, which, in clear and precise terms, walks viewers through the scheme. It has been viewed 2.7 million times since it was posted last November, according to YouTube.

It clearly shows a huge advantage for the Astros’ hitter, Evan Gattis. Fans concerned about the game’s purity give O’Brien credit for taking the episode seriously.

The MLB’s official report found there was a sense of “panic” in the Astros dugout after Farquhar appeared to notice the banging, which Farquhar came to believe alerted Astros to calls for off-speed pitches from White Sox catcher Kevan Smith.

In O’Brien’s video, Farquhar, since retired from the game, calls timeout and apparently confers at the mound with Smith over the need to change signs. He goes on to get the hitter out with a changeup.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: You Snooze You Lose
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

The science of sleep is a complex and tricky one. And if you cannot sleep, which is a lot of us, there’s many ways that can help that. One of which is a sleep apnea machine. However, if you do use a sleep apnea machine or are heavily considering one, you should be aware that one of the world’s top manufacturers of such devices is currently under fire. You may have been unfairly targeted by ResMed if you are a customer considering a device. And they’re not the only company in the sleep apnea business that is engaging in this practice. If you feel that you were unfairly targeted by some aggressively shady business practices, well, you’re not alone.

ResMed, a San Diego, Calif.-based company that sells sleep apnea machines, will pay $37.5 million to settle allegations that it provided kickbacks to obtain customer referrals, federal prosecutors announced this week.

The settlement covers five whistleblower lawsuits filed on behalf of the federal government. The lawsuits say that the company provided free services and equipment to medical equipment suppliers, sleep labs and other health care providers in violation of the federal False Claims Act.

“Paying any type of illegal remuneration to induce patient referrals undermines the integrity of our nation’s health care system,” Jody Hunt, head of the U.S. Justice Department’s civil division, said in a statement. “When a patient receives a prescription for a device to treat a health care condition, the patient deserves to know that the device was selected based on quality of care considerations and not on unlawful payments from equipment manufacturers.”

ResMed didn’t acknowledge any wrongdoing in the settlement but agreed to tighten controls on its pricing and sales.

In a statement, the company said it settled to avoid “the expense, inconvenience and distraction” of continuing the legal fight.

But even if you are in the market for a CPAP machine, getting one can be a nightmare for the people who actually need one. Insurance companies don’t make it easy for people to obtain devices like this that they actually need. And if the provider is under fire for aggressively targeting customers, that negates the people who might actually really need a machine like this because a sleeping disorder can affect how they work and live.

As many CPAP users discover, the life-altering device comes with caveats: Health insurance companies are often tracking whether patients use them. If they aren't, the insurers might not cover the machines or the supplies that go with them. And, faced with the popularity of CPAPs — which can cost $400 to $800 — and their need for replacement filters, face masks and hoses, health insurers have deployed a host of tactics that can make the therapy more expensive or even price it out of reach.

Patients have been required to rent CPAPs at rates that total much more than the retail price of the devices, or they've discovered that the supplies would be substantially cheaper if they didn't have insurance at all.

Experts who study health care costs say insurers' CPAP strategies are part of the industry's playbook of shifting the costs of widely used therapies, devices and tests to unsuspecting patients.

"The doctors and providers are not in control of medicine anymore," says Harry Lawrence, owner of Advanced Oxy-Med Services, a New York company that provides CPAP supplies. "It's strictly the insurance companies. They call the shots."

Insurers say their concerns are legitimate. The masks and hoses can be cumbersome and noisy, and studies show that about one third of patients don't use their CPAPs as directed.

So insurance can make or break a claim on a sleep apnea machine. But what if you’re trying to make a claim through your employer and you’re denied? Here’s where it gets highly suspect. Let’s take this case that recently went before SCOTUS where a truck driver attempted to obtain a sleep apnea machine and sued the company to get it. That case went all the way before SCOTUS and they ruled in favor of the company and not of the driver.

The Supreme Court has ruled it will not hear a truck driver’s lawsuit against Crete Carrier Corp., leaving in place a lower court ruling in favor of Crete and its policy to require testing for obstructive sleep apnea for certain truckers.

Crete (No. 22 in the CCJ Top 250) driver Robert Parker sued the carrier in 2013, arguing the carrier’s apnea-screening program violates drivers’ rights within the American Disabilities Act.

The 8th Circuit Court of Appeals issued a decision in October upholding the legality of Crete’s policy, calling it “legitimate and non-discriminatory.” Only outranked by the Supreme Court, the 8th Circuit’s decision is likely the case’s final verdict. Parker sued seeking back pay and reinstate of employment when he was fired for refusing an in-lab sleep study after Crete ordered him to be tested.

The decision could set a precedent for other courts, meaning carriers nationwide can install such apnea-screening programs and not be subject to court-ordered payouts.

Crete instituted the policy in 2010. It requires all driver applicants with a body mass index of 35 or greater to be screened for sleep apnea via an in-lab study.

But we don’t want you to think this is all doom and gloom for sleep apnea sufferers. There is a cure out there that could alleviate the machine and make it easier for people to obtain a good night’s sleep. This drug is a bit… controversial. Some might say it is even something that would not be good for you if you inhaled too much of it. But it is a drug that is all natural and would be a good alternative to a sleep apnea machine. OK, that drug is weed.

Three out-of-state residents – including a former state Cabinet secretary – filed a lawsuit Thursday over the New Mexico Department of Health’s denial of their applications to be license-carrying patients in the state’s medical cannabis program.

The lawsuit, filed in state District Court in Santa Fe, asks a judge to order Health Department officials to issue medical marijuana licenses to the three individuals – and any other out-of-state residents who have a qualifying medical condition and apply for a license.

The dispute hinges on the Department of Health’s interpretation of changes to the state’s medical cannabis program that were signed into law by Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham and took effect June 14.


The Health Department spokesman did not respond Thursday to questions about the lawsuit being filed.

The lawsuits’ three plaintiffs are Harold Meyers and Laura Sias, both Texas residents, and Duke Rodriguez, an Arizona resident who is Ultra Health’s president and CEO. Rodriguez is also a former New Mexico human services secretary.

Two of the plaintiffs suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and the other plaintiff has been diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea, according to the lawsuit. Those two conditions are among the 28 qualifying conditions for participation in New Mexico’s medical cannabis program.

The lawsuit argues that out-of-state residents with state-issued medical pot licenses would not necessarily transport marijuana across state lines, because potential applicants could own second homes in New Mexico or travel to the state for business or medical reasons.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Amherst! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know we talk a lot of crap about super right wing Christian fundamentalists but there’s people like this in every religion. And the war is the same – it’s traditional vs modern. And I say this because there’s a group of let’s say old men, in this country who do not embrace change. Take for instance our good friends in the Catholic Church. Now don’t boo. Don’t boo. The Catholic Church has long looked to overturn this barbaric practice of priests and celibacy. And it’s a fight that goes back centuries. But while they’ve made great strides with Pope Francis, a former pope, Pope Benedict, has stepped in and well, he’s got some thoughts.

Retired Pope Benedict XVI, who promised to remain silent when he resigned as head of the Roman Catholic Church seven years ago, has stepped back into the ongoing debate over priestly celibacy with a new book defending the traditionalist view.

The surprise move is seen as a rebuke to Pope Francis, who is weighing the possibility of a revolutionary move to relax the strict celibacy requirement for ordination in some South American countries where the shortage of priests is particularly acute.

In the as-yet-unpublished book, whose title translates as From the Depths of Our Hearts, Benedict and his co-author, Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah, defend the "necessity" of celibacy in the priesthood. On Sunday, the French newspaper Le Figaro printed excerpts, which were also obtained by The Associated Press.

"The priesthood of Jesus Christ causes us to enter into a life that consists of becoming one with him and renouncing all that belongs only to us," the pope emeritus writes. "For priests, this is the foundation of the necessity of celibacy but also of liturgical prayer, meditation on the Word of God and the renunciation of material goods."

Yes, Pope Benedict, you might want to sit this one out. And I’ve seen Spotlight, I know what goes on behind closed confessional booths. So you’re booing me now. Ah, so now the tables have turned, haven’t they? But this war goes deep, my fair congregation. So deep that it could have some devastating long term effects on the Vatican itself.

At the beginning of the week, the insider Catholic universe imploded when news broke that retired Pope Benedict XVI and Guinean Cardinal Robert Sarah had co-authored a new book defending priestly celibacy just as Pope Francis is considering an exception to the rule proposed during the Amazon synod.

In the fierce and polemical debate that ensued, the role of a pope emeritus was questioned while Catholicism’s conservative and progressive camps exchanged arguments over Benedict XVI’s intentions with the book, titled From the Depths of Our Hearts: Priesthood, Celibacy and the Crisis of the Catholic Church, which hit shelves Jan. 15 in France.

The saga culminated with Archbishop Georg Ganswein, personal secretary for Benedict XVI, saying the emeritus pope had asked that his name be withdrawn as a coauthor and removed from the book’s introduction and conclusion. Citing the Chicago Manual of Style, however, the English-language publisher, Ignatius Press, said it considers the publication “coauthored.”

Though unprecedented is perhaps the wrong word to describe the bizarre episode, it was certainly odd, as Sarah, an active sitting cardinal who heads the Vatican’s liturgy office, took to social media to defend his credibility, issuing several statements and publishing correspondence between himself and Benedict - things that heads of Vatican departments don’t typically do.

And by the way in case you’re wondering if the Catholic Church is in full “move along, nothing to see here” mode, whew, oh boy are they ever. But really Pope Benedict, you might want to sit this one out, especially after new allegations are surfacing against priests and abuse. The only real crisis here is that there’s a bunch of abusers and they are showing no remorse for the victims that they abused. Pope Francis is trying to steer the church in a much more modern tradition.

The Vatican on Monday sought to downplay the decision by retired Pope Benedict XVI to reaffirm the “necessity” of a celibate priesthood at the same time that Pope Francis is considering ordaining married men, calling his book a mere contribution that was written in full obedience to Francis.

The Vatican’s editorial director, Andrea Tornielli, penned an editorial that sought to put Benedict’s bombshell book in the context of a continuity between the two popes. He noted that Francis, too, has upheld the “gift” of priestly celibacy and refused to make it optional across the board.

The French daily Le Figaro late Sunday published excerpts of the book “From the Depths of Our Hearts: Priesthood, Celibacy and the Crisis of the Catholic Church," co-authored with conservative Cardinal Robert Sarah; The Associated Press obtained galleys of the English edition, which is being published Feb. 20 by Ignatius Press.

Benedict’s intervention was extraordinary, given he had promised to remain “hidden from the world” when he retired in 2013, and pledged his obedience to the new pope. He has largely held to that pledge, though he penned an odd essay last year that blamed the sexual abuse crisis on the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

That is a good point Reverend, but we’ll save that for a different sermon. Because I’m sure that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want! And really by the way, give it up for my choir, how great are they? So if the Catholic Church can’t get it together on priests and marriage, what can they get it together on? Well don’t expect them to come to a conclusion anytime soon.

Former pope Benedict XVI has publicly urged his successor Pope Francis not to open the Catholic priesthood up to married men, in a plea that Sunday stunned Vatican experts.

The ex-pontiff, who retired in 2013, issued the defence of clerical celibacy in a book written with arch-conservative Cardinal Robert Sarah, extracts of which were published in exclusive by France's Le Figaro.

"I cannot keep silent!" Benedict wrote in the book, which follows an extraordinary meeting of bishops from the Amazonian at the Vatican last year that recommended the ordination of married men in certain circumstances.

The pope emeritus, 92, and Sarah from Guinea weighed in on the controversial question of whether or not to allow "viri probati" -- married "men of proven virtue" -- to join the priesthood.

Francis is currently considering allowing it in remote locations, such as the Amazon, where communities seldom have Mass due to a lack of priests, and is expected to publish his decision in the coming weeks.

Yes so if we learned anything during our sermon today, just about everything is a sin, and this might be one of the most egregious of all! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Your Celebrity’s Political Opinions
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Can we be friends with people who may do something even slightly controversial? Yeah that may be a stupid question, but this is the year 2020, where social media freaks out at the slightest mention of a person’s team or vice. I mean just look at BTS fans, shit, they freak out if one of the members so much as gets out of bed in the morning! But take a look at what’s happened the last couple of weeks. Sure, you had Ellen DeGeneres hanging out with George W Bush, and now you have Vince Vaughn hanging out with Donald Trump. I mean what’s a guy like that going to do in that situation? Punch Trump in the face slow motion style? Seriously, can we just take a step back and pull our heads out of each other’s asses and act like civilized adults here? No? Sigh.

President Trump and first lady Melania Trump watched LSU and Clemson battle it out for the college football championship in New Orleans on Monday night – and they were seated near another famous face. Actor Vince Vaughn also attended the game, and was seen chatting with the president and first lady.

The Trumps were greeted with cheers as they took the field for the national anthem before the game. Some fans cheered "USA, USA," and others chanted, "Four more years," according to the Associated Press.

Video captured by another fan showed the Trumps shaking hands with Vaughn, and then having a conversation with him as the rest of the stadium sang "Sweet Caroline." While there is no audio of their conversation, it appeared to be pleasant, with Mr. Trump shaking the actor's hand and smiling.

"I'm very sorry to have to share this video with you. All of it, every part of it," journalist Timothy Burke wrote on Twitter, sharing the video of the interaction.

Oh come on! Has anyone cared about anything that Vince Vaughn has done since Wedding Crashers? I wonder how many times he gets asked where the meatloaf is? I mean come on, this is rage bait taken to some new extremes. And the funny thing is – conservatives are the ones who are trying to get us to be mad at this, and it’s backfiring on them big time!

The morning after a clip of actor Vince Vaughn having a brief, amicable conversation with President Donald Trump and first lady Melania Trump in a private box at the national championship college football game in New Orleans went viral, Fox News went to desperate lengths to make it seem as though Democrats are mad about it.

The problem, however, is that there isn’t much evidence anyone aside from right-wingers is actually mad.

In fact, Fox News’s article about how Vaughn supposedly “faces liberal outrage after he was seen with Trump during national championship game” prominently features a tweet from Washington Examiner staffer Siraj Hashmi, who is hardly a liberal, sarcastically quipping that “Ladies & gentlemen, I regret to inform you Vince Vaughn is CANCELED” — but the tweet is presented in David Aaro’s article as though Hashmi is a liberal who meant it earnestly.

Hashmi later noted on Twitter that the Fox News article caused right-wing trolls to flood his Instagram page with abusive comments. And the few other examples of “liberal outrage” in the piece were gleaned from the far fringes of Twitter. (Fox News still hasn’t figured out that Hashmi isn’t actually liberal as of Tuesday afternoon — his tweet was falsely cited as an example of “liberal cancel culture” on Outnumbered.)

The clip of the conversation between Trump and Vaughn — a libertarian who supported Rand Paul’s presidential bid — was originally posted to Twitter by former Deadspin staffer Timothy Burke, who wrote, “I’m very sorry to have to share this video with you. All of it, every part of it.”

So we can add “fake outrage” to the list of things conservatives royally suck at! But Vince Vaughn wasn’t the only celebrity who got hammered over their comments this week. Take a look at what happened to Stephen King. Yes, that Stephen King, the guy who gave us “It” and “The Shining”. So apparently he made some comments about how the Oscars should choose the best movies and not for diversity, and well, once again the internet lost their collective shit, but apparently only white males were the ones who were offended.

It started, as it so often does, with a series of tweets from someone famous enough to need a social-media manager. Early Tuesday morning, the author Stephen King logged on to Twitter to share his thoughts about the fact that the Oscar nominees, announced the day before, included no female directors and a single actor of color. “As a writer, I am allowed to nominate in just 3 categories: Best Picture, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Original Screenplay. For me, the diversity issue—as it applies to individual actors and directors, anyway—did not come up. That said,” King added, “I would never consider diversity in matters of art. Only quality. It seems to me that to do otherwise would be wrong.”

And thus the usual forces were set in motion: responses from disappointed peers and moviegoers alike, and an apparent backtracking of the ill-conceived comments within the same day. “You can’t win awards if you’re shut out of the game,” King wrote, acknowledging the structural challenges that many creators face. For those who have followed the industry’s responses to widespread calls for greater diversity, especially since the #OscarsSoWhite campaign began five years ago, cycles like this are a familiar part of the awards season. After a Golden Globes that featured many presenters of color but a primarily white set of winners, this year’s Oscar and BAFTA Awards nominations didn’t deviate much from a well-worn script either. (Cynthia Erivo, the only Oscar-nominated actor of color this year, stars in HBO’s adaptation of King’s The Outsider and offered an implicit critique of the author’s tweets when asked about them on Wednesday.)

The Academy’s perceived snubs—of actors such as Us’s Lupita Nyong’o and Hustlers’ Jennifer Lopez, along with directors such as Little Women’s Greta Gerwig and The Farewell’s Lulu Wang—are as unfortunate as they are predictable. And comments like King’s reveal a major reason why: Diversity is too often discussed as something separate from, or even in conflict with, artistic virtue. It is treated as an abstract concept meant to materialize without industry gatekeepers and Oscar voters, such as King, challenging their own possibly narrow views and instituting different practices. Put more plainly, the lack of representation is regularly talked about as a problem, but one for someone else to solve and for other institutions to address.

No, Ron, that’s not the kind of diversity we’re talking about. But when it comes to who is being triggered, this once again opens up one of the biggest circular firing squads of all time. But really this whole thing is getting really out of hand. Just because your favorite celebrity may hang with people who you consider “the enemy” or they say something that may “offend you”, can we just let it go? Oh wait, this is 2020 we were talking about here. Crap only our 3rd edition of the year and I need to go on vacation.

Famed writer Stephen King has stirred up controversy after admitting he “would never consider diversity in matters of art,” a remark made in reference to his status as a member of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS) voting on Oscar contenders. His remarks come a day after the 2020 Oscar nominations were announced, prompting complaints that women and people of color were largely overlooked. Many critics bemoaned the exclusion of women like Greta Gerwig from the Best Director category, while Harriet’s Cynthia Erivo spoke out about being the only person of color to be nominated across four acting categories.

King, whose prolific career has included big-screen adaptations of stories like The Shining, The Shawshank Redemption, Misery and Carrie, took to Twitter to address the “diversity issue.” The author explained that he is allowed to vote for three non-acting categories — Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay and Best Adapted Screenplay — and only judges entries based on “quality,” not “diversity.” (Across the two screenplay categories, two women, Little Women’s Greta Gerwig and 1917 co-writer Krysty Wilson-Cairns were nominated, as were South Koreans Bong Joon-ho and Jin Won Han (Parasite), Just Mercy’s Destin Daniel Cretton, whose mother is Japanese-American, and JoJo Rabbit’s Taika Waititi, whose father is Māori.)

But King’s comments had critics accusing him of having white privilege, dismissing the systemic bias against minorities, and implying that diverse work lacks quality. Director Ava DuVernay, of Selma and When They See Us fame, was among those calling out the author’s “backward and ignorant statement,” while writer Roxane Gay tweeted, “quality is everywhere but most industries only believe in quality from one demographic.”

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[font size="8"]NO! REM Vs Trump Round 3
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One of my favorite things about this current political climate that we live in is when a right wing politician gets caught with their pants down when they use a song without the artists’ approval. It’s happened time and time again. And it seems that no matter what song Trump uses, whether it’s REM’s classic “Everybody Hurts” or it’s the Rolling Stones’ “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” in his rallies, everyone seems to have an opinion. And by the way, You Can’t Always Get What You Want perfectly describes the Trump administration. in fact I’d even say it’s a metaphor. But not everyone is feeling why Trump has been using these songs, and Michael Stipe himself is telling Trump that he can’t do it.

R.E.M. is not feeling fine.

The Georgia-based rock band is considering legal action to stop President Donald Trump from playing the group's popular music at his rallies.

The notice came by means of bassist Mike Mills' Twitter account. He tweeted after Tuesday night's Trump rally featured "Everybody Hurts" and "Losing My Religion."

"We are exploring all legal avenues to prevent this, but if that's not possible please know that we do not condone the use of our music by this fraud and con man," bassist Mike Mills posted.

The band, which disbanded in September 2011, has sparred with Trump over playing their music for years.

Last year, Trump retweeted a video playing "Everybody Hurts" over clips of Democrats looking not too pleased at his State of the Union address. Mills responded by tweeting, "Measures have been taken to stop it," and called on Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey to "get on this." Twitter eventually took down the video.


Yes, this feud has been ongoing for quite a while. We previously covered this in Top 10 #6-7. But it’s not going away anytime soon. And – this may *NOT* surprise you but it’s also not the first time that Trump has been caught with his pants down using a song that he didn’t have permission for. This week. And this one doesn’t have anything to do with the artists’ political opinions either.

Another day, another tweet from President Trump. But Thursday night’s tweet featured both a familiar refrain from Trump as well as a familiar tune, at least to seasoned League of Legends players and esports fans like veteran journalist Rod Breslau.

The background music may sound like any old generic hype track, but the tune is actually the song that played during a past season of the League of Legends Championship Series, the world’s most popular esport. Here’s the SoundCloud track with the same song.

League of Legends publisher, Riot Games told The Washington Post on Friday that it does not own the rights to the song. Instead, it is available for use by anyone who signs up with Universal Production Music, a business-to-business company that produces and licenses songs for use in movies, trailers, games and ads.

The song, “The Throw Down,” by Gregg Lehrman, features “insistent and quick staccato strings” and a “driving hip-hop beat” with “huge distorted guitars, and a sweeping melodic orchestra as it builds to a climax,” according to Universal’s website. It’s featured in the 2012 collection, “Hip-hop Symphony No. 1” under the “epic urban” genre.

Eventually it’s going to be down to Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, and that guitar army from Idiocracy. And by the way in case you’re wondering just how effective music is at Trump’s rallies, there’s a very real possibility that this is the linked playlist. It’s really just the same playlist you’d find on the 70s station at your local Starbucks or XM radio channel. The biggest surprise is his use of the Village People’s “Macho Man”. Come on, doesn’t he know the history of the Village People? I guess not.

President Donald Trump on Monday was running behind schedule, but the officers at the International Association of Chiefs of Police Conference were pleasantly occupied enjoying the music.

A police captain in a cowboy hat and Trump 2020 socks was bobbing his head to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” A sales representative from a body camera vendor was Shazaaming The Animals’ “House of the Rising Sun.” And when the Village People’s “Macho Man” blasted through the Skyline Ballroom’s PA system at around 10:15 a.m., there was audible laughter—someone even remarked about “the psychology” of playing this particular song at a Trump event for cops.

The music was so good that when Paul Cell, the president of the IACP, took the stage, his first order of business was to solicit a round of applause, not for the president, but for the playlist. While the music at Donald Trump rallies has been extensively covered by the media, the president, unlike nearly every other candidate looking to seize his office in 2020, has yet to release his official playlist—a fact made puzzling by the sheer volume of bangers the playlist seems to contain.

While such a file might seem imminently attainable through existing public records laws, under the Presidential Records Act, most presidential records can not be released until five years after the president leaves office. However, Gizmodo identified a 67-song Spotify playlist maintained by a member of the White House Advance Office that appears to contain nearly all, if not all, of the president’s allegedly hand-picked rally songs.

OK if Trump wants to use music at his rallies, he should at the very least find out whether or not that artist likes him at first. And if he wants his music cred to be known, maybe if you’re trying to go for some live music at your rallies, don’t do this. This might be my favorite part of one of his recent rallies – he hired a band that goes by the name of “Live Music”. Yes, that is their name. And this one I did Google – they actually do exist. No, I’m not talking about the actual band Live, which is a far better 90s alternative rock band, I’m talking about a band called Live Music.

Before President Donald Trump's rally Thursday night at American Airlines Center, thousands of ardent supporters gathered outside on Victory Plaza to tailgate. A video of the festivities made the rounds on Twitter, offering images of red-hatted Trumpsters dancing to ... a band.

Which band, you ask? So do we. Despite the huge numbers of local and national press on the scene, we haven't been able to find the name of the band. News reports said only that the rally offered "live music." Maybe that was the band's name: Live Music. Sort of like The Band, but definitely not The Band.

And that's sort of our point: If you’re going to wage a culture war against your political opponents, it helps to have an actual sense of culture. As the video demonstrates, Trump’s base is severely lacking on this front. I mean, come on. Those line array speakers mounted on both sides of the stage must be at least $25,000. A stage this size would easily be able to accommodate the back line of an artist who normally plays midsized venues.

So why waste all of this on a band whose name nobody even knows? OK, presumably someone does. Drop us a line in the comments if you do, unless the band was playing incognito. We get that: A paying gig's a gig, gotta eat, etc. No judgment here. We'll reserve that for Trump's enabling political appointees.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone I don’t know about you but I could really use a drink!

So of course you know the idea behind this is that we have a few drinks and discuss anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because you should never combine booze and politics. Well this one may be borderline because we are going to be discussing robots in this segment. So tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about robots? I’m apparently being told that my bartender is being replaced with something called a “Robot Drink Buddy”. OK so tell me Robot Drink Buddy, what do you recommend? A Cadillac margarita already pre-mixed in your blender? OK sure, I will try one of those, easy on the salt. Hmm… not bad. But the reason why I bring this up is because robots were all the rage at CES this year and there’s everything from bathroom pals to robotic prosthetics as seen in Star Wars.

CES 2020 played host to a huge collection of strutting and rolling robots, designed to handle everything from everyday chores to nurturing human kindness. Perhaps as a reflection of our increasingly high-stress lifestyles, this year's show was also populated by a surprising number of robots designed to provide companionship and alleviate loneliness.

Robot pets are nothing new (Sony's dog-bot Aibo made its debut in 1999), but the new generation of mechanical beasts are quite different; all soft fur and limpid eyes, designed to appeal to our need to protect and nurture.

The future is surprisingly cuddly – so after much petting, tickling and fussing, here's our guide to the best robots of CES 2020…

MarsCat is a robotic pet that appears, at first glance, to be a feline version of Sony’s robot pup Aibo, but the two are actually quite different. While you can’t teach an old Aibo new tricks, MarsCat is open source and controlled by a Raspberry Pi, so you can tinker with it to your heart’s content.

Thankfully we haven’t got to those kinds of robots yet, but seeing as how humans just can’t control their insatiable blood lust, we might get there. But this is my favorite story to come out of CES, and that is coming from everyone’s favorite toilet paper manufacturer Charmin. Yes, the company responsible for those commercials featuring talking bears rapping about how clean their assholes are, is bringing us some bizarre and potentially useful bathroom technology!

When Charmin announced its new toilet experience innovations earlier this week, including a pooptime robot pal, we knew we had to see them for ourselves on the CES show floor.

Hollywood mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg was discussing his billion dollar startup Quibi with Procter & Gamble’s Chief Brand Officer Marc Pritchard a mere 10 feet away, but camera crews from media outlets like ourselves and CNN were more obsessed with experiencing bad puns and toilet humor from the folks at Charmin.

The future bathroom concepts were surely the talk of CES this week. Heck, the invention was even skewered by Stephen Colbert.

GeekWire Managing Editor Taylor Soper got a first-hand look at three new toilet technology concepts: the RollBot, SmellSense, and V.I.Pee. His conclusion?

“The future of the bathroom smells rosy and will never, ever lack toilet paper,” he said. “Absolutely incredible.”

RollBot is a Bluetooth-enabled robot designed to deliver a fresh roll of toilet paper to you when you unexpectedly run out on the throne.
SmellSense combines a fart sensor with an LED display that alerts you whether or not a bathroom is safe or toxic to enter.
V.I.Pee provides an Oculus Rift S VR headset at concerts and events so that you don’t have to miss any of the action while you are answering nature’s call.

Well let’s hope it doesn’t come to that! So Charmin has laid out the future of bathroom technology although we suspect that V.R. Pee will be used more for evil instead of good. But while Charmin has its’ eye on the restroom, Toyota is setting it’s sites on conquering whole cities. Tesla may have pioneered the concept of the electric car but Toyota is taking it a step further. Think Bruce Wayne’s cell phone tech from the Dark Knight.

At CES 2020, the president of Toyota Motor Corporation, Akio Toyoda, began his company’s official press conference by appearing to announce a flying car. And a giant robot.

Neither of those announcements turned out to be real (which we are very sad about), but he made up for that with what came next—his reveal of the company’s plans to build a brand new ‘prototype’ city.

Built on the site of an old Toyota plant at the base of Mt. Fuji, Woven City will be 175 acres of futuristic buildings and infrastructure designed to explore how humans and robots can thrive together. It’s all just concepts and renderings so far, with construction slated to start in 2021. And if Toyota can make this happen, it could be incredible.

When Woven City is complete, if you want to do research on urban autonomy or long-term human robot interactions, then you can just move into the city for a while and work from there. With a population made up of both long-term residents and guest researchers, it will be a unique chance, Toyota says, to test and develop new technologies in a real-world environment. Or at least, an environment that’s as real as a fantasy city can be.

Woven City will be designed by Danish architect Bjarke Ingels, who described the typical street that you find in most cities today as “a mess, with everything and nothing everywhere.” Ingels split the streets in Woven City into three separate tree-covered routes, one each for fully autonomous vehicles, personal mobility systems, and pedestrians. The three routes are all woven together (hence the city’s name and logo) into a grid of three-by-three blocks, each framing a park or courtyard.

Could you imagine driving an autonomous car to a restaurant where autonomous robots serve you drinks like our Robot Drink Buddy is doing? I mean I don’t want to think that we’re heading toward a blank planet but it does seem like that’s our future. But then again we could be merging toward more of a Jetsons or Futurama like future where humans and robots co-exist. But if the robots of the future are anything like the humans of today, don’t count on it.

Robots have been a major part of CES for years, but they have usually been consumer-focused robots, such as the Roomba vacuum cleaner, robot toys such as those from UBTECH, or educational robot systems and similar offerings. At CES 2020, however, we saw major robotics companies that focus on industrial and commercial robotics applications increasingly finding spots on the show floor.

Companies such as FANUC, Doosan Robotics, and OMRON all had a major presence on the South Hall expo floor in the AI & Robotics area at CES 2020 last wee. They showed off robots, vehicles, and other technologies that would more likely be seen at an industrial trade show, such as Automate or ProMat. For many of these companies, it was an opportunity to be seen at the same event as companies showing off 8K television sets, new home theater speaker systems, or AR/VR gaming systems. Often, it felt like robotics companies were doing a “show and tell” session for CES attendees.

This was the biggest takeaway theme around robotics during the annual consumer technology trade show, which draws more than 100,000 attendees from around the world. In addition to the vast expo hall floors, CES held several conference track sessions, including our own “Robots for Good” conference track, which discussed robotics projects aimed at improving the land, the oceans, and human life, as well as exploring space. Here are some additional thoughts and takeaway messages from the show:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 20: Iowa Straw Poll Preview
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates”. Yes, we’re 11 months away from deciding the fate of the future of this country. Will Americans embrace fascism and give us another 4 years of the orange asshole or will freedom prevail and we will kick him out of office? Well the first part of what always seems like a 16 year campaign starts in the January of election year and that is the Iowa Straw Poll. Yes, the 800,000,000 candidates vying to unseat Trump are headed to Iowa in hopes that they will be the 46th president of the United States. Of America. Are you part of the Yang Gang? Or mayor Pete Buttigieg? Or Elizabeth Warren? Or maybe Bernie Sanders is your jam. Anyway Iowa and New Hampshire will be where it all gets narrowed down.

It is a well-established practice that the political winds of the nation will sweep the plains of Iowa and the mountains of New Hampshire for the next month, before infiltrating every coffee shop, rotary club, and roadstop diner in South Carolina and Nevada. These are the four crucial early states that shape the presidential primary for all those that follow.

Each election cycle, the same Iowa straw polls are dissected, the same county fairs barnstormed, and the same political consultants enriched. It’s political theater, it’s time-honored tradition, and it’s endless entertainment for our chattering media class.

But why must our nominees be filtered through a handful of Iowa caucus-goers, followed by the select few voters of New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina? Why such an astronomically greater influence for voters in Des Moines and Portsmouth over those in Kansas City or Pittsburgh?

The importance each presidential contender places on those early states shows just how much more important those voters are than the rest of us.

Iowa has held our nation’s first caucuses since the Nixon presidency. New Hampshire has hosted the first primary since the 1920s — and even has a state law that bumps its date if another state tries to supplant it.

I think I know who Texas guy is voting for but I can’t quite put my finger on it. But the Iowa Straw Poll is a recent tradition. But this is a weird time in American history because we are currently fighting as if the last election never ended. And we can thank endless years of Clinton bashing by the far right that got us to this point. Yes, the government has been at a stand still but for how long?

Americans may feel as though Christmas lasts forever, but at worst the holiday spreads out over two months, from Halloween until January 2. We do, however, have one truly endless season: campaign season. According to CNN, the 2016 presidential campaign took 597 days, which seems accurate if you believe the campaign ended on Election Day 2016, which everyone knows it did not. It’s still going strong and will continue going strong until at least Election Day 2020. In Japan campaigns last 12 days, in Australia they last 33 to 68 days, and in America they last forever.

The forever campaign is several orders of magnitude worse than Bing Crosby and eggnog in early November, is it not? Some people like eggnog, but no one likes politicians running for higher office. So, as Americans, we must engage in the very American tradition of figuring out who’s to blame for this agony.

Democrats geared up to defeat President Trump as soon as they accepted they’d lost to him, which hasn’t actually happened yet. Trump, for his part, started running for reelection the moment he was sworn in: “You’re in the first 100 days of an administration, and you’re doing campaign rallies for reelection. It was a very, very, very strange thing,” a former White House official told The Atlantic in April.

The thing is, no one can reasonably claim that the 2020 Democratic candidates or Trump started the campaign season we’re living through (and will always be living through). Only one of the 2020 Democrats ran in 2016, Bernie Sanders, and he announced after Hillary Clinton, likely without thinking he had a chance in hell. Trump wasn’t the first Republican to announce his candidacy for 2016—that’d be Ted Cruz, who told the world he would be president in March 2015. That was before Trump called his wife ugly and said his dad murdered JFK.

Maybe that’s why there was such a low voter turnout in 2016, too many people couldn’t fit in the voting booth! By the way if you haven’t seen this week’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, there was a great scene where Larry tries wearing a MAGA hat in a bunch of different situations and finds that it’s a great way to get out of a jam. But sadly the good people of Iowa will be seeing a lot of those on Straw Poll Day.

President Donald Trump will host a Des Moines rally on Jan. 30, just four days before the Iowa caucuses.

President Donald Trump will host a Des Moines rally on Jan. 30, just four days before the Iowa caucuses.

The rally will celebrate "the good news of the Trump economy and the vast accomplishments of his administration," including Iowa's 2.6% unemployment rate, said Michael Glassner, chief operating officer for Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.

The "Keep America Great" rally at the Knapp Center at Drake University begins at 7 p.m., according to a release from the Trump-Pence campaign. Doors will open at 3 p.m. Free tickets to the event are available online.

While it has gotten far less attention than the Democratic caucuses, the Republican Party of Iowa will also hold its traditional straw poll at caucus meetings in February.

The latest Des Moines Register/CNN/Mediacom Iowa Poll shows registered Iowa voters are split on the U.S. House of Representatives' decision to impeach Trump. Nearly half say he should not be removed from office. The split falls along party lines: 91% of Republicans say Trump should not be removed, while 83% of Democrats say he should be.

A majority of registered Iowa voters said, if the election were held today, they would definitely vote for someone other than Trump or would consider it. Thirty-four percent of registered voters said they would definitely vote to re-elect Trump.

If you’re in Iowa and you’re planning on voting in the Straw Poll in Des Moines, you’re definitely going to need a good dose of MAGA spray to ward off the trolls. Not to mention all the stupidity surrounding bathroom appliances in another Trump barfs his brain rally. But the Iowa poll can make or break a candidate. Just ask Trump’s lawyer and soccer dad working on his forth Modelo, Rudy Giuliani. He could have been president but totally blew it in Iowa. So don’t get too confident!

‘America’s mayor’ led polling in the Republican primaries for almost a year in 2007. But his campaign collapsed into chaos

If things had gone a little differently, Rudy Giuliani might have been elected president in 2008.
The former New York City mayor turned Donald Trump stooge led polling in the Republican primaries for almost a year, and was seen as someone who could defeat Hillary Clinton – then the presumptive Democratic nominee – in key metropolitan areas.

Giuliani, still riding a wave of good feeling from his handling of the 9/11 attacks, was raising serious amounts of cash, and was the best-known of the Republican candidates. He had a very real chance of succeeding George W Bush.

But Giuliani’s campaign collapsed in chaotic fashion, and he became a political irrelevance – until re-emerging a decade later as Donald Trump’s lawyer, mouthpiece, bungling envoy to Ukraine and a central character in the third impeachment of an American president.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we will reveal the winner of the Iowa Straw Poll, the runners up, and what to expect going forward!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Brittany Howard[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest you know her best as the voice of Alabama Shakes. She is touring behind her new solo album called “Jaime”. Playing her song “History Repeats”, give it up for Brittany Howard!

Thank you El Paso! This was fun! We’re off to San Antonio next! See you next week!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 22, 2020, 06:04 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-2: War, What Is It Good For? Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-2: War, What Is It Good For? Edition

Ed. Note: Due to a scheduling conflict at our host venue, the Top 10 is early today! Enjoy!

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up U-Mass? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Congratulations to the LSU Tigers on a perfect season. And the Clemson Tigers, you had a good run and you can sleep easier knowing you don’t have to eat Big Macs with Trump. Also RIP to Neal Peart. He could definitely be a contender for the drumming GOAT, and he was a pretty awesome dude at that. Do we have time for the thing? OK Southwest, I have a great advertisement for you. See, I provide ideas, that’s what I do. Well, anyway the reason I bring that up is that I’m sure you saw this viral clip from the Canadian version of Family Feud over the weekend going viral. So in the Canadian version, they have a sudden death lightning round. And the question that was asked had an extremely obvious answer. Well the woman who was answering had probably one of the dumbest answers in Family Feud history. You know what? Let’s show the clip.

Man they need to borrow a sound bite from a fellow game show and play the Price Is Right losing horn because that was quite the epic fail if there ever was one. Which is why this would make a great advertisement and you wouldn’t even need much, just that clip. Wanna get away? All right that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Stephen Colbert is back and talks about how Trump nearly got us into World War III:

So Donald J. Trump nearly brought us to the brink of nuclear war and almost kickstarted World War III, and almost kind of dodged a bullet there. In the first slot this week is of course the “ROAD TO WORLD WAR III” (1). And thank god that Congress is introducing legislation to limit Trump’s war powers. In the second slot this week is Donald J. Trump (2) and we’re going to catch you up on the latest in the ongoing impeachment trial. We’re weeks away from it going to the Senate, but Mitch McConnell obviously has his head up his ass and is refusing to play fairly. Taking the third slot this week, we’re going across the pond to tell you some disturbing news is that Boris Johnson’s Brexit (3) has been approved and Jan 31st will be the day that the UK leaves the EU, and it’s going to be an economic disaster. At slot #4 is former member of the People Who Somehow Got Elected club and that’s CA rep Duncan Hunter (4), and he is leaving Congress! Yay!! In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week, we’re going to ask the question “is your boss a psychopath?”. Do you view the movie “Horrible Bosses” as a comedy or a documentary? We will let you be the judge! And in the sixth slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is alarmed at an event that took place in Virginia called the “Movement Conference” (make your own jokes) that aims to tear down walls of separation of church and state, and he will take these so-called “Prayer Warriors” to task. In the seventh slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) – OK so Melania Trump is on an anti-bullying campaign and conservatives and has-been celebrities can’t help but harp on Time Magazine’s person of the year Greta Thunberg. Is it OK? No. And in the 8th slot this week is a segment that originally appeared in our big British edition “What’s Up With The Royal Family?” (8), and Megan and Harry are set to leave the Royals, and head for the States. We will tell you what that means. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is an all new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And finally this week, in our 2020 voters’ guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, just whose side are Andrew Yang fans on? We will analyze the burgeoning candidate and let you find out for yourself! And the palate cleanser for all this, some live music from the awesome Foals! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Here’s the thing – you elect a republican, you’re going to go to war. That’s about as basic of a statement as you’re going to get. Trump and the military industrial complex want a war with Iran, and they’re going to give it to us whether we want it or not. Because why? There’s profit to be made in war, peace is boring and not profitable for weapons manufacturers. Where’s Tony Stark when you need him? He managed to privatize peace. But over New Year’s, Trump nearly brought us to the brink of not just a war with Iran, but with World War III. And it’s having some serious consequences. So just how bad was the killing of Soleimani and what are the consequences of it? Well…

Donald Trump on Saturday drew what may come to be seen as the most significant red line of his presidency in a three-part tweet, vowing specific military action against Iran if it "strikes any Americans, or American assets."

"We have ... targeted 52 Iranian sites (representing the 52 American hostages taken by Iran many years ago), some at a very high level & important to Iran & the Iranian culture" and "if Iran strikes any Americans, or American assets... Iran itself, WILL BE HIT VERY FAST AND VERY HARD," Trump wrote in a series of tweets.

Trump reiterated his warning in a series of tweets early Sunday, saying the United States just spent $2 trillion on military equipment.
"We are the biggest and by far the BEST in the World! If Iran attacks an American Base, or any American, we will be sending some of that brand new beautiful equipment their way...and without hesitation!," he tweeted. "They attacked us, & we hit back. If they attack again, which I would strongly advise them not to do, we will hit them harder than they have ever been hit before!"

Man remember the good old days when the mere idea of bombing Iran was just the musings of a creepy old guy singing a Beach Boys song parody?


Yeah that happened! But now it is not just the musings of a creepy old guy in song format, but it could possibly be a reality, and a reality which we should all be fearful of! Because, that’s our media – fear fear fear fear fear!!! Be afraid!!!

BEIRUT—About two years ago, Qassem Soleimani delivered a speech at a ceremony in Tehran marking a decade since the death of Imad Mughniyeh, the senior Hezbollah commander killed in a car-bomb explosion in the heart of Damascus, an attack carried out by the CIA with support from Israel. Standing in front of a huge portrait of Mughniyeh superimposed against a panorama of Jerusalem, Soleimani addressed an audience of senior Iranian officials, as well as representatives of Iran’s proxy militias in Iraq, Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Syria, and Yemen.

Soleimani hailed Mughniyeh as “the legend” responsible for practically all the achievements of Iran’s so-called axis of resistance, which according to the Iranian general included building Hezbollah and the Palestinian group Hamas into formidable threats to Israel and killing 241 American service members in the 1983 bombing of a U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut. “The enemy knows that punishment for Imad’s blood is not firing a missile or a tit-for-tat assassination,” he told the crowd. “The punishment for Imad’s blood is the eradication of the Zionist entity.”

Following Soleimani’s killing in an American air strike this month, it is worth remembering the man’s own words. Soleimani, Mughniyeh, and the current Hezbollah leader, Hassan Nasrallah, formed a trio of men who carried out Iran’s strategy across the Middle East under Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. And so it is hard to overstate the magnitude of the blow that Soleimani’s death has delivered. The focus in the days since his killing has been on the perceived impulsiveness of Donald Trump’s decision, Iran’s retaliation—limited thus far to the firing of 22 missiles at two U.S. bases in Iraq, with no reported casualties—the public displays of grief for Soleimani in Iran, and the national- security implications. But as with Mughniyeh’s death, to paraphrase Soleimani himself, the response to the Iranian general’s killing will not be restricted to a lone missile attack or a tit-for-tat move—Iran is not yet done.

Holy shit!! Yeah he’s going to get a whole bunch of people killed in the process. But remember the terror code list from the Bush era where things were red to green in terms of severity? Well, Trump downgraded the severity of Soleimani’s killing from “imminent threat” to “deterrence”. Despite that the government and citizens of Iran are saying literally the opposite.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Attorney General William Barr said Monday that killing Iranian commander Qasem Soleimani was part of a larger strategy of deterrence, a shift from the Trump administration's previous rationale that the strike was carried out to prevent an "imminent" attack.

Barr's comments were particularly noteworthy as he attempted to push back on criticism over the administration's claim that Soleimani was planning attacks that posed an imminent threat, calling the concept "something of a red herring."

"I believe there was intelligence of imminent attack, but I do believe that concept of imminence is something of a red herring," he said during a press conference on last month's deadly shooting at a Naval Air Station in Pensacola, Florida.

"I think when you're dealing with a situation where you already have attacks underway, you know there is a campaign that involves repeated attacks on American targets, I don't think there's a requirement frankly for, you know, knowing the exact time and place of the next attack. And that certainly was the position of the Obama when it droned leaders of terrorist organizations," Barr added.

I don’t claim to know a lot, but I’m pretty sure that’s not how a red herring works. And now we play the blame game. Who is getting blamed for this? Well since no one reads past the headlines anymore, the US is blaming Iran, and Iran is blaming the US. But Iran doesn’t have a petulant man baby currently holding the highest office in the land. Apparently they haven’t joined the Putin Dictators’ Club yet .I hear there are a few memberships open for that position.

Iran said Tuesday that dozens of people had been arrested over the Islamic Republic's apparently unintentional shooting down of a Ukrainian jetliner last week. The arrests come amid Iranian vows to fully and openly investigate the firing of the surface-to-air missile that downed the plane, killing all 176 people on board.

But while Iran confessed to shooting the jet down — three days after the fact and under intense international pressure — its president asserted Tuesday that the "root causes" of the tragedy were U.S. actions.

"It was the U.S. that caused such an incident to take place," Iran's state-controlled news agency Tasnim quoted President Hassan Rouhani as saying. The Iranian regime has blamed the Trump administration for ratcheting up tensions with the controversial decision to kill senior Iranian military commander Qassem Soleimani in a January 2 drone strike in Baghdad.

Iranian forces shot the plane down hours after launching a barrage of ballistic missiles at military bases in Iraq housing hundreds of U.S. forces, in retaliation for the killing of Soleimani. Officials in Tehran have said their forces were on high-alert for any U.S. response to the missile attack, and the operator who fired on the plane believed it was an incoming American missile.

Yeah that’s kind of what the international blame game is like. I would talk more about the horrible plane crash that happened in Baghdad as a result of this, but making fun of that would be beneath us. That said, we can talk about President Man Baby’s revealing of why he killed Soleimani. I mean really this begs the question – did Mar A Lago guests know about the killing before hand? And the other question - WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? Absolutely nothing!!! Say it again!!

Presidential contender Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., sent a letter to two financial regulators this week demanding a federal investigation into whether President Donald Trump provided advance notice of the Jan. 3 strike against Iranian General Qasem Soleimani to stock traders who may have profited illegally based on the tip.

The letter, dated Monday and sent to the chairmen of the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Commodities Futures Trading Commission, follows a Jan. 4 report in The Daily Beast, citing three unnamed sources, which said that Trump had told guests of his Florida resort Mar-a-Lago in the days before the strike to expect a "big" response to Iran that would happen "soon."

"If this report is true, it raises a number of troubling national security questions regarding President Trump's handling of classified and other sensitive national security information," Warren wrote in the letter, which was also signed by Sen. Chris Van Hollen, D-Md., the ranking member of the Senate subcommittee that oversees securities and investments.

The senators wrote that the president's resort guests may have obtained "confidential market-moving information and had the opportunity to trade defense industry stocks or commodities or make other trades based on this information."

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump
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I’m just going to warn you right now that next week’s Top 10 could have a very different attitude depending on the outcome of the impeachment trial. Right now I’m expecting that the Senate will vote not to go through with impeachment and conviction which means that we will most likely be in a “fuck everything mood”. On the other hand if they surprise us, we will be in a “pop the champagne” mood. So that said, since Trump nearly brought us to the brink of World War III to distract from impeachment, how is that sitting with Congress and most particularly Adam Schiff? Well, let’s find out how well it’s going.

The imminent final act of America's impeachment ordeal will be played for far higher political stakes than might be expected given the all-but-guaranteed acquittal of President Donald Trump in his trial in the Republican-led Senate.

The long wait for the trial to begin -- nearly four weeks pulsating with political gamesmanship after the House voted to consign Trump to historic ignominy -- finally looks to be over.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a California Democrat, will meet her troops on Tuesday and is expected to finally relent in her refusal to send the articles of impeachment to the other chamber -- a delay triggered by a bid to dictate the terms of the trial.

Finally, the Senate will get the chance to assess whether Trump, the third president ever impeached by the House, is guilty of the standard of "high crimes and misdemeanors" for trying to coerce Ukraine to dig up dirt on his possible 2020 election foe Joe Biden.

The way that the public comes to view the climax of the scandal will shape the rest of the President's term, his hopes for a second one and the destiny of the Senate come November's elections.

Where is Thanos? Can we just snap with the Infinity Stones and erase the last 3 years? Or can we snap forward 5 years? What? That’s not how it works? The question now is whether or not John Bolton is going to testify at the big senate hearing. The strange thing is that we never, not once ever, thought that Mitt Romney would be the voice of reason when the opposing party has become a dangerous and scary cult.

The House is about to send President Donald Trump's impeachment over to the Senate, setting the stage for a high-profile showdown over just what kind of trial we'll see. And perhaps the biggest looming question is: Will John Bolton testify?

That question is starting to come into focus. The idea that Senate will quickly dismiss the impeachment articles and move on, as Trump has suggested, apparently isn't going to happen - which that means we can now turn to other matters like Bolton.

Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, this week became the first to directly indicate he supports Trump's former national security adviser testifying and would likely vote in favor of it. And despite declining to insist on Bolton's testimony as part of the trial's initial rules, two others appear amenable to voting for witnesses like Bolton during the trial. But that would still leave the vote deadlocked at 50-50, with one more GOP senator needed to put Bolton - and other witnesses Democrats desire, like acting White House chief of staff Mick Mulvaney - on the stand.

In other words: It's on a knife's edge.

Romney has previously indicated he wants to hear from Bolton, who resisted testifying to the House but says he would in a Senate trial. But now Romney has further clarified (with some wiggle room) that he would likely vote in favor of it.

I don’t know why we’re using Endgame GIFs, but really it does feel like the end of a very long and strange trip doesn’t it? But apparently now Nancy Pelosi says that there’s a new “truckload” of evidence that suggests that Trump did the deed of asking the Ukraine to dig up dirt on Biden even though it’s a completely baseless and bullshit conspiracy theory. How’s that going?

Russian hackers recently targeted the Ukrainian gas company that was at the center of President Trump's impeachment — and they succeeded in gaining access to its email accounts, according to California cybersecurity firm Area 1 Security.

The hackers are said to have infiltrated Burisma Holdings months after Trump urged Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden and his son Hunter, who had served on Burisma's board.

"What we've uncovered is that the same Russian cyber actors who targeted the [Democratic National Committee] in 2016 have been actively launching a phishing campaign against employees of Burisma Holdings and its subsidiaries, to try to steal their email usernames and passwords," Area 1 co-founder Oren Falkowitz tells NPR's Morning Edition.

Trump's push for the Ukrainian probe led to his Dec. 18 impeachment by the House of Representatives on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. The House had formalized its impeachment inquiry on Oct. 31; hackers linked to Russia's government reportedly sprang into action in early November.

Yeah…well why do we let Russia get away with anything? Since the 1980s, Russia has consistently produced nothing but bad for society. Hell, even before the 80s, it was pretty well known that Russia was the Loki to the USA’s Thor. But you know next week is our Straw Poll Special, and with the Straw Poll happening in Iowa like it always does, how does impeachment fly there?

owa voters are almost equally divided over the House's move to impeach President Trump and make him just the third president in U.S. history to face removal by the Senate, according to a new CNN/Des Moines Register/Mediacom poll.

The survey, released late Saturday, found that 45 percent of registered Iowa voters disapprove of the House impeachment of Trump, while 43 percent support it. The opinions divide strongly along partisan lines, with 87 percent of Democrats supporting impeachment and 90 percent of Republican respondents opposing it.

Forty-eight percent of independent respondents said they disapproved the House's move to impeach Trump while 39 percent said they approved it.

The House last month voted to impeach Trump on charges of abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. The vote followed a House inquiry into allegations that Trump pressured the Ukrainian president to announce probes into 2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden and an unfounded theory related to the 2016 election. Trump is also alleged to have withheld military aid as leverage in his push for the investigations.


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[font size="8"]Brexit Goes Through
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Last week while the rest of the world was sleeping and Trump was rage-tweeing whatever his brain barfed while he was on the toilet, his doppleganger, Boris Johnson got to work with the newly elected, ultra conservative British Parliament, and got to work on derailing Europe’s economy. Yes, after the glorious clusterfuck of the last 3 years watching the British government absolutely implode, Brexit is going to be a reality and we have exactly two weeks before it takes effect! So just what can you expect from this latest shit show? Well we’re going to be hearing a lot about it in the last 10 days.

Britain’s impending departure from the European Union on Jan. 31 is merely, as Winston Churchill might have said, the end of the beginning. British Prime Minister Boris Johnson will herald Brexit as the moment the nation recovers its sovereignty. The truth, however, is far messier. The ultimate terms and costs of the divorce are yet to be determined. The nature of Britain’s future relationship with the continent, whether the United Kingdom will stay united in Brexit’s wake, and what global role Britain will play after regaining its “splendid isolation” all remain to be seen.

The U.K. was always an awkward partner in the EU, given its historic ambivalence toward the continent, sense of exceptionalism and global aspirations. Britain was “with Europe, but not of it,” Churchill wrote in 1930. After World War II, it championed European integration but refrained from joining the European Economic Community until 1973. Ever after that, British leaders remained jealous of national prerogatives and vigilant about overreach from Brussels, culminating in the Brexit referendum of June 2016, when a narrow majority of Britons voted to leave the EU altogether.

After three and a half torturous years, a divided Britain is poised to deliver on that momentous decision, thanks to a decisive Conservative victory in last month’s general election. Over the past few weeks, the Withdrawal Agreement Bill, negotiated alongside a Political Declaration outlining the future relationship between Britain and the EU, has been winding its way through Parliament.

That is a good point, sir. But I’m sensing a pattern here. The people who want Brexit are the same as the people who want Catalan separated from Spain. Who are the same people who are bringing white supremacy back to Italy. Who are the same people who elected Bolsonaro in Brazil and Erdogan in Turkey. And… the same people who want Johnson and Trump! I figured it out! The entire planet is sinking into a right wing hell hole! Sit back and watch the show, boys and girls, it’s gonna get ugly!

LONDON (Reuters) - Prime Minister Boris Johnson won approval for his Brexit deal in parliament on Friday, the first step toward fulfilling his election pledge to deliver Britain’s departure from the European Union by Jan. 31 after his landslide victory.

Lawmakers voted by 358 to 234 to pass the second reading of the legislation, underlining Johnson’s large majority in parliament that should ensure a smooth ratification of the divorce deal to implement Britain’s biggest policy shift in more than 40 years.

More than three years since Britain voted to exit the EU in a 2016 referendum, the deep uncertainty over Brexit has now been replaced by a firm deadline of the end of January. Only after that will the prime minister face talks to secure a trade deal with the bloc and another target date of the end of next year.

Getting “the Brexit vote wrapped up for Christmas” was the main aim for Johnson showing that, unlike his predecessor Theresa May who was thwarted in parliament, he now has free rein to drive Brexit forward despite continued criticism from opposition lawmakers.

“This is the time when we move on and discard the old labels of ‘leave’ and ‘remain’ ... now is the time to act together as one reinvigorated nation, one United Kingdom,” Johnson told parliament before the vote.

Except none of this is good! I mean come on, in 3 and a half years that the planet has been turned upside down and flipped toward the right wing hell hole we’re vast descending into, should anyone be surprised at this? Anyone? Well, just wait until you see how much Brexit is already destroying the British economy – and we’re not even 15 days out from it taking full effect!

The UK's December election brought new certainty around Brexit's completion, but the event will grow most expensive in 2020, according to new research from Bloomberg Economics.

The study by UK economist Dan Hanson found Brexit has already cost the nation roughly 130 billion pounds ($170 billion), and estimates Prime Minister Boris Johnson's expedited exit from the EU will add another 70 billion pounds ($91 billion) by the end of 2020.

Bloomberg Economics' yearly cost estimate for 2020 is the highest since Brexit's June 2016 referendum, as the economic toll to the UK has accelerated each year since the historic vote. The nation's economy outperformed analyst estimates in the months following the vote as consumer spending remained strong, Hanson wrote. By 2017, growth began to lag as an inflated pound and slowing income growth bit into spending activity.

As the initial deadline of March 29, 2019, grew closer, increased uncertainty around the deal's specifics and future trade deals further dragged on the economy. In the years since Brexit's approval, the UK's growth has halved to 1% from 2%, according to the study.

Holy shit!!! Hey, I thought conservatives hated wasteful government spending! It’s only a mere $260 billion, that’s what, half an Amazon? But really conservatives are going to keep digging their own holes, and the sad thing is that they will blame this on liberals, because reasons. But let’s listen to actual MEPs who may hold grave warnings about what’s ahead for Europe. But why should they listen?

The European Parliament is stepping up warnings over citizens’ rights after Brexit, expressing fears in particular that safeguards for EU nationals living in the UK are being jeopardised by Boris Johnson’s government.

A draft resolution to be debated by MEPs in Strasbourg stresses that their approval for the divorce deal will depend on assurances given, especially over the UK’s EU Settlement Scheme.

Under this scheme, Europeans will have to register in order to continue living in the country. It calls for provisions in the withdrawal agreement to be fully implemented.

The motion expresses “grave concern” over the fate of EU citizens who fail to meet the registration deadline on 30 June 2021. Last year UK Home Office minister Brandon Lewis suggested that people who had not applied to formalise their status by that date could “theoretically” be deported.

It also accuses the British government of failing to protect EU nationals against potential future discrimination by employers or landlords, and says inadequate registration infrastructure could leave people exposed.

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[font size="8"]Duncan Hunter
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One of the stupidest political scandals we’ve seen in quite some time come from San Diego’s Duncan Hunter. Remember when he got caught spending ungodly amounts of campaign money for personal expenses (see: Idiots #5-10). And it got to be quite the stuff of insanity especially when he spent $600 transporting his pet rabbit on a Southwest flight. Yeah that’s a thing that happened. Well, Duncan Hunter is no longer going to be an elected representative from California. And we can’t be the first to say “Bye! Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!”.

Rep. Duncan D. Hunter officially stepped down as representative for the 50th District at the close of business Monday, more than one month after the California Republican pleaded guilty in federal court to misusing campaign funds.

Hunter submitted his letter of resignation to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., last week.

The six-term congressman is scheduled to be sentenced in March. He faces a maximum of five years in prison, although he is expected to serve less than one year. His wife, Margaret Hunter, also pleaded guilty. She is scheduled to be sentenced in April.

Hunter and his wife were charged in August 2018 with using more than $250,000 in campaign funds to pay for personal expenses including family vacations, theater tickets and school tuition.

The lawmaker was stripped of his committee assignments but continued serving in Congress and won reelection in 2018 after initially pleading not guilty and denying wrongdoing..

Yes, ha ha indeed! But here’s the weird thing about this – Gov. Newsome hasn’t stated that he wants to hold an election to replace Hunter. And San Diego is a pretty heavily republican district, and we’re really not sure why. We suspect that Mr. Hunter only got elected because not enough people showed up to the election to vote on his replacement. So who is vying to replace him?

The focus of the 50th Congressional District race understandably has been on the Republican candidates.

It’s a heavily Republican district soon to be vacated by GOP Rep. Duncan Hunter, who pleaded guilty to felony misuse of campaign funds this month and announced he would be resigning after the holidays.

Also, Ammar Campa-Najjar, who lost to Hunter last year by only a few percentage points, was the lone Democrat in the race and was expected to advance from the March primary to the November general election.

Now he has company.

Marisa Calderon, executive director of the National Assn. of Hispanic Real Estate Professionals, had begun running in the neighboring 53rd District, where Democratic incumbent Susan Davis chose not to seek reelection. Shortly before the filing deadline, Calderon shifted to the Hunter district.

What impact she may have, and how much of a threat she poses to Campa-Najjar, is uncertain. Right now, it doesn’t seem like much. That, of course, could change depending on what kind of campaign she runs, how much money she raises and whether she has a compelling message.

Yes, stay classy San Diego, but now that the dust has settled, where does the blame lie? You could probably blame the voters because they fall for the classic textbook definition of insanity. Which as you know is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. So why is Hunter’s seat remaining vacant for a year? Well the answers are not as easy as you might think.

California Gov. Gavin Newsom will not call a special election to fill the unfinished term of U.S. Rep. Duncan D. Hunter, who resigned after pleading guilty to a corruption charge, a spokeswoman for the governor said Wednesday.

His decision means the solidly Republican, San Diego-area district will not have a vote in the House of Representatives until January 2021, when Hunter’s successor takes office. Three Republicans and one Democrat face off in a March 3 primary, with the top two finishers advancing to a November runoff, regardless of party affiliation.

The Democratic governor won’t call a special election “based on the timing of the resignation,” said Vicky Waters, a spokeswoman.

Hunter, 43, tendered his resignation Tuesday, more than a month after he pleaded guilty to siphoning campaign funds for personal expenses. It takes effect Monday.

Newsom was under no obligation to call a special election after Dec. 6, the filing deadline for California’s March primary.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Really Horrible Bosses
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

You might think that your boss is the worst boss out there. But the idea of bosses being psychopaths is nothing new. Whether it happens in a dark comedy or it happens in real life, the dangers of your boss being a horrible person are not only a much more common occurrence, you could right now be employed by one. And the more likely a person is to be anti-social and reckless with their behavior, the more likely they are to be employed on the higher ranks of the corporate ladder. And the overall statistics are more alarming than you might think. It’s not just your boss, one out of 3 tend to be psychopaths and engage in inappropriate behavior.

If you think any of the statements above describe you, then you most likely have a tendency to display antisocial, callous and reckless behaviors. According a study dating back to 2010, there were at least three times as many psychopaths in executive or CEO roles than in the overall population. But more recent data found it’s now a much higher figure: 20 percent.


In a similar vein, a British firefighter who was awarded a medal of honor for his heroic actions during the 2005 London terrorist attack, when he risked his life saving the passengers of the bombed bus, is now serving a 14-year prison sentence for his involvement in a $135 million cocaine ring.

By the same token, some of the most iconic entrepreneurs have been associated with egoistic tendencies. Steve Jobs and Elon Musk, for example, are two icons whose disruptive personalities made them as innovative as they were difficult to work with.

Jobs got fired from his own company and displayed clear patterns of low empathy and antisocial behavior: Parking in the disabled parking spots and bullying and intimidating his employees. Musk’s narcissistic side has also been manifested — rather often — in his combative rants with investors, the media and his employees, as well as his confrontational and erratic social media presence.

But it’s not all bad. Jobs and Musk undeniably have talent for entrepreneurship, defined as the ability to translate original and useful ideas into practical innovations.

But bosses shouldn’t be mocking people for calling their grandmother “gam gam”. However, just like being in an abusive relationship, being in a horrible work relationship may be detrimental to your overall health. Psychopaths, like Donald Trump or Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, for instance, thrive under a certain kind of leadership, and it’s the kind that those of us who aren’t leaders are the ones that everyone else hates.

A common saying is that people leave managers, not jobs. If you work for a narcissist or a psychopath, you might reach your limit faster than you thought.

But sometimes it can be a good thing to work for someone who doesn't have any empathy, because they can have strong leadership skills. They are cool-headed and charismatic, and can make ruthless business decisions. You just have to hope they won't cause you stress for their own amusement.

Many CEOs have psychopathic traits, but to get to that point they have to work under people too. According to a new study, published in the Journal of Business Ethics, psychopaths thrive under a certain kind of leadership, and it's the kind that most of us despise.

Charlice Hurst, an assistant professor of management in Notre Dame's Mendoza College of Business, and lead author of the study, explained there are two distinct dimensions of psychopathy: primary and secondary.

"Both consist of high levels of antisocial behavior," she said in a statement. "However, people who score high in primary psychopathy lack empathy and are cool-headed and fearless. They don't react to things that cause other people to feel stressed, fearful, or angry. Secondary psychopaths are more hot-headed and impulsive."

So you cringing at staying at work a few extra hours late, or doing things that your boss orders you to do, is perfectly normal. It’s your boss who is the one who isn’t. So how do you look for signs that your boss might be a psychopath? Well one of the clues might lie in his e-mails that he sends not only to you but to the whole company. Just watch for certain keywords.

They’re charismatic, unpredictable and make you do things you never imagined.

These traits could describe the most inspirational bosses you ever had. But as we learned at a SXSW panel this week, they could also describe psychopaths when combined with other key traits such as ego, self-deception and callousness.

In fact, the panel’s experts say there’s almost one psychopath for every 100 people, with rates shooting up in the workplace, especially in leadership, thanks to psychopaths’ ease with manipulation. Research finds that nearly 4 percent of corporate CEOs are psychopaths, and this rate is nearly doubled among middle managers. (Shockingly, the share of psychopaths among middle managers is nearly as high as the share of psychopaths in medium security prisons.)

In the world of startups, psychopaths could be particularly hard to spot. Psychopaths might be irrational and driven by ego, but so are successful entrepreneurs, points out Brian Stolle, a venture capitalist who says he’s worked with founders who fit a psychopathic profile.

And that is usually the ultimate goal of a CEO is to squash the competition. But just like any movie where the boss is the bad guy, in the end they will all get their just desserts. You may have to answer to your boss, but even your boss has to answer to his boss, and ultimately isn’t that where it all leads in the end?

It takes years to build a great career but just months for a bad boss to destroy it. A manager who bullies and blames will spread insecurity wherever they go, with a drip-drip pattern of behavior designed to undermine all who stand in their path.

Over a third of America’s workforce has experienced abuse from their colleagues in the form of threats, humiliation or sabotage of performance. A further 75% of those who quit do so because of a difficult supervisor rather than the position itself.

But for those feeling rundown by overbearing managers, there’s light at the end of the tunnel. New research indicates that abusive bosses are their own worst enemy in the workplace.

“Abusive bosses experience significant social costs from their behavior in the workplace, most notably by losing social worth,” says Professor Manuela Priesemuth, whose paper on the effects of office bullying has just been published in the Journal of Applied Psychology.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Amherst! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Are you a “prayer warrior”? Well of course you are, you’re attending my church after all! But the reason why I ask is that there was an event in Virginia last week. We did not attend, instead we watched the live stream. But it was very alarming. The higher ends of this church were alarmed that the Christian right wants to tear down the separation of church and state. That’s the very thing keeping this country from becoming a totalitarian hell hole. These people are determined to break down the things that keep America a free country. The event in question is called the “Movement 2020” conference. Come on, this should be called the “Gathering Of The Deplorables”. These people are organized, they are armed, and they are angry!

On Friday, Jan. 3, while President Donald Trump was in Miami surrounded by political allies at the campaign launch of Evangelicals for Trump, prayer warriors gathered in Fredericksburg, Virginia, where they heard about ambitious plans for a nationwide series of Christian prayer events in tents and stadiums designed to spark spiritual revival and evangelical activism.

The Friday night gathering was the closing session for Movement 2020, a conference that began three nights earlier on New Year’s Eve. In the cavernous Fredericksburg Expo Center, somewhere between 1,000 and 2,000 attendees listened to hours of preaching, prayer, and worship music. Participants were told that their songs and prayers would help bring “God’s government” to Earth. The event was organized by Awaken the Dawn, a Fredericksburg-based ministry that organized a tent city on the National Mall in 2017, simultaneous worship tent events in state capitals and campuses in 2018, and a similar tent events in hundreds of locations in 2019. Awaken the Dawn is one of many ministries that focus on intense worship designed to bring participants into the presence of God and love of Jesus, so they will help spark revival and societal “reformation.”

Groups mobilizing for mass public prayer and worship, like participants in Movement 2020, exist alongside other prayer projects like Intercessors for America, POTUS Shield, and Paula White’s One Voice Prayer Movement, which distribute conservative talking points in the form of prayer suggestions and “prayer points.” In the Summer 2014 issue of The Journal of Religion and Popular Culture, scholar Cynthia Burack, who has examined the uses of prayer projects by the Christian right, noted that the use of “devotional rhetoric” and softer political messaging can make prayer projects less immediately identifiable as vehicles for the advancement of conservative political strategies than the efforts of traditional religious-right political groups like the Family Research Council.

Now these are some very dangerous groups who preach where the highest levels of government are present. What are they trying to accomplish? What is their motive? Well when you peel back the layers of this insane event, their motive becomes far more shockingly clear. And if you guessed it’s the opposite of what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want, well, you might be right. Take for instance, one of our favorite groups, One Million Moms, they were there.

Conservative advocacy group One Million Moms has condemned Burger King for its use of “profanity” in a commercial from August.

The ad campaign, first aired in August, finds customers waiting in line for a fake "Impossible Restaurant," which ends up being a Burger King storefront for the company’s plant-based Impossible Whopper. At the 45 second mark, one customer, after sampling the burger, says: “Damn, that’s good.”

In a statement published Friday, One Million Moms decried the use of “the d-word” in the ad campaign, calling the campaign “offensive” and “controversial.”

“Burger King’s Impossible Whopper ad is irresponsible and tasteless,” the organization wrote in the statement. “It is extremely destructive and damaging to impressionable children viewing the commercial. We all know children repeat what they hear.”

The group's callout comes a month after the same group successfully campaigned for the Hallmark Channel to pull an ad for a wedding-planning company that featured a same-sex couple kissing at the altar. The channel reversed course a day after pulling the spot, apologizing for "the hurt it has unintentionally caused.".

Yeah seriously come on!!! They give us shit for being snowflakes but they can’t even hear the word “damn”?? That’s a shocking level of hypocrisy from the Prayer Warrior movement. And that’s certainly not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want. In fact let’s examine the Prayer Warrior movement a bit further. These people are not on our side. Instead, they worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church!

In mid-October, less than a month into the House Democrats’ formal impeachment inquiry into President Donald Trump, Jim Bakker, the televangelist and convicted fraudster, was in front of a studio audience at his Morningside Church complex in Blue Eye, Missouri, a remote village of less than 200 people in the Ozarks. As the crew prepared the semicircular desk where the 79-year-old conducts freewheeling interviews with evangelical celebrity guests, Bakker took a moment to deliver an important message to the hundred or so people who had come to watch the taping: “God’s sending judgment.”

God, Bakker continued, “anointed your president.” Anyone who crosses the divinely chosen leader, he implied, is risking God’s wrath.

That morning, news had broken of the unexpected death of Democratic Congressman and House Oversight and Reform Committee Chairman Elijah Cummings, who aggressively investigated Trump and who would have played a key role in impeachment proceedings. But there would be no prayers or condolences for the civil rights advocate from Bakker, who would only call Cummings “that man.” Instead, Bakker concluded with satisfaction, “one of the number-one enemies of our president fell dead last night. A man who insists on impeaching the president of the United States, he fell dead.”

As Trump faces increasingly grim polling numbers over impeachment, white evangelicals have dug in as his most loyal defenders. According to a Washington Post/ABC News poll conducted in late October, about a month after House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced the official launch of the impeachment probe, 80% of white evangelicals opposed impeaching Trump and removing him from office (compared to just 47% of the public at large). Two-thirds of white evangelicals believed Trump did nothing wrong in his dealings with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. Among white evangelicals who identify as Republican, 99% of them opposed impeachment, according to an October analysis by the Public Religion Research Institute.


That he does! And his name is someone who I shall not say in my church, because he currently occupies the highest office in the land!! These Prayer Warriors are not out to change America or the world for the better, they’re only making it worse! So much worse! If you want a rundown of some of the attendees in this conference, just look at how their “harvest of souls” even t went, and who was in attendance.

In Engle’s absence, David Bradshaw delivered what had been billed as a special announcement revealing plans for 2020. Bradshaw described Awaken the Dawn as part of a larger move by God to bring the presence of God to Americans through “tents of glory” that would house worship, the proclamation of the gospel, and healing and other signs and wonders. Bradshaw mentioned, as he has before, that his tent ministry is based on having heard a word from God that tents are “a silver bullet for the move of God in America.”

The 2020 plan Bradshaw described on Friday night was presented as an effort to bring together worship and the proclamation of gospel in tents, and to align it with the season of “stadium Christianity” in America, which is about mobilizing a massive End Times “harvest” of souls.

Various movements and organizations will be collaborating on a traveling show that will begin on the National Mall in Washington D.C., in June with a Lincoln Memorial gathering led by Together 2020. Caravans of worship tents will then spend 100 days traveling across the country before convening in Kansas City on a farm once owned by Harry Truman and now owned by IHOP-KC. In October, participants will march from the Awaken the Dawn tent gathering on IHOP-KC’s land to Kansas City’s Arrowhead Stadium for a massive stadium rally sponsored by The Send.

The October gatherings and march were described by Movement 2020 leaders as the fulfillment of a prophecy made decades ago by the late “prophet” Bob Jones, whose other prophetic utterances include the Gulliver prophecy. In 2016, Rick Joyner’s Morningstar Ministries opened a Bob Jones Vision Center for “prayer, praise and prophecy.”

Bradshaw closed with a pitch for money to buy a 2000-person circus tent as a “statement of faith” and offered an opportunity for people to come forward to ask for prayers and healing.

Except that doesn’t have any relevance to what we’re talking about. Or maybe it does. But really “Harvest Of Souls”? “Prayer, praise and prophecy?” Are they starting a religious movement or a heavy metal concert? Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Conservatives Vs Greta Thunberg
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While we were taking our much needed break during the holidays, we missed Time Magazine naming 16 year old Swedish environmental activist and social media darling Greta Thunberg as their Person Of The Year. And conservatives lost their collective minds over this. Not to mention Trump has his head up his ass on this subject. But the fact that Trump didn’t get the award and lost his shit over it, really shows where Trump’s head is at in 2020. Come on, we’re just 15 days into the year. It’s going to be a really long year, people. So why do conservatives have such a beef with a 16 year old environmental activist? Is it because she’s out there making it happen while they’re sitting on their computers doing absolutely nothing about it but complaining? Sounds about par for the course.

And in “things that sound like food but isn’t really food” news, Meat Loaf said that he doesn’t believe in climate change and claimed that climate action activist Greta Thunberg has somehow been brainwashed. He also claimed that he is a “sex god.” Let’s address two of these three claims here.

In an article for the Daily Mail, Rebecca Davison relayed this quote from Loaf: “I feel for that Greta. She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't. She hasn't done anything wrong but she's been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true.”

Stop right there. I gotta know right now. Even though you’ve probably been wondering for a long time what Meat Loaf thinks about climate change, where exactly is the evidence behind his statement? Because, while he may do anything for love, as his 1993 song told us, would he really make statements about climate change and Thunberg that aren’t backed by facts? Would he do that?

Now it’s not clear if the 16-year-old Thunberg even knows who Meat Loaf is. After all, Thunberg wasn’t even around when Meat Loaf was charting his top hits in the 1970’s and 1990’s and appeared in the 1997 movie Spice World. (Yes, Meat Loaf was at one time covered in Spice.) If Thunberg isn’t aware of the 72-year-old singer-songwriter and sees the headlines or what’s trending on Twitter, then she may wonder why a baked or smoked dish of ground meat mixed with other ingredients molded into the shape of a loaf is commenting about her. Some on Twitter such as @AllanaHarkin did wonder:

I’ll do anything for loooooooooooooove, but I don’t care about facts! Ah, that doesn’t have the same ring to it doesn’t it? But really Greta, the first thing you should remember in the social media is that this is the era of the troll. And I’m not even going to say what Sebastian Gorka called her, you can Google that one yourself. Because, fuck that guy. Anyway Greta, don’t feed the troll. Just don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it…

Greta Thunberg responded to singer Meat Loaf's assertion that she has been "brainwashed" on climate change by stating that the issue of environmental injustice extends well beyond him.

The "Bat Out of Hell" singer told the Daily Mail in a Jan. 1 interview that he does not believe in climate change, but rather, that he believes Thunberg, 17, has been "brainwashed."

"She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't," he said. "She hasn't done anything wrong but she's been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true."

Thunberg, who was named Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2019, responded to the musician on Twitter on Monday, writing that the focus shouldn't be placed on Meat Loaf or on herself.

"It’s not about what some people call me. It’s not about left or right," she tweeted. "It’s all about scientific facts. And that we’re not aware of the situation. Unless we start to focus everything on this, our targets will soon be out of reach."

Ah you fed the trolls why did you do that??? You can’t win a guy like Meatloaf over with facts. It’s pretty well known that since the Trump train attracts has-been celebrities that he’s a solid contender for a D-list republican. But let’s expand on feeding the trolls a bit. In the social media era, people have been compelled to bully children because reasons. Just ask the Parkland Survivors. It’s a phenomenon that really needs to be addressed.

Over the past decade, we’ve spent considerable time talking about bullying prevention. Conversations tend to focus on children harming other children, particularly in the schoolyard or online cyberbullying. Recently, however, there have been a number of high profile examples of adults bullying a child — specifically targeting child activists. These are kids whose actions have thrust them into the limelight and emboldened grown-ups who see a mature child in the public eye as fair game.

Take Greta Thunberg for example. The climate activist just turned 17 and was named Time’s “Person of the Year.” Her age has not protected her from a volley of verbal abuse, not just at the hands of the usual Internet trolls, but also from the President of the United States.

Donald Trump said Time Magazine’s selection of Thunberg was “ridiculous,” then proceeded to bash the young girl on Twitter. “Greta must work on her Anger Management problem,” the president wrote. “Then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!”


And Thunberg is far from being alone. Students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have been bullied incessantly for speaking out in favor of gun control. The fact that they are children has not stopped adults from lashing out at them, calling them “crisis actors” and insisting they are nothing more than puppets being controlled by gun reform advocates.

That is a good question sir! And that is coming from the President Of The United States by the way. Yes, the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES sent an insulting tweet to a teenage climate change activist. And the Trumpsters are apparently OK with that. And children aren’t the only ones who are being targeted, look at someone like Lizzo who had a meltdown last week after some vicious trolling. Can we stop it with this shit already? Just don’t feed the trolls!

On January 6, Lizzo tweeted: "Yeah I can't do this Twitter s**t no more... too many trolls. I'll be back when I feel like it." Despite her fans supporting her decision and some others begging her to come back, her feed was overrun with trolls celebrating the fact that they had made her quit Twitter.

It is a known and well-researched fact that women are harassed on social media and other online forums more frequently than men. Trolling and cyberbullying could range from shaming comments and jokes, slurs, offensive language and in extreme cases, stalking and doxxing.

It is also no surprise that women who have an online voice and presence like journalists and celebrities often get an even greater amount of vitriol, especially if they espouse a cause or stand up for a certain issue. Online scrutiny often translates into body shaming especially for celebrities for whom appearance is part of their personal brands.

Chrissy Teigen was body-shamed for a "flat a**" in July 2019. In 2018, Millie Bobby Brown left Twitter after becoming a homophobic meme, without her consent. Kelly Marie Tran, who starred in 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi', deleted all her Instagram photos in June 2018 after months of harassment from racist 'Star Wars' fans.

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[font size="8"]What’s Up With The Royals?
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Just when you think our government can’t get any crazier, the British come along and say “hold my pint of Boddington’s!”. As American looking to engage in a bit of schadenfreude, you can’t help but marvel at the mystical clusterfuck that is the Royal Family. Mystical Clusterfuck, by the way, just got added to Coachella night #2. Anyway, the last time we explored what the Windsors were up to was in our Big British Edition (see Idiots #5-23. The other baffling thing is that here in America, we laugh and mock the supermarket tabloids mercilessly, because they’re full of ridiculously stupid shit. In England? They have so much power that they control the narrative. And they control the narrative so much that they’re actually manipulating the Royals. Which is why Harry and Meghan just said “fuck it”. And you know what Harry? We don’t blame you one bit.

There is no application form for the Royal Family. No interview, no appeal, few in the way of entrances or exits. It is that strange lottery, an accident of birth.

But to stay royal you have to do two things. Serve, and survive.

You have to do some service. Some of it ceremonial, and often dull. Some of it - if it involves celebrities or travel - less dull. A lot of it is woven into the civic life of the UK - openings, namings, lunches and dinners.

You have to survive. You have to aid - and certainly not threaten - the survival of the House of Windsor and the British monarchy.

It's not a bad life. It is a constrained life, often unchosen. In exchange for a pretty comfortable standard of living in perpetuity, you lose a lot of choice.

But you must do these two things if you want to remain a royal.

Damn they have some wacky traditions don’t they? And the weird thing about this story is that the level of bullying from the supermarket tabloids against Meghan and Harry varies depending on who is doing the reporting. But this is never OK under any circumstances and we know how this ends unfortunately, so there is that.

The royal summit over the future roles of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan of Sussex concluded Monday with an endorsement from Queen Elizabeth II herself about what her grandson seeks to do, and a promise that "final decisions" will be reached in coming days.

Shortly after 5 p.m. local time, Buckingham Palace released a statement from the queen in which she described the discussions on the future of "my grandson and his family" as "constructive."

"My family and I are entirely supportive of Harry and Meghan’s desire to create a new life as a young family," the statement said. "Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working Members of the Royal Family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family."

She said Harry and Meghan made it clear they don't want to rely any longer on public funds in their new lives.

"It has therefore been agreed that there will be a period of transition in which the Sussexes will spend time in Canada and the U.K," the statement said. "These are complex matters for my family to resolve, and there is some more work to be done, but I have asked for final decisions to be reached in the coming days."

And seriously, wrong wedding by the way. If our British friends happen to be watching, keep in mind that the people responsible for our GIFs in this segment have been sacked. Although I mean could you imagine working for a company like Paribas or Chase or Deloitte and having Harry Sussex being your cube mate? Wouldn’t that be just such a mind blower? But Mr. and Mrs. Sussex may want to take a step back before figuring out their tax situation. See in the UK they take taxes a lot more seriously than we do in the US.

This could have all been a lot simpler. In 1810, a constitutional amendment, called the Titles of Nobility Amendment, was sent to the states to be ratified. If passed, it would have forced any US citizen who accepted a title of nobility (or a gift without the consent of congress) from a foreign power to forfeit their citizenship.

In other words, Meghan Markle would have ceased being a US citizen the moment she became a Duchess; baby Archie, in turn, wouldn't inherit a US passport either. But it was never ratified, leaving Meghan, Archie, and (by association) Prince Harry to navigate to two very complicated sets of tax and immigration law.

Their situation just a few days ago was complex enough, but it seemed at least like there were clear answers. Now that Meghan and Harry intend to retreat from their royal roles, attain "financial independence," and live part-time in North America, Meghan and Archie's tax and citizenship plans are a little up in the air.

Here, (based on the limited information available about the royal couple's plans) is what we know about how this change will affect Meghan's pursuit of UK citizenship, and the whole Sussex family's taxes.

Still not the Royal Family but that will do. But things are getting serious with the Royals and this Megexit strategy. Is it Megexit? Or is it Megharexit? Let’s go with Megexit. But just like the actual Brexit, things are getting serious in Merry Ol’ England. So serious that even Parliament is having a say into why this Meghan and Harry thing needs to be resolved and resolved quickly. But yeah we’re not hearing the end of this anytime soon and we will keep you informed!

The U.K. should hold a referendum on the future of its royal family, a lawmaker vying for the leadership of the opposition Labour party said Friday.

Clive Lewis, a candidate standing to replace Jeremy Corbyn at the helm of the country’s main opponents to Boris Johnson’s Conservatives, made the suggestion at his campaign launch in London.

Discussing Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s unprecedented decision to step back from their roles as senior royals, Lewis said the couple were perhaps “setting out a model for how the monarchy could be in the future.”

“A lot of people would like to see the monarchy scaled down,” he told reporters. “There’s been lots of discussion about the fact that the monarchy is quite large and there are a lot of people being paid by the public purse.”

Noting that he had been an advocate of a second referendum on the U.K.’s EU membership, Lewis suggested Brits should be consulted on whether to keep the royal institution in place.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. And I love these stories because we could do 100 of them every single week and they would be all different, and they would be all crazy. So who is dumb this week? Well I want to start with this story out of Bridgeport, Pennsylvania where a guy stole a whole bunch of merchandise from a CVS and then came up with an absolutely bonkers excuse for the police as to why he had all the stolen goods in his pants. But at least he saved a few thousand trees for printing one CVS receipt. Hey, they are that long. Yes, that’s what she said. But let’s hear the guy’s excuse.

Bridgeville, PA, police officers were called a local pharmacy the day after Christmas for a “shoplifting in progress call.” The suspect was quickly taken into custody and found to have $100 worth of stolen merchandise. Many of the items were removed from their original packaging, and the security label on one of the items was destroyed.

Police say the suspect first told them that they had actually intended to pay for the items before leaving. However, the suspect did not have any money, credit or debit cards. Officers say the suspect then told them that a brother was coming to pay for the items.

In the meantime, police say they also found “a few unknown pills in their front pocket, a glassine baggie containing suspicious white powder in the other pocket and suspected heroin in another pocket.” When questioned about it, police say the suspect told them, “These aren’t my pants.”

Officers then asked who the pants actually belonged to. When the suspect told them they were “my cousin’s pants,” they asked for that person’s name. The suspect responded, “I don’t know. The person is not really my cousin, more of a friend that’s like a cousin.”

The police department says: “If you wake up today with the intention of wearing someone else’s pants, whether or not you intend on being involved in skulduggery, please check your pockets first.”


I’m going to start using that excuse. “Hey these aren’t my pants!!”. Next up – we are going to Amish country in Michigan. Yes, even the Amish are not immune from stupidity. And we’ve had so many different types of DUIs featured in “People Are Dumb”. We’ve had DUI on a lawnmower, we’ve had DUI on bicycles. We’ve had DUIs on horses, and now we have DUI on a horse-driven carriage. And surprisingly it’s more common than you might thing.

GLADWIN COUNTY, Mich. (WPBN/WGTU) -- Four subjects were arrested after Gladwin County deputies found them tossing beer cans out of a horse and buggy while riding in Beaverton Township.

Deputies said they encountered the group in the area of Beaverton Road and Bard Road around 4 p.m. on Sunday.

The four subjects originally gave false information for their ages, deputies said and refused to give their names.

Upon further investigation, several open and unopened containers of alcohol were located in the buggy, deputies said, and all four subjects were under the influence of alcohol.

The sheriff's office identified the four as Levei Mast, 20, Andrew Zook, 19, Joseph Miller, 20, and Joseph Troyer, 19, all from Gladwin County.

Yes they are! Next up – I think this might be the all drunk edition of People Are Dumb because we’re going to Oklahoma for this next story. But here’s what I want to know – how do you drive a pickup truck with a sleeping passenger and a goat across state lines without the goat making some noise? Goats are assholes when it comes to that sort of thing and they don’t like to be disturbed. So this story raises a whole bunch of questions!

A man stole a pickup truck with a sleeping passenger and a goat inside it and drove it all the way from Missouri to Oklahoma before releasing the terrified victim and animal and eventually being arrested, authorities say.

According to an arrest report, two men in the truck parked outside of an adult video store in Carthage, Missouri, early Wednesday. The driver went inside the store and the passenger fell asleep. When the passenger awoke, a masked man was driving the truck and pointing a gun at his head, Tulsa TV station KOTV reported.

The carjacking suspect, 40-year-old Brandon Kirby, drove from Missouri through Kansas. During the 130-mile ordeal, Kirby took methamphetamine, pistol-whipped the victim and continually threatened him, according to the arrest report. He was eventually arrested in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, after he let the passenger and the goat out of the truck and the victim called 911, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol said.

The Sand Springs Police Department said on Facebook: “OK 2020, it only took you 4.5 hours to get weird. Let's slow down on the carjacking-goatnapping calls for the remainder of the year.”


Yeah that was a goat! Next up of course we can’t get out of here without mentioning America’s most penis-shaped state, the great state of Florida, because Florida never ceases to bring the crazy week after week after week. And this story involves a man and a dog. Except the dog in question happened to be a police dog, and the guy in question happened to be naked and high on meth. Or as they call it in Northern Florida, Tuesday.

Locals called 911 after spotting Watts roaming around with a flashlight, according to Action News Jackson. When police arrived, they found Watts in a ditch making bird noises.

Upon spotting the deputies, Watts flew the coop and sought shelter under a mobile home. After police convinced him to come out of hiding, Watts’ reportedly struck one of the officers repeatedly. Cops brought in Casper after their attempts to subdue the alleged perp with stun guns proved ineffective. More than a half-dozen officers were called to the scene.

Watts’ was taken to an area hospital for a check-up after losing the dogfight, then brought to a county jail.

He’s accused of resisting arrest, battery on a law enforcement officer and aggravated battery on a service dog.

Yeah you don’t provoke a police dog under any circumstances. Finally for this week – we go to Louisiana, yes, Looooooooooooooosiana has their fair share of stupid people. Not all of them who live in the Gulf Coast live in Florida. But this might be one of the stupidest drug users that we’ve ever seen here. If the cops pull you over, maybe don’t hide your stash in such an obvious place!

A Louisiana woman is behind bars on a felony drug possession charge after police discovered her methamphetamine stash in a small plastic container that was helpfully labeled “Dope.”

Cops responded Saturday night to a West Monroe residence after an unidentified complainant reported finding “suspected narcotics” inside the apartment, which is home to Candyce Neel, 41.

According to a probable cause affidavit, through “further investigation,” an officer found the “Dope” container with “suspected methamphetamine inside.”

Neel, cops say, left the apartment “prior to deputies speaking with her.” However, she was later arrested after being found hiding behind the residence. After being read her rights, Neel reportedly “admitted ownership of the suspected narcotics.”

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep.
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates”! We’re going to keep this up all the way through the election, save for when we start Stupidest State in March. But our voters’ guide is designed to keep all of our information about the 2020 election in one place – whether it’s the candidates or the issues, you can find it here! Last week, we talked about the dropouts and we would discuss the end of Cory Booker’s campaign, but instead we’re going to talk this week about one of the unsung heroes of the 2020 campaign and that is businessman Andrew Yang. But his followers, on the other hand, are almost kind of like a cult. So what are they after? What do they want? We will examine these things.

Andrew Yang wants to be taken seriously. The problem is he can’t resist the zaniness that got him attention in the first place.

Zigzagging across Iowa with a ragtag group of aides and “Yang Gang” die-hards, it’d be easy to forget you were watching not just a candidate for president — but one who beat out sitting U.S. senators and governors to become one of seven contenders gracing the debate stage Thursday.

At campaign events, the man who has focused attention on the dangers of computer automation emerges to the ‘90s R&B classic “Return of the Mack.” He plays Super Mario Bros. in the back of his campaign bus and has never met a dad joke he couldn’t tell.

It’s the central tension of Yang’s long-shot campaign. He’s the dude who hypes up crowds at his own events, slapping the hands of people in the front row like he’s the lead singer at a rock concert. And he is the candidate whose performance has defied every expectation — and just wants the media to show him some respect.

Well, easy answer to that question is a resounding “NO!”. I mean come on we’re a mere 3 fucking weeks away from Iowa and we have to unseat Trump, and everything is an absolute mess right now. That said, we need a front runner. While Cory Booker ended his campaign, Trump is attacking anyone and everyone who dares to question him. But the “Yang Gang” as they’re called, are ready to fight back! I mean they are hopping mad.

When Andrew Yang asked Washington politicians about the job-killing impact of the “Fourth Industrial Revolution,” they told him nothing would happen in Washington unless he created a wave of popular support they couldn’t ignore.

“You may not know it, but you are that wave,” Yang told about 100 people Monday afternoon at The Jitney, a Monticello wine bar. “You have to help us rewrite the rules of the 21st century to work for you, your families, your town, your community.

“This is our chance to retake our government,” he said.

Most Americans think their government is controlled by millions of dollars from corporate lobbyists, “and they are generally correct,” Yang said.

“You are the only people in the country who can do something about it” by participating in Iowa’s first-in-the-nation caucuses Feb. 3, Yang said.

Yang had his fans, but several audience members came out of curiosity about the former tech entrepreneur and his plans, especially his “trickle-up” economic plan that would have the federal government pay every adult $1,000 a month.

Well let’s hope that it doesn’t come to that. But that’s why Andrew Yang is so popular! His fans want to get paid! And seriously who doesn’t with skyrocketing rent and student loans? We need some dolla dolla bills y’all!!! But there is some good news – as the Yang Gang is getting hot at the right time, they have picked up a celebrity endorsement! And that is from our good friend Childish Gambino!

The "Yang Gang" came out in force on Thursday to get a glimpse of the multihyphenate Glover endorsing the presidential candidate at a pop-up event on Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles, where signed hoodies and caps were available for purchase.

By midday Thursday, the line at the corner of Fairfax and Rosewood avenues had swelled to hundreds of people and wrapped itself around several city blocks. The queue had formed at around 6 a.m., which by Fairfax’s standards — home to Los Angeles' streetwear mecca Supreme and rapper Tyler the Creator’s Golf Wang — isn’t terribly impressive. But unlike normal events in L.A.’s hippest retail district, there were no Yeezys at stake. This crowd was here to get a glimpse of the newest, and one of the cleverest, political pairings of the democratic presidential primary so far: Donald Glover and Andrew Yang.

"I’ve been a fan of Donald’s for a very long time," Yang told a press gaggle inside a shop on Fairfax where signed hoodies and hats were on sale with all proceeds going to Yang’s campaign.

Less than 24 hours earlier, the multihyphenate Glover (who performs music under the stage name Childish Gambino) had announced to his 3.7 million Instagram followers that he would be participating in a pop-up event to raise money for Yang just hours before the candidate was set to participate at the sixth Democratic presidential debate at Loyola Marymount University. For the "Yang Gang," as his most devoted followers are known, Glover endorsing Yang was somewhat akin to Oprah backing Barack Obama in 2008.

See that kids? You want to hang with the cool people, vote Dem. You want to hang with white supremacists, sexless losers, doomsday preppers, and angry assholes, vote Trump. So Donald Glover is down with the Yang Gang but his list of celebrity endorsements doesn’t stop there. Trump picks up who? Kid Rock? Ted Nugent? Bill O’Reilly? On the other hand Dem candidates like Andrew Yang can pick up endorsements like these.

Politics may be show business for ugly people, but that only means politicians crave the approval of the Hollywood hoi polloi. As we career towards the Iowa primary next month, the Democratic candidate with the most lucrative celebrity endorsers may surprise you.

Andrew Yang seems to relish his dark-horse status in the race. Yet despite his outrageously limited speaking time in the debates and repeated omissions in MSNBC graphics, the entrepreneur has managed to secure support from some of the hippest sections of public life.

Don’t believe Cockburn? The Yang Gang now includes polymath Donald Glover (aka Childish Gambino), Guardians of the Galaxy director and cancelation survivor James Gunn, tech guru and suspected blood mage Elon Musk, fellow wizard Penn Jillette and wrestling champion Chris Jericho.

Yang has also leaned heavily on his Asian background (Math hats?) to stand out from the crowded Democratic field. It’s no surprise therefore that he’s bagged the endorsements of The Hangover and Community star Ken Jeong, future Marvel superhero Simu Liu and The Walking Dead‘s Steven Yeun.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re one week away from the Iowa Straw Poll and we’ll offer our big preview and what you can expect. The road to the DNC 2020 continues!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Foals[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen my next guest is an awesome British band, they have a great new double album out called “Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost”, playing their song “Exits”, give it up for Foals!

Thank you U-Mass! We had an awesome time! We are off to Georgetown in fabulous Washington DC next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: University of Massachusetts, Amherst
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: U-Mass Choir Club, Amherst, MA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 15, 2020, 04:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-1: Living In A Mobster's Paradise Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #8-1: Living In A Mobster’s Paradise Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Syracuse? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! It’s a new year, I hope everyone is refreshed from the holidays. And I hope that everyone loses the weight that they gained from eating all the holiday sweets! What? I’m just saying it happens! Miss, give it a chance, I just got up here. For those of you viewing at home there’s people already leaving! We still have an hour! Plus we got some awesome live music to start us off with from Anti-Flag. You know we here at the Top 10 like to provide job opportunities, and we’ve got one for you right now. Yes, we’re channeling our inner job service provider here. What’s the job? Oh only driving the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile as a “brand ambassador”. Now don’t make jokes yet, but it’s easier to get into an Ivy League than it is to drive the Weinermobile,. I’m guessing because it’s a very long vehicle and difficult to drive through tunnels. But you get to be a “brand ambassador”, whatever that is, But you get to drive the country in the Weinermobile, how cool is that? OK yeah my inner 5 year old is cheering this, but whatever. Hey at least you get a job where it pays to travel! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first Stephen Colbert is back (yay!!!) and dives head first into the possibility of World War III:

I got to be honest here, we had a much different edition planned before the shit show with Iran started taking place. In the first slot this week of course whenever the Top 10 is on an extended break, we always like to catch up on stuff we missed (1), and because our president is such a loose cannon, anything can happen in this topsy-turvy world in which we live. In the second slot this week, did the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (2) inadvertently start World War III? Well we as a society need to take a step back and collectively pull each other’s heads out of our asses. Taking the third slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (3). And we have to recap his black tie New Year’s Eve at Mar-A-Shithole, and well, it might be the worst red carpet ever. Taking the fourth slot this week is one of our favorite segments on natural and man-made disasters – “We’re All Gonna Die!!!” and for this one we’re going to do a Choose Your Own Adventure style for this one – are we going to die in horrifying fires or nuclear winter? The choice is yours! Taking the fifth slot this week is of course our weekly investigative piece, “Top 10 Investigates” (5), and this week we’re going to take a look at plastic bag bans – do they work and how effective are they? In the #6 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and WTF, people. Our resident pastor is back from vacation and he sees that the insane prophecy among the Trump hardcore known as “Q” has become self-aware, and yeah it’s insane. Taking the 7th slot this week we have a new “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and this week, there’s some extreme celebrity trolling happing and it’s getting ugly no matter if you’re the troll or you’re getting trolled. At slot #8 this week is a new edition of one of our favorite segments – “This Fucking Guy” and this week’s profile is a guy who is a rising star among conservatives, and that is recently pardoned war hero / criminal Edward Gallagher (8) and if you guessed that he’s a bad guy, well, you’re not wrong. And in the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new People Are Dumb (9) and of course on New Year’s there’s no shortage of incredibly stupid people. Finally this week, our 2020 voters’ guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, is going to take a look at the latest people to drop out of the 2020 race including Julian Castro and Bill DeBlasio, and you might be wondering who the hell are these guys? Well, so do the rest of us! And what better way to start 2020 than with a band whose new album is called “2020 Vision”? That’s right, our good friends Anti-Flag will be joining us! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
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Happy New Year everybody!!! Whew!!! It is good to be back! How was your holidays and New Year’s? I hope they were good. Since we were out for almost a month, whenever the Top 10 is on an extended break, we like to catch up on stuff we missed. Because this is a ridiculous world we live in, fueled by social media, where everything crazy happens on an almost hourly basis, and there’s no off switch, none whatsoever. Which means that we miss some absolutely batshit crazy stuff. Like for instance Trump almost declaring World War III, which we will get to in a minute. Let’s lighten things up a bit, you know, the calm before the storm. Let’s start with the Home Alone 2 outrage. Yeah that was a thing that happened.

President Donald Trump reacted to news that his short cameo in the 1992 movie "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York" was cut from a Canadian television channel's recent broadcasts. While Mr. Trump appeared to make light of it on Twitter, many of his fans, including his eldest son, disapproved of the cut and raised questions of political bias — even though it turns out the edit was made in 2014, well before Mr. Trump decided to run for office.

On Thursday, Mr. Trump poked fun at Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau after the CBC network removed the scene showing Mr. Trump walking through the Plaza Hotel as actor Macaulay Culkin's character, Kevin McCallister, stops him to ask for directions.

"I guess Justin T doesn't much like my making him pay up on NATO or Trade!" he tweeted. In another tweet, he wrote, "The movie will never be the same! (just kidding)".

Donald Trump Jr. ripped the CBC for taking out the scene in an Instagram post, calling the Canadian broadcaster "totally pathetic." "Imagine being so 'triggered' that you can't even leave a Christmas movie alone without editing," he wrote. "This is what we are up against in 2020."

Yeah so that happened. Then is there anything that the Trumps don’t make super weird or creepy, I mean anything? Just take a look at Donald Trump Jr.’s Christmas gift. Now don’t boo yet – yes he got an assault rifle that had Hillary’s picture in prison with it. Fitting because he’ll be the one most likely going to prison in the near future. And we’re not going to show it because we don’t want to encourage this kind of behavior. That said…

Donald Trump Jr. on Sunday posted three photos on Instagram of his AR-15 that features a depiction of Hillary Clinton apparently behind bars. In the images, President Trump's eldest son smiles while holding the assault rife. The former secretary of state can be seen on the weapon's magazine.

"Nice day at the range," he wrote. "@rarebreedfirearms and @spikes_tactical adding a little extra awesome to my AR and that mag ..." he wrote.

The image apparently shows the 2016 Democratic nominee behind jail bars. "Lock her up" became a frequent rally cry for supporters of Donald Trump Jr.'s father during the 2016 and 2020 presidential campaigns. The AR-15 also shows a medieval knight's helmet with a Crusader cross above the magazine. It also has "Made in the USA" and "Crusader" emblazoned on the rifle.

The president is facing articles of impeachment as well global scrutiny for authorizing an airstrike that killed Iran's top military official Qassem Soleimani.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! This might be the worst Christmas gift ever. I was going to talk about how Matt Bevin pardoned that rapist, but then again we’re trying to keep things light around here, this is a comedy show after all! I do have to talk about what may be the most Florida conservative of all Florida conservative events – there’s a convention now that women pay good money to go listen to male lecturers man ‘splain stuff to them. Yes that’s a thing that exists!

Organizers say it is "destined to be the mansplaining event of the century."

Brought to you by the same Orlando-based bros who host the 21 Convention to "actualize the ideal man," the 22 Convention is coming to "make women great again."

The May 1-3 event will be held at an Orlando location disclosed to only to those who pay for admission. Tickets cost $1,999 (there's a sale for $999), and are only sold to women. All of the speakers are men.

"Women today are being taught to act more like men," says the 22 Convention website, which they say has led to divorce, depression, dysfunction, and rampant single motherhood. "No longer will you have to give in to toxic bullying feminist dogma and go against your biological nature," say organizers.

Mansplainers on hand to redirect the wayward women in attendance include convention founder Anthony Johnson, whose bio says his mission is to "destroy the feminist establishment," Alexander Coates, described as a "fitness guru and modern-day philosopher winning the minds of men and the hearts of women," and other right-wing personalities with hundreds of thousands of followers on Twitter and Facebook (which are definitely not Russian bots, like those of men's rights activist and 21 Convention speaker Mike Cernovich).


Seriously, is 1960s James Bond one of the keynote speakers? The last thing I want to catch up on is Meat Loaf vs Greta Thunberg. Yes, you know Meatloaf as the perfectly sane and rational singer from Celebrity Apprentice.

Yeah whew, I would not want to get on that guy’s bad side, he seems like he could be a future serial killer, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has skeletons in his closet. Don’t worry, we’ll expand on this topic in next week’s “Beating A Dead Horse”. But for now there’s this.

Greta Thunberg responded to singer Meat Loaf's assertion that she has been "brainwashed" on climate change by stating that the issue of environmental injustice extends well beyond him.

The "Bat Out of Hell" singer told the Daily Mail in a Jan. 1 interview that he does not believe in climate change, but rather, that he believes Thunberg, 17, has been "brainwashed."

"She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't," he said. "She hasn't done anything wrong but she's been forced into thinking that what she is saying is true."

Thunberg, who was named Time magazine's Person of the Year for 2019, responded to the musician on Twitter on Monday, wri

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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If there’s one person who we don’t need at the helm of these great United States of ours during a time of potential war, it’s Donald J. Trump. Because when it comes to choices, he doesn’t always pick the one that would cause the least amount of chaos. He’s more like the Joker. He doesn’t have any rhyme or reason to anything he does. He just wants to cause chaos. And that is his specialty. He’s the most unstable individual we’ve ever had serving in the Oval Office, and when it comes to war, as Commander In Chief, Trump will almost always take the most extreme position. It’s as if they gave him 5 choices and he just picked one at random like in the Simpsons Movie.

President Donald Trump dug in Sunday night on his threat to attack Iranian cultural sites if Tehran retaliates for the killing of Gen. Qassem Soleimani, one of Iran's top military and intelligence officials.

Speaking aboard Air Force One on his return to Washington on Sunday from a holiday at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, Trump said: "They’re allowed to kill our people. They’re allowed to torture and maim our people. They’re allowed to use roadside bombs and blow up our people. And we’re not allowed to touch their cultural sites. It doesn’t work that way."

Trump was responding to backlash over the threat he made via Twitter on Saturday to attack 52 targets if Iran retaliates and his claim in a tweet that those targets would be "at a very high level & important to Iran & the Iranian culture," according to a pool report.

Asked about fears Iran might retaliate, the president told reporters: "If it happens, it happens. If they do anything, there will be major retaliation."

Holy shit!!! Not only does Trump murder the second in command in Iran, and threatens to attack their country’s cultural sites, he doubles down on that shit! Wouldn’t that be enough to tell the MAGAs that he’s not the right guy for the job? He’s going to get a whole lot of people killed in the process and they may not be limited to just the military. And what the fuck is he talking about? Man, remind the Idiots that we should never take a break that long ever again!

President Donald Trump threatened to impose deep sanctions on Iraq if it moves to expel U.S. troops and said Sunday he would not withdraw entirely unless the military is compensated for the "extraordinarily expensive air base" there.

Trump's remarks came on the same day that Iraq's Parliament voted to support expelling the U.S. military from its country over mounting anger about a drone strike the president ordered last week that killed Iran's Qasem Soleimani and earlier U.S. airstrikes in the country. The vote was nonbinding.

"We've spent a lot of money in Iraq," Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One as he returned to Washington after spending the holidays at his Florida resort, Mar-a-Lago. "We have a very extraordinarily expensive air base that’s there. It cost billions of dollars to build. ... We’re not leaving unless they pay us back for it."

The president added that if Iraqi officials try to kick the United States out the country it would not leave on a "very friendly basis." The U.S. invasion of Iraq took place in 2003.

Yeah so it’s going to be kind of like that. Hey everyone we’re all gonna die! And yes we’re going to get to that segment in a few minutes. And come on, if there’s one thing that Trump knows, its’ sizes. And in particular sizes of his male organ… er, army. And he’s warning Iran that if they retaliate against the US, be prepared to suffer the consequences! Holy shit, we really are gonna die aren’t we?

President Donald Trump on Sunday repeated a threat to target Iranian cultural sites, which critics say could amount to a war crime, if Tehran retaliates for a U.S. drone strike that killed its top military general.

"They’re allowed to kill our people. They’re allowed to torture and maim our people. They’re allowed to use roadside bombs and blow up our people,” Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One on his way back to Washington, D.C, from his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida. “And we’re not allowed to touch their cultural site? It doesn’t work that way."

Trump's comments appeared to contradict Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, who earlier on Sunday vowed the administration would "behave lawfully" in regards to a list of targets the U.S. would strike if Iran launched a retaliatory attack for the death of Gen. Qasem Soleimani, the leader of Iran's elite Quds Force.

Iran has repeatedly vowed to retaliate for the attack, sparking fears it could trigger further military action or launch a war. On Saturday in a pair of tweets, the president warned the U.S. has identified 52 Iranian targets, including some cultural sites, that "WILL BE HIT VERY FAST AND VERY HARD" if Iran were to take action.

Critics — including top Iranian officials — were quick to point out the threat amounted to a war crime.

That guy seems awfully confident about that doesn’t he? But we really might need the panicked guy after this because this is no murder, it’s going to have serious consequences that are going to last decades, maybe even centuries. And the last thing the Middle East needs is more instability. You know it takes a lifetime to build a reputation and some jackass with a wrecking ball can come and knock it down in a matter of seconds. Well, Donald J. Trump is just that jackass!

On Sunday, just days after the U.S. strike that killed the powerful Iranian military commander Qassem Soleimani, the Trump administration got its first real taste of international pushback. The Iraqi parliament voted to oust American troops from the country and Tehran announced that it would pull completely out of its obligations under the 2015 nuclear deal.

The pushback didn’t come in the form of a targeted strike on a major American outpost or U.S. service member, but combined, the two events served as a wakeup call for officials in Washington who for days had tried desperately to manage the fallout of the Soleimani strike, with some describing it as an act to “advance the cause of peace.”

President Donald Trump’s truculent response? Threaten Iraq with sanctions if it expels U.S. troops: “If they do ask us to leave, if we don’t do it in a very friendly basis, we will charge them sanctions like they’ve never seen before ever. It’ll make Iranian sanctions look somewhat tame.”

Tehran’s announcement about its nuclear program Sunday indicated that the efforts Iran and the United States made in recent months to discuss the possibility of negotiations had all but evaporated. And the Iraqi vote in parliament, although nonbinding, worried officials in the State Department who for days had tried to convince officials in Iraq that backing America’s presence in the country was still the best bet for a continued partnership.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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New Year’s Eve was on a Tuesday this year. Yeah really, what the fuck? I know we can’t change the course of nature, but can New Year’s take place on Fridays every year? Well we’re going to talk about one New Year’s Eve party in particular and that was the huge Mar-A-Lago bash that Trump held in Miami to celebrate the new year that is 2020. And man, does anyone have a happier New Year than Donald J. Trump does? The guy looks like he’s constantly pissed off at everything and anything. Let’s take a look at the guest list for this shindig. This might be the worst red carpet ceremony ever.

Sequins and Benghazi. Canapés and a "big fat hoax." Peonies and the potential for war.

President Donald Trump began celebrating a new year Tuesday perched squarely on the junction of opulence and bluster that have come to define his personal and political persona, the clink of Champagne glasses wafting under his stern warning to Iran and a red carpet framing his flaming of Democrats.

He was ushering out a decade that began by crowning Bret Michaels the Celebrity Apprentice and ended with fresh risk for presiding over conflict on two continents. The now-familiar dichotomy between Trump the billionaire celebrity and Trump the commander in chief is never more apparent than at Mar-a-Lago, the South Florida estate where guests jockey to meet the proprietor who also happens to run the country.

Appearing before a bank of cameras he had invited onto his property, Trump warned Iran that the US would vanquish it quickly and deemed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi a "highly overrated person" as his wife looked on.

"We're going to have a great year, I predict," Trump said as he arrived to his party.

Actually you might be wrong. But with guests like these, this is quite the mix. You have gangsters, mobsters, and for some reason Rudy Giuliani keeps getting invited to things.


Seriously this might be the worst red carpet ever - nothing but mobsters, criminals, and MAGAs. Eh, whatever, we’re just living in a mobster’s paradise. Been spending most our lives living in a mobster’s paradise! Yeah that’s my Coolio chunk, because I know what’s hip and cool, damn it! And I mean come on, let's face it, this is what happens when your fashion designer has the same taste as your interior decorator. Who wore it better - her or the drapes? And then there was this guy.

President Donald Trump rang in the new year just like the rest of us: at a big, fancy party, surrounded by family, friends, and MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell.

Yup – that’s Minnesota’s own evangelizing pillow mogul swanking it up at Mar-a-Lago. Other notable guests included Fox anchor Lou Dobbs—a man who once attributed the simple act of having a “good weekend” to Trump—and Ben Carson, former neurosurgeon and longtime Trump cabinet member, as far as Trump cabinet members go. The First Lady and Trump’s five children were there as well.

The party wasn't the only fun Lindell had on New Year's Eve: Check out this thumbs-up photo with U.S. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina) he posted on Twitter

Lindell has been one of Trump’s biggest supporters in Minnesota for a while now, even going as far as claiming the president was “chosen by God," and this isn't his first invite to a party with the swankiest of Trump supporters. In January 2017, Lindell was a guest at Trump's inauguration bash, where he was reportedly... a hit with the ladies.

And that’s why you don’t make deals with the Mafia. Although if you kiss Don Trump’s ass enough you might get an invite to his NYE bash. And come on, who cuts loose more than Donald J. Trump does? He seems like he’s constantly unhappy. I don’t need to remind you of what happened when he went to his first CPAC convention (see: Top 10 #3-5 ). But this might be the craziest part of his NYE – ever feel like there’s people who know more than you when a major event happens? Well Trump may have breached a whole shit ton of government protocols by showing this video to his Mar-A-Lago guests.

In the five days prior to launching a strike that killed Iran’s most important military leader, Donald Trump roamed the halls of Mar-a-Lago, his private resort in Florida, and started dropping hints to close associates and club-goers that something huge was coming.

According to three people who’ve been at the president’s Palm Beach club over the past several days, Trump began telling friends and allies hanging at his perennial vacation getaway that he was working on a “big” response to the Iranian regime that they would be hearing or reading about very “soon.” His comments went beyond the New Year’s Eve tweet he sent out warning of the “big price” Iran would pay for damage to U.S. facilities. Two of these sources tell The Daily Beast that the president specifically mentioned he’d been in close contact with his top national security and military advisers on gaming out options for an aggressive action that could quickly materialize.

“He kept saying, ‘You’ll see,’” one of the sources recalled, describing a conversation with Trump days before Thursday’s strike.

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what? We’re all gonna die! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Woooooooooo!!! Wooooooo. Woo. Of course I say this every time that devastating wildfires or impending nuclear Armageddon are in the news, but there’s actually a couple of ways that we could die this week and for that we’re doing this in a “choose your own adventure” style format. Yes, remember those books that you loved as a kid? Well now they’re being used to determine your own death. Yes, sleep tight everybody! So how could you possibly literally die in a fire this week? Well we’re not making fun of the horror in Down Under just yet, instead we’re going to let this play out a bit.

The world has watched with horror as bushfires have torn across Australia, leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.

The blazes have razed almost 2,000 homes, and killed at least 25 people and hundreds of millions of animals since they began in September.

People in Australia and abroad, including politicians and celebrities, have been eager to find ways to offer assistance and support.

But authorities have warned that some kinds of help can actually be a hindrance and overwhelm fire-affected communities.

Here are some of the ways that the world has responded to Australia's bushfire crisis, and what help those responding to the crisis say is needed.

Hey hey hey, we don’t need to give that kid any matches. Though that may be too far off, now before we go any further, do we want to continue with what’s happening in Australia or do we switch to what’s happening in Iran? You’re choosing Iran? Great, let’s run with it. Yes Trump’s gone and screwed the pooch with US – Middle Eastern relations. But guess what? If the fires don’t kill us, a giant fiery nuclear apocalypse might!

In foreign policy circles, the policy was known as the “maximum pressure” campaign. Donald Trump and his team abandoned the international nuclear agreement with Iran, despite the fact that it was working exactly as intended, with the intention of moving towards a policy that would be “tougher” and even more effective.

As Colin Kahl, an Obama administration veteran, recently explained, “Trump’s ‘maximum pressure’ campaign was supposed to induce Iran to scrap its nuclear program (which was already contained by the 2015 nuclear deal). Instead, Trump’s actions have incentivized Iran to restart it, creating a completely unnecessary crisis.”


Geopolitical debates over nuclear policy can be complex, but the dynamic in this instance is surprisingly straightforward. Before Trump abandoned the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) – the formal name for the Iran nuclear deal – Iran’s nuclear weapons program was on indefinite hold. In the months that followed the Republican’s decision, officials in Tehran took incremental steps in a dangerous direction, starting up advanced centrifuges, for example, increasing the speed with which Iran can produce enriched uranium.

In the wake of Trump’s airstrike killing Gen. Qassem Soleimani, Iran has gone even further, announcing over the weekend that it’s now ending its commitment to limit enrichment of uranium.

Or put another way, the American president, for reasons he’s struggled to explain, has taken a series of unnecessary steps that have accelerated the Iranian nuclear program that had been kept in check.

Ok so before we go any further, stick with the nuclear apocalypse or do we go back to the Australia fires? Let’s stick with the fires? Great, let’s run with it! Well whenever disaster strikes you can always count on charities ready to help, and scammers to take some of that hard earned money away from legitimate charities. And you can also find creative ways to help get people to donate. Like this!

The model who went viral this week for inspiring people to donate to Australian bushfire relief in exchange for her nude photos now estimates she has raised more than $1 million.

Kaylen Ward, 20, ignited the craze on Jan. 3 with a tweet saying she would send a nude photo to anyone who provided proof that they donated to one of a list of organizations working in Australia.

That tweet blew up; just a few days later, Ward estimated that more than $1 million in donations had been generated.

Ward told BuzzFeed News she's "extremely overwhelmed" and "so happy."

It's hard to pin down an exact number of donations attributed to Ward, and BuzzFeed News cannot verify the $1 million figure. Her estimate is based on how many legitimate donation receipts are being sent per minute that meet the minimum of $10. Ward said that — after filtering out fake receipts and other DMs, such as ones from well-wishers — about 50% of the messages she's getting are legit.

Well maybe don’t send Homer to Australia anytime soon! So do we talk more about Iran or do we continue with the fires? Fires? So it turns out that people are dicks! You know the reason why Australia is burning? Well after hearing this news, you’ll probably want Iran to accelerate its’ nuclear program because, not only are people dicks, they’re intentional dicks making a mockery of how much our planet is truly fucked. Bring on the apocalypse! Wait, that’s not the official Top 10 position? Fine.

Police in Australia have arrested and charged two dozen people they say deliberately lit blazes during the wildfire season that has so far killed at least 18 people, destroyed thousands of homes and ravaged over 10 million acres of land.

New South Wales police said that since the beginning of November, 24 people have been charged over allegedly deliberately lighting fires as officers continue to investigate the role that arson has played in the devastation. Starting a wildfire can result in a jail sentence of up to 21 years.

"Investigations into the cause, origin and overall impact of fires are continuing and since the latest State of Emergency was declared...Strike Force Tronto has provided expertise to six police area commands and eight police districts," NSW police said in a statement.

"As inquiries continue, police are appealing to the community to provide footage and/or images from phones, dashcam, or other devices, that show any of the fires in their infancy, even if only from a distance."

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Plastic Bag Ban
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

Plastic bags and Styrofoam containers may soon be history. In fact since California enacted their plastic bag ban, new states have since joined California in that practice. Those states include New York, Massachusetts, Oregon, and New Jersey, and even Mexico City is now joining in the mix. But just how effective are the plastic bag bans? Do they work? Do they not work? In fact here’s how one town in New Jersey is dealing with the effects of a recently enacted plastic bag ban. And that is, you’d better stock up on your reusable shopping bags, or you’re gonna have a bad time. We learned that her e in California the hard way.

As the village’s single-use plastic bag ban took effect, a local Stop & Shop store rang in the New Year by giving customers free reusable shopping bags.

Ridgewood and neighboring Paramus, Saddle Brook, Glen Rock and Garfield banned single-use plastic bags beginning Wednesday, the result of municipal ordinances that were years in the making.

“It’s really to support the bag ban on single-use bags,” store manager Mike Scolza said of the giveaway. “It’s part of doing business. It’s doing right for the community; it’s doing right for our customers. And I’m just committed to doing the right things.”

Scolza’s store was mostly empty during the first morning of 2020, but some shoppers arrived with reusable bags in tow.

Employees were quick to offer shoppers the free bags emblazoned with the store’s traffic light logo.

“I think it’s a good thing,” customer Kevin O’Connor said of the bag ban as he stood in the checkout line.

That was the movie “American Beauty”. But in reality the plastic bag bans are reshaping how goods are consumed because now consumers have to think how they’re going to get their packaged goods home after shopping. Take a look at what’s happening in Mexico City, it’s not just forcing customers to purchase reusable bags, some are even finding creative ways to think outside of the box, or bag in this case.

For centuries, Mexico City residents brought warm tortillas home in reusable cloths or woven straw baskets, and toted others foods in conical rolls of paper, “ayate” mesh or net bags, or even string bundles.

People in Mexico's massive capital city may have to return to those old ways, when a new law that took effect Wednesday bans the plastic bags that became ubiquitous over the last 30 years. Some say they are ready and willing, and grocery stores are promising to promote reusable synthetic fiber bags, but others are struggling to get their minds around how the ban will work in practice.

“We have a very rich history in ways to wrap things,” said Claudia Hernández, the city's director of environmental awareness. “We are finding that people are returning to baskets, to cucuruchos,” she said, referring to cone-shaped rolls of paper once used to wrap loose bulk goods like nuts, chips or seeds.

Some Mexico City residents still use traditional ayate bags, or tortilla towels or baskets, and many — especially the elderly — pull two-wheeled, folding shopping baskets through grocery stores. Some merchants still use old sardine cans to measure out bulk goods.

Don’t try that at home, we’re not encouraging this sort of thing here. But as far as plastic bag bans go, this is one of those things that helps to know before you go. Because otherwise this could very well end in disaster and people could be using more plastic bags than the bans originally sought. And if you don’t have plastic bags ready the next time you go to the store, you will either pay for it or you will regret it later on.

Oregon’s plastic bag ban at grocery stores began on January 1, but it’s still catching many shoppers by surprise.

It’s the state’s latest push in trying to limit single-use plastics. Shoppers are encouraged to bring their own reusable bags to stores. That is still taking some getting use to for some people who were shopping at the Beaverton Fred Meyer on Sunday.

“I don’t really pay attention to it, but I’ve noticed today there’s more people with bags and carts than normally,” said shopper Amanda Fabiano.

“Everybody else was doing it, so only about time we started doing it,” said fellow Fred Meyer shopper Kim Mansley. “Because they do it in California, they do it in Washington.”

The plastic bag bans don’t apply to the smaller produce bags in stores for things like fruits and vegetables. Paper bags are also still available in stores for customers, but those now cost 5 cents per bag.

Well just because everyone does it, well, this is one thing that everyone else does that you should be doing. But what we are saying is be prepared. Because if you don’t that could end very badly for you the next time you’re in the check out line. but going forward this is what we can expect for the new year and ahead in terms of supporting the environment.

When the Maryland legislature reconvenes Jan. 8, legislators of both parties say they will continue the battle against climate change.

Some of their plans are much more aggressive than others.

Del. Brooke Lierman, a Baltimore Democrat, said she will sponsor a plastic bag ban in the next session and ask for a study of other single-use plastics, such as food utensils and water bottles.

Lierman said Marylanders can unlearn their dependence on plastic. “The phenomenon of single-use bags is very new,” Lierman said. “We have to take steps to reduce the demand for plastic.”

A generation ago, she said, people didn’t use plastic bags, but now, people have become dependent. And it’s not just bags. “Our behavior has changed to accommodate and to expect a plastic fork to be available wherever we are,” she said. If plastic utensils such as forks are banned, “I am confident that we will all adjust very easily.”

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation!! I am back and rested and ready to go for the new year that is 2020. Now, the question I have on the table for you is that you ever notice that the people who are the ones who tell celebrities that they should stay out of politics are the ones who make everything about politics? I say this as someone who says that the unholy, ungodly Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, currently occupies the White House! Now when you cross people who don’t get the Bible with people who don’t get the Constitution of these great United States, you get followers of the prophecy known as Q Anon. But what does the almighty GAWD have to do with the Q Anon prophecy? Well let’s let them explain.

The Internet has made it easier than ever before to evangelize on behalf of a conspiracy theory. But this week, the missionaries for QAnon used their physical bodies to spread the word, with T-shirts and a paper sign, “We are Q,” aimed at the cameras covering President Trump’s campaign rally.

People noticed, including journalists. The signs became mainstream news, and the news of QAnon spread. On Reddit’s “Great Awakening” discussion board, devoted to QAnon and its supporters, a user wrote, “QAnon is finally trending on Twitter!”

QAnon is as convoluted as any other conspiracy theory out there but with one distinguishing feature: QAnon is the result of a twisted sort of optimism. It gives the people who believe in the Internet conspiracy hope that a reckoning is about to hit.

The layers of the conspiracy go like this: Take your standard Democratic pedophilia ring and world-domination fantasy, but that’s only the base, like the crust of a pizza. Onto this, you layer a fantasy in which President Trump, while posing as a flailing president in public, is secretly orchestrating a crackdown on the entire cabal. Trump is working behind the scenes with special counsel Robert S. Mueller III, whose real federal investigation is aimed at the Clintons. Trump has loyalists spread through the U.S. intelligence agencies, which are otherwise dens of the cabal. The crackdown is imminent. It’s always imminent, and it will be glorious.


Conspiracy theorists are an odd bunch and they definitely fit right in with religion. But what has the Q prophecy been doing lately to establish their street cred?

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: World War III….?
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Oh calm the fuck down people, it’s not World War III yet! Yeah sure, Trump may have ordered an airstrike on an Iranian leader and his entourage after he was getting off a flight in Baghdad, but is the proverbial shit about to hit the fan? Is it really? Well this is one of those instances where we really need to take a step back and pull our collective heads out of each other’s asses. War hasn’t been declared, at least not yet. But social media saw this as the second coming of the apocalypse if you believe end times conspiracy theorists. And nobody should believe them. Because really at this point the only other people who believe conspiracy theorists are well, other conspiracy theorists. And that’s where it gets crazy.

World War III rapidly became one of the top trending topics on Twitter after last night’s announcement that a U.S. airstrike killed Iran’s top general.

While a war on that scale is unlikely, according to experts, the actions put the U.S. on a new path of escalation.

The airstrike in Baghdad, Iraq, killed Gen. Qassem Soleimani, who was the leader of Iran’s elite Quds Force. In confirming that the U.S. was behind the attack, the Department of Defense said in response that the 62-year-old was “actively developing plans to attack American diplomats and service members in Iraq and throughout the region.”

Iran’s State TV has since reported that the United States has urged Americans to leave Iraq “immediately.”

That warning in and of itself is an answer to the danger that exists, said Trita Parsi, executive vice president of the Quincy Institute for Responsible Statecraft, a policy think tank.

Whoa, hey, calm down man! At least let’s consult the guy in charge to see what he thinks about whether or not we started World War III? Well, we didn’t start it, we may have actually prevented it! At least that’s what Commander In Chief Shit-For-Brains has to say about the subject! If it was to prevent a war, then why are we sending troops over to Iraq and why are people suddenly worried about a draft?

With Iran proving an alarming threat on the world stage, which countries are considered the most dangerous of all?

Medical and travel security services company International SOS has revealed the top riskiest countries in the world for this year.

Although Iran itself is not high on the list, many of the dangerous countries are in the Middle East, as well as Africa.

International SOS looks at both medical risk and security risk for travel.

“The travel security risk rating evaluates the threat posed to travellers and international assignees by political violence (including terrorism, insurgency, politically motivated unrest and war), social unrest (including sectarian, communal and ethnic violence) as well as violent and petty crime,” explained the company.

“Other factors, such as the robustness of the transport infrastructure, the state of industrial relations, the effectiveness of the security and emergency services and the country’s susceptibility to natural disasters are also considered where they are of sufficient magnitude to impact the overall risk environment for travellers.

Of course there’s travel advisories going into Iraq! I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to vacation in Baghdad right now? Such a great, stable region that is welcoming to outsiders! And come on, visit there and you’ll even be treated to a nightly fireworks show! At your own risk of course! But is it OK to joke about World War III? Sure, the Trump administration is providing plenty of fodder for comedians, but where’s the outrage? Remember the Joker’s speech in the Dark Knight or George Carlin’s monologue about how you can joke about anything? Yeah it’s kind of like that.

When something terrible happens in current affairs, people often take to social media to despair.

And, in the Internet age of memes and viral content, for some people that includes sharing jokes online.

That’s what happened today when Iran’s most powerful military commander, General Qasem Soleimani, was killed by a US military airstrike, drastically escalating tensions between Iran and America.

After the news broke, jokes about the risk of not only impending war, but World War Three, came in thick and fast.

However, others have called out these jokes, saying that the history of US warfare in the Middle East and the potential devastation is no laughing matter.

This has ignited a debate about whether comedy about such topics is off-limits, with some people defending the right to make jokes.

OK so let’s recap. In a span of 24 hours, we went from figuring out whether or not we’re going to ignite World War III, to figuring out whether or not we should make jokes about whether or not it’s socially acceptable to joke about World War III. Social media, you got to love it. And speaking of social media, here’s where things get really crazy. you don’t want to fuck with the war machine and the conservative blood lust right now is out of control. Well, all we can say is don’t buy into the hate machine!

An airstrike ordered by President Donald Trump killed Iranian Gen. Qassem Soleimani early Friday, escalating a simmering conflict between the US and Iran that had flared up after an American contractor was killed in Iraq in late December.

The decision to kill Soleimani, who was one of the most powerful people in Iran and directed bloody conflicts around the Middle East, followed a New Year's Eve attack on the US embassy in Baghdad by an Iran-backed militia. Iranian officials vowed revenge for Soleimani's death, and the US is reportedly sending 3,000 more troops to the region.

The attack threw social media punditry into overdrive and sent unverified or bogus information flying around the internet.

This being 2020, though, many people took these dire predictions — it's World War III! — and did what any sensible person with an internet connection would do: channeled their existential dread into memes.

As one TikTok user asked: "Do you fuck with the war?"

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Edward Gallagher
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is a rising star among the Trump faithful and that’s a guy that he personally pardoned, Edward Gallagher. Whew, this fucking guy. Is it any wonder why he received a Trump pardon? There’s no one who loves getting his ass kissed more than Trump does, and if you write anything flattering about him, he’ll pardon you even for the most horrifying crimes possible. And never mind that when you do receive a pardon, you don’t get off the hook for it! So what did Gallagher do that was so horrible? Well not only did he murder Iraqi children, well, he also posed with the bodies of the deceased. Yeah that’s a bad guy. But apparently a good guy in Trump’s eyes because Trump sees bad as good. Just how horrible is this guy?

Over the weekend, President Trump hosted disgraced former Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher at his residence in Mar-a-Lago. According to photos posted on Instagram, Gallagher and his wife Andrea met with the president, along with First Lady Melania Trump, and presented him with a gift from his deployment in Mosul, Iraq. It’s not clear what the gift was.

Gallagher certainly owes Trump some gratitude. In 2018, based on the testimony of members of his unit, the platoon chief was charged with stabbing an unarmed teenage ISIS prisoner, posing for a photo with his corpse, and shooting random Iraqi civilians including an old man and a young girl. He denied the charges. After Gallagher’s case was taken up by several of Trump’s allies in Congress and Fox News commentators, Trump repeatedly intervened in the trial.

The president lambasted the prosecution, and ordered that Gallagher be moved from pretrial detention to house arrest. Gallagher was acquitted of most of the charges after a bizarre trial which included surprise testimony from a key witness who, after being granted immunity from prosecution, said he had been the one to kill the teenager. Gallagher was convicted of posing for a photo with the detainee’s corpse and sentenced to time served. Trump then reversed a decision to demote Gallagher after the conviction and prevented the Navy from removing his Trident pin, a badge of honor for the elite SEALs. Navy secretary Richard Spencer objected to the special treatment of Gallagher and was subsequently asked to resign last month.

Gallagher appears well on the way to a second career on the right-wing celebrity circuit if he wants it. He and his wife were in Florida to attend a summit hosted by the right-wing student group, Turning Point USA. In another Instagram photo, Gallagher poses with Donald Trump Jr. at the event.

Well, obviously. But let’s go over the rules of the pardon. Just because Trump pardoned a guy doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook. And while he could have pardoned Gallagher for one particular crime doesn’t mean that he’s not completely exonerated. But of course Trump fans won’t know that, instead they only see it as Trump can do no wrong. Or can he?

Never-before-seen confidential video reveals shocking details from the war crimes investigation of a decorated Navy SEAL. In interviews obtained by The New York Times'"The Weekly," members of SEAL Team 7 said they witnessed Special Operations Chief Edward Gallagher stabbing a young ISIS fighter for no reason.

The SEALs call Gallagher "toxic," "evil" and a man who was "perfectly OK with killing anybody that was moving," reports CBS News correspondent David Martin.

"I think he just wants to kill anybody he can," one said.

The testimony paints a chilling pattern of violence executed by their platoon chief.

"Did Eddie say anything when he did this or did he just literally pull out a knife and just start stabbing him?" one SEAL was asked.

"He just pulled out a knife and started stabbing him," he replied.

Holy shit this is one evil dude. And I mean really we can’t make any references that would make this funny, so we’re not going to go there. Really, he’s the bad guy. Thank you random audience member, duh! Timing is the key to comedy. But seriously even his superiors that turned him in say that Edward Gallagher is one really bad dude. You really can’t get much more evil than random stabbing, and I’ve seen Barry. But Edward Gallagher is no Barry, Barry has charisma. Edward Gallagher is just an evil asshole with a murderous complex. Which really shows you who the right loves.

A Navy Seal platoon leader controversially cleared of war crimes by Donald Trump was a “toxic” character who was “OK with killing anything that moved”, according to fellow Iraq veterans who reported his conduct to military investigators.

The explosive testimony was published Friday by the New York Times, which obtained previously unseen video interviews and text messages from several former members of an elite commando unit once led by special operations chief Eddie Gallagher.

Gallagher was convicted in July of posing with the dead body of a teenage Islamic State captive he had just killed with a hunting knife. He was granted clemency by the president in November in a decision that angered military chiefs.

In the interviews, conducted by navy investigators looking into Gallagher’s conduct during a tour of duty in Iraq in 2017, fellow platoon members told of a ruthless leader who stabbed the captive to death for no reason then forced his troops to pose for a photograph with the corpse.

Well obviously. So the right loves them some murderers, criminals and crooks. Which makes Edward Gallagher the perfect candidate to join their ranks. But this might be my favorite part of the whole thing – you know what he’s using his newfound fame for? To hawk merchandise! Yes, he’s using his presidential pardon to hawk his lifestyle brand! OMG, this couldn’t get any better!

The New York Times reported on Tuesday that Gallagher appears to have embraced the branding opportunities that come with his increased public profile by launching a clothing collaboration and endorsing nutrition supplements and coffee.

The collaboration, called Salty Frog Gear, includes T-shirts, sweatshirts, and drinkware consisting of a branded whiskey glass and a decanter.

Gallagher has escalated his move into branding since the case, which turned him into a conservative figure who has appeared on Fox News.

He has collaborated with two other clothing brands on two T-shirts that say "Free Eddie." Other T-shirts say "In a world full of mean girls be a Gallagher." He has also endorsed products on his Instagram account with his wife.

Gallagher was charged after his fellow SEALs accused of him of fatally stabbing a young ISIS fighter his team was treating medically in 2017. He posed for a picture with the dead body.

A military jury in July acquitted Gallagher of most of the charges, except for posing with the body, leading to his demotion within the Navy from chief petty officer to petty officer first class.

Woooohooo!!! Got me a presidential pardon, now time to go hawk some t-shirts and crappy nutritional supplements! That’s Edward Gallagher – this week’s This Fucking Guy.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Hey everyone it’s our first new People Are Dumb of the year! Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. Of course we’ve been off for a few weeks so we missed all the Christmas and New Years fails. I always love People Are Dumb stories and I feel like during the holidays people are extra dumb. Especially on New Year’s when you combine copious amounts of alcohol with people shooting guns wildly in the air. When that happens, you know deep down that something bad and/or stupid is taking place. To start with, let’s start with this weird story out of Oklahoma. I mean seriously? We’re only 4 hours into the calendar year that is 2020 but yeah let’s let the story do the talking!

SAND SPRINGS, Okla. — A man stole a pickup truck with a sleeping passenger and a goat inside it and drove it all the way from Missouri to Oklahoma before releasing the terrified victim and animal and eventually being arrested, authorities say.

According to an arrest report, two men in the truck parked outside of an adult video store in Carthage, Missouri, early Wednesday. The driver went inside the store and the passenger fell asleep. When the passenger awoke, a masked man was driving the truck and pointing a gun at his head, Tulsa TV station KOTV reported.

The carjacking suspect, 40-year-old Brandon Kirby, drove from Missouri through Kansas. During the 130-mile ordeal, Kirby took methamphetamine, pistol-whipped the victim and continually threatened him, according to the arrest report. He was eventually arrested in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, after he let the passenger and the goat out of the truck and the victim called 911, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol said.

The Sand Springs Police Department said on Facebook: “OK 2020, it only took you 4.5 hours to get weird. Let's slow down on the carjacking-goatnapping calls for the remainder of the year.”

Oh come on of course things are going to get weird when you get meth and a gun involved. Because we are the country that is dedicated to making sure that idiots get guns. And speaking of idiots with guns, we go to America’s most penis-shaped state, Florida. Yes, Florida never ceases to bring the crazy extra hard and they’re the one state that is making sure that the most idiots get the most guns. Which is when you get stories like this.

Police say a Florida man was "playing cowboy" when he accidentally shot himself. Instead of ending simply in embarrassment, however, the incident ended with the man in handcuffs because he's not legally allowed to own a gun. Police say Matthew Noffsinger Jr., 36, is a convicted felon and as such is prohibited from possessing firearms.

When they questioned him at the hospital early Saturday, he initially claimed he had been "shot by an unknown subject" while in a wooded area. But since the entry and exit wounds went straight down his leg and were not consistent with that story, WFLA reports, police kept pushing until, they say, Noffsinger admitted what really happened.

Police found the .22 revolver that was involved at the scene of the shooting. Police say they also searched Noffsinger's backpack and found a wallet with four credit cards and an ID card that didn't belong to him; he allegedly admitted he found them and that they weren't his.

He was arrested and charged with felon in possession of a firearm and possession of personal information of four people, a felony and a misdemeanor respectively. If convicted, he could face up to 15 years behind bars or a $10,000 fine.


Well, definitely compensating for something! Next up, we go to Texas. See, here’s the thing – young boys like to light things on fire. And I say this since I was one at one point. But that said, even if you’re playing with something as innocent as a magnifying glass, you should do so with adult supervision, because if there’s not a fire extinguisher handy, things could end very badly.

(CNN) - A Christmas present landed a pair of Texas boys in hot water after it helped set their front lawn on fire.

The Parsons got their 12-year-old son a magnifying glass for Christmas, assuming it would be used for reading.

Instead, the boy and his brother used it to burn some newspapers. Moments later, they came running in to report the lawn was on fire.

The whole family sprang into action, using water hoses, sprinklers and blankets to snuff the flames

No one was injured.

Yeah you should probably lead with “no one was injured” next time! Next up – we go back to the Sunshine State, and I love seeing stories of when people go batshit crazy at fast food restaurants. I mean give me a story about a guy who pulls a gun because McDonalds ran out of chicken nuggets and I’m in faster than a McDonalds commercial airs! And this particularly story centers around a guy who took Burger King’s slogan of “have it your way” just a little too literally!

Two Burger King employees were attacked yesterday by a Grubhub deliveryman who “became agitated when informed that his order was not ready for pick up,” according to police reports.

Investigators say that Daniel Delellis, 43, arrived at a Burger King in Clearwater, Florida around 5:20 PM Saturday to “pick up an order” for Grubhub, the online food ordering business.

But when told he would have to wait for the order, Delellis allegedly walked outside and picked up a “3 foot in height hard plastic ash tray” and swung it at the restaurant’s front doors. Delellis, seen at right, then struck a male employee in the chest with the ash tray.

When a 20-year-old female worker told Delellis that he had to leave the property, Delellis allegedly “swung his left hand and struck the victim on the right cheek leaving a red mark,” according to cops.

Finally this week – you know sometime we really need to do a special all guns edition of People Are Dumb because there’s a lot of idiots with guns out there. And one place you probably shouldn’t be packing heat? A Victoria’s Secret. I mean unless the thought of guns and hot women in skimpy lingerie turns you on, whatever floats your boat!

A local man is recovering from a self-inflicted gunshot wound he suffered inside a Saginaw Township lingerie store.

About 3 p.m. on Friday, Dec. 27, police responded to reports of a gunshot at the Victoria’s Secret store inside the Fashion Square Mall, according to Saginaw Township Police Chief Donald F. Pussehl Jr.

A 29-year-old man shopping at the store was putting his wallet back into his pocket when a handgun also in the pocket discharged, Pussehl said.

The man suffered a non-life-threatening wound to his leg. He was taken to a local hospital for treatment. No one else was injured.

The man had a concealed pistol license and the gun was registered to him, Pussehl said. The chief added a detective sergeant will review the matter on Monday morning to determine if it will be assigned to a detective for further investigation and review by the Saginaw County Prosecutor’s Office.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 18: The Dropouts
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Welcome back to our 2020 Voters’ Guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates! Hey we can’t say that we’re monitoring next year’s election because next year’s election is now this year’s election! Yes, we are moving stead fast into the 2020 election. Iowa is just four weeks away. Holy shit, when I started the Top 10, it was the 2016 election. Never did I think this thing would last a whole presidential term! Anyway, when we left off last year, we were telling you why you should be deeply concerned about the British election results. But the choices of candidates are getting narrower and narrower. This week we’re going to take a look at the two most recent dropouts of the campaign – current New York City mayor Bill DeBlasio and Texas Rep. Julian Castro. But really you were probably asking yourself “Wait – these guys were running?”. And really we don’t have a funny answer for that.

Julián Castro, the former housing secretary who was the only Latino candidate in the Democratic primary, said Thursday he would end his bid for the presidency, capping a yearlong campaign where he struggled in polls but remained a policy pacesetter on immigration and fighting poverty.

Throughout his campaign, Mr. Castro, 45, a native of San Antonio who spent five years as its mayor, portrayed himself as an unapologetic liberal who was shaped by his humble beginnings and had been overlooked by the press. Though he created some memorable moments as he championed progressive policy and challenged his rivals on the campaign trail, Mr. Castro did not catch on with voters and was unable to break into the upper tier of a crowded primary field. His exit is the latest departure of a candidate of color from a field that began as the most racially diverse ever in a Democratic primary.

“I’ve determined that it simply isn’t our time,” Mr. Castro said in a nearly four-minute video message released by his campaign, which included a montage from his year on the trail, including visits to the border and a homeless encampment in Oakland. “Today it’s with a heavy heart, and profound gratitude, that I will suspend my campaign for president.”

“I’ve determined that it simply isn’t our time,” Mr. Castro said in a nearly four-minute video message released by his campaign, which included a montage from his year on the trail, including visits to the border and a homeless encampment in Oakland. “Today it’s with a heavy heart, and profound gratitude, that I will suspend my campaign for president.”

Yeah that may be, it looks like it’s going to be another round of aging white men. Yes, I saw that Adam Sandler sketch from last year. But what is it going to take for us to break out of that mold? We elect one black guy to the presidency and half the damn country loses their minds! And for most of these people, that’s not really much of a stretch. But now that that has been said, what is Julian’s next step?

Former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julian Castro endorsed Sen. Elizabeth Warren for president on Monday, days after dropping out of the Democratic primary race.

“There’s one candidate I see who’s unafraid to fight like hell to make sure America’s promise will be there for everyone. Who will make sure that no matter where you live in America or where your family came from in the world, you will have a path for opportunity to,” Castro said in a video posted to Twitter.

“That’s why I’m proud to endorse Elizabeth Warren for president,” he said.

Castro left the race on Tuesday after lagging in the polls and failing to keep up with rivals’ fundraising efforts. He consistently polled below 2% in national surveys.

The progressive former Obama Cabinet secretary did roll out a slate of ambitious policy proposals, some that inspired other candidates to address topics that were otherwise unlikely to come up.

Woohoo, now we’re talking! Switching gears, we’re going to talk about the mayor of New York, Bill DeBlasio, and why his campaign failed. Was it because he sold out quickly? No. Was it because he was using NYPD officers to provide security? Probably. Or was it because New York City mayors have famously bailed on campaigns going all the way back to the 1920s? Ding ding ding!!!

Dozens of diesel-engine trucks belching exhaust travel 150 miles north of New York City, hauling tons of construction debris as they roll past clapboard houses toward a sprawling landfill that towers over this 3.3-square-mile city. On the other side of the dump on a chilly November morning, a few hundred yards from the stench of rotten eggs, children begin filing into the local school complex.

This scene is the consequence of New York City’s failure to contain its trash.

Two consecutive mayors of the city launched their presidential bids last year on a promise of combating climate change, yet neither was able to stem the tide of garbage flooding the nation’s largest metropolis. Bill de Blasio, the current mayor whose national campaign lasted four months, and Mike Bloomberg, his predecessor who began his White House bid in November, both fell short of ambitious recycling and waste reduction goals that other major American cities have realized.

And for nearly two decades, New York City has entirely outsourced its trash burden to other communities across the country.

Oh come on, at the very least we can round up all the city’s trash and hurl it into the sun. So I get all of my solutions from animated shows. Sue me. But let’s go back to that security thing, that is something that could be a problem for Bill down the road. Maybe that’s why he bailed? Because that could be a serious problem for both him and the NYPD down the road.

A probe is examining the cost to taxpayers of Mayor de Blasio’s use of an NYPD security detail during his failed presidential campaign, sources tell the Daily News.

The city Department of Investigation is gathering documentation of expenses run up by de Blasio’s taxpayer-funded NYPD Executive Protection Unit during his short-lived quest for the White House, including hotel stays, meals, gasoline and travel, as well as the salaries, per diems and overtime of cops who made trips to primary states like Iowa, Nevada and South Carolina, sources say.

The News spoke to three sources closely familiar with Executive Protection Unit operations. All agreed that the cost of the detail on the much-ridiculed five-month campaign likely exceeded $1 million. A City Hall official strongly disputed that calculation. A calculation by news outlet The City estimated the cost was more than $200,000.

The de Blasio campaign spent $1,374,236, none of which went to repay the city for security expenses, according to records filed with the Federal Election Commission.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re going to poll some of your favorite candidates and where they stand on a possible war with Iran. Controversy alert!!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Anti-Flag[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest of 2020 has a new album coming out on Jan. 17th called “2020 Vision”, you can see them on tour through May 30th including a stop at the Punk Rock Bowling festival in Vegas on May 30th. Playing their song “Hate Conquers All”, give it up for Anti-Flag!

Thank you Syracuse! This was fun! We are off to Amherst, MA and the University Of Massachusetts next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Houston Improv, Houston, TX
Special Thanks To: Improv Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 8, 2020, 06:02 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 8th Season

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 8th Season

Season 7: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212164633
Season 6: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211623942
Season 5: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210720590
Season 4: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210083764
Season 3: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210008235
Season 2: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029078791
Season 1: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1016169212

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is our handy guide to each episode and edition of the wacky things that the conservative and religious right are up to every week. Just like the previous seasons, this one will keep an updated look at each edition as they get posted and a brief summary of every entry, and all of our buffoonery and craziness. Plus all of your favorite segments are back like How Is This Still A Thing, This Fucking Guy, Top 10 Investigates, The Trumper Games, Beating A Dead Horse, and we will also be introducing some new segments this year! Also, since this is an even numbered season that means that it runs from January - May and that means that it's the return of our Stupidest State contest! Yes, the NFFSA is back for our fourth season and all your favorites will be there with some newcomers looking to vie for the much coveted DeLay Trophy! This year's contest looks to be even bigger and badder than the last 3 years, and it's an election year so expect that the mud will be flinging even further than normal! New year,, same idiocy! That said, here's our guide to all the editions that will be coming your way through our traditional Memorial Day break. Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

Edition #8-1: Living In A Mobster's Paradise Edition (1/8/20)

Live from Syracuse! As is tradition, whenever the Top 10 is off for an extended period of time, we like to play catch up on stuff we missed which includes the latest on the impeachment scandal and other conservative lunacy. And 2020 is already two days old and there's talk of World War III after the assassination of Iranian leader Qassem Soleimani prompts blood lust from the right and concern from the left. Trump's New Year's Eve bash at Mar-A-Lago had the usual cabal of criminals and mobsters, and Trump endorsed that guy he pardoned. We also have a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die" which takes a look at the latest on the Australian wildfires and some Christmas earthquakes in California. Yeah we're probably all gonna die. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at plastic bag bans in California and Mexico, and just how effective are they? Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor is going to take a look at the religious side of the insane prophecy known as Qanon - and yeah, he's got some thoughts on the subject. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - after the assassination of Soleimani, we're going to ask the question - "Is it too soon to heed calls that World War III has started?", to which we answer "NO! Read a damn history book and chill out, people!!". Plus we're going to take a look at the Trump's latest pardon - Navy Seal and *alleged* child murderer Edward Gallagher in a new installment of "This Fucking Guy". P Plus we have a special New Year's Eve edition of "People Are Dumb", because of course they are! And in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", we're taking a look at the latest dropouts from the campaign which includes Julian Castro and Bill DeBlasio. Wait, he was running?
Live Musical Guest: Anti-Flag

Edition #8-2: War, What Is It Good For? Edition (1/15/20)

Live From U-Mass Amherst! So just how close are we to World War III? Congress wants to limit Trump's war powers in the wake of the Suleimani death, while a terrifying plane crash in the Ukraine is terrifying investigators. Back at home, Nancy Pelosi is getting closer and closer to turning the impeachment case over to the Senate, but Mitch McConnell is refusing to play fairly, as par for the course with the GOP. Meanwhile, across the pond, everyone's worst fears are realized as the political and economic disaster known as Brexit is now a reality, and we can tell you what to expect when you travel overseas. Duncan Hunter's reign of terror is finally over as he leaves Congress, so what happens next? And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at psychopaths - is your boss one of them? Do you view Horrible Bosses as a comedy or a documentary? We will find out! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" - our resident pastor is going to take a look at "prayer warriors" - and he's on the red carpet for the "Movement 2020" conference - which aims to throw all laws of separation of church and state out the window! Be afraid. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - our FLOTUS, Melania Trump says that it's OK for her husband to bully Greta Thunberg because she's a "public figure" so is it open season? Hell no! And we take a look at the latest developments with the Royal Family in our segment "What's Up With The Royals?" as Megan and Harry plan their exit from Buckingham Palace and head for greener pastures. We also have a new People Are Dumb because of course they are! And in our 2020 voters' guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, we're going to take a look at fans of burgeoning candidate Andrew Yang - whose side are they on? Controversy alert!
Live Musical Guest: Foals

Edition #8-3: Viva Lev Parnas Edition (1/22/20)

Live from Georgetown! Did Rachel Maddow uncover the missing link between Donald Trump and Marie Yavanovitch in the Russian scandal? Well Lev Parnas could be the key to unraveling the Russia scandal and there may be a lot more players involved! Meanwhile, in Russia, as Trump's boss Vladimir Putin is on his own after Russia's PM Dimitry Medvedev and nearly the entire Russian government quits as Putin attempts to expand his power! In the Trump world, while the Democratic debate was going on, Trump went to Milwaukee to once again barf his brain and this time he spouted some crazy nonsense about kitchen appliances and light bulbs. The sports world has been rocked by the stunning accusations that the Houston Astros' manager Alex Cora cheated his way to back-to-back World Series wins and the scandal may be more horrible than the headlines would have you believe! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, a new lawsuit against sleep apnea provider ResMed uncovered some really aggressive marketing strategies, but the entire industry might be suspect! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor has been obsessed with Dave Daubenmire's podcast "Pass The Salt" and he will go through some of the more absolutely insane bits from the show! And in "Beating A Dead Horse", should celebrities be allowed to express political opinions? Everyone from Stephen King to Jon Voight to Vince Vaughn have been expressing theirs, and it's getting insane. And in another edition of "NO!", politicians are once again being asked by musicians not to use their songs for political purposes. This time, the band REM tells Trump that he can't use their song "Everybody Hurts". In our first "I Need A Drink" of 2020, robots were the big thing at this year's Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, and we will go through some of the best / worst of them! Finally in our 2020 voters' guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we're one week away from the Iowa Straw Poll and this will be the dealbreaker as to who goes to the DNC and who goes home, and we will have everything you can expect!
Live musical guest: Brittany Howard (of Alabama Shakes)

Edition #8-4: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Angry Edition (1/29/20)

Live from UF-Miami! The Senate republicans do their best imitation of the Delta House from Animal House as they stage a walkout during the first day of the impeachment trial. Meanwhile, in space, Trump's unveil of the logo design for the 6th branch of the US military known as Space Force is drawing some (not at all) shocking comparisons to Star Trek. Trump Elsewhere, the Doomsday Clock, which monitors how close we are to the apocalypse, has inched another 30 seconds closer to midnight, and we are now *LESS* than 2 minutes to midnight. Cue your favorite Iron Maiden song here. In a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die", a new supervirus that broke out in China is making its' way across Asia and towards the US, and you should absolutely be frightened by this! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to investigate the claim that Amazon's Jeff Bezos got hacked by the Saudis, but are the claims real? And are the Saudis our friends? Yes and no. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, our resident pastor flew to DC and attended the March For Life conference at Capitol One Arena, and he's got some thoughts on what he saw. And in a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse", the Houston Astros and Boston Red Sox got caught cheating with their pants down, but the LA City Council has opened up a can of worms that nobody asked for, or wanted. We also profile conservative champion Mike Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". And there's also a new I Need A Drink, where we get drunk and discuss the death of a beloved advertising mascot, Planters' Mr. Peanut, and yes, he died doing what he loved. And in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", what is Tulsi Gabbard's beef with Hillary Clinton? We will get to the bottom of whether or not she is a Russian stooge or not.
Live Musical Guest: Cold War Kids

Edition #8-5: They Came In Like A Wrecking Ball Edition (2/5/20)

Live from UCF in Tallahassee! In the latest developments in Trumpland, Trump is getting sued for defamation due to allegations that he allegedly raped a woman back in the 1990s, but Trumpers don't know all the details! Across the Pond, conservative Englanders are celebrating the completion of Brexit, and we have what you need to know before it sends the European economy into a tailspin! And thanks to climate change deniers, part of Trump's poorly built border fence in California collapses and - in a not at all ironic twist of fate - ends up in Mexico. In New Jersey, there's a huge pile of trash needing to be collected - and it's not coming from a hurricane, it's coming from Trump's latest MAGA rally! Plus he may or may not have stiffed previous rallies on security, hardly shocking. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we head to Green Bay, Wisconsin, where we dig up the truth behind what went down at a recent Christmas Eve pageant involving a former Packer, members of his church, and enough ammo to take out a small army. What happened? We will get to the bottom of this mystery! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Jerry Falwell Jr is scheming to go behind Virginia Gov Northam's back, and have portions of the state secede, and our resident pastor is going to tell you why his controversial VEXIT plan isn't going to work. In "Beating A Dead Horse", did trashy celebrity journalist outfit TMZ publish news of Kobe's death before the LAPD had a chance to tell his family? It's quite possible, and it's also quite possible that Harvey Levin is going to hell. And in a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die", we recap the latest insanity surrounding the newest super virus coming from China, the Corona Virus, and it's going to get real ugly real quick, and we're all gonna die. We also have a new People Are Dumb, and as is tradition when we visit Florida, we do a special all Florida edition of People Are Dumb! And in our 2020 Voters' Guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates, we will have the results of the Iowa caucuses - what you need to know in order to make your decision in the primaries!
Live Musical Guest: The Dirty Heads

Edition #8-6: Wheel Of Corruption: Dark Fate Edition (2/12/20)

Live from Vanderbilt University in Nashville! The impeachment vote in the Senate finally happened and Trump got acquitted, and he's unloading all of his bent up frustration at everyone that opposes him, and it's going to get very ugly. Speaking of which, the aftermath of the SOTU, which saw Parkland Survivor Fred Guttenberg get ejected and Nancy Pelosi ripping up Trump's speech, but that's not all that happened! Meanwhile, it was revealed that notoriously toxic right wing radio host Rush Limbaugh has advanced lung cancer, but should we feel sorry for someone who has spent the last 30 years discussing how much he hates our guts? We will weigh in on the subject! Meanwhile, in Washington DC, a white supremacist group called "Patriot Front" marched with their ARs drawn and their faces covered, and an Antifa group dances in Portland in protest of a planned KKK rally. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, the FBI completed its' annual evaluation of home grown terrorist threats, and the idea that you are more likely to be killed by a white guy with a gun than Al-Qaeda isn't that far off! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", Franklin Graham had plans to take a crusader tour of the UK, and got dropped from not one, but all seven venues! Our resident pastor gets to the bottom of why the UK lost interest in the Crusader himself and reminds us that we shouldn't take this stuff too seriously! And in "Beating A Dead Horse" - the US dairy industry is understandably pissed at "Joker" star Joaquin Phoenix over his completely insane Oscar acceptance speech. In a new edition of our segment "NO!", everyone's favorite right wing homophobic podcaster, Christian nationalist, and fake coach Dave Daubenmire has launched a lawsuit aimed at Pepsi and the NFL because he saw Jennifer Lopez in skimpy clothing and is suing for a completely insane amount of money. In a new edition of "I Need A Drink", we kick back, indulge in some cocktails, and discuss some truly bizarre new celebrity fragrances, where you can smell like everything from female body parts to used underwear. 2020 is a great time to be alive! Finally in our 2020 voters' guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we're going to discuss the aftermath of the Iowa SNAFU and tell you what you can expect as the primaries head to Nevada.
Live musical guest: The Lumineers

Edition #8-7: Bromancing The Stone Edition (2/19/20)

Live from University Of Michigan! Two years ago, we lost 17 brave souls in the massacre on Valentine's Day at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. We find out how things have changed since then, and well, some victories have been achieved but we still have a long way to go. In the latest in Trump world, the sentencing of hardcore conspiracy theorist Roger Stone takes a turn when Trump asks his fixer, USAG Bill Barr, to intervene in the sentencing and things start going to shit, as is par for the course. Meanwhile, an examination of Melania Trump's venerable "Be Best" campaign aimed at curbing student bullying has had literally the exact opposite effect. In a new segment of "We're All Gonna Die", the quarantined cruise ship off the coast of Japan has begun to let passengers out, but how safe are we from the latest virus of doom? Virus Of Doom, by the way, really awesome band. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, is your next flight putting you at risk? After a safety audit of Southwest Airlines finds some alarming atrocities, you might want to consider taking a road trip next time. Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", the Christian right is out to remake the judiciary whether we want them to or not, and our resident pastor will get to the bottom of what qualifies as an "activist judge". In the latest edition of "NO!", with February being Black History Month, there are plenty of ways to honor our civil rights activists, past and present, but putting them on a 5% casj back card certainly isn't one of them. Also with the return of the XFL, with low attendance and strange scoring rules, not to mention on field vomit and on air swearing, we ask the question "The XFL - How is this still a thing?". We also have a new People Are Dumb because stupid doesn't take a holiday and neither do we! Finally in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", now that Bernie is looking more like the front runner in the 2020 race to beat Trump, he commands an internet army called "The Bernie Bros" and we will introduce you to them!
Live Musical Guest: Iggy Pop

Edition #8-8: 4 Pardons & A Penance Edition (2/26/20)

Live from University Of Wisconsin! Now that Trump has been vindicated, he feels that he can abuse his pardon powers and let some of his criminal buddies off the hook, most troubling of which is former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich (BLAGO!!). Where is Jon Stewart when you need him? Meanwhile, ex communicated former Congressman Dana Rorhabacher reveals that Julian Assange might have been offered a pardon from Trump in exchange for some extreme election tampering. Elsewhere, Attorney General Bill Barr has been dropping hints that he may resign from the administration due to Trump's incessant tweeting and we may or may not bring back The Trumper Games depending on whether or not that happens. In Alt Right news, a Kent State student who became famous for bringing her AR-15 to her graduation ceremony went to Ohio University and the ensuing shit show that followed varies in insanity depending on who you talk to. And in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, why were passengers possibly infected by the Corona Virus allowed on a flight to Kona? And what happened after that? Our crack investigative team will get to the bottom of this mystery and the aftermath! Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is faith based tourism coming to an end? Our resident pastor takes a look at what is going on at Orlando's "Holy Land Experience" and other Christian based theme parks to see what is going on! We also have the return of our segment "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" - daytime talk show host Wendy Williams is under fire for an extremely tasteless joke about the murder of Drew Carey's ex-fiance, but should she be cancelled over it? Yeah probably. We also profile hard-right Trumper and creator of a faith-based prayer group called "POTUS Shield", Frank Ameida, in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" - and what the fuck are people bringing on planes? There's everything from tents to miniature ponies and we will have some drinks and tell you what's awaiting you on your next trip - whether it's service animals or crazy luggage! And in the very last and final "Keeping Up With The Candidates", we recap the latest Democratic Debate in Las Vegas, where Elizabeth Warren utterly destroyed Michael Bloomberg, and other madness!
Live Musical Guest: Sons Of Apollo

Edition #8-9: Life's A Beach, Then You Die Edition (3/4/20)

Live from Wichita State! President "All Is Well" attempts to comfort fears of the deadly Corona Virus by gutting the CDC, trashing the media, and dolling out tons of misinformation on the subject, from mostly far right sources, obviously. Meanwhile, in Washington, the Terminator-esque merger between the Alt Right and far right traditional conservatives is nearly complete at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference, with Infowars taking it to the streets, among other insanity. Trump also went to India as a guest of Hindi nationalist Prime Minister Narjendra Modi, and the resulting shit show that everyone expected happened. In Congress, Congress approved some historic legislation making lynching a federal hate crime, and there were four people who voted against it, not surprisingly Texas' Louis Gohmert was one of the abstaining votes. Shocking, I know! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, our crack investigative team is going to take a new look at some shocking claims about the presidential diet - just what does Trump eat on a daily basis and is it good for you? Easy answer: no. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", the US State Department is being petitioned to "Make The Family Great Again" and our resident pastor suspects that there might be an ulterior and much more sinister motive lurking underneath. In a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse", the conservative war on free speech goes to the courts and loses big time when Dennis Prager's controversial Prager U sues Google over getting banned from Youtube and loses big time. And in a new edition of "NO!", MLB spring training has started, and the hate for the cheating douchebag Houston Astros intensifies, and really the more you boo, the more foolish you look. Plus in a new "I Need A Drink", we are going to raise our glasses and bid farewell to resident Flat Earther "Mad" Mike Hughes, who passed away after his homemade rocket crashed in Barstow, California. Shocking, we know. Finally it's that time of the year when we kick off our annual Stupidest State contest! It's Selection Sunday and we have all of the states, stats, odds and info that you need to fill out your bracket!
Live musical guest: 311

**Top 10 takes a week off**

Edition #8-10: Sorry Folks, Humanity Is Closed Edition (3/18/20)

Hybrid Best Of / "Live" (from home) Edition The Coronavirus has literally canceled nearly all of humanity. But our show is still going on! So with that in mind we are going to split this edition into a hybrid Best Of / Live Edition to help ease the pain while you are self-isolating during the Coronavirus pandemic. From Idiots #6-1, we recap the time when Trump's bizarre Game Of Thrones obsession was the least of our worries. From Idiots #5-2, we recall the bizarre plan to split California into 3 states that turned out to be a Russian hit job! From Idiots #3-13, Rush Limbaugh mocks a hurricane and well, it doesn't go over well. From Idiots #4-5, we introduce you to a real life Illinois Nazi, Arthur Jones. Where are the Blues Brothers when you need them? From Idiots #5-6, we take a look at how your favorite breakfast cereals could have got contaminated with the Honey Smacks recall. From Idiots #5-21, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", asks the question "Is CNN Satanic?" (spoiler alert! Probably). From Idiots #7-22, our segment "Unpopular Opinions" asks why does the older generation lose their mind when the younger generation doesn't know their music? Well ask Billie Eilish and Van Halen! From Idiots #8-7, why is the XFL a thing? But sadly it is no longer a thing thanks to Coronavirus. Plus we also have a new edition of "People Are Dumb" because while the world might be ending, we can at least laugh at stupid people, right? And finally it's time for Stupidest State 2020! This week it's Round 1 Week 1 and we have a battle for Batshit Supremacy as #1 Virginia takes on #2 Kentucky, while in the Family Values Conference, last year's champion #1 Alabama takes on red hot conference favorite #2 Oklahoma! Winner takes all, loser goes home!
Musical Guest: Iggy Pop

Edition #8-11: Do The Fauci Facepalm Edition (Mini Edition) (3/25/20)

Live From Home (With No Audience) With the whole world shut down from the Great Quarantine, the Top 10 is running at half capacity live from our home base! With the world still reeling from the Virus, Florida is out partying and it took them more than a week to shut down the beaches. With that, we add Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Meanwhile, we're going to show you some of the ways the world has been turned upside down and what is going on in "The Upside Of Quarantining". In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to show you some of the ways that the Christian right has been dealing with this crisis. And it's time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 2! We're live in Austin, TX at the home of the Texas Longhorns, the Frank C. Irwin Events Center, for all the round 1 action! It's a battle for Fiscal Irresponsibility supremacy as #3 Tennessee takes on #4 Nebraska! Meanwhile, in the Gun Nut Conference, #3 New Mexico takes on #4 Missouri!
Live Musical Guest: None Unfortunately

Edition #8-12: Easter Sunday Bloody Easter Sunday Edition

Live From Home (with no audience) Trump passes the Coronavirus Stimulus bill - we go over what's in it and who voted against it. Plus with the entire world on lock down, we're going to to show you some of the various ways that people are coping with the concept of "social distancing". Plus why are Bernie Bros making a mad claim that Bernie single-handedly saved America from unemployment? We go over some stats and show you why that's not true. We add Mississippi governor Tate Reeves to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, why does California have a lack of qualified registered nurses? And what can be done about it? And then in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", why does the Unholy Dark One want packed churches by Easter? This thing isn't going away anytime soon. And in a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse", why does Twitter give repeated passes to right wing conspiracy theorist (and failed actor) James Woods? Come on guys, you know this won't end well. We also have a new segment that we're going to be debuting called "Conspiracy Corner"! And we're going to start with a batshit crazy theory coming from Q Anon fans about the drug Adrenochrome. And whew, they crazy. We also have an all Coronavirus edition of "People Are Dumb", because of course they are! And it's time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 3! We're live from New Orleans where Michigan goes for broke against Pennsylvania in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, while Florida brings their big guns to the dance against Oregon! The Elite 8 is shaping up!
Live Musical Guest: None, It's A Home Show

Edition #8-13: He Went To Jared Edition (4/8/20)

Live From Home (with no audience) The Trump led Supreme Court issued a major blow to voting rights by forcing people to vote in person in the middle of a pandemic, effectively throwing out thousands of votes in the process. Trump finally enlists someone to head up the pandemic response team, and it's - wait for it - Jared Kushner! And there aren't enough facepalms in the world for this. Meanwhile, in the US Navy, Captain Crozier, head of the USS Theodore Roosevelt, got fired after sounding the alarm on the virus spreading on his ship. Elsewhere, a group of senators and Congressman have been caught profiting from the pandemic, and we go through the list and decide that no punishment is too good for these crooks. Top 10 Investigates, why is the heartburn drug Zantac on a worldwide recall? We get to the bottom of this mystery. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", there's a far-right pastor in Pennsylvania who plans to hold a Woodstock like festival in an effort to stick it to stay at home orders, so our resident pastor explains why this is a really bad idea. And in "Beating A Dead Horse", after hardcore band Trapt goes full MAGA and invites tons of parody accounts, is it OK to sue your parody account? Probably. We also have a new edition of Conspiracy Corner - why are conspiracy theorists filming their local hospitals in an attempt to discredit COVID-19 panic? Well, easy answer - they're insane. And in "I Need A Drink", we need some drinks to explain why a string of stunningly stupid crimes has turned New Jersey into the Florida of the north. Plus it's time for Stupidest State Round 1 Week 4! It's a battle for the Batshit Conference as #3 Idaho takes on #4 South Carolina. Meanwhile, over in the Family Values Conference, #3 Ohio takes on #4 Indiana! The Elite 8 is shaping up, folks!
Live Musical Guest: None, it's a home show

Edition #8-14: Wheel Of Corruption: The Phantom Menace Edition (4/22/20)

Live From Home (with no audience) Trump leaves the power of reopening the economy to the states, but then tells them that he is the decider on this (where have we heard that before?) while governors like Gavin Newsom are proving to be the cooler heads in the room. Meanwhile, Trump has one of his worst weeks ever when he melts down on TV night after night, causing his approval ratings to drop and he puts into place a reopening team consisting of... no public health officials or doctors. Elsewhere, a series of insane protests against social distancing and other measures put into place because of the pandemic are propping up across the country with predictable results. The latest casualties from the economic fallout from the impact include upscale clothing retailer Neiman Marcus and Vince McMahon's XFL. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we explore the dangers of Trump's drug of choice, hydroxychloroquine, and the dangers of taking it without medical advice. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is COVID 19 the result of a rebellion against God? Our resident pastor explores this topic and the predictable results of the Christian right. In a new "Beating A Dead Horse", Fox News is very actively trying to kill us and they might actually succeed. Plus we profile quack TV doctor Mehmet Oz in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". We also have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And it's time for Stupidest State Round 2! This time it's the Gun Nut Championship as #2 Florida takes on #3 New Mexico in a showcase shootout!
Live Musical Guest: None, it's a home show

Edition #8-15: Just What Doctor Trump Ordered Edition (4/29/20) (#198)

Live From Home (With No Audience) Trump does something ridiculously stupid (shocker) and recommends that people inject bleach as a way to cure the virus, but then walks back his statements and says that he didn't do it. Or did he? We also delve into possible scenarios about how the economy can restart, but Georgia's example is going to backfire on them big time. Meanwhile, it's been learned that the guy who Trump appointed to lead the Coronavirus response team originally was a former breeder of the dog species known as Labradoodle. Yes, no public health experts or doctors necessary. Conservatives are also upping the ante on their game to fire Dr. Fauci after he proves to be the actual adult in the room. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at possible vaccines in development for the virus, of which there are over 100, but the most promising looks to be out of Oxford University. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", there's a holy war against social distancing brewing and we will tell you the religious right's latest plan to spread the virus and further disrupt your way of life. In a new "Beating A Dead Horse", can you get over a celebrity? K-Pop fans are taking their social media wars against every celebrity known to man to a new level and taking the culture wars international! Plus we add Georgia governor Brian Kemp to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. And in a new "I Need A Drink" - how was a rare and valuable Van Gogh painting swiped from a French art museum when the whole country is supposed to be on lockdown? This is one of the more bizarre mysteries out there. Finally it's time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 2! It's a Family Values faceoff as the reigning champions #1 Alabama take on heavily favored underdogs in #4 Indiana for a chance to advance to the Final Four!
Live Musical Guest: None, It's A Home Show

Edition #8-16: If This Country's Rocking, Don't Come Knocking Edition (#199!) (5/6/20)

Live From Home (with no audience) After Trump hints that Michigan must be liberated, a group of MAGA hat wearing gun nuts storm the Michigan capital attempting to get liberated, and it backfires on them. With fears of a second wave imminent, Trump prematurely declares the pandemic over and we examine just what could possibly go wrong if the country reopens - a second wave of this is practically imminent. Meanwhile, the Pentagon finally confirms something that we've all expected since space exploration began - aliens exist! Please someone better call Tom DeLonge! Plus as Joe Biden inches closer to the democratic nomination, a sexual harassment claim has been filed against him, but is there any traction on this or are they trying to Al Franken him? In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, there's many differing theories into the origins of coronavirus, but what's the real story? Is it natural or man made? We will find out! And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor embraces his Jewish side as he examines what's been going on with NYC's Jewish community and well, it's not great. Plus in the latest edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" - really what's the deal with the Land O' Lakes label controversy? If you think removing the iconic character from the label is bad, wait until you hear the real history of Native Americans! After Jesse Ventura announces a bid to run for president, we ask "The Green Party - How Is This Still A Thing?". We also have a new "I Need A Drink" - Universal Studios recently showed that it can bypass traditional movie theaters after Trolls: World Tour made some serious money during quarantine. But theaters aren't having any of it! And finally it's time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 3! It's the Batshit Conference finals as #1 Virginia takes on #3 Idaho for a spot in the Final Four! We're live from Austin with all the 3rd round action!
Musical guest: None, it's a home show

Edition #8-17: Drop It Like Your Blood Clots Edition (#200!) (5/13/20)

Live From Home (With No Audience) We celebrate our 200th edition! COVID comes to the White House, and if you think Trump is dealing with this unwanted guest, well, as the old saying goes, "He who denied it, supplied it.". Trump also manages to escapee the confines of the White House for a tour of a Honeywell plant in Phoenix, and it was quite the shit show. Everyone's favorite joke of a smear artist, Jacob Wohl, is back, and his latest scam to pay someone to setup a sexual harassment suit, well, backfired on him big time. In a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die", if you think COVID is bad, wait until you see the giant insects that Asia is sending our way! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, the state of Mississippi is in big trouble after an audit revealed that state officials wasted millions on some very high end and unnecessary items! Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", are the lockdowns waging war on your religious freedoms? Christians are upping the rhetoric and our resident pastor is here to tell them that they're wrong! In a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse", are the sexual harassment claims against Joe Biden legit or horseshit? We will find out! We also have a new edition of "Conspiracy Corner" - was Trump justified in his firing of disgraced FBI head honcho James Comey? The Q Anon "experts" are on the trail! We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And finally it's time for Stupidest State Round 2 Week 4! It's the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! This time conference favorite #1 Michigan takes on underdog #4 Nebraska!
Musical Guest: The New Rolling Stones song "Living In A Ghost Town"

Edition #8-18: Sometimes You Don't Wanna Go Where Everyone Knows Your Name Edition (5/20/20)

Live From Home (With No Audience) After being banned from the Trump administration for doing that thing called "speaking the truth", Dr. Rick Bright informs the world that we were under prepared for COVID, and will be under prepared for when the cures and vaccines come. In Wisconsin, the GOP and the voting public have clearly shown that they don't give a shit about public health and have reopened the state anyways in spite of government orders, because, America. In the latest coming from Trump's batshit fantasy world, he's peddling a new conspiracy theory about Obama that doesn't exist because, well, he's certifiably deranged. Meanwhile, in California, Elon Musk has reopened the Tesla manufacturing plant in Fremont and has shown that he doesn't give a crap about his employees. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, China's got a bamboo shortage that is affecting the world wide panda population, thanks to COVID, so what can be done about it? We will get to the bottom of this. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our favorite crackpot, Mark Taylor, is back in the news and well, he failed at being the prophet that everyone thinks he is. Our resident pastor is here to laugh about it. After listening to the restaurant lobby and not public health experts about reopening Wisconsin, we add Wisconsin governor Tony Evers to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. We also have a new edition of "Conspiracy Corner" and while the talk of a COVID vaccine is ramping up, the disinformation machine is already kicking into high gear! And in "I Need A Drink", do we really need a spinoff of Entourage's hot-headed, anger-challenged Hollywood super agent Ari Gold? Especially given Jeremy Piven's past history? I think I need a few drinks to dissect this possible series that no one needs. Finally it's time for the Stupidest State Final Four! Idaho. Michigan. Florida. Alabama. Two of these teams advance, one wins! It's going to be an epic showdown for the ages!
Musical Guest: New AWOLNATION song "Pacific Coast Highway (In The Movies)"

Edition #8-19: What To Expect When You're Expecting Worse Edition (5/27/20)

Live From Home (With No Audience) Season Finale! In a change of pace, we take a look inside the race to develop a Coronavirus vaccine - what's it going to take to get billions of doses distributed throughout the world? Plus with states easing social distancing rules, are we headed toward the dreaded second wave or are things actually getting better in the long run? Plus we look at the latest in the anti-lockdown protests, which are getting weirder, scarier, and nuttier, and in some cases are actually becoming self-aware. And in the latest edition of "Trump Barfs His Brain", Trump keeps spewing nonsense and is getting advised against his reckless self-medicating with hydroxychloroquine. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the massive effort to discredit the coronavirus vaccine - even before it's fully developed or released! Anti-vaxxers be damned! In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", are our nation's holy institutions doing the right thing or the wrong thing when it comes to reopening? Our pastor will take a look at several different cases of all faiths! In a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse", could the Senate get its' first dose of the QAnon cult? We take a look at a campaign out of Oregon that aims to merge fantasy internet conspiracies with real life. And in a new edition of "Conspiracy Corner", why are people destroying 5G cell phone towers before they're installed? It may have something to do with Coronavirus, or it may not. We also have a new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and discuss the latest in the College Admissions Scandal! I don't want your life!! Finally it's time for the Stupidest State Championship! Florida. Michigan. One of these two states will be crowned our Stupidest State! We're at the Banc Of California Stadium in Los Angeles with the champagne on ice!
Musical Guest: An excerpted live performance from King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard's live album "Chunky Shrapnel"

Best Of #12: Season 8 Recap: Shit Really Hits The Fan Edition

Best Of! From Idiots #8-2, Trump brings us to the brink of a possible World War III after a series of diplomatic blunders really cost him some big time points with the UN. From Idiots #8-4, we take on Trump's challenge of whether or not people actually read the impeachment transcript - turns out he didn't either! From Idiots #8-6, after everyone's favorite conservative blowhard Rush Limbaugh announces he has possibly terminal lung cancer, we ponder, should we feel sorry for someone who's spent their entire career telling us to pound sand? Probably. From Idiots #8-9, Trump took a trip to India to party with Modi in a giant stadium full of people who really didn't seem that interested in what either of them had to say. We also have a brand new bonus segment, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at the Coronavirus disinformation campaign, and there's a lot of it out there, so watch your backs when looking at this information. From Idiots #8-3, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", takes a look at the feud over the future of the Catholic Church and differing viewpoints from former Pope Benedict and current Pope Francis. From Idiots #8-15, "Beating A Dead Horse", takes a look at how fans of Korean pop are turning the tables on your favorite celebrities by weaponizing social media against them. We also have another new segment, our segment Conspiracy Corner, takes a look at the injustice protests and that if you see some guys wearing Hawaiian shirts carrying large machine guns, they're not there to join hands and sing Kumbaya. From Idiots #8-5, we have a special all Florida edition of "People Are Dumb" which includes some of the craziest Florida Man stories around! And finally from Idiots #8-4, our segment "Keeping Up With The Candidates" , both Joe Rogan and Bernie Sanders command two of the largest troll armies on the internet, so why are they fighting and not joining forces? That should have happened!
Musical Guest: Sons Of Apollo
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Thu Jan 2, 2020, 01:47 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-23: 2019 Year In Review Edition (Season Finale!!!)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-23: 2019 Year In Review Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up UCLA? Has Trump been impeached yet? Well we're waiting! How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Well here we are, we are at the end everybody! It’s been a hell of a season touring universities all over the country. And we’re going back for round 2 next year leading up to our 3rd annual Stupidest State contest! Do we have time for the thing? OK so back when we started the Top 10, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens was just about to hit the theaters, and the hype-o-meter was off the charts. Well, this week, the conclusion of that arc of the saga, Star Wars Episode XI: The Rise Of Skywalker, is about to hit theaters. And Burger King, has come up with one of the most bizarre promotions I’ve ever heard of. Would you allow the movie to be spoiled for you for a free sandwich? I mean better yet how much is a spoiler worth to you? Because if I’m letting one of the most anticipated movies of the year be spoiled for me, it’d better be a hell of a lot more than just a damn sandwich! In fact, actual Star Wars fans weren’t having any of it. So apparently people love their science fiction franchises way more than they love their fast food franchises. Go home Burger King, you’re drunk. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first I have to play Saturday Night Live’s brilliant opener from last week about what happens when things get way too heated at the holiday dinner table:

Happy end of 2019 everybody!!! We survived a 3rd year under president Donald J. Trump! So with that in mind we are doing our 3rd ever Year In Review edition! In the first slot this week is the first two months of the year – January and February (1) when Trump and the entire world was obsessed with the ending of the hit HBO show Game Of Thrones, and Trump thought he was the one who was going to ascend to the Iron Throne because, reasons. In the second slot is the second two months of the year – March and April (2) where there were scandals a plenty which included Patriots owner Robert Kraft getting arrested in a sex sting operation and Paul Manafort being convicted of some pretty serious crimes. Taking the third slot this week is a head first dive into summer with May & June (3) which saw conservatives taking their war on “shadow banning” to new extremes by grilling the head honchos of social media companies on Capitol Hill about anti-conservative bias. In the fourth slot is the meat of summer – July and August (4) – which saw the case against billionaire child molester and human sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstiein come to a head, and the degree of which he was murdered / suicided varies on which media outlet your drug of choice is. In the fifth slot this week is fall – September and October (5) which includes such idiocy as Trump’s Halloween fail, his war on vaping, a whole metric fuck ton of mass shootings, and the Straight Pride Parade in Boston was a colossal fail. Rounding out the year is the winter months – November and December (6) of course, while everyone is figuring out which car commercial is the least annoying, Trump is getting impeached, and the impeachment trial is proving to be the colossal disaster that we all know it was going to be. Now that that’s out of the way, since we like to get you in the holiday spirit, in the number 7 slot, everyone looks forward to Santa’s visit every year, except New York City, which is the home of Santacon (7), and we’re going to ask “SantaCon: How Is This Still A Thing?”. In the number 8 slot this week is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” and sigh, another round of the circular firing squad that is the militant religious group known as “One Million Moms” and the back and forth between them and the Hallmark Channel is the stuff of pure insanity, and our resident pastor has some thoughts on that! At the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is People Are Dumb, and we’re going to go through and post some of our favorite People Are Dumb stories throughout the year that was 2019. Finally this week, our 2020 voters’ guide, Keeping Up With The Candidates is going to talk 2020 predictions! Yeah it’s earl but you can never be too early! And the palate cleanser for putting up with my bullshit, we have a surprise guest. Oh who am I kidding? It’s the legendary Vampire Weekend! Really buy their new album “Father Of The Bride” or you are no friend of this program. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]January – February: Game Of Groans
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This is always one of the hardest Top 10s of the year to do because the question is how do you cram an entire year’s worth of idiocy into six short entries? Where do you start? Well we have to start at the beginning of the year of course. The Dems have just come off the high of retaking the house out from underneath this corrupt administration. And of course, Dear Leader wasn’t having any of it. For someone who doesn’t quite get pop culture references, for him to see himself as the champion of some bizarre Game Of Thrones contest that no one else was playing was simply stunning.

When President Trump tweeted out a meme of his envisioned steel-slat wall with the words, “THE WALL IS COMING” over the weekend, many fans of “Game of Thrones” accused the president of never actually watching the hit HBO series.

In the series, the enormous wall of ice protecting the Seven Kingdoms from encroaching wildlings is — spoiler alert — eventually destroyed, which is presumably not the end result Trump envisions along the southern border. But Trump’s allusion to the “Game of Thrones” wall is all the more curious for another reason.

The fictional “Game of Thrones” barrier is actually based on a real wall. In fact, it’s one of the most famous walls in ancient Western civilization — one that may hold a lesson for Trump. A massive wall, said historian David Frye, is nothing without an equally massive investment in upkeep and patrol. That fact is evident in the true story of Hadrian’s Wall, the inspiration behind the fictional frozen wall in “Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin, the author of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” that inspired “Game of Thrones,” has previously revealed that he was standing atop Hadrian’s Wall in 1981, imagining himself as a second-century Roman soldier, when he had the idea for his wall.

I think that’s how Trump actually envisions himself. For someone who doesn’t read and doesn’t get pop culture references (he recently failed by comparing himself to Thanos), Game Of Thrones is way too advanced for him! He should start with something easy like the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series and work his way up! And then the government shut down happened in January and the entire world saw how he greets champion athletes visiting the White House. Remember when that was an honor? Well, he reduced the White House dinner to going to the drive through, because that’s what Trump does. And that’s what he did when the world champion Clemson Tigers visited the White House. Literally everything he touches turns to shit!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.


Seriously forget House Of Cards, this is a House Of Carbs! Then we go to February where it’s Valentines Day and we’re coming off the 1 year anniversary of the Parkland Massacre. But that was completely overshadowed because we were introduced to Nicholas Sandmann and the ultra right wing Covington Catholic high school in Covington, Kentucky. Who were just coming off the March For Women wearing MAGA hats (natch) and then stared down Native American war veterans at the Indigenous People’s March, and the resulting shit show was quite spectacular.

A crowd of students surrounds the Native American man, laughing and filming on cell phones. One boy, wearing a red Make America Great Again hat, stands just inches away from the man's drum, staring at him with a wide smile.

Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder participating in the Indigenous Peoples March, keeps drumming and singing.

The jeers of the students – and Phillips' stoic response – were captured in a video that has sparked widespread criticism and drawn an apology from a Kentucky prep school and diocese.

The students and Phillips had both converged in Washington, D.C., last Friday. The students, a group of boys from Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky, were there to attend the March for Life. Phillips had come for the first-ever Indigenous Peoples March, on the same day.

Videos show a number of young men and women, predominantly white, jumping, cheering and chanting, in a dense circle around Phillips. Many are wearing Trump paraphernalia, and some are wearing clothing associated with the Covington high school.

Yes, that escalated very quickly. And of course since Trump attracts the assholes, he invited Sandmann and his crew to the White House, and then Sandmann attempted to sue the Washington Post and New York Times for an ungodly sum of money, and that suit will most likely never pass muster. Then one of our favorite controversies, the Blackface controversy, ensued once again in Virginia when some old pictures recently started surfacing of Gov. Ralph Northram.

Controversy swirled over the weekend after a racist photo in Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's medical school yearbook surfaced.

The photo, which pictured a person in blackface and a person dressed in a Ku Klux Klan robe, was featured on Northam's page in a 1984 yearbook. Northam, a Democrat, initially apologized for being in the photo, then later said he did not believe he was pictured.

Despite calls for his resignation from several members of his own party, the Democrat is standing his ground and has refused to leave office.

Here's a breakdown of how we got here:

The photograph was first discovered Friday afternoon by the conservative news outlet Big League Politics. It was one of several published on Northam's medical school yearbook page from Eastern Virginia Medical School from 1984, the year he graduated. The school confirmed the photo's authenticity and provided a copy of the page to USA TODAY.

That’s it for January and February, which brings us to…

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[font size="8"]March – April: Scandals And Animals
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Remember the Q Anon conspiracy theory? You know the one where it said that Trump was going to have “mass arrests” and “military tribunals” aimed at taking down the country’s elite for acts of sexual perversion? Well, the spring season started off with the owner of the Patriots, Robert Kraft, along with a metric fuck ton of celebrities and professionals getting busted for having connections to the alleged Miami Madam that has been a staple of the country’s elite. Well it turns out the table might be on the other foot, as Kraft got taken down with a whole bunch of other celebrities and billionaires, which may or may not include billionaire who lives on a secluded pedo island, Jeffrey Epstein. Well, let the conspiracy theories start flying!

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft is facing charges of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was twice videotaped paying for a sex act at an illicit massage parlor, police in Florida said Friday.

The 77-year-old Kraft was one of 25 people involved in the alleged solicitation at the Orchids of Asia Day Spa in Jupiter, Florida.

Michael Edmondson, spokesman for the state attorney's office in Palm Beach County, told ESPN that the nature of any charges that the 25 people face will not be released until next week.

The potential charges come amid a widespread crackdown on sex trafficking in Florida from Palm Beach to Orlando. Hundreds of arrest warrants have been issued in recent days as result of a six-month investigation, and more are expected. Ten spas have been closed, and several people charged with sex trafficking have been taken into custody.

Uh… except that there is everything wrong with that! And speaking of controversies coming back to bite us, Michael Jackson, outside of his singing career, has never been in the news for any particularly good reason, and even 10 years after his death, stories continue to linger over what really happened at Michael Jackson's Hollywood home known as "Neverland Ranch". Especially when the documentary “Leaving Neverland” shed some light on what really happened when kids were invited to stay over at Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch:

As the release of a new documentary detailing abuse accusations against the singer Michael Jackson has prompted debate about his legacy, the public response to its contents is also leading radio stations across the globe to stop playing his music.

A radio network in Quebec pulled Jackson’s music from its nearly two dozen stations, according to The Canadian Press. In Britain, Variety reported that the BBC was forced to deny imposing such a ban after it was reported that the singer’s music had been “quietly dropped” from one of its stations.

And the backlash has led to an almost complete removal of the singer’s music from the airwaves in New Zealand, after the two largest radio networks — which own most of the country’s commercial stations — said Wednesday that they would no longer play Jackson’s songs.

In the New Zealand and Canadian cases, radio networks cited a change in public opinion about Jackson that was tied to the documentary “Leaving Neverland,” a two-part mini-series focusing on the accusations of two men who say Jackson abused them as children, as the reason for the ban. The program is scheduled for broadcast in New Zealand on Sunday and Monday.

The sad thing is that death was probably a good career move for Mr. Jackson. Then, as if the arrest of Robert Kraft wasn’t troubling enough, Trump’s senior campaign manager Paul Manafort went down in a shocking blaze of 16 crimes being committed. You commit 16 crimes, whaddya get? Another day in prison and deeper in debt. Yeah that joke didn’t work the first time, but the subpoenas are still there!

Paul J. Manafort, President Trump’s former campaign chairman, has been charged in New York with mortgage fraud and more than a dozen other state felonies, the Manhattan district attorney, Cyrus R. Vance, Jr., said Wednesday, an effort to ensure he will still face prison time if Mr. Trump pardons him for his federal crimes.

News of the indictment came shortly after Mr. Manafort was sentenced to his second federal prison term in two weeks; he now faces a combined sentence of more than seven years for tax and bank fraud and conspiracy in two related cases brought by the special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III.

The president has broad power to issue pardons for federal crimes, but has no such authority in state cases.

While Mr. Trump has not said he intends to pardon his former campaign chairman, he has often spoken of his power to pardon and has defended Mr. Manafort on a number of occasions, calling him a “brave man.”

Later on Wednesday, the president said, “I feel very badly for Paul Manafort,” and that he had “not thought about” a pardon for him.

The new state charges against Mr. Manafort are contained in a 16-count indictment that alleges a yearlong scheme in which he falsified business records to obtain millions of dollars in loans, Mr. Vance said in a news release after the federal sentencing.

Now this brings us to April where Trump was coming off the high of the Mueller Report being completely redacted and lots of blacked out tape polluting what was actually said in the report, so we may never know what really happened. And how do you celebrate if you’re Donald J. Trump? Well, you celebrate by going to Scotland where you make some shockingly stupid statements about wind power.

Unlike President Trump’s inability to pronounce the word “origins,” his recurring anti-wind bloviating isn’t a sign of mental decline. Sure, it is stupid and wrong to say the sound of wind causes cancer (just who is the “alarmist” by the way?) or reduces real estate values (it doesn’t.) But it’s also dangerous. This and other anti-science campaigns like the ones against vaccinations and evolution are not just silly ignorance. They’re weaponized stupidity.

Trump’s tirades aren’t reflective of any deeply held belief or well-informed opinion, but instead appear to be informed by, and in service of, Big Oil’s anti-wind propaganda. For decades fossil fuel companies have attacked clean and renewable competition, from working to block local wind power installations to fighting state policies promoting wind. Key to that effort is spreading myths about wind power’s potential as well as its progress, which our Fox News President predictably regurgitates.

For example, take Trump’s bizarre recurring joke were he pretends to be someone who watches a lot of television (ok—no need to suspend disbelief on that part,) but has to turn it off when the wind isn’t blowing. Trump’s own Department of Energy debunks that ridiculous reliability argument (hi, batteries!) along with other energy myths. Wind power kills less birds than other forms of energy, it poses no human health threat, and it is increasingly more competitive than fossil fuels.

The sad irony of Trump’s weaponized stupidity is that it hurts the rural communities and red states who are benefiting “bigly” from wind power. For example, on November 9, 2016, the very day Trump was elected President, the Omaha World-Herald published a story about how “wind has saved family farms across a wide swath of the heartland.”

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Come on, put a warning on that thing! If that’s what passes for your hair, no wonder you make those claims about wind power. But at the end of April something really sad happened when we nearly lost the ancient French landmark of the Notre Dame cathedral. But Trump was celebrating Easter in the most Donald J. Trump way possible. Let’s roll the tape on that:


At that point you almost have to feel sorry for the Easter Bunny, though we probably all know that it was Rudy Giuliani underneath that weird rabbit mask. That’s it for March and April, and the winter and spring season. Now we dive head first into the summer season with…

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[font size="8"]May & June: Conservatives’ War On Social Media
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You know Mark Zuckerberg is a James Bond villain. In fact the scenario that’s playing around the globe right now with the rise in hate and white supremacy and people preferring dictators over freedom, is pretty much the plot of the movie Tomorrow Never Dies. In that movie, Elliot Carver is a media tycoon who is using a nuclear stealth boat to manipulate the headlines to pit two superpowers together with the intent of starting World War III. Sounds plausible right? Well Mark Zuckerberg is nowhere near as charismatic as Elliot Carver was. So thanks to conspiracy theories, conservatives really have it in for social media outlets over “shadow banning” which as we’ve explained many times on this program, is not a thing. Instead… they’re just being hateful dicks. And they still can’t see it even after grilling the head honcho himself. At this point, you almost have to feel sorry for Mark Zuckerberg… but eh, why waste the time and effort?

Facebook banned several prominent accounts promoting white nationalism on the platform on Thursday.

Accounts barred from Facebook, as well as its subsidiary Instagram, as part of the new enforcement include the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, the far-right troll Milo Yiannopoulos and the anti-Muslim figurehead Laura Loomer. Jones was previously banned from Facebook but still had an account on Instagram, which was no longer live as of Thursday.

“We’ve always banned individuals or organizations that promote or engage in violence and hate, regardless of ideology,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “The process for evaluating potential violators is extensive and it is what led us to our decision to remove these accounts today.”

Facebook banned several prominent accounts promoting white nationalism on the platform on Thursday.

Accounts barred from Facebook, as well as its subsidiary Instagram, as part of the new enforcement include the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, the far-right troll Milo Yiannopoulos and the anti-Muslim figurehead Laura Loomer. Jones was previously banned from Facebook but still had an account on Instagram, which was no longer live as of Thursday.

“We’ve always banned individuals or organizations that promote or engage in violence and hate, regardless of ideology,” a Facebook spokesperson said. “The process for evaluating potential violators is extensive and it is what led us to our decision to remove these accounts today.”

I’m pretty sure that’s a live look in at what Trump is really thinking. I mean two of his biggest minions got banned from nearly all social media platforms, because, well, they’re colossal dicks. But then one of the biggest bombshells of the administration to date – Trump’s ass is flat broke! Yet, he acts like a billionaire, just like George Bluth acts like a billionaire.

U.S. President Donald Trump’s businesses lost a total of more than $1 billion from 1985 to 1994, according to the New York Times, which said it obtained printouts from Trump’s official Internal Revenue Service tax transcripts.

The newspaper said Trump posted losses in excess of $250 million in both 1990 and 1991, which appeared to be more than double any other individual U.S. taxpayer in an annual IRS sampling of high-income earners.

Trump lost so much money that he was able to avoid paying income taxes for eight of the 10 years, the Times said.

Over the 10 years, Trump’s core businesses, including casinos, hotels and apartment buildings, lost $1.17 billion, according to the newspaper.

The Times quoted a lawyer for the president, Charles Harder, as saying the tax information was “highly inaccurate.”

Trump, a real estate magnate who turned over the running of his businesses to his sons after his election in 2016, touted his business acumen and negotiating skills on the campaign trail

Yes, I don’t care either. And then this might be one of my favorite stories of the year, and we did an entire Top 10 Investigates on it (see: Top 10 #6-18 ). Why are anti vaccination crusaders hanging on to an old episode of the Brady Bunch to describe their feelings toward measles? Oh measles are harmless – it’s just a day off school! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… fuck you!

“If you have to get sick,” Marcia Brady bellows. “Sure can’t beat the measles!” Marcia delivered the line in an episode of The Brady Bunch that aired in 1969. Fifty years later, it's echoing through Facebook antivaxxer communities.

If you ignore the sitcom context, it does sound like a peppy mid-century advertising slogan for the disease, the sort of thing a feverish Don Draper might have come up with after his eighth Old Fashioned. So, naturally, that’s how antivaxxers are taking it.

Marcia’s pro-measles platform has been a staple of the antivax community for a while now—it’s a popular meme, which means that it’s also T-shirt. Screengrabs of blonde-pigtailed Marcia grinning at the thought of measles are so common in anti-vaccine forums that Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia, got on NPR and asked to be excluded from this narrative. She’s quaintly scandalized that strangers would use her face for their own ends without her permission, without asking her whether she believes in vaccines or not. The antivaxxers do not care.

To them, whether or not Maureen McCormick vaccinated her children, which she did, is irrelevant, as is McCormicks’ discomfort with becoming the face of measles. (“Boo hoo,” read several Facebook comments.) So is the fact that the creator of The Brady Bunch, Sherwood Schwartz, was also a known child vaccinator. Everyone involved can wave their vaccination records all they want and it won’t deter anybody from buying a T-shirt that informs the world that the titular family of a sitcom failed to die of measles on daytime television. This meme is not about Marcia or any of the Brady bunch: It’s about having a slice of 1969.

Well if you gave someone the measles, they probably wouldn’t be your friends either! Well then June comes and republicans go all out on their feelings about abortion, and as you can guess, is one of the driving factors fueling this wretched administration. People like Pat Robertson have some incredibly warped feeling s on the subject.

Televangelist Pat Robertson said he thinks Alabama went "too far" with a controversial abortion bill that could punish doctors who perform abortions with life in prison.

"I think Alabama has gone too far," he said Wednesday during an episode of "The 700 Club." "There's no exception for rape or incest. It's an extreme law and they want to challenge Roe v. Wade."

He continued: "But my humble view is that this is not the case we want to bring to the Supreme Court because I think this one will lose."

The bill, which was signed into law by Gov. Kay Ivey on Wednesday, only allows exceptions "to avoid a serious health risk to the unborn child's mother," for ectopic pregnancy and if the "unborn child has a lethal anomaly."

The law carries stiff penalties for those caught violating it. For example, doctors could face up to 99 years in prison for performing an abortion in the state.

Hey I’m intolerant of your intolerance, sir! Good day! But my favorite thing about the summer was the utter implosion of the lobby fueling conservatives known as the National Rifle Association. Yes, after years and years of mass shootings, NRATV finally closed up shop, and may are citing that Parkland may have been the straw that broke the camels’ back. So I say this with all sincerity – a hearty “womp womp”.

The National Rifle Association shut down production of its online streaming network NRATV amid a shakeup within the gun lobbyist group.

NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre announced the decision to no longer air "live TV" programming through NRATV on the group's website on Wednesday, adding that the decision to return to live programming is a "subject of ongoing analysis."

"Many members expressed concern about the messaging on NRATV becoming too far removed from our core mission: defending the Second Amendment," LaPierre wrote. "So, after careful consideration, I am announcing that starting today we are undergoing a significant change in our communications strategy."

The decision comes after two prominent board members criticized the online media branch's direction in March, The New York Times reported.

That’s it for May and June, now we trod head first into the meat of summer with…

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[font size="8"]July – August: Epstein Gets Suicided
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Summertime, and the livin’s easy. Top 10 is on the microphone to Ras MG. All the people in the dance will agree that we’re well qualified to represent the LBC. G. Me and Louis, we go run to the party, dance to the rhythm, it gets harder… OK I’m no Brad Nowell but that was my Sublime chunk. We are well into the summer and halfway through the year now. Don’t worry, we will get into the Epstein tragedy in a few minutes. But first I want to talk about how Trump don’t know much about anything – biology, history, you name it. Especially history. I don’t want to say that Trump most likely slept through history class, and probably biology class as well. At least that was the case during his July 4th Americagasm Spectacular held at the National Mall

President Donald Trump celebrated "the greatest political journey in human history" Thursday in a Fourth of July commemoration before a soggy, cheering crowd of spectators, many of them invited, on the grounds of the Lincoln Memorial. Supporters welcomed his tribute to the U.S. military while protesters assailed him for putting himself center stage on a holiday devoted to unity.

Trump called on Americans to "stay true to our cause" in a "Salute to America" program that adhered to patriotic themes and hailed an eclectic mix of history's heroes, from the armed forces, space, civil rights and other endeavors of American life.

While the president avoided diversions into his agenda or re-election campaign, his speech, however, contained historical errors. In outlining the history of Independence Day, Trump claimed the Army "took over the airports" during the American Revolution and evoked the battle of Fort McHenry, which occurred decades later during the War of 1812. There was no air travel in America in the 18th century.

"In June of 1775, the Continental Congress created a unified Army out of the Revolutionary Forces encamped around Boston and New York," Trump said. "... Our Army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rocket’s red glare it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their star-spangled banner waved defiant."

Oh it absolutely was a disaster. But before we get into Jeffrey Epstein, we got to talk about another conservative related tragedy – the Seth Rich conspiracy theory. We found out that the conspiracy peddled by everyone from Alex Jones to Sean Hannity to Rush Limbaugh – that said that DNC staffer Seth Rich was gunned down to cover up evidence of election rigging and profiteering, and it was an intentional hit job – was revealed to be a steaming load of BS. And when Fox News tells you it’s bullshit, it’s bullshit.

In the summer of 2016, Russian intelligence agents secretly planted a fake report claiming that Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich was gunned down by a squad of assassins working for Hillary Clinton, giving rise to a notorious conspiracy theory that captivated conservative activists and was later promoted from inside President Trump’s White House, a Yahoo News investigation has found.

Russia’s foreign intelligence service, known as the SVR, first circulated a phony “bulletin” — disguised to read as a real intelligence report —about the alleged murder of the former DNC staffer on July 13, 2016, according to the U.S. federal prosecutor who was in charge of the Rich case. That was just three days after Rich, 27, was killed in what police believed was a botched robbery while walking home to his group house in the Bloomingdale neighborhood of Washington, D.C., about 30 blocks north of the Capitol.

The purported details in the SVR account seemed improbable on their face: that Rich, a data director in the DNC’s voter protection division, was on his way to alert the FBI to corrupt dealings by Clinton when he was slain in the early hours of a Sunday morning by the former secretary of state’s hit squad.

Yet in a graphic example of how fake news infects the internet, those precise details popped up the same day on an obscure website, whatdoesitmean.com, that is a frequent vehicle for Russian propaganda. The website’s article, which attributed its claims to “Russian intelligence,” was the first known instance of Rich’s murder being publicly linked to a political conspiracy.

Damn right, sir!!! Now that we’ve stalled enough, we got to get through the Jeffrey Epstein mess, which is what happened when he got locked up. The mess was so huge that it caused yet another huge resignation in the Trump camp – Alex Acosta. Which probably marks that as the 1,242,563,659,304th resignation from the Trump camp.

President Donald Trump announced Friday that Labor Secretary Alex Acosta has resigned, a move that comes after furor over a plea deal with Jeffrey Epstein.

Acosta has been under renewed scrutiny over his previous role as the US attorney in Miami, during which he negotiated the 2008 plea deal with Epstein. Epstein, a well-connected multi-millionaire, avoided a federal trial at the time and served only 13 months in prison for state prostitution charges over his involvement with underage girls. A Miami Herald investigation published last November described the plea deal, negotiated by Acosta, as the "deal of a lifetime."

Acosta's resignation is effective next Friday. Trump said the labor secretary will be replaced on an acting basis by the current deputy secretary, Pat Pizzella.

Acosta, standing next to Trump outside the White House before the President departed for a trip, said he resigned to remove himself as a distraction.

Good point! Then tragedy struck as Jeffrey Epstein killed himself. Now, here’s where the whole thing goes to shit. Conspiracy theorists on both sides are making the claim that he didn’t kill himself – he was murdered. And the degree of suicided varies on which news outlet is doing the reporting, and who gets the blame depends on what your late night or AM radio talk show of choice is.

News that wealthy financier Jeffrey Epstein was found dead Saturday morning in his jail cell has raised questions of how a high-profile suspect was able to apparently kill himself inside one of the country’s most high-security prisons.

Epstein, who was arrested in July for the alleged sex trafficking of minors, died at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, located in downtown New York City. The FBI and DOJ have launched investigations into Epstein’s death.

With a lack of answers coming from prison officials, conspiracy theories flourished on social media over the weekend with #EpsteinMurder trending worldwide.

Citing ongoing investigations into Epstein’s death, the Bureau of Prisons has been hush about specific details that led to the former financier’s apparent suicide, leaving only a few known facts in a pool of unanswered questions.

What we know about Epstein’s death

The Bureau of Prisons has released only one official statement since Epstein’s death on Saturday. The statement confirmed that around 6:30 am on 10 August, Epstein was found unresponsive in his cell in the Special Housing Unit of the prison “from an apparent suicide”. The Bureau of Prisons has not released any further information .

That is a good point, madame! One thing we don’t have a tolerance for at the Top 10 is bullshit, and there are some serious peddlers of it. Like for instance in Portland, where the famous alt right fight club known as the Proud Boys fight the mysterious, mask wearing protest group known as “Antifa”, even though we have a reason to suspect that Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes controls both groups and pits them against each other in a fight to the death.
The much-anticipated protest in Portland on August 17 that was instigated by the Proud Boys, a national right-wing extremist group, has dissipated with minimal engagement from counter-protesters.

The day's events began around 9:30 am, with a crowd of left-wing counter-protesters congregating at Tom McCall Waterfront Park to make costumes and plan their actions for the day. Some of these anti-fascist (or antifa) protesters arrived dressed in all black. Others dressed in banana costumes or wore unicorn horns.

Shortly after 11 am, a group of Proud Boys and associated right-wing activists marched across the Morrison Bridge from Southeast Portland, arriving in Waterfront Park just north of the bridge. The Portland Police Bureau (PPB) appeared to have anticipated their arrival, having staged lines of armored officers and cement barriers between the Proud Boys and the left-wing groups, who were gathered in the park just south of the Morrison Bridge.

While individual protesters later clashed, the bulk of the two main groups never met. Instead, the PPB allowed the Proud Boys to march east over the Hawthorne Bridge, which until that point had been completely closed to pedestrian and vehicle traffic. By the time antifa protesters—who, unlike the right-wing protesters, were not allowed by the PPB to cross the Hawthorne Bridge—reached the east side of the Willamette River, most of the gathered Proud Boys had boarded several buses and left, heading west over the Morrison Bridge.

Hey! Stop fighting guys!!! And speaking of fighting, before we close this chapter of the year, we have to delve into one of my other favorite stories of the year not involving Trump. It involves the internet sewer message board known as 4chan. A teenage social media influencer known as Bianca Davis was murdered (we delve into this in Idiots #7-4 ). And 4chan went completely off the wall insane posting her dead body all over the internet, possibly committing multiple felonies in the process. Yeah you don’t want to do that, it makes a bad situation that much worse.

A young woman active on social media was brutally murdered, with gruesome photos of her body posted to Instagram and other platforms.

Horrific images of 17-year-old Bianca Devins were posted on Instagram early Sunday, after she went to a concert in Queens with Brandon Andrew Clark.

Clark, 21, reportedly called police on himself, according to Lt. Bryan Coromato. When he was discovered in his car in Utica, Clark reportedly slit his own throat and posted pictures of his bleeding neck on Instagram as well.

Devins, who was a popular "egirl" on Tik Tok, was was found dead outside the SUV. Clark was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. The two reportedly met online, and had been seeing each other for about two months before the night of the concert, by Canadian musician Nicole Dollenganger.

Bianca's sister, Olivia Devins, later called Clark a "close family friend."

I love that show! That’s it for the summer, now we head straight for fall in…

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[font size="8"]September – October: Vaping Death
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The fall season for idiocy was so insane that I had to name it after a Metallica song because, well, it sounds pretty metal! I mean “Vaping Death” sounds a lot like the Metallica song “Creeping Death” doesn’t it? Well before we get into that, September is of course hurricane season, with Hurricane Dorian raving through the Gulf Coast. But up in the North, there was an insane thing that happened, and we missed a chance to cover it, because our show at Syracuse got cancelled. But that thing is the Straight Pride Parade in Boston, which was needed to be held because, reasons. And of course the usual band of alt right assholes, not only organized it, but showed up at the event and turned it into the shit show we all knew it would devolve into.

A "Straight Pride" parade in downtown Boston attracted counterprotesters -- and a heavy police presence -- resulting in almost three dozen arrests.

A large number of counterprotesters taunted marchers Saturday and chanted "Alt right, get off our streets, no justice, no peace." Counterprotesters outnumbered the parade participants, CNN affiliate WCVB reported. Boston's mayor also condemned the parade, and encouraged residents to attend block parties and other events that celebrated the city.

Thirty-four people were arrested at the parade, said Boston Police Officer James Moccia, a department spokesman. Four officers also suffered non-life threatening injuries, he said.

The parade started around noon at Copley Square and moved down Boylston and Tremont streets, ending at City Hall Plaza.

Floats and signs expressed pro-military and pro-Trump sentiments, such as "Support our troops" and "Build the wall and crime will fall." A man in a jester's hat carried a sign saying "Great to be straight" as he danced down the street.

Seriously, even the Delta House had a better taste in float decoration than the people attending the Straight Pride Parade did. Maybe they could take some decorating tips from the Queer Eye guys? I’m just saying. But while everyone was still reeling from a string of recent mass shootings, Trump had to go and ban vaping because – shocker – people *MIGHT* die from it. Yeah 6 deaths from vaping vs nearly 80,000 this year alone from guns. Which is more important? Well…

A teenager who says vaping gave him lungs “like a 70-year-old” is suing a leading e-cigarettes company.

Adam Hergenreder, an 18-year-old from Illinois, has accused Juul of marketing e-cigarettes to young people with the message that vaping could boost their social status

He underwent hospital treatment at the end of August for nausea and laboured breathing after using e-cigarettes for more than 18 months.

"I'm 18 years old. My lungs are like a 70-year-old's," he told CBS while in hospital. “My lungs will never be the same."

In a statement on Friday, Juul said it had “never marketed to youth” and argued its products were meant to help adult smokers quit traditional cigarettes.

No, don’t smoke to that, it will wreck your lungs! But Vaping Death sounds pretty metal doesn’t it? Then the Trump campaign headed to Michigan where Mike Pence went to a whistle stop in Mackinac Island – a place that famously has not allowed cars since the automobile was invented. And this comes *AFTER* the Trump administration decided that cars “have too much junk on them” (see: Idiots #7-13 ). Cue The Dude – this aggression will not stand, man!

Mackinac Island (pronounced "Mackinaw" ) draws nearly a million visitors each year and is regarded as one of the most precious natural resources in Michigan. Just 450 people live on the small destination, and they get around by bike.

"Bikes are just our way of life," Mary McGuire Slevin, the executive director of the Mackinac Island Tourism Bureau, told the sustainable-business news site TriplePundit. "They are like a part of our bodies, we don't even think about it. When I see a tourist go out for a bike ride around the circumference of the island, you can just tell the difference when they come pedaling back into town — they are more relaxed and have a big smile on their face."

Even Gerald Ford, the only president from Michigan, traveled by horse-drawn carriage when he visited Mackinac in 1975.

So when Pence broke with tradition over the weekend, controversy ensued. Several current and former Michigan residents reached out to Business Insider over email to share their thoughts.

" (This is) a true gem that has been assaulted in plain sight," Skaneateles, New York resident Bitsy Jennings Govern, who grew up in Michigan, told Business Insider.

While that’s going on, we also have to tell the tale of the gruesome murder of Jamal Khashoogi and the ensuring mystery surrounding it. Did the Saudis do the dirty deed or didn’t they? This is a conspiracy that goes far deeper than the Jeffrey Epstein murder, and it turns out that the Dear Leader whose name dare not be questioned, Donald J. Trump, may have had a hand in both. Jeffrey Epstein had connections to Trump and Clinton, but Khashoogi was getting to close to the real truth about the brutal Saudi regime.

For Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, whose henchmen killed and dismembered Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi in a Saudi consulate, life goes on much as before. In the spring, after the CIA detected new threats against Khashoggi’s associates, warnings went out to Canada, Norway and Washington, D.C. In November, the FBI arrested two former employees of Twitter, the platform often described as Saudi Arabia’s closest thing to a public square. Both were charged with passing on information about dissidents to bin Salman’s government.

By then, the crown prince had gone back to doing interviews with foreign press. Thirteen months and one day after Khashoggi’s murder, he presided over an IPO that valued the Saudi national oil company at $1.7 trillion, a world record. And in early December, the kingdom convened the Saudi Media Forum, to examine, according to its website, “challenges” facing the news media, “the formation of public opinion in the new environment of communication and etc.”

And speaking of bad people, one of my favorite movies of the year was the Joker, starring Joaquin Phoenix about the origin and rise of the famous Batman villain. And we can’t get out of here without examining the controversy surrounding the movie and whether or not history would repeat itself with a midnight mass shooting (and we covered this controversy in Idiots #7-14 ) , a la The Dark Knight Rises. So what could possibly await people seeing the Joker? Well, they could, but really didn’t.

Amid concerns about potential violent situations, the opening weekend of Warner Bros’ controversial Joker in New York City will see an increased police presence both in and out of uniform.

Earlier this week, the NYPD’s Chief of Patrol Rodney Harrison told officers that the department plans to visibly station cops at theaters showing the Joaquin Phoenix-starring film. Now Deadline has learned that a significant undercover detachment will also be deployed to make sure nothing untoward occurs inside cinemas in Manhattan, the Bronx, Queens, Brooklyn and Staten Island.

“This is 360-degree policing approach to ensure safety for ticket buyers in their seats, as well as on the streets,” a law enforcement official said of the strategy to have plain-clothed police in a number of theaters in America’s largest city starting with the October 3 previews and throughout the expected heavily attended weekend. “If something happens inside one of the screenings, we intend to be able to pacify the situation quickly and conclusively,” the well-placed source added, noting that large-scale and security-hefty events go off without a hitch in New York every day.

Still, concerns about threats have bedeviled this latest take on Batman’s arch nemesis since Joker debuted at the Venice Film Festival in late August. Set in a near-collapsing and crime-invested Gotham City of 1981, the Todd Phillips-directed and Golden Lion-winning Joker, which co-stars Robert De Niro, pays distinct homage to Martin Scorsese’s 1976 film Taxi Driver and 1982’s King of Comedy – both of which featured his The Irishman lead De Niro and both of which were stationed in a decaying NYC.

Yes it is! And we’re almost done here! That brings us to the winter season, and we are ending with…

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[font size="8"]November – December: Impeacment Is The Reason For The Season
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Yay, we’re almost done for the year. What? I still have 5 more entries? I just want to get it over with and see Vampire Weekend. Come on, I can see Ezra and the guys warming up backstage! OK fine, let’s power through this thing. So it’s very likely that Donald J. Trump stole the 2016 election and he will attempt again to steal the 2020 election. At the end of October, Nancy Pelosi dropped the big one and said that Trump can and should be impeached. Well, the biggest losers of this whole shindig easily turned out to be Jim Jordan, Steve Scalise, and Matt Gaetz all three of them R-Obviously. And with friends like these – a guy who’s roped in one of the biggest university sex scandals of all time, a gun shot victim turned full gun fetishist, and a guy who’s been convicted of a whopping 7 DUIs, who needs enemies? But the question is how will it end? Will Trump and those who have aided and abetted him finally get their just desserts? Or will Trump be the guy who gets away with it all like in the 90s classic movie LA Confidential? Either way you know they’re planning to blame the “deep state” which as we’ve discussed, is not really a thing.

What do you expect from a guy who's currently suing a Twitter Cow?

But the real piece de resistance came courtesy of Steve Scalise, who brought along a poster to show just how unhappy he is with proceedings.

Exactly how does Steve Scalise think leadership changes occurred in the Soviet Union? Leon Trotsky did not get impeached, though it wouldn't have been the worst thing to get a guy like Stalin out of the driver's seat.

Based on the cutout, it would seem the "Soviet-style" proceedings occurred in the "37 days" that Democrats have been interviewing witnesses behind closed doors. This is nonsense: we are still at the investigation stage. The accused does not get to send his lawyer along with the cops when they interview a witness. (That's not to mention that some of what's under discussion may be classified. People testify behind closed doors at the Capitol all the time.) When hearings begin in the House, it will be more like a grand-jury equivalent—meaning the defense still does not get to send a lawyer or question witnesses. The president will get his due process when the trial is held in the Senate, assuming the House votes to send it there. In the meantime, House Republicans are present for all of this and are undoubtedly running defense for him throughout.

But Scalise made clear his "Soviet-style" label also applies to the rules the Democrats put up for a vote, which allow committee chairs like Adam Schiff to veto the Republicans' inevitably batshit witnesses. Republicans have long sought to disrupt public hearings with made-for-TV crapola. It's not hard to imagine Republicans calling for Strzok and Page, or Bruce and Nellie Ohr, or any of the other characters from the Trump Conspiracy Cinematic Universe. Ideally, the Republicans would call witnesses relevant to the inquiry in a good-faith effort to get to the bottom of whether the president committed gross misconduct, but Nancy Pelosi was not born yesterday. She knows they might just as easily call Cap'n Crunch.

So let’s recap – Trump’s biggest supporters are a guy who got shot at a baseball game and continues to support guns, a 7 time DUI champion, a guy who’s been roped in one of the biggest university sexual harassment scandals of all time, and a guy who’s suing a cow. With friends like these, who really needs any enemies? Elsewhere, the Washington Nationals won the World Series and visited the White House, and we learned that Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman were both hardcore MAGAs.

Will someone please get the U.S. Marine Band off the internet?

The country's premier musicians have taken their skills down a notch, performing the world's most annoying jingle Baby Shark for the Washington Nationals during the team's White House visit. And that's far from the most unexpected stunt that happened when the World Series winners graced the South Lawn on Monday.

Not every National chose to head to the White House, giving either personal or political reasons for skipping the celebration with President Trump. But Kurt Suzuki was more than happy to be there. When Trump asked him to come up and say a few words, the catcher put on a MAGA hat, threw up his hands in a Trump-like manner, and unexpectedly participated in a Titanic reenactment with the president.

Paired with Ryan Zimmerman's thank you to Trump for "continuing to make America the greatest country to live in the world," the fan base that had booed Trump at a Nationals home game wasn't too happy. But politics aside, the most disturbing yet unfortunately memorable part of the event happened when the Marine Band broke out its rendition of Baby Shark. Kathryn Krawczyk

Seriously? Baby Shark? That’s how you choose to use the Marine Corp Marching Band? Really? As if that wasn’t weird enough, check out what Trump did to spend his Halloween:


They can’t even give out Halloween candy without it being weird. And we saw how weird Easter was, at that point, you almost have to feel sorry for the Easter bunny! Getting back to the impeachment trial, one of the highlights so far has been one of the biggest far right conspiracy theorists in the world, Roger Stone, going down in flames. But not before Alex Jones and his merry band of idiots attempted to interfere in the trial and got caught with their pants down:

InfoWars conspiracy theorist and Roger Stone ally Alex Jones stepped up his attacks on the jury at Stone’s trial on Tuesday, broadcasting the name and face of a woman he claimed was a juror at the trial and calling her a “minion” of anti-Trump forces.

“We’ve got her name, and we’re going to release it,” Jones said on his InfoWars broadcast, before revealing a woman’s name and putting her face on the screen behind him.

Later in the broadcast, Jones and his attorney were joined by a person dressed as the Grim Reaper and wielding a sickle. Stone hosted a show broadcast on InfoWars until recently, and Jones and his employees have frequently attacked the judge in Stone’s case, Judge Amy Berman Jackson.

Jones’ attacks on the jury were based on reporting that the first potential juror in the case was a former Obama administration employee in the Office of Management and Budget whose husband works for the Department of Justice. But in his rush to attack the potential juror as a deep-state plant, Jones appears to have gotten the wrong person.

During his broadcast, Jones didn’t show a picture of the actual potential juror, who, despite his claims, didn’t make it onto the jury anyway. Instead, he showed a picture of another former OMB staffer who appears to be totally unrelated to the Stone trial.

Hey don’t go full Infowars, never, ever go full Infowars. Because Alex Jones is an insane crazy man, and it was recently revealed that they just make shit up, which is not at all shocking. And if you’re expecting guys like Scalise, Jordan, Nunes, and Gaetz to make complete asses of themselves, you’re correct on that one because they absolutely did!

Republicans and Donald Trump have sought to smear key witnesses in the impeachment inquiry against the president as having dual or mixed loyalties to the US, due to being born abroad.

The move has sparked condemnation as a bigoted tactic that has maligned career US diplomats and officials as being potentially disloyal to their adopted country due to not being born in America.

The attacks have focused on the Ukraine ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, the National Security Council Ukraine expert Alexander Vindman, and the former White House Russia security expert Fiona Hill.

Trump called the Canadian-born Yovanovitch “bad news”. The British-born Hill told congressional investigators that accusations against Yovanovitch related to a “mishmash of conspiracy theories … an idea of an association between her and George Soros”.

Hill also said far-right conspiracy theories that she herself was a “Soros mole in the White House, of colluding with all kinds of enemies of the President, and, you know, of various improprieties” resurfaced after her deposition before the House intelligence committee was announced.

But that’s not exactly true, Cartman! And by the way, it’s been a while since we checked in with Melania’s “Be Best” campaign, and if you want to see how well that’s going, just look at what Trump’s been tweeting since Greta Thunberg beat him out for Person Of The Year in Time Magazine! And if you want to see how to completely derail an entire campaign in one tweet, look no further than what happened in Baltimore:

Melania Trump on Tuesday defended the rights of teenagers who booed her when she addressed them in Baltimore, a city her husband, President Donald Trump, has disparaged as “rat and rodent infested.”

She traveled there to urge hundreds of middle and high school students to avoid misusing drugs, saying that would make it harder for them to achieve their life's goals. But her remarks drew a mix of boos and cheers, and the audience remained noisy throughout her five-minute address.

It is highly unusual for a first lady to be booed at a public appearance. Mrs. Trump released a statement hours after she had returned to the White House, defending the principle of freedom of expression while reaffirming her commitment to the issue that drew her to Baltimore.

"We live in a democracy and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the fact is we have a serious crisis in our country and I remain committed to educating children on the dangers and deadly consequences of drug abuse," Mrs. Trump said.

The first lady has been using her prominence to spotlight programs she thinks can help young people, whether it's to teach them to be positive online or to avoid drug misuse and addiction.

Yeah you don’t want to go there, Melania. Maybe go to Alabama, or Mississippi where they still support you. Anyway before we wrap it up, I could point out that Kid Rock got caught saying something racist, or Borat himself claiming that Facebook has gone full Nazi, but one of my favorite things to happen at the end of the year was the completely batshit crazy, off the wall interview with John Schnatter of Papa John’s fame, I’m not even going to show the articles, let’s just play the clip, this is 2019 in a nutshell:

Yeah of course it wont if you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days, I think the meat sweats are coming out of your pores, man. That’s it for our 2019 year in review everybody! I’m out!

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[font size="8"]SantaCon: How Is This Still A Thing
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Santa Con, how is this still a thing? You know it’s Christmas time and everyone looks forward to Santa’s visit. Except of course for New York City, during the week before Christmas, thousands of people dressed as Jolly Old St. Nick gather in the Big Apple for a weekend of some hard drinking and debauchery. And the citizens of New York usually don’t want anything to do with the hard partying Santas. In fact these Santas really don’t care if you are naughty or nice. They just want to hang out in New York City and drink, wearing the signature Santa outfits. In fact if these Santas are coming to your door, you probably don’t want leave cookies and milk for them.

It's that time of year again -- the time of year when a large group of people dressed as Santa Claus flood the streets and subways of New York City in what has become an annual bar crawl tradition.

This year, however, "The Crossroads of the World" will be the meeting place for the inordinately amount of drunken Mr. and Mrs. Clauses.

This year’s SantaCon is scheduled for Saturday starting at 10 a.m. It will kick off from Father Duffy Square, a section of Times Square between West 46 and 47th Streets and Broadway and Seventh Avenue.

SantaCon is a massive annual bar crawl in which participants dress in red and white resembling jolly old St. Nick, elves and other holiday-themed costumes.

According to its official page, "SantaCon is a charitable, non-political, nonsensical Santa Claus convention that happens once a year to spread absurdist joy."

The rules of SantaCon are simple - don't mess with kids, cops, bar staff, the charity mission or simply, the city of New York.

Yes that’s pretty much what going to SantaCon is like for New Yorkers. Even the creators of SantaCon don’t want anything to do with SantaCon. In fact actual New Yorkers have been calling on mayor Bill DeBlasio to flat out cancel the Gathering Of The Santas. But there is one thing that all New Yorkers can agree on is that everyone hates SantaCon. No, not SantaCon!

Bill de Blasio could become the most popular mayor in New York City history if only he'd cancel SantaCon, said a man on a mission to put an end to the event.

"It would be a bold and frankly, a popular decision to make," said organizer Jason Selvig, of the comedic duo The Good Liars. "Hell, he could re-run for president on that platform."

Selvig has launched his Cancel SantaCon campaign about a week before thousands of drunken, vomiting, car-punching Santa Clauses are slated to storm New York City bars, subways and streets on Dec. 14.

The petition has garnered more than 300 signatures from New Yorkers calling on the Mayor to cancel SantaCon, the comedian said.

"Hatred of SantaCon may be the one thing that unites New Yorkers of all backgrounds and political beliefs," said Selvig. "SantaCon is the worst day of the year."

However, while New Yorkers dread the now annual gathering of the Santas and all the drunken, Fireball fueled debauchery that now comes with Christmas, the real party is happening in nearby New Jersey, where the NJ Transit System has actually ordered the Santas to keep their booze off of the Jersey trains and buses. Yes, this is a thing that actually needed to be said.

Santa is coming to town, specifically during the next two Saturdays, when the costumed, strolling cocktail party known as SantaCon happens in Hoboken and New York.

Both NJ Transit and SantaCon have some rules. But NJ Transit’s are the easiest for those dressing and drinking as Santas, elves, reindeers, Frosty and Olaf to remember - keep the booze off the transit system.

In fact, the agency said riders can’t drink any beverage aboard a train or light rail vehicle on Dec. 7 and 14, just in case someone is sneaking some Baileys in that innocent coffee. The ban also extends to unopened six-packs and airline sized Fireball bottles.

Beverages and food are normally banned from NJ Transit buses. This ban includes light rail and commuter trains.

NJ Transit’s ban is in effect on Dec. 7 for SantaCon in Hoboken and Dec. 14 for the New York event. The ban will be strictly enforced, NJ Transit officials said. Traditionally the Long Island Railroad, Metro North and MTA have similar bans when SantaCon hits NYC.

SantaCon is an annual bar crawl held around the country during December as a fundraiser for charity. In the case of New York SantaCon, participants donate by purchasing a $10 ticket through that event’s website, which also gives priority access to some locations, according to the NYC SantaCon website. It says $450,000 has been raised for charity over 9 years.

Well despite all the drunken debauchery that follows when thousands of Santas flood the streets of New York City and nearby New Jersey, SantaCon manages to get away with it because it’s billed as a charity fundraiser, and has actually raised legitimate charity money for legitimate causes. And there was that incident where the Santas helped a guy after getting stabbed on the LIRR, which is likely to happen when you visit New York. But that’s also one of the weirdest scenes to happen in New York lately, but even the police chief of Hoboken is sending an alarm into the “charitable causes” of SantaCon.

Thousands of people dressed as Santa, Mrs. Claus and elves descend upon the city every December for a pub crawl that requires a massive police response.

Hoboken's SantaCon dubs itself an "annual charity event for the local community" with the "best" drink specials.

"How many Santa's, Mrs. Clauses's and Elves do you see getting off the trains in Hoboken or standing in bar lines with presents for underprivileged children?" Ken Ferrante, the city's chief of police, tweeted.

As of 2 p.m., 23 city ordinance summonses were issued, 19 of those were for open container/consumption of alcohol in public, Ferrante tweeted.

A wave of police, including 25 Union City officers, will be deployed at 4 p.m.

The first arrest of SantaCon was made just after 1:30 p.m. The 29-year-old male from Ewing, was charged with criminal trespass and obstruction, Ferrante tweeted.

It costs taxpayers about $75,000 for the large police presence during SantaCon, the chief said in a Tweet.

So it’s just like Santa, only these Santas don’t care if you’re naughty or nice. That’s enough to make you ask – SantaCon:

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of UCLA! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know this is that time of year when we take an annual look at the conservative culture war that they’ve been waging since the dawn of time, and it’s a war that no one wants to fight. In fact people just flat out don’t care what stores say “Happy Holidays” vs “Merry Christmas” anymore. They are actually, outright, gloating about it. I mean really, was it ever OK to *NOT* say Merry Christmas? I mean America is a land of opportunity, where all races and religions are welcome. Well, at least they used to be before Fox News took over the landscape.

We're well into the 12 Days of the War on Christmas now, where the lead-up to the most ubiquitous holiday in the history of human civilization is punctuated by fears that the same holiday is under attack. The greeting, "Happy Holidays" is not, you see, a small and voluntary gesture meant to welcome many faith traditions to the American experience, predicated on the idea this is a nation for anyone willing to honor the values of a free society. Instead, the phrase is a heat-seeking missile launched at the Yuletide, an insidious plot to erase Christmas from American life.

Luckily, we've recently learned that Donald Trump, American president has already won the War on Christmas. A group of people which definitely exists were trying to stop other people saying, "Merry Christmas," but Donald Trump stopped them from stopping people from saying it. In conclusion, we're saying Merry Christmas again, folks. Yet such is the power of a mass delusion fueled by simmering resentment that somehow, even though the War was won, the defenders of Christmas still feel it necessary to constantly discuss the War, and how there was definitely a real time where you couldn't say, "Merry Christmas" in America.

Now here’s where I have a problem with that – we’ve been doing this thing for 3 years now and every year we’ve been doing a Christmas edition! Every year! Nobody is making it a burden on you to say “Merry Christmas” or put up tinsel and Christmas trees, you’re doing that to yourselves! Now contrast that with what happened over the weekend. If you watch the Hallmark Channel at all, well, you might have heard about this controversy.

People are calling for a boycott of the Hallmark channel in the middle of its famous Christmas movie season after the channel pulled an ad from wedding planning company Zola that featured a lesbian couple.

In response, a spokesperson for Zola told BuzzFeed News the company had decided to stop advertising on Hallmark entirely.

"The only difference between the commercials that were flagged and the ones that were approved was that the commercials that did not meet Hallmark’s standards included a lesbian couple kissing," Mike Chi, Zola's chief marketing officer, said in a statement.

The trouble started when the ad caught the attention of the conservative group One Million Moms. The group wrote on its website that it had received complaints from people who had been watching Hallmark, and seen the ad with two women kissing.

"The Hallmark Channel has always been known for its family friendly movies," the group wrote. "Even its commercials are usually safe for family viewing. But unfortunately, that is not the case anymore."

Yeah so we’ve been putting up with their bullshit for 15 years. They can’t take 15 seconds of a commercial and then they call us the lunatics? Get the hell out of here! Seriously, what’s wrong with them? This is something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would hate! Can I get an amen?? I mean come on One Million Moms, your schtick is getting old. And even Saturday Night Live was able to see through your bullshit!

Two years after Saturday Night Live skewered Hallmark Channel’s Christmas movies in a cut-for-time sketch, NBC’s program this holiday season aired a new parody of Hallmark’s signature franchise.

In fact, tonight’s skit was somewhat of a sequel to the 2017 sketch, featuring some of the same Hallmark Christmas movie character types and tropes, a big-city career woman, a young Santa, a black character with no backstory, a prince, a Christmas tree farm, a snow globe and a gazebo.

This time, the setting was A Winter Boyfriend for Holiday Christmas, a Hallmark dating show created by the algorithm that makes Hallmark holiday movies. It featured a bachelorette, a New York career woman played by host Scarlett Johansson, and three eligible bachelors, a Christmas tree farm owner (and ghost), played by Beck Bennett, a Prince with a British accent (Alex Moffat), and Nick Sr. Claus (young Santa), played by Kyle Mooney).

The skit touched upon the often criticized lack of racial diversity in Hallmark’s Christmas movies. Moffat was “Prince Simon of Caucasia”, while Chris Redd’s character had a couple of lines, and said that he had no name or back story.

The skit aired amid a controversy surrounding Hallmark Channel’s decision to pull a commercial featuring a lesbian couple kissing on their wedding day.

Imagine being so petty that you have to hound the network into submission so that way they pull an ad featuring two women in love and they can’t handle it? And somehow we are the snowflakes? Right. Oh and I don’t have to picture that, that man currently sits in the Oval Office! But there is some good news is that the Hallmark Channel reinstated their ties with Zola and resumed the ad. Really, One Million Moms, you can go eat one million bags of shit. Can I get an amen??

The Hallmark Channel on Sunday moved to reinstate ads featuring a same-sex couple that had been removed from the cable network. The decision came after considerable backlash over the initial decision to stop airing the ads from the wedding-planning company Zola.

"The Crown Media team has been agonizing over this decision as we've seen the hurt it has unintentionally caused," Hallmark CEO Mike Perry said in a statement Sunday night. "Said simply, they believe this was the wrong decision."

"Hallmark will be working with GLAAD [Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation] to better represent the LGBTQ community across our portfolio of brands," the statement continued. "The Hallmark Channel will be reaching out to Zola to reestablish our partnership and reinstate the commercials."

Perry also used the statement to apologize, saying, "Our mission is rooted in helping all people connect, celebrate traditions, and be inspired to capture meaningful moments in their lives. Anything that detracts from this purpose is not who we are. We are truly sorry for the hurt and disappointment this has caused."

That’s because no one wants to do business with these morons, Reverend! That’s it for Holy Shit this year, we will be back on January 8th! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this year for:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And this is always my favorite People Are Dumb segment of the year because we get to go through an entire year’s worth of epic fails and colossally stupid people throughout the year. Not anyone involved in the government, mind you, no, this is ordinary folks like you and I. So where do we begin this week? Well for the first one, going back to the beginning of the year, I love it when people try to recreate scenes from movies and it winds up ending very bad for them. And one scene you should never try and recreate is the driving scene from the Netflix movie “Bird Box”. It’s, well, it’s just a movie, people!

Police say a Utah teenager crashed into another car when she covered her eyes as part of the so-called “Bird Box Challenge.”

Layton police Lt. Travis Lyman said Friday that the 17-year-old drifted into oncoming traffic and hit another car after she pulled a hat over her eyes to emulate “Bird Box,” a Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix where characters must be constantly blindfolded to avoid visions that urge them to die.

Videos of people trying to do things while blindfolded have attracted widespread attention online, and Netflix tweeted a warning about the challenge last week.

No one was hurt in the Monday crash north of Salt Lake City.

Lyman says it should serve as a warning he never thought he’d have to give: Don’t drive while blindfolded.

Well duh! Don’t drive blindfolded I believe is the take away from this story. Next up – remember that episode of Seinfeld where George was riding the subway and he got blindfolded and taken for everything he had by a crazy con artist? Well, this is kind of like that except this guy had a boatload of cash and his own girlfriend was waiting for him in the lobby! This story has everything!

A naked man was getting ready to have sex with a woman he’d just met, while his understanding girlfriend waited downstairs, he told police in North Carolina, but things went downhill quickly after that.

Randleman Police said Christopher Hancock told them he was attacked and robbed at the late morning sexual rendezvous, the Courier-Tribune reported.

Hancock reported he and his girlfriend have an open relationship, and they both went to a house so he could have sex with the other woman, according to WSET.

With his girlfriend waiting downstairs on a couch on Jan. 28, Hancock told police he and the woman went to a bedroom and stripped naked, per WFMY. That’s when two men attacked Hancock, punching and choking him until he blacked out, the TV station reported.

When the Franklinville resident came to, he told police the men were gone, along with his pants and $10,000 he said he had in one of the pockets, according to the Courier-Tribune.

Read more: https://www.newsobserver.com/latest-news/article226410755.html

Yeah the bigger question is where was he going with that $10K? I feel like there’s a huge yada yada yada there. Next up – fast food fights! I love a good fast food fight. The thing with fast food – you get your bag of crap, check your order and then leave. And this one took place at a Taco Bell after this guy claimed they made his Mexican Pizza wrong and things went south from there.

According to cops, the suspect entered the Taco Bell in Spartanburg Wednesday afternoon complaining that “there was not enough meat on his Mexican pizza.” A store employee told cops that she “re-made the suspect’s food.”

The man, however, was equally displeased with his second pizza and demanded a refund. When told that was not possible since a manager was not on the premises, the suspect became “enraged,” declaring that he “would show the employees how to make his food the appropriate way,” according to a police report.

The man then “walked behind the counter into the kitchen area and began making his own food.” A Taco Bell worker noted that the suspect “did not follow proper health/safety guidelines” by not wearing “protective gloves while making his food.”

The Taco Bell employee said the suspect “made himself another Mexican pizza and subsequently left the store and premises.” The man, the worker said, “was angry and upset throughout his time in the facility” and used foul language in response to her repeated demands to leave the Taco Bell.

Next up – ever try to unclog a toilet by yourself? It’s a maddening job isn’t it? Well, these two guys attempted to try it themselves and things only went south from there. Yeah it’s kind of like the Cousin Eddie toilet scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

A man from St. Petersburg, Florida, shocked his roommate Saturday when he fired a gun inside their house and shattered a toilet.

Police said the bullet tore through numerous walls before it destroyed the porcelain throne, local station WTSP reported Sunday. Police arrested Ryan Rawson Montgomery, 40, who, according to an affidavit, claimed he was playing with the gun when it unexpectedly discharged.

After the incident, Montgomery tossed the gun in an area of water nearby. A visitor, Sheryl Jackson, 64, took the bullet, later telling police she wanted to hide it.

Police charged both Jackson and Montgomery with tampering with physical evidence. Also charged with culpable negligence and violating probation in Charlotte County, Montgomery is being held on a bail of $2,250. Jackson was released on a $2,000 bail, WTSP reported.

God remember when Randy Quaid only played characters like that? Next up I want to talk about an epic car fail story back from July. This is the kind of thing that people hate about marketing, and a promotion gone berserk. If you want to see the full story – it’s quite insane. Just go back to Idiots #7-4 . But a car dealer should not be giving away free guns, along with Bibles and American flags. First off, way to placate the stereotype. Second, that could end very badly for you!

A rural Alabama auto dealership is giving away a Bible, a 12-gauge shotgun and an American flag with the purchase of any new or used vehicle as part of its Fourth of July sales promotion.

Chatom Ford launched the campaign God, Guns and Freedom last week, with general sales manager Koby Palmer telling USA Today that it helped them sell 5 vehicles in just 3 days.

The social media feed from Chatom Ford states it is celebrating America's independence by offering these gifts in exchange for buying a vehicle. Every vehicle purchased new or pre-owned will come with a bible, 12-gauge shot gun, and American flag!

The post shows a dealership employee standing by a flag draped over a Ford F-150.

The video promoting the giveaway, which was posted June 19 and had been expected to run through July 31, has been deleted.

Finally I want to post the Florida Man story to end all Florida Man stories. Especially since it involves one of the biggest Disney flicks of all time, Frozen. Of course now Frozen 2 looks to shatter some box office records. Anyway, people, don’t do this type of thing with an inflatable toy! Meth is a hell of a drug, and good luck explaining that to your children! Just… let it go!

A Florida Man yesterday sexually assaulted a pair of “large stuffed animal toys” inside a Target store, according to police who arrested the fiend on a criminal mischief charge.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Cody Christopher Meader, 20, entered the retailer around 2 PM Tuesday and approached a display of merchandise featuring characters from the Disney film “Frozen.”

Meader, seen at right, selected a “large Olaf stuffed animal” and proceeded to place it on the floor of the Target in Pinellas Park. He then began to “dry hump” the cinematic snowman “until he ejaculated on the merchandise,” a cop reported.

Meader returned the soiled Olaf back to the display before entering the toy department, where he “selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to ‘dry hump’ this item.”

That’s it this year for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 18: Next Year
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Welcome back to our handy guide to the 2020 election, which we will be entering the cycle in a mere two weeks, Keeping Up With The Candidates! This is where we are keeping our guide to the mother of all elections, the 2020 US presidential election in one place! Last week, we said goodbye to the Kamala Harris for President campaign. This week, we’re going say goodbye to the 2019 year and look forward to what’s happening next year. And next year is a presidential year. Which means that it’s going to be a colossal shit show. And the speculation is already beginning to run rampant. So what can we look forward to in a presidential election? And especially one that could see Trump packing? To do so we’re going to take a look at what happened to our friends across the pond in Brexit – Boris Johnson was just handed a colossal victory and it could potentially rip the EU apart.

It started with a stunning exit poll that no one - not even the pollsters, possibly not even Downing Street, had predicted.

Echoing Margaret Thatcher’s landslide victories of the 1980s, the early taste of Boris Johnson’s epic triumph came as the clock stuck 10pm and the shock result was dramatically projected in technicolour for all to see.

Could the Conservatives really be predicted to win 368 seats - a massive 86 majority over Labour on a paltry 191? Only time would tell if what looked like a complete evisceration of Jeremy Corbyn’s hard-Left Communist cabal across swathes of Labour heartlands in the Midlands.

This could potentially have some devastating consequences. Now how could this affect the vote here, and many including Trump himself are saying that the UK conservative vote could have a ripple effect here in the States. But while Boris is vowing to get Brexit done, that’s still easier said than done given how much of a disaster the UK Parliament is currently in. Now let’s parallel that with the US Congres.

Britain held its fourth national vote in less than five years Thursday – if 2016's referendum on EU membership is included – and incumbent Prime Minister Boris Johnson stormed to victory in a contest that was notionally about one thing: Brexit.

Yet it was also about a potential realignment of Britain's political identity.

Johnson's Conservative Party secured 364 of 650 parliamentary seats in a vote that drew comparisons, in terms of its gravity, to Margaret Thatcher's election in 1979.

In the end, the result drew an additional dotted line to the Iron Lady. It marked the Conservative Party's best result since Thatcher’s third election win in 1987.

Thatcher, U.S. President Ronald Reagan's political soulmate, launched Britain on a path toward economic reform and aggressive privatization of its major industries from which it has never looked back – or recovered, depending on your politics.

Johnson won with a simple message. He vowed to "get Brexit done."

No so we don’t want that to happen here. Now how could we prevent that from happening? Well there’s several things. We don’t want to be a doom and gloom scenario kind of people, but these things tend to happen. But there is one thing that we have to be vigilant on: bot accounts. The bot accounts are going to come fast and fierce, and they’re coming for your vote. If there’s one thing we need to learn a lesson on from 2016 and last week’s British vote, it’s this.

The prospect of Russian interference in Britain's election flared anew Saturday after the social media platform Reddit concluded that people from Russia leaked confidential British government documents on Brexit trade talks just days before the general U.K. vote.

Reddit said in a statement that it has banned 61 accounts suspected of violating policies against vote manipulation. It said the suspect accounts shared the same pattern of activity as a Russian interference operation dubbed "Secondary Infektion" that was uncovered earlier this year.

Reddit investigated the leak after the documents became public during the campaign for Thursday's election, which will determine the country's future relationship with the European Union. All 650 seats in the House of Commons are up for grabs.

Reddit said it believed the documents were leaked as “part of a campaign that has been reported as originating from Russia."

So what is going to happen? How do we combat the bots? It’s going to take a lot to defeat foreign and outside influence in the next election. And who’s going to come out on top? People, we’ve got 11 months to pick a candidate and we’d better come to a consensus! Someone has to beat Trump and end this nightmare once and for all! But who’s it going to be? WHO????

Former Vice President Joe Biden and Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders lead the crowded Democratic field, pulling in together about half of the support of Democratic voters and Democratic-leaning independents, according to the latest NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist Poll.

Biden leads with 24%, followed closely by Sanders at 22%. Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren is third with 17%, followed by South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg at 13%, all together making up a clear top tier of four candidates.

Entrepreneur Andrew Yang is fifth with 5%; former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar and New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker all pull in 4%.

Clustered together with just 1% support are former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Julián Castro, Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard and Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet. Former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, billionaire Tom Steyer, spiritualist and author Marianne Williamson and former Rep. John Delaney all get less than 1%.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

There is no next week, this is the season finale! See you next year everybody!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Vampire Weekend[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s get this post season party started! I am extremely excited to have this next guest on, their latest album is called “Father Of The Bride”. You can see them on tour next July and August, unfortunately no LA dates yet. Playing their song “Harmony Hall”, give it up for Vampire Weekend!

Thank you UCLA! This is the end of Top 10 season 7! I’d like to thank my staff, my crew, all of our travel partners and hosts! The Top 10 returns January 8th with a brand new edition live from Syracuse, New York! See you next year!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Pauley Pavilion, UCLA, CA
Special Thanks To: UCLA
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UCLA Choir Club, Westwood, CA
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Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 18, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

I think that's every year!

Especially the last three! I'm going to need a long break after this one!
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 11, 2019, 07:20 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-22: Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Whatever Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-22: Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Whatever Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up USC? How are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Man it is good to be back home! We’ve been touring all over the country appearing at universities all over this great nation of ours, and no, we’re not afraid to set foot in red states, though we probably won’t be going to Alabama or Mississippi any time soon. Well hey, it happens! Do we have time for the thing? Yeah so I don’t know if you saw this story pop up first of all, but someone duct taped a banana to a wall and called it art. And then that art was sold for $120,000. I will repeat that. Yes, that was sold for $120,000. But what made it even weirder? Someone pulled the banana (*DING*) off the wall and ate that banana. I’m no art guy, as you can plainly tell by the quality of graphics on this program, so I am not one to judge art. But really… what the fuck? And as you are probably well aware, one of my favorite TV shows of all time is Arrested Development. I do love all of the posts on Twitter that were referencing the show’s famous banana stand. I mean it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost? $10? Well, this particular banana cost $120,000! And really I’d point out how absurd it is but since we’ve been covering how absurd everything is for the better part of nearly 3 years now, I will just say fuck it, and we need Bernie Sanders to tax the crap out of whoever bought this, but we don’t have time for rational solutions! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to but first Stephen Colbert delves into the impeachment madness on “Don & The Giant Impeach”:

Well folks, impeachment… no longer a hoax! In the number one slot we’re going to dedicate it to all things impeachment (1) including Louis Gohmert’s stunningly stupid revelation on the House floor about future career choices. In slot #2, ugh, I don’t want to talk about this story but really, George Zimmerman (2) can go fuck himself with a rusty spoon, and the NRA can go eat shit. Yes he’s suing the Martin family for an ungodly sum of money. And yes, he can go fuck himself. Taking the third slot this week is Trump’s press secretary Kellyanne Conway (3) and her Twitter feud with her husband George is something to behold, and if you think Trump gets the most grossly unqualified people for the job, you might also be right! In slot number 4, a Russian hacker collective known as “Evil Corporation” (4) got busted by world intelligence operations and we can’t help but cue the references to USA Network’s excellent series Mr. Robot. For the #5 seed this week, is the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (5) and don’t think for a minute that we’re not going to let him get away with his absolutely insane ramblings on toilets, bathrooms, and how babies work. At slot #6 is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (6) and this week – how could a brewery that nobody’s ever heard of suddenly take over one of the largest craft breweries in the world? We are going to get to the bottom of this insane merger! And in the 7th slot of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (7), is the Christian right gaslighting us? It would certainly seem that way, given their unrelenting support of the unholy Dark One, and our resident pastor has some thoughts on that. Taking the 8th slot this week is our feature “Unpopular Opinions”. OK people stop freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, OK! There’s plenty of dead references in popular culture that you just flat out won’t get unless you were there. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, is a new “I Need A Drink” (9) and this week we’re going to talk about how the German holiday of Krampus is getting mainstream popularity, and if you’re tired of the Christmas ad blitz, have we got a holiday for you! Finally this week is our 2020 Voter’s Guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10), and this week we must bid adieu to the Kamala Harris campaign, but she isn’t done yet! And the palate cleanser for putting up with my BS, we have a live performance from an awesome new band out of Mongolia – The Hu! Buy their new album “The Gereg” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Impeachment
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It’s no secret that conservatives literally lie about everything. They are the party of liars, bullies, and assholes. And the more they lie, the worse they look to the rest of us who aren’t indoctrinated in the cult. Here’s the thing – impeachment is no longer a hoax, it is a reality. Of course you wouldn’t know that if you read the Twitter feed from @realDonaldTrump, he is doing everything he can to distract us from what’s really going on, and his administration is just a flat out dumpster fire at this point. Which is what it was designed from in the beginning. But before I get into the meat of the impeachment discussion, I want to first address Louis Gohmert’s stunningly stupid revelation about your kids’ possible future career choices.

When a Republican congressman went so far as to encourage American mothers to refrain from sending their children to some of the nation’s top law schools, he was articulating a sentiment that has been prevalent among conservatives for a while: Higher education — particularly of the elite variety — is harmful for America.

Four constitutional scholars testified before the House Judiciary Committee on Wednesday; the three invited by Democrats — Harvard Law School professor Noah Feldman, Stanford Law School professor Pamela S. Karlan and University of North Carolina School of Law professor Michael Gerhardt — said that there is evidence that President Trump committed an impeachable offense by using his power to request that Ukraine investigate a 2020 political rival.

Republican lawmakers weren’t happy with what they heard — or the places from which they believe these views came.

While speaking at a news conference following the 8½-hour impeachment inquiry hearing, Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.), a Baylor University Law School graduate, said:

“All I got to say is: If you love America, mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to go to Harvard or Stanford law school.”

Rep. Douglas A. Collins (Ga.), a graduate of Atlanta’s John Marshall Law School and the top Republican on the committee, opened the hearing stating: “America will see why most people don’t go to law school.”

And Rep. Matt Gaetz (R.-Fla.), a College of William & Mary Law School graduate, sought to paint the professors as out-of-touch offenders of everyday Americans.

Man that’s the laziest country song ever. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be whatever… just don’t let them be doctors and lawyers and such. Because education is bad for the Trump base, it encourages independent thinking y’all! But here’s the best part – all their gaslighting is backfiring on them and there have actually been articles of impeachment produced! So what are they? Well just two and here’s what is in them.

The process for dealing with a President or other federal elected official who abuses their office is spelled out broadly in the Constitution.

In Article I of the Constitution, it says the House shall have the sole power of impeachment and the Senate shall have the sole power to try impeachments.

But the process has evolved over the years. The Constitution does not include the term "articles of impeachment," but a November 2019 Congressional Research Service analysis of the impeachment process explains what they are.

"The House impeaches an individual when a majority agrees to a House resolution containing explanations of the charges," according to the report. "The explanations in the resolution are referred to as 'articles of impeachment.'"

Once articles of impeachment are approved in the House, the Senate takes those allegations and conducts a trial considering whether to remove a President from office. The Constitution mandates that the chief justice of the Supreme Court presides.

Hey Trump guess what? You’re fired!!! Well not yet it’s still going to take a trial in the senate and that could go… either good or bad depending on how you look at the situation. But of course our government is currently being run by people who have absolutely no idea how the constitution works, and we unfortunately got to deal with these people. But is Lindsay Graham really the guy who you want controlling the chaos? He’s an agent of chaos!

Rep. Jim Banks is calling on fellow Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham to ratchet up his defense of President Donald Trump, as House Republicans race to influence the Senate’s GOP strategy in a looming impeachment trial.

In a Wednesday letter to Graham, Banks encouraged the Senate Judiciary Committee chairman to “rethink” his impeachment strategy, in the latest sign that the House GOP is growing restless with their Republican colleagues across the Capitol.

The letter comes after Graham, a top Trump ally, rebuffed a number of the House GOP’s calls for hard-line tactics to defend Trump — including a request from Banks to subpoena the phone records of House Intelligence Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.), who led the Democrats’ impeachment inquiry.

But while Trump and his conservative allies in the House are pushing for an aggressive defense in the Senate impeachment trial — which they view as a chance to go on offense and clear the president’s name — Senate GOP leaders are taking a different approach. They’ve made clear that they don’t want the trial to turn into a spectacle, increasing the likelihood that long-simmering tensions between the House and Senate GOP could boil over.

No one’s getting fired just yet! And really people can we stop with the damn polls already? We all know they’re meaningless at this point. Politics in America is becoming like an 8th grade dance – Democrats are firmly on one side and Republicans are firmly on the other side. And no one is going to be doing any inter mingling anytime soon. So stop it, cut it out! No one’s mind is going to be changed on anything at this point, and that’s scary.

Support for impeachment has remained virtually unchanged from last month despite several weeks of public testimony, a new poll has found.

The Monmouth University poll, which was conducted before this Monday's Judiciary Committee impeachment hearing and before the House leaders unveiled articles of impeachment on Tuesday, found that 45 percent of Americans believe Trump should be impeached and removed from office while 50 percent do not.

In November, 44 percent of respondents said he should be impeached and removed while 51 percent said they did not support this.

“Opinion on impeachment has been rock steady since news of the Ukraine call first broke. Any small shifts we are seeing now are likely to be statistical noise,” Patrick Murray, director of the independent Monmouth University Polling Institute, said in a statement Wednesday.

The poll also found that 38 percent of Americans believe Trump's actions are clearly grounds for impeachment, while 15 percent say they should be looked at as possible impeachable offenses.

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[font size="8"]George Zimmerman
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Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I didn’t want to talk about this story. I fought with my staff about it, and quite frankly it sucks. I wanted to talk about Brexit instead but we’ll save that for another entry in a future edition. Words cannot express my utter contempt for this colossal piece of shit, and that is it. Yes, we’re talking about George Zimmerman here. And if you don’t know why he was trending then you will after this entry. George Zimmerman is effectively suing the family of the child that he murdered in that dark alleyway for an ungodly sum of money. And if you think I’m kidding let’s replay that segment from John Oliver about SNAP lawsuits:

OK that out of the way this is how George Zimmerman managed to prove that he’s the biggest douche in the universe:

George Zimmerman is suing the family of the teenager he shot nearly eight years ago, seeking more than $100 million from Trayvon Martin's parents, their attorney and others. Zimmerman claims he was the victim of a conspiracy, along with malicious prosecution and defamation.

Martin's family has responded with a statement saying there's no evidence to back Zimmerman's contentions that he was the victim of a conspiracy.

Zimmerman was acquitted on all charges related to his shooting of Martin, who was 17 and unarmed when Zimmerman shot and killed him in a gated Florida community where Martin's father lived. Zimmerman claimed he shot Martin in self-defense during a scuffle. Zimmerman had faced charges of second-degree murder and manslaughter in the case, which also shed light on Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law.

Zimmerman and his lawyer, the controversial attorney Larry Klayman, allege that Rachel Jeantel, a key witness for the prosecution who testified about being on the phone with Martin just before the shooting, was an impostor. They accuse her of standing in for another teenager, Brittany Diamond Eugene, whom the suit describes as Jeantel's half sister who did not want to testify in the case.

Oh fuck off you scumbag! You murdered a teenager in a dark alleyway and got off because Florida’s insane gun laws allowed you to “stand your ground”. So while you murdered a kid in an alleyway for carrying nothing more than a bag of Skittles, the state of Florida goes full black knight and says that it was just a flesh wound. And in case you’re wondering, oh this gets worse. So much worse.

Klayman says there is “newly discovered evidence” in a recently published book and documentary by Joel Gilbert called “The Trayvon Hoax: Unmasking the Witness Fraud That Divided America.” Both contend Jeantel was not Martin's girlfriend and had not been speaking on the phone with him.

“The research also allegedly reveals that Trayvon’s real girlfriend and legitimate phone witness was in fact Miami resident Brittany Diamond Eugene, who was switched out for Jeantel when Eugene refused to bear false witness against Zimmerman,” Klayman alleges.

Rachel Jeantel of Miami and Brittany Diamond Eugene of West Park, Florida, are listed as defendants in the suit. NBC News reached out to both by email and got no immediate response.

Gilbert is a frequent InfoWars guest who has produced movies that have falsely claimed that former President Barack Obama's real father was a Chicago communist, that Paul McCartney is dead and Elvis Presley is alive.

Meanwhile, activist Marie Rattigan filed a complaint against Klayman with the Florida Bar alleging that “in an effort to revictimize the family of Trayvon Martin” he filed a “frivolous complaint.” She also noted that Klayman listed the home addresses of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit but not of Zimmerman “to protect him from the same harm he intends to unleash on the defendants.”

That’s right – it’s the world’s tiniest violin playing just for George Zimmerman. And of course I need not to point out how insane Infowars is, and they’re definitely not helping things here. There’s no mistake how horrible of a person Zimmerman is. But there’s no conspiracy here, he’s just a piece of shit, and anyone who supports this monster is also a piece of shit. And really do we need to know the motives behind this suit? It’s like that kid from Kentucky who sued the Washington Post for $250 million – there’s no motive, it’s just a legal way of saying “fuck you”.

George Zimmerman — who was acquitted in the murder of Trayvon Martin in 2012 — filed a lawsuit on Dec. 4 against Martin's family for defamation and conspiracy. Callie Crossley, host of WGBH News’ Under The Radar, joined Boston Public Radio Friday to speak about Zimmerman's motives for suing.

"This is a $100 million lawsuit that he filed against Trayvon Martin's family," Crossley said. "It doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe he wants some attention."

A new book and film by Joel Gilbert claims that false evidence was used in the 2012 Martin trial, spurring Zimmerman to file the new lawsuit, Crossley noted.

"[Gilbert] directed a film which says the whole case was a hoax," she said. "This reminds me very much of those people running around saying the kids at Sandy Hook weren't killed."

Oh fuck off. Oh and fuck Infowars for helping this monster. But there is some good news is that this lawsuit most likely wont get very far, if anything it would get laughed out of court at the very least, provided we have a competent judge at the helm of this farce. Let’s ask an actual legal analyst what they think of the situation.

George Zimmerman has filed a $100 million lawsuit in Florida state court. The 36-page lawsuit, which reads like a conspiracy novel, alleges that Zimmerman is "the victim" of malicious prosecution, abuse of process, civil conspiracy and defamation.

He names the parents of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin and the Martin's family attorney Ben Crump along with a number of other defendants. In a nutshell, Zimmerman's lawsuit claims that there was no legitimate basis for his prosecution. Instead, he asserts that prosecutors conspired against him to fabricate witness testimony and that a new book by Crump contained false claims about him.

Crump, along with Trayvon's parents, Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton, denied the allegations. "This plaintiff continues to display a callous disregard for everyone by himself, revictimizing individuals whose lives were shattered by his own misguided actions," Crump said in a statement issued on his and Travon's parents' behalf.

How astonishing that Zimmerman, who shot and killed Trayvon on February 26, 2012, can now claim to be the victim. Martin's young life was taken by Zimmerman who incorrectly assumed that Martin was some sort of harmful vagrant. The truth, however, was that Martin was simply an innocent teen with a pack of Skittles in his pocket, who was having a visit with his dad. He represented no danger to the community at all.

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[font size="8"]George Conway Vs Kellyanne Conway
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OK whew, let’s get the horrible and revolting stench of George Zimmerman and Infowars out of the room and get back to some good old fashioned idiocy. You know there’s a good reason why I post anonymously on Twitter – there’s some real douchebags out there, and I wouldn’t want them getting my name or home address. Plus, you also don’t want to take any chances on running into someone you know online while posting in hashtag games about Disney characters that drink too much, or adding an extra word to a movie to change the meaning of the title. The Big Lebowski Rises. Yeah let’s go with that. But that said, one person you should definitely not run into online is your husband or wife. Especially if you happen to be a prominent member of this insane administration. And you happen to have opposite political views, because that never ends well.

It's no secret that top presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway and her husband, a frequent Trump critic, don't see eye to eye on the president. On Monday, they duked it out on Twitter after conservative lawyer George Conway needled his wife about a Joe Biden tweet.

Kellyanne Conway had retweeted a brief video clip of the former vice president speaking to a crowd, along with a comment: “Sleepy Joe is Creepy Joe,” she wrote. “We need Ukraine’s help to defeat THIS guy?”

To which George Conway responded: “Your boss apparently thought so.”

Such online sparring has become a staple of the Trump presidency. Earlier this year, after George Conway suggested that Trump wasn’t mentally fit to serve, the president called him “a total loser,” “the husband from hell” and a “whack job.”

“You. Are. Nuts,” the lawyer responded on Twitter.

But speaking to Politico, Kellyanne Conway defended the president, saying he should be able to respond after a “non-medical professional accused him of having a mental disorder.”

Yeah so an online feud never looks good for everybody, but this program is based on an online feud between liberals and conservatives, so you never know! I really wonder what Thanksgiving is like at their house. Especially when Kellyanne gets paid to support literally everything this administration does, and George does not. But this isn’t the first Twitter clap back between the two.

White House counselor Kellyanne Conway confronted CNN's Wolf Blitzer on live television Thursday after he played footage of her husband criticizing President Trump and Republicans as part of MSNBC's coverage of the impeachment hearing the day before.

Conway accused CNN of "embarrassing" itself by playing the remarks from frequent Trump critic George Conway, suggesting it was only doing so in a bid to drive ratings and make her look bad.

"It's the same stuff all the time. What you just quoted is said every day by other voices but you wanted to put it in my husband's voice because you think somehow that that will help your ratings or that you're really sticking it to Kellyanne Conway," she said after the clip was aired.

The incident came toward the end of an already contentious segment during which Conway and Blitzer sparred over the impeachment hearing.

Blitzer then told Conway he had a “final question” for her.

Oh boy pass the popcorn because dis gonna be good. You know how we have often talked about how much the Trump presidency is resembling a cult? Well, let’s ask someone who’s not only in the cult, but only a few tiers below Dear Leader, and not only is the Trump administration a cult, it’s very closely resembling Scientology at this point. Just replace Xenu with Jesus and you’ve pretty much got the same thing, only without the e-meters.

Things are apparently getting even more tense in the Conway household. As impeachment hearings heat up, the relationship between George Conway and his wife Kellyanne Conway have “become increasingly distant,” writes Gabriel Sherman in Vanity Fair. A Republican who speaks frequently with George Conway claims that he “tells people she’s in a cult.” The word cult is apparently bandied about quite a bit in George Conway’s circles. “It’s not going to get better until she’s cast out of the cult,” a “person close to George” told Sherman.

Rather than confront them, the couple appears to largely ignore their differences of opinion and act as if they don’t exist. That is made easier by the way in which George Conway is spending lots of time working in Manhattan. When they see each other, they really avoid the whole Trump issue but they apparently can’t avoid some “passive-aggressive digs” here and there.

George Conway’s constant attacks on the administration don’t just bother his wife though. It seems Donald Trump himself is not too happy with the situation and has blamed Kellyanne for the situation: “George gets all his power from you,” he reportedly told her recently. The situation is so bad that Jared Kushner is pushing for Kellyanne Conway’s ouster but so far Trump doesn’t seem convinced.

If there’s one thing you need to know about a cult is that you never, ever question Dear Leader or there will be some consequences! Also if there’s one thing you don’t do either, it’s get between a couple who has dueling political differences. I’m just saying you don’t want to be that guy because it could get really ugly for everyone involved, especially you. Think of it like drinking that mysterious green liquid thinking it’s Mountain Dew but it really is radioactive toxic waste. Actually, radioactive toxic waste and Mountain Dew pretty much have the same color. I’m rambling again.

George Conway slammed President Donald Trump's 2020 campaign manager, Brad Parscale, after the official issued a personal attack against the husband of White House senior counselor Kellyanne Conway.

Parscale's initial criticism came in a tweet commenting on a sarcastic post by George Conway. In his tweet, the attorney and staunch Trump critic shared a post highlighting the book cover of The Toddler In Chief, which includes an image of the infamous Trump baby balloon. Conway quipped, "Who cares if there's any text."

Trump's campaign manager then retweeted Conway's post, describing the attorney as "irrelevant" and a "lost puppy."

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[font size="8"]Evil Corporation
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This is some next level James Bond shit come to life. Remember the Pierce Brosnan flick Goldeneye? In the movie, a group of Russian hackers planned to take over the Bank Of England by using a satellite to fry the bank servers. Eh. In 2019 all they need now is your login information and bank account password and they can get in that way. You don’t need to fry servers and use expensive satellites, either, it would be too hard on your profit margins. In real life, while you were sleeping last week, the FBI nailed a Russian hacking group called “Evil Corporation” – yes, that’s the name, and it’s not at all obvious what they are up to. They’re out to steal your identity and your money. Now if only we had someone as charismatic as Pierce Brosnan to stop them!

The US Treasury Department announced new sanctions Thursday on a Russian-based cybercriminal organization called "Evil Corp" for using malware to steal more than $100 million from hundreds of banks and financial institutions.

Specifically, Evil Corp used the malware known as Dridex to "infect computers and harvest login credentials from hundreds of banks and financial institutions in over 40 countries, causing more than $100 million in theft," according to the Treasury Department.

US banks were a prime target, a senior administration official said Thursday.

"Treasury is sanctioning Evil Corp as part of a sweeping action against one of the world's most prolific cybercriminal organizations. This coordinated action is intended to disrupt the massive phishing campaigns orchestrated by this Russian-based hacker group," Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said in a statement.

"OFAC's action is part of a multiyear effort with key NATO allies, including the United Kingdom. Our goal is to shut down Evil Corp, deter the distribution of Dridex, target the 'money mule' network used to transfer stolen funds, and ultimately to protect our citizens from the group's criminal activities," he added.

Come on, you really need to place sanctions on a group that calls itself “Evil Corporation”? That will only encourage them further. It’s like giving Neo Nazis a safe space. Oh wait, we actually do that. But here’s the scary thing is that we actually may not know the true damage of what Evil Corp has been up to and the hacks could be going back decades! I am sure their boss Vladimir Putin is pleased!

The U.S. unveiled criminal charges and sanctions against members of a group that calls itself Evil Corp, which authorities blame for some of the worst computer hacking and bank fraudschemes of the past decade.

The Justice Department, working mainly with the Treasury Department and British authorities, brought conspiracy and fraud charges against members of the group. It said the group “has been engaged in cybercrime on an almost unimaginable scale,” using malware to steal tens of millions of dollars from customers doing online banking. Treasury said on Thursday it would sanction Evil Corp and its leaders for cyber-thefts committed at hundreds of financial institutions around the world.

The organization’s alleged leader, identified as Maksim Yakubets, also worked for Russia’s Federal Security Service intelligence agency, according to the Treasury Department. Yakubets was directed to work on projects for the Russian state starting in 2017, it said. The Russian ambassador to the U.S., Anatoly Antonov, called the accusation “groundless.”

Yeah where is that guy when you need him? And speaking of James Bond, if you’re picturing this group to live the life of a lavish James Bond villain, well, you’re not that far off. These guys really do live in giant mansions with moats surrounded by sharks. They probably have giant laser beams attached to their heads, too. This is where it gets really weird. Because why wouldn’t it?

The millionaire leader of what authorities have called "the world's most harmful cyber crime group," Evil Corp, lives a life full of luxury items and exotic animals.

Maksim "Aqua" Yakubets, a 32-year-old Russian man, was indicted on Thursday by US authorities. He's charged with carrying out "two separate international computer hacking and bank fraud schemes" across the past 10 years, siphoning millions of dollars from UK citizens into the coffers of Evil Corp, the UK's National Crime Agency said.

Since Yakubets resides in Russia, the indictments won't affect him unless he leaves the country. "If Yakubets ever leaves the safety of Russia," the agency said, "he will be arrested and extradited the US."

For now, Yakubets still lives in Russia and is apparently living it up alongside his cohorts. When they're not driving his custom Lamborghinis or taking videos of a lion cub roaming an ornate rug, they're posing for photos with wads of cash.

Take a look.

Yeah so if this seems like a James Bond movie – there’s fast, ridiculously equipped cars, giant villain like mansions and tons more. Now we just need an uber spy who is capable of taking them down, but at the very least we have the FBI. And you know how they got caught? You know in those movies how there’s a plan how the villain always has a test control before carrying it out on a massive scale? Well that’s how they got caught.

A high school, banks and a handful of businesses in Western Pennsylvania were victims of cyber crimes by Russian hackers, federal authorities said Thursday.

After a 10-year investigation, Russian nationals Maskim V. Yakubets and Igor Turashev were indicted in Pittsburgh and accused of distributing financial malware as part of a conspiracy involving computer hacking, wire fraud and bank fraud schemes.

The two allegedly stole about $70 million and attempted to steal about $200 million from at least 300 victims around the world, investigators said.

The first victim in the area was Mercer County’s Sharon High School, said Scott Brady, U.S. attorney for the Western District of Pennsylvania.

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[font size="8"]Toilet Gate
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There’s two things that are perfectly clear here. The first is that the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, doesn’t know how babies work. The second is that he also doesn’t know how toilets and lightbulbs work. We also get the suspicion that he spends way too much time in the bathroom depending on how many Big Macs and Diet Cokes he eats in a given day. But you know what? Before we delve into this story, we need to roll the tape on it. Because the entire rant is just… spectacular to say the least. Well, spectacularly stupid to say the least. Hit it!

What the fuck is he talking about? And how can anyone not see this as the ramblings of an absolute mad man?

President Donald Trump on Friday had a lot to say about toilets, sinks and showers.
The President claimed Americans are flushing their toilets "10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once" and argued that they are having difficulty with washing their hands in what appeared to be a tangent about low-flow sinks and toilets.

"We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on -- and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don't get any water," the President said during a roundtable with small business leaders about deregulatory actions.

"You turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out," the President continued, lowering his voice as he spoke about the drips. "People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once."

It wasn't entirely clear what he was talking about but it appeared to have to do with bathroom fixtures with low-flow appliances. He said the Environmental Protection Agency was looking into the issue on his suggestion.

"They end up using more water. So (the) EPA is looking at that very strongly at my suggestion," Trump said, though he did not give details on what suggestions, if any, he made. Video of the President's comments has been viewed more than a million times online.

I'm pretty sure that's a live look in at what Trump thinks people actually do in the bathroom! And to be fair, Trump is setting the American Standard for presidents! I wish I could take credit for that joke, I found it on Twitter. But there is a lot to unpack here and it is the stuff of pure insanity. Oh yes these are the thoughts a completely rational, sane person here. And by the way in case you’re wondering where this nonsense comes from, leave it to the libertarians to install some bad ideas:

In a 1998 20/20 segment, in what might be his magnum opus, libertarian icon John Stossel laid waste to the very same toilet regulations that Trump complained about on Friday. He interviewed toilet pressure enthusiasts who were so bummed out by new regulations on the amount of water that could be used for flushing that they searched junkyards and traveled to Canada to find high-powered commodes.

Stossel appears to be pretty into toilets in general. In 2013, he epically owned any moron who was stupid enough to prefer public provision to private. He tweeted: “It’s intuitive to think public is better than private. #ThinkAboutThis: public toilets.”

More recently, Stossel in 2017 eviscerated New York City public officials for spending too much money on public bathrooms and doing oppressive things like allowing the public to comment on how taxpayer funds are spent.

But the cause’s most eloquent exponent is surely Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.). In 2011, during an appliance efficiency hearing, Paul told Kathleen Hogan, then the US Department of Energy deputy assistant secretary on energy efficiency, what we’ve all been thinking: “Frankly, the toilets don’t work in my house. And I blame you, and people like you who want to tell me what I can install in my house, what I can do.” The video of his rant was blasted out to his father’s email list, Good noted, and Rand Paul was praised for “taking the fight to the statists.” Howard Roark crapped.

Yeah I just needs to check inside ya asshole…. Because I mean really who flushes 10 times when they go to the bathroom? Either they have a defective flusher or they have been eating some shit, both literally and figuratively! And this wasn’t the weirdest thing Trump has said either. I’d show what he said about childbirth but surprisingly there’s a lack of articles on it. Does anyone ever tell him to shut up? But he really needs to at some point because every time he opens his mouth he looks foolish, and that’s saying something considering he used to be on a reality show.

President Trump is no stranger to ranting, whether it’s on Twitter, in the White House, at a rally, or on the phone with Fox & Friends. He’s ranted about “fake news,” Hillary Clinton, and the alleged need for a border wall. But his latest tirade made it clear the president has his head in the gutter. And that’s not just a figure of speech.

At the White House on Friday during a meeting about small businesses, the president of the United States took a break from denouncing the impeachment inquiry to order a federal review of water efficiency standards. In his view, current conservation standards are taking a toll on the public. “People,” he said, “are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.”

He didn’t stop there. New homes, Trump said, have become so environmentally friendly that “you can’t wash your hands, practically.” As a result, he said, he’s “looking very strongly at sinks and showers.” He said he directed the EPA to “open up the standard,” though it’s unclear which specific water efficiency standard he was talking about.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Beer Mystery
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Corporate takeovers are a story as old as time. Usually it’s the larger corporations that take over the smaller corporations. But this is a head-scratching merger that has people talking and is turning an entire industry upside down. In the craft beer world, one of the largest names and most easily recognizable is a brewery from San Diego called Ballast Point. In recent years the Ballast Point name has become big business after a merger with mega brewing conglomerate Constellation Brands. So how does one of the largest breweries get taken over by a small brewery from Chicago? This is a merger for the ages.

It's a reversal of the familiar scenario in which a big-name craft brewer is bought out by a multinational "big beer" consortium. This time, the brewer has been bought back from an international consortium.

On Tuesday, Kings & Convicts Brewing Co. announced they had purchased Ballast Point Brewing Co. from Constellation Brands. Constellation is a Chicago-based company that owns American rights to Mexican brands including Modelo, Corona and Pacifico. Ballast Point, founded in 1996, was a darling of the California craft brewing scene, known for their line of Sculpin West Coast IPAs, and was bought out in 2015 for $1 billion. The mythical "synergy" of the merger never materialized, and Constellation began cutting personnel and closing locations.

Kings & Convicts was founded in 2017 by CEO Brendan Watters, a native of Australia, and brewmaster and COO Chris Bradley of Great Britain. It's estimated they will have produced 660 barrels of beer by the end of 2019, while Ballast Point will have made 200,000 barrels at several production breweries and taprooms. If closed, the deal will include Ballast Point's taproom on Chicago's Fulton Market District, and California facilities in Downtown Disney/Anaheim, Long Beach, Miramar, Little Italy, and San Diego.

“We look forward to engaging the community and getting a connection back to the local markets through our distributor partners, on and off-premise retailers and our dedicated salesforce ambassadors,” said Bradley in Kings & Convicts' news release “Ballast Point has well-established R&D programs and we want to continue fostering that innovation and experimentation by listening to our consumers and serving specialty and local beers in each market.”

Except there’s no such thing as free beer sir. The Ballast Point Brewery has tasitng rooms all over the country including a shiny new one at the Disneyland resort in California. So how did an upstart brewery usurp one of the largest breweries in the world? And also how did they have a billion dollars to throw at it when nobody has ever heard of them?

Fresh off a family trip to Rome, Chris Bradley sat down with Brendan Watters, his partner at Kings & Convicts, a little Illinois brewery. Anything happen, Bradley asked, during his vacation?

“We’re buying Ballast Point,” Watters announced.

“What?” Bradley sputtered. “How?”

That exchange occurred in a Chicago suburb this summer. Similar scenes played out across the U.S. last week, when Constellation Brands — Ballast Point’s current owner — and Kings & Convicts announced the deal. Really? How could an obscure two-year-old brewery from Highwood, Ill., (2018 production: 550 barrels of beer) land an industry icon (2018 production: 320,000 barrels) once worth $1 billion?

The full answer is cloaked in nondisclosure statements, but a partial explanation involves 9/11, golf and a desperate seller. New York-based Constellation was eager to dump Ballast Point, with its plummeting sales and a trademark value — a measure of its worth outside of its assets — in free fall, cratering from $223 million in January 2018 to $17 million in October 2019.

Yes, “what” and “how” are two very valid questions. But neither of them are answered here, and they most certainly won’t be for the foreseeable future. Mega mergers in the beer industry are nothing new – look at InBev and MillerCoorsSBA and all of their various mergers and acquisitions. But usually this type of thing happens in reverse. The bigger brands are usually the ones who takeover the smaller brands.

Craft Brew Alliance (CBA) chief executive Andy Thomas likes to use metaphors when explaining complicated scenarios.

For proof, look no further than this week’s announcement that Anheuser-Busch InBev had agreed to wholly-acquire the Portland, Oregon-headquartered maker of Kona, Widmer, and Redhook beers, among others.

Speaking to Forbes, Thomas likened the two companies’ 25-year history to a somewhat complicated long-term relationship.

“We’ve all been through ups and downs in a relationship,” he said. “Sometimes, you get so used to each other and you don’t realize what makes the relationship unique.”

Before we dive into the backstory of these two companies, let’s examine some of the highlights of this week’s merger announcement.

As part of the cash transaction, which is expected to close in 2020 following a mandatory federal antitrust review, A-B will purchase the remaining 68.8% of CBA that it doesn’t already own for $16.50 per share. That works out to approximately $221 million, excluding about $130 million in liabilities that A-B will also be responsible for.

That is a really large beer there, sir! But with such mega mergers as Ballast Point, and recently Boston Beer and Dogfish Head, and Anheuser Busch’s purchase of Platform Brewery, it seems that the pocketbooks are opening back up for craft brewery, and just like the recent mega mergers, this could be a game changer for the industry once again. Just ask craft brewery insides.

When I paid a visit to Dogfish Head Craft Brewery in early 2016, one of the questions I asked founder Sam Calagione was why so many of his beer peers were selling out to large conglomerates like Anheuser-Busch InBev and Molson Coors. His response: “It was inevitable.”

“The patriarchs and matriarchs of our [craft] movement are coming to retirement age,” said Calagione, as we stood in his brewery in Milton, Delaware. “I don’t fault those that are choosing to sell the majority or all of their company.” Calagione had sold a 15% stake in his company to private equity firm LNK Partners in 2015 to bring more business acumen to Dogfish, but told me that he was holding out on a full sale so his children—then aged 13 and 16—could one day potentially run the business he and his wife Mariah built.

Inevitability came earlier than Calagione anticipated. On Thursday, Dogfish Head announced it would merge with Sam Adams brewer Boston Beer Company in a $300 million cash-and-stock transaction, combining two of the nation’s top 15 craft brewers to better take on competition from Big Beer and a crowded craft beer landscape that’s put pressure on the smaller players’ sales. Calagione has agreed to take a seat on Boston Beer’s board of directors.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Is it OK to mock someone’s faith? Well I do ask because we are an entity that essentially is designed to mock faith. But we only mock faith in general. We never attack or question one specific person’s faith. Because our brothers and sisters do it on the right all the time, which makes them horrible people. We don’t question or attack, we just mock the shit out of them! And we also mock their unrelenting faith in the unholy, ungodly Dark One, who currently holds the highest office in the land, and whose name shall **NOT** be spoken in my church! But really the people who hold such strong beliefs in favor of the Dark One are those who should be mocked and ridiculed profusely! People like this guy:

End Times broadcaster, rabid anti-Semite, and radical right-wing conspiracy theorist Rick Wiles kicked off his “TruNews” broadcast last night by announcing that he has begun stockpiling ammunition in response to yesterday’s announcement by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that the House would begin drafting articles of impeachment against President Donald Trump.

Wiles, who recently warned that “there is going to be violence in America” if Trump is removed from office, said that Pelosi’s announcement has forced millions of Americans to start preparing for the possibility of civil war.

“Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff, Jerry Nadler, Eliot Engel, Brad Sherman, and Charles Schumer are compelling calm, law-abiding, middle-class American citizens to prepare for the unthinkable: a violent civil war in America fought between the pagan left and the religious right,” Wiles said. “Their actions are compelling me and others to immediately get ready to defend our families, our personal lives, and our properties if violence erupts in America over the impeachment and ouster of President Trump.”

“The Democrats are forcing me to stockpile ammunition, food, water, and medical supplies to defend my family, home, and church,” he added. “This is a bad dream that won’t end, and it’s brought to you by the Trump haters.”

“I strongly encourage you to take immediate action to prepare your home and family for the worst,” Wiles advised his audience. “Don’t foolishly dismiss my warning that a revolution could erupt, or widespread civil disruptions, even civil war.”

Now I know that in our good book it says that “JUDGE NOT LEST YE BE JUDGED!”. Well, since all these people do is judge others, then we will do the same! If you watch the news right now, you know that impeachment is all over the TV and the right really needs to pull their heads out of their asses. And since they pick the pettiest battles to fight, is it any wonder why we’re in the mess that we’re in?

A group of President Donald Trump’s evangelical cheerleaders worshiped at the White House and prayed with Trump in the Oval Office Friday. Among the attendees were White House spiritual adviser Paula White, pastor Robert Jeffress, and congressional candidate Sean Feucht.

Jeffress appeared on Lou Dobb’s Fox Business show Friday evening to rave about Trump. “I’ve never seen the president more upbeat or positive or focused than he was today,” Jeffress said. “And look, this impeachment farce, it isn’t paralyzing the president⁠. It is energizing him.” Jeffress said that “the longer the Democrats want to drag out this impeachment farce, the larger his margin of reelection is going to be in 2020. The American people are with this president.”

Dobbs asked Jeffress about the House Speaker Nancy Pelosi citing her Catholic faith in her response to a reporter from the right-wing Sinclair Broadcast Group who asked if she hated Trump. While Dobbs listened with a smirk, Jeffress mocked Pelosi’s faith:

Dobbs and Jeffress went from suggesting that Pelosi isn’t Catholic enough to slamming Pope Francis for comparing Trump to the biblical character King Herod, which Dobbs said was “pretty nasty stuff.”

“Herod wanted to extinguish Christmas by getting rid of Christ before the first Christmas,” said Jeffress. “President Trump celebrates Christmas, has brought it back to the forefront of our country, and that means bringing Christ back as well.”

Really, the unholy Dark One celebrates Christmas? He’s a real life Ebaneezer Scrooge! And really enough with that “Keep Christ In Christmas” crap, it’s been beaten to death by now! If you guys want to fight a war, you’re going to be the only one who’s fighting it. Really because with friends like these, who really needs enemies?

Pastor Augusto Perez of The Appearance Ministries appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast last month, where he declared that anyone who opposes President Donald Trump must engage in fasting and prayer “because something is wrong in you.”

“This is not political, this is spiritual,” Perez said. “If you hate this man, if you hate this president, if there is something in you that you hates this man, I strongly counsel you to go on a fast-and-prayer and seek the Lord with all your heart because something is wrong in you. You have been deluded, you have been blindfolded, and the enemy is having his way with you.”

“If you still hate Trump, forget about the man himself—the personality—forget about that and focus on what he stands for and what he has done and what he is doing,” Perez added. “He is doing our Father’s agenda. He is tearing down the pedophile rings, human trafficking, drug smuggling. He is also coming against abortion, he wants to get rid of abortion, all of it. He has already defunded Planned Parenthood and they are fighting him tooth and nail. He has appointed many constitutional judges and two Supreme Court justices. He is bringing this nation back to righteousness, or he is trying to. He has given Christians a voice, he is protecting the Christians, he’s protecting the churches. He is stopping all these Muslim terrorists from coming in. He is doing the will of the Father in this country.”

Yes, humbug indeed! The people whoa re indoctrinated into the cult couldn’t be any crazier especially in this time of year. Really, who watches stuff like this? It’s bad enough that we have to put up with these people here, I can’t imagine running to them in real life. History existed before the unholy Dark One and it will most certainly exist after. The sky is not falling like they would have you believe.

Pastor Johnny Enlow, a leading proponent of Seven Mountains Dominionism, appeared on a MorningStar Ministries webinar last week, where he recounted a vision in which he claims that God told him that he was going to use President Donald Trump as “a hinge of the ages” to break human history into two eras: “Before Trump” and “After Trump.”

Enlow said that prior to the 2016 election, he asked God who would win, at which point God showed him a vision of Trump wearing a red, white, and blue bandana while sitting on a Triumph motorcycle on the top of a mountain.

“So, in an instant, it wasn’t hard for me to figure out what was being said,” Enlow said. “The first thing [God] said is, ‘He is going to save you from things you don’t know you need to be saved from yet.’ And then the Lord progressively began to speak regarding that and he said, ‘His time in the presidency is going to be a hinge of the ages and it’ll be known as Before Trump and After Trump because of the way I am going to use him. I’m using him as a trump card, but I’m the trump card player. Your nation will be known as Before Trump and After Trump.’ And he said, ‘The nations, the whole world will be known as Before Trump and After Trump.’ The Lord said, ‘I’m really not interested your all’s vote this time, I’m doing it. I usually give you all that option, this time I’m not. This is a rescue operation from Heaven.”

I just can’t… words cannot express how insane they are. There you go. Next week we’re going to delve into the right wing War On Christmas and look forward to what we have in store for 2020~! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Unpopular Opinions: Billie Eilish & Van Halen
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Look people, stop freaking out about the fact that Billie Eilish doesn’t know who Van Halen is. Hell at this point I’m not even sure that Eddie Van Halen knows who Van Halen is. Hey I watched The Dirt! Yeah that’s what a lifetime of hookers and blow will get you. Watch any movie from the 80s, doesn’t matter if the references are from Ferris Bueller or Beetlejuice, you will find plenty of dead references that don’t apply to a society in 2019. Dead references are as old as time itself. Popular culture comes and goes. There's people being born today who will have no idea what the hell a Sears or a K-Mart are! The people who are freaking out about Billie Eilish not knowing who Van Halen is, are probably coming from the same parents who started freaking out when their kids didn’t know who Led Zeppelin was. But here’s the thing – Billie Eilish is 17! It’s OK for 17 year olds not to know 40 year old bands! Can we calm down and pull each other’s heads out of our collective asses please?

Is there anything more tedious than a music snob? Apparently not, given the rush to pile on 17-year-old Billie Eilish earlier this week, and all because she hadn’t heard of the rock band Van Halen.

The revelation took place on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, where the late-night host decided to quiz Eilish on whether she’d heard of artists such as Madonna (she had) and Van Halen (she hadn’t). Upon learning she was blithely unaware of the Seventies rockers, Kimmel’s reaction was one of horror, despair, and glee. “I’m gonna start crying,” he exclaimed, perhaps acknowledging that Eilish’s knowledge gap was actually highlighting his own age. “You’re making me look so dumb,” Eilish fretted in return.

While this was an innocent enough exchange that riffed on the age-old tradition of intergenerational repartee (“young people don’t know how easy they have it”, “old people don’t understand technology”, etc), the comments about Eilish online were harsher. There’s a particular type of person who relishes any opportunity to highlight the perceived ignorance of younger generations. Yet there’s absolutely no reason why Eilish, or anyone her age, should give a fleeting moment’s thought to a rock band who carry little to no weight in the 21st century. Why does she need to prove herself, when she’s become the biggest success story the music industry has seen in years? Clearly, she knows something these older critics don’t.

Besides, had Eilish told Kimmel she was a massive Van Halen fan, hardcore fans would likely have revolted, insisting there was no way she could be serious – she’s too young. There was a similar reaction when Justin Bieber was spotted wearing a Metallica T-shirt in 2015. He had no right to like them, hardcore fans decreed.

Shut up!!!! Take that article’s advice – there’s nothing worse than a snob! These are the same kinds of people who blame bands for being too political in 2019 when they’ve been political since the early 1990s! Like Anti-Flag or Pearl Jam, hey there was a time before Trump and social media existed. But you know what enough of my rambling let’s play the clip.

And here’s where there’s nothing worse than being a snob. I’m a Gen Xer, and I’m totally OK with all of this. But here’s where music snobs need to shut the hell up. People get old it happens. When the young generation doesn’t know the old generation’s music, it’s OK! Be lame and be proud of it! Until then shut up!

Today in “can we all please leave Billie Eilish TF alone,” the 17-year-old singer is being dragged by boomers for not knowing who the band Van Halen is. Which, no offense to Van Halen, but WHY DOES ANYONE EVEN CAAAAARE.

The moment in question went down on Jimmy Kimmel Live when Jimmy asked Billie to “name a Van Halen” and she responded, “Who?”

The audience was shook that Billie doesn’t know who the famous band is (again, she is only 17!), and Twitter wasted no time dragging her. But those tweets are lame, so here’s a couple from everyone mocking them instead:

Meanwhile, Wolf Van Halen chimed in, writing, “If you haven’t heard of @BillieEilish, go check her out. She’s cool. If you haven’t heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They’re cool too. Music is supposed to bring us together, not divide us. Listen to what you want and don’t shame others for not knowing what you like.”

And Nine Inch Nails art director Rob Sheridan also chimed in, saying, “RE: This Billie Eilish/Van Halen thing, honestly, it’s extremely good that hair metal finally doesn’t matter anymore. We worked extremely hard to kill hair metal in the ’90s, thank you teens for giving it an unceremonious ‘okay, boomer.’ Imagine being a teen in the ’90s and people being shocked that you didn’t know or care about Perry Como. Because THAT’S HOW OLD VAN HALEN IS NOW.”

OK boomer. And yes thank you Rob Sheridan for saying what needed to be said on this subject! Hair metal is a dead genre! The days of doing gratuitous amounts of coke and blow off hookers’ stomachs is no longer a thing. Yeah if you want to relive your glory days then go listen to SiruisXM’s Hair Metal station and leave the rest of us alone! Shit, even Eddie Van Halen’s own son supports Ms. Eilish’s claims!

Don't shame people who don't know Van Halen.

That's the message straight from Eddie Van Halen's son.

Wolfgang Van Halen, who also plays bass in his dad's band, is taking up for current music phenom Billie Eilish.

Eilish, 17, caused a stir recently during an appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live."

Kimmel asked her to name some members of the famed band.

"Who?," she said. "No, who is that?"

"I'm gonna start crying," Kimmel joked.

The internet also had feelings.

Yeah seriously stop talking. Even Eddie Van Halen himself has defended Billie Eilish in saying that it’s totally OK – and as I’ve said dead references are dead references. Doesn’t matter the time or the place, and I’m sure your grandparents freaked out when you didn’t know who Dean Martin was. What? He’s the guy who sings “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie”. Nobody? Well, you’re not alone! I must say though I do love Smash Mouth’s response:

Billie Eilish has been defended by Van Halen after the singer acknowledged she hadn't heard of the popular 1980s rock band.

Jimmy Kimmel asked the "Bad Guy" singer on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" on November 22 whether she could name a member of Van Halen, to which a puzzled Eilish responded, "Who?"

On Twitter on Monday, the band's 28-year-old bassist, Wolfgang Van Halen, the son of the founding member Eddie, told fans to check out the 17-year-old singer.

"If you haven't heard of @billieeilish, go check her out. She's cool. If you haven't heard of @VanHalen, go check them out. They're cool too," he tweeted.

Wolfgang Van Halen also told people who had criticized Eilish after the Kimmel interview not to "shame others for not knowing what you like."

The '90s rock band Smash Mouth, popular for its songs "All Star" and "I'm a Believer," also defended Eilish, tweeting: "We grew up listening to #VanHalen and we're old as fck so why would @billieeilish know who they are? #NoDiss."

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone we’re almost done for the year and I really need a drink!

So of course you know by now that the idea of this segment is that we know never to mix politics and alcohol, and we need a break from all the insanity, and also inanity, that’s going on in the world. And while we’re imbibing, the idea is to talk about anything other than politics. This week – we’re going to talk about a really traditional German holiday that goes back to the 14th century. And thanks to a movie that came out a few years ago, it’s gaining traction. That holiday is called “Krampus”. And thanks to the movie it’s being celebrated all over the world. And since everything sounds more sinister in German, Krampusnacht, is now a thing. So tell me bartender, what goes well with Krampus? Egg nog with the blood of a sacrificial goat? Eh… I think I’ll just take some regular egg nog thanks! And don’t skimp on the brandy! What is Krampus? Let’s start off with this story.

Be careful this December. Santa’s not the only one watching.

Krampus, Santa’s evil twin, is watching too.

What’s up with that?

Krampus is the horned, hairy demonic beast of European folklore who punishes naughty children at Christmastime. Instead of a bundle of toys, he has birch sticks to swat the misbehaving rascals he hauls down to the underworld.

Dec. 5 is Krampus Night, or Krampusnacht as they say in Europe, where the creepster is a fixture on greeting cards, candy tins and at yuletide events. It’s an excuse for grown men to dress up as Krampus, drink a bunch of alcohol, and run through the streets frightening children.

Around here, sightings are rare.

Krampus was in the fur in November at Oddmall: Emporium of the Weird, a bazaar of the bizarre held twice a year at the Evergreen State Fairgrounds in Monroe.

Well it’s like Christmas, except everyone is watching horror movies, everyone’s on the naughty list, and everyone is OK with that! And also if your December music soundtrack is missing some good old fashioned death metal, don’t worry because Krampus has you covered! Come on, this is the holiday that has even the most hardcore death metal bands like Cannibal Corpse singing some good old fashioned holly jolly Christmas magic!

For plenty of people, Christmas is more a burden than a joy. While the message of the season is supposed to be one of generosity, togetherness, and warmth, the commercialization of the holiday and the way many devout believers behave during the Christmas season make the holiday an exhausting farce. This is especially true of metal fans, whose love of old pagan traditions and extreme imagery usually feels at odd with the Coke-guzzling Santas and all-white nativity scenes present during Christmas time. More than one hesher has received a sweater with a snowman on it from their disapproving parents and wished the whole holiday would burn to the ground.

But now, an ancient spirit of has returned to the public eye: Krampus, the Bavarian Christmas demon and companion of Santa Claus, who lashes and terrifies naughty children. A leering, goat-legged reflection of jolly old Saint Nick, Krampus represents the draconian seriousness with which Christmas was once celebrated. And now, as a pop-culture figure, he’s given metal fans a new icon with which they can blaze into the holidays.

It’s only fitting that Christmas has a demonic entity of its own. Most of the traditions we consider synonymous with the holiday — decorating trees, garlands of holly and pine, gathering around the hearth — are pagan in origin, borrowed from the Germanic festival of Yule. In fact, Christ’s birth is believed to have actually happened in May, but its celebration was moved to combat, and eventually assimilate, the lively pre-Christian festivals that threatened to keep pagans from converting to the church. The gods of these old religions, meanwhile — figures like Pan, Odin, and Hecate — were recast as demons and monsters. One of those, the archaic forest spirit that Wiccans refer to as the Horned God, eventually evolved into the figure we now know as Krampus.

Mmm that’s some good egg nog there, Steve! Steve is my bartender and he’s been the bartender since we started doing this segment. Well if we extrapolate this, this means that Krampus is a lump of coal in your stocking. But since everyone who is celebrating the holiday, is doing so voluntarily, do we even really need that naughty list? And if you want to celebrate Krampus there’s celebrations all over the world now!

Terra Blue looks to establish a new downtown Greensboro holiday tradition, for the pagans and the persecuted, with a visit from Krampus on Dec. 7.

“Krampus thinks he hasn’t been given a fair shake and he’s demanding his job back. Come and support him in his effort, and get a photo with him, too,” reads the event description.

Terra Blue, a shop for “coffee, beads and otherworldly goods,” is owned and operated by married-duo Sarah and Allen McDavid, and serves as an outlet for pagan cultures and new age practices, hosting daily readings and astrological events.

Following the success of their Samhain Soiree in October (a public component of their three-day pagan conference called “the Gathering”), Terra Blue hopes to establish more recurring traditions with a nontraditional flare.

“This will be our first year hosting Krampus,” said Allen McDavid, the man behind the various Ribfests throughout the state and the Carolina Caledonian Scottish festival in Fayetteville.

“I’ve wanted to do it for a long time, but the other events I produced kept me swamped,” he explained. “Since learning of Krampus, I’ve been interested in the cultural and religious significance of the character. From my perspective, it seems clear that he is ‘The Horned One’ from the European Pagan Pantheon, demonized by the Christian Church, as has been the case for pagan deities for the last 2,000 years.”

Chug! Chug! Chug! Basically, think of Krampus as Christmas, but celebrated by the Addams Family and the Collins family from Dark Shadows. You still got your holly jollys and your ho ho hos, only they’re carefully balanced out with some demons and monsters, Annabelles and Chuckys. It’s part the holiday you know and love, and part horror show. But if you’re going to celebrate, just don’t do it the way the Austrians do. It’s meant to bring, um… joy (?) to people, not scare the children!

Goat-horned half-demons with scraggy coats of fur, lolling tongues and threatening bundles of birch branches are no one’s idea of a welcome guest on a winter’s night.

In Austria, however, the figure of the Krampus has been part of pre-Christmas folklore for centuries, with men in costumes roaming the streets to scare children and grownups from the end of November to the middle of December.

Yet in recent years the Krampus has developed to become an altogether very modern bogeyman, with a rising number of complaints about the demons acting in a drunkenly and disorderly fashion once they have donned their fearsome masks.

In Carinthia, police recorded a number of violent incidents this year in the run-up to the official “Krampus day” on 5 December, with one person being hit in the face with a birch and an 11-year-old child being left with bloody cut on their thigh.

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 17: Goodbye Kamala
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! The next election is shaping up to be about as messy as the impeachment trial is going. We have promised to take a look at all the candidates, issues, ups and downs to keep everything relevant about the 2020 election going into it, and we are approximately 3 weeks away from it officially being the calendar year 2020. Which means that it is going to be an election year. Which means that conservatives are going to be flinging mud faster than you can bat an eye. And it’s also a leap year so we get an extra day of this madness! Yay! But first, sadly, the Kamala Harris campaign has come to an end. No this isn’t Trumper Games because that madness happens on the other side. This is goodbye.

Sen. Kamala Harris ended her 2020 presidential campaign on Tuesday, an abrupt departure for a candidate who was once seen as a leading contender for the Democratic nomination.
The California Democrat told her senior staff of the decision Tuesday morning, and later sent an email to supporters and released a video on Twitter.

"To you my supporters, my dear supporters, it is with deep regret -- but also with deep gratitude -- that I am suspending our campaign today," Harris said in the video.

"But I want to be clear with you: I am still very much in this fight," Harris continued. "And I will keep fighting every day for what this campaign has been about. Justice for the people. All the people."

Harris' exit from the race is a precipitous fall for a candidate who launched her campaign to high expectations. The senator has struggled for months to move her low poll numbers and said Tuesday that financial pressures led her to end her bid. The lack of support and money led to internal squabbling in the closing months of the campaign, campaign sources told CNN, all of which contributed to her inability to stay in the race.

Well that’s probably how we should be saying goodbye to the Harris campaign. But how did we get here and what could this mean for the remaining candidates? We’re you know just a few short weeks away from Iowa and the straw poll, and Harris had a grand entrance but her campaign turned out to be a sparkler. The bad thing is the party of diversity is turning into the exact opposite of that going into 2020!

When California Senator Kamala Harris announced she was suspending her campaign for president on Tuesday, she was quickly met with an outpouring of support and admiration. Many praised the historic nature of her candidacy; she was seeking to become the first black woman to win a major party’s presidential nomination. Others mourned the loss of her particular perspective in the Democratic primary field.

It was just the kind of enthusiasm Harris had been struggling to find the day before—when she was still running for president. Harris’s surprising early exit from the race reflects the complicated racial and gender dynamics of the 2020 campaign: in a year when the Democratic Party says it wants to prioritize building a multi-racial coalition of voters to defeat Donald Trump, critics say it has largely overlooked primary candidates that represent that diversity to focus on almost exclusively white politicians before voting has even started.

In a moment that seemed to embody this dynamic, former Vice President Joe Biden appeared to forget about Harris when he claimed during the November debate that he had the support of the only black woman ever elected to the Senate, referring to former Senator Carol Moseley Braun. “The other one is here,” Harris shot back from her podium, before laughing along with the audience.

When the remaining Democrats next take the debate stage in Los Angeles this month, there’s a real chance that no people of color will be on it. While candidates like Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, entrepreneur Andrew Yang and Sen. Cory Booker still have time to qualify, the situation is not where many Democrats hoped to find themselves, particularly in comparison to, say, the Republican debate at this time in 2015, which featured a woman, a black candidate and two Cuban-Americans.

Sigh… I’m really hoping things will turn around for the election because we have to beat Donald Trump and send the GOP packing. But the election is turning out to be just as crazy as impeachment. So the question on the table is who could take over for California and the rest of the country now that Harris has dropped out? Well there’s plenty of possibilities.

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said on Sunday that his loved ones were disheartened by Sen. Kamala Harris’ (D-Calif.) decision to drop out of the 2020 presidential race, and he blamed money in politics for her departure.

“Kamala Harris stopped her campaign because of the campaign finance rules and the fact that she couldn’t do what we see billionaires do in this race, which is flooding ads to jack up their polling numbers and get in,” he told ABC News’ “This Week.”

“There are a lot of people hurt this week, including members of my family and friends who are supporting me,” Booker added, praising Harris as an “incredibly talented African American woman” who has “broken glass ceilings at every point of her career.”

Harris withdrew on Tuesday, leaving an all-white set of candidates who have so far qualified for the next debate on Dec. 19. None of the remaining candidates of color ― Booker, businessman Andrew Yang, Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii), former Housing and Urban Development Secretary Julián Castro and former Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick ― has yet made the cut.

In an email to supporters, Harris cited financial troubles as the death knell of her 2020 bid.

But here’s the thing, Cory, don’t convince Kamala to stay in the election, if anything there might be something positive to come from this. What that is, we’re not sure. But the bottom line is that you can’t overlook this exit because as we’ve seen before, elections do have consequences. And we need to keep damn sure that we’re on top of things heading into the new year. Do you want another term of this madness? I know I don’t!

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said Iowa voters, not big money, should have determined whether Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) was able to remain in the presidential race.

“Iowa voters should have the right to choose," he said on ABC’s “This Week."

The presidential candidate criticized the role “big money” plays in politics and how he said money forced Harris to withdraw from the race.

“And so, the Democratic Party which makes a right critique that this -- we should be stopping the influence of big money in politics,” he said.

Booker on Harris dropping out: 'Iowa voters should have the right to choose'
© Greg Nash

Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) said Iowa voters, not big money, should have determined whether Sen. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.) was able to remain in the presidential race.

“Iowa voters should have the right to choose," he said on ABC’s “This Week."

The presidential candidate criticized the role “big money” plays in politics and how he said money forced Harris to withdraw from the race.

“And so, the Democratic Party which makes a right critique that this -- we should be stopping the influence of big money in politics,” he said.

Booker, making a historical comparison, said John Kerry was able to save his campaign in 2004 by loaning himself $5 million while Harris did not have that option.

ABC's George Stephanopoulos pushed back on Booker’s claim of billionaire influence in the race saying the four frontrunners, former Vice President Joe Biden, Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg, are billionaires.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

For our final Keeping Up With The Candidates of 2019, we’re going to take a look at what you can expect going into the new year and it’s an election year!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Hu[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a really awesome band hailing from Ulanbataar, Mongolia. Their debut album is called “The Gereg”. Playing their song “Shoog Shoog”, give it up for The Hu!

Thank you USC! We are finally wrapping this whole thing up with our 2019 year in review! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Shrine Auditorium, USC, Los Angeles, CA
Special Thanks To: USC
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 11, 2019, 06:00 PM (4 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

President Donald Trump on Friday had a lot to say about toilets, sinks and showers.

The President claimed Americans are flushing their toilets "10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once" and argued that they are having difficulty with washing their hands in what appeared to be a tangent about low-flow sinks and toilets.

"We have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms where you turn the faucet on -- and in areas where there's tremendous amounts of water, where the water rushes out to sea because you could never handle it, and you don't get any water," the President said during a roundtable with small business leaders about deregulatory actions.

"You turn on the faucet and you don't get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out," the President continued, lowering his voice as he spoke about the drips. "People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once."

I'm pretty sure that's a live look in at what Trump thinks people actually do in the bathroom! And to be fair, Trump is setting the American Standard for presidents!

**audience laughs and applauds**

This week it's our next to last Top 10 of 2019! We delve into Louis Gohmert's head scratching impeachment statement, George Zimmerman sues the Martin family, George Conway fights his wife on social media, we introduce you to a hacker collective known as "Evil Corp", and we tell you why it's OK for Billie Eilish not to know who Van Halen is! Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, how did an upstart brewery from Chicago with 10 employees manage to take over one of the largest craft breweries in the entire world? We will dig past the headlines to find out! Also in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is the Christian right gas lighting this administration? As they seem bent on going full fascist, our resident pastor is going to tell you why you should be terrified of these people. We also have a new "I Need A Drink" in which we're going to get drunk and celebrate the annual German holiday known as Krampus! If you are tired of the Christmas advertising blitz, have we got a holiday for you! Plus in our 2020 voters' guide Keeping Up With The Candidates, we must say goodbye to the Kamala Harris campaign. Another one bites the dust. All this plus some live music from Mongolia's The Hu! Wed at 2:00 PM.

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sat Dec 7, 2019, 04:54 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-21: He's The Bad Guy, Duh Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #7-21: He’s The Bad Guy, Duh Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Stanford? How you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! So we’re almost wrapping up the 2019 season! How about that? Our penultimate show of the year is happening Dec. 11th at USC, then we’re wrapping things up with a nice neat little bow with our 2019 Year In Review edition happening on Dec. 17th at UCLA. So that said, do we have time for the thing? Good. Yeah, is this something we really need right now? So Johnny Depp is producing a musical based on Michael Jackson’s glove. I mean… did he not see Finding Neverland? Is he not aware that this could potentially be an incredibly bad idea? I mean we’re living in a world right now where the truth is being told about people we once regarded as heroes… although let’s face it, Michael Jackson never really was a hero. But did he really think this was a good idea? And I can’t believe any sane producer would allow this to go through. Even worse is the name – “For The Love Of A Glove”. Yes, that’s the title they went with. You can’t fault them for putting out a product and this will probably fold faster than a sequined glove straight out of the dry cleaner, but really, we do have this new thing called “Google” that you could use to look up stuff based on Michael Jackson. Yeah that’s probably not a good idea either. OK enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first this is the time of year that really sucks because all our favorite talk shows are on vacation. So instead I will play this clip from the now defunct Jim Jefferies Show where he discusses online data privacy:

There’s a lot of insane interviews this week, and we do mean a lot. In the number one slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, @realDonaldTrump (1). And he has taken ICE to some dangerous and scary new levels, especially when he sets up a fake university in Michigan for the purpose of rounding up illegal immigrants, that also surprisingly doesn’t have his name on it. In the second slot this week is also @realDonaldTrump (2) and while he was going off on his, well, whatever passes for “physique” in Miami, Lisa Page was giving an interview that could potentially be a huge hit to the Trump train. At slot #3 is the #BeBest Campaign (3) which is falling apart at the seams. Melania got booed in Baltimore for promoting her #BeBest campaign, while Donald Trump Jr. is throwing a temper tantrum over his book, ironically titled “Triggered”. In slot #4 this week is Kid Rock (4), or should we call him at this point “Kid Rock Bottom”. Ah, see what I did there? And you can’t tell me that he didn’t hit rock bottom after getting kicked out of his own bar this week. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, and while the rest of the country takes off Thanksgiving, retail is hard at work bringing you the Black Friday bargains that you blow your money on, but what’s it like working when the rest of us have it off? We will find out! In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and is the President really the chosen one? Our resident pastor breaks down Rick Perry’s bizarre interview, and well, he’s got some thoughts. Taking the 7th slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – actor Sascha Baron Cohen (“Borat”) claims that if the holocaust happened today, Facebook and Twitter would help escalate the propaganda, and well, we’ll say that he’s not wrong. At slot #8 this week is a new edition of “NO!” – so John Schnatter (8), the Papa John behind Papa John’s, gave a greasy, cheese filled interview with the Fox affiliate in his hometown of Louisville, and let’s say that he has an extremely terrible case of the meat sweats! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is our special Black Friday edition of People Are Dumb, because idiocy doesn’t take a holiday and neither do we! Finally this week in our 2020 voters’ guide “Keeping Up With The Candidates” (10), is Pete Buttigieg a racist? After an insane Op Ed appeared in the Washington Post, we will break it down to find the truth! And the palate cleanser for all this, we have a live performance from the legendary Pixies! Buy their new album “Beneath The Eyrie” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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It’s no secret that hate and white nationalism are fueling Trump’s immigration policies. We covered this a few weeks ago when one of Trump’s favorite punching bags, Minnesota rep Ilhan Omar, called out Stephen Miller for his white nationalism (see: [link: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212711400 | Top 10 #7-20] ) and they found out that he is indeed a Nazi. Well, this might be a step toward going full Nazi, and you never, ever go full Nazi. It turns out that the Trump administration – in a no way at all shocking move, but a certifiably one at that, setup a fake university with the sole intent of rounding up immigrants. Yes, just remember that when you see the Springfield Heights Institute Of Technology, it’s not a university that you should be applying for!

Undercover US Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have been operating a fake university designed to lure in immigrants seeking to obtain student visas fraudulently — but the students are claiming they are the ones who have been deceived.

ICE has arrested about 250 students at the University of Farmington in Farmington Hills, Michigan, for violating the terms of their visas, which mandate that they be enrolled full-time at a federally accredited educational institution while they complete their studies, an ICE spokesperson said Wednesday.

The University of Farmington, which ICE agents opened in 2015 to weed out fraudsters, did not qualify because it wasn’t a real educational institution: Although ICE advertised the university as offering graduate STEM courses, it did not have any teachers, curriculum, classes, or other educational activities. Its primary selling point, prosecutors say, is a ticket to an F-1 student visa — at the cost of $2,500 per quarter for graduate programs, plus an average $1,000 per month in fees, according to the Detroit Free Press.

Students on F-1 visas can remain in the US legally while they complete their studies and travel freely outside the country. After graduation, those students are eligible to apply for H-1B skilled worker visas if an American employer offers them a job in certain fields.

Well that may be, but Trump has no remorse or dignity, or anything that makes him human. He’s the bad guy, duh!! Ah yes, my second Billie Eilish reference in more than a couple of weeks! And in case you’re wondering – oh it gets worse! So much worse! So it turns out that the people who ICE hired to catch the fraudsters were in fact fraudsters themselves! Can we really pretend to be shocked by anything this administration is doing at this point? Anything?

As has been widely reported, U.S. Immigration & Customs Enforcement (ICE) set up a fake university to snare foreign students they believed were trying to stay in the country illegally. The fake university, The University of Farmington in Michigan, collected thousands of dollars in tuition from the students but held no actual classes. The students had come into the United States legally under F-1 visas and needed to stay enrolled in school to keep those visas.

ICE recruited hundreds of these students to Farmington and then arrested them for violating the terms of their visas, which mandate that they be enrolled full-time at a federally accredited educational institution while they complete their studies. The tricky part is that it is unclear why the students were enrolling in Farmington instead of a legitimate university.

The federal government says that the sole purpose of the students was to commit immigration fraud. Since the school offered no actual classes, the students must have realized that Farmington was fraudulent. The students say they were entrapped. The university appeared on the Homeland Security website as a legitimate university. And, while Farmington was created under the Obama Administration, the Trump Administration upped the ante by actually paying recruiters to pitch Farmington to students in danger of deportation.

As for the government’s argument that the students should have realized that the university was fake since there were no classes, it turns out that at least some of the students were suspicious and were trying to find out what was going on. But they were given the run around by the Farmington “administration.” But who were the “administrators?” Government agents! Furthermore, even students who were only enrolled at Farmington briefly were still arrested by ICE, and held in detention centers sometimes with violent offenders.

That’s one thing that puzzles me about this story – how could the students be so easily duped? Were they that desperate for a degree that they’d apply anywhere? I mean if there’s no classes shouldn’t that be an automatic red flag? I mean the only place that could possibly get away with that is the University Of Phoenix. And that’s of course assuming you have a bad Wifi connection. But this is evil taken to a whole new level.

About 90 additional foreign students at a fake university in metro Detroit created by the Department of Homeland Security have been arrested in recent months.

A total of about 250 students have now been arrested since January on immigration violations by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement as part of a sting operation by federal agents who enticed foreign-born students, mostly from India, to attend the school that marketed itself as offering graduate programs in technology and computer studies, according to ICE officials.

Many of those arrested have been deported, while others are contesting their removals. One has been allowed to stay after being granted lawful permanent resident status by an immigration judge.

The students had arrived legally in the U.S. on student visas, but since the University of Farmington was later revealed to be a creation of federal agents, they lost their immigration status after it was shut down in January. The school was staffed with undercover agents posing as university officials.

Really I don’t even think Bane could get away with something this evil. But if there’s anyone who knows a thing or two about scam foundations, it’s the guy who we currently call president, @realDonaldTrump, he knows scammers, scam businesses, scam universities, because, well, he’s a scammer himself. If you want to see fraud in action, look no further than Trump himself.

Remember Donald Trump’s scam charity? Back in June 2018, the New York attorney general’s office sued the president, all three of his adult children, and the Donald J. Trump Foundation, accusing the charity of “functioning as little more than a checkbook to serve Mr. Trump’s business and political interests,” and of engaging in “a shocking pattern of illegality.” The allegations in the suit included claims that:

$10,000 was spent on a portrait of the president, later found on display at a sports bar at the Trump Doral;

$100,000 was used to settle a legal dispute with the city of Palm Beach, which Trump resolved by contributing the amount to the Fisher House Foundation;

$258,000 was used to settle lawsuits against Trump and his businesses, including $158,000 to the Martin Greenberg Foundation, whose founder sued the Trump National Golf Club after it failed to pay him a promised $1 million for scoring a hole-in-one at a charity golf tournament;

$5,000 was used to advertise Trump Hotels.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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As long as Trump keeps conveying his rah rah MAGA hate rallies, we’ll keep covering them because this is where he unloads his frustrations in front of his adoring fans. Worshipping dear leader is one of the hallmarks of a good cult leader. But why is this being billed as a homecoming rally? Trump is only moving to Florida for the same reason that OJ did and that’s because Florida is one of the few states that doesn’t have asset forfeiture laws. Now save your boos for later. But you can always count on a Trump rally to go off the rails and boy did this one.

President Trump’s raucous Tuesday night rally near Miami, billed by his campaign as a “homecoming” extravaganza, followed his recent decision to move his formal residence from New York to Florida — and underscored the state’s importance to his reelection efforts as he grapples with the impeachment proceedings that threaten his presidency.

Florida is now not only Trump’s home but also what Republicans hope is an emerging GOP bastion. His strategy in the state reflects his broader push to galvanize his core voters ahead of next year’s election by unleashing an incendiary defense of his conduct, be it on Twitter, cable news or in front of thousands.

By rallying a capacity crowd at the 20,000-seat BB&T Center on Tuesday night, Trump tried to demonstrate broad and determined opposition to his impeachment.

The president spoke extensively from center stage about the congressional inquiry, delivering a theatrical play-by-play of this month’s bombshell testimony, mocking former vice president Joe Biden and his son Hunter, and bemoaning the proceedings as “a scam,” “a terrible hoax” and “a witch hunt.”

New shit has come to light man! Oh yeah if you want to see it really go off the rails, wait until you see what he said about his recent health crisis which resulted in him taking a trip to the Walter Reed Medical Center in Virginia. This is where it starts to get really insane. Oh and where’s the Big Lebowski when you need him?

President Donald Trump railed against news media coverage of his recent visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center at a rally in Sunrise, Florida, claiming it had been reported he'd had "a massive, unbelievable heart attack" -- and then adding he has "a gorgeous chest."

The president doubled down on the "gorgeous chest" claim Wednesday morning, tweeting a photo-shopped image of his face superimposed on what appeared to be the chiseled body of fictional boxer Rocky Balboa.

At his "homecoming" rally Tuesday night, Trump assured the crowd of supporters that his unannounced Nov. 17 visit to the medical facility was for a "a very routine physical." But the visit was not disclosed ahead of time, prompting questions about his health.

"They [the media] said he wasn't wearing a tie; this is a sign of a massive heart attack," Trump said, apparently referring to reporters noting he was not wearing a tie, as usual, as he got into his motorcade. "They said, he went into the hospital -- and it's true, I didn't wear a tie -- why would I wear a tie if the first thing they do is say take off your shirt, sir, and show us that gorgeous chest?"

Trump said that he hadn't worn a tie to Walter Reed because he knew he would've been asked to remove it, before continuing to mimic the supposed interaction with his doctors.

I’m pretty sure that’s a live look in on how Trump sees himself! I mean doctors wouldn’t praise his “gorgeous chest”, they’re probably wondering what they can do to get in his heart in the event that he has a massive coronary! Which at this point is more likely to kill him than an assassin ever could. Yes, that went south so fast! Now here’s where you can boo. He of course blames everything on what else? The democrats.

The two diametrically opposed world views of President Donald Trump came together in one place Tuesday: the BB&T Center, where Trump held one of his signature rallies.

Inside, a devoted crowd welcomed home the president, who recently declared himself a Florida resident. Outside, protesters displayed scorn and fury, along with the Baby Trump balloon, the orange-haired inflatable infant clad in a diaper and clutching a cellphone.

Trump didn’t hold back. He whipped the crowd into a chant of “bullshit” when discussing the impeachment charges against him. He took shots at “Sleepy Joe Biden.” He railed against the “corrupt” media. He played up crowd favorites, declaring that he was building his wall. He addressed his health telling the crowd his “gorgeous chest” is just fine.

At one moment, he said he would defend Thanksgiving from anyone who would want to change its name, and he assured his fans he would easily win a second term.

“The crazy Democrats are going down in a landslide and that landslide is going to start right here in the great state of Florida," Trump said.

Wait, the democrats are the crazy ones? What are you smoking here, chief? I suggest that you take a look in the mirror. Because here’s the thing – Trump’s violent rhetoric is leading to real life violence and is actually becoming a public health hazard. Yes, Trump’s rallies are actually becoming a danger to not only your sanity, but to the greater good of public health!

Trump's violent rhetoric on the campaign trail breeds real-life violence, leading to a spike in assaults wherever Trump makes an appearance.

That's the conclusion of a new study, which found that cities experienced an increase in assaults on days when they hosted a Trump campaign rally. There was no corresponding link between the incidence of violence and rallies for Hillary Clinton.

"It appeared to be a phenomenon that’s unique to Donald Trump’s rally,” said Christopher Morrison, a postdoctoral fellow at the University of Pennsylvania and lead author of the study.

The study, published in the journal Epidemiology, looked at data on assaults surrounding 31 rallies in 22 cities for Trump, and 38 rallies in 21 cities for Clinton.

Comparing the number of assaults on the day of the rally to the number on the corresponding day of the week for the four weeks before and after the rally, the researchers found that cities had an average of 2.3 more assaults on the day of a Trump campaign rally than on a typical day.

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[font size="8"]Melania Trump
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Here’s my whole thing – if you are one of the biggest bullies on the planet, you might want to refrain from launching an anti-bullying campaign. Or it could come back to bite you in the ass. And especially when you hold such an event in a city that your husband has attacked relentlessly because reasons, and also racism. But yeah let’s go with racism. And what’s even weirder is that this was billed as an “anti-opioid” event but my favorite part is when they called this a “fight”. Really? What are they fighting and when have they ever given any indication that this is a fight?

Melania Trump was booed by a roomful of students in Baltimore on Tuesday when she took the stage to give a speech about youth opioid use, one of the pillars of her “Be Best” initiative.

A vocal crowd of middle school and high school students erupted in a mix of loud boos and some cheers as the first lady strode across the stage at the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness.

Mrs. Trump smiled through the unpleasant welcome, even as members of the crowd talked over her speech. “I’m in this fight for you, and I’m fighting for you,” Mrs. Trump said. “If you are struggling with addiction right now, reach out for support.” She encouraged the students to “talk to an adult in your life that you trust. It is never too late to ask for help.”

Mrs. Trump’s visit to Baltimore came just four months after President Trump dismissed the city as a “disgusting, rat and rodent infested mess” where “no human being would want to live.” He had maligned the city in a Twitter diatribe aimed at former Representative Elijah E. Cummings, a Democrat from Maryland who was a leading critic of the president. (Mr. Cummings died in October.)

And no they are not yelling “boo urns” in this, they’re just straight up booing you! But also why combine your anti-opioid event with your anti-bullying event? I’m not saying both causes shouldn’t be worth fighting for but at least pick one event and stick with it. The message gets lost when you start combining things. Kind of like when you get a subscription service that has Netflix, Hulu, and Apple TV. Ooh, I get Apple TV too!! But really here’s where it gets weird.

Melania Trump was loudly booed on Tuesday, as she addressed an event in Baltimore as part of White House attempts to fight America’s opioid abuse epidemic.

Donald Trump angered many in Baltimore this summer when in attacking the Democratic congressman Elijah Cummings, he referred to the city as a “rat and rodent infested mess”.

That prompted the Baltimore Sun newspaper to tell the president: “Better to have some vermin living in your neighbourhood than to be one.”

On Tuesday, the first lady attended the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness at University of Maryland Baltimore College.

She was introduced as “somebody who has made it their personal mission to use their platform to make a difference in this particular area, with wellness and addiction and particularly the opioid crisis that we’re living through right now”.

Really Trump, you ought to take a look at your own resorts before you go off and criticize others for personal faults. I mean do we really need to point out how many times Mar-A-Lago has been plagued as a rat-infested shithole? I don’t think so! But really? Drugs will only slow you down? I mean have you seen modern professional baseball players? They take performance enhancers! Of course I miss the glory days of baseball when they took performance hinderers, but that’s a different story.

A crowd of students booed first lady Melania Trump as she was introduced Tuesday at a Baltimore youth summit on opioid awareness, where she told them that “drugs will only slow you down.”

The loud boos drowned out the cheers and applause of some in the crowd at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County Event Center, but Trump smiled through it.

“I know each of you has hopes and dreams for the future, whether it’s college, joining the military or playing sports,” she told more than a thousand middle and high school students. “Your future will be determined by the choices you make. Using drugs will only slow you down.”

Trump was introduced by Jim Wahlberg — the brother of actor Mark Wahlberg — at the B’More Youth Summit on Opioid Awareness. The educational event was sponsored in part by the Mark Wahlberg Youth Foundation, which raises funds for youth programs.

Well, at least Melania is a bit more sane than her husband, and that’s something about that family that we don’t say very often. But positive thinking is definitely not something these people should be preaching, have they heard themselves lately? This is absolute insanity. However, Donald could learn a lesson from his current wife on how to deal with his opponents.

Melania Trump on Tuesday defended the rights of teenagers who booed her when she addressed them in Baltimore, a city her husband, President Donald Trump, has disparaged as “rat and rodent infested.”

She traveled there to urge hundreds of middle and high school students to avoid misusing drugs, saying that would make it harder for them to achieve their life's goals. But her remarks drew a mix of boos and cheers, and the audience remained noisy throughout her five-minute address.

It is highly unusual for a first lady to be booed at a public appearance. Mrs. Trump released a statement hours after she had returned to the White House, defending the principle of freedom of expression while reaffirming her commitment to the issue that drew her to Baltimore.

"We live in a democracy and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but the fact is we have a serious crisis in our country and I remain committed to educating children on the dangers and deadly consequences of drug abuse," Mrs. Trump said.

The first lady has been using her prominence to spotlight programs she thinks can help young people, whether it's to teach them to be positive online or to avoid drug misuse and addiction.

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[font size="8"]Kid Rock
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Normally this is the kind of thing we’d reserve for a “Beating A Dead Horse” segment but since this horse has been beaten to death so much that vultures are pecking at what little flesh is still on the bones of its’ rotting carcass, we must move on, damn it!. Yeah that description did get a bit too graphic. But the “dead horse” in question is that conservative white guys – in 2019 – still feel threatened by Oprah. I mean yeah that’s a thing. But how do we deal with this sort of thing? There’s no one in the world who’s a bigger snowflake than a conservative white Trump supporter. And no one more on the MAGA Trump train than Kid Rock.

Kid Rock was removed from the stage last week at his bar in Nashville after going on a drunken, profanity-laced rant against Oprah Winfrey.

In a video from TMZ, he also called out Joy Behar and Kathy Lee Gifford.

"I'm not a bad guy. I'm just an honest guy that says, 'Hey, I don't like Oprah Winfrey or Joy Behar. They can suck d*** sideways,'" he said. "Sorry, mom.... F*** Oprah. F*** Kathie [Lee] Gifford.... I'm not the bad in the equation. I'm the f***in' guy you want, like, 'Hey, he's pretty cool.'"

"Oprah Winfrey is like 'Hey, I just want women to believe in this s***.'" Rock said. "F*** her. She can suck d*** sideways. And if you say that, people say, 'Hey, I'm pretty sure Kid Rock's a racist.' I'm, like, 'Okay, fine. F*** off,'" he's heard in the video saying.

Really this might be what you would call “rock bottom”. Guess you could say that he’s changing his name to Kid Rock Bottom? I’ll show myself out. But of course this is one of those things where if you try to talk yourself out of it, you’ll only make things worse. Really, the less said, the better. But what do what’s left of Kid Rock’s fan base still think of this rant? Won’t somebody please think of Kid Rock’s fans!!!!! 2002 called, they want their talking point and their crappy nu-metal back!

Kid Rock tried to explain himself after a video surfaced showing him crudely ranting about Oprah Winfrey and other celebrities, but not all his fans are forgiving him. The "Bawitdaba" and "All Summer Long" singer was recorded at his Nashville bar, Kid Rock's Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N' Roll Steakhouse, saying Winfrey and The View co-host Joy Behar "can suck d— sideways," among other insults such as one toward Kathie Lee Gifford. Kid Rock then attempted to explain himself on Facebook, to mixed reactions.

"My people tried to get me to do The Oprah Winfrey Show years ago and her people wanted me to write down 5 reasons why I loved her and her show... I said f— that and her. End of story. I am just saying what a lot of people think. Not saying I should be, but sometimes I just do. Oh well," he wrote. "I have a big mouth and drink too much sometimes, shocker! I also work hard and do a ton to help others out but that’s just back page news because the press hates [that] I love Trump, f— them too. I am what I am, I ain’t what I ain’t!

"PS And you haters and internet trolls can check my touring numbers and shut your ignorant asses up! Boom! PSS I did not get removed from MY OWN BAR (fake news) if anything I was leaving and the cops were helping me out…Hey, at least I don’t drink and drive!!"

He concluded by adding, "PSSS. Was it racist when I said "F— Joy Behar"??? and by the way... I love Kathy Lee Gifford (sic)."

When looking at the comments of the Facebook post, it's clear that many of the "Picture" and "Cowboy" singer fan's could not really care less about what he said. Many even agreed with him and praised him for "saying it like it is." Some also noted his charitable efforts.


Did he just go full Yosemite Sam on us? I ain’t what I ain’t???? What the hell kind of rootin’ tootin’… oh wait, this is Kid Rock we’re talking about here. I don’t think Kid Rock has a grasp of what constitutes popular culture since about 2003. And oh yeah he’s not currently part of the pop culture landscape except in the fantasy world of the MAGAs, which have incredibly poor taste in Z grade celebrities as we have come to know.

Rock's statement comes after a patron at his Nashville honky tonk captured video of him in a profanity-laced rant about Oprah Winfrey and others.

TMZ posted the video early Friday morning of Kid Rock swearing and slurring his words on stage, especially calling out Oprah, but also Joy Behar and Kathie Lee Gifford. This apparently occurred last week.

The "Cowboy" singer defended his tirade, saying, "I'm not the bad guy" and "I'm just an honest guy," while an onlooker can be heard calling him racist.

The video ends with him singing "Proud Mary," before security tends to him.

This time last year, Kid Rock was kicked out of the Nashville Christmas parade for calling Behar an expletive. However, he also paid off layaways for hundreds of families in Nashville.

That’s kind of how I would expect a conservative apology to go at this point. Yeah dude you were kicked out of being the grand marshall at the Nashville Christmas parade for this shit. When you’re in a hole, you know the first thing to do is stop digging! The more that you dig, the worse the hole gets, and really the only way to get out is to dig your way out. And this is someone who Trump admires, people!

"My people tried to get me to do The Oprah Winfrey show years ago and her people wanted me to write down 5 reasons why I loved her and her show. I said f--k that and her. End of story," Rock writes in a Facebook post. He adds that he was "just saying what a lot of people think."

"I have a big mouth and drink too much sometimes, shocker," Rock continues. "I also work hard and do a ton to help others out but that’s just back page news because the press hates I love Trump, f--k them too. I am what I am, I ain’t what I ain’t!"

Rock also feels that footage of security guards getting involved during his rant against Winfrey, which was first shared by TMZ, is being misinterpreted. "I did not get removed from MY OWN BAR (fake news)," the artist says. "If anything I was leaving and the cops were helping me out … Hey, at least I don’t drink and drive!"

During his rant, Rock also railed against The View host Joy Behar. In late 2019, Rock called Behar "a b---h" during a Fox News appearance, also suggesting that "people need to calm down [and] get a little less politically correct." He was subsequently removed as grand marshal of the 2018 Nashville Christmas Parade because of his comments.

Read More: Kid Rock on Oprah Rant: ‘I Have a Big Mouth and Drink Too Much' | https://theboot.com/kid-rock-oprah-rant-statement/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Working On Thanksgiving
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 investigates!

What’s it like to work on a national holiday when everyone else has the day off? As stores prepare for one of the biggest retail days of the year – that becomes a much greater challenge when the crowds being drawn to the sales get bigger and bigger every year. In fact the sales on Black Friday have started to spill over into the day before – Thanksgiving. And some aren’t having any of it, mainly the employers and what they have been putting their employees through. But this is where we come in. How were retail employees spending their day off? By working overtime with hardly any pay. This should not come as a shock to people who know giant retail chains like Wal-Mart and Kohl’s.

Some Walmart shoppers on social media are threatening to boycott the store after reading reports this week which say employees were offered discounts instead of overtime.

Walmart offered employees 10% and 15% discounts to use in the store instead of giving them holiday pay for working during the holiday, the Guardian reports.

The 15% discount is reportedly only available for employees to use over two days in December.

Walmart told Business Insider that the store policy of not offering holiday pay to employees is not new. The policy has been in place for multiple years.

“We simplified our paid-time-off policies in 2016 to combine vacation, holiday, sick and personal time into one bucket,” a Walmart spokesperson said. “As part of that change, we no longer offer holiday pay.”

No, you really don’t. While that seems like an almost certainly evil human resources move to make because it pleases the CFO, in reality, it makes workers miserable. And the Wal-Mart Corporation is not the only big box chain pushing this narrative. But they’re not the only chain questioning whether or not they should remain open during the one day every American has off. Or they should have it off anyways.

As retailers and malls battle for shoppers during the holiday season, they face a tricky decision: do they keep their doors open on Thanksgiving Day, or close to give their workers the holiday off?
Bolstered by low unemployment, rising wages and strong consumer confidence, retailers are preparing for a busy shopping weekend from Thanksgiving Day through Cyber Monday.
An estimated 165 million people are likely to shop over the five-day stretch, according to a survey by the lobbying group National Retail Federation and Prosper Insights & Analytics, a consulting firm.
And about a quarter of them say they will make their purchases on the holiday itself this week, up from both 2017 and 2018. "We expect the biggest increase in potential shoppers for Thanksgiving Day this year," said Phil Rist, executive vice president of strategy at Prosper Insights.

"Customers have shown that they want to shop on Thanksgiving evening," a spokesperson for Best Buy said. "We want to be there to serve those customers and need to be open for that to happen."
Shopping on the holiday has risen in recent years because so many stores are crammed with customers scrambling to take advantage of Black Friday doorbuster sales, experts say.

No actually, he has money. It’s the ones who don’t who are doomed for all eternity. So with this rather Scrooge-like move, Wal-Mart is basically telling its’ employees where they can stick it. And if you’re not getting paid why bother to work? Because you’ll get fired when you don’t show up. And that’s a win for the CEO. After all he’s the one who is sitting comfortably in his ivory tower. Advertising is making everything worse and we’re the ones stuck with it.

The holidays are around the corner, and retailers across the country are gearing up for the shopping mayhem.

To encourage workers during what is historically a high-pressure time for retail, companies use different motivational techniques and perks for their employees.

For Walmart, employees who work on Thanksgiving get a free dinner, a spokesperson for the company confirmed. Additionally, Walmart employees who work from November 27 to November 30 get 15% off a variety of products on top of their usual 10% employee discount. Black Friday falls on November 29 this year.

Walmart stores will operate regular hours on Thanksgiving and Black Friday, though the retailer is closed on Christmas.

The Walmart holiday dinner varies from store to store. The company's more than 4,500 store leaders execute the dinner in a way that makes it unique for each store and team, a Walmart spokesperson said.

That may be but nobody wants to be on the receiving end of an employee uprising. And we’re not sure how this has not happened just yet. But this is one time of the year that brings out the calls for a Black Friday Boycott. However, that’s not going to happen. There’s always going to be someone to need to have that $299 mixer or that $699 television. And for those people we must suffer until the end of time.

Every year, calls go out to boycott Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving when some stores offer deep discounts. Struggling to compete with internet retailers, brick-and-mortar stores — according to Good Housekeeping Magazine, Kohl's, Macys and Best Buy, among others — have started opening on Thanksgiving Day, drawing still more ire, mostly from folks who weren't planning to shop that day anyway.

Many retail boycotters show little interest in getting input from the people who actually have to work those hours. Many of these, no doubt, would rather be with their families; others may need the time-and-a-half most employers pay on holidays.

We can all agree that some essential services — hospitals, police and fire departments, gas stations, utility companies — need to be open on holidays.

Clearly essential services don't, or shouldn't, include retail. Or football, even if you really like watching it.

But we never seem to examine the other industries that violate our sense of holiday propriety.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Palo Alto! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! I come before you today to ask you the question that has been plaguing us since we started this thing. Is the person who ascends to the highest office in the land the proverbial “chosen one” as depicted by my brothers and sisters on the right? Well, many on the right, now, are claiming that the president is chosen by GAWD! So does that mean that if the president is an asshole that GAWD is also an asshole? If they support the unholy, ungodly Dark One, then my prophecy stands true! So why don’t we ask his spiritual advisor, Ms. Paula White!

Paula White, a prosperity gospel preacher who has been a key spiritual adviser to President Donald Trump for years and who recently joined the White House staff, appeared on “The Exceptional Conservative Show” last week, where she said that she continues to stand by Trump despite his pathological lying, misogyny, and complete lack of morals because abandoning him would reflect poorly on her own character.

When White was asked why she supports Trump even though he brags about sexually assaulting women, she insisted that Trump’s comment about his behavior was an anomaly and that, as his pastor, she was obligated to stand by him.

“It wasn’t a habit. It wasn’t a lifestyle, but all of us have parts of our life that we wish the whole world didn’t know,” White said. “When Mr. Trump was watching Christian television, a relationship developed and I became his pastor. So now, when he gets into politics—I mean, think about what this would say about my character? Because it’s not comfortable, now I am going to abandon you because it’s not convenient for me? Because people think you’re something that you’re not and they try to get you in a soundbite and you are a New York brash businessman, what, I’m going to abandon this now? What would that say about who I am?”

Well now that may be good sir, but who is the DAYVIL in this case? Now we all know that the unholy, ungodly Dark One’s name must never be uttered in my church, for he is the ungodliest of all, and that’s the one rule that we have here in the house of the LAWRD JAYSUS! And we musn’t shun those who are indoctrinated in the beliefs of the Dark One, no! But that said, we will never claim that he is the chosen one!

Fox News' Fox & Friends show on Sunday showed a preview of an interview in which soon-to-depart Secretary of Energy Rick Perry said Donald Trump was God's "chosen one" to be president of the United States.

In the interview conducted as Trump faces an impeachment inquiry, Perry implied that Trump is imperfect and that is fine.

"God's used imperfect people all through history," Perry said, naming several Biblical figures. "King David wasn't perfect, Saul wasn't perfect, Solomon wasn't perfect."

Perry added that he gave Trump "a little one-pager on those Old Testament kings" about month ago.

"I shared it with him and said, 'Mr. President, I know there are people that say you said you were the chosen one and I said, 'You were,'" Perry remarked. "I said, 'If you're a believing Christian, you understand God's plan for the people who rule and judge over us on this planet in our government.'"

That was the end of the preview clip and Fox News chief national correspondent Ed Henry claimed that fewer people on the left attack Perry.

No! That is not what we are saying at all! I mean really Brother Perry, why would you go ahead and make such a claim? And shame on you Fox for peddling LIES!! So many lies!!! Those who do in fact support the unholy Dark One are more in tune with a doomsday cult. And it is a doomsday cult because they do believe that the world is ending, and it is ending soon!

The Reverend Franklin Graham has described opposition to President Donald Trump as being “demonic” in a recent interview with author and radio personality Eric Metaxas.

In an interview with Metaxas posted to YouTube last Thursday, Metaxas asked Graham his opinion on the current political climate, especially those opposed to President Trump.

“What do you think of what is happening now? I mean it is a very bizarre situation, to be living in a country where some people seem to exist to undermine the president of the United States,” asked Metaxas.

Graham described what Metaxas was talking about as “almost a demonic power,” which led the radio host to interject and say that he did not believe the term “almost” should be included.

“It is a spiritual battle,” agreed Graham, who then touted the Trump administration’s handling of the economy, saying that the nation has “an economy that is just screaming forward.”

Well we should be getting some money, but the only GAWD that you know Rev. Graham is the almighty dollar! So why are these people so obsessed with making the unholiest among us into the godliest among us? It’s like the woman who’s in an abusive relationship who refuses to give her boyfriend / husband the heave ho. You can’t change someone like that, and we know, for we have tried. Oh LAWRD we have tried!

Pastor Augusto Perez of The Appearance Ministries appeared on Sheila Zilinsky’s podcast last month, where he declared that anyone who opposes President Donald Trump must engage in fasting and prayer “because something is wrong in you.”

“This is not political, this is spiritual,” Perez said. “If you hate this man, if you hate this president, if there is something in you that you hates this man, I strongly counsel you to go on a fast-and-prayer and seek the Lord with all your heart because something is wrong in you. You have been deluded, you have been blindfolded, and the enemy is having his way with you.”

“If you still hate Trump, forget about the man himself—the personality—forget about that and focus on what he stands for and what he has done and what he is doing,” Perez added. “He is doing our Father’s agenda. He is tearing down the pedophile rings, human trafficking, drug smuggling. He is also coming against abortion, he wants to get rid of abortion, all of it. He has already defunded Planned Parenthood and they are fighting him tooth and nail. He has appointed many constitutional judges and two Supreme Court justices. He is bringing this nation back to righteousness, or he is trying to. He has given Christians a voice, he is protecting the Christians, he’s protecting the churches. He is stopping all these Muslim terrorists from coming in. He is doing the will of the Father in this country.”

Yeah that’s probably a poor choice of words there Reverend. But before you go this week, why are they so obsessed with sexual perversion? That is what we need to discuss! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Cancel Culture
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Here’s the question on the table – if Facebook, Twitter, and Youtube were around during World War II, do you think we would be living in a world controlled by the Nazis? Hate and nationalism, the kind that Hitler peddled back in the day, are as popular as they’ve ever been, and they are toppling whole governments, flipping others to the ultra far right, and leaving things as skewed and divided as they’ve ever been. But that said, that hypothetical situation is more relevant today than it’s ever been. Leave it to the one actor in Hollywood who’s not afraid to call out bullshit, and that’s Sascha Baron Cohen (“Borat”, “Talladega Nights”), for shedding some light on the subject. But is he right or wrong? Well this interview is a tough pill to swallow, but he said exactly what needed to be said.

The "Borat" actor Sacha Baron Cohen launched a full-throated attack against tech companies and accused them of allowing hate speech to proliferate on their platforms in a 25-minute speech to the Anti-Defamation League on Thursday night.

Cohen said a "handful of internet companies" were facilitating "the greatest propaganda machine in history."

Though Cohen mentioned Google, Twitter, and Facebook in his speech, his sharpest criticism was reserved for Mark Zuckerberg.

Cohen referred to a speech Zuckerberg gave at Georgetown University last month outlining where he thinks Facebook should draw the line on regulating free speech on its platform. Cohen dismantled Zuckerberg's speech point by point.

"First, Zuckerberg tried to portray this whole issue as 'choices around free expression.' That is ludicrous," Cohen said. "This is not about limiting anyone's free speech. This is about giving people, including some of the most reprehensible people on earth, the biggest platform in history to reach a third of the planet. Freedom of speech is not freedom of reach."

The comedian added that while the First Amendment prevents the government from limiting free expression, private companies have control over what they allow.

No that’s not the question that we’re asking here. See the thing is whenever a conservative says something racist or sexist, and they go to “Twitter Jail” for saying something racist or sexist, then they are quick to call shadow banning, and they’ve held almost as many Congressional hearings on the subject as they did on Benghazi. But Mr. Cohen is definitely not wrong here.

Sacha Baron Cohen used an analogy involving a restaurant owner and neo-Nazis to tear into Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s claim that the social media platform champions freedom of expression.

The British actor and comedian posted a scathing thread on Twitter in which he dubbed Zuckerberg’s speech at Georgetown University on Thursday “disingenuous” and reminded the billionaire that “he is not the government, but the owner of a private business and not subject to the 1st Amendment!”

“If he owned a fancy restaurant and 4 neo-Nazis came goose-stepping into the dining room and were talking loudly about wanting to kill ‘Jewish scum,’ would he serve them an elegant eight-course meal? Or would tell them to get the f**k out of his restaurant? It’s the same thing,” added the “Borat” star.

“He has every legal right, indeed a moral duty, to tell them to get the f**k out of his restaurant,” concluded Cohen, who last year pranked numerous political figures with his satirical Showtime series “Who Is America?” and most recently portrayed real-life Mossad agent Eli Cohen in Netflix’s thriller “The Spy.”

Zuckerberg’s address also drew criticism from Bernice King, the daughter of the late civil rights icon Martin Luther King Jr. Zuckerberg in his speech alluded to the role of freedom of expression in the civil rights movement.

Now that is a good point – do you serve a group of Neo Nazis or do you tell them to get the fuck out and never come back? It’s a simple matter of common courtesy. But yeah, we’re on the side of fuck Nazis, and always have been, and always will be. But is social media the greatest propaganda machine in the history of the world? Yeah probably. I mean it’s either that or Josef Stalin’s propaganda network, and he’s the guy who invented it!

Sacha Baron Cohen has had it with social media.

Speaking at the Anti Defamation League's International Leadership summit, where he was accepting an award, the actor and comedian criticized social media — especially Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube — as "the greatest propaganda machine in history."

Baron Cohen blamed the tech companies for stoking the fires of bigotry and enabling the spread of dangerous conspiracies, often fueled by algorithms designed to keep consumers hooked.

As just one example, the actor cited Facebook's recently unveiled news section, which includes the far-right website Breitbart as one of its sources.

As another, he pointed the finger at social media companies for the way they provided far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and his fringe media outlet InfoWars with platforms and millions of views until banning him amid a wave of criticism last year.

Well this is a comedy show, sir! Of course we’re joking! But the most interesting part of all of this was that this was said in front of a speech at the Anti-Defamation League, a group whose mission it is to fight anti-semitism. And we have people like that in the White House and working all around the world right now, and it’s scary to think what is happening. People are developing a preference to live under dictators, and that will not end well in any situation. So was Mr. Cohen right or wrong? We will see!

Sacha Baron Cohen accepted the International Leadership Award at the Anti-Defamation League’s Never is Now summit on anti-Semitism and hate Thursday. And the comedian and actor used his keynote speech to single out the one Jewish-American who he believes is doing the most to facilitate “hate and violence” in America: Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

He began with a joke at the Trump administration’s expense. “Thank you, ADL, for this recognition and your work in fighting racism, hate and bigotry,” Baron Cohen said, according to his prepared remarks. “And to be clear, when I say ‘racism, hate and bigotry’ I’m not referring to the names of Stephen Miller’s Labradoodles.”

Baron Cohen went on to acknowledge the incongruity of the man who popularized the phrase “throw the Jew down the well”—as the anti-Semitic Kazakh character Borat—accepting an award from the ADL. “At times, some critics have said my comedy risks reinforcing old stereotypes,” he admitted, defending himself by explaining, “as a comedian, I’ve tried to use my characters to get people to let down their guard and reveal what they actually believe, including their own prejudice.”

But as he laid out with examples from Da Ali G Show and his more recent Showtime series Who Is America?, his humor only works when the majority of viewers “share the same facts.” For instance, he said, “When Borat got that bar in Arizona to agree that ‘Jews control everybody’s money and never give it back,’ the joke worked because the audience shared the fact that the depiction of Jews as miserly is a conspiracy theory originating in the Middle Ages.” Social media has changed all of that.

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[font size="8"]No!: Papa John’s Greasy Interview
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Who doesn’t love a good pizza? It’s crunchy, it’s cheesy, it’s saucy. It has all the properties of what one might call the perfect food. But with one of the best foods known to man, there’s also a lot of crap. And that’s where our old friend John Schnatter, aka Papa John comes in. Yes, we’ve talked at length about Papa John’s foray into white supremacy (see: Top 10 #5-5 and Top 10 #3-21 ) but he never seems to shut up or go away. So what’s he got into this week? Well, Papa John admits that he might have overdosed on his own product. But as eating as much pizza as he did won’t kill you, it will just give you a case of the cheese fat and meat sweats. And we’re not going to play one of our usual hilarious memes or clips, we’re just going to sit back and let the interview do the talking.

Papa John’s founder and ousted chairman thinks the pizza chain has changed its recipe.

“I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it’s not the same pizza, it’s not the same product,” John Schnatter said in an interview with Fox affiliate WDRB in Louisville, Kentucky.

After Schnatter built the company on “better ingredients, better pizza,” Papa John’s ousted him as chairman in July 2018, leading him to file several lawsuits against the company. He dismissed his claims as part of a settlement with Papa John’s and has been selling off his stake in the chain.

Schnatter’s resignation had followed his use of a racially charged word on a conference call in May 2018.

In the interview, Schnatter said former CEO Steve Ritchie, who resigned from Papa John’s in August, and the board of directors used the incident to “steal the company.”

Well yeah, you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days it's definitely not going to start tasting that good. That shit's going to start coming out of your pores! I don't think I've seen a case of the meat sweats that badly since I attempted the 2 for 1 Tuesdays challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. And that’s why you don’t order the Blazin sauce, damn it! Well, Papa John didn’t have any Blazin’ sauce but he is definitely, well, maybe blazin’. We don’t know, we’re just guessing!

"I never dreamed that people that I cared about, that I loved, that I made multimillionaires, would do what they did," Schnatter said.

In an exclusive interview with WDRB News, Schnatter said the May 2018 conference call that started it all was made up.

"They fabricated it," he said. "Shame on them."

Schnatter admitted he used the "N word" during an internal conference call on diversity training. But he said he did it to convey his hatred of racism and was quoting another famous founder.

"This is all a farce," he said. "Nothing sells like the truth, and the truth, sooner or later, all comes out."

He said insiders used that as an opportunity to push him out.

Here’s the thing, Papa John, you can’t be racist to condemn your hatred of racists. You see time and time again we’ve gone over how you just can’t say “I’m not racist, but…” to prove you’re not a racist, because it doesn’t prove that you’re a racist! It’s kind of like when a prominent black celebrity dies and Fox News posts a picture of somebody else who’s not them. But really you can’t say racist shit and then make a stupid claim like that.

Schnatter resigned as Papa John's chairman in 2018 after admitting to using the N-word during a company conference call earlier that year. The Papa John's founder had stepped down as CEO in December 2017 following backlash for his criticism of NFL players kneeling during the national anthem before games to protest police brutality.

In the WDRB News interview, Schnatter described his ousting as a "farce." He slammed Papa John's new leaders, including Steve Ritchie, who replaced him as CEO, and the board members Olivia Kirtley and Mark Shapiro, both of whom Schnatter said "should be in jail."

"They stole the company, and now they've destroyed the company," Schnatter said.

Schnatter told WDRB News that he believes the truth about his ousting has yet to emerge.

"The day of reckoning will come," Schnatter said.

Papa John's did not immediately respond to Business Insider's request for comment.

The interview went viral after the writer Timothy Burke tweeted a clip in which Schnatter's voice appears to have been slowed down.

Well of course anything is funnier when it’s in slow motion! Especially when the subject at hand has his heart literally clogged with grease and a bad case of the meat sweats! And also “the day of reckoning will come”? WTF? Is he in Game O f Thrones or something? But the real take away from this interview is come on, 40 pizzas in 30 days. I mean just… damn. Really, is it getting old to your taste buds at that point or is the fat going straight to your head? And by the way if you’re trying to get back in with the company you founded that you got fired from, maybe slamming them isn’t the best way to go about doing things.

Papa John’s founder John Schnatter is speaking out over a year after he resigned in July 2018 following backlash over his use of the N-word on a conference call.

In a recent interview with WDRB, Schnatter, 58, claimed that his ouster was “a set-up” and a “farce,” and slammed both the company and the taste of its pizza.

“I’ve had over 40 pizzas in the last 30 days, and it’s not the same pizza,” he said. “It’s not the same product. It just doesn’t taste as good. The way they’re making the pizza is just not fundamental to what makes a Papa John’s pizza.”

Schnatter added: “I feel so negative and pessimistic about the company that I’ve sold a lot of stock.”

As for the call that sparked his resignation, Schantter said in the interview that he “didn’t say anything that was racist.” (Schnatter was reportedly quoting KFC founder Colonel Sanders on the call, but he has not previously denied that he used the N-word.)

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. It’s been a while since we have done one of these, and they just seem to rack up don’t they? And I want to do something a bit different this week, I want to start with some history. Well they say that those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it right? Well, I hate to break it to you, but stupid people existed during World War II. In fact one of the best victories from the allies happened not because they managed to defeat a technologically advanced German sub, but that the sub defeated itself. How you might ask? I answer you – it was poop. Yup, a toilet flushing under heavy underwater pressure managed to sink itself.

One of the most spectacular, albeit minor, Allied victories of World War II had absolutely no Allied involvement whatsoever.

It came in the form of the Nazi submarine U-1206. The Type VIIC boat was a technological marvel armed with two anti-aircraft guns, five torpedo tubes, and most impressively, a complex toilet that could flush waste into the ocean from deep below the surface.

So complex was the sub’s plumbing apparatus that each crewman of the U-1206 needed to be specially potty trained on its operational capabilities prior to its April 1945 launch from Kristiansand, Norway — a matter of weeks before the war in Europe ended.

The boat was just eight days into its maiden patrol when its captain, 27-year-old Karl-Adolf Schlitt, heard nature’s call to expel the sort of bodily ordnance that rhymed with his name.

The captain’s constitutional relief, however, soon turned to psychological stress when the complicated flushing mechanism proved too difficult for the young officer to operate.

Schiltt summoned an engineer for help, but when the crewman confidently turned an incorrect valve, a mixture of sewage and seawater burst through the compartment and spread to other parts of the submarine.

Well to be fair, it *WAS* their first day. Next up – we go to the great state of Wisconsin. And for this one, you can make all the “happy to see me” jokes you want, but I don’t think any ER doctors out there would want to admit that they’ve found this up the place where the sun don’t shine.

A would-be shoplifter used a rather strange tactic in an attempt make off with some merchandise, said the shop owner.

They said surveillance video at their store, Voigt Music Center in downtown Janesville, caught the cheeky thief in the act. In the video, you can see the man has a massive flute sticking up out of his pants.

“That was shocking, that part. I couldn’t help but laugh about it,” said Tony Farrell, owner of the music shop.

Farrell says the man milled around the store for a bit before zeroing in on the flute.

“He took it right off the wall and walked right over here with it in his hand,” said Farrell. “He went right behind where a camera is and put it down the back of his pants. It was just so ridiculous. I just would not expect someone to be so stupid that they would hide something right in front of a security camera."

OK Mark Cuban is giving you the facepalm! Speaking of being worthy of a Mark Cuban facepalm, here’s the thing people. You should never, ever use your phone while driving. Doesn’t matter if you’re finding a good song to play or tweeting or just about anything else for that matter. But one thing you should never do? Watch TV while you drive. That’s right. This happened.

A man was arrested by a sheriff's deputy on Monday morning after he was stopped for allegedly watching a TV show while driving, according to a court filing.

Griffen Vogelgesang-Maurer, 18, of Iowa City, was arrested and charged with first-offense operating while under the influence and first-offense possession of marijuana. Both charges are classified as serious misdemeanors.

At around 7:11 a.m. on Monday, November 18, a Johnson County Sheriff's Office deputy said he spotted Vogelgesang-Maurer watching South Park on his smartphone while driving, leading to him pulling his 2003 Oldsmobile Alero near the intersection of E Jefferson Street and N Dodge Street.

The deputy stated in a criminal complaint that the vehicle Vogelgesang-Maurer was driving smelled strongly of marijuana. He allegedly admitted to recently smoking and handed over the drug along with a pipe and a grinder. He showed signs of impairment during field sobriety tests and submitted to a breath test which registered a .00 BAC, leading to the deputy to believe that he was under the influence of marijuana.

Next up – we of course can’t do a People Are Dumb segment without mentioning America’s most penis-shaped state. The state of Florida, the Sunshine State. Which of course is home to some of the craziest people on the planet. Really, what are they putting in the water in Florida? Well they’re definitely putting something in the drinking supply – and the drinking supply!

A Florida Man whose Ford truck carries a “Don’t Drink & Drive” bumper sticker was arrested Friday night for drunk driving after he “rear ended a stopped vehicle in front of him,” cops report.

Sergio Ferreira, 56, was driving “about 35-40 mph” when he slammed into a car at an intersection near his home in Largo. The impact caused the second vehicle to go forward and strike another car.

The occupants of the other autos did not require hospital treatment.

When contacted by police, Ferreira “staggered as he walked, swayed as he stood” and smelled of alcohol. Seen above, Ferreira, who refused to provide a breath sample, was arrested after performing poorly on a series of field sobriety tests.

Finally this week for People Are Dumb – once again sticking with the Sunshine State and also stupid people doing dumb things, never, ever under any circumstances impersonate a cop. It will just plain not end well for you. And this happened.

A man from Plant City, Florida, wanted to be a police officer so much that he had a siren box, light set-up and even a band radio installed in his black Crown Victoria vehicle.

But Barry Lee Hastings Jr had one thing missing - a badge stating that he was the real thing.

As an example of how into his character he was, the 35-year-old pulled in behind a vehicle heading east on Interstate 4 and even flashed at him to pull over, Fox 13 reported.

It turned out he had picked the wrong car because its driver happened to be an off-duty Lee County deputy.

After Hastings had told him that he needed to "slow down", the real officer was suspicious and asked him for his credentials.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 16: Buttigieg A Racist?
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Welcome back to our 2020 voters’ guide Keeping Up With The Candidates! Now we are almost at the end of this first season of a very long election year. Now my original intent with this guide was that we were going to discuss all 24 of the candidates who are running to become the 46th president of the United States and unseat @realDonaldTrump. But since the numbers are being reduced drastically, we have instead decided to make it about the issues that matter most. And the issues that matter this week you might ask? Is Pete Buttigieg a racist? Well as the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, he has certainly seen a lot of very troubling scenarios rise. So you might be asking how did this start? Well I answer you it started with a photograph. No, don’t cue Nickelback.

Pete Buttigieg's presidential campaign responded Monday to criticism over its use of a stock image of a Kenyan woman on a campaign webpage promoting the South Bend, Indiana, mayor's plan to address racial inequality.

Buttigieg spokesman Sean Savett said in a tweet that the photograph was taken down "months ago as part of a regular update."

"We apologize for its use and for the confusion it created," Savett said, noting that the use of stock photos is "standard practice across many campaigns." He said that the image was selected by a contractor and that the website it was taken from did not make clear that the photo was taken in Kenya.

In July, Buttigieg unveiled "The Douglass Plan" – named in honor of abolitionist hero Frederick Douglass – which his website describes as "a comprehensive and intentional dismantling of racist structures and systems." To achieve that goal, it promises changes to the criminal justice and health care systems, as well as an expansion of investment and credit in black communities.

The Intercept reported Friday that three politicians, who were included in a list that was promoted by the campaign of more than 400 South Carolinians who support the plan, said they had been mischaracterized as endorsing Buttigieg. Johnnie Cordero, chair of the state party’s Black Caucus, said he never backed the plan, which he called "entirely presumptuous."

God damn it. But doing some deep diving on this subject it appears to be more than just a photograph but that’s where we are at in 2019. It turns out there’s some very troubling things that are a foot in Pete’s district. But then again what’s happening with police isn’t just happening with them in the city of South Bend, Indiana, it’s happening all over the country!

Pete Buttigieg wasn’t much of a pot smoker in college. But coming home from a party one evening, he bumped into a friend of a friend smoking a joint. Buttigieg later recalled that he acted out of curiosity. “Oh, is that — ?” the young Buttigieg said. “And she handed it to me.”

At precisely that moment, a police car pulled up. He quickly tossed the joint over his shoulder. Luckily for Buttigieg, it was a campus cop. Unluckily, he quickly found the roach on the sidewalk, berated Buttigieg, had him place his hands on the trunk, and searched him. Finding nothing more, he sped off, leaving Buttigieg with a story he still tells today of the first time he realized what it means to be privileged. “If I were not white, the odds of that having been something that would have derailed my life are exponentially higher,” he said at an event this spring. “It’s one of many reasons why I think we have to end the war on drugs and move towards the legalization of marijuana.”

It’s a theme Buttigieg returns to often. In July, at an event in Iowa, he shot down a racist question from an audience member by responding, “The fact that a black person is four times as likely as a white person to be incarcerated for the exact same crime is evidence of systemic racism.” When pressed by fact-checkers on his claim, he said that he was referring to the racial disparity in marijuana arrests nationwide, citing an American Civil Liberties Union study that found black people were 3.7 times more likely to be arrested for pot than whites.

Yeah you might as well have Chief Wiggum and his crew in charge of things! But here’s the thing in a time when everyone is divided, it seems that Mayor Pete is beginning to shoot himself in the foot on the subject of race. And that’s one thing that you don’t want to fall off the fucking cliff on when the other side embraces white supremacy and white nationalism! So why don’t voters trust Mayor Pete on the issues that matter?

When South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg first entered the race, to be honest, I was mesmerized. He struck me as young, but brilliant. He spoke with compassion for the least of these and, led by his faith, he invoked the kind of Christianity long missing from the national discourse—one that is inclusive, wrapped in love and equality, and that believes the test of us brings out the best in us.

That he is gay and married was of no consequence to me, although I knew it would be for some. I wanted to believe that he would be the sort of candidate who challenged us to higher ground, but met us at our point of need. He has spent nearly every day since proving me wrong.

I had continued to give him the benefit of the doubt until learning of his past attempt to build a coalition with Tea Party activists—a movement fueled by white supremacy, bigotry and xenophobia in the midst of the Obama administration—as he campaigned for statewide office in Indiana, rather than creating alliances with people of color. As the Tea Party pledged to “take America back,” setting the stage for Trump’s MAGA campaign, Buttigieg found them worthy partners.

Wednesday night, he will have to answer for that when the Democratic field of candidates convene in my city, Atlanta, to debate the issues of the day. They will assemble at Tyler Perry Studios, which is fitting when you consider that sprawling facility was built by a black man on land once commanded by Confederate forces. If there is a capital of black America, it is Atlanta.

Yeah no Pete, you do not want to build a bridge to the Tea Party, they will burn it down and throw you under the bus which will then drive off a cliff. Because that’s the kind of assholes that they are. Instead you should be trying to build a bridge with the African American community. Which as we’ve proven, is something not to be screwed with, as there’s no such thing as a sure thing. I mean shit even Kanye is sporting a MAGA hat these days and we don’t want anyone to go to the Dark Side do we? Enjoy that surge in the polls while it lasts because you don’t know where it’s going to lead.

At a private fundraiser in California on Friday, Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg suggested that black voters in South Carolina preferred former Vice President Joe Biden because of a perception of “familiarity,” even though Biden isn’t “the candidate with the best answers on the subject of race.”

Asked by a guest in attendance at a meet-and-greet event at Thunderbird Heights in Rancho Mirage how he anticipated “engaging the black community to get greater support,” Buttigieg said, “So what’s working for us best right now in engaging the black community is two things: First, substance. And secondly, engagement.” The private event followed a reception at the Andreas Hills Private Resort in Palm Springs, hosted by Rich Weissman, a former Bank of America executive.

On Biden, who has been leading the polls in South Carolina, Buttigieg said, “There’s one candidate who’s got a far and away lead in South Carolina. I actually don’t think it’s because it’s the candidate with the best answers on the subject of race. I think it’s because it’s the candidate who’s got the most familiarity.”

Over the last week, Buttigieg has surged in the polls in some early primary states. A poll last week from CNN and the Des Moines Register showed him with 25 percent among potential Democratic caucus attendees in Iowa, a 16-point jump from the same poll in September. He’s also seen a major increase in New Hampshire, where one poll released Wednesday has him pulling ahead of Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Biden. While Biden is the overall frontrunner, with Sens. Bernie Sanders and Warren jockeying for second and third in recent national polls, the former vice president has recently lost ground in South Carolina and other early primary states, including Iowa and New Hampshire, in addition to Florida. According to a Quinnipiac poll released Monday, Buttigieg is polling at less than 1 percent among black voters in South Carolina, while Biden had 44 percent.

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Well next week we were going to discuss Joe Biden’s bizarre “No Malarky” slogan but instead we must bid adieu to the Kamala Harris campaign. Which sadly, is no more.

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]The Pixies[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest their latest album is called “Beneath The Eyrie”. You can see them on tour… oh they’re playing next week at the Troubadour! Playing their song “This Is My Fate”, give it up for the Pixies!

Thank you Stanford! This was fun! We’re back home at USC next week! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Stanford University, Palo Alto, CA
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Stanford Choir Club, Palo Alto, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Dec 4, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Preview For This Week's Top 10 Conservative Idiots

Well yeah, you eat 40 pizzas in 30 days it's definitely not going to start tasting that good. That shit's going to start coming out of your pores! I don't think I've seen a case of the meat sweats that badly since I attempted the 2 for 1 Tuesdays challenge at Buffalo Wild Wings. Needless to say I don't see that happening ever again!

**audience laughs and applauds**

This week's Top 10 is live from Stanford University! Trump sets up a fake university sting operation, Melania gets booed promoting anti-bullying, Trump goes to Afghanistan for a photo op, we check in with our friends across the pond, Papa John gives a greasy interview, and Sascha Cohen claims that Facebook has gone full Nazi. Plus in our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, as stores are opening earlier and earlier for the retail's "Black Friday", we find out what it's like to actually work on Thanksgiving. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", is the president the chosen one? Our resident pastor has some thoughts on Rick Perry's insane interview. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And in our 2020 voters' guide "Keeping Up With The Candidates", is Pete Buttigieg a racist? After some claims are made in an insane op ed, we get to the bottom of it to find out what's up! Plus we have some live music from the legendary Pixies!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: Wed at 2:00 PM /shameless self promotion
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Sun Dec 1, 2019, 05:53 PM (0 replies)
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