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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 412

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots!! You don’t have to pay $1 to join our subscription service because we don’t have one, but we’ll gladly take your $1! What’s up Salt Lake City??? Yeah how are you guys doing? Are you doing good? See it’s hard to get alcohol here so that’s why we’re doing these shows here, you know, for the booze. And also you guys our loyal audience who sold us out! But I know we're in Mormon country here so I won't make fun except for the subtle jabs we might take during the duration of this week's Top 10. Do we have time for the thing? You know my theory that commercials and advertising ruin everything. So Skittles, what the fuck are you doing? First you have the obnoxious and gross Skittles-pox advertisement where Skittles grow on this dude’s face. Now, they’re taking the whole concept of advertising to a completely insane level. Look, I already avoid ads 99% of the time (although maybe I would have a bigger audience if I didn’t) and I will definitely be avoiding this one. So they’re taking the concept of advertising to Broadway for the Super Bowl. Starring Michael C. Hall! That’s right – they got an Emmy and Tony winning actor who is obviously way beyond starring in a commercial, to star in this thing, which we really, seriously, hope doesn’t become a trend! Which brings me to the Big Lebowski and why I think commercials ruin everything. So apparently the Dude is now a pitchman for Stella Artois. Yes, all that hype last week about the Dude possibly returning? Nope it ain’t for a Big Lebowski sequel, it’s for a god damn advertisement for the Belgian Budweiser. Fuck!!! Way to ruin one of my favorite movies of all time, In Bev. See why I think commercials ruin everything? By the way, be sure to click on the ads on the side of this page! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first we have to play Pete Davidson’s review of the Clint Eastwood flick “The Mule” because it’s pretty spectacular:

Hey everybody the Wheel Of Corruption is back!!! And… We got him everybody! In the number one slot this week is obviously Roger Stone (1), Trump’s longtime collider, professional Hillary hater, and guy who had his tin foil hat surgically attached to his head is going to prison! He can share a cell with Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen. In the second slot is the guy who we currently call president and that’s Donald J. Trump (2), and his office is working overtime to do some major damage control in the wake of the latest witch to be hunted! In the number 3 slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (3) and his insanely evil transgender military ban is going to be taking place, and well, it’s going to affect a whole lot of people and very badly. For the fourth slot this week, we have a new edition of “NO!” (4) and the fallout from the Indigenous People’s Rally in Washington, DC last week is having some major consequences for Covington Catholic and the MAGA hat wearing kids, who not surprisingly, were being racist shitheads in public. Taking the #5 seed this week is of course our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, and this week, after the botched call in the NFC Championship game between the New Orleans Saints and the Los Angeles Rams, we’re going to do a deep dive into the world of bad sports officiating! At number 6 of course is our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, our resident pastor is very troubled that the Doomsday Clock is stuck at 2 minutes to midnight and we will examine all the sides to this apocalyptic event. Taking the seventh slot this week, we’re going to bring back an old Top 10 feature and open up the Top 10 Movie Vault to talk some movies. Specifically, the extremely controversial Michael Jackson documentary “Leaving Neverland” and well when this premiers at Sundance, expect the shit to hit the fan! For the number 8 slot, is a new installment of our favorite segment “How Is This Still A Thing”. And this week, after yet another controversy and losing sponsors left and right, we’re going to ask “The Laura Ingraham Show: How is this still a thing?” (8). In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week we have a brand new People Are Dumb, because of course People Are Dumb. Finally this week, we have the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to be hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco, And Firearms! Plus we have some live music for you from Greta Van Fleet! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Roger Stone
[br] [/font]

Hey everyone say it with me: It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION! YAY!!!!!

Of course you know the rules by now – I spin the wheel and we have to talk about whatever it lands on. Of course if it lands on the guacamole option, you know that it costs $1.50 extra. So here’s what is on the wheel this week:

- Guns
- Abortion
- Crime
- Poverty
- Election Theft
- Buy A Vowel
- Clip Without Context
- Greed
- Spying
- Food
- Elections
- Donald Trump
- Clip Without Context
- Chance
- 5,000
- Bankrupt
- Community Chest
- Donald Trump
- A Random Tweet
- Something Random In The News
- ‘Merica!
- Golf
- 10,000
- Morally Bankrupt
- Guacamole
- Clip Without Context
- Talk Shows
- Holy Shit
- Beating A Dead Horse
- This Fucking Guy
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Harry Potter
- 15,000
- People Are Dumb
- Donald Trump
- I Need A Drink
- Infowars
- T-Shirt Cannon
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Let’s get this shit going! Spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! What? Go directly to jail? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Shit, just my luck. Go to jail on the first spin! Spin it again… and it lands on… crime! Number one this week is pretty obvious if you’re not living under a rock or have your tin foil hat surgically attached to your forehead and that is that Nixon lover Roger Stone got a taste of what his favorite president went through right up until his resignation. But this arrest revealed some things about this guy that are well, very revealing about the mysterious man that is Roger Stone. So what happened exactly?

The special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, revealed on Friday the most direct link yet between parallel efforts by the Trump campaign and WikiLeaks to damage Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election using Democratic Party material stolen by Russians.

A top Trump campaign official dispatched Roger J. Stone Jr., a longtime adviser to President Trump, to get information from WikiLeaks about the thousands of hacked Democratic emails, according to an indictment. The effort began weeks after Democratic officials publicly accused Russian intelligence operatives of the theft, which was part of Moscow’s broad campaign to sabotage the 2016 presidential race.

The indictment made no mention of whether Mr. Trump played a role in the coordination, though Mr. Mueller did leave a curious clue about how high in the campaign the effort reached: A senior campaign official “was directed” by an unnamed person to contact Mr. Stone about additional WikiLeaks releases that might damage the Clinton campaign, according to the court document.

In an indictment filled with colorful details about clandestine meetings, angry texts — even a reference to “The Godfather: Part II” — Mr. Stone was charged with seven counts, including obstruction, making false statements and witness tampering. Mr. Mueller did not say that Mr. Stone’s interactions with WikiLeaks were illegal, nor that the Trump campaign engaged in a criminal conspiracy with the organization.

Whew!!!!!! Man I’ve been waiting all week to use that one! So yes, we got him all right! Maybe Roger can share a cell with Michael Cohen and they can trade conspiracy theories behind bars. And by the way you know that Mueller has implicated an “Individual 1” in the Trump Tower investigation, but now we have an “Organization 1”. That’s right – it wasn’t just an individual! It was an entire organization, because, you know, a coup doesn’t happen with just one person.

Footage of armed FBI agents storming Roger Stone's Fort Lauderdale, Florida, home was dramatic. But the real drama was in the 24-page indictment filed by special counsel Robert Mueller. Beyond Stone's shocking text messages detailed in the court document, one sentence really jumps out. It appears innocuous at first, buried on Page 4. But it raises questions that could potentially lead to evidence of collusion and embroil President Donald Trump himself.

Here's the sentence: "After the July 22, 2016 release of stolen DNC emails by Organization 1, a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases and what other damaging information Organization 1 had regarding the Clinton Campaign."

There's a lot to unpack here, but the key phrase is this -- "a senior Trump Campaign official was directed to contact STONE about any additional releases."

The question isn't which senior Trump official contacted Stone, but who directed this person to do so. The only logical possibilities could fit in a phone booth. It's conceivable that the only people senior officials would take that kind of direction from would be either Trump or Paul Manafort, his campaign chairman at the time.

Yes, can I get some reverb please? WHO IS THE MYSTERY TRUMP ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL? Ooh man that was some good reverb there. We will definitely keep an eye on this story but this might be one of the strangest parts of Stone’s arrest. He revealed his love of a certain president and one that was reviled for being a crook. Can we show that tattoo on his back?

Yeah what the fuck is up with that tattoo? Let’s find out more!

Roger Stone, President Donald Trump's associate who was arrested Friday morning, is a self-proclaimed king of political tricks with a love of vintage suits and conspiracy theories.

A Florida home of the 66-year-old veteran political consultant was surrounded by about a dozen heavily-armed FBI agents who arrested him with a surprise warrant, as seen in a CNN video. Stone has long denied claims that he had inappropriate contact with Russian intelligence during the 2016 electi, but now faces formal charges of lying to investigators.

Here are a few things you might not know about the self-proclaimed "dirty trickster" who loves the limelight:

Stone has a portrait of a smiling Richard Nixon tattooed on his upper back, below his neck. Stone got the tattoo at a shop in Venice Beach in California and told The New Yorker that “women love it." In Nixon's later years, Stone organized a series of media lunches at the former president's New Jersey home, The New Yorker reported with photos of a shirtless Stone.

"The reason I’m a Nixonite is because of his indestructibility and resilience,” Stone said in the interview. “He never quit."

Except for that part where he literally did quit! We may have to do a deep dive into that Netflix documentary for next week. And in case you’re wondering if this could possibly get any weirder, it devolved into Nixon territory when Roger Stone imitated his idol when taking the perp walk – and by the way the funny thing is that it was dismissed by the Nixon Foundation:

On the day of his indictment by special counsel Robert Mueller, former Donald Trump adviser Roger Stone seems to have lost the support of one of his greatest heroes, former President Richard Nixon -- or at least Nixon's foundation.

The Nixon Foundation sought to distance itself Friday from Stone after the political provocateur emerged from a Florida federal courthouse flashing the signature double V hand signal, usually used to symbolize "victory" or "peace," that Nixon made when he departed the White House after his resignation. Stone, who has a tattoo of the former president on his back, has long cited Nixon as a key political icon and influence.

"This morning's widely-circulated characterization of Roger Stone as a Nixon campaign aide or adviser is a gross misstatement. Mr. Stone was 16 years old during the Nixon presidential campaign of 1968 and 20 years old during the reelection campaign of 1972," the Nixon Foundation tweeted.

The foundation added, "Mr. Stone, during his time as a student at George Washington University, was a junior scheduler on the Nixon reelection committee. Mr. Stone was not a campaign aide or adviser. Nowhere in the Presidential Daily Diaries from 1972 to 1974 does the name 'Roger Stone' appear."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

I’m out! Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

We do? That’s news to me! But projection is what the republicans do best, so maybe they are the ones who hate themselves? All right, spin it again! And it lands on… Donald Trump. OK the shutdown is over everybody!!! Yeah!!!!! Well, at least for the next 3 weeks, get your paychecks while you can! The damage has been done though. So much that there’s been numerous proposals on how to end future shutdowns that one might be seen as an abuse of power. Yes, the keyword there is “might”. But the plan we’re going to talk about is the one proposed by Democratic Senator Mark Warner called the “Stop Stupidity Act”.

As the partial government shutdown continued through its thirty-second day on Tuesday, Senator Mark Warner (D-Va.) introduced a bill that would keep the government running during any future lapse of funding, but cut pay for lawmakers.

Warner, whose constituents include about 64,000 employees currently without pay in Virginia, titled his legislation the Stop STUPIDITY (Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage In The Coming Years) Act.

“The Stop STUPIDITY Act takes the aggressive but necessary step of forcing the President and Congress to do the jobs they were elected to do,” said Sen. Warner. “It is disturbing that the daily lives of hundreds of thousands of workers are at the mercy of dysfunction in Washington. Workers, business owners and tax payers are currently paying the price of D.C. gridlock and my legislation will put an end to that.”

You can find the full bill here. It sets up a system to automatically renew government funding at the same levels as the previous fiscal year, with adjustments for inflation, unless legislators pass an appropriations bill setting the amounts differently.

Yes that’s exactly what this bill aims to do – stop people from acting so stupid, mainly the president of the United States. The government works for the people, not for partisan politics. But the Stop Stupidity Act isn’t the only one being proposed. In fact this latest shutdown has prompted a lot of proposals aimed at preventing future shutdowns.

The U.S. government is back in business, and some U.S. lawmakers want to prevent it from shutting down ever again.

After suffering a record-smashing 35-day shutdown, legislators are heading back to Capitol Hill with new energy for a longstanding effort to ban the option of shutting down the government. After a shutdown that denied federal workers two paychecks, members of both parties are realizing that shutdowns rarely produce positive outcomes for anyone.

Senators Rob Portman (R-Ohio) and Mark Warner (D-Va.) each introduced a bill to prevent shutdowns in the future. Portman’s, which has 18 co-sponsors, would continue funding the government at current levels if Congress failed to reach a funding agreement, but funding would decline by 1% after 120 days and then each subsequent 90 days if no deal were reached.

Warner’s, called the Stop Shutdowns Transferring Unnecessary Pain and Inflicting Damage in the Coming Years, or “Stop Stupidity Act,” would maintain funding for all aspects of government except for the White House and legislative branch. Explaining his reasoning on the Senate floor, Warner said, “common sense tells me that we wouldn’t be here 35 days into this shutdown if all our staffs were experiencing the same kind of shortfall and economic distress that 800,000 of our fellow federal workers experienced.”

Yes we’re closed but hopefully this is the last time! Don’t make me turn this show around! And in fact this bill is gaining traction, but will Trump himself sign it? It is gaining traction and even Chuck Schumer is backing the bill. But if you’re not shocked at all that Trump probably won’t sign the bill, well, you’re not wrong. And if you’re shocked he won’t, you’re in the wrong place!

Senate Republicans, led by Sen. Rob Portman (R-Ohio), have also introduced similar legislation, the End Government Shutdowns Act.

The Democratic leader's embrace of the bill came hours after White House acting chief of staff Mick Mulvaney said on CBS's "Face the Nation" that President Trump is willing to shut down the government again in three weeks should lawmakers not come to a satisfactory agreement on border security funding.

The president on Friday signed a bill to fund the government for three weeks, ending a partial government shutdown that had lasted 35 days. The measure did not include money for a wall along the southern border, but provided the opportunity for a bipartisan conference of lawmakers to negotiate border security funding.

Trump said in an interview published Sunday with The Wall Street Journal that he views the chances of a potential deal among lawmakers as "less than 50-50."

Yes, fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it!!!! Last thing we need is a shutdown over a campaign promise that was completely asinine and in no way, shape or form will work. So how do you get both sides to work on something that one side started, one side owns, and somehow managed to convince their base to blame the other side for it? You know what? Lets’ play that clip first.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! So what do they have?

Senator Richard Blumenthal laid out his priorities before he got on a flight to Washington this morning. First, he wants to get workers their back pay. Second, work on a border security deal with republicans. Third, try to keep those workers from losing their paychecks in any future government shutdowns on Monday.

"We thank you," Blumenthal told workers at Bradley International Airport Monday. "All of America should thank you."

Blumenthal went to Bradley to thank federal workers who kept showing up every day, despite not getting a paycheck.

"35 days without pay, working on the job, is a disgrace," Blumenthal said.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… A Random Tweet!!!!


Sadly that's probably the only thing Fox & Friends has said in the last 3 years that could be considered true! Spin it again! And it lands on… Morally Bankrupt! Well there’s only one person in this story that’s morally bankrupt and that’s Donald J. Trump. Yeah last week Trump’s shockingly evil, completely immoral, and extremely unconstitutional transgender military ban went into effect. So just how evil is it and who is affected by this? Well it could mean a whole lot of people!

The Supreme Court allowed President Donald Trump's transgender military ban to go into effect on Tuesday, dealing a blow to LGBT activists who call the ban cruel and irrational.
In an unsigned 5-4 order, the justices took no stance on the legality of the ban, first proposed in a surprise tweet by Trump in 2017, but Tuesday's action clears the way for it to take effect while lower courts hear additional arguments.

The four liberal justices objected to allowing the administration's policy banning most transgender people from serving in the military to go into effect.

The policy, first announced by the President in July 2017 via Twitter, and later officially released by then-Secretary of Defense James Mattis in 2018, blocks individuals who have been diagnosed with a condition known as gender dysphoria from serving with limited exceptions. It also specifies that individuals without the condition can serve, but only if they do so according to the sex they were assigned at birth.

In a statement released after the Supreme Court action, the Pentagon sought to clarify that its policy is not a ban on all transgender persons from the military.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So with that, SCOTUS sides with religious bigotry over the first amenedment. So Brett Kavanaugh’s boofing paid off. How much worse could it get? I mean in the words of Clark Griswold: “Take a look around you! We’re in the threshold of hell!”!

The Supreme Court on Tuesday granted the Trump administration’s request to allow it to bar most transgender people from serving in the military while cases challenging the policy make their way to the court.

The administration’s policy reversed a 2016 decision by the Obama administration to open the military to transgender service members. It generally prohibits transgender people from military service but makes exceptions for those already serving openly and those willing to serve “in their biological sex.”

The vote to lift two injunctions blocking the policy issued by lower courts was 5 to 4, with the Supreme Court’s five conservative members in the majority.

Lawyers questioning the new policy said there was no need to enforce it while the cases challenging it moved forward.

Argh I hate this administration and everything involved. There’s not a lot funny about this - it’s mean and horrible and cruel, and a whole lot of people are about to be displaced because of this. But I guess that was their evil plan all along wasn’t it? I mean really the only thing missing from Trump is a monocle, a top hat, and a furry cat sitting in his lap. Although it’s not over by a long shot and we need to keep Ruth Bader Ginsburg alive for as long as possible!

On Tuesday, by a 5–4 vote, the Supreme Court lifted two injunctions blocking President Donald Trump’s ban on open transgender military service. The move bodes poorly for transgender plaintiffs challenging the policy, indicating that the court’s conservative majority will eventually declare the ban to be constitutional. But it does not allow the Pentagon to begin enforcing the new rules. For now, another nationwide injunction remains in place—though it seems quite likely that it will soon be lifted, as well.

The Obama administration began allowing open transgender military service in June 2016 after the Pentagon concluded that it would have no detrimental effects. In July 2017, Trump attempted to ban all trans people from the armed forces via Twitter. A month later, he directed then–Secretary of Defense James Mattis to craft an implementation plan for the ban. Within months, four federal courts blocked the policy, concluding it was arbitrary, unwarranted, and a denial of equal protection.

In March 2018, the Trump administration released its plan to execute the ban. Crafted with the aid of anti-LGBTQ advocates, the new scheme attempted to avoid constitutional flaws by grandfathering in those trans troops already serving openly. Moreover, it did not explicitly target transgender people, but instead excluded those who experience ongoing gender dysphoria, or “who require or have undergone gender transition.”

Yes, boo this whole administration. This is downright appalling. But what do actual trans veterans think of this atrocity? Well, why don’t we ask them?

The Supreme Court allowed President Trump’s ban on transgender individuals from serving in the military to go into effect Tuesday morning, ostracizing thousands of active service members and sparking another divisive controversy in American politics.

There are an estimated 150,000 transgender United States veterans, according to a UCLA Williams Institute report, many of whom were forced to closet both their sexuality and gender identity or face threat of being discharged from the U.S. military during the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy era.

On Tuesday afternoon, Rolling Stone spoke with Evan Young, a retired army officer who was one of the thousands of transgender veterans who had to hide their identity and sexuality in order to still serve in the military – even once facing an investigation for being a lesbian prior to transitioning. “It was so hard,” Young says. The 14-year military veteran, who’s now the president of the Transgender American Veterans Association after retiring from service in 2013, spoke over the phone about his reaction to the court’s decision to allow the ban to go into effect, the impact serving in the military while closeting your identity has on both units and individuals and what this ruling means for the future of the U.S. military and the LGBTQ community nationwide.

What was your initial response to the Supreme Court’s decision Tuesday morning?
Furious. This was an issue that Trump made. [Barack] Obama opened service for transgender military members and they’ve been serving for two years now with no issues. We’re currently deployed in every single combat zone that’s out there. We serve with honor and we’re patriotic. We give our lives for this country, yet they’re saying we can’t serve and it’s beyond my comprehension why, besides discrimination.

What does this mean for the LGBTQ community to be told their service is not wanted by the president and by the Supreme Court?
It’s devastating, because we have good men and women who want to serve their country and are not allowed to. We have skills that the government has invested so much money and training folks for whatever job they had – whether it’s a pilot or a public affairs officer, a medical officer – there are so many jobs that we serve in and that’s a lot of people that you lose.

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[font size="8"]NO!!!!!
[br] [/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Oh and hey it’s a clip without context!

I can’t even with these idiots sometimes. What does Chris Jericho have to do with anything other than his last name is Jericho? WTF! Spin it again!

That’s right. NO!. You know last week we had dueling marches in Washington, DC – there of course was conservative Christians marching to take away women’s reproductive rights by overturning the Supreme Court’s always controversial Roe V Wade decision. And then there was the Indigenous People’s March – held in the National Mall on the same day – looking to give America’s often neglected Native Americans a voice on Capitol Hill. And then there was one church from Kentucky that attended both marches, and is getting a lot of extremely negative press for how they behaved in the latter march. We covered this last week, but now the victim blaming has begun!

Gov. Matt Bevin went on TV on Tuesday night to voice his opinion on the confrontation between a group of Kentucky students and a Native American man.

On Tucker Carlson Tonight on Fox News, Bevin blamed the media for the backlash against students.

"I find it offensive that people have insulted these students as they did," Bevin told Carlson. "Could they, themselves, in every instance, perhaps behaved more gentlemenly? Probably so. But as someone who has a 20-year-old and a 16-year-old to boot, I can tell you: Sometimes, teenagers act silly and goofy and irresponsible. But these children acted far more responsible during the course of that 20-minute interaction or so than any of the adults that were involved."

Bevin's comments come after video surfaced of an encounter between Covington Catholic High School students and Native Americans in Washington, D.C., over the weekend.

Many claim the Native Americans were intimidated by the teenagers. But, others say the teenagers are being targeted for wearing "Make America Great Again" hats.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! That’s right – according to Kentucky’s governor, these kids aren’t to blame for their nasty behavior, it’s that damn violent leftist media’s fault! Gee, some kids wearing MAGA hats turned out to be racist shitheads and were called out for their behavior? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! And by the way even Stormy Daniels called them out. You know it’s bad when you get called out for inappropriate behavior by a stripper!

The adult film star Stormy Daniels is suggesting building a wall — around the Catholic high school in Kentucky whose students surrounded and mocked Native Americans during a march in Washington, D.C.

Daniels weighed in Saturday on the incident involving Covington Catholic High students after video surfaced showing a young man in a "Make America Great Again" cap trying to intimidate a Native American elder. Dozens of Covington students can be seen jeering and chanting along.

"I'm suddenly in favor of building a wall...around Covington Catholic High in KY," wrote Daniels, legally known as Stephanie Clifford, on Twitter. "And let's electrify it to keep those disgusting punks from getting loose and creating more vileness in society."

Daniels is known for her legal dispute with President Donald Trump and his attorney Michael Cohen over alleged hush money paid to silence Daniels about an affair she said she had with Trump in 2006.

The school and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Covington condemned the actions of the students against the man, Nathan Phillips, on Saturday afternoon after millions of people viewed videos of incident, many expressing their outrage on social media.

And the other thing people - fucking stop with the death threats already! Don’t you see that threatening death only makes you the asshole? Yeah these guys were racist MAGA shitheads, let’s kill them and send a pipe bomb to their church! Hey, my barista didn’t give me enough ice in my iced latte! She should die a horrible death! See how it doesn’t work that way? Neither does this!

Covington Catholic High School decided to cancel classes on Tuesday after a weekend of controversy following a viral video featuring some of its students.

Principal Robert Rowe told WXIX that school officials met with local authorities and decided to cancel school and close the building on Tuesday to ensure that students, faculty and staff would be safe. Rowe added that all campus activities were cancelled for during the day on Tuesday, as well as, the evening.

“Students, parents, faculty and staff are not to be on campus for any reason,” Rowe said in a letter. “Please continue to keep the Covington Catholic Community in your prayers.”

The Park Hills, Kentucky, school’s decision to close on Tuesday followed the publishing of a video of a student wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat standing in front of a Native American elder. The students were in Washington, D.C., for the annual anti-abortion rally, the March for Life, and were waiting for their busses at the Lincoln Memorial.

On Saturday, a video clip of a confrontation between a Native American elder, identified as Nathan Phillips, and a high school student, identified as Nick Sandmann, was published on several social media sites. Many of the students were wearing attire supporting President Donald Trump, prompting prominent people on social media to label the students as racist and bigoted.

That is a good question, Mr. Harvey! But while so much attention is being paid to what happened at the latter march, let’s not make light of why they were there in the first place!

The itinerary for most school field trips to Washington, D.C., is usually as busy as it is predictable: See some monuments on the National Mall, check out the Smithsonian museums and don’t miss the bus to the next stop.

But trips to the annual March for Life are different.

They're not typically as different as Covington Catholic High School’s visit last week, which ended with the Park Hills, Kentucky, school and its students embroiled in a made-for-Twitter political firestorm, but still unlike the sight-seeing excursions kids sign up for at most schools.

The March for Life trips are built around student activism at a single event about a single issue on a single day in Washington. Catholic schools, where students are taught abortion is an intrinsic evil, have been organizing excursions to the anti-abortion marches for years.

This has never been just another field trip for the students or their parent chaperones, and abortion has never been just another issue in America’s culture wars.


That’s right – they were there to take away a women’s right to reproductive freedom! And you might be wondering where the MAGA in chief is and what he thinks about this? Well, they’re just his kind of people and he’ll probably treat them to a big fast food buffet at the White House.

After taking to Twitter to support them, President Donald Trump may meet with Covington Catholic students at the White House as soon as the government shutdown ends, according to reports.

The possible meeting was first reported Tuesday morning by Fox News host Laura Ingraham, who tweeted that Covington Catholic students "threatened by the leftist internet mob" will meet with Trump at the White House as early as Wednesday.

However, Ingraham tweeted about an hour later that the White House "seems to be in flux" regarding a meeting with Covington Catholic students who were in Washington, D.C., on Friday for the March for Life.

"Announced any meeting would happen after shutdown," Ingraham wrote on Twitter. "Odd as it would be less meaningful if delayed."

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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Let’s spin it to win it! And it lands on… wait for it… Oh it’s the guacamole option! Come on out here, Fernando! Yes, everyone Fernando is our sous chef here at the Top 10 and he is going to prepare my tableside guacamole. Here’s your $2!

All right doesn’t that look great? Thanks Fernando! Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Last week, the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints played for the NFC title and a chance to go to Super Bowl LIII. However, an extremely controversial call happened in the fourth quarter of that game that sent the Rams to the Super Bowl and the Saints home packing. Now regardless of which team you root for in this fight, we’re here to help sort out all the madness behind the controversial non call. Just how bad is sports officiating in the modern era? Well, moderate to extremely.

Referee Bill Vinovich's crew missed an obvious pass interference call on Los Angeles Rams cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman in the final minutes of Sunday's NFC Championship Game against the New Orleans Saints.

The no-call came with 1:45 remaining on a third-and-10 play from the Rams' 13-yard line, with the score tied at 20. Robey-Coleman appeared to run into Saints receiver Tommylee Lewis and make helmet-to-helmet contact before the ball arrived -- sending the raucous Mercedes-Benz Superdome crowd into a chorus of boos when no flag was thrown.

Had interference been called, the Saints would have had a new set of downs and a chance to run the clock down before attempting a short field goal with less than 20 seconds remaining. Instead, the Rams forced overtime and beat the Saints 26-23, advancing to Super Bowl LIII.

People from around the country reacted to the controversial play, including some who photoshopped images:

So just how bad was that call? Well it’s spawned everything from lawsuits to death threats, because only in 2019 would a sensible person threaten to murder someone over something like that. And in case you’re wondering if there’s going to be another playoff game, well, don’t get your hopes up.

Redoing last weekend's controversial NFC title game between the Los Angeles Rams and New Orleans Saints would mean a pricey delay of the upcoming Super Bowl, the NFL said Friday.

In a legal filing, NFL Chief Financial Officer Joseph Siclare said replaying even a few minutes of the NFC championship game because of a missed passed interference call would force a delay for an event that demands an investment of "more than $100 million," the New Orleans Advocate reported.

Siclare's sworn affidavit was submitted by the NFL to get one of two pending lawsuits over officiating moved from state civil court to New Orleans federal court.

The filing marks the league's first formal response to a lawsuit by a pair of ticket-holders over the infamous "no call" that ended the Saints' Super Bowl run last Sunday.

That’s about what the Saints fans want to do to the ref who blew the call. And we get it, but LA is definitely no stranger to blown calls. In fact if you look at one of the most infamous blown calls of the last two decades, this one makes the New Orleans non call seem like a walk in the park. To use sports terminology if we must.

Boston, the defending World Series champion, was dispatched in three games by the White Sox during the AL Division Series, and manager Ozzie Guillen's crew looked to be the favorites against Anaheim in the ALCS. The Sox held home-field advantage at U.S. Cellular Field, the Angels were without ace Bartolo Colon, and they had just finished off a grueling five-game series win over the Yankees before making the trip from Anaheim to Chicago for Game 1.

Paul Byrd pitched the Angels to a surprising 3-2 victory in Game 1, making Game 2 a crucial contest for the White Sox before going to the West Coast. The game was tied at 1 in the ninth, with Mark Buehrle having gone the distance for Chicago, when A.J. Pierzynski appeared to strike out against Kelvim Escobar for the third out to send the game to extra innings.

Pierzynski ran to first on what he thought was a dropped third strike by catcher Josh Paul, and home-plate umpire Doug Eddings allowed him to stay there. Pinch-runner Pablo Ozuna swiped second and scored on Joe Crede's walk-off double, propelling the White Sox to their first of four straight victories over Anaheim.

OK so before you New Orleans Saints fans go nuts, although it may be too late for that, just be aware that we’ve seen calls just as bad if not worse than that. And by the way in case you’re wondering just how far Saints fans have taken their wrath, just look at this. Remember when we said there were death threats involved? Well it’s way worse than you might expect.

He has a name Saints fans will remember begrudgingly, but what Nickell Robey-Coleman said happened after the game is something they'd probably rather forget.

The Los Angeles Rams cornerback who was responsible for a play that went unflagged and likely cost the Saints a Super Bowl berth said he received countless threats after the game, including those of violence and another to burn down his home, according to Bleacher Report.

Robey-Coleman was speaking at a media event in the buildup to Super Bowl 53. The Rams face the New England Patriots on Sunday.

One of the threats, made on social media, said it would "f--k you up" at the airport. Another said he should leave or he "might not see tomorrow." Another said they'd burn his house down.

Robey-Coleman had a simple answer.

"Wolves do not concern themselves with the opinions of sheep," he said in the report.

So you can complain all you want about your blown call, just don’t make death threats, that gives your fans a bad name. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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It’s time to give the wheel a good strong spin! And it lands on… oh hey it’s another clip without context!

And that’s just sad. Or as Trump would say – SAD! Spin it again! Hey it’s time for Holy Shit! Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Salt Lake City, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know it’s our duty to inform you that we are approaching the end of days, but it also my duty to inform you that the forces of SAYTAN are working very quickly to help bring about that very scary ending of the Bible to life. We already saw that last year when the Dark One, whose name shall not be spoken in my church, decided to move the US - Israeli embassy to Jerusalem to please his base of end times apocalypse worshippers. Well, he might be surprised to learn that this did nothing of the sort to help escalate the rapture! You know there’s a special time keeping device that is used to monitor how close we are to the end of days, and well, if you’re not alarmed by this, you should be.

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists is keeping the Doomsday Clock set at two minutes to midnight - the emblematic end of the world - calling the threats against humankind "a new abnormal."

The scientists announced Thursday that the clock is stuck at 11:58, citing nuclear weapons and climate change as two existential risks that leave the world dangerous close to an apocalypse.

Bulletin President Rachel Bronson told The Washington Post that the scientists felt that keeping the clock at that "daunting time" was appropriate because "the time corresponded to the message we were sending." She said the board was particularly concerned that "U.S.-Russian relations are near an all-time low," "the arms control architecture is deteriorating," and "carbon emissions are rising after a period of plateauing."

She particularly emphasized that "the intentional undermining of the information architecture for political purposes, which we view as a threat multiplier - makes everything that we're doing more difficult."

So, nuclear apocalypse is inevitable!!! Or is it? You know think of this as the calm before the storm, because in our Good Book, at least JAYSUS does not make any sort of mention of how the world is going to end. And you know you should never mix religion and science because the two separate in a giant pool like olive oil and vinegar. So why is it so important that the Doomsday Clock is staying at 2 minutes to midnight this year?

The Doomsday Clock is the creation of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, a group that formed in the wake of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Their goal: educate both the scientific community and the public at large about technology’s potential to destroy the world.

The Doomsday Clock was originally set at seven minutes to midnight, and the Bulletin has adjusted it 23 times over the years. The most recent adjustment came in 2018 when the group set the clock to 11:58 — putting humanity symbolically closer to doomsday than it had ever been before.

According to the Bulletin, we’ve done nothing in the past year to make the situation any less precarious — humanity still faces not one, but two “existential threats” in the form of nuclear weapons and climate change.

While the clock remains set at 11:58, the potential of either threat to destroy humanity has increased over the past 12 months, according to the Bulletin’s 2019 statement. We must do something to alter our path.

Oh so it’s only a minor threat to the end of humanity as we know it! For the good LAWRD JAYSUS never made mention of the end of days, but his followers love how the BAYBLE ends in the book of Revelation because the clock hasn’t slowed down but yet it does remind us of the dangers of the world in which we currently live! Can I get an amen???

When the board of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists has judged a significant deterioration of the global security environment, it usually moves the hands of the “doomsday clock” closer to midnight. One year ago, recognizing a cluster of negative trends, the custodians reset this icon as never before in its 70 year history to two minutes before midnight. But this week, rather than push it closer to midnight, as many analysts had predicted, the board doubled down in a bold statement that the world is in a “new abnormal”ť and that the clock is still two minutes to midnight.

This statement is a clarion call to citizens and leaders alike in declaring, “This new abnormal is simply too volatile and dangerous to accept as a continuing state of world affairs.”ť With the articulation of the contours of the perilous new abnormal, the clock moves beyond a metaphorical representation of our planetary wounds. It exposes the intertwined conundrum of increased nuclear militarism, unabated climate change, and the corruption of global information systems by leaders using new technology for nefarious goals. The discussion of the latter is a major contribution to security thinking, particularly as it affects democracies.

Perhaps the most insightful critique of leaders around the world notes their “intentional corruption of the information ecosystem on which modern civilization depends.”ť Sadly, calling on leaders in Washington to change their behavior regarding these issues will be a steep climb. Never before has an executive branch of the United States had a lower regard for the findings of science, especially around the topic of climate change. The more than $1 trillion proposed for future decades of nuclear modernization has no substantial opposition within Congress.

Well let’s think about this here in the eyes of the LAWRD – the clock hasn’t moved forward but it can’t move backward. You can’t turn back time! Yes, I know that’s a Cher song, sir! So why is this thing still relevant? Why don’t we ask a real scientist? And you should never mix religion and science, that’s just bad for business!

Sputnik: Ok finally with this in mind, is humanity closer now to striking midnight on the doomsday clock than in the past?

Dr Becky Alexis-Martin: From a nuclear perspective no, I think it's absolutely right to kind of retain the point that we are ‘two minutes from midnight', however from a climate perspective we are gradually encroaching and edging towards catastrophe and that catastrophe won't affect people in the global north substantially as much as it will affect people in the global south.

The impacts of climate change will not affect places like the USA, UK and Russia as substantially as places like Sub-Saharan Africa or the South Pacific where they don't have the opportunities to create adaptations to climate change and their situation is more precarious to begin with. I would say yes, I would say that we are edging closer towards midnight from a climate perspective and we just have to wait and see really. I hope that international policy begins to remedy and begins to support progress towards mitigating climate change.

So what do you think a GODLY man thinks of the end of days? Well apparently SAYTAN has been working overtime to eradicate his foes, all of which oppose the Dark One! Wait a minute, the Dark One was anointed by SATAN, not by GAWD!!!

On last night’s “YourVoice America” program, ardent pro-Trump commentator and right-wing conspiracy theorist Bill Mitchell declared that every policy proposal put forth by Democrats is designed to increase human misery because liberals are driven by self-loathing and want all of humanity to suffer.

Mitchell said that if a liberal sees someone wearing a MAGA hat and therefore thinks that person is racist, it is because the liberal is the one who has racism “occupying a large space” in their mind already and “is looking at the world through racism-colored glasses.”

“Here’s the problem that liberals have,” Mitchell asserted. “They feel a sense of being outcasts, a sense of being different. Because of this otherness, they tend to have a lot of self-loathing, OK? Now they’re human beings [and] they loath themselves, so they loath humanity.”

“The Democrats and the liberals must always blame mankind for everything because of their sense of otherness, because of their sense of not belonging, because of their sense of hatred of mankind,” Mitchell added. “That’s why their policies and procedures never improve the status of mankind, but prolong the pain and make the pain worse, because they hate mankind and they hate themselves.”

There you have it folks! The opponents of the Dark One blame mankind for everything and that’s why we are in the End Of Days! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Movie Vault
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… Oh hey it’s A Random Tweet!!!


Oh hey it’s good to know that he’s smocking covfefe again! Let’s spin it again! Oh it’s the mystery item which means that we’re going to bring back… THE TOP 10 MOVIE VAULT!!!!

That’s right – the Top 10 Movie Vault brings you excellence (or not) in cinema whether it’s the finest documentaries on the internet or movies actually in theaters. So bear in mind we will keep this segment to the standards of humor that you’ve come to expect from the Top 10 by now - which usually are very poor but we'll accept moderate. That said, what has people’s underwear in wads this week? Well there’s a controversial new documentary about Michael Jackson that his most hardcore fans would probably rather not be seen, all remaining copies destroyed, and any left stored next to the Arc Of The Covenant. Because, reasons.

The new two-part documentary on Michael Jackson, Leaving Neverland has been mired in controversy since its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 25. The documentary follows Wade Robson and James Safechuck (now in their thirties) who allege that Jackson preyed on them as young boys.

Since Friday, the documentary has been met with statements from the Jackson estate and Jackson’s family, with the estate calling Leaving Neverland a “tabloid character assassination” on Jackson. The family dubbed Robson and Safechuck as “perjurers” and the film as a “public lynching.”

Now, Leaving Neverland director and producer Dan Reed has responded to those criticisms. In a new interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Reed said, “A four-hour piece, is that a tabloid?” He continued, “I didn’t characterize Jackson at all in the film—I think if you watch it you'll have noticed that it’s a story about these two families and Jackson is an element of that story.” Reed asserted that the film isn’t about Jackson, but rather “an account of sexual abuse, how sexual abuse happens and then how the consequences play out later in life.”

“They have a very precious asset to protect,” Reed added. “Every time a song plays, a cash register goes ‘ka-ching.’ It doesn’t surprise me that they've come out fighting in defense of their asset.” Reed also mentioned that he doesn’t think the family has seen the film. “Their statements are not consistent with having watched the movie,” Reed told THR.

Of course they have a valuable asset to protect! Have you seen how much Michael Jackson is worth when he’s dead? He’s the world’s highest earning dead celebrity! And he’s got relatives and employees who want to get rich off of that! And if you think you don’t make enough money, wait until you see how much money this estate has. In all honesty, death was probably the best career move Michael Jackson could have made.

Death hasn’t ended Michael Jackson’s commercial success.

Jackson again tops our list of the highest-paid dead celebrities list after hauling in $400 million over the past year, mostly from the sale of his EMI Music Publishing stake. Additional cash comes from his Mijac Music catalogue, a new Sony record deal and projects like TV special Michael Jackson’s Halloween, which returned to CBS on October 20 for the second consecutive year.

“You see Charlie Brown Christmas and Charlie Brown Thanksgiving every year, so now we’re looking to have Michael Jackson’s Halloween every year,” says John Branca, the Jackson estate’s co-executor. “We hope that it’ll become evergreen.”

Behind the King of Pop on our list is another music monarch: Elvis Presley, who takes the No. 2 spot with $40 million over the past year; Arnold Palmer rounds out the top three with $35 million. In all, the dead celebs pulled in $628 million, more than double last year’s $312 million tally—thanks entirely to Jackson’s windfall, which gives him $2.4 billion in earnings in the decade since his death.

Naturally you can see why they’re nervous about this flick, especially given what can happen to famous celebrities in the post #MeToo era. Now we’re not defending the allegations in this documentary even slightly. But if the director isn’t worried about the Michael Jackson estate, maybe he should be worried about Michael Jackson fans!

“Leaving Neverland,” a new documentary focused on the child sexual abuse allegations against Michael Jackson, has already stirred some controversy at the Sundance Film Festival, and now that backlash has hit its IMDb page.

On Friday afternoon at about 1:20 p.m. PT, the IMDb page for the documentary read “Liar, Liar 2: The Wade Robson and Jimmy Safechuck Story.” Robson and Safechuck are two Jackson accusers who appear in the documentary. It was fixed by about 2:05 p.m. PT.

It would appear that angry Jackson fans vandalized the page. Those with a registered IMDb account are able to make edits on films’ pages, similar to Wikipedia. IMDb did not immediately respond to Variety‘s request for comment.


And that was just the IMDB page! In case you don’t know Michael Jackson fans, they’re very similar to a lot of fans of some very powerful celebrities. You know – like the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump. Honestly the extremely rabid Michael Jackson fans and the extremely rabid Donald Trump fans are really cut from the same cloth. Especially when they can pull shit like this.

EXCLUSIVE: The world premiere of a controversial Michael Jackson documentary this week at the Sundance Film Festival has organizers and local police preparing for turmoil from fans of the deceased Thriller singer.

“We have increased our staffing out of concerns for the potential for a protest,” Captain Phil Kirk of the Park City Police tells Deadline about the January 25 debut of the sexual abuse investigating Leaving Neverland. That’s the official line, but officials in the Utah ski town say their primary concern is about an incident inside the Egyptian Theatre screening of the Dan Reed directed two-parter on Friday.

There have been direct threats against The Paedophile Hunter helmer Reed over the 236-minute Neverland, I hear.

“Tensions are higher for this movie than anything I’ve ever seen at Sundance before,” says a law enforcement source. “No one is going to be prevented from exercising their Constitutional rights, but we are not going to allow this to get out of hand, in any way,” he added, noting that the checks and other security measures already in place for SFF will be heightened inside the venue also.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? And it lands on… wait for it… clip without context!

Uh… did Alex just admit he’s in on the whole thing? Paging Mr. Mueller! Paging Mr. Mueller! Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for How Is This Still A Thing? Time once again to ask:

This week – the Laura Ingraham Show. How is this still a thing? Apparently in conservative world, as long as you say what they want to hear, you’re a celebrity for life. It doesn’t matter how many sponsors you lose, or how badly you get mocked by those on the other side. You can always paint them as violent lunatics and you’ll still get a large majority of the viewership. Such is the case with the Laura Ingraham Show – another Fox News outlet that’s currently being circled down the drain and has been for a long time. So what happened exactly?

Right-wing radio host Laura Ingraham has been hemorrhaging advertisers after a petty attack on a teenager who survived the Parkland, Florida massacre.

As of April, Ingraham had lost 24 advertisers to her Fox News show thanks to an online campaign mobilized by David Hogg, who called out the fringe host for her bullying. But as of October, those advertisers still didn’t return.

“It’s not unusual for advertisers to flee temporarily when controversy strikes a television program,” wrote Politico. “But the sustained loss of advertising minutes and big, nationally recognized brands from “The Ingraham Angle” shows the power of activist-led boycotts and the depth of major corporations’ concerns about offending would-be consumers in the hyper-politicized era of President Donald Trump.”

Media Matters announced Ingraham’s show was over, but she’s still trying to hold on by doing a podcast. Her Fox News show will also continue. The weekly radio show ends its run after 17 years. It has “served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it,” the site described.

Yes that’s right – Laura Ingraham has been dropped from her radio show but somehow is still able to be on Fox News. So how did Ingraham’s show go off the air? What was the final cause of death? Was it her incessant bigotry and love of Donald Trump? Or was it the way that she attacked the Parkland Students for their activism? Or is it all of the above?

After 17 years of torturing Americans’ ears, Laura Ingraham’s radio show finally came to an end this December. The weekday show has long served as a safe space for the Fox News host and her guests to make cruel jokes, practice racism, demonize immigrants, and push wild conspiracy theories. The world will be better off without it.

Unfortunately, Ingraham’s cruelty and racism will still have a home on her Fox News show and her new podcast beginning next month. But for now, we can bid a happy farewell to a truly awful program by remembering some of its most repulsive moments.

Ingraham fawned over Donald Trump’s bigoted rhetoric on immigration; she defended his calls for a ban on Muslims entering the United States, and even argued that the ban was “not broad enough,” claiming that she would “go farther” and be “even worse than Trump.”

She asserted that “Middle Eastern countries have got to be told… we’re cutting you off,” questioned why the U.S. should allow Muslim immigration ”knowing that we can’t tell if an Islamic individual is going to be radicalized,” and said the U.S. should only accept refugees “who we can verifiably say are Christians. … But all these other people, they’ve got to stay in the Middle East.”

So it took 17 years to realize that Laura Ingraham is a toxic bigot who only spews nothing but hate and bigotry? Well maybe she and Jeannie Pirro can join forces. But in case you’re wondering why Ingraham is still on the air, well look at the fact that they have pretty much a direct pipeline to Trump. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Right-wing pundits are not happy that President Donald Trump has agreed to reopen the federal government while he negotiates with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Democrats in Congress over funding for border security.

Upon hearing the news, conservative commentator Ann Coulter tweeted “Good news for George Herbert Walker Bush: As of today, he is no longer the biggest wimp ever to serve as President of the United States.”

Michael Malice — an anarchist author, columnist and media personality — posted a similarly mean-spirited tweet: “Apparently a wall isn’t as good as a cave.”

Tomi Lahren, a Fox Nation host, tweeted “It’s President Trump, not President Pelosi. Act like it.”

Breitbart, the alt-Right brainchild of former White House chief strategist to President Trump Steve Bannon, proclaimed on its website “GOVERNMENT OPEN … AND BORDER. NO WALL.”

That’s right Dude, with friends like these, who needs enemies? Yes, the federal government is currently being run by idiots with microphones. Let that sink in for a minute. And by the way in case you’re wondering if your advertising boycott is working, let’s look at what actually happens when that happens.

“Republicans buy sneakers, too” probably isn’t what Michael Jordan said, but it is true nonetheless. In fact, empirically, it’s an understatement. The last five years have given rise to the direct brand revolution with digitally minded startups disrupting every category, resulting in hundreds of so-called unicorns — privately held companies worth more than $1 billion — many of whom grew through leveraging the power of conservative media outlets and programs. Ironically, marketers associated with these brands are overwhelmingly liberal with no interest in political controversy.

Direct brands are data-driven, so when their analytics reveal conservative programming systematically outperforming inoffensive content, they trust the numbers. So brands like Casper, Blue Apron, ZipRecruiter or 23andMe hold their noses and continue pumping promo codes and vanity URLs into conservative podcasts, talk radio and even FOX News, thinking to themselves: “I wish I knew how to quit you, Ben Shapiro!”

In all this, there is confusion about what sponsorship actually symbolizes.

While conservative programming yields superior results, many marketers abstain from it, for fear of promoting values differing from than their own. This is not only faulty thinking. It is dangerous to democracy and a slippery slope. Sponsorship doesn’t mean you share values with talent. It says you wish to share your values with that talent’s audience. Carried to the extreme, identical values as a prerequisite for sponsorship means corporations dictate where free speech is acceptable and where it is not.

There you have it, while people may resist someone like Laura Ingraham, advertisers already do and don’t show their ads on shows like this. That’s enough to make you ask – the Laura Ingraham Show:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! And it lands on… wait for it… No, a whammy!!!

Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. I feel like anytime we don’t do one of these, there’s tons of stories of people being stupid. Such is the case this week! So let’s start with this story out of Lexington, Kentucky. And Kentucky is really Florida’s Florida. Because when Florida Man or Florida Woman are absent from the news, you can always count on some just absolutely batshit crazy stories coming out of the Blue Grass State. So this woman was channeling her inner J. Walter Weatherman from Arrested Development.

LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — A Kentucky woman charged with drunken driving told police she did it "to teach her son a lesson."

News outlets report 48-year-old Sunita Jairam was arrested early Sunday on charges including endangering the welfare of a minor.

Her arrest citation says she told police she "drank a bunch of beer" and drove at 150 mph (241 kph). It's unclear what lesson she was trying to impart.

The son told police he tried to get out of the BMW subcompact several times, but the door was locked. News outlets didn't list his age.


And that’s why you don’t drive drunk to teach lessons to your son! Because then you will almost always see the PoPos! Next up, we go to this story out of Madison, Wisconsin. Look… I’m a guy, I get it, and if there’s one thing you don’t do, you never, ever, under any circumstances get between a man and his toys. Doesn’t matter if they are power tools, comic books, electronics, jet skis, riding lawnmowers, computer parts, motorcycles, or action figures. Just… don’t do it. Because this will happen. And it won't end well for you. And I love the guy’s statement, by the way.

Around 10 p.m. on Sunday night, a 34-year-old Madison, Wisconsin man called 911 to report himself.

The man, whose name hasn’t been released, said his problems began with his collection of prized action figures, according to Madison Police Chief Mike Koval’s blog on the incident. The man explained that he’d been drinking, and he thought his wife had damaged some of them. He said he may have “overreacted.”

“Overreacted,” in his words, meant waiting for his wife to leave the house, grabbed an axe, and demolishing every valuable sight. He’d swung it through the TV, then taken it to a laptop and a few other choice possessions.

Then he went outside to the car. After a few discerning smashes -- including hacking off the side mirrors -- he slammed the blade so hard into the windshield it stuck. That’s where they found the weapon when the police pulled up -- sticking out of the car windshield like some kind of Wisconsinite Excalibur.

Read more: http://www.citypages.com/news/hubby-goes-on-axe-rampage-over-prized-action-figures-say-cops/504750062

Yeah that dude’s got nothing on Archer, by the way! Next up, we go to our favorite state of guess where, that’s right – Florida. I also live in California, which means that we do not have access to the great restaurant chain known as Waffle House. Which means we’re missing out on all the crazy people who hang out at Waffle House in the wee hours of the morning after they’ve been up on all night crystal meth tweaks:

According to a police report from the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office, a woman later identified as Freedom Zobrist was causing problems in the parking lot. A Waffle House employee had called authorities after noticing the woman had dropped her pants and was blocking traffic.

The employee told her to leave but she became “verbally abusive,” and threatened to retrieve her firearm and “shoot him in the face.” He said the unemployed Pensacola resident also threatened to shoot everyone in the diner.

The worker then said Zobrist walked in to the middle of the parking lot, yanked her pants down, “exposing her sexual organs,” and began to dance.

The employee then said the 38-year-old went over to him and tried to grab his genitals and “lick both sides of his face.”

Next up we go to New Hampshire for this one. Remember that episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry was being accused of having certain acts of a sexy time nature being performed while he was driving? Well, this is a case of life imitating art and one where the acts in question were being performed by professionals.

While stopped at a red light Tuesday afternoon, a New Hampshire motorist was living his best life, smoking crack cocaine and being fellated by a woman in the passenger seat, police report.

Manchester Police Department detectives spotted Michael Douville, 51, behind the wheel of a Chrysler 300 stopped at an intersection. Douville, a Nashua resident, was engaged in...illegal acts” at the time, cops allege.

When two detectives approached the vehicle and identified themselves, Douville sped off. He was subsequently apprehended by a third cop. His passenger, however, “fled the area and was not located,” investigators say.

Seen above, Douville was arrested on several charges, including lewdness, narcotics possession, and disobeying a police officer.

Ah, classic Larry! Finally this week we go to Boise, Idaho for this one. And I’m not making fun of the mass stabbing by the way. What I am making fun of is the fact that the guy who committed the mass stabbing wants to change his name to something completely ridiculous. That’s right – the guy who is accused of stabbing 9 people is going to change his name to this.

Timmy Earl Kinner Jr., accused of stabbing nine people in Boise last June, wants to change his name to Eternal Love, according to court records.

Kinner, who turned 31 last Friday, was granted a hearing on his petition at 1:30 p.m. March 19 before Judge Lynnette McHenry.

On the form that asked why he wanted to change his name, Kinner wrote: “because this is my God given right & the title I want to be known as & remembered by.”

In Idaho, name changes require a judge’s approval, and the state has strict laws about name changes meant to obscure association with crimes.

Yeah it’s about as ridiculous as having the name Creamy Goodness. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 27: The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms
[br] [/font]

Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! Oh hey and it’s another clip without context!

And Bill Mitchell sort of looks like a creepy serial killer. I mean I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if he recreates the “Goodnight Horses” scene from Silence Of The Lambs in his basement. Spin it again! Oh hey it’s time for Deep State Diaries!

It’s time for episode 27 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms[/font]

This week we’re gonna fire some guns, smoke some fine cigars and get drunk! Because we’re hanging out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms! Whew! So what does the ATF actually do? That is what we’re here to find out. So the ATF started as a joint venture between the FBI and the DOJ back after prohibition ended. Then they expanded to become their own branch of the law enforcement arm of the government back in the 1970s. So what do they do today? What is the role of the ATF? Well let’s see what they are in the news for this week! Well let’s just say that you want the ATF around in case of crime like this.

Close to 300 weapons stolen from gun shops across the metro Atlanta area in just a couple of months. ATF agents now say they can trace those stolen firearms back to one guy. Agents have linked the crimes to 31-year-old James Clifford Roberts, a convicted felon from Atlanta.

The gun store burglaries began Oct. 25, 2018. Stores in Jonesboro, Alpharetta, Buford, and Homer were hit. The biggest heist was at Hi-Caliber in Holly Springs. Crooks broke into that store in late November and took off with 180 guns.

When thieves broke into Deercreek Gun Shop in Marietta Suzette McCain, who lives across the street says she's the one who called the police.

"I saw the cars backed up behind the place. Like I told the Detective, it don't make sense they keep doing this," said McCain.

Police say they got away with 21 guns from Deercreek.

In all, 293 firearms were stolen from six stores in two months. Law Enforcement says the M-O was the same across the board. Prior to breaking in, the power to the build was cut, disabling surveillance cameras and alarms.

Hey sporting goods stores! If you’re going to sell guns, which is your right to do so, you’d better get some better security! And speaking of security, the ATF is pushing for some strong new measures to help fight future crimes. Thankfully we’re not in Minority Report territory yet but we’re getting very close to that.

A new nationwide push is changing the way officers collect evidence in an effort to solve violent crimes by connecting them, but the News4 I-Team found some departments aren't doing it — even though it could help solve crimes in neighboring cities.

"Gun violence is the most difficult thing that we have to deal with," said Metropolitan Police Department Chief Peter Newsham.

With 160 murders in D.C. last year, he knows the value of strong evidence. That's why his officers are required to pick up every shell casing, even if the call was just for sounds of gunfire. Years ago, that wasn't the case.

"If you arrived on the scene and nobody was injured and you didn't have a crime, then you would clear the scene with no report. Now, we handle it completely differently," said Newsham.

It's called comprehensive collection. The federal Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) calls D.C. one of the nation's leaders in doing it.

But you need strong evidence. Because you know what? In a country where we have more guns than people, we need to start addressing how many gun shops and sporting goods stores are being broken into, and the ATF needs all the tools they can get to prevent these sort of things from happening.

Federal authorities are offering a reward of up to $5,000 for information that helps them find those responsible for stealing firearms early Friday from the Cabela’s store in Kansas City, Kan.

The break-in alarm was reported just before 3 a.m. Friday at the store located at 10300 Cabela Drive. Several long guns were stolen, according to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives.

The agency says Cabela’s is a federally licensed firearms dealer. KCK police along with ATF agents in Kansas City are investigating the incident.

That is a good question, Chief! And by the way, in case you’re wondering why we have such draconian drug laws, how has it taken *THIS* long for the ATF to decide that maybe they’re not making us safer? I mean why not when we have this many people breaking into gun shops and sporting goods stores to steal guns like they’re in an Avengers or super hero movie! The answer is NO!!! They are not making us safer! This is the opposite of safe!

CHICAGO (CBS) — It took 16 years of work in the legislature, but Thursday Gov. JB Pritzker signed a landmark gun control bill into law.

With the signing of the law, Illinois solidified its position in the ranks with states like California, Connecticut, Massachusetts and New Jersey, which have some of the most comprehensive laws on the books.

Des Plaines gun dealer Dan Eldridge echoes concerns from critics of the law that the rules are onerous.

“They are duplicative of what we have with Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms,” Eldridge, the owner of Maxon Shooter Supplies, said.

California, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Jersey and, now, Illinois all require the background checks on employees. They all require that dealers are licensed by the state. And also like the law Pritzker signed Thursday, they require certain security measures like proper storage.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: B-
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Assuming our government is still open, next week’s Deep State Diaries is going to keep the drug train going as we hang out with the DEA!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Greta Van Fleet[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is an awesome band from Frankenmuth, Michigan. Their latest album is called “Anthem Of The Peaceful Army”. You can see them on tour this April and May. Playing their song “You’re The One”, give it up for Greta Van Fleet!

Thank you Salt Lake City! We had a great time on this very short tour, we are back home in Anaheim next week. See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Wiseguys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, UT
Special Thanks To: Wiseguys Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Bethel Church Band, Salt Lake City
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Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 30, 2019, 06:00 PM (2 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-3: Thursday Night's All Right (For Fighting) Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-3: Thursday Night’s All Right (For Fighting) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Sign up for our new unlimited plan today, get 4 free phones and unlimited gigs! What’s up Vegas???? Oh it is good to be back! I do love this city, it’s a home away from home for me! But I think this is the first time we’ve done a Vegas show and we’ve also done one on Fremont St at that. I love Fremont St – it’s the Strip without Strip. I mean come on, we got the Heart Attack Grill right next door, what more could you want? Congratulations to the LA Rams on winning the NFC championship and going to the Super Bowl!!! Sorry Saints fans, you put up a good fight and you can rest easier knowing you don't have to go to the White House to eat McDonalds. Do I really have to congratulate the Patriots though? Yeah BOOO those guys! Do we have time for the thing? We’ve talked quite a bit about gender reveals on this program including the absolutely ridiculous one in Arizona last year that started one of the world’s largest brush fires. There have been all kinds of ways to reveal your forthcoming child's gender and that includes everything from shooting off balloons to fireworks to colored powdered gas. Yeah let's give your guests the impression that they're getting gassed. What a great idea! Not. And why not? It's about as ridiculous of a concept as the Promposal, and really don't get me started on this crap that's designed really to get likes on your social media accounts like promposals, gender reveal parties, and pictures of ridiculous food combinations like chocolate sprinkle donut cheeseburgers. And this gender reveal party really is a combination of the two. Now they’re getting into ridiculous territory. Yes that's right - now. I said now, damn it! So why am I so angry about this? Because there’s New York-based chain restaurant Villa Pizza Kitchen that has started this insane trend that we really hope doesn't become a thing, and people hate it. What is it you might ask? It's gender reveal lasagna! Yes, your lasagna can be made blue or pink to reveal your new baby's gender, and it looks like a science experiment! In fact you wanna be grossed out? Let’s show a picture of it!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Man that looks appetizing doesn’t it? Cheese with blue or pink food coloring to reveal your baby’s gender! Why am I reminded of that scene from Vegas Vacation where Cousin Eddie takes Clark to the $1.49 all you can eat buffet?

Excuse me a minute… hey that doesn’t look like chicken! OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first Bill Maher is back (YAY!!!!!) and his first New Rule of the year pointed out the 800 pound gorilla in the room:

Ed. Note: Unfortunately we wont get to the SCOTUS ruling on Trump’s transgender military ban this week so we will have to wait until next week. Now back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Holy shit was last week quite the doozy! We might need a slot just to recap all the insanity and I think that’s what we’re going to do, especially with the Trump vs Pelosi debacle and Trump (1) going full asshole and revoking her travel privileges, and may have outed a secret diplomatic mission. In the second slot is also Donald Trump (2). So if you noticed over the weekend was the March For Life in Washington, DC and a group of boys from a Catholic school in Kentucky were the spotlight as they were wearing MAGA hats and making racist taunts. Of course their repeated attempts to justify their actions don’t help their cause. In the third slot this week is the guy who might become America’s next attorney general William Barr (3) and well he’s a perfect Trump cabinet pick. By perfect we mean SAD! Taking the fourth slot this week, we have a new installment of “People Who Somehow Got Elected” and this week we’re going to add Oklahoma’s new holier-than-thou governor Kevin Stitt (4) to that ever growing list. For the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates and we’re going to take a good, hard look at the LAUSD teacher’s strike (5) and what it means for the future of LAUSD. In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive into something unheard of – mixing religion and politics, but specifically did Liberty University rig the polls to favor the Dark One? We shall find out! In the seventh slot this week, we’ve got a new installment of “Beating A Dead Horse” (7) and we’re going to break down the extremely controversial new Gillette ad that has everyone’s underwear in a wad from both sides of the aisle. For the 8th slot this week, we have a new installment of We’re All Gonna Die, and if last week's Super Blood Wolf Moon wasn't a sign of the end times, wait until you see what the apocalypse has in store for you, courtesy of Russia and North Korea! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we’ve got a brand new installment of “I Need A Drink” and we’re in Vegas a city known for bad decisions made while drinking, and the shut down is affecting the craft beer industry big time, and we will get to the bottom of it! Finally this week we’ve got a brand new installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries (10) is going to show the governing body of our money and economic system, The Fed! Plus our good friends The Claypool Lennon Delirium are back with some new tunes! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Trump vs Pelosi
[br] [/font]

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday night’s all right for fighting yeah!!! Sorry, I was channeling my inner Elton John there for a minute. Yeah so last week it was a Trump vs Nancy Pelosi brew ha ha. You know what? Let’s do it this way instead! In this corner, weighing allegedly at 239 pounds, he loves hamburders and fast food, the guy who is currently the president of the United States, Donald J. Trump! And in this corner, the woman who has been tasked with keeping our country from going to shit, the new speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi! Let’s get ready to rumble!!!

In a Sunday morning tweetstorm, President Donald Trump lashed out at Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Democrats for rejecting his proposal offering temporary protections to some undocumented immigrants in exchange for $5.7 billion in border security funding.

The president accused Pelosi of behaving "irrationally” for turning down his offer.

“Nancy Pelosi has behaved so irrationally & has gone so far to the left that she has now officially become a Radical Democrat. She is so petrified of the ‘lefties’ in her party that she has lost control.”

He added in another tweet, “Nancy Pelosi and some of the Democrats turned down my offer yesterday before I even got up to speak. They don’t see crime & drugs, they only see 2020 - which they are not going to win.”

During an address on Saturday in the Diplomatic Room of the White House, the president presented what he called a “compromise” bill aimed at reopening the government, securing border wall funding, and providing legal protections for some undocumented immigrants. When details of the proposal leaked to the press ahead of the president’s announcement, Democrats swiftly panned the offer as dead on arrival because it did not offer permanent protections for some immigrants. Pelosi called Trump’s proposal a “non-starter.”

Shut up!!!!! If you really were serious about crime and drugs you’d start prosecuting the pharmaceutical companies who peddle addictive opioids and the for profit prisons who lock people for the pettiest of crimes! Those are the people who are really bringing crime and drugs into our streets. And you know Trump is a guy who loves to rub salt in the wound. Think of it like Lucy pulling the football from Charlie Brown and then she spits in his face and kicks him in the ribs as he’s lying on the ground.

President Trump early Sunday sought to sell his new immigration proposal, which includes funding for a wall along the southern border and extended protection for certain immigrant groups, amid pushback from Democrats and hard-line conservatives.

In a series of tweets, Trump chastised Democrats for dismissing his plan, and attempted to assuage immigration hard-liners who likened the administration's latest proposal to amnesty for immigrants already in the country illegally.

"No, Amnesty is not a part of my offer," Trump tweeted. "It is a 3 year extension of DACA. Amnesty will be used only on a much bigger deal, whether on immigration or something else. Likewise there will be no big push to remove the 11,000,000 plus people who are here illegally-but be careful Nancy!"

In two other tweets, Trump singled out Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) for her opposition to the proposal, calling her a "Radical Democrat" and blaming her for the condition of the streets in San Francisco, which falls in her congressional district.

Trump called on Pelosi and Democrats to "do the right thing for the Country & allow people to go back to work" as a partial government shutdown triggered by his demand for wall funding stretched into its 30th day.

I think that would defy all laws of physics wouldn’t it? But in case you’re wondering if Trump’s plan would end this ridiculous shutdown? Well guess what? That ain’t happening! I’m shocked, shocked I tell you! Guess what government? You just got Art Of The Deal’d!!!

It should be good news that both President Donald Trump's Republicans and Speaker Nancy Pelosi's Democrats plan to vote to reopen the government this week.

But since they are voting on vastly different plans, this new phase of their confrontation is more likely to expose the gulf between them than to end the longest federal shutdown in history anytime soon.

Trump on Saturday made his most significant move yet in an impasse now nearly a month in by offering temporary protections for some undocumented immigrants in return for $5.7 billion in funding for his border wall.

As Republicans see it, Trump's speech from the White House is a statesmanlike effort to meet Democrats halfway in a bid to end the partial government shutdown.

"This is a common-sense compromise both parties should embrace," Trump said.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… as if Trump cares about common sense! That’s a good one! Be sure to catch that joke and many others in Trump’s new standup comedy album “Me Standing In Front Of A Wall”, available in the bargain bin of your local Wal-Mart today! And by the way in case you’re wondering who is winning this fight, let’s just say that Trump is Art Of The Dealing himself! He’s winning, you know, in the Charlie Sheen sense of winning.

Nancy Pelosi is winning her showdown with President Trump for one simple reason: She knows how to do her job better than he knows how to do his.

The House speaker is fond of three precepts; spend time with her and you’ll hear them all. One is from Abraham Lincoln: “Public sentiment is everything. With it, nothing can fail; against it, nothing can succeed.”

The second is from her father, an old-school Democratic mayor of Baltimore: “Votes are the coin of the realm.” The third is her own: Never underestimate Nancy Pelosi.

In this battle, she’s winning — and Trump’s losing — on all three counts.

Since the president forced the partial shutdown of the federal government on Dec. 22, public sentiment has run against him and the wall he wants to build on the border with Mexico.


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[font size="8"]Nick Sandmann
[br] [/font]

This weekend was the annual gathering of religious conservative white males who want to tell women how to control their bodies known as the “March For Life”. Yes it’s the DC protest where they call on governments to end that thing known as abortion once and for all. But this weekend was different because for once, all the attention was taken off abortion and the debate for or against it. So what happened? Well it’s a complicated story but there was a brew ha ha between boys from a Catholic school in Covington, Kentucky (who, not surprisingly, were wearing MAGA hats) and a Native American Vietnam vet. So let’s let the story do the talking first.

A crowd of students surrounds the Native American man, laughing and filming on cell phones. One boy, wearing a red Make America Great Again hat, stands just inches away from the man's drum, staring at him with a wide smile.

Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder participating in the Indigenous Peoples March, keeps drumming and singing.

The jeers of the students – and Phillips' stoic response – were captured in a video that has sparked widespread criticism and drawn an apology from a Kentucky prep school and diocese.

The students and Phillips had both converged in Washington, D.C., last Friday. The students, a group of boys from Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky, were there to attend the March for Life. Phillips had come for the first-ever Indigenous Peoples March, on the same day.

Videos show a number of young men and women, predominantly white, jumping, cheering and chanting, in a dense circle around Phillips. Many are wearing Trump paraphernalia, and some are wearing clothing associated with the Covington high school.

Yes, wait a minute hold up. I mean is anyone really surprised at this point that Trump supporters would hurl racist insults and mock Native Americans who were participating in their own march? If you are, you’re either a Trump supporter or you’ve been in a coma. So let’s move the camera back a bit and see what’s in the background?

After short clips of an incident between students from Covington Catholic High School and a man at the Indigenous Peoples March in Washington D.C. went viral Saturday, people are now sharing full-length clips of the incident.

People across social media have responded to the video saying it shows the students were provoked and that the man put himself in that position. One video is almost two hours long.

The indigenous man, Nathan Phillips, said he stepped in to diffuse the crowd of students who were interacting with a group he identified as the Black Hebrew Israelites. Phillips is a Vietnam veteran and Native American elder of the Omaha tribe.

In an interview with the Detroit Free Press, Phillips said the incident started as the Covington Catholic students were observing a group of Black Hebrew Israelites talk, and started to get upset at their speeches.

Phillips said some of the members of the Black Hebrew Israelites group were also acting up, "saying some harsh things" and that one member spit in the direction of the Catholic students.

"So I put myself in between that, between a rock and hard place," Phillips said.

The Enquirer has not verified the identity of the person who took and posted the video. One video seems to be posted by a member of the Black Hebrew Israelites.

And yes that did escalate very quickly! I mean this is why you don’t hold conflicting rallies on the same day, it will never end well for either side. But Mr. Sandmann might be vying for a job on Fox News or AM radio. But well his mom definitely didn’t help the situation at all.

The mother of a boy filmed harassing a Native American man along with his friends at a rally in Washington DC has blamed “black Muslims” for the confrontation, without providing any evidence for the claim.

The teenager was among a group of students wearing Make America Great Again hats who were criticised for intimidating the musician Nathan Phillips, surrounding him to jeer and chant “build the wall, build the wall”.

But his mother claimed “black Muslims” had been harassing the group of Donald Trump supporters from the private, all-male Covington Catholic High School in Kentucky.

In an email to the news website Heavy.com, she wrote: “Did you hear the names of the people where (sic) calling these boys? It was shameful. Did you witness the black Muslims yelling profanities and video taping to get something to futher (sic) your narrative of hatred??

“Did you know that this “man” came up to this one boy and drummed in his face?”

OK maybe the mom isn’t helping the situation. But what about Mr. Sandmann himself in this situation – what was actually happening? Well when you see a group of Trump supporters out in the public square – and in this case, Washington DC, why confront them? You know it’s going to end as badly as it started, think of it like the scene in Stepbrothers where they first meet. And people, stop with the doxing and death threats already. That’s not helping the situation!

Sandmann says he and his family have received threats in the wake of the viral incident at the Lincoln Memorial, and released the statement to correct the "outright lies" about him.

Sandmann said his group was approached by the protesters, some of whom insulted Sandmann and fellow students.

The Indigenous Peoples March in Washington on Friday coincided with the March for Life, which drew thousands of anti-abortion protesters, including a group from Covington Catholic High School in Park Hills.

Videos circulating online show a youth -- who Sandmann says is him -- staring at and standing extremely close to an elderly Native American who was singing and playing a drum.

That Native American man has been identified as Nathan Phillips, an Omaha elder and Vietnam veteran who holds an annual ceremony honoring Native American veterans at Arlington National Cemetery.

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[font size="8"]William Barr
[br] [/font]

Hey anyone remember the guy who used to be attorney general – Mr. I’m Too Southern himself - Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III? Well, he got eliminated from the Trumper Games and now we’re about to meet his replacement – William Barr. In case you’re wondering where you have heard that name before, back in the 90s, William Barr is the guy who made mass incarceration great again. Yes, he’s that guy. So now the question is, if he’s the top law enforcement guy in the country, would he be prepared to take on that subject?

In 1992, William Barr, now President Donald Trump's nominee for attorney general, helped engineer regulations that led to mass incarceration. And last week’s Senate confirmation hearings made it clear: In this new age of bipartisan criminal justice reform, calls for more progressive policing and efforts to lower incarceration, Barr is not the man to tear down what he built up.

At no point was that clearer than during an exchange Tuesday with Sen. Cory Booker, D-N.J.

When Booker asked about racial bias within the criminal justice system, and whether Barr recognized how much his policies had damaged the black community, the nominee stated that there may be pockets of racism "but ... overall ... as a system ... it's not predicated" on race and racism.

That's a shocking statement from a candidate for the top law enforcement office in the United States. In order to ensure equal protection under the law, one has to recognize that such protection is — and historically has been — unequal. Barr has failed to do so.

So now you know that William Barr is the guy who made mass incarceration great again. What does he think of unchecked executive power? Never before in United States history have we been under an executive who’s also a crook.

By all accounts, William Barr, President Donald Trump’s nominee for the position of attorney general, is a lawyer of integrity, decency and competence. For that reason, his memorandum of June 8, 2018, raising serious constitutional doubts about Robert Mueller’s investigation, is baffling — a genuine head-scratcher.

It is important to understand exactly why.

Barr has legitimate concerns. The legal definition of “obstruction of justice” is far from clear. Under federal law, a person is guilty of obstruction if he corruptly:

(1) “alters, destroys, mutilates, or conceals a record, document, or other object, or attempts to do so, with the intent to impair the object’s integrity or availability for use in an official proceeding,” or

(2) “otherwise obstructs, influences, or impedes any official proceeding, or attempts to do so.”

Barr is deeply worried about the meaning of (2). His concern is that a broad understanding of (2) would have “disastrous” implications. In his view, it could potentially become a crime for the president, the attorney general or some lower-level official to call for the exercise of prosecutorial discretion, to give some direction about how to handle a case, or to manage litigation and enforcement.

Oh and by the way, speaking of flip flopping, remember when Jeff Sessions promised to do a hard 180 from the way the rest of the country was going on medical marijuana? Well, Mr. Barr looks to stay the course on marijuana rather than continue the route that Sessions was taking. It’s not all bad!

Until the confirmation hearings last week for President Trump’s attorney general nominee William Barr, the cannabis industry had collectively been holding its breath. After the hearings, everyone breathed a slight sigh of relief.

Given former Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ tenure, expectations were understandably low for Trump’s AG pick, despite Trump’s occasional statements of support for medical cannabis. Sessions has been openly hostile to the sector in his words and in at least one major deed.

More than a year ago, Sessions rescinded the Cole memorandum, an Obama-era guideline for the U.S. Department of Justice that directed U.S. attorneys to refrain from enforcing federal cannabis laws against cannabis businesses operating in states where marijuana was legalized in some form and that had effective regulatory and enforcement regimes. Although Sessions never translated his views into a policy of DOJ prosecution during his time in office, the rescission injected a great deal of new uncertainty and concern in the sector.

This is why Barr’s statements about cannabis brought some comfort to the legal marijuana sector.

To Barr’s credit, while not pledging outright to restore the Cole memo, he said in his hearing that he would “not [] go after companies that have relied on the Cole memorandum” nor would he “upset settled expectations and reliant interests” related to it.

Well apparently we have to too, chief. And there’s one more thing about Mr. Barr – you know we’re quickly learning how much republicans are working (and that’s the only work they do) to undermine and obstruct the Mueller investigation. Well, Barr has made the statement that he will allow the investigation to continue. Um… you’re fired.

William Barr, nominated to succeed ousted Attorney General Jeff Sessions, strongly proclaimed his independence from political influence Tuesday.

Barr asserted that President Donald Trump exacted no promises of favoritism and that he would not direct the Justice Department as an extension of the White House.

In a confirmation hearing remarkable for its congeniality, the 68-year-old nominee and attorney general under President George H.W. Bush, provided unflinching assurances that he would allow Russia special counsel Robert Mueller to complete the investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

“I’m in a position in life to provide the leadership necessary to protect the independence of this department,” Barr told the Senate Judiciary Committee. “I won’t do anything that I think is wrong; I won’t be bullied into doing anything I think is wrong.”

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[font size="8"]Kevin Stitt
[br] [/font]

Politicians at the state, national and local levels who are so toxic that you ever wonder how they were able to get into office, much less stay there. This is:

This week: Oklahoma’s new governor Kevin Stitt. If there’s one thing republicans think they can do and do well, it’s run the government like a business. But the government is not a business. And some things just don’t make money. The sooner we accept that as a society the better. They also think that they can mix religion and politics. That’s something that never mixes well and sits in a puddle like when you mix olive oil and vinegar. So how has the two weeks since the inaguaration gone for the new governor of Oklahoma?

Oklahoma's CEO-turned-governor Kevin Stitt rocketed from virtually unknown in politics a year ago to the state's highest office, largely on his reputation as an outsider with no experience in elected office or state government.

Aided by millions of his own money, the Tulsa mortgage company owner defeated formidable GOP primary opponents, including a popular Oklahoma City mayor and a two-term lieutenant governor, before coasting to a 12-point lead over his Democratic opponent in this month's midterm elections.

But Stitt now must pivot from campaigning to governing, a delicate balancing act that requires working with an ideologically diverse Legislature. That has proven difficult for some other business leaders in other states, such as Illinois, who shifted into politics. Unlike the CEO of a company that can hire and fire top executives at will, Stitt faces the reality of being the leader in a weak-governor state, where it can take years to put his own appointees on various agency governing boards.

"One thing people find out once they get involved in politics is that there are some awfully big egos involved," said outgoing state Auditor Gary Jones, a former chairman of the Oklahoma Republican Party who ran against Stitt in the primary. "Being able to work with the House and Senate is going to take some skills."

But… but… elections have consequences. We herd a guy say that on TV once. Of course you are going to get some massive egos in politics. Especially when you start combining politics with religion and running the government like a business. Think of it like that episode of Seinfeld where George tries to combine all of his vices at once.

Newly elected Republican Gov. Kevin Stitt of Oklahoma attended an “Inaugural Prayer Service” today, during which declared that it is his mission to align the state “with what God is doing in Oklahoma,” while his wife proclaimed that it is their responsibility as Christians to use their position in elected office “to go our into our state and save people and bring people to” Jesus.

Trump-loving right-wing evangelist Lance Wallnau was in the audience at today’s prayer service and posted video of the Stitt’s remarks on his Facebook page.

“Every time I would go to prayer and I would say, ‘Lord, what do you want me to do?’ I just felt like he kept saying, ‘I already told you what to do,'” Stitt told the congregation as he recounted his decision to run for governor. “So finally I surrendered … It’s just amazing, nothing in the natural says that I’m supposed to be right here … I’m just so honored to be your governor and I just want to encourage you, when God puts anything on your hearts or on your children’s hearts, we can do anything we put our minds to.”

“I am so excited,” he continued. “It’s not about me. This is something, I pray and I tell our team when we get together, we have an opportunity to join in with what God is doing in Oklahoma … We’re going to engage the non-profits and the churches to really heal and solve some of these social issues, county by county, that the government can’t do, no law can do, but our Heavenly Father can do.”

Because just remember – it’s not about us, or you, or him. It’s about GAWD and doing GAWD’s bidding, and you always know how that turns out. Just ask our resident pastor. But in case you’re wondering what side Gov. Stitt is on, just remember that Mr. I’m More Oklahoma Than Thou, Toby Keith, performed at his inauguration. Remember the last time we saw Mr. Keith? That’s right, the orb.

Country music star and Oklahoma native Toby Keith will be among the performers at a series of events marking the inauguration of incoming Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt.

The three inaugural events will take place between Jan. 10 and Jan. 14 in Lawton, Oklahoma City and Tulsa. Stitt announced Tuesday that Keith would be performing at the Oklahoma City inaugural ball on Jan. 14.

Other performers at the Oklahoma City event include the Oklahoma City Philharmonic, the Cherokee Youth Choir and country singer Jimmie Allen.

Tickets are $250-per-person for the black-tie affair.

Stitt, a Republican and political newcomer, defeated Democrat Drew Edmondson in the November election.

And you might be wondering what sort of issues does Gov. Stitt stand on? He’s a relative newcomer to the scene. Well, guess what? He’s full anti vaccination crusader. Yes, that’s right he is full on anti-vaxxer and believes that vaccines cause autism. Yup, that’s your new governor of Oklahoma.

The Republican nominee for Governor in Oklahoma expressed skepticism of childhood vaccinations in a speech earlier this year, aligning himself with a fringe movement that equates immunization with government overreach.

At an appearance before a conservative political forum this past February, Tulsa businessman Kevin Stitt said he personally did not vaccinate some his own kids and opposed legislation that would require vaccinations for children if they wanted to attend public schools.

“I believe in choice,” Stitt said, “And we’ve got six children and we don’t vaccinate, we don’t do vaccinations on all of our children. So we definitely pick and choose which ones we’re gonna do. It’s gotta be up to the parents, we can never mandate that. I think there’s legislation right now that are trying to mandate that to go to public schools, it’s absolutely wrong. My wife was home schooled, I went to public schools, our kids go to Christian school, and that’s back to a parent’s choice.”

Stitt’s comments raise the specter that Oklahoma could water down immunization laws should he be elected the state’s governor this fall. They also place him within a growing fringe of politicians who have, in recent years, expressed skepticism over the prevalence of childhood vaccinations—a group that includes President Donald Trump himself.

That’s Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt – another one to add to the ever growing list of:

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: LA Teacher’s Strike
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

While the US government is in the midst of one of the worst shutdowns in government history, at the local level teachers are experiencing some of the worst working conditions the country has ever seen, and one district has taken their complaints to the next level and gone on strike. But now that the strike is tentatively over, the question that remains is why? Why did it happen? What are the striking teachers attempting to accomplish? Well the working conditions and teacher salaries paint a pretty abysmal picture in the Los Angeles Unified School District.

If striking Los Angeles teachers needed an omen as they rallied in Grand Park downtown Friday, Mother Nature obliged. After four days of picketing in rain and chill and gloom, the sun burst forth.

“Do you feel your power?” union President Alex Caputo-Pearl asked the masses, who stretched from the steps of City Hall through Grand Park all the way to the Music Center.

They thundered their response.

Union treasurer Alex Orozco reminded teachers that bargaining teams could hear them on the other side of the stage, inside City Hall.

Thousands raised fists, thrust signs skyward and chanted: “Let’s go, team! Let’s go, team!”

With the celebrity help of singer Aloe Blacc, musician Tom Morello and actor Sean Astin, teachers made noise and memories — and also made their point.

Yes, sun’s out guns out! These teachers braved the pouring rain – which rarely happens in Los Angeles anymore – to get better pay and working conditions. But just how bad did things get in the LA school system?

Some San Fernando Valley parents were on pins and needles this weekend to see if marathon negotiations would yield a deal to end a strike that entered its seventh day Sunday.

“I am grateful that the negotiations are underway,” said EvelynAleman, parent of a sophomore at Grover Cleveland High School inReseda. “I’m hopeful that they will, obviously, reach an agreement assoon as possible. I think that would be best for everyone.”

Weekend negotiations lasted 11 hours on Saturday and began anew after 10 a.m. Sunday. While there were no breakthroughs — at least publicly — L.A Mayor Garcetti’s own hope — and expectation — for a deal was evident on Saturday, when he noted the strike while addressing a huge crowd at the women’s march: “They deserve justice and we will get it this weekend,” he said. “Let’s hear it for the teachers.”

Aleman hoped for a message of unity and collaboration from leadership on both sides, and at the city, county and state level. She was surprised by school board member Scott Schmerelson’s statement released last week, which highlighted the discord on the board. She hoped he would have explained how he would “lead the conversation in the direction of the resolution,” she said.

Yes it’s pretty much like that. Once again, the Simpsons predict the future! While we’re hopeful that things are on the right track, negotiations have started that could see the strike ending as early as today with teachers going back to work later this week. So what is in store?

Los Angeles public school teachers reached a tentative deal with school officials on Tuesday to end a weeklong strike that had upended learning for more than half a million students in the nation’s second largest public school system.

The teachers won a 6 percent pay raise and caps on class sizes, which had become one of the most contentious issues between the union and district officials. The deal also includes hiring full-time nurses for every school, as well as enough librarians for every middle and high school in the district by the fall of 2020.

The city and county will also expand programs into public schools, providing more support services for the neediest students.

The settlement came after tens of thousands of teachers marched in downtown Los Angeles and picketed outside schools for six school days, and after a round of marathon negotiating sessions over the holiday weekend.

But as history shows us, our teachers have a long way to go before they’re out of the woods. Rising rent costs in the greater Los Angeles area and things like taxes and other necessary expenditures have hurt growth. And we can hopefully think that things are going to get better as we move forward from this strike.

In a highly anticipated move that for key organizers has been years in the making, more than 30,000 educators on Monday kicked off a strike that’s put regular K–12 classes on hiatus in the country’s second-largest public-school district. A whopping 98 percent of L.A. teachers, who because of stalled negotiations with the district have been working without a contract for more than a year, voted to authorize the strike. They are demanding smaller class sizes and more funding for support staff such as counselors and nurses. They’re also calling for higher pay, though that is less of a sticking point now that the district and teachers’ union are all but in agreement on this front, with the former offering raises that are just 0.5 percent lower than the 6 percent hikes educators are demanding.

Rodolfo Dueńas, an L.A. native and public-school teacher who is picketing, describes this burgeoning movement as a natural next step for the many Latinos like him whose activism can be traced back to the mid-1990s, when thousands of Latino teens staged a school walkout in opposition to an anti-immigrant state-ballot initiative known as Proposition 187. For many like Dueńas in the “187 Generation,” those experiences eventually drove them into teaching. And Dueńas’s generation has been following in the footsteps of the Latino education activists who came before them, during the 1968 walkouts known by some as the Mexican Student Movement.

The L.A. strike is the latest teacher uprising in a string of walkouts across the country over the past year. Strikes took place in Republican strongholds including West Virginia, Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Arizona last spring, all of them generally calling for increased funding and improved school conditions on top of better pay and benefits; smaller-scale walkouts also took place in Colorado and, just last month, Chicago, when teachers at a predominantly Latino charter-school network went on strike to demand things like smaller class sizes and stronger support for immigrant children. While the L.A. strike, which is United Teachers Los Angeles’s first strike in almost 30 years, is the latest installment of a trend driven by exasperated educators, various factors make it unique.

There you have it – Los Angeles isn’t alone, there are strikes happening all over the country. We will cover those in future editions. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Las Vegas! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! Have a seat please! And give it up for our gospel choir, how great are they? You know… I have just returned from Washington DC. This week there was an event that the religious right of America felt the need to have their voices heard. Which is their right under GAWD that they can do that. So what has the fundamentalists’ underwear in a wad? Why are they going so nuts over this one topic that they need to hold their OWN march? Well let’s take a look at what actually happened last week that got lost in the headlines!

Conservative radio host Ben Shapiro said Friday at the annual March for Life rally in Washington, D.C., that "no pro-life person would kill baby Hitler" because "baby Hitler was a baby," with the comments quickly going viral on social media.

“The argument, I guess here, is that would you kill baby Hitler?” Shapiro said in answering a question that appeared to be submitted online during a live broadcast at the anti-abortion rally.

“And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler, because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler, adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby," he continued.

"What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house where he would not grow up to be Hitler, right? That’s the idea.”

The hashtag #BabyHitler began trending on Twitter not long after the comments on Friday afternoon, drawing the ire of mostly liberals on the platform.


Yes. You know what? Let’s play the clip because it’s quite spectacular:

Now you know, my fair congregation, it says that in the Good Book that murder is illegal! But… that hasn’t stopped the Baby Hitler debate. In fact if you take a look at some past clips, judging on the actions of this weekend, well, they haven’t aged well.

So there you go, the very idea that murdering Baby Hitler has been the subject of some rather interesting debate. But the debate over killing Baby Hitler is actually pretty toxic for sponsors – they really don’t want anything to do with it.

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro has now lost two sponsors of his podcast after a live recording at an anti-abortion rally in which he read advertisements out to the crowd and also mulled over the philosophical dilemma of killing “baby Hitler.”

Calm, a sleep and meditation phone app, became the second company to drop its sponsorship of Shapiro after the right-wing host appeared before thousands of abortion opponents during Friday’s March for Life rally in Washington, D.C.

“We do not align with this message,” the company posted on Twitter. “We’re pulling our sponsorship.”

Earlier Friday night, another brand, the toothbrush maker Quip, told HuffPost it was ending its sponsorship of Shapiro’s podcast over the ad readings.

“Our mission is to make good oral health more accessible to everyone, and podcast advertising is one way we’re able to realize this,” Quip said in a statement. “However, following one of our ads being read in a venue we did not endorse, we have chosen to discontinue our advertising relationship with this show. We are also taking steps to ensure all of our advertising partners are aligned with our oral health mission and values.”

Right Wing Watch reporter Jared Holt first drew attention to the ad readouts during an appearance that had already made news over Shapiro’s “baby Hitler” moment.

But while this is a touchy subject for advertisers, it’s apparently a touchy subject for Mr. Shapiro himself because thanks to his anti-abortion views, he wouldn’t kill Baby Hitler because… he’s a baby. That’s sound logic there!

Conservative commentator Ben Shapiro, appearing Friday as the keynote speaker of the annual March for Life on the National Mall in Washington, shared with his audience a head-scratching scenario about abortion and Adolf Hitler.

“The argument, I guess here, would you kill baby Hitler?” he started off, in a clip posted to Twitter. “And the truth is that no pro-life person on earth would kill baby Hitler. Because baby Hitler wasn’t Hitler — adult Hitler was Hitler. Baby Hitler was a baby.”

Shapiro, who is Jewish, offered a suggestion: “What you presumably want to do with baby Hitler is take baby Hitler out of baby Hitler’s house and move baby Hitler into a better house, where he would not grow up to be Hitler.”

The crowd erupted into applause as the clip closed.

Shapiro, a prominent supporter of the pro-life movement, appeared to be making his remarks as part of his popular podcast, HuffPost reported.

By the way let’s hear it for my gospel choir. How great are they? Can I get an amen??? Anyone remember a few years ago when Pat Robertson had that clip about the mom who lost a baby to miscarriage and then he justified it? Let’s play that!

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOO! Boo indeed. So they’re conflicted on the message TO THIS DAY in case you can’t tell! And by the way in case you’re wondering if there really is a Baby Hitler out there, well here’s your answer!

A Neo-Nazi couple who named their child after Adolf Hitler are facing jail after they were found guilty of belonging to a banned terrorist organisation.

Adam Thomas, 22, and his girlfriend, Claudia Patatas, 38, were convicted of being members of the far-right organisation National Action, which was outlawed in 2016.

Birmingham Crown Court heard the pair gave their baby the middle name “Adolf”, which self-confessed racist Thomas told jurors was done in “admiration” for the leader of Nazi Germany.

A third defendant - a prominent member of National Action's Midlands chapter, Daniel Bogunovic, 27, of Leicester, was also convicted on Monday following the seven-week trial.

So there really is a real Baby Hitler out there! Raised by Neo Nazis at that! Well, there’s a test for this debate right now! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The Gillette Ad
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Shut up! Yeah you! Don’t leave! Hey I’m talking to you on both sides! Can we please take a step back, take a deep breath and pull our heads out of each other’s asses? So there’s a new commercial for Gillette razors that has everyone’s collective boxers, boxer briefs, tidy whities, panties, thongs, shapewear, and Depends undergarments in wads and has reignited the ages old debate between toxic masculinism and toxic feminism. Why is this 90 second ad so controversial? Is it because it encourages ultra masculine males to be nice in their lives for once? Or is it trying to reach across the aisle and do something that no ad has done before – and actually attempt to bridge the gender gap? Well you can definitely *NOT* count on it doing the latter. And maybe the former too. So let’s show the commercial first.

That’s not so bad is it? I mean it’s literally putting Gillette’s money where their mouth is by encouraging men to be the best they can get. So why does it have everyone’s underwear in a wad?

Gillette’s new ad campaign invoking the #MeToo movement is the latest test of how big consumer brands can navigate social movements to appeal to millennials without turning off customers who don’t agree with their message or don’t believe it is well-executed.

The nearly two-minute ad from Procter & Gamble Co.’s Gillette tries to tackle sexual harassment, bullying and “toxic” masculinity. “Is this the best a man can get?” the ad released online Monday asks.

The ad, which plays on the tagline Gillette has used for three decades, “The Best A Man Can Get,” has been viewed about 17 million times on YouTube. Reaction has been divided: with 833,000 dislikes on YouTube and 421,000 likes as of Thursday morning.

In the first three days of the ad’s release, there have been more than 1.6 million mentions of Gillette on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, as well as blogs, forums and news sites, according to data from Brandwatch, a social-media monitoring company. Tuesday had the most mentions with more than 893,000, above Gillette’s daily average of about 1,300 mentions for the previous 25 days.


Oh calm down people! It’s just an ad for razors, it’s not like they’re encouraging men to wear tights and high heels or anything. Although if they did, we would have no problem with that! Because that’s what we do here – we analyze the situation before flinging mud at it. But the men that this is targeting really have a problem with this ad. I mean for guys who love to rail on snowflakes, they really are a bunch of snowflakes aren’t they?

The enlightened ad debuted earlier this week and recasts the razor company’s “The Best a Man Can Get” slogan, urging the next generation of men to oppose harassing and mistreating women, stop bullying one another and shave off their “toxic masculinity.” Watch it below.

The company’s short film drew both praise from women’s groups and a backlash from men. As Colbert notes, one such man was “Fox & Friends” co-host Brian Kilmeade, who said, “So let’s point out all the bad things you might say about men, put them into an ad, make men feel horrible, and then say, ‘Overpay for a razor.’”

“Wow, he really gets worked up about ads,” Colbert quipped, joking about what Kilmeade’s reaction might be to other directives. “‘Please drink responsibly? Oh, so now I’m not supposed to crash my car into a nursing home, stumble out and puke in the therapy pool? Thanks for the lecture, Mike’s Hard Lemonade!’”

Colbert said he was “sincerely moved” by the Gillette ad, particularly by the boys featured at the end, but still asked: “Are our public institutions so weak that we need to be taught moral lessons by razor companies? Because first it’s Gillette, and the next thing you know, every company is going to try to jump on the woke bandwagon.”

Well you know, Stephen, let me do some man ‘splainin here. Gillette’s not the first one to do a “woke” ad. Remember last year when Nike hired Colin Kaepernick to be their spokesman and Fox News viewers got worked up for that? This is just another in a list of things that get people “triggered”. And speaking of triggering, everyone’s favorite Fox News Barbie, Tomi Lahren, attempted to troll the ad and it backfired on her big time! Yes, I do realize that last joke was sexist, but that’s what this whole thing is about! Does that make me woke?

Right-wing activist and Fox News contributor Tomi Lahren has a habit of making grand statements on Twitter and then being thoroughly owned for them.

Previous self-owns include the time when she said that she didn't listen to celebrities despite being a Trump supporter and when she was fact-checked by an 11-year-old girl over claims about money spent on the proposed border wall.

Lahren has now waded into the debate surrounding the new Gillette advert, which has created a huge backlash against the razor blade company from men's rights activists and people of a right-wing persuasion.

The advert which addresses toxic masculinity, sexual harassment and the #MeToo movement has seen a boycott of Gillette products and claims that 'not all men' are like this.

Now you might be thinking “Hey! Right wingers are triggered over this discussion! Where’s the wanton property destruction at?”. We’ve seen time and time before how Trump fans destroy property when they think they “own the libs”. Well, here’s your answer!

Gillette is facing a lot of backlash over its new ad.

The Procter & Gamble-owned brand released a new commercial called "We Believe" on Monday.

The ad is meant to confront American culture, showing men and boys bullying each other and engaging in sexual harassment. Narration then encourages them to "say the right thing" and "act the right way."


While some have praised the ad, it has caused an uproar among others. Some have taken to social media to say they are now boycotting the brand and have posted photos and videos of themselves discarding Gillette razors in protest:

Dude, you really think that the people who are throwing their razors in the toilet are the ones who are failing to get the point of the ad? Well now here’s where the salt gets rubbed in the wound. Apparently while some people are failing to see the point of the ad, others are blowing it way out of proportion! I mean it’s a fucking ad people. Do you take Aflac’s commercials as being offensive to ducks? Or Geico’s commercials as being offensive to cavemen? Really?

P&G acquired Gillette for $57 billion almost 14 years ago to the day this year. What seemed to be a brilliant move, buying a high-margin, market-dominant brand, this soured quickly as grooming habits changed and competition intensified. The biggest threat came from Dollar Shave Club, a direct-to-consumer start-up with great appeal for Millennials. It ships its customers a month worth of razors for just $1, a deep discount tin comparison to Gillette’s price.

In the new commercial from Grey, Gillette, a company which made billions of dollars from men for over a century, disparages every one of those very same men. The brand clumsily attempts to contemporize its long-lasting slogan, “The Best a Man Can Get”, by featuring sinister males bullying and harassing – an action which Gillette describes as "toxic” masculinity. The ad is amateurishly stereotypical and mostly offers a caricature of masculinity.

What makes this ad so offensive is that Gillette doesn’t just condemn bad behavior, something most men do as well. It implies that the vulgar behavior represents the norm among men and, in doing so, it smears an entire gender. Substitute another gender, or ethnic group, in place of men”, and you start getting a sense how outlandish this insight is.

The single most insulting moment of the 90-second video comes at :37, showing a bunch of men standing in a row behind their outdoor grills, in menacing posture. It’s not just that it screams clichés and stereotypes. Imagine a row of women as props in front of washing machines or ovens baking cookies (none of the grills contain meat, BTW. Only vegetables. Seems the food police visited the set during the shoot).

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone guess what! We’re all gonna die in a horrible fiery apocalypse! Woooooooo!!! Well at least one sign of the apocalypse is happening this week and like all horrible things that have been happening lately, this involves our good friends in Russia. See, while we’re arguing back and forth about the validity of masculinity in commercials, they’re developing new and better ways to kill us and turn world elections on their ears. This week it was announced that the Russian navy has received a group of smart torpedoes. Great, that’s what we need – missiles that have the ability to become self aware! So here’s how they’re going to kill us this week, and it could possibly be even more horrible than you might imagine!

Russian state news media is reporting that the country’s armed forces will receive more than thirty, long-range nuclear-tipped super-torpedoes. Named Poseidon, the super-torpedoes will be armed with thermonuclear warheads designed to obliterate coastal cities and other targets and spread lethal radioactive fallout. The fast-moving, nuclear armed torpedo would be difficult for U.S. and allied forces to stop, and failure to do so would guarantee the deaths of millions.

Poseidon, originally known as Kanyon or Status 6, was originally revealed in in November 2015 when the weapon’s name and a picture were “accidentally” leaked by Russian state television. The leaked information included a range of 6,200 miles, maximum submergence depth of 3,280 feet and a top speed of 56 knots, which works out to 64 miles an hour on land. The name was changed to Poseidon in 2018, and full scale tests are anticipated to begin this year.

Now, TASS media agency is reporting Moscow will procure 32 Poseidon torpedoes, with sixteen based with the country’s Northern Fleet and sixteen based with the country’s Pacific Fleet. Poseidon missiles based with the Northern Fleet could attack targets in Europe, Canada, and the East Coast of the United States, while Pacific Fleet torpedoes could attack Japan, China, Canada and the West Coast of the U.S.

Poseidon will be the largest torpedo designed by any country, with a diameter of 6.5 feet and a length of 65 feet. It will be nuclear powered, giving it the ability to cross the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans solo. It will be inertially guided, allowing it to avoid the need to surface to get a GPS fix on its position. The warhead was previously claimed to be up to 200 megatons but is now reported at 2 megatons. While not as horribly over the top as a 200 megaton weapon, it’s still worth keeping in mind that 2 megatons = 2,000 kilotons—and the Hiroshima nuclear blast was a mere 16 kilotons.

Calm down, we’re all not gonna die yet. Because guess who Trump has in charge that can ease people’s biggest fears about situations where the entire world is at risk? That’s right, we’ve got Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo. A guy who keeps a Bible on his desk open at his desk every day to remind him of “God and country”. Is it any wonder why he might not be the best man to bring stop the rapture? Or is he here to help escalate it?

Mike Pompeo keeps a bible open at his desk to remind him of “God, and his word and the truth”, he told an audience in Cairo on Friday. The US secretary of state also appears to keep a darts board of Barack Obama’s face in his office. That America’s chief diplomat would give a speech in Egypt is unremarkable. That he would give one attacking the last US president is less normal, though not unprecedented. That he would start with a declaration of his evangelical faith is even less typical, but still pardonable. To do all three at once — attacking America’s last president in the Middle East in a speech to a Muslim audience that was aimed at Christian radicals — is in a category of one. It’s certainly not diplomacy.

But that’s the kind of politician he is. As Julian Borger reminds us in the Guardian, Pompeo is a genuine, end-of-days, believer in the apocalypse. It’s a cloud-parting eschatology he shares with Mike Pence, the vice-president. “We will continue to fight these battles,” Pompeo told a church congregation in Wichita three years ago. “It is a never-ending struggle . . . until the rapture. Be a part of it. Be in the fight.” Generally I believe a public figure’s beliefs should be irrelevant to their job. Whether they’re atheist, Opus Dei, Buddhist or Muslim, should have no bearing on our assessment of their fitness for office. Yet I can’t help but feel anxious that both of Donald Trump’s main global envoys, Pompeo and Pence, have a conflict between their private beliefs and what they publicly claim to be doing.

Hey Christian right, I believe the goal of Armageddon was to stop it, not escalate it! Yeah so Russia is most likely going to kill us all and Mike Pompeo is doing everything in his path to help escalate the situation. But if Russia doesn’t kill us all, North Korea might! Remember when Trump was bragging about how he helped progress with North Korea more than any other president? Would you be surprised that he was wrong this whole time? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!!!!

WASHINGTON — With a second U.S.-North Korea nuclear summit looming in February, researchers have discovered a secret ballistic missile base in North Korea — one of as many as 20 undisclosed missile sites in the country, according to the researchers’ new report.

The Kim regime has never disclosed the existence of the Sino-ri Missile Operating Base to the outside world. Ballistic missiles are the primary delivery mechanism for North Korean nuclear warheads.

The report from Beyond Parallel, a project sponsored by the Center for Strategic and International Studies (CSIS), a defense think tank, was released Monday and comes after an announcement Friday that President Donald Trump "looks forward" to meeting with Chairman Kim Jong Un next month "at a place to be announced at a later date."

The White House did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

But if you’re going to go through the end times, there’s plenty of people who have your back, like Jim Bakker who sells end times survival food buckets, but for Jesus. But not to be outdone, Costco has entered the Doomsday Prepper market! Gee, this will be the perfect thing to eat from your underground bunker while the rest of the world dies from radiation poisoning!

If we’re all about to wind up in an apocalyptic hellscape, at least Costco is making sure we won’t starve (for awhile)—we may even enjoy our long-lasting, vast quantities of food. On the heels of its near-seven-pound tub of Nutella, Costco now offers a 27-pound bucket of mac-and-cheese with a 20-year shelf life.

Inside the six-gallon bucket are 180 servings of mac-and-cheese, stored in separate individual pouches of noodles and cheese sauce. All this can be yours as a Costco member for under $100.

Or rather, could have been. Time reports that less than 24 hours after People announced the existence of said mac-and-cheese bucket, the item has sold out. Sure enough, it is listed as “out of stock” on Costco’s all-important Emergency Kits & Supplies Section on its website. May we interest you instead in 60 servings of Mountain House Freeze Dried Breakfast Skillet or Lasagna With Meat Sauce for $160? You can also go for Mountain House’s 204-serving, 30-day Outdoor Adventure Meal kit for just under $500. Or, just stock up on those Nutella jars.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
[br] [/font]

Yo Las Vegas – we’re here on Fremont St and I really need a drink!

Now normally the idea behind this segment is that we have a few drinks and discuss just about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. But this week, politics are having a huge effect on the industry that is responsible for this segment – drinking. Yes, the drinking industry is being heavily affected by the Trump led shutdown. So tell me bartender, is there anything that goes well with a craft beer shortage? More beer? Great! I think I will have some beer and then some more beer. But people it’s bad. You know we have that funky president in the White House who is fucking with just about everything and ruining just about everything that he touches. So how does that affect my and your drinking? Well a great deal!

There's trouble brewing in the craft beer industry over the government shutdown.

Because the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) has been furloughed by the partial government shutdown, breweries have been unable to secure necessary approvals from the agency's tax and trade bureau — ranging from permits for new facilities to new labels on cans.

In a business dependent on releasing and marketing new beers regularly to quench its customers' expectations for novelty, those delays could potentially be financially devastating.

"It’s really that question mark that’s the scary part, because we don’t have that end in sight," Mariah Scanlon, brand manager for Smuttlab, a line from Smuttynose Brewing Company in Hampton, New Hampshire, told NBC News.

"You can’t develop a contingency strategy without knowing how long [the shutdown] is going to go on."

Yeah so there unfortunately wont be any of that happening until this mess gets sorted out. But it’s not good right now in the world of craft beer. There’s no ATF and there’s no FDA so that means that breweries can’t get permits to brew and to distribute. But that’s not all. How much worse can it get?

Fat Point Brewing has some beer in a tank without a home inside a can.

The Punta Gorda brewers have had their share of hiccups. They almost shuttered in 2017, before Tampa Bay's Big Storm Brewing swooped in and acquired the microbrewery. Now, just as some of its tap-only beers were finally en route to make their canned debut, another snag.

This time, the federal government.

The government has to sign off every time a brewer comes up with a new variety and label. Three Fat Point beers — including a “malty” 80 Degrees Winter Warmer — are awaiting approval. But Fat Point's Tampa Bay parent company might not hear back for a while. More than 192,000 labels are sitting in an ever-growing queue creating a worrisome backlog for alcohol makers across the country.

The government has to sign off every time a brewer comes up with a new variety and label. Three Fat Point beers — including a “malty” 80 Degrees Winter Warmer — are awaiting approval. But Fat Point's Tampa Bay parent company might not hear back for a while. More than 192,000 labels are sitting in an ever-growing queue creating a worrisome backlog for alcohol makers across the country.

Speaking of which, I need some more learning juice! Ahh… that’s the stuff! So just so we’re being clear this is not existing beers that’s being affected, so go ahead and chug those Stone IPAs, Deschutes Porters, and Widmer Hefs because those are still being produced. It’s new product lines and distribution channels that are being affected. So what that means is that your favorite breweries can’t expand and they can’t market that new 15% barrel aged peach sour at $25 a bottle. How’s that affecting business you might ask?

Mike Yohannes has run a food stand in downtown Washington for the past 20 years, surviving economic downturns while selling hot dogs, candy bars and an assortment of other edible items.

But the latest government shutdown could be the death knell for his business.
Foot traffic is markedly down at the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 11th Street where he operates, and Yohannes said sales have fallen about 60 percent during the closure, which has affected nearby federal offices, museums and other tourist spots.

“Business is very, very bad,” said Johannes, adding that he pays about $525 in license and other fees every three months, besides food costs. “If it continues like this another two, three months, I’m looking at another job.”

While President Donald Trump and Democratic congressional leaders haggle over his demand for $5.7 billion to fund a southern border wall – both sides went on national TV to argue their case Tuesday night – millions of Americans increasingly feel the impact of the impasse.

I could down a whole six pack in the amount of time it’s taking to get through this! And this can’t be good for business. I mean we’re three weeks into this mess and it’s only going to get worse. Now if only I had something to ease the pain of waiting for my favorite brewery to produce new beers! I know, I need some more beer!

The federal shutdown is beginning to have an impact on one of Colorado's favorite things: craft beer.

Every time a new beer is produced and sold across state lines, the label has to be approved by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau. The agency isn't working during the shutdown.

"We spend a lot of time developing our new recipes," says Matt Cutter, the founder of Boulder's Upslope Brewing Company. "Now, all of that is completely on hold."

Cutter says Upslope has quickly grown in popularity over the past 10 years.

"We are in seven out-of-state markets, plus Colorado," says Cutter. "In order to distribute to those states, we're required to have the Tax and Trade Bureau approve the label."

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 26: The Fed
[br] [/font]

It’s time for episode 26 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the many branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Fed[/font]

We need some music for this one!

So now we come to the branch of the government that handles our money – the United States Federal Reserve. Known in short as “The Fed”. So what does the Fed do exactly? Well the Fed is basically the central bank of the United States. It’s the branch of government that monitors our money and sets the value of our currency and it also controls the flow of money as to help with current financial crises. Well, with the shutdown over this ridiculous wall, I say good luck with that one! The Fed also regulates the banks to prevent economic crashes. So here’s what is going on with the Fed currently:

Federal Reserve officials next week will continue to stress that they will be “patient,” and that is largely being interpreted at this point to mean no hikes until at least June, economists said.

Since the financial market turmoil after their December meeting, so many Fed officials used the word in their speeches that it felt like the central bank has “done all but take out a Super Bowl ad that repeatedly flashes the word “PATIENT,” said Blake Gwinn, a market strategist at NatWest, in a note to clients.

But what does patient mean exactly?

“A March hike is unlikely at this point, that’s how I would interpret patience,” said Andrew Hollenhorst, chief U.S. economist at Citigroup.

Vince Reinhart, chief economist and investment strategist at Standish, agreed: “They’re saying they are taking a pass on March.”

That’s right – everything burns! Even money! But hey no shutdown agreement means that we have no Fed, so how is that working? How are they dealing with Trump? Well, things are going about as well as you might expect. Why try to argue with the guy who burned the forest down?

President Trump's months-long feud with the Federal Reserve is cooling off as central bank officials indicate a pause in interest rate hikes.

Various Fed officials this week have said they're reluctant to move forward with raising borrowing costs while inflation remains low and the economy continues to add jobs.

The bank's policymakers are expected to hike rates twice this year, down from four times in 2018, but some of the Fed's most hawkish members have moved away from that projection in recent remarks.

Trump has repeatedly hit the Fed and its chairman, Jerome Powell, since July for raising rates. The president has said the central bank poses "the biggest threat" to the economy and blamed it for triggering a December stock sell-off that was the worst since the Great Depression.

But with a rate hike unlikely until March at the earliest, Trump's anger with his preferred economic scapegoat appears to be easing.

Damn straight! Even Mueller is working with the Fed to take down a hostile foreign bank with ties to some dark money. Yes, for you conspiracy theorists out there, there really is an actual conspiracy unfolding in front of our very eyes. Only it doesn’t involve Hillary Clinton and pizza parlors. Instead, it involves Germany!

The Federal Reserve is investigating billions of dollars in suspicious transactions involving Deutsche Bank AG and Denmark’s Danske Bank.

Investigators are examining whether Deutsche Bank’s U.S. operations adequately monitored funds sent through an Estonian branch of Danske Bank A/S, which the Danish bank has admitted handled up to $230 billion in dirty money, reported Bloomberg.

Two sources briefed on the probe confirmed the investigation, which Deutsche Bank denied in an emailed statement.

“(The bank) received several requests for information from regulators and law enforcement agencies around the world,” Deutsche Bank said. “It is not surprising at all that the investigating authorities and banks themselves have an interest in the Danske case and the lessons to be learned from it. Deutsche Bank continues to provide information to and cooperate with the investigating agencies.”

Yes let’s all throw money at the problem! That will make it go away! Except that it helps the rich get richer and the wrong people get rich. Especially when it comes to touchy subjects like our nation’s crippling student loan debt, how does the Fed deal with something like that?

Student debt has obviously forced some number of young adults to either delay or give up on homeownership. But how many, exactly? A group of economists from the Federal Reserve Board have taken a stab at answering that question, and come up with a number that is noteworthy even if some might find it surprisingly low.

Between 2005 and 2014, the share of young adults who owned a house fell by almost 9 percentage points, more than double the drop seen among Americans overall. The Fed team’s upcoming paper, summarized in a new research note, concludes that just 2 percentage points of that decline were due to rising student debt levels—meaning that college loans locked somewhere over 400,000 individuals out of home ownership that year.

That’s not a small number. But it’s a bit below what you might expect, given the generationally important role student debt has played in Millennials’ financial lives.

The way the authors arrive at their conclusion is a bit complicated. Using credit and education data on Americans who were between the ages of 24 and 32 in 2005, they create a model estimating the impact of student debt on the probability that an individual would own a home.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: B-
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to get drunk, smoke some cigars and shoot some guns as we hang out with the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”] The Claypool Lennon Delirium[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest are the duo of Les Claypool and Sean Lennon! They have a new album coming out called “South Of Reality” which will be available everywhere on Feb. 22nd. You can see them live on tour this March and April. Playing their new song “Blood & Rockets”, give it up for the Claypool Lennon Delirium!

Thank you Vegas! This was fun! We will be back soon! We are off to Salt Lake City next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Jokester’s Comedy Club, Las Vegas, NV
Special Thanks To: Jokester’s Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: UNLV Choir Club, Las Vegas
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The Claypool Lennon Delirium Appear Courtesy Of: ATO Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 23, 2019, 06:00 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-2: House Of Carbs Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-2: House Of Carbs Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots!! 15 minutes with us can save you $500 or more on your car insurance. We are back! What’s up Seattle? You guys doing good? Yeah so you know computer glitches and technological difficulties kept us from being here the last time which was back in September, but we are here now! This is a great city, I always have fun when I’m here although I will say visiting in January? Probably not the greatest idea we’ve had lately. But we’re going to hunker down and power through it and move on to the next week because that’s what we do here. At least we’ll get some Beechers Mac & Cheese out of it. Because that’s why we do this – it’s for the mac n’ cheese. I’m just kidding, we do this for you guys. Do we have time for the thing? Yes? OK good. So we have to talk about this old clip that recently surfaced. And for those of you who follow what’s going on you can see where I’m going with this. There was an old western series from the 1950s called Trackdown. And this was a wild west series starring Robert Culp that aired for two seasons on CBS. And one episode in particular is called “The End Of The World”, which was the 30th episode of the series. So the antagonist in the show is named “Walter Trump”. Again, you can see where I’m going with this. Well, Mr. Trump warns the townspeople that impending disaster is coming and that the only way to save their impending doom is guess what? That’s right – a wall. And you know what? Fuck it, we’re going to forgo our usual talk show clip and show this in its’ entirety because it’s utterly spectacular. He even acts like Trump! This is a crazy example of life imitating art. Let’s show that!

So where do we begin for this week? For the number one slot this week is of course the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump (1) and on Monday, he had the NCAA football champion Clemson Tigers over for the traditional White House visit. But the food he served, well, let’s say it needs improvement. In the second slot this week is also Donald J. Trump (2) and oh my god, the hits just keep on coming and whew, he might have had his worst week ever! For the third slot this week is Steve King (3) and if you have to ask whether or not it’s OK to be racist, you’re a racist. Taking the 4th slot this week is the Alt Right (4) which includes Laura Loomer accidentally proving why walls don’t work and Alex Jones getting his ass handed to him in court, among other things. In the fifth slot this week is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week is of course the annual CES in Las Vegas and we’re going to talk about all the strange and weird tech coming out of the conference. In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and this week our resident pastor is going to ask the question that’s on everybody’s minds – “would Jesus build the wall?”. The answer might surprise you! For the seventh slot this week we have a brand new edition of “Beating A Dead Horse” and in light of Kevin Hart getting snubbed for the Oscars hosting job, how old is too old for a tweet to still be relevant? We will get to the bottom of this mystery! For the 8th slot this week, Youtube star Logan Paul (8) is back in the news for of course all the wrong reasons, and we’re going to ask “Logan Paul’s Youtube Channel: How Is This Still A Thing?”. For the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) we have a new People Are Dumb, because well, stupid doesn’t take a holiday, and neither do we! Except of course for all the holidays we actually do take. And our next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going into deep space and hanging out with NASA! Plus we have some live music for you from Rufus Du Sol! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald J. Trump & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week
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Congratulations to the Clemson Tigers for winning this year’s College National Championship. What a game that was! I mean Alabama got their asses handed to them didn’t they? Well the Tigers will get to visit the White House. And remember what an honor that used to be? Well thanks to a certain guy who is currently called president, they might want to reconsider. Especially considering that he’s channeling his inner Richmond Valentine from the movie “Kingsman: The Secret Service”. Or maybe Kevin Spacey from House Of Cards. OK, bad example. Well, Clemson, here’s what you got waiting for you!

The Clemson football team’s visit to the White House on Monday night is going to be a greasy one.

The Tigers were invited by President Donald Trump to celebrate their national championship victory over Alabama and, according to Trump, the menu is going to be all fast food.

“I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King’s [sic], with some pizza,” Trump said. “I really mean it. It’ll be interesting. I think that would be their favorite food, so we’ll see what happens.”

It sounds like Clemson will be getting the authentic White House experience, enjoying some of the president’s favorite foods. In a book about the 2016 campaign, two top Trump aides wrote that the “four major food groups” on Trump’s plane were “McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, pizza and Diet Coke.”

The menu probably isn’t a hit with Clemson Director of Football Nutrition Paul Harrington, though. We’ve emailed Harrington for his thoughts and will update this post if he gets back to us.

That’s right! No shut down means no White House staff which means no White House kitchen staff to cook for the Clemson team! So you could say that this is a House Of Carbs! And by the way this is what happens when the country is run by the less sophisticated – they actually enjoyed it! Either their standards are incredibly low or they haven’t had a decent meal in months! What is Clemson feeding them?

President Donald Trump paid tribute to college football champion Clemson for winning the College Football Playoff National Championship at a White House ceremony Monday evening.

Trump said he paid for their meal of "American fast food'' because of the partial government shutdown. He did not disclose the tab.

"We went off and we ordered American fast food, paid for by me. Lots of hamburgers, lots of pizza,'' Trump said after returning to the White House from a trip to New Orleans. "I think they'd like it better than anything we could give."

Some players "whooped" when they saw the spread, according a pool report.

"We have some very large people that like eating, so I think we're going to have a little fun," said the president, a fast-food lover himself.

Spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders said much of the staff that works in the White House residence has been furloughed due to the shutdown, "so the president is personally paying for the event to be catered with some of everyone's favorite fast foods."

Wow, how our standards have fallen as a society. Really he’s the kind of guy who would replace the White House kitchen with a McDonalds and Burger King just because he could. And he’s also fat and has no taste. And by the way let’s show that picture of Trump with the spread.

First off why is Trump like so proud of this? He’s feeding a championship football team garbage fast food that you can buy at the Flying J off the interstate. And second, why is he doing jazz hands? Ah, never mind, I have the answer! Just look at what Abe Lincoln is doing in the background!

By the way you’re wondering how much this spread costs, well…

Trump said, “So I had a choice. Do we have no food for you? Because we have a shutdown,” Business Insider reported. “Or do we give you some little, quick salads that the First Lady will make?”

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders in a statement blamed Democrats for the shutdown and said that Trump was personally paying for the food.

The White House didn’t release the cost of the meal, but some news outlets tried to estimate the expense. The Post worked it out to be $2,911.44—or maybe $2,437.11, depending on whether the food came from the 2-for-$5 menu.

USA Today estimated the expense to be $861.72. Maybe the difference came down to what was included. USA Today didn’t include french fries or pizza, which Trump said would be part of the order, because none appeared in the pictures they used for their estimate.

Yeah so he spent $860 on fucking fast food. Really there were no other restaurants around? I mean you don’t own one that’s literally 5 miles from where you live? That wouldn’t work? Oh fuck it. I give up sometimes. And by the way here’s how much of a flaming narcissist Trump is. Not only did he pay for the food, he also said it was all food he likes, and he didn’t even get the quantities right!

Imagine being invited to the White House for dinner. You pack your best suit or dress and fly up to Washington, D.C. The day of the dinner, the president announces to reporters that he will be serving you fast food. He seems really excited about it. “I think we’re going to serve McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King with some pizza,” he says. “I really meant it. It’ll be interesting. I would think that’s their favorite food. So we’ll see what happens.”

He has to be kidding, right? He really means it? It’ll be interesting? We’ll see what happens? A few hours later you head to the White House, go through security and enter the State Dining Room. This is what you see:

Yes, President Trump served selections from McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King to the Clemson Tigers football team, who were in Washington on Monday to celebrate their national championship. The scene was surreal, with boxes of Quarter Pounders piled high on the White House’s silver serving ware. Sterling gravy boats were stuffed with dipping sauce containers. Fries had been removed from their original packaging and put into paper cups emblazoned with the presidential seal.

Trump was beaming. “I like it all,” the president said as aides lit an ornate candelabra. “It’s all good stuff. Great American food. It will be very interesting to see at the end of this evening how many are left.” He added that “the Republicans are really, really sticking together” and that “we need border security.”

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
[br] [/font]

Pop quiz hot shot! You’re Donald J. Trump, and we all know that Trump is the best at everything, he knows the most about everything, and you’re faced with a government shutdown that you yourself caused, which is now considered the longest in American history. What do you do? Sulk? Tweet angrily on the toilet about it? Or do you just make shit up? Well if you’re Trump, you can probably guess that he just made shit up. I mean Fox News clouds his brain so much that he literally can’t decipher right from wrong, and you can imagine how well that went.

The Trump administration now estimates that the cost of the government shutdown will be twice as steep as originally forecast.

The original estimate that the partial shutdown would subtract 0.1 percentage point from growth every two weeks has now been doubled to a 0.1 percentage point subtraction every week, according to an official who asked not to be named.

The administration had initially counted just the impact from the 800,000 federal workers not receiving their paychecks. But they now believe the impact doubles, due to greater losses from private contractors also out of work and other government spending and functions that won’t occur.

If the shutdown lasts the rest of this month, it could subtract a sizable half a percentage point from gross domestic product, the official said.

The subtraction from growth would add to the troubles of an economy already thought to be slowing from the waning effects of tax stimulus, trade tensions and gathering global weakness.

And what’s the over – under on how long the shutdown is going to go? Well considering what a man child that Trump is, it could go on indefinitely. He’s actually pretty proud of it. I mean he engineered this and is blaming the dems to get away with it, because reasons. Also, liberal derangement syndrome. So how deep does his LDS go? Well pretty deep.

President Trump on Monday shared an op-ed from a writer claiming to be an anonymous senior member of his administration who harshly criticizes federal workers as disloyal to the White House and worthy of losing their jobs.

The writer of the op-ed, published by conservative news site The Daily Caller, argues the partial government shutdown is an opportunity for Trump to greatly reduce the size of government.

“On an average day, roughly 15 percent of the employees around me are exceptional patriots serving their country. I wish I could give competitive salaries to them and no one else,” the op-ed reads. “But 80 percent feel no pressure to produce results. If they don’t feel like doing what they are told, they don’t.”

Later in the op-ed, the author states that the first goal of the shutdown should be to win better security particularly at the southern border. Uniformed border officials should be paid, but nonessential employees should be let go, the author writes.

So you only want to give salaries to people who you think are “patriots”? And why should that other 80%? You know why they’re not compelled to produce results? Because they’re not getting paid to do so! Yeah money is a big motivator! If I didn’t know any better, I would say this is DJT & The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Week. I mean what happens when you painted yourself into a corner when you’re in a round office? Only Trump could do that.

New polling indicates that President Donald Trump does not have a winning option to get out of this partial government shutdown, and his position is deteriorating.

Let's start with the most important fact when it comes to gaming out the shutdown: the President is becoming more unpopular. His net approval rating (approval rating -- disapproval rating) in an average of polls before the shutdown was -10 points. It's now down to -14 points. That may not seem like a big drop but remember this is a president who has had among the most stable approval ratings on record.
Now, one move the President could decide to take to help his own standing is to push harder on the shutdown. Yet, the longer the shutdown goes, and the harder Trump has pushed his position, the more Americans are blaming him for it.

In a Quinnipiac University poll taken before the shutdown, 51% of voters said they'd blame the Republicans for the shutdown to 37% who said they'd blame the Democrats. A Quinnipiac poll conducted over the last week now puts Republican blame at 56% and Democratic blame at 36%. Put another way, voters are 5 points more likely to blame Republicans and 1 point less likely to blame Democrats for the shutdown than they were before the shutdown began.

By the way, no, you fucking idiots, this is not a vacation. There’s people still working and not getting paid any money to do their jobs. This talking point really needs to die the horrible death it very much deserves. I mean you can’t possibly get any lower than thinking people who are basically fired are just taking a vacation.

White House economic adviser Kevin Hassett said furloughed federal workers who are not getting paid during the partial government shutdown are "better off" because they didn't have to use vacation days.
"Huge share of government workers were going to take vacation days, say between Christmas and New Year's. And then we have a shutdown and so they can't go to work, and so then they have the vacation but they don't have to use their vacation days," Hassett told PBS during an appearance on "NewsHour."
On Saturday, the ongoing partial government shutdown broke the record to become the longest government shutdown in US history -- with no end in sight. The shutdown has impacted roughly a quarter of the federal government and hundreds of thousands of federal workers. An estimated 800,000 federal workers have been affected by the lapse in funding -- either by having to work without pay while it lasts or by being furloughed.
"And then they come back and then they get their back pay, then they're, in some sense they're better off," Hassett said.

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[font size="8"]Steve King
[br] [/font]

Hey it’s time to play a game!

Hey I’m your host for this game! So… audience… IS IT RACIST??? Yeah probably. I’m of course talking about the fact that Iowa representative Steve King (R-Obviously) screwed the pooch by asking about the validity of white supremacism and why it’s a bad thing in society. Hey Mr. King, if you have to ask, you’re a racist! So why is white supremacy such a bad thing in society? Well for one thing it is against American ideals where everyone is free and equal. And two, I don’t know, we fought a whole fucking world war over it! So what happened?

In a Thursday interview with The New York Times, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) decried the demonization of the term “white supremacist,” and wondered why it had become deemed to be offensive in the first place. King first claimed that he supported immigrants who came to America legally and assimilated into the culture—because, he said, maintaining a white European “culture of America” is more important than maintaining racial homogeneity. “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization—how did that language become offensive?” King added. “Why did I sit in classes teaching me about the merits of our history and our civilization?”

King’s extremist ideology has ostracized him from some in the Republican Party, but has been embraced by President Trump and is reflected in his agenda. Early on in Trump’s term, the president invited King to the Oval Office, where he boasted of having raised more money for the congressman’s campaigns than anyone else, King recalled in an interview with the Times. “Yes, Mr. President,” King replied. “But I market-tested your immigration policy for 14 years, and that ought to be worth something.”

That is a good question! So Steve King is apparently too extreme for this party, and this is in an era where white supremacism has been made fashionable again! When you’re too extreme for this bunch, that’s pretty fucking extreme. Just how toxic is Steve King?

House Republican leaders removed Representative Steve King of Iowa from the Judiciary and Agriculture Committees on Monday night as party officials scrambled to appear tough on racism and contain damage from comments Mr. King made to The New York Times questioning why white supremacy is considered offensive.

The punishment came on a day when Mr. King was denounced by an array of Republican leaders, though not President Trump. The Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, suggested Mr. King find “another line of work” and Senator Mitt Romney said he should quit. And the House Republicans, in an attempt to be proactive, stripped him of the committee seats in the face of multiple Democratic resolutions to censure Mr. King that are being introduced this week.

Those measures would force Republicans to take a stand on the House Democratic majority’s attempt to publicly reprimand one of their own.

Mr. King, who has been an ally of President Trump on the border wall and other issues, has a long history of making racist remarks and insults about immigrants, but has not drawn rebukes from Republican leaders until recently. In November, top Iowa Republicans like Senator Charles E. Grassley endorsed Mr. King for re-election even after one House Republican official came out and denounced him as a white supremacist.

That’s right! Steve King got shitcanned from all of his committee assignments. And that is a pretty big deal to get that to happen. The bottom line if you have to ask whether or not racism is acceptable again, you’re a fucking racist. He’s even so extreme that the republican party has called for him to resign over this remark.

Rep. Liz Cheney (R-Wy.), the third-ranking House Republican, on Tuesday said Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) should step down after he questioned why the term “white supremacist” was considered offensive.

“I think he should find another line of work,” Cheney told reporters. “His language questioning whether or not the notion of white supremacy is offensive is absolutely abhorrent, it’s racist, we do not support it or agree with it.”

She said she agrees with Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who on Sunday called King’s remarks to The New York Times “unwelcome and unworthy of his elected position.”

House Republicans stripped King of congressional committee assignments on Monday in response to the veteran lawmaker’s remarks. King had served on the House committees on agriculture, the judiciary and small business.

You tell ‘em Bruce! And here’s the thing – this is the party that made racism and white supremacism fashionable again. It’s all about projection. You know – that thing that Trump tries to do when he can’t think of an actual solution to a problem. And by the way you wonder what they’re saying on Fox? They are literally doing everything they can to avoid the 800 pound gorilla in the room.

With sunrise Tuesday, a new day dawned for Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa). Less than 24 hours prior, the eight-term congressman had been stripped of his committee positions by the new Republican leadership in the 116th Congress, a result of his being unusually careless in espousing his views on white nationalism in an interview with the New York Times last week.

The story had attracted national media attention, with many of his colleagues criticizing the rhetorical question he posed to the Times' Trip Gabriel: “White nationalist, white supremacist, Western civilization — how did that language become offensive?”

President Trump, at least, reserved judgment.

“I haven’t been following it,” Trump said at the White House on Monday. “I really haven’t been following it.”

In one sense, it’s surprising — unbelievable, really — that a president would be unfamiliar with his party’s House caucus punishing a sitting member. Particularly when that president has faced similar criticism about the nature of his rhetoric. But in another sense, it does seem fitting. After all, much of Trump’s awareness of what’s going on in the world is driven by what he sees on Fox News.

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[font size="8"]The Alt Right
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So just like Trump is having his worst week ever, the Alt Right is having their worst week ever. Can we all just hope that this alt right fad dies the horrible death it deserves? Can we banish them to the realm of Members Only, MC Hammer, and the Macarena? Well this might be my favorite story of the week. So Alt Right Barbie Laura Loomer (now with 50% more libtard owning catchphrases!), fresh off her recent stint chaining herself to Twitter headquarters (see: Idiots #5-22 ), decided to prove once and for all why having a wall is a bad idea.

Right-wing activist Laura Loomer reportedly jumped the fence around House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's California house on Monday and set up a tent to protest, according to a Daily Beast reporter.

The reporter, Will Sommer, tweeted at around 3 p.m. EST: "Laura Loomer has walked off the stream, on her way to Pelosi's house. One of her crew is claiming that it's legal to jump the fence because there were no 'no-trespassing' signs. I don't know about that!"

"One of Loomer's pals is urging viewers to come and ask for 'sanctuary' at Pelosi's house. He claims they'll be allowed to stay and won't get in legal trouble because 'we're not antifa.' Hmm!" he continued.

"Now Laura Loomer is back and saying she tried to open the doors to Pelosi's house, but they were locked. This seems like an unwise thing to be admitting!"

If you’re keeping score at home, Laura Loomer chained herself to a tent in Nancy Pelosi’s backyard to protest illegal immigration, because, reasons, and in the process single handedly proved why walls don’t work. And by the way speaking of the Alt Right, we have to point out how pathetic Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes is. We might need the Sad Hulk Music for this one!

For months, Proud Boys founder Gavin McInnes and his wife, Emily, have been fighting to win back their neighbors in the upscale village of Larchmont, just north of New York City.

Though some townspeople have posted “Hate has no home here” signs for months ― some of them in reaction to domestic acts of terrorism, like the shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh last October ― others, having realized that their neighbor Gavin was the leader of an assault-prone street gang, added signs to their front yards, too.

In response, the McInneses lashed out. Gavin sent letters to those neighbors who displayed anti-hate signs in their front yards, lamenting that they represented an act of aggression against his family. Out of the other side of his mouth, he mocked them and called them “retards” on his podcast. Emily, meanwhile, publicly defended her husband and claimed that the neighbors’ messaging had put their children in danger, while privately she intimidated and threatened legal action against them.

The McInneses’ appeal to the community was plainly disingenuous, neighbors told HuffPost.

Oh womp womp, Gavin. People are tired of your toxic racism and sexism. And speaking of someone who is violently toxic, Alex Jones in what may be the best news of the week – he got his ass handed to him in court and well, the parents of the Sandy Hook victims are about to get their hands on some very valuable info that could potentially destroy Infowars as we know it.

The families of victims in the 2012 shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School must receive access to internal documents at Infowars, the internet and radio show whose host, Alex Jones, has spread the false claim that the shooting was an elaborate hoax, a judge ruled on Friday.

The ruling was a legal victory for the families, which filed a defamation lawsuit against Mr. Jones, who traffics in conspiracy theories, and Infowars last year. The suit argued that peddling bogus stories was essential to the business model of Infowars, which sells products including survivalist gear, gun paraphernalia and dietary supplements.

A gunman killed 20 children and six adults in the Sandy Hook shooting in Newtown, Conn., just over six years ago, and Mr. Jones helped to spread the idea that grieving relatives of those victims were paid “crisis actors.”

The plaintiffs in the lawsuit are relatives of five children and three adults who were killed, and one F.B.I. agent who responded to the shooting. Their complaint said the families have faced “physical confrontation and harassment, death threats, and a sustained barrage of harassment and verbal assault on social media.”

I really don’t care. Do U? You know it’s not in my nature to kick a man when he’s down, but considering Alex Jones does exactly that, I think we can make an exception for this one! Fuck you Alex, and eat a steaming bag of shit! And by the way do we really need Roku picking up Infowars? I mean come on, Roku, do you really want to be associated with that or be forever known as the official streaming service of Pepe The Frog?

Roku says it will continue to host Alex Jones’ conspiracy-theory channel Infowars despite public outcry, stating that the company doesn’t “curate or censor based on viewpoint.”

In a statement, first reported by TechCrunch, Roku says that it is not “promoting or being paid to distribute InfoWars” and that it does “not have a commercial relationship with the InfoWars.”

Roku has been receiving angry tweets from users over the past few days after many noticed that Infowars continues to be available on the TV streaming device, as first reported by DigiDay. Infowars, known for its hateful content, was effectively de-platformed last year after being booted from Apple’s App Store, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter, dramatically limiting its ability to reach viewers.

But Roku says that Infowars hasn’t broken any of its rules. The company says it prohibits publication of content that is “unlawful, incites illegal activities, or violates third-party rights,” but that “to our knowledge, InfoWars is not currently in violation of these content policies.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: New Tech at CES
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The Smart Home industry has become a hundred billion dollar industry over the last few years. Led by Apple, Amazon, and Google, such devices have become common household place. But now this year at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, things have taken a drastic turn. Smart home devices have become even smarter. There’s some really cool and interesting tech, and there’s also some weird tech, and there’s even some adult oriented tech, and that’s mainly in the upstairs CES. So what new technology do consumers have to look forward to?

For all the cool gadgets that get shown off at CES, there’s also a bunch of things that make even the most jaded tech bloggers squint in a mix of confusion and amused befuddlement. Some of it you’ll find on the main show floor, others you’ll find in the nooks and corners at the Sands Expo and Eureka Park.

Like, who needs an RGB space toilet or a booth where a smart bidet just blasts a constant stream of water at a plexiglass wall? Why are there eye massagers built from hot-plates that burn your eyelashes off? Why are we not questioning why some booths are straight up selling vibrators as face massagers? Does anyone really want a smartphone app that can read and track your sperm count? Should helicopter parents really be buying camera probes to take pictures of their babies’ inner ears? And in 2019, is it really necessary to have a Lamborghini massage chair surrounded by scantily clad booth babes gyrating to heavy metal? What about a personal watercraft shaped like a swordfish?

The answer to all of these questions is a resounding “no.” But still, the weird, bizarre, and oddly inexplicable gadgets are part of what gives CES its charm. It just wouldn’t be the same show without them. Most of these products won’t ever make it beyond the show floor, so that’s why we’ve decided to showcase them here for posterity.

Yes of course it is necessary to have all those things. And in fact our bathrooms are getting smarter as judging by the ridiculous amount of smart bathroom products that are becoming readily available for consumers as early as the next few months. Do really need a smart toilet? No.

We’ve all had those moments in the bathroom where we’ve had a pressing question come to mind and been uh, too occupied at the time to get an answer. Well, here’s one way to solve that problem. American manufacturing company Kohler is showing off an all-new toilet at CES 2019 that has support for voice assistants built right into it.

The Kohler Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet exists in a space somewhere between luxury and excess. According to the company, the toilet has practical features like water efficiency checks that make sure you’re never using more water than necessary. It has convenient features like smart lighting that makes it easy to see your way around the bathroom even in the dead of night — and those lights are interactive, multicolored, and dynamic so they can adjust to the setting.

It even has personalized cleansing functions that make sure the toilet is set to your specifications, including a heated seat and drying functionality.

Then there’s a feature that you probably never thought you’d see in a toilet: Voice control. The Numi 2.0 Intelligent Toilet has high-quality speakers built right into it, and those speakers come equipped with Amazon’s voice assistant Alexa. If you have a question while you’re sitting on the toilet, just ask Alexa. You can also run your home automation processes while in the bathroom. You can even have Alexa queue up your favorite playlist and watch the toilet’s lights sync up to the beat. Your bathroom can double as your own personal dance club if you so desire.

Alexa, please add “colon cleanser” to my shopping list. Thank you Alexa. And yes of course people still talk about the possibility of flying cars. Of course this has been prevalent in society ever since the movie Back To The Future Part II showed us what flying cars are capable of. It’s 2019 and we still don’t have a skyway that can take us from LA to London, damn it!

Everyone talks about how CES has become the main auto show of the year, pushing the Detroit Auto Show from its long-running time in January to June starting in 2020. But it's not just cars or what goes in them on display at the tech show in Las Vegas.

Hold on tight for some of the funkier, over-the-top concepts, prototypes, and even real production vehicles that vie for the spotlight at the massive tech trade show. Here's a collection of electric flying vehicles, electric motorcycles, three-wheeled scooters, and much more. And, as always, we can't forget the e-scooters.

The LiveWire — Harley-Davidson's first all-electric motorcycle — was on display after the motorcycle-riding community learned this week that pre-orders are now open. The bike is expected to arrive in August and will cost about $30,000.

This is not a concept vehicle — it's actually coming, and soon.
Personal flying vehicle

The ElectraFly from Deseret UAS is a hybrid-electric one-person flying vehicle. But getting someone to willingly strap into the device might be a hard sell. It's still a prototype, but the company envisions this as a tool for military or emergency services. Eventually the flying machine wants to become an air taxi. That'll be quite the ride to hail.

We really want to live in *THAT* 2015 by the way. And by the way if you’re looking for weird technology, the CES is full of it. Everything from smart diapers to the electronic equivalent of a pet rock to electronic refrigerators that remind you when to buy more beer.

The future is going to be weird. At least, that’s the impression we get from what we've seen at CES 2019 in Las Vegas. The annual consumer tech show is notorious for wacky inventions, strange gadgets, and providing tech solutions for problems you didn’t even know you had (a toilet that plays music, anyone?)

From robots that live to love you, to machines that fold your laundry for you, this year’s show has been no exception – even the humble television has had a total reconfiguration thanks to LG’s rollable OLED model that wowed us with its unique mechanical design.

Prepare to be amazed, amused, and bewildered, as we bring you our pick of the weirdest gadgets we’ve seen at CES 2019:

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters of Seattle! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! We live in troubled times right now. The world is going straight to the place where the sun don’t shine. And in our good book, does it not say that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would welcome strangers with open arms? Well those who stand by the Dark One, whose name shall not be named in my church, support his almost certainly evil plan to close our borders and ward off those who are seeking help in desperate times! They do not support the good LAWRD JAYSUS, instead they support the most immoral, inhumane Dark One who would ever dare to call himself a leader!

Never mind all that stuff in the Bible about welcoming the stranger, or “I was hungry and you gave me to food eat…” What Jesus really would like to see is a wall across the southern border of the United States; so say leaders of the Religious Right as President Donald Trump prepares to make his case in a prime-time address this evening.

While most focus on their demand that Democrats in Congress approve $5.7 billion in funding for the wall that Trump promised his groupies he’d build, a few are even egging him on to declare a national emergency and invoke those powers to re-open the government and grab money from the Pentagon in order to pay for the wall.

The current partial government shutdown is the result of Trump’s demand that Congress include those billions for the wall in the appropriations legislation required to keep the government operating. Democrats, who now control the House of Representatives, have declined to accede to that demand.

Now what might supporters of the Dark One say that would justify such an atrocity? I ask *YOU* my fair congregation! Well, the man who is literally destroying the notion of “separation of church and state”, Pastor Jeffress, said that there will be walls around Heaven! Really, now! Has he died and gone to Heaven? How would he know?

First Baptist Dallas pastor Robert Jeffress is voicing his support for President Donald Trump's demand for a wall between the U.S. and Mexico, saying Democrats are "morally liable" for what he called a humanitarian crisis at the southern border.

Jeffress, an outspoken supporter of the president, appeared on the Lou Dobbs Tonight show on Fox Business last week amid the government shutdown over Trump's dispute with Congress for border-wall funding.

During the appearance Friday, Jeffress likened the border wall to a fence around a swimming pool. If someone has a pool without a fence around it, they could be liable if a child wanders into the water and drowns, he said.

"By opposing this president and his desire to build a wall around our border, I believe the Democrats are morally liable for the death of children, the assault of women, of the humanitarian crisis we’re seeing at the border right now," he said.

Jeffress, a regular Fox News contributor, praised Trump's Oval Office address in which the president pitched his $5.7 billion funding request for the wall and repeatedly referred to a "crisis" of violence and drug-smuggling.

What’s even more insane is that Pastor Jeffress doubled down and went after critics who don’t like the Dark One’s plan! And really, who can argue with his justification? I mean if building a wall is immoral that must mean that GAWD is immoral too? You betcha!

Megachurch evangelical pastor and vociferous supporter of U.S. President Donald J. Trump, Robert Jeffress, defended the security plan of the GOP leader by saying that even Heaven will have a wall. During his interview with FOX & Friends, he made these statements as a kind of reply to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s description of the US-Mexico border wall as “immoral.” Pelosi is an elected Democrat from California. Jeffress is the senior pastor of the Dallas First Baptist Church.

In Trump’s defense, Jeffress said “The Bible says even Heaven itself is gonna have a wall around it. Not everybody is going to be allowed in. So if walls are immoral, then God is immoral.”

The right-wing pastor then targeted Democrats and termed them immoral for opposing President Trump’s grand plan to keep Americans safe. He also shed doubts concerning the morality of liberals who support the activities of “sanctuary cities.” These cities provide a safe haven to illegal immigrants. The pastor was effusive in praising Trump in the interview, saying that Americans should thank God for a president like him. According to the pastor, Trump takes his oath of office quite seriously and does not shirk from anything to keep the country safe. Jeffress, to boost his pro-Trump speech, took excerpts from the Old Testament to make his case. He especially quoted the Book of Nehemiah. As per scriptures, Nehemiah, a Jewish leader, was instructed by God to erect a wall encircling Jerusalem to keep its inhabitants safe. It is believed that Nehemiah was a local chief living in 5th century B.C. The president latched on to the flow of the interview pretty quick. During his Oval Office address, Trump said politicians do not construct walls around their residences as they hate people living outside. The walls are built as they love those who live inside.

Now Pastor Jeffress, I ask this with all of my deepest sincerity as a pastor myself – do the walls keep the unwanted out, or do they keep you in? I think it would do more the former than the latter! Thank you audience! Can I get an amen???? And by the way how great is our gospel choir? But if you really want to know where the support for the Dark One lies, look no further than your local church!

In setting out the Trump administration’s Middle East policy, one of the first things Mike Pompeo made clear to his audience in Cairo is that he had come to the region as “as an evangelical Christian”.

In his speech at the American University in Cairo, Pompeo said that in his state department office: “I keep a Bible open on my desk to remind me of God and his word, and the truth.”

The secretary of state’s primary message in Cairo was that the US was ready once more to embrace conservative Middle Eastern regimes, no matter how repressive, if they made common cause against Iran.

His second message was religious. In his visit to Egypt, he came across as much as a preacher as a diplomat. He talked about “America’s innate goodness” and marveled at a newly built cathedral as “a stunning testament to the Lord’s hand”.

The desire to erase Barack Obama’s legacy, Donald Trump’s instinctive embrace of autocrats, and the private interests of the Trump Organisation have all been analysed as driving forces behind the administration’s foreign policy.

And that passage is in our book, by the way! So there you have it, the people who claim to be the believers of good support the most immoral, inhumane man to ever be leader of the free world! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Old Tweets
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There’s been a lot of controversy in the news lately about old tweets. Yeah, you might have sent that extremely poor taste transphobic joke 10 years ago but does that mean that its’ relevant to the kind of person you are now? Hell no! Most likely it was a scenario like our president Donald J. Trump who spends most of his morning hours angrily tweeting on the toilet. And you can always tell how angry Trump is by the quality of his tweets based on what time of day they are and whether or not he’s using his unsecured iPhone. It’s 3:30AM and he’s angry tweeting about Pocahontas again? He must have really had to take a colossal shit! But that aside, we’re going to talk about two scenarios - Kevin Hart who lost his Oscars hosting job after some old tweets surfaced. The other is Guardians Of The Galaxy director James Gunn – who lost the job of directing GOTG 3 after some old tweets surfaced. So let’s talk about Kevin Hart first.

Well into the new year an old controversy from 2018 continues to dominate the headlines. After being announced as the host for this year’s Academy Awards, The Upside star Kevin Hart publicly stepped down from the gig after a series of his old homophobic tweets resurfaced. Over the past week Hart has tried several times to address the issue in a series of statements, appearances and posts, several of which have only fanned the flames further.

Initially, fans and LGBTQ activists asked that Hart to apologize for the tweets, but the star refused, saying that he had “addressed” the controversial statements already. The situation seemed to come to an end on Tuesday (Jan. 8) when Hart went on Good Morning America to say that he was “done” talking about his past behavior, while definitively saying that he would not host this year's Academy Awards even if producers asked him back.

So what exactly happened? How did this situation start? When were the star's "past apologies" made? How did the whole thing go viral, and what brought Hart to where he is now? Here's a complete timeline of the Hart Oscars controversy:

Yeah so he said that what… 10 years ago? Why does he have to apologize for it now? Well let’s compare that to Guardians Of The Galaxy director James Gunn and what he had to go through for a very similar situation. This is a case of “same shit, different day”!.

Disney Studios cut ties with "Guardians of the Galaxy" director James Gunn on Friday, shortly after Gunn took responsibility for old, offensive tweets that joked about topics including rape and pedophilia.

"The offensive attitudes and statements discovered on James’ Twitter feed are indefensible and inconsistent with our studio’s values, and we have severed our business relationship with him," said Disney chairman Alan Horn in a statement obtained by USA TODAY.


The firing occurred one day after groups including conservative website The Daily Caller dug up old tweets from the filmmaker's feed. Gunn is openly liberal and a known critic of President Trump.

According to Fox News, one of the now-deleted tweets said, “I like when little boys touch me in my silly place.”

You know this begs the question – do alt right websites like the Daily Caller have Google alert listings setup for “pedophile news”? I can guarantee I don’t! They are obsessed aren’t they? Well there’s two scenarios there – both not that dissimilar from each other. Now here’s where it gets beaten to death, because why wouldn’t it?

It only takes a few seconds to search for something on someone's Twitter account. With the right terms and a little bit of intuition, one may even find something that threatens to take down an entire career.

It's happened time and time again. Most recently, to Nick Vallelonga, a producer for "The Green Book," a feel-good story about interracial friends during the era of American segregation. He had to answer for an Islamophobic tweet from 2015 in which he supported President Donald Trump's false claim that Muslims in New York City cheered during the 9/11 attacks.

It happens to stars on the rise and stars at their peak. Late last year, actor Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Academy Awards, a gig he once described as a "dream," after tweets from 2009 to 2011 surfaced that contained homophobic language. In the world of sports, athletes at a critical juncture in their career -- an important game, a draft decision -- have been repeatedly waylaid by their own words that could have been dug up by anyone with a Twitter account and a vague inclination.

The question is, how does it keep happening at all? We live in an age of tweeting grandmas and child YouTube stars, of hyper-curated Instagram universes and infinitely expanding digital literacy. A reasonable level of social media awareness is not too much to expect -- for stars or the people that manage them. Why do famous people, whose images are central to their relevancy and livelihoods, keep letting themselves get played for their old bad internet behavior?

But is it? Let’s examine a bit further why celebrities have a tendency to tweet out offensive shit and the answer is actually pretty obvious!

"Every single one of us has bad thoughts," says Brian Harrington, a personal branding consultant in Los Angeles. He helps people build digital footprints that communicate an authentic image, and that can mean contending with controversy.

"As cool as someone like Kevin Hart is, there are going to be parts of him or anyone else that someone isn't going to like."

Yup that’s it exactly! No matter how famous or cool anybody is, someone is going to have a problem with it. Just ask anyone who’s appeared in a Star Wars movie in the last 5 years not named Mark Hamill or Carrie Fisher. Oh really, sir, that’s the joke you choose to leave on? You’re just proving my point exactly! And to further expand on this, let’s ask Idiocracy and Brooklyn 99 star Terry Crews what he thinks about the subject!

Actor Terry Crews has weighed in on Kevin Hart’s response to the controversy surrounding the comedian’s failed opportunity to host the 2019 Academy Awards.

Hart had been tapped late last year to host the ceremony, but resurfaced homophobic tweets –and his inability to appropriately apologize– cost him the gig. A late attempt by comedian Ellen DeGeneres to get Hart the hosting gig again also failed.

And now Crews, who is friends with Hart, has been able to perfectly explain why Hart was unable to properly overcome the scandal in time to reclaim the hosting role.

“He feels like he’s being attacked,” Crews told BuzzFeed’s Twitter show “AM to DM”. “But the truth is, he’s not.”

“The truth is, Kevin, you’re not being attacked,” he continued. “The truth is you have to just acknowledge what went on and acknowledge the pain of other people. That’s all anybody’s asking for. That’s it.”

That’s all well and good Terry, but that almost never happens! But this could explain why no one wants to host the Oscars anymore. Maybe people don’t want to be subjected to that kind of scrutiny? Hey it’s almost like running for president! Almost.

It’s been 30 years since the Academy Awards did not have a host. Do you remember it? That was the year Rain Man won Best Picture in a walk, leading all nominations with eight and wins with four. There were innovations and wrinkles at the 61st Oscars: Presenters began to say “And the Oscar goes to …” rather than the standard “And the winner is …” Comic writer Bruce Vilanch, a longtime Oscars staple, was hired to pen bits for the ceremony for the first time by show producer Allan Carr. Lucille Ball made her final public appearance. Throughout the night, real-life Hollywood couples like Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal, Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum, and Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell presented awards. Beau, Jeff, and Lloyd Bridges appeared together, as did Vertigo stars Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart. Composer and three-time Oscar winner Marvin Hamlisch served as musical arranger for the show. It was the year of Big, Working Girl, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Dangerous Liaisons, The Last Temptation of Christ, Bull Durham, A Fish Called Wanda, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, and Married to the Mob, all of which were nominated in some form.

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[font size="8"]How Is This Still A Thing?
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It’s time once again to ask:

This week: Logan Paul’s Youtube Channel. How is this still a thing? If you don’t know who Youtube star Logan Paul is, you’re probably better off not knowing. Logan Paul first gained traction on the video streaming service Vine and then moved to Youtube. His videos are known for generating a ton of controversy. Last year, he earned internet notoriety for visiting Japan’s infamous “Suicide Forest” and mocking the victims who took their lives there. And in case you thought he couldn’t sink any lower than that, it gets worse.

One year ago today, YouTube star Logan Paul was facing a heavy storm of criticism for a video he posted on his popular channel. In it, he and his friends were seen walking into Japan's Aokigahara forest -- an area well-known for being a place many go to end their lives -- and coming across a body. Paul showed the body in the video, only blurring the deceased's face, and he and his friends proceeded to laugh and make jokes about the situation in the recording.

The backlash began almost immediately, with many, including fellow YouTubers, speaking out against the video, how Paul behaved in it and the intent behind it. While Paul claimed he and his friends were there to document the "haunted aspect of the forest," critics pointed out that with the forest's reputation, it seemed highly unlikely that Paul and his entourage weren't aware of what they might find. It also seemed quite plausible that they went there in search of it to begin with.

As criticism mounted, Paul released an apology, first in a tweet and then in a video. And he claimed he didn't post the video for the views. "I did it because I thought I could make a positive ripple on the internet, not cause a monsoon of negativity," he said. YouTube faced calls for change as well, with YouTuber Laci Green calling it "a sociopathic garbage fire" and others saying the company had a responsibility to prevent videos like that from ever being published.

In response, both YouTube and Paul pledged to do better. But did they?

After taking a brief hiatus, Paul returned to YouTube with a video centered on suicide prevention, which included interviews with John Draper, the director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and activist Kevin Hines, among others. In the video, Paul shared ways to help those who might be considering suicide, pledged to donate $1 million and claimed the video was "just the beginning" of his self-education journey.

You mocked suicide victims, and forced Youtube to change some of its’ policies and apologize for your stupidity, what did you expect? Well in case you thought that he couldn’t possibly get any more insensitive, he goes and does this.

A year after the YouTube personality faced a wave of criticism for posting a video — which showed the body of an apparent suicide victim in Japan’s Aokigahara forest — Paul made a controversial remark about his 2019 New Year’s resolutions, sparking an immediate backlash from fans.

During an episode of his “Impaulsive” podcast on Wednesday, the 23-year-old and his co-host, Mike Majlak, explained that they were going to try a new resolution every month starting with “Sober-Vegan January” and “Fatal February.”

“We’re going to go the opposite,” Majlak said of February, noting the two will be eating steaks, drinking “big bottles” of vodka and “just wilin’ out.” For March though, the co-hosts said it was “Male-Only March.”

“We’re going to attempt to go gay for just one month,” Paul stated. “For one month, and then swing, and then go back,” Majlak added.

No… just no. You don’t “go gay” for a month. And if you have to apologize to the internet for something that they found completely insensitive and out of touch with reality, you done fucked up good sir! And if you’re wondering just how low a comment as stupid and insensitive as this was, well, be prepared for the backlash that follows!

Logan Paul, an internet personality with nearly 19 million followers on YouTube, has caused an uproar for saying that he wants to “go gay” for a month.

Paul, who made headlines last January after sharing a giggly video of a suicide victim in a Japanese forest, is best known for his goofy and laid back online persona. However, many people said that he went too far on his podcast, “Impaulsive,” last Wednesday.

Logan, talking about his resolutions for each month of the new year, said that he plans to have a “sober, vegan” January and a “male-only March.”

“It’s male-only March. We’re going to attempt to go gay for just one month,” Paul explained.

Many people wrote on social media that Paul implied that being gay is a choice, and clearly does not take the threat of homophobia seriously.

“That’s not how it works, @LoganPaul,” LGBTQ rights nonprofit GLAAD wrote on Friday.

Yeah that’s pretty low and blatantly false advertising there, Logan. By the way in case you’re wondering how his ill-fated boxing match with featherweight boxer Ryan Garcia went, well, let’s just say it did not go as expected, and Garcia got a TKO against Paul in a matter of minutes:

Ryan Garcia knocked Logan Paul to the floor with a flurry of hellacious punches following an appearance on his podcast.

The American, 20-year-old, super-featherweight boxing prospect was a guest on his fellow countryman’s show ‘Impaulsive’ this week and let the host sample a portion of his power punching after filming.

Paul, 23, is a YouTuber/Vlogger with over 18million subscribers who partook in a boxing event against rival British YouTuber Olajide ‘KSI’ Olatunji in August.

The pair are due to rematch this year, but Logan Paul has first endured a beating at the hands of Ryan Garcia, who pummelled him to the floor in an Instagram clip.

Garcia has amassed an impressive following during his development as a professional, gaining big exposure across various social media platforms despite being just 17-0.

So Logan Paul makes insensitive comments about the LGBT community, suicide victims, and got his ass kicked hard. Both literally and figuratively. That’s enough to make you ask – Logan Paul’s Youtube channel:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people and people are dumb. Stupid never takes a holiday and even though we did a People Are Dumb last week, there’s plenty of stories this week. So I want to start with this story out of Witchita Falls, Texas. Yeah you’ve probably all seen it. And this is a perfect example of life imitating art. Remember that episode of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia where Danny DeVito’s Frank Reynolds goes so far off the deep end that the gang has no choice but to give him an intervention and hopefully get him into rehab? And then it backfires spectacularly. Well, this woman took his concept of wine in a soda can a bit too far and well, we’ll let the story do the talking.

Wichita Falls police received a rather unique call Friday morning involving a woman drinking wine in a Walmart parking lot.

Employees requested officers to ban a woman from the local Walmart store after she reportedly had been drinking wine from a Pringles can for several hours while riding on an electric cart.

Hughes said the reporting party said the suspect had been riding around in the store's parking lot since 6:30 a.m. while drinking the alcoholic beverage.

So was it Barbecue Merlot or Pizza Pinot? Just don't mix the Smoked Cheddar with a Malbock, that's just bad for your pallet! Next up, we have this story out of Salt Lake City. Look, look. I’ve seen the hit Netflix movie “Bird Box”, and even I know that you should never attempt to drive your car with all the windows covered and painted. Because this happens:

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — Police say a Utah teenager crashed into another car when she covered her eyes as part of the so-called “Bird Box Challenge.”

Layton police Lt. Travis Lyman said Friday that the 17-year-old drifted into oncoming traffic and hit another car after she pulled a hat over her eyes to emulate “Bird Box,” a Sandra Bullock movie on Netflix where characters must be constantly blindfolded to avoid visions that urge them to die.

Videos of people trying to do things while blindfolded have attracted widespread attention online, and Netflix tweeted a warning about the challenge last week.

No one was hurt in the Monday crash north of Salt Lake City.

Lyman says it should serve as a warning he never thought he’d have to give: Don’t drive while blindfolded.

Obviously, don’t drive blindfolded, that’s the take away that you get from this story. Next up, we have this story out of Houston, Texas. And even if you’re the owner of a super fast car like the Dodge Viper, don’t drive it as fast as this guy did, especially through a toll booth with the Houston Chief Of Police going through it.

If you ever find yourself in front of daunting red and blue lights, be thankful they don't belong to Houston's top cop – like one Houston driver experienced Friday.

Houston Police Chief Art Acevedo was driving on the Hardy Toll Road when the driver of a Dodge Viper allegedly blew past him at 140 mph, the chief told Chron.com.

"It almost took my doors off," Acevedo said describing the moment.

He radioed the driver into police dispatch and gave chase in his police Chevrolet Tahoe, topping out around 120 mph, he said.

Next up, what’s our good friend Florida Man been up to? Well if you’re in a situation where you’re being threatened with a machete, I would definitely question the sanity of anyone who then brings up a different kind of threat.

SANTA ROSA COUNTY, Fla. (WTXL) - A Florida man is behind bars after he reportedly said he was going to kill his neighbors with a machete that had the word "kindness" written on the side.

Bryan Duane Stewart, 30, has been arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

WEAR obtained an arrest report that detailed how Stewart was arrested.

Deputies responded to a home in Milton for reports of banging and yelling. According to their report, a witness saw Stewart say, "he was going to 'kill'em with kindness.'"

The neighbors then went over to the home because a woman and child were inside. WEAR reports Stewart then grabbed a small machete knife with the word "kindness" written on the side and tried to stab one of the neighbors.

Stewart also ended up cutting another neighbor who tried to help. When authorities arrived, the report says Stewart had a strong odor of alcohol coming from him and was belligerent.

Finally this week, we have this story out of Odessa, Florida. And seriously, I know that you might be a fan of a particular kind of sandwich – like the Philly Cheesesteak for instance. And if it doesn’t come a certain way, it’s easy to dismiss it. But this guy went full blown psychopath on a vendor at a flea market for this.

ODESSA, Fla. - A Florida man was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge after he got into an argument with a cashier about a cheesesteak sandwich, according to authorities.

Joseph Lagana, 27, of Port Richey, was at the Gunn Highway Flea Market in Odessa on Sunday when he got into an argument with a cashier about receiving a sesame seed bun on a Philly cheesesteak, according to a Pasco County Sheriff's Office affidavit.

A deputy called to diffuse the situation said Lagana was "being loud and argumentative" to patrons at the flea market and "appeared heavily intoxicated."

Lagana was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge.

He was released after posting a $100 bond.

And that’s why you don’t order a cheesesteak at a flea market. That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 26: NASA
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It’s time for episode 26 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 32 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]NASA[/font]

We need some music for this one!

Can we also get Neil DeGrasse Tyson to host this one for us? Oh. My producer is telling me that he’s currently unavailable. So we’re going into deep space this week by hanging out with the National Aeronautical and Space Administration, better known as NASA. America has had a love affair with space since the 1960s and you can see NASA in a ton of movies whether it’s real life based Apollo 13, fictional The Martian, or comedy fare like Space Cowboys and Men In Black. So what does NASA actually do? For one thing they monitor all space traffic – think of them as your local traffic reporter but with much more sophisticated technology! In fact one of their missions is to monitor when a meteor could possibly wipe out all of humanity. Can you give us a little more advanced warning than Armageddon and Deep Impact had please?

There were some alarming headlines floating around over the weekend about how NASA has revealed a sure sign that would indicate the apocalypse is coming. This heart-pounding warning traces back to a video released on Jan. 10 from educational YouTube channel Big Think.

The video poses the question "Would scientists tell us about a looming apocalypse?" to NASA astronomer Michelle Thaller.

NASA has a history of being forthright about its work. You can browse its online database of near-Earth objects and scout for close approaches.

NASA is also busy studying potentially hazardous asteroid Bennu through the Osiris-Rex mission. What we learn about Bennu will be helpful as scientists develop plans for protecting our planet from an asteroid impact.

There are plenty of real things to fret about in this world, but NASA hiding evidence of an incoming Earth-shattering asteroid isn't one of them.

Thankfully space travel has come a long way since the days of Wiley Coyote! And while we can breathe a sigh of relief currently, there’s some asteroids currently hovering toward earth which will prompt NASA to be able to test out its’ system for detecting asteroids that are hurdling toward our planet.

The asteroid, dubbed by NASA Asteroid 2019 AG3, made a so-called “Earth Close Approach” today. NASA’s scientists at the California-based Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) have tracked the asteroid down to a 2.18am GMT (UTC) flyby. The startling revelation comes just one month after the rogue asteroid was first spotted by radars on December 12, 2018. NASA did not expect the space rock to hit the Earth anytime soon but the asteroid’s imposing size was a good enough reason to track it.

The JPL estimates Asteroid AG3 measures somewhere in the range of 210ft to 459.3ft (64m to 140m) in diameter.

An asteroid this big is about twice the wingspan of a Boeing 747 aeroplane.

Asteroids measuring 460ft (140m) across are considered “Potentially Hazardous Asteroids” (PHAs) if they approach the Earth close enough.

The largest known PHA is the gargantuan Apollo asteroid which is believed to measure roughly 4.3 miles in diameter (7km).

Thankfully our rockets are not made by Acme Corporation! NASA is also the home of a branch located in Pasadena, California – known as the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. And if you’ve seen the Matt Damon flick the Martian you know that JPL played a crucial role in developing emergency technology to help aid in his rescue. That and also the shit potatoes. But did you know they can also do cool shit like 3-D print space parts? Yeah kind of like in Avengers: Age Of Ultron!

Engineers at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) are set to contribute to the development of a hybrid 3D printing technology from the Advanced Manufacturing Research Centre (AMRC) in Sheffield, UK.

Known as THREAD, this method is capable of adding fibrous electrical, optical and structural elements, or “threads,” to the inside of plastic/polymer components.

It has been developed at the AMRC in collaboration with multinational aeronautical corporation Boeing and, according to creators, it is a “a potential game-changer” for 3D printing and the wider manufacturing industry.

The first details of Boeing and AMRC’s THREAD process surfaced in 2017 following a patent-filing by the method’s inventor Mark Cocking. At the time of this release, 3D Printing Industry interviewed Cocking who revealed that the technique is “not tied to a single AM process platform,” though initial patents relate to its addition to an SLA technique.

Of course now the harsh reality about how things are going. If the guy who we currently call president, Donald J. Trump, were in charge when the Martian takes place, Matt Damon’s Mark Whatney character would probably be left to die out in the harsh wilderness of Mars, because we currently have no government, and thus, no NASA. But at least we’ll have Space X and China to help privatize space exploration!

The local chapter of the American Federation of Government Employees, which is affiliated with the AFL-CIO, plans a rally calling for an end to the government shutdown.

The rally will happen on Tuesday at noon in front of the sign at NASA’s Johnson Space Center at 2101 NASA Parkway in southeast Houston.

Bautista is a NASA employee and the first vice president of AFGE Local 2284. He is one of about 2,800 NASA workers who have not been at work for more than three weeks.

He told KPRC 2, "I'm a young person with a lot of student debt. I left school with about $100,000 worth of student debt. So, for me, I'm able to cover a few paychecks. But beyond that, the bills will start stacking up."

Approximately 300 workers continue working, without a paycheck, in order to continue critical work, such as supporting the International Space Station. As a U.S. government employee, not even the American astronaut nearly 250 miles from Earth, living on board the space station, will receive a paycheck.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: C-
Likely hood To Survive: C+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re going to be taking another look at a crucial cabinet position when we check out the department that handles our money, the Fed!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Rüfüs Dü Söl[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a great band from Australia by way of Santa Monica. Their latest album is called “Solace” and you can see them at the Greek Theater in San Francisco on July 20th. Playing their song “No Place”, give it up for Rufus Du Sol!

Thank you Seattle! We had a blast! We are off to Vegas next live from Fremont St! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Comedy Underground, Seattle, WA
Special Thanks To: Comedy Underground Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Cavalry Chapel Choir, Redmond, WA
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
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Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
Advertising: Top 10 Advertising Department
HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Rufus Du Sol Appear Courtesy Of: Reprise Records
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 16, 2019, 06:00 PM (6 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-1: Game Of Groans Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #6-1: Game Of Groans Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Welcome welcome welcome!!!! We are back! We are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! I hope everyone had a nice holiday or holidays of whatever you choose to worship, but we’re back and we are ready to get down to business! What’s up Portland? Hey anyone know where I can get some beer and doughnuts? I mean how is the average BMI around here not 300 or more pounds? I mean seriously there’s tons of good beer and food here. I mean you guys have doughnuts the size of freaking Smart Cars! And it is cold as shit too. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! Ok so I love Christian Bale even more now. Yeah he was you know, most famous for playing Batman and Bruce Wayne in the Dark Knight trilogy. So he’s in a new movie that’s about former vice president Dick Cheney. It’s called Vice and if you haven’t seen it you know that he’s even more of a heartless asshole than you might think. Dick Cheney I mean. Yes, sir! And he won a Best Actor award for Vice, to add to his already huge reputation. But I do love that speech, can we show a clip of that speech for a minute? Yes, that’s right! He compared Dick Cheney to Satan! I am complete!!!! Ha, I love Tenacious D. And yes we’ve had them as a musical guest on the show last season. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But it’s weird – all of our favorite talk shows are currently on hiatus. But we did find this supercut of every time Trump claims he is the most knowledgeable on the subject and it is stunning. So let’s show that!


So where do we begin for our first edition of 2019? Well as always whenever we take an extended break, we like to play catch up on stuff we missed (1) during the break, and whew, there was quite a lot of it including Trump spending all of Christmas and New Year’s by himself. Yeah cue the sad trombone, thanks sound effects guy! In the second slot this week, we have to talk about the 800 pound gorilla in the room currently and that is the Trump Shutdown (2) because he won’t let go of the wall, and is attempting to rule with an iron fist, and it is backfiring on him spectacularly. For the third slot this week we got to talk about the reason for the season and that is Trump’s wall (3) and wow, he still thinks that a wall is going to magically solve all of our immigration issues. Boy he must be smoking some good Covfefe! In the fourth slot this week, we’ve got a new installment of our ongoing series “What’s Up With Brazil?”, and this week it’s official : Brazil has taken a hard right turn and sworn in Jair Bolsonaro (4) as their new president. In the 5th slot this week, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, is back and taking a look at food recalls, and answering the question “Are you gonna eat that?”. In the sixth slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is back from vacation and he’s ready to get to work predicting how the year ahead of us is going to work! In the seventh slot this week we have a new edition of “This Fucking Guy (Gal)” and we’re going to profile self proclaimed “Warrior Prophetess” Kat Kerr, and whew, is she bringing the crazy extra hard! In the number 8 slot this week we have another edition of “Explaining Jokes To Idiots”. So over the week last week you might have noticed that Louis CK was trending for all the wrong reasons and we will explain to you how comedy works. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot this week there’s a new installment of people are dumb because well, people are dumb! And the next installment of our ongoing series “Deep State Diaries” (10) is going to take a look at the Department Of The Interior! Plus to kick the year off we have some live music for you from the great Anderson.Paak! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Catch Up On Stuff We Missed
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Man does it feel good to be back everyone! And we picked the right city to debut the 6th season of the Top 10! As usual, whenever the Top 10 is out on an extended break like we were over the Christmas and New Year’s holiday, we like to play catch up on stuff we missed. Because we live in an era where there’s literally batshit crazy stuff happening every minute of every day. And whew, did we miss a lot! See, we may take a holiday but conservative idiocy definitely does not! I mean Trump pretty much spent Christmas and his favorite holiday – New Year’s Eve – pretty much all alone in the White House by himself. I know usually we need the Sad Hulk music for this one but we really need something much sadder.

Yeah there we go! So how did Trump spend the most merry and jolliest of holidays?

At what age do children wonder whether Santa really exists?
President Donald Trump would like to know.

In a Christmas Eve call, Trump asked a 7-year-old named Collman Lloyd whether the child still believes in Santa Claus.
"Are you still a believer in Santa? Because at 7, it's marginal, right?" Trump asked Collman.

Collman's response, though inaudible to the press, left Trump with a chuckle and a smile.
The call came around 6:30 p.m. Monday as the President and first lady Melania Trump spoke on separate phones to children whose calls to NORAD had been patched through to the White House lines.

In front of a crackling fire and between two Christmas trees, Trump wished Collman a Merry Christmas and asked the child's age and Christmas plans and wondered how school was going.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! That’s right – Trump literally asked a 7 year old kid what age it’s acceptable to stop believing in Santa! And by the way – no he didn’t show up in Florida for his annual Mar-A-Shithole NYE bash. But guess what? Even club patrons think that place is much more pleasant when he’s not around!

Palm Beach is a little town that parties big, and the biggest party of the year is Donald Trump’s New Year’s revel at Mar-a-Lago. The president may have been born in June, but he is a true Scorpio who lives to get even, and Mar-a-Lago’s mammoth annual event is in some measure an expression of pure revenge.

To understand that one must go back to the mid-eighties, when Trump and his then wife Ivana arrived in Palm Beach. It would only have been natural that the couple join the exclusive Bath and Tennis Club, which lies on the ocean just across South Ocean Boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. But when Ivana talked to the club’s president, James Oelsner, about applying for membership, Oelsner says he told her they best not bother. Her husband, he said, was so controversial that they would surely be blackballed. Trump says he didn’t join the B&T because the club restricted Jews and blacks, but the fact is he wasn’t wanted, and he knew it.

Trump obtained his vehicle for revenge against the Palm Beach establishment when, a decade later, he turned Mar-a-Lago into a club with a majority Jewish membership. He brought in world class entertainment and, for New Year’s Eve, put on a gloriously over-the-top event. Across the road, the ladies and gentlemen of the B&T had their parties too, but theirs had all the panache of a ladies tea. Many of the WASPS were rhythmically challenged, and as they shuffled across the dance floor, the exuberant sounds of rock ‘n roll wafted across the boulevard from Mar-a-Lago. It just wasn’t fair that many of these B&T evenings were sedately boring while not three hundred yards away, the island’s unwanted newcomers were having more fun.

We can only imagine that was his reaction as the countdown clock reached midnight on 12/31. I mean come on, one NYE you’re partying with mobsters, the next NYE, you’re eating cheeseburgers in bed yelling at the fake news media and tweeting about your haters and losers. Yes that did happen!


Whoa, hey, take your caps lock off, man! This is the new year we’re talking about here, no need to get angry! Well maybe he was mad when this story broke:

Three weeks after the 9/11 attacks, Vice President Dick Cheney was already trying to tie the horror to Iraq. He floated a bogus story that earlier in 2001, Mohammad Atta, ringleader of the terrorist attacks, had met in a Prague cafe with an Iraqi intelligence official.

Now another shadowy meeting in Prague that may or may not have taken place is in the news.

On Dec. 27, McClatchy DC—a reputable news outlet that broke the most important stories about the Iraq War—reported that cell phone tower records obtained by foreign intelligence sources place Michael Cohen (or at least his phone) in Prague in the late summer of 2016. The story says this information, as well as the fruits of electronic eavesdropping by an Eastern European intelligence agency that picked up discussion among Russians of Cohen’s presence in Prague, are now in the possession of the office of Special Counsel Robert Mueller.

If the McClatchy story is true, it has huge implications for Donald Trump's survival in the presidency. But that’s a major if; unlike many other scoops about the Mueller probe, no other outlet has been able to confirm McClatchy’s reporting. And the McClatchy reporters have made it clear that they have no corroborating evidence of their claims and that some of their sources are indirect at best.

I think it’s a little too late for that, Donny! And we’ll get to the 119th Congress in a minute. But really there is an actual conspiracy being involved here, and no, it doesn’t involve a super secret ring of underground elite pedophiles who are engaged in satanic human trafficking! Nope. I mean Trump really thinks he’s playing a Game of Thrones here. This is more like a Game Of Groans!

What's Trump doing with that Game Of Thrones poster? Does he even know what Game Of Thrones is? I can't imagine he has an HBO subscription. For a guy who doesn't read and wouldn't know pop culture references if they jumped up and bit him, Game Of Thrones is way too advanced for him! Maybe he should start with the Diary Of A Wimpy Kid series and work his way up! We’re going to build a wall along the North and make the Stormlands pay for it. It’s gonna be huge, believe me!

When President Trump tweeted out a meme of his envisioned steel-slat wall with the words, “THE WALL IS COMING” over the weekend, many fans of “Game of Thrones” accused the president of never actually watching the hit HBO series.

In the series, the enormous wall of ice protecting the Seven Kingdoms from encroaching wildlings is — spoiler alert — eventually destroyed, which is presumably not the end result Trump envisions along the southern border. But Trump’s allusion to the “Game of Thrones” wall is all the more curious for another reason.

The fictional “Game of Thrones” barrier is actually based on a real wall. In fact, it’s one of the most famous walls in ancient Western civilization — one that may hold a lesson for Trump. A massive wall, said historian David Frye, is nothing without an equally massive investment in upkeep and patrol. That fact is evident in the true story of Hadrian’s Wall, the inspiration behind the fictional frozen wall in “Game of Thrones.”

George R.R. Martin, the author of the book series, “A Song of Ice and Fire,” that inspired “Game of Thrones,” has previously revealed that he was standing atop Hadrian’s Wall in 1981, imagining himself as a second-century Roman soldier, when he had the idea for his wall.

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[font size="8"]The Trump Shutdown
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Yeah so republicans got their asses handed to them in the midterm election but that doesn’t mean that things are going to get back to some sort of normalcy are they? Yeah no, that’s exactly our answer too, and while we are going to talk about the wall in a minute – we have to talk about something that is a direct result of the Wall, and that is Trump’s pissing contest about funding the wall that is turning into one of the worst things to happen to his presidency so far. Just how bad is it?

With the government shutdown set to enter its third week, and with the possibility of it lasting for months more, the most tangible evidence of its impact appears to be the most gastronomical.

People are having a difficult time dispensing with their poop.

At national parks across the country, human excrement is piling up, bathrooms have become unbreathable heaps of bodily fluids, and park officials are noticing visitors relieving themselves in places where they should not be.

The shit storm—for lack of a more apt phrase—is a byproduct of a quirk in how the government has approached this shutdown versus those prior. Instead of closing the national parks, the Trump administration has kept them open but with little to no staff there to help manage the premises. With sanitation workers not on the job, human toxicity has been left unattended. And unlike other outcomes of the shutdown—from disrupted scientific research, to furloughed federal workers, to government programs operating on shoestring staff and budgets—this one has broken through the news clutter.

At the Point Reyes National Seashore in California, the buildup of human waste was so bad that the park had to be closed for health hazards. The East Bay Times reported that “pit toilets had become ‘incapacitated.’” John Dell’Osso, chief of interpretation for the park, told the San Francisco

That’s right – things are so bad right now that the national parks system is literally overflowing with feces right now. Yeah that’s a legacy for Trump there! You know it takes 100 years to build one’s reputation and then it takes 5 minutes from some jackass with a wrecking ball to knock it all down, and Trump is that jackass! Just how bad is it?

WASHINGTON — The impact of a partial government shutdown began to ripple across the economy as it stretched into Day 17, with mortgage applications delayed, public companies unable to get approval to raise capital and thousands of Secret Service agents expected to show up for work without pay.

President Trump and congressional Democrats have made little progress in negotiations to end a shutdown that has affected about 800,000 federal workers, many of whom will miss their first paycheck this week, and who owe a combined $249 million in monthly mortgage payments, according to the online real estate firm Zillow.

The shutdown shows no sign of ending soon, with Mr. Trump announcing Monday that he would address the nation on Tuesday evening from the Oval Office to discuss what he called the crisis at the southern border, and the White House saying that he would travel to the border this week as part of his effort to persuade Americans of the need for a wall — the sticking point in negotiations with Democrats.

The standoff is beginning to inflict pain on Americans, whose lives are affected, in one way or another, by the federal government. It is already the second-longest shutdown in history, behind the one that started in December 1995 and lasted 21 days.

And just how badly is the government wrecked? Well we already mentioned how bad the poop situation is at our national parks and how average Americans are starting to feel it but one of the worst hit is our airports. Yes, the TSA is completely fucked up right now. You thought you hated long lines at the airport? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

The nation’s airports continue to operate, even as parts of the government remain shut down: air traffic control workers and airport security officers remain on the job. But as the shutdown moves into its third week, some fear it’s only a matter of time before the nation’s air traffic system begins to feel the impact.

Officials at the Transportation Security Administration acknowledge that growing numbers of security screeners are not showing up for work, but say the call-outs aren’t significant enough to have an impact on airport operations.

According to TSA officials, roughly 51,000 employees are involved in the airport screening process. The TSA is part of the Department of Homeland Security, which is the largest federal agency affected by the partial shutdown.

TSA spokesman Michael Bilello said Tuesday that “call outs” were slightly higher at 4.6 percent versus 3.8 percent at this time last year, but that the number was not large enough to have a significant impact on operations.

Come on even beer, beer is being affected by the shut down! OK you can wreck havoc on our airports and our national park system but I will come after you if you do any interfering with our precious, precious beers!!! What? Wanna fight about it???

Full Mile Beer Co. & Kitchen opened for business in Sun Prairie right as the government was shutting down.

"Since we just opened three weeks ago, this is the first time we actually had to file our federal quarterly tax," said co-owner C.J. Hall.

The IRS is closed due to the shutdown. When Hall had questions about filing taxes for his brewery for the first time, there was no one to answer his questions on the other end.

"I had some questions about it. So I hopped on the website, found the 1-800 number, called and got the recorded message," Hall said.

Hall said he filed his taxes as best as he could and said, "If they're wrong, I'm sure someone will tell us at some point."

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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That wall icon is the perfect one for this next entry isn’t it? Yes of course we’re going to talk about Trump’s completely asinine border wall. And it is asinine. Because I am starting to think that Trump hasn’t exactly thought this thing through. Oh wait, who am I kidding? Of course he hasn’t I mean we’re almost an entire presidential administration in to doing this Top 10 thing here. And of course we’re doing this thing during the worst president of all time. I mean this whole wall thing is completely absurd, and Trump Is running this show like he’s the king of Game Of Thrones. This is more like a Game Of Groans!

Building a wall along the border with Mexico was one of Mr Trump's key election promises.

The White House says the wall is critical to stopping illegal immigrants and drugs entering the country.

The border is 1,954 miles (3,145 km) long, with about 650 miles of various types of fencing already in place through California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas.

According to documents obtained by CNN at the beginning of 2018, officials told Congress that the Trump plan would mean 864 miles of new wall and 1,163 miles of replacement wall. It would cost $33bn (Ł26bn).

Trump is literally holding this country hostage for something that makes absolutely no sense. Oh and by the way in case you were wondering what happened to the wall on Game Of Thrones?

That’s right – the knight winds up destroying the wall! That’s what happens when you build walls that are meaningless! But this is absolutely scary what this guy is doing.

One South Carolina politician is not holding back when it comes to the government shutdown, President Donald Trump and Republican leadership in the U.S. Senate.

U.S. representative James Clyburn, the new House Majority Whip, released a statement Sunday criticizing the president and Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell, saying Trump is holding Americans “hostage.”

In his statement, the Democrat from Columbia said the House of Representatives plans to vote on “bills to reopen vital government services,” to allow federal employees to return to work.

He then put the onus on McConnell, R-Kentucky, saying in the statement it is “unconscionable,” to block votes on the “bills to reopen the government.”

Yeah because if there’s one guy you can trust to end this shit, it’s Mitch McConnell! Ever notice that Trump had an operation on his asshole and Mitch McConnell had an operation on his middle finger? I know what are these two guys trying to tell us? And you know what? Come on with this shit already, we really need to get the adults back in charge!

President Trump has made more than 7,000 false claims as president — and that doesn’t even include his clearly ridiculous, fanciful claims that can’t be directly disproved. Such is the case with his recent claim that other presidents have told him they should have built the border wall when they were in office. There are only four living former presidents, three of them have denied it was them, and a fourth — Jimmy Carter — has never endorsed a border wall and seems unlikely to have done so, given his focus on humanitarianism. (Update: The Carter Center now says it wasn’t Carter, either.) The idea that even one of them confided this in Trump is hard to stomach; the idea that multiple did so is just bonkers.

But alas, when you work for Trump, you can’t just admit your boss made it up. So you do what Mick Mulvaney did Sunday: squirm.

The acting White House chief of staff was confronted about the claim by CNN’s Jake Tapper, and he commenced stumbling through a largely nonsensical argument abut semantics and what the word “wall” means. Then he finally just admitted he doesn’t know who the president is/presidents are:

Like that ever stopped Wiley Coyote, just like Trump he’s a super genius! And by the way what’s going to stop this? Who’s going to pay for it? I got a hint: it ain’t Mexico. It’s gonna be us! And you know how hard this is going to be? Trump is a fucking idiot. Oh wait, he knows everything. Or does he?

From western California to eastern Texas, across four US states and 24 counties, the 1,933-mile US-Mexico border criss-crosses arid desert, rugged mountains, and winding rivers.

For 654 of those miles, fencing separates the two countries from each other.

The 7.3 million people who live in the border counties on each side of the line have watched for years as security grew tighter and illegal crossings tapered off.

In just the last 12 years, the US government built the barriers, deployed troops, and started using advanced surveillance technology — all in an effort to tame and control some of the wildest and remotest land in the United States.

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[font size="8"]Jair Bolsonaro
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Welcome to your new nightmare, Brazil! And hey if you think I’m not going to a piece on Brazil’s creeping dictatorship without wearing a traditional Carnivale costume and playing Samba music, you are dead wrong! Hit it! So in case you haven’t noticed during the last two weeks, a new era of ultra far right fascism has begun in the South American country under their new president Jair Bolsonaro, a guy who is a Putin stooge and who many have described as the “Trump Of The Tropics”. And he is unbelievably scary, and what he’s doing actually puts Trump to shame, and it’s only going to get worse! He’s already got to work purging his enemies!

Brazil’s new president has authorised the dismissal of civil servants who do not share his far-right ideology, it has been reported.

Having taken office this week, Jair Bolsonaro has launched a purge of left-wing government officials with approximately 300 people expected to be dismissed.

Officials who are seen as being supportive of the previous left-wing and centrist governments will be removed to “clean the house”, Mr Bolsonaro’s chief of staff Onyx Lorenzoni said.

“It’s the only way to govern with our ideas, our concepts and to carry out what Brazil’s society decided in its majority,” Mr Lorenzoni said, according to Die Welt.

He added that the vast proportion of those dismissed are on temporary contracts and their removal is necessary to “do away with the Socialist and Communist ideas that during 30 years have led us to the chaos in which we live.”

Because purges always work so well don’t they? Just look at Turkey, the Philippines, Poland, and Hungary to find out where Brazil’s headed. Because Putin is turning the world’s democracies on their ear by spreading fear, hate, and misinformation that gets creeps like Bolsonaro and Trump elected. And guess who he’s going after? Oh wait, you don’t have to! If you’ve been following Trump you already know!

Newly installed President Jair Bolsonaro targeted Brazil’s indigenous groups, descendants of slaves and the LGBT community with executive orders in the first hours of his administration, moving quickly after a campaign in which the far-right leader said he would radically overhaul many aspects of life in Latin America’s largest nation.

Sao Paulo's stock market, meanwhile, jumped 3.56 percent to a record closing of 91,012 points as new Cabinet ministers reinforced the intent to privatize state-owned companies and a Brazilian arms maker benefited from Bolsonaro's plans to loosen gun controls. Similar spikes in stock prices also occurred during the presidential campaign.

One of the orders issued late Tuesday, hours after Bolsonaro's inauguration, likely will make it all but impossible for new lands to be identified and demarcated for indigenous communities. Areas set aside for "Quilombolas," as descendants of former slaves are known, are also affected by the decision.

Another order removed the concerns of the LGBT community from consideration by the new human rights ministry.

But of course he’s going to restore order, people! I mean just look at how well Trump is trying to fix an already burning ship. He’s pledging that Brazil has been lifted from the confines of socialism and political correctness! Wait, that sounds familiar. We got to keep our composure people!!!!! We can’t have anybody freaking out here!!!

Brazil‘s newly inaugurated President Jair Bolsonaro said on Tuesday (January 01) that he would “restore order,” and he vowed to tackle corruption, crime and economic mismanagement in Latin America’s largest nation.

Bolsonaro, a former army captain turned lawmaker who openly admires Brazil‘s 1964-1985 military dictatorship, promised in his first remarks as president to adhere to democratic norms, after his tirades against the media and political opponents had stirred unease.

A seven-term congressman who spent decades on the fringes of Brazilian politics, Bolsonaro was swept to power in October by voters’ outrage with traditional political parties, making him Brazil‘s first right-wing president since the dictatorship.

Voters punished mainstream parties following more than four years of graft investigations that laid bare the largest political corruption scheme ever discovered. Centrist parties were trounced, reshaping Brazil‘s political landscape and polarising Congress.

Following a knife attack during the presidential campaign that left Bolsonaro hospitalized for weeks, security was tight for his inauguration. Some 10,000 police officers and soldiers were deployed on the streets of Brasilia, the capital, as Bolsonaro and his wife rode in an open-topped Rolls-Royce to Congress.

And speaking of keeping our composure, guess what? You’re in good company, Brazil! Because guess who Bolsonaro is already courting? He’s courting Putin’s favorite president, Donald J. Trump, and we all know what a dumpster fire he’s been setting here in America!

Bolsonaro issued a directive giving the Agriculture Ministry, which is dominated by a powerful agro-business lobby, control over areas reserved for Brazil's indigenous peoples and the descendants of former slaves. He made it nearly impossible for new protected lands to be demarcated. A government agency run by a prominent general was given the ability to "monitor" international organisations and nongovernmental organisations operating in Brazil. And the LGBT community was excluded from a list of groups whose concerns would be protected by a new Human Rights Ministry.

None of this should be a surprise. Bolsonaro is a strident far-right ideologue, notorious for his bigoted rhetoric against women, minorities, the poor and LGBT Brazilians. Once a buffoonish figure on the fringes of the country's politics, he marshalled deep frustrations with Brazil's dysfunction — its stagnating economy, its soaring crime, its corrupt political elites — to score dramatic victories in elections last year. Now he is following through on his promises to upend the status quo and crack down on imagined enemies.

Perhaps more conspicuous was the enthusiastic cheerleading coming from the Trump Administration. Bolsonaro has long been likened to United States President Donald Trump — another angry nationalist bent on radically shifting his country to the right while trying to tear down the political achievements of opponents to the left.

Former Trump adviser Stephen Bannon whispered encouragement to Bolsonaro's camp. The Brazilian politician, meanwhile, launched Trumpian attacks on everything from "fake news" to refugees.

Bet you didn’t think you were going to hear the last of Steve Bannon did you? I mean last we saw he could barely fill the breakfast buffet at Holiday Inn and getting canned from talking about having sex with robots! And you know that most of the people there were there for the free buffet and couldn’t give less of a shit about Steve Bannon. But in case you’re wondering how well Brazil’s war on crime is going, just look at what happened this week at Rio’s landmark Cristo Redentor statue:

Dozens of tourists hiking toward the famous Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro were held at gunpoint for up to two hours in a mass robbery that could mark an early test for anti-crime crackdowns promised by Brazil’s new president.

Police said Friday that at least three assailants carrying knives and a gun set up the ambush on the trail, which cuts through a dense forest that borders a slum on the outskirts of the city and has been the site of numerous muggings.

In total, more than 30 people were robbed Thursday — about half foreigners from Asia, Europe and elsewhere in South America — as the thieves took hostages and waited for more tourists to arrive.

They took cellphones, cameras, wedding rings and credit cards, police said. Nobody was hurt.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates
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Hey Portland, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

“Are you gonna eat that?” is a question for the ages. But these days you might want to think twice before asking that question. It seems there is a food recall just about every other day. In fact there’s almost too many to count. Whether it’s sausages or chicken or lettuce or tomatoes or potatoes, there’s so many recalls that you can’t even begin to comprehend them. And under the recent government shutdown perpetrated by President Trump, it could get so much worse! In fact before you hit the stove here’s what you might want to do first.

There is no poop apocalypse.

Food recalls throughout 2018 may have some American consumers nervous to put anything in their mouths, but the U.S. food system is still among the safest in the world, especially considering the sophistication of the country’s supply chains, the sheer number of people eating in this country and the reporting tools in place.

It seems like there is a new federal-government warning every day – No romaine! Watch out for beef! Don't even think about Honey Smacks! – which may lead us to believe our food supply isn't safe.

Experts say the opposite is true.

The average American eats close 960 pounds of food a year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Economic Research Service. And only a tiny percentage of all those millions of products is recalled – usually before any of those 300 million-plus Americans even put it in their mouths.

Poop Apocalypse by the way – not a band who you want to see playing at the Troubadour this weekend or next weekend. But just because there’s lots of reasons not to enjoy your food doesn’t mean that you should stop buying it. So how will that affect your every day business if you work in the food industry?

You may want to think twice about those grab-and-go-food items.

Millions of pounds of ready-to-eat salads and premade food items including entrees, burritos, wraps and pizzas at several big-name retailers such as Kroger, Whole Foods, 7-Eleven, Trader Joe's and Walmart have been recalled due to the potential risk of listeria and salmonella contamination.

The recalls stem from those issued by a dozen food manufacturers including Bakkavor Foods, Envolve Foods and Ruiz Food Products. The food makers notified the U.S. Department of Agriculture about products they shipped that could include ingredients such as corn, diced onions and other vegetables possibly tainted with bacteria – all provided from a single company, McCain Foods, the USDA says.

The initial recalls, announced by the USDA on Oct. 17, involved relatively small quantities, ranging from 217 pounds to 940 pounds of salads. Among those products recalled last week were Whole Foods' Santa Fe style salad with chicken, sold at stores in California; Trader Joe's labeled BBQ flavored chicken salad, sold in several states; and Walmart's marketside fiesta salad with steak, sold in some of its stores.

Yeah it’s kind of like that. But really don’t reach for that grab and go item – who knows how long it’s been sitting on the shelf? And by the way if you can’t keep track of all the food recalls, don’t worry, even the government cant. And as has already been mentioned it’s only going to get worse. So much worse.

Some of the biggest food recall news of 2018 didn’t come from a food producer or distributor. And, it didn’t force consumers to check their cupboards or refrigerators for potentially poisonous food. It came from FDA Commissioner Scott Gottlieb in September when he announced the agency would begin publicly disclosing retail locations that may have sold or distributed recalled food — in some circumstances.

The shift away from protecting “confidential corporate information” and toward public safety is so significant it made our Top 10 list of food safety news stories for 2018.

Another headline out of the Food and Drug Administration’s 2018 recall file was “the agency’s first-ever mandatory recall order,” Gottlieb said in a Late November statement about the FDA’s investigation of contamination of kratom products and dozens of related illnesses. The kratom situation, which included multiple recalls and a Salmonella outbreak, also earned a spot on the Food Safety News Top 10 list for the year.

Other big recall news in the “Year of the Dog” involved millions of eggs, millions of pounds of meat and poultry, an unrevealed volume of other foods under the jurisdiction of FDA and the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS). Here, in no particular order, are some of the most noteworthy recalls initiated in 2018.

And if you want even some of the recent food recalls, here’s just a short list:

Another Jennie-O Turkey Store, this one in Faribault, MN, late Friday recalled more than 164,000 pounds of raw ground turkey products that may be contaminated with Salmonella Reading, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS). The recalled turkey was shipped to retail locations nationwide. Based on the continuing investigation, additional products from other companies may also be recalled.

Four days after the investigation of the latest romaine lettuce E. coli outbreak led to Adam Bros. Farms in Santa Barbara, California, Adam Bros. recalled red leaf lettuce, green leaf lettuce and cauliflower.

Meanwhile, on Tuesday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention updated its romaine lettuce consumption advice, saying U.S. consumers should “not eat and retailers and restaurants not serve or sell any romaine lettuce harvested from certain counties in the Central Coastal growing regions of northern and central California (Monterey, San Benito, Santa Barbara). If you do not know where the romaine is from, do not eat it.”

Certain types of 9Lives cat food are being recalled because they could be missing an essential nutrient.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration says 9Lives Protein Plus With Tuna & Chicken and 9Lives Protein Plus With Tuna & Liver could contain dangerously low levels of thiamine, also known as vitamin B1.

Yes, even cat food is not immune from the food recalls. That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Portland, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation! I am back! I am rested and ready to work again! For I provide entertainment in our church for you, the people! I hope you had a good High Holidays, I know I did! For I spent mine trying to come up with ways that this year could either go right or wrong. And apparently many of our brothers and sisters also did the same thing that I did. No one can predict how the new year is going to go, no one can predict how the weather works! But they might as well try. And I cite the Good Book as my precedent in this one!

Hank Kunneman, a right-wing pastor who runs One Voice Ministries in Omaha, Nebraska, delivered a prophetic sermon on New Year’s Eve in which he declared that God will use 2019 to weaken and divide the Democratic Party ahead of the 2020 elections.

“Watch what I will do, says the Lord,” Kunneman said. “How is this, you say, we have a Democratic House? Listen, there is a spirit, and I’ve allowed it, an evil spirit—and I’m not speaking political, says the Lord, I’m speaking to that which has been devised by the enemy to seek to stall you, to create division and conflict. As it was in the days of Pharaoh and of Egypt, when they stood proud and said, ‘We shall stop Moses and we shall stop Israel,’ so this House that is seeking to align is whispering in secret this same thing.”

“Who do you think you are?” Kunneman continued, speaking on behalf of God. “For as I drowned Pharaoh and his army, I will drown the lying spirits that seek to divide. Out of your mouth, oh donkey party, you shall speak and you will overplay your hand. And because you will overplay your hand, there shall come a split in your own party, for the division that you shall seek to bring shall divide your own party and it shall greatly effect the 2020 election.”

Yes really! I mean how crazy do you have to be to already call something that hasn’t even happened yet? What else could they be cooking up? You do know that lying is a sin and it says so in my good book, I have a copy right here in my hand, my congregation! But would you be think that the left are committing unspeakable horrors in the new year?

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist founder of Infowars, told listeners that President Trump will spend 2019 “going into battle” against his supposed foes, which includes the deep state, pedophile rings, and “the censorship.”

Jones spent his New Year’s Eve broadcasting live to the Infowars audience, during which he ruminated on the “death-defying life” he leads and declared 2018’s winners and losers. During the show, Jones spoke with a caller who told Jones that Trump has “got to declassify FISA, expose the corruption, arrest the traitors, and arrest the pedophiles” in 2019. The list of demands fits the standard fanfare of conspiracy theorist Trump supporters and rings reminiscent of the prophecies surrounding the QAnon conspiracy theory.

“I agree, victory or death, he now looks like he’s cleaning house. He’s getting rid of all the double agents and the word is that Trump is going to go into battle now. We’re talking he’s going to strike back against the censorship. He’s going to strike back against the pedophile rings—it’s already begun,” Jones said. “He’s going to strike back against the deep state. He’s going to strike back against all the criminal activity of [James] Comey and [Robert] Mueller being Russian operatives. So, just get ready.”

Last year, Jones was almost universally de-platformed from major social media websites including Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, iTunes and Spotify.

Excuse me a minute… you know Alex, no one calls it “the censorship”. And if you do call it that, you probably don’t know what censorship is! And we’re not touching that subject with a 10 foot pole, believe me! Well did you know that could lead to war? And that war is a coming! I say war is a coming my friends!!

The framer of a far-right survivalist movement in the Pacific Northwest rang in the new year by warning of religious civil war.

James Wesley, Rawles, (sic) a former U.S. Army intelligence officer and self-described religious separatist who once called Islam a “religion of evil and death,” thinks a “war of world views” may come as early as 2020. And he’s urging his readers to strategically relocate inland to red states.

“I’m predicting a Third Gulf War, but it won’t be fought in the Middle East,” Rawles published on his SurvivalBlog.com, which claims to have over 320,000 unique visitors each week. “It will be the Second Civil War, here in America and caused by the gulf between the right and left — or between the godly and the godless — or between the libertarians and the statists — or between the individualists and the collectivists.”

Rawles hedges by saying that armed confrontations may still be a generation away, if they come at all, but the upcoming presidential election and potential “vote counting manipulation” could trigger riots and kick off a civil war where some states would demand partition or secession.

Rawles cites the polarization of the United States’ two major political parties, an urban-rural divide and the “overt politicization” of government agencies — singling out the Federal Bureau of Investigations, Central Intelligence Agency, Defense Intelligence Agency and the Department of the Interior — as indicators of future conflict.

By the way can we just start calling these people “Nostradumbass”? I mean if you think you know what the year is going to bring and we’re only one week in, it’s going to be a long freaking year ahead, am I right about that? Can I get an AMEN???? And by the way, if someone who is uber religious claims to be a prophet, and they get called out for their prophecy as being false, never ever do that! Because these people are so insane that they can’t see how crazy they really are!

At the end of 2018, we posted a compilation of wrong predictions and false prophecies that had been made by various Trump-loving pundits and “prophets” during the year and right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau is not happy about his inclusion on our list.

We noted that on several instances in May and June of last year, Wallnau proclaimed that the Lord had showed him, based on a passage from the Book of Esther, that there would be “massive disclosures” that would incontrovertibly prove that Barack Obama and members of his administration had worked with the “deep state” to surveil, spy upon, and undermine President Trump.

June 6 would be “D-Day,” Wallnau predicted. “It’s coming out.”

The promised revelations never materialized, but Wallnau responded to our post in a video he streamed on Periscope last Saturday by insisting that his prophecy had nevertheless been accurate.

“They never mention anything I got right,” Wallnau complained, “which is why I’m particularly annoyed about being lumped in with prophetic inaccuracy.”

Wallnau insisted that revelations regarding the text messages between FBI agents Peter Strzok and Lisa Page were revealed right after he issued his prophecy, which led to the resignation of Andrew McCabe and the elevation of Rod Rosenstein.

So there you have it folks! Just don’t call out these people on how wrong they are because that would offend the good LAWRD JAYSUS! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy (Gal): Kat Kerr
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This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is actually a woman and one who is particularly crazy at that. We’re talking someone who thinks they can predict the weather and current events. I’m of course talking about Katt Kerr, who is a religious right pundit who frequently appears on shows like Dave Daubenmire and Sheila Zalinksy. Which really shows you how much they are scraping the bottom of the barrel at this point. Just how crazy is Ms. Kerr? Well there’s this. I mean how do you think you know what’s going on in heaven? We barely know what’s going on here?

On Saturday, self-proclaimed “prophetess” and “weather warrior” Kat Kerr spoke at River Rock Church in Reno, Nevada, where she reported that following the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, God gave her a vision of heaven in which she saw the souls of those who had been aborted having a party because Kavanaugh will be the key to overturning Roe v. Wade.

“God picked [Kavanaugh] like he picked Trump and he kept telling me, ‘I don’t care what they say, he is sitting on the Supreme Court and he is going to wipe out Roe v. Wade,'” Kerr said. “He kept showing me, letting me see all of these millions of babies who had been aborted that are in heaven, they sang and celebrated. They celebrated as they were saying, ‘Yes, he is going to sit on the Supreme Court.'”

“Today, they had a party in heaven,” Kerr added, “and they celebrated that other babies being conceived in the womb one day will never have to fear their lives being taken and they’ll get to complete their destiny on this earth. So there was a big party in heaven today because of that.”

“There is now God in the White House, because he’s welcomed and allowed to be there,” she continued. “And he said, ‘Now, I have permission to be in the Supreme Court’—because of Kavanaugh, as a believer siting on the bench in the Supreme Court—he said, ‘Now, I have the right to speak into the court system and because of that, I have assigned three special ops angels [to protect Kavanaugh].'”

Yeah probably! But while we’ve profiled many members of the religious right on this series from Lance Wallnau to Dave Daubenmire but these guys don’t hold a candle to the crazy that is Kat Kerr! I mean none of them think they know what is going on in heaven or think they can predict the weather. Or can they?

Pat Robertson is not alone in commanding Hurricane Florence to go somewhere else and not do any damage, in the name of Jesus, of course. Kat Kerr, who has repeatedly commanded hurricanes and volcanoes and wildfires to stop with no effect whatsoever, is “taking command” of Florence and sending it away.

“We’re not going to agree with any of the forecasts they are giving for that storm, the categories it is going to get to, the damage it is going to do, the flooding it’s going to do,” Kerr declared. “We are crushing it.”

“This is not a game,” she said. “We take authority over Florence and we say, ‘You will not grow, you will not hit land, you will not do destructive things to America or anywhere.’ … As a member of the body of Christ, I have authority over the storms and right now, I take authority over Florence, over any of the demonic army controlling it and powering it and steering it and I say, ‘No, you do not have authority over the weather, but we do.’”

“It will be diminished and downgraded, downgraded, downgraded,” Kerr added. “We say Florence will come to nothing and it will be quickly and it will be seen by everyone that goes online, anyone who watches the weather, the weather [reporters] will be forced for forecast it, they will be forced to talk about it. This is why God is doing this, so they will physically see that we, as believers, have authority over the weather.”

Fucking hurricane! How do they work? Miracles! Yes, I am making an Insane Clown Posse reference here because this is too stupid to comprehend! You do know that’s how hurricanes work, right, Kat? They start, they get bigger, then they diminish! That’s not the only thing that Kat is perplexed by how they work, she apparently has no idea how elections work either!

Last weekend, self-proclaimed “prophetess” and “weather warrior” Kat Kerr spoke at Gateway on Mt. Zion church in Colorado, where she likened President Trump to Jesus and explicitly urged the congregation to “vote Republican” in the upcoming midterm elections.

“God has hand-picked the person that he wants there and there is no human being on this earth—there is nothing in the earth, over the earth—nothing that can take those people from that White House,” Kerr declared. “Never in the history of our country has one man caused such an uproar. Never in the history of our nation or even in this world, except Christ, because Christ caused the greatest uproar in his time. He was not liked by the hierarchy, he was hated by the ruling powers, and the devil especially despised him and tried every way he could to get him out of the picture. Does that sound familiar?”

Kerr also asserted that “Trump has given his heart to Jesus Christ” and “has given God a place in the White House,” which is why he cannot be defeated and why Republicans are guaranteed to win the midterm elections.

“Every time they try to do something—this is from heaven—they will lose,” she said. “They’ll lose in the elections, they’ll lose in areas of business, they’ll lose in areas of government, because this is God’s divine time and when he said, right before the election, ‘I’m turning that map red, whether anyone likes it or not, I’m putting my hand on America and I’m going to move across it; when they wake up in the morning, they will find out that map is red.’ Was it red? Well, get ready for the midterm elections. He’s going to turn it red again.”

“So vote Republican,” Kerr commanded. “On November 6, make sure you go vote. There will be angels in every voting booth.”


And this might be my favorite Kat Kerr story. See there have been many a self-proclaimed prophet that claims to have met the almighty, but none can claim what he looks like! But Kat can! In fact she’s got details! Just… I’m done. I can’t even.

Kat Kerr, the self-proclaimed Christian “Prophetess” who once attempted to beat back Hurricane Irma with a scepter, then, after seeing all the damage caused by Irma, blamed everyone else for not following her lead, gave a rather… interesting speech last night.

She was giving an opening speech for the Heaven’s Invitation 2018 conference. When she got to a part about Jesus, she reminded the audience about how big and strong and sexy the Savior is.

… We should be like Him. And act like Him. And it’s not impossible or He would not have said, “Let us give man dominion,” you know? And “let us make man in Our image.” That is what they look like.

They have arms and legs. They have heads. They have bodies. I’m talking about the Trinity and Holy Spirit, who is invisible. He has a body. He’s big. He’s a really big and tall guy. He can be as big as He wants! I’ve seen Him appear as like swirls of color or, like, tornadoes with the flames of fire all on Him. Sometimes, I’ll see Him walk in and there will just be flames outlining His whole person. If Jesus wanted to, He could make Himself big enough to hold this whole Earth in His hand. Or He could be normal-size on the Earth, which is around six foot tall.

And He was very handsome. I noticed that he wasn’t very comely, but that was when He was being beaten and hung on the cross. You know, that no man would want to look up on Him. But normally, He was very strong. He picked up trees. He was a carpenter…

Ah I love that scene! And I really want to think that the sentence “Jesus can be as big as he wants” refers to a certain body part, but that would just make it creepy! That’s Kat Kerr, this week’s this Fucking Gal!

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[font size="8"]Explaining Jokes To Idiots: Louis CK
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Yes it’s the segment where we in the comedy profession explain humor to the people who just don’t quite get humor. And you know who doesn’t get humor? Critics of Louis CK. Yeah we get it – there’s things we shouldn’t joke about. But that’s not going to stop somebody from joking about them, I mean shit, this program wouldn’t exist if that were the case! There’s many things you can say about Louis CK that don’t immediately attack his humor – yes he’s a colossal piece of shit. But the minute you start attacking language and mannerisms, we all lose!

On Christmas Eve, Kevin Spacey made what appeared to be the most tasteless comeback attempt of 2018. In a video he posted on Twitter called "Let Me Be Frank," he gave a weird speech in the character of his also-creepy "House of Cards" character Frank Underwood, about how we "trusted him, even though we knew we shouldn't." He is currently facing charges for indecent assault and battery, which involve allegations about which he has not responded to requests for comment.

As if that was not enough, and with less than 24 hours of 2018 to spare, audio footage of an also-horrendous new set by Louis C.K. was leaked to YouTube. In the space of just a few minutes, he can be heard viciously mocking the survivors of the Parkland high school shooting, as well as trans and non-binary people. The set, reportedly from a performance earlier in December, was swiftly condemned, but presumably also provided some comfort for anyone concerned that #MeToo irrevocably wrecks men's lives.

(In the interests of fairness, I should also mention that Spacey attempted to skip his forthcoming hearing in Nantucket, Massachusetts, and that request was denied on New Year's Eve.)

Yes. Let’s unpack this here a bit. So in the span of two days, you had Kevin Spacey’s unbelievably cringe worthy attempt to make a comeback (ed. note: we won’t encourage that kind of behavior, so we won’t post it, you can find it on Youtube) and then you had Louis CK’s attempt. But really who the fuck has a live phone on when there’s a live performance in front of you???

Like many others, I spent a few grudging minutes listening to the recently leaked recording of comic Louis C.K.’s now iconically controversial stand-up set from an unannounced gig last month in Levittown, N.Y.

It was another of C.K.’s tentative steps back onto the comedy stage after his self- (but mostly Internet-) imposed mini-exile following accusations that he masturbated in front of several non-consenting women. After just a year out of the spotlight, he seemed to be starting from scratch — though it felt more like scraping.

Weeks after the set, recordings started circulating around the Internet, trimmed to showcase some select bit from C.K.’s routine, including tried-and-tired whines against the idea of honoring preferred pronouns for trans people and nasty jabs at survivors of the Parkland school shooting.

“You’re not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot. You didn’t get shot! You pushed some fat kid in the way and now I’ve got to listen to you talking?”

Look I get it, there’s plenty of reasons to dislike Louis CK, how about the fact that he’s a colossal piece of shit? I’m not defending what he did, I’m defending his profession. Here’s the thing in the comedy world too – people make jokes based on what the hot button issues are. And he shouldn’t have gone there, but he did. And now we have to deal with it. And here’s the thing – don’t start talking about what topics a comedian can and cannot discuss, because that’s censorship. And we all lose when that happens.

Comedian Louis C.K., who fell from grace after admitting in November 2017 that he had serially masturbated in front of various women, is back in the news after audio footage of his new material leaked online. The set, performed at a Long Island comedy club called Governor's on December 16, at various points mocks the Parkland kids, takes young people to task for being preoccupied with gender pronouns, and discusses the dick sizes of various ethnic groups.

In other words, the new stuff is pretty much exactly in line with Louis C.K.'s previous material, which was equally dedicated to the slaughter of sacred cows. His 2008 special, Chewed Up, for instance, opened with him using the word "faggot"—he moved onto the c-word and the n-word shortly thereafter—and ended with him joking about masturbating on 9/11.

You might not think this kind of humor is funny, and that's fine. Moreover, you might think Louis C.K., who initiated sexual situations with unwilling women, is a creepy person who has lost the right to joke about uncomfortable subjects. That's also fine. But it would be silly to pretend that Louis C.K. has undergone some sort of change or deliberate pivot. He's just doing his same old shtick.

And I think that Louis CK doesn’t either. By the way comedy isn’t dead, in fact it’s alive and well – which is why you people are at this show! Ah, see how I turned it around there? But like I said the minute you attack the subject matter, we all lose! Just ask Chris Rock.

The 2019 New York Film Critics Circle Awards featured a star-studded roster of memorable surprise presenters, from Kathryn Bigelow to Naomi Watts, Martin Scorsese, Steve Martin, and Ellen Page, but no one earned a more rapturous response than Chris Rock. The comedian took the stage to present fellow comedian and breakout “Eighth Grade” director Bo Burnham with this year’s Best First Film prize, but he ended up stealing the show himself.

Rock started his brief time at the podium with a pointed dig at the current cultural climate for making life extremely difficult for comedians. “If it was five years ago, I could say something really offensive and funny right now,” Rock said, “but I can’t do that anymore, so…heyyyy!” The joke arrived in the wake of controversies involving controversial jokes made by Kevin Hart and Rock’s friend Louis C.K. Hart has gone on record saying he will not host the Oscars after stepping down due to backlash over past jokes containing LGBTQ slurs, while C.K. was the center of backlash after a leaked December comedy set contained jokes about gender pronouns and the Parkland school shooting survivors.

Unsurprisingly, Rock had no problem being funny despite joking he is no longer allowed to crack jokes. The comedian earned big laughs while setting up Burnham’s movie, saying, “There are lot of movies out right now, but the best one about eighth grade is ‘Eighth Grade.’ It’s a touching tribute to the eighth grade! I never thought I would want to relive the eighth grade until I saw this movie. Bo, I could’ve played that dad, I would’ve fucking killed that part. but we’ll deal with that another time.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course by now you know that people are people, and people are dumb. And while we took a break the last couple of weeks for New Year’s, there has really been no shortage of stupid people. I mean come on, if stupid people took a break during the Christmas holiday why would we even need a reason for the internet? I know, right? Thank you sir! But who was stupid while we were away? Well plenty of folks for starters! For instance this is the new year and one of my favorite lists comes out at this time of the year, and it’s Deadspin’s list of things people went to the hospital for that they stuck in certain body parts. Yes, this is most certainly cringe worthy!

Happy new year, one and all. This year, resolve to take better care of your dick and balls; last year you did a really bad job of it.

Last week we examined what Americans got stuck up their butts; now it’s on to the opposite of the butt, the penis. All patient descriptions are taken verbatim from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits:






I want to know more about the boiling hot peas story! Next up we go to Sri Lanka for this story and I don’t know if these people have ever seen Blazing Saddles but maybe they should, I don’t know, check to see if there’s a real person there first before attempting to offer a bribe?
Sri Lankan police have arrested two people who posted a Facebook video showing one of them pretending to give a bribe to a traffic police cutout.

In the footage, a motorcyclist is seen offering money to the life-size figure of an officer with a speed gun in the northern town of Vavuniya.

The man in the video and his friend who filmed it have been released on bail.

They are charged with damaging public property, and humiliating and creating a bad public image of the police.


Really? Creating a bad public image of the police is a crime in Sri Lanka? The police already have a bad public image to begin with, I’m not sure they really need that! OK next up we go to the land down under, Australia for this one. What’s with people and spiders lately? Last year we had that guy who tried to kill spiders with a blowtorch. This year is already one week old and we have a guy yelling at a spider to… die!

Police in Western Australia have confirmed they sent multiple officers to an emergency call that turned out to be a screaming man with a “serious fear” of spiders.

A concerned passerby was walking outside a house in suburban Perth when they heard a toddler screaming and a man repeatedly shouting “Why don’t you die?”

After they called triple zero, officers arrived to find a man “trying to kill a spider”, who apologised for having an extreme fear of the arachnid.

The Wanneroo police Twitter account posted a screenshot of the police log of the incident on Wednesday morning.

“Caller walked past the AA and heard a male screaming out ‘Why don’t you die’ – repeatedly,” the log read. “The toddler inside was screaming … caller doesn’t know them, but has seen them a few times when walking”.

Yeah it was probably like that. Next up, what’s a People Are Dumb without a visit from our good friend Florida Man? Yes, it’s the new year and apparently Florida Man and Florida woman both made resolutions to stay exactly the same. First up, we go Pinellas County where, Florida Man got something unfortunate stuck up the place where the sun don’t shine:

A Florida Man denied ownership of three syringes removed from his rectum during a 4:30 AM strip search at a county jail, according to a criminal complaint.

Cops arrested Wesley Scott, 40, early Friday on an outstanding warrant charging him with drug possession. While being searched in the field, Scott denied having any illegal items concealed on (or in) his body.

But when Scott, seen at right, arrived at the Pinellas County jail and was subjected to a strip search, he “removed three syringes from his rectum and provided them” to a jailer. Scott then claimed that he “found” the syringes and that "they were not his."

Well at least whatever was put up his ass was retired! And I love that he played the “It’s not mine” defense, because that almost never works. Finally this week we have another Florida Man story and a very cringe-worthy news article. You know the people writing the headline for this one couldn’t wait to make the “party pooper” joke.

A Florida teacher is bringing new meaning to the phrase ‘party pooper’.

A Florida substitute teacher accused of spreading human feces on tables and grills at a park where a principal was set to host a birthday party told deputies she was “displeased” with how the principal was handling a professional issue.

News outlets report that a Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office report says Phillippi Shores Elementary School substitute teacher Heather Carpenter told deputies she spread the feces Dec. 1 to disrupt the birthday party Principal Allison Foster had planned for her daughter.

Damage to the park totaled more than $2,300, including grills and tables that had to be replaced. Carpenter, 42, was charged with damaging property and criminal mischief.

The Sarasota Herald-Tribune reports Carpenter didn’t respond to a request for comment Monday.


That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 25: The Department Of The Interior
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It’s time for episode 25 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The Department Of The Interior[/font]

Now we here at Deep State Diaries are beginning to explore the depths of the president’s cabinet and one of those positions is the Secretary Of The Interior. You might remember that position from the movie Idiocracy when President Cammacho appoints Joe (Not Sure) to the position and his goal is to figure out what’s causing a massive dust bowl and leading to why humanity can’t grow crops. So what does the department of the interior do? Well being in charge of our national parks is one thing and it’s a super important position. But of course Trump only appoints the best people to the position and you know who he appointed when he first took office? A guy named Ryan Zinke, who is in some absolutely serious trouble right now.

Ryan Zinke is out as secretary of the interior.

Zinke will be leaving the Trump administration at the end of the year; his successor is expected to be announced next week.

On Saturday morning, President Trump tweeted that Zinke is leaving after serving for almost two years. He said Zinke has accomplished much during his tenure and thanked him for his service.

Zinke's departure comes after a tumultuous two years at the department, marked by mounting allegations of misconduct in office. He also faced the prospect of congressional probes after newly elected Democrats take majority control of the House.

The former Navy SEAL and one-term Montana congressman showed up for his first day at the Interior Department on horseback, promising to model himself after Theodore Roosevelt, the famed conservationist and 26th president.

If you want any further proof that we’re currently living in Idiocracy, look no further than the Department Of The Interior and how well its’ going. I wouldn’t trust these guys in the least to find out what’s going on with dead crops. I wouldn’t even trust them to fix a clogged toilet!

The U.S. Department of Justice is investigating whether President Donald Trump’s former Interior Secretary, Ryan Zinke, lied to Department of Interior investigators in what could be a potential criminal violation, the Washington Post reported on Thursday.

The Post, citing three people familiar with the matter, said the former Cabinet official was the center of two probes by his department’s inspector general: one involving his real estate transactions in Montana and another over his role in a review of a Connecticut casino project proposed by Native American tribes.

Zinke left the administration on Wednesday but had made no public mention of the ethics investigations upon his departure from Interior, which oversees America’s vast public lands. Trump did not give a reason for the departure when he announced it last month.

The people familiar with the matter said Interior investigators had referred the matter to the Department of Justice after coming to believe that Zinke had lied to them about his dealings, according to the Post.

Yeah probably. There was a great Onion article where they said that the Dept of Interior was using mallets to rid our national parks of its’ mole population. Yes, that’s right – whack a mole! I think in this case I’d rather play whack a Trump troll, and in this case it’s Ryan Zinke!

When a government agency wants to attract as little public attention as possible to a new policy, it announces it on a Friday at 4 p.m. Eastern, a time at which many reporters are eyeing the clock in anticipation of happy hour. If the policy is really controversial, the agency will announce it just before a holiday. And if the policy is really, really controversial, the agency won’t even make an announcement, it will simply post it in the Federal Register—ideally between Christmas and New Year’s.

That’s what the Department of Interior (DOI) did on December 28, when it submitted proposed changes to how it will manage public requests under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). Such requests are one of the main tools journalists and advocacy groups use to learn details about government activities, and they can lead to kinds of revelations that ultimately forced Secretary of Interior Ryan Zinke out last month. Though he once said he planned to run “the most transparent Interior” in our lifetime, it was hardly surprising at this point that Zinke, who scribbled an inscrutable final goodbye with a chunky red pen last week, would approve an attempt to undercut Americans’ access to information about the workings of the DOI.

The proposed changes would give the agency almost unlimited discretion to deny FOIA requests. In the Federal Registry notice, the DOI says that in “light of the unprecedented surge in FOIA requests and litigation,” it would now deny “burdensome” or “vague” requests, or those that require “the bureau to locate, review, redact, or arrange for inspection of a vast quantity of material.”

And in case you’re wondering who they got to replace Mr. Zinke, well, you know we said that Trump always has the reputation of hiring the best people. And well, the replacement that he got is almost as bad as Zinke is! Well, almost!

Now that Ryan Zinke has resigned as the head of the Interior Department, his deputy David Bernhardt has begun serving as acting secretary. President Donald Trump said last month he would name a permanent replacement but has yet to do so.

This handover of power at Interior has been striking in its similarity to the change in leadership at the Environmental Protection Agency last year, where an experienced DC insider replaced a high-profile outsider.

Former EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt, who made a name for himself as Oklahoma’s attorney general suing the EPA 14 times before taking office, resigned last July after ethics complaints and investigations into his ostentatious conduct became too much for the White House to bear. He was replaced by his deputy Andrew Wheeler, a former coal lobbyist and Senate staffer who’d previously worked at the EPA. Acting Administrator Wheeler has kept a much lower profile than Pruitt while steadily advancing Trump’s agenda.

Like Wheeler, Bernhardt is a former industry lobbyist and has previously worked at the Interior Department. He’s likely to be at the helm for a while and may even end up as the permanent secretary.

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: C-
How Things Are Going: B
Likely hood To Survive: B+

Overall: B-

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

Next week we’re blasting off into deep space by hanging out with NASA!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Anderson.Paak[/font]

Folks my next guest is one of the best hip hop artists of the last few years, his new album is called “Oxnard” and you can see him on tour in March. Playing his song called “Tints”, give it up for Anderson Paak!

Portland, we love you! This was a great city to start the season, we are off to Seattle next! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: McMenamin’s Baghdad Theater, Portland Oregon
Special Thanks To: McMenamin’s Group
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Cascade Church Band, Portland, OR
Images: All images copyright belongs to respective copyright holders.
Videos: All videos copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Articles: All article content copyright belongs to respective copyright holders
Writing: Top 10 Writing Department
Graphics: Top 10 Graphics Department
Research: Top 10 Research Department
Lighting & Stage Props: Top 10 Lighting Department
Legal: Top 10 Legal Department
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HR: Top 10 Human Resources Department
Initech’s Wardrobe Provided By: JAB Inc.
Wheel Of Corruption By: Studio 1 Stage Props, Burbank, CA
Anderson.Paak Appears Courtesy Of: Aftermath Entertainment
Management: Initech Productions, CCC Management
Follow The Top 10 On Twitter at: @10Idiots
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Hate mail? E-mail The Top 10 at: Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com

Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Wed Jan 9, 2019, 06:01 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete 6th Season

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete Sixth Season

Season 5: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210720590
Season 4: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210083764
Season 3: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100210008235
Season 2: https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029078791
Season 1: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1016169212

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Can you believe that it's already our sixth season? And that this December will mark our 4th anniversary since the Idiots began? We started back in a much more innocent time before the grand exalted leader Trump took over but now we're sticking through the long haul! As is tradition this guide will serve as a handy way to bookmark many of your favorite segments - all of which will be back including a few new ones. If you're unsure of what all of these recurring segments are, the Top 10 Conservative Idiots Wiki will serve as a handy guide to them all. So what can you expect for our sixth season which will take us through Memorial Day of 2019? Well for one thing it's the return of our famous Stupidest State contest! Yes, the contest where we put 16 states from four different contest in a quest for superiority and stupidity is back! Who will take the crown this year and join Texas and Florida? It could be anyone's game! Plus there's tons of new content that we will have in store for you as the year goes on! And could this be the year of Trump's demise? And will the 119th Congress hand him his ass? Only one way to find out! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Edition #6-1: Game Of Groans Edition (1/9/19)

Live from Portland! We catch up on stuff we missed during the long Christmas break including Trump's insane Game Of Thrones poster and him being all alone in the White House during his temper tantrum over the border wall. We also delve deep into what's causing the Trump led shut down of the government and who is affected by it and it's a lot crazier than you would thihk! We also discuss the latest happenings on Trump's insane wall idea and why he won't let that go. We have a new edition of "What's Up With Brazil?" as they begin a new era of fascism and oppression as the Trump of the tropics, Jair Bolsonaro, is sworn in as the country's new president. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at the world of food recalls and it will make you think twice before asking "hey, are you gonna eat that?". And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is tanned, rested and back from vacation and he is ready to regale you with some insane predictions for the new year! We also have a new installment of "This Fucking Guy" in which we profile ultra far right fundamentalist pundit and self proclaimed "weather prophetess" Kat Kerr. We have a new edition of "Explaining Jokes To Idiots" where we talk about why you shouldn't censor the cringe-worthy subject matter that Louis CK was talking about, but there's plenty of other reasons why he's a colossal POS. And in People Are Dumb, there's plenty of stories of stupid people including horrifying and stupid ways people got sent to the ER, an Australian man yelling at a spider, and a couple of insane Florida Man stories. And the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to Trump loving conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, takes a look at the Department Of The Interior!
Live Musical Guest: Anderson.Paak

Edition #6-2: House Of Carbs Edition (1/16/19)

Live from Seattle! After winning the BCS National Championship, the Clemson Tigers head to the White House to visit Trump, and are greeted with a greasy buffet of Trump's favorite fast food including McDonalds, Burger King, and Wendy's. Trump's insane shut down over his border wall also takes a beating from his opponents and his mortal enemy - the fake news media. We play a game of "Is It Racist?" after Iowa rep Steve King (R-Obviously) wants to know why white supremacy is a bad thing in modern society. In Alt Right news, Laura Loomer proves why walls don't work while attempting to justify why we need a wall, while Gavin McInnes gets rejected by his neighbors and Alex Jones gets his ass handed to him in court. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, it's time for the annual Consumer Electronics Show and we take a look at all the strange new tech coming out of the conference. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to ask the question: "Would JAYSUS build the wall?". We have a new edition of "Beating A Dead Horse" - how long is too long to delete an old tweet if it says something that one might misconstrue as being offensive? We will find out! After yet another controversy, we ask how Logan Paul's Youtube channel is still a thing. Plus we have a new edition of People Are Dumb which includes a woman getting banned from Wal-Mart for a bizarre reason, a pair of Florida Man stories, and a recreation of a scene from the hit Netflix movie "Bird Box". And the next installment of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries explores the outer regions of deep space as we hang out with NASA!
Live Musical Guest: Rufus Du Sol

Edition #6-3: Thursday Night's All Right (For Fighting) Edition (1/23/19)

Live from Las Vegas! It's on!!! Trump takes on Nancy Pelosi and vice versa as the two trade blows over what was supposed to be a secret diplomatic bridge building gap trip, while Trump pulls out of the World Economic Summit in Davos. Back at home, during the Indigenous People's March in Washington DC, some creeps with MAGA hats stir up some shit with a Native American elder. We profile Trump's new attorney general nominee William Barr in a new installment of "This Fucking Guy". Oklahoma's new governor Kevin Stitt gets added to the ever growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. Our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates is going to examine a lot of different parameters about the LA Teacher's Strike - what do they want? Why are they striking? And many more questions. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to present to you some forthcoming signs of the apocalypse and what you can expect when the Christian right delves into that very scary ending of the Bible. Beating A Dead Horse is going to break down the controversial new ad for Gillette razors that has both feminists and masculinists frothing at the mouth crazy. We have a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die" that explores some insane post apocalyptic scenarios and the Christian right's never-ending love of that scary last chapter of the Bible. And our first "I Need A Drink" of 2019 is going to examine why the government shutdown is having a brutal effect on America's craft beer industry. And the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to examine who handles our nation's economic prowess as we check out The Fed!
Live Musical Guest: The Claypool Lennon Delirium

Edition #6-4: Wheel Of Corruption: The Crimes Of Grindlewald Edition (1/30/19)

Live from Salt Lake City! After yet *ANOTHER* vote denying the reopening of the government, Mitch McConnell is yet again nowhere to be found, so we're going to play a game of "Where In The World Is Mitch McConnell?". Plus the return of our favorite new segment NO! - were the MAGA hat wearing kids who bullied Native American war veteran Nathan Phillips victims of the violent leftist media? Easy answer - NO! Meanwhile in Trumpland, Trump's extremely cruel transgender military ban is taking effect and its' going to be long lasting and extremely cruel. We add West Virginia senator Joe Manchin to the growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, after the LA Rams controversy, we're going to take a look at officiating in professional sports. In our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is very troubled by the current state of the Doomsday Clock and how it's not changing at all. We have a new segment "What's Up With France?" because things there are very troubling and we will get to the bottom of it. After yet another controversy, we ask: "The Laura Ingraham Show: How Is This Still A Thing?". We also have a new edition of "People Are Dumb" which includes a Kentucky woman's horrible way to teach her son a lesson, a guy going on a rampage over his action figures, a late night Waffle House incident, a guy getting a sexual favor while driving, and a serial stabber changing his name to something completely ridiculous. And the next edition of Deep State Diaries is going to take a look at the Bureau Of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms!
Live Musical Guest: Greta Van Fleet

Edition #6-5: Curb Your Kasich Edition (2/6/19)

Live from Podfest LA! Trump shows off his sensitive side by mercilessly mocking climate change and the extreme weather conditions affecting Minnesota, Michigan, and Wisconsin. In Wisconsin, Chinese manufacturing behemoth Foxconn announces they are opening their new plant... sort of. Are American workers involved? Maybe. Meanwhile, new light has been shed on the character of former Ohio governor and presidential candidate John Kasich after he got bumped from a flight and he seems to be doing his best Larry David imitation about flying among the commoners in coach class. The horror!!! We play a game of "Is It Racist?" starring Virginia's new governor and guy digging his own political grave, Ralph Northram. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at the latest way your phone is attempting to spy on you, this time through Apple's Facetime app. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is dumbfounded that his fellow zealots are attempting to paint supporters of the Dark One as the spawn of Satan. Well, we are, but that's beside the point! "Beating A Dead Horse" explains why your boycott against Starbucks won't work after Howard Schultz announces that he's running as an independent. That's always a guaranteed path to the presidency! After another Trump twitter typo, we ask how Trump's Twitter Typos are still a thing. We have a new installment of "I Need A Drink" and we're going to get drunk and find out the answer to why ladies think serial killers like Ted Bundy are hot thanks to a pair of Netflix produced movies. And the next installment of our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, is going to hang out with the Drug Enforcement Agency!
Live Musical Guest: Weezer

Edition #6-6: A Tale Of Two Crowd Sizes - Valentine's Day Special! (2/13/19)

Live from Oxnard! AMI, the parent company of sleazy supermarket tabloid the National Enquirer, is involved in a bizarre blackmail scheme involving Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. And to make things worse, Trump may or may not be involved himself. We recap Trump's 2nd State Of The Union which was summed up perfectly by one of his guests of honor. Trump went to El Paso to fuel right wing hysteria over the border while Beto O'Rourke's rally drew over twice as many people. We delve into more of the latest involving the scandal with Virginia governor Ralph Northam, and people, it's not good. Although it's revealing more about Virginia than it is about Gov. Northam! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we take a look at the controversial DNA testing company 23 & Me and what you can do if your genetic testing results weren't what you expected. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive on why the Dark One's proposals for more Bible based classes could potentially backfire on him. In our latest edition of "NO!", we scold Delta Airlines and Coke for an exceptionally creepy promotion involving airplane napkins. We also have a new segment of We play a game of "Is It Racist?" and after a professor's claims that Mary Poppins is racist, is it really? We also have a new installment of People Are Dumb, because of course people are dumb. And the latest edition of our ongoing series Deep State Diaries is going to take a look at the department of Housing and Urban Development, or the HUD!
Live Musical Guest: Muse

Edition #6-7: In Soviet America, Wall Does You! Edition (2/20/19)

Live from the Inland Empire! Donald Trump is so determined to get his precious wall that he literally declares himself above the law and declares a national emergency to bypass Congress, which he follows up with a trip to Mar-A-Shithole. We delve into the controversial Green New Deal proposed by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and why it's making conservative heads explode. Meanwhile, we were all horrified by the MAGA attack on Empire star Jussie Smollet, but it turns out he's got some 'splainin to do! So we are going to bring back the Top 10 Mystery Machine to get to the bottom of exactly what happened outside that Chicago Subway. We have a new installment of "We're All Gonna Die" and while California has been busy preparing for a colossal earthquake, we haven't exactly been preparing for a colossal storm that could possibly kill us all. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to find out why California's plan to bring high speed rail between San Francisco to Los Angeles was quite the literal train wreck. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is becoming increasingly alarmed at his fellow zealots over the fact that they actually want 4 more years of this hell. And in the latest "Beating A Dead Horse" - conservatives, you're lame! Be lame! Don't attempt to be cool or drag politics into your lameness, own it! We profile Christian conspiracy theorist Jesse Lee Peterson in a new installment of "This Fucking Guy". We also have a new People Are Dumb which includes a guy getting hog tied and taken for $10K, two brothers fighting while visiting Nana in the hospital, a Virginia man watching porn on his garage door, and a Hong Kong factory mistaking a grenade for a potato. And the next to last installment of Deep State Diaries is going to talk about some actual disasters (presidential disasters not withstanding) as we hang out with FEMA!
Live Musical Guest: Hozier

Edition #6-8: The Thing From Your Anus Edition (2/27/19)

Live from Hollywood! The Trump loving owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft, has been arrested along with hundreds involved in connection with a Florida sex ring. We delve into the latest MAGA terrorist - this time a Coast Guard employee whose list looked a lot like Trump's enemies. list. Hmm. The latest in the Jussie Smollet case is certifiably insane. Bernie Sanders and a whole slew of new presidential candidates announce their candidacies and we're going to play a game of presidential candidate Bingo! The latest on the Jussie Smollet investigation is yielding one new plot twist after another and we will help break it all down for you. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, there's been an alarming rise in hate crimes and hate groups in the last 2 years alone and we will help get to the bottom of what's going on. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", so the Trump administration is doing the right thing and moving to help decriminalize homosexuality, but with Ralph Drollinger and Paula White as his spiritual advisors, our resident pastor suspects something foul is afoot, and he will help you play the Christian right blame game. In "Beating A Dead Horse", Captain Marvel is getting rave reviews, but online trolls are painting a completely different picture, and yeah, fuck those guys! After another interview that produces another batshit crazy quote from Roseanne Barr, we ask "Interviewing Roseanne: How is this still a thing?". We have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" in which we get drunk and we're going to talk about an unclaimed lottery ticket in South Carolina that could be worth BILLIONS. And our series that explores the outer regions of the US government and explains how it works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries, has come to an end. But not before we take one last look at the US State Department!
Live Musical Guest: Cypress Hill

Edition #6-9: The Art Of The Squeal II: Squeal Harder Edition (3/6/19)

Live From Hollywood! We detail all the insanity from Trump's epic 2 hour unhinged rant at the Conservative Political Action Conference, at which there was a whole lot of crazy in one room. Trump goes to Hanoi to meet glorious dictator Kim Jong Un, and attempts to Art Of The Deal North Korea's nuclear weapons, but it is quite the epic fail as Trump leaves with his tail between his legs. Michael Cohen squeals on Trump again, and surprisingly it's not the craziest thing that has happened this week. Meanwhile, Alex Jones appears on the Joe Rogan podcast and we really wonder what the two of them are smoking, and we suspect that it must be some good covfefe. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, California does everything better, including natural disasters, and we take a look at a pair of cities that are literally only accessible by boat in "The Flooded City". And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor attempts to find out what's up with a new Christian right movie called "Unplanned" which received a controversial R-rating, meaning that the people the movie is targeting (read: easily impressionable young women) can't see it. Also, we delve into the psyche behind Mike Lindell in a new "This Fucking Guy". We take a look at the latest developments in Paris with the Yellow Jacket Protests in a new segment "What's Up With France?". We also have a new People Are Dumb, which includes a pair of stories involving gorilla suits, a Florida Man drug story, a man buying Girl Scout cookies and is arrested for drugs, and a brewery's bizarre combo of beer and breakfast cereal. Plus it's that time - time to start the 3rd annual Stupidest State contest, and we will be live from the Fox Theater in Riverside with our Selection Sunday, where we will present to you all the states, stats, odds and info that you need to fill out your bracket! Let the games begin!
Live Musical Guest: The Fever 333

Edition #6-10: Wheel Of Corruption: Into The Spider-verse Edition (3/13/19)

Live from Hollywood! After Robert Kraft got busted as being a part of a super secret underground pedophile ring, it turns out that Trump sycophant Jeffrey Epstein and other cohorts might be involved as well! Trump's disaster surveying trip to Alabama was in fact a disaster itself, and we will also tell you how he told FEMA to give special favors to states that voted for him vs ones that didn't. Trump also referred to Apple CEO Tim Cook as "Tim Apple", lied that he didn't do it, then doubled down on his first lie. It's lie-ception. We talk about how Michael Jackson and R. Kelly face the possibility of getting cancelled in the wake of the "Leaving Neverland" and "Surviving R. Kelly" documentaries. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at an epic Go Fund Me scam that landed the perpetrators in jail and why you should always exercise caution before donating. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is stunned that the Dark One was seen signing copies of the "Good Book" during his disaster surveying trip to Alabama. In "Beating A Dead Horse" - Stormy Daniels is the latest celebrity who is taking a jab at the stand up comedy industry, but can she pull it off? I'll bet she can, *wink wink*! We have a new edition of "How Is This Still A Thing" in which we ask "Jared Kushner's Security Clearance: How Is This Still A Thing?". We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink" - baseball legend Jose Canseco has gone off the rails in response to the news that J. Lo and Alex Rodriguez got engaged, and well, he's a home run short of a cycle. And finally it's finally here! Stupidest State Round 1 Week 1 is underway - we are live from Phoenix and we have Kentucky going up against Maine in the Batshit conference, while newcomer Idaho brings their big guns to the dance against Oregon! The winner moves on, the loser goes home!
Live Musical Guest: Rival Sons

Edition #6-11: You Commit 16 Crimes, Whaddya Get? Edition (3/20/19)

Live from Atlanta! Paul Manafort is charged with 16 different felonies relating to conspiring to commit treason against the United States - meaning that Trump can't pardon him. Meanwhile, there's a gigantic bribery scandal involving America's universities and the wealthy elite of this country - and many politicians and celebrities are involved. After not one, but two crashes involving the Boeing 737-Max 8, the US finally grounds the planes amid controversy, but who's responsible? Trump's fragile ego begins attacking the way he's being mocked mercilessly and deservedly by late night talk shows, and Trump not only cares, he takes it personally. We ask "What's Up With Brexit?" as the latest developments in the UK leaving the EU is still a colossal clusterfuck that may never get fully resolved. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to discuss legalized pot and what could happen if states start running legalized marijuana stores. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to rail on the Catholic Church's recent criticism of SNL comedian Pete Davidson over his comparison of the church to the R. Kelly Scandal. Really? And in a new edition of "NO!!!", really people? Your restaurant bathroom experience must now be documented on Instagram? Really? STOP IT!!! We also have a new edition of People Are Dumb, because of course people are dumb. And we continue our quest to find the Stupidest State and it's Round 1 Week 2, and we're live from Las Vegas with the action! It's a rematch from last year as Wisconsin goes for broke against Nevada in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, while Indiana challenges Mississippi to which state has a bigger Bible than the other guy!
Live Musical Guest: The Struts

Edition #6-12: screw u, next Edition (3/27/19)

Live from Tampa! Trump does a reverse of Ariana Grande and tells his opponents "screw u, next", getting into an ugly fight with the family of late Senator John McCain and the husband of his top advisor Kellyanne Conway. Trump also announces he will impose strict penalties on universities who don't comply with his new rules regarding free speech (read: safe spaces for Nazis and white supremacists). Meanwhile, on the Twittersphere, in a bizarre twist of events, Devin Nunes sues the social media site for an insane $250 million dollars over an account called @DevinsCow, which not surprising, has more followers than he does! On the hate radio sphere, Rush Limbaugh along with others, are channeling their inner Alex Jones by suggesting that the terrible tragedy in Christchurch is a false flag. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, after the LA Angels' Mike Trout signed the largest contract in sports history, we're going to take a look at some other insane contracts. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is completely dumbfounded that his fellow religious zealots are actively praying for the most brutal dictators in the world after Brazil's Bolsonaro visits the Dark One. In "Beating A Dead Horse", right wing wingnuts are upping their calls for a second Civil War after many detractors are telling both sides to remain civil. Think of it like the guy at the end of Animal House yelling "ALL IS WELL!!!!". We find out what's up with Brexit as the deadline nears and there's a lot of shit going down and mud being flung between both sides. We have a special edition of People Are Dumb, and after the Florida Man challenge broke on Twitter this week, we are going to have a special All Florida Man edition of "People Are Dumb". And finally our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues and this week we're live at the home of the Utah Jazz, the Navint Smart Home Arena in Salt Lake City, Utah, for the 3rd round action! Michigan goes for broke against Alaska, while conference favorites Florida and Montana duke it out over who has the big guns!
Live Musical Guest: The Dirty Heads

Edition #6-13: Donald Trump Live From Grand Rapids Edition (4/3/19)

Live from Washington, DC! We delve into the latest insanity from Trump's Great Lakes rally in which he promises one thing and says another about the Great Lakes Restoration Act, while making some absolutely absurd claims about wind (but we all know that he's full of hot air). We delve into the absolutely bizarre scandal involving Michael Avenatti, various celebrity attorneys and Nike, and it is, well, shall we say, a category 5 shit storm. Now that the dust has settled from the Trump admin ending the Mueller probe, we pull an inquiry as to whether or not people have had an absolute ass full in the news judging by TV ratings. We add Kentucky Senator Rand Paul to the ever-growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected. In gun nut news, the NRA gets caught shopping for conspiracy theorists, while Alex Jones makes some absurd claims following the death of a Sandy Hook victim. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, a piece by the Jim Jefferies Show exposed that Australia is becoming the latest country to join the global rise of white nationalism, we are going to find out what that's like in "Hate Down Under". And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" did Liberty University get a contract with the Pentagon to supply jet fuel to the military? Just... WTF! Our resident pastor explores this and a bizarre scandal at Notre Dame involving dress codes at mass. We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" in which we're going to explain to Texas conservatives why you really shouldn't get that bent out of shape over Chik-Fil-A being banned from the San Antonio Airport. Really, it's airport food. We also have a new edition of "I Need A Drink", and really? Slicing bagels horizontally is somehow revolutionary? We will get schvitzed and slice some bagels! Don't try this at home. And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues with Round 1 Week 4! We're live in Eugene at the home of the Oregon Ducks, the Matthew Knight Arena, for all the 4th week action! It's a battle of the Batshit as Georgia fights Texas to play Kentucky in the conference championship, while Alabama and Oklahoma duke it out for the most Jesus loving state ever!
Live Musical Guest: AFI

Edition #6-14: Collusion Delusion, What's Your Confusion? Edition (4/10/19)

Live from New York City! We take a look at the latest fallout from the Mueller Probe, and if Mueller doesn't get Trump for Russian collusion, then possible tax fraud is the next way he could go! Also, what's Trump's beef with wind power? It seems that the answer could quite literally be blowing in the wind. And after a whole slew of celebrities and professional golfers begins speaking out, it becomes clear that he not only cheats at golf, but he could quite literally be the world's worst cheat at golf, that would make even Auric Goldfinger blush. We find out what is going on with people being openly racist in public after a whole slew of incidents across the country are happening, and they all paint a very similar picture of what is going on. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to the races! What is going on at Santa Anita Race Track in Arcadia, California? It seems that horses are dying during races and they don't know what is causing it, and our crack investigative team will get down to it. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to find out what's fueling the future of religion? Is it demons? Is it teaching what Jesus actually taught his disciples? Is it lots and lots of boning? We will find out! We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - OK, so former VP Joe Biden might have been a bit of a creeper, but compared to the worst of humanity, and that includes our current president, on the creeper scale, he's really about a 1 out of 10, so why is he a target? Could have something to do with next year, or maybe not. We profile the guy who Trump picked to head the Federal Reserve, Herman Cain, in a new edition of "This Fucking Guy". We also have a new edition of our favorite segment - People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues as the Elite 8 has been set! It's Round 2 Week 1 and we're live in Reno for all the second round action! It's the Gun Nut Conference championship. Florida. Oregon. One of these two states will advance to the Final Four, the other goes home!
Live Musical Guest: Simple Creatures


Top 10 Best Of #8: Spring Break (4/17/19)

Best Of! The Top 10 announces our massive college road show for season 7 which includes a huge country wide tour of some of America's finest higher learning institutions. From Idiots #6-2, we take a look at what happened when Trump invited the Clemson Tigers to the White House and treated them to a greasy buffet of *HIS* favorite fast food stuffs. From Idiots #6-7, the proposed Green New Deal from freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is causing conservative heads to explode, mainly because they didn't read it and are making stuff up. From Idiots #6-5, we take a look at that time when John Kasich got bumped from a flight and began channeling his inner Larry David. From Idiots #6-1, the "Trump Of The Tropics", Brazil's Jair Bolsonaro, is sworn in and Brazil begins their new national nightmare as they become the latest country to openly embrace fascism and toxic nationalism. From Idiots #6-6, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, takes a look at the DNA collecting service 23 & Me and the glaring errors that accompany the site in a piece called "DIY DNA". From Idiots #6-3, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor asks the question "Would you kill baby Hitler?". The answer might surprise you! From Idiots #6-10, "Beating A Dead Horse" discusses the possibilities for a stand-up career for Trump's favorite porn star Stormy Daniels, and actual comedians aren't having any of it. From Idiots #6-8, we have an edition of "How Is This Still A Thing", and people you knew that asking Roseanne Barr for her opinion on anything will result in a terrible answer, so why did you do it? How is interviewing her still a thing? From Idiots #11, we have a special edition of "People Are Dumb" and after the Florida Man challenge broke that week, we decided to dedicate all of our People Are Dumb segment to all insane Florida Man stories. Finally from Idiots #6-8, we say goodbye to our ongoing series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries. But not before we take one last look at one of America's oldest institutions, the US State Department!
Live Musical Guest: Cypress Hill

Edition #6-15: Wheel Of Corruption: The Second Part Edition (4/24/18)

Live from the Colorado Podcast Festival in Denver! It was a sad day as a possible accident destroys France's beloved Notre Dame cathedral, but not before Trump says something stupid and insensitive! The <redacted> Mueller report gets released and we will go through some of the juicier details. Trump calls on Boeing to rebrand their ill-fated 737 Max 8 plane and we will go over how stupid and insane the idea is. And Trump claims that there's good cops in the latest developments in the Steele Dossier, but are there really? Or are there no cops at all? Meanwhile, in Alabama, just when you thought it was safe to go back to the malls and cheerleading practices, he's back ladies! Yes, Roy Moore is taking another round of "Thank you sir may I have another" and running against Doug Jones for reelection in Moore V Jones II: The Slamma In Alabama! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, the new stadium set to open for the Los Angeles Rams is causing problems for some longtime residents of the city of Inglewood, and we will find out what's up with that. Plus in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", one of Liberty University's standout crazy people, Firefighter Prophet Mark Taylor, is back at it with some insane predictions and our resident pastor is going to go through all of them! We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - so Bernie Sanders made a ton of money off of his book deal, but does that mean that he's not allowed to talk trash about the upper 1% anymore? No! Plus we also have an all new I Need A Drink - is the Drake Curse a thing? It turns out that the rapper may cause nearly every single sports team he roots for to lose - what's up with that?! And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues with Round 2 Week 2! It's a Family Values faceoff as longtime rivals Mississippi will challenge conference favorite Alabama for the Bible Belt crown! We're live in Sacramento for all the action action action!
Live Musical Guest: Dream Theater

Edition #6-16: The Gathering Of The Deplorables Edition (5/1/19)

Live from San Diego! One of America's most notorious institutions - the National Rifle Association - is in some extremely hot water over campaign finance rules. Are they a gun lobby or a hostile intelligence agency? Twitter explains why it won't go after neo Nazis and white supremacists the way it goes after ISIS for a completely not at all shocking and surprising reason.Trump held one of his unhinged MAGA rallies in Wisconsin, where he made some absolutely absurd and ridiculous claims, but his claims about infanticide are probably one of the most insane he's made to date. We play a new game of "Is It Racist?" - so the Philadelphia Flyers took down the statue of singer songwriter Kate Smith after some old songs of hers recently resurfaced that could, well, be misconstrued as being racist. But we will let you be the judge! In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, we're going to find out what exactly happened between the time when Otto Warmbier's body left North Korea and he arrived in the United States, it's very alarming what Trump did exactly. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10, one of the hottest candidates in the 2020 race is Pete Buttigieg, but the Christian right isn't exactly opening up to the fact that he's openly gay and married, so our resident pastor is going to find out what's up with that. We also have a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - HEY! US GOVERNMENT! Recognize the Armenian Genocide already! Oh wait, considering where things are going right now, with the fact that we have actual Nazis on US soil, maybe Trump shouldn't think about doing that just yet. We also have a new edition of "NO!". It turns out that Operation Varsity Blues that took down Lori Laughlin may have other celebrities in store, and she might be doing some hard time for this. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! This week it's the Batshit Conference championship. Kentucky. Georgia. One of these two states will be crowned the kings of guano, and we will be live in Ontario for all the action!
Live musical guest: Periphery

Edition #6-17: The C Word Minus The C Edition (5/8/19)

Live From Missoula, Montana! Facebook decides to forgo the GOP's much overused theory of "shadow banning" and instead decides to do the real thing and ban far right extremists from its' platform including Alex Jones and Milo Yiannopolous. In a new edition of the Trumper Games, Tribute Rosenstein from the 5th District effectively resigned one step ahead of the president firing his ass! Is Bill Barr America's lawyer or is he just Trump's fixer? The latest testimony is the sign that this nation is certifiably insane and we will break it down. Trump's stunningly stupid take on the Kentucky Derby gives us another bizarre misspelled typo and a clear indication that he doesn't really know or care how the rules work. In our weekly investigative piece "Top 10 Investigates", we take a look at an alarming rise of sexual assaults in the military, and excessive alcohol and drug consumption may have something to do with it, but like all bad things, it's never the right time to talk about it. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit" - during the National Day Of Prayer - one of the favorite claims of the Christian right is to say that it's OK for Americans to talk about God and religion again, but was it ever NOT OK? Our resident pastor will examine this claim and allow you to draw your own conclusions. We also have a new edition of "We're All Gonna Die" - and we couldn't love this story more. Scientology's Sea Org cruise vessel is ready to set sail off St. Lucia, but considering the high number of anti vaccination crusaders in the religion, they can't go because they are quarantined because of a measels outbreak! We're all gonna die! We also play a game of "Is It Racist?". The San Francisco 49ers new quarterback Nick Bosa is a friend of Trump, but he scrubbed all of his racist and sexist MAGA tweets for a shockingly stupid and not all surprising reason. We also have a new "I Need A Drink" and this time we're going to down some brews and talk about how Woodstock 50 was an even bigger fail than the Fyre Festival! And our quest to find the Stupidest State 2019 continues! It's a battle to see who can go for broke as Michigan takes on Wisconsin in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference championship! We're live in San Diego for all the action!
Live Musical Guest: X Ambassadors

Edition #6-18: How To Lose A Billion In 10 Days Edition (5/15/19)

Live from Hollywood! The New York Times (fake news!!!) drops a real bombshell about Trump's back tax returns that reveals a real secret about our billionaire president: his ass is broke! We recap Trump's latest insane word salad from Panama City and even the crowd wasn't buying his latest MAGA bullshit. In what seems like a plot from the movie "Hot Fuzz" or "John Wick" come to life, a home in Bel Air, California was caught stockpiling thousands of weapons. On the 1st year anniversary of the launch of Melania Trump's "Be Best" campaign, we take a look at how effective it's been. Easy answer: Not really. In our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, in a bizarre twist on measles outbreaks all over the country, Anti Vaxxers are latching onto an episode of the Brady Bunch from 1969 that proves that hey, measles can be fun! Really? And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to find out why Coach Dave and a group of other crazy religious zealots are going to Hillary Clinton's home in Chappequa, New York, because, reasons. We have a new edition of "How Is This Still A Thing" - banks like Chase are using their social media platforms to lecture us on spending habits, while their CEOs make hundreds of millions a year, and yeah, how is this still a thing? We also debut a new segment called "This Will Work - FACT!!!" in which we're going to show striking Uber and Lyft drivers how they can get the upper hand on the billion dollar corporations they work for. We also have a new "People Are Dumb", which includes a Florida Man's not at all shocking bumper sticker, a woman with an alligator in her pants, a guy bringing a duffel bag full of piranhas through LAX, and a Mexican guy who literally dug himself into a hole! And this week it's the Stupidest State Final Four! In the Layover League Championship, Georgia takes on Wisconsin for the crown, while in the Flyover League, Florida takes on Alabama for the crown! We're live at the home of the USC Trojans, LA's fabulous Galen Center, for all the action!
Live Musical Guest: Bad Religion

Edition #6-19: Fight For Your Right (To Choose) Edition (5/22/19)

Live from Hollywood! Season Finale! So Alabama went ahead and signed one of the harshest abortion laws in the entire country, drawing attention from the ACLU, while other states like Ohio and Georgia have also passed similar legislation, hoping that SCOTUS will overturn Roe V Wade. We also delve into what's driving the abortion debate and even people like Pat Robertson are calling out Christian extremism on the subject. We introduce you to billionaire media mogul fraudster Conrad Black, who Trump pardoned because he wrote a flattering book about him. Move along, nothing to see here! Meanwhile, the NRA is imploding at the seams and it's over some absolutely ridiculous shit including some extremely reckless spending from former president Wayne La Pierre. In our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates, we're going to take a look at electric vehicles. So the Tesla Model 3, Model S, and Model X are more popular than ever, but where are the trucks? There's been much debate and controversy about the availability of electric trucks, but a couple of start up companies are looking to change that. And in our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor is going to find out - why does the Christian right hate the Equal Rights Amendment? Doesn't the LAWRD say "love thy neighbor"? We will find out! And in a new "Beating A Dead Horse" - sports fans are attempting to combine sports and politics - two things that should *NEVER* be combined under any circumstances, and it's ending very badly for them. What's up with that? We also have a new "How Is This Still A Thing" and after some extremely rocky changes in management and ownership, we're going to find out how conservative campus group TPUSA is still a thing. We also have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! And it's finally time to crown the winner in our 2019 Stupidest State contest! Who will it be? Wisconsin. Alabama. One of these two will be crowned our new Stupidest State! We are live at UCLA's Pauley Pavilion with the match, the champagne celebration and of course One Shining Moment!
Live Musical Guest: Ice Cube

Best Of: All Time Editor's Favorite Picks Edition (5/29/19)

Best Of! Our editors probe all 6 seasons of the Idiots dating back to #1 to post some of their all time favorite entries from all of the editions! From Idiots #4-18, Trump and the religious right, under the scrutiny of the rest of the world, moved the US embassy to Jerusalem to please the end times apocalypse worshippers, only to have their opening ruined by one of the bloodiest days in the city's history. From Idiots #2-20, can anyone really be that shocked that Trump's proverbial Winter White House, Mar-A-Lago, is plagued with some extremely bad reports coming from health and building inspectors? I know I'm not! From Idiots #1-36, when Trump and Pence introduced their campaign logo, they got some extremely terrible and funny reactions from the Twittersphere on bad logo design. From Idiots #3-5, it was revealed that two very different websites - Alex Jones' Infowars and Gwenyth Paltrow's GOOP really aren't that different when you peruse both websites' merchandise stores. In fact they're almost one in the same. From Idiots #5-5 - our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates, is micro cheating a thing? We discuss all the various and extremely tiny ways that your partner can accuse you of cheating - and vice versa! From Idiots #6-3, one of our favorite Holy Shit segments asks the question "Would You Kill Baby Hitler?" (spoiler alert! Probably). From Idiots #5-1, our segment Explaining Jokes To Idiots, schools low class punk rock band NOFX on why you shouldn't joke about the worst mass shooting in US history - while you are visiting the city that it was in! From Idiots #4-6, People Are Dumb takes a look at what happens when a member of the Flat Earth Society takes his passion just a little too far, with some not at all shocking and completely hilarious results. And finally from Idiots #3-15, our exhaustive world tour took us home to the US to visit the east coast as we explored New York City (NEW YORK CITY????).
Musical Guest: 30 Seconds To Mars

Best Of: All Time Fan Favorite Picks Edition (6/5/19)

Best Of! This time around, we asked you, the fans for your submissions of your favorite all time Top 10 entries, and here's what you came up with! From Idiots #1-15, recall that time that Ted Nugent wrote an Op Ed piece that was so insane that the NRA had to actually apologize for it, and they apologize for nothing! From Idiots #2-4, Trump's first diplomatic effort attempted to bridge the gap between China and Taiwan only to have it fail on him big time. From Idiots #2-13, we think we have figured out the origin story of why Trump fans boycott any product that so much as looks at them funny. From Idiots #4-6, conservatives just *HAVE* to ruin just about anything they touch, and their super creepy reactions to the official White House portrait of Barack Obama only prove our points. From Idiots #5-7, Top 10 Investigates takes a look at a movement within a movement, in which the sexless losers known as "Incels" get unnecessary plastic surgery and transform themselves into something called "Looksmaxxers". From Idiots #4-9, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in "Holy Shit", our resident pastor takes a look at a church where you can literally marry your gun. From Idiots #6-6, do we really need Delta Airlines playing matchmaker for us through the use of airplane cocktail napkins? NO!!!! From Idiots #3-16, our first "Beating A Dead Horse" feature explores why Trump fans really hate the NFL kneeling protests and why they just won't let it go. From Idiots #6-5, in "I Need A Drink", we're going to get drunk and find out why women think serial killers are hot, thanks to a pair of Netflix documentaries about Ted Bundy. And from Idiots #5-23, when we went to England, we visited England's famous international intelligence unit M:I-6 for a special British edition of our series that explains how government works to conspiracy theorists, Deep State Diaries.
Musical Guest: Slash Feat. Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators
Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Fri Jan 4, 2019, 12:43 PM (1 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #7: New Year's Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #7: New Year’s Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh, hello! Yeah we’re just tidying up the set here for our big return on January 9th. Can’t believe that the new year is already here huh? And man glad to say goodbye to 2018 and ring in the new year with us! So this year we’ve got some big things planned for the Top 10 including our big Texas Road Trip! Plus season 7 is going to take us through some of this country’s biggest learning institutions. That’s right – we are going to college! So while we haven’t announced tour dates yet – that will be revealed in a future Best Of, do we go to Syracuse or Notre Dame or Ohio State or San Diego State or UCLA and everywhere in between! So the tour dates will be announced in the next Best Of edition, but before that we’ve got the details of what we’ve got planned for the start of Season 7 and that is that we’re going on a road trip through Texas! Yes, our quest to find out if liberals exist in the Lone Star State is going to be epic! So here is the itinerary for that:

6/12/19 – El Paso, Texas – the Comic Strip
6/19/19 – San Antonio, Texas – LOL Comedy Club
6/26/19 – Austin, Texas – Cap City Comedy Club
7/10/19 – Houston, Texas – Houston Improv
7/17/19 – Fort Worth, Texas – Dallas Improv

So there you have it, that’s what we’ve got planned in store. But now we’re getting ready for heading out on the road to new places across this great country of ours. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first we have to play the intro from Saturday Night Live where John Goodman played Rex Tillerson and had one of my favorite SNL lines of the year:


Where do we begin with the Best Of? Well to start with from Idiots #5-20 another tribute eliminated from Trump’s cabinet means another installment of the Trumper Games (1)! This time it’s Tribute Sessions who got eliminated by the President himself! In the second slot from Idiots #5-9, we lost a living legend when music superstar Aretha Franklin passed away, and conservatives (2) attempted to pay their respects to her, but failed big time! In the third slot, from Idiots #5-16, while Alex Jones (3) has lost literally everything thanks to his harassment of the Parkland students, there’s someone keeping Infowars afloat, but who? In the fourth slot, from Idiots #5-10, after *ANOTHER* major mass shooting – this time at a video game tournament in Florida, the NRA (4) has come up with some just ridiculously asinine solutions to stop mass shootings which include blaming everything but the guns. At number 5, from Idiots #5-8, our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) is going to take a look at a really disturbing trend in the funeral industry called “extreme embalming” and yeah, it’s way creepier than it sounds! For the sixth slot is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week our resident pastor is going to do a deep dive in to Portland’s alt right Christian fight club hate group known as “Patriot Prayer”. For the 7th slot, we have a first ever Idiots lost entry! It was supposed to be in our season finale but got cut for “Explaining Jokes To Idiots”, so we’re presenting it to you here! Beating a Dead Horse (7) asks the question “Is it OK to have sex with robots?” (spoiler alert: no!). In the 8th slot, from Idiots #5-13, with Youtube cracking down on hate content, we’re going to ask Red Ice: How Is This Still A Thing?. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot, from Idiots #5-18 is one of our favorite segments – People Are Dumb (9) which includes among other things, a Florida man attempting to kill spiders with a blowtorch and burning his house down! And finally for the last spot, from Idiots #5-12, our series that explains how government works to your Trump loving conspiracy theorist friends and relatives, Deep State Diaries, is going to hang out with the US Navy! Plus we’ve also got that time when Gorillaz stopped by the show! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Jeff Sessions
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From: Idiots #5-20

Happy Trumper Games! Hey everyone! I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooh, it has been way too long, my pretties! Of course every day in this administration seems like it’s an eternity doesn’t it? Oh, strap in because if you thought the first two years were completely insane, wait until you see the next two! For the president has declared himself to be judge, jury and executioner. The last time we were here, Tribute Hayley from the 5th district has resigned. This week, the President simply removed Tribute Sessions from the 2nd district. You know, don’t ask me how the districts work because even I don’t know. Well, anyway here is the latest!

Attorney General Jeff Sessions was pushed out Wednesday as the country’s chief law enforcement officer after enduring more than a year of blistering and personal attacks from President Donald Trump over his recusal from the Russia investigation.

Sessions told the president in a one-page letter that he was submitting his resignation “at your request.”

Trump announced in a tweet that he was naming Sessions’ chief of staff Matthew Whitaker, a former United States attorney from Iowa, as acting attorney general. Whitaker has criticized special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into potential coordination between the president’s Republican campaign and Russia.

The resignation was the culmination of a toxic relationship that frayed just weeks into the attorney general’s tumultuous tenure, when he stepped aside from the Mueller investigation.

Oh that’s fierce, honey! Work it! And damn it, Charlie! Why must you bring me the cheap champagne? I want the good stuff! What? Management says that we can’t afford the good stuff? Very well then! But this is a huge upset for the Trumper Games. Tribute Sessions was very heavily favored above the rest, but that doesn’t stop the president from pulling a dick move and forcing Tribute Sessions to resign, because in the Trumper Games, anything can happen at any minute!

President Trump could wait no longer.

On Wednesday — a day after the midterm elections, with several races still too close to call — the president forced the resignation of his attorney general, Jeff Sessions. The New York Times quickly published a 1,300-word story, the first version of which had been written in July … of 2017.

That was after President Trump lashed out at Mr. Sessions in an interview. And for the past 16 months, Peter Baker, the chief White House correspondent, has been updating the story, and waiting.

“Every time something happened in the news that made us wonder if Sessions was about to resign or be fired, we would update it and make sure it was ready to go,” Mr. Baker said.

It was a type of article known in the newsroom as an H.F.O. — “Hold for Orders” — written and edited in anticipation of news that hasn’t happened yet. H.F.O.s are planned for scheduled events, like elections and inaugurations, but also the less predictable, the seemingly possible, and the inevitable. Their execution is essential procedure in daily journalism.

Don’t forget the crazy straw, Charlie! Yes, the president may be an abusive jackass and the textbook definition of a “horrible boss” but that doesn’t stop him from simply thinking that he is above the law and can do whatever he pleases!

The fallout after the midterm elections has begun. After a tumultuous relationship with President Donald Trump, Attorney General Jeff Session has resigned at the president’s request.

“We are pleased to announce that Matthew Whitaker, Chief of Staff to Attorney General Jeff Sessions at the Department of Justice, will become our new Acting Attorney General of the United States. He will serve our Country well,” the president tweeted.

“We thank Attorney General Jeff Sessions for his service, and wish him well! A permanent replacement will be nominated at a later date.”

Yes that is true! And in case you were wondering if the firing of Tribute Sessions had any effects on any kind of market, well this one, I can assure you, is for real! Yes, Tribute Sessions had a real problem with legalized pot, and was planning to escalate the war against it. But consider this a bonus as Tribute Sessions is… eliminated!

Jeff Sessions resigned as Attorney General Wednesday, which is a nice way of saying President Trump fired him. On the day after the 2018 midterms, in which the Democrats took control of the House, and on the tail end of a White House press conference that devolved into an alarming display of executive power, Sessions got the boot, giving us one more thing to react to. And probably because Sessions was a tyrant when it came to marijuana, spewing racist assumptions about how "good people" don't smoke it and supporting punitive policies that targeted people of color, cannabis stocks reacted very positively to the news.

CNBC reports that cannabis companies Canopy Growth, Aurora Cannabis, and Cronos Group all jumped up between 8 and 9 percent to close the day high. Canadian company Tilray shot up 30 percent. Data reporter Christopher Ingraham showed how the marijuana market as a whole surged (Trump announced Sessions' resignation at 2:44 p.m.):

Cannabis stocks weren't hurt by the midterm elections either, when Michigan voted to legalize recreational weed, and Utah and Missouri passed medical marijuana measures. Michigan itself adds millions of more potential weed buyers to the states, and for the first time makes a weed haven in the Midwest.

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[font size="8"]Conservatives Pay Tribute To Aretha Franklin
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From: Idiots #5-9

This week we lost a living legend. An icon of American arts, music and entertainment, and champion of civil rights, freedom, and diversity. I’m of course talking about Aretha Franklin. So the question arises – how do you honor a goddess among mere mortals? Well, there were lots of amazing tributes to Ms. Franklin, but that’s not what we are here to talk about. Instead we’re going to talk about the less sensitive ones coming from conservatives who don’t know how to pay R-E-S-PECT (see what I did there?) to one of the all time greats. Like our president for instance.

Trump reacted to news of the singer’s death during a Cabinet meeting the same day, offering his condolences to her family.

“She worked for me on numerous occasions,” he said. He also celebrated the “extraordinary legacy” of the soul, pop and R&B virtuoso, calling her “terrific.”

Trump’s comments proved, as ever, controversial, and not simply because her appearances at his properties hardly amounted to a sustained employment relationship. More pointedly, even if she had worked for him, some asked, what was the relevance of that fact on the day of her death?

“I find it disturbing and sad, and a reflection of his endless narcissism,” said David Ritz, who spent years with Franklin seeking to understand the guarded performer for his 2014 biography, “Respect: The Life of Aretha Franklin.” He also worked with Franklin on her 1999 autobiography, “Aretha: From These Roots.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So that happened. But let’s expand on that – only in white conservative America could a white supremacist like Trump ever claim that one of the most prolific black female singers of our time – was one of his employees!

Donald Trump isn’t particularly nice to anyone. His standard demeanor and language in disagreement or debate resemble the union of a road-rage incident and a bad game of the dozens. Even in agreement, he’s not a person for whom respect—of others or of the office he holds—is necessarily a guiding light. He does not run out of venom for opponents, and rarely has a word of unqualified praise for people who haven’t praised him first.

But if one pattern in his remarks about other people has crystallized in the past few months, it’s that the president employs a particular species of dismissive language when he’s talking about black women. After spending a good chunk of his first year in office attacking black men, his sophomore year has involved high-profile verbal attacks against high-profile black women. And, as evidenced by his recent remarks on the death of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, his need to subordinate black women, even without enmity, is a primary drive.

“I want to begin today by expressing my condolences to the family of a person I knew well,” Trump said Thursday during a Cabinet meeting. “She worked for me on numerous occasions. She was terrific—Aretha Franklin—on her passing. She brought joy to millions of lives and her extraordinary legacy will thrive and inspire many generations to come.”

Nah, there’s no holding or waiting. Trump was a dick and he’s so senile that he actually thought that Aretha worked for him. And here’s where it gets horrible. Aretha *HATED* Trump with the fiery passion of 1,000 suns. So he definitely ain’t giving her any R-E-S-PECT. R-E-S-PECT this, Trump!

Aretha Franklin made her feelings on President Donald Trump crystal clear behind closed doors.

The Respect singer, who died on Thursday after a battle with pancreatic cancer, was reportedly invited to perform at Trump’s inauguration ceremony in January 2016 but declined the offer as she didn’t agree with his political agenda.

According to the Daily Beast, Aretha told friends privately that ‘no amount of money’ could have persuaded her to perform at the inauguration.

Another source told the website that Aretha ‘despised’ everything Trump stood for and placed her support in his Democratic rival, Hillary Clinton, during the presidential race.

Weeks before Trump was sworn into the White House, The Hill asked Aretha if she would provide the soundtrack, to which she replied: ‘That’s a good question. That’s a very good question. We’ll see.’

Oh and here’s where it gets weird, because, why wouldn’t it? Apparently Trump was begging Aretha to perform at his inauguration, and well, she turned it down. Shit, Trump couldn’t even get an Aretha impersonator!

As we all have learned, Aretha Franklin wasn’t just the Queen of Soul, she also fought for justice. Ms. Franklin was close to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and sang at his funeral. She offered to post bail for Angela Davis in 1979, saying, “I’m going to see her free if there is any justice in our courts, not because I believe in communism, but because she’s a Black woman and she wants freedom for Black people.” Franklin also sang at three inaugurations: Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. However, there is reportedly one inauguration she refused to lend her voice — Trump’s. And a new report claims he was begging the Queen of Soul.

Franklin “hated” the rise of Trump. Tom Barrack, the chairman of the Presidential Inaugural Committee, was attempting to book Aretha, The Daily Beast reports, writing, ” Trump had long considered the legendary singer a friend, and wanted the offer framed as an opportunity to help bring the country back together after a brutal, bruising presidential election.”

A “source” told The Daily Beast that Franklin said “no amount of money” would persuade her to perform for him at the inauguration. Also, “Another knowledgeable source described her as ‘despising’ everything he stood for, as an avowed Hillary Clinton supporter.”

The Daily Beast said Barrack’s spokesman declined to comment on the story.

Of course this should be no shocker. Unlike Omarosa, Ms. Franklin was able to clearly see who Trump was.

And just when you think it couldn’t get any more insensitive, along comes Fox News and they had an even worse tribute for Aretha than Trump did! Yeah can we show that?

Praise poured in for Aretha Franklin Thursday following the news of her death from pancreatic cancer at the age of 76. Fans and fellow artists tweeted about her lasting influence, news channels ran touching retrospectives and a makeshift memorial sprung up at her Hollywood Walk of Fame star.

Somehow Fox News got it wrong.

During a video tribute to the Queen of Soul, Fox featured a graphic with two images of singers. The primary picture on the left was definitely one of a smiling Franklin. The secondary picture on the right, with the words “Aretha Franklin Singer 1942-2018” below it, was definitely Patti LaBelle.

Can we show that?


Wanna get away? You know what? Let’s play some Aretha.

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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From: Idiots #5-16

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where George’s boss discovers that he faked being handicapped and attempted to fire George, and George refused to leave, so the boss did everything he could to force George out? Well it’s kind of like that for Infowars, and we may need to get the Sad Hulk Music going for this one. But apparently there’s one outlet that’s still mysteriously keeping Infowars alive and it’s getting really strange. For those of you keeping score at home here’s who has banned Infowars so far. Paypal.

Alex Jones, founder and lead host of Infowars, has been booted off nearly every social media platform, lost access to advertising and web-hosting services, and is now denied service by the payment processor PayPal—but he is still able to generate revenue from his operation using a Visa-owned payment solution called Authorize.Net.

Because of his hateful rhetoric and bad-faith proliferation of conspiracy theories, Jones has been banned from using Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, MailChimp, PayPal, and many online advertising services.

Authorize.Net services, according to its website, “more than 430,000 merchants, handling more than 1 billion transactions and $149 billion in payments every year.” Authorize.Net’s parent company is CyberSource, which Visa acquired in 2010. One of the merchants the service works with is the Infowars web store, where Jones sells nutritional supplements and prepper supplies at inflated prices. The code running the Infowars checkout page, specifically the credit card verification system, routes to Authorize.Net.

In the terms of use presented on Authorize.Net’s website, the payment processor does not require users agree to any policies forbidding them from using the service to facilitate hate and harassment online. Color of Change, a nonprofit civil rights advocacy group, lists Visa as an “engaged” company, meaning that Visa has “no acceptable use policy but has actively removed groups under pressure,” including white supremacist groups. In the terms listed, the company says it does not assume responsibility for what its clients do and sell and that it does not guarantee “you will be satisfied with their products, services or practices.”

I can imagine that will eventually happen to Infowars. I mean could you imagine that Alex is climbing through the vents at Infowars HQ screaming about the “Deep State”? I’m just laughing just thinking about this scenario – and he’s already red enough! So guess what? Alex is fighting back! He’s suing Paypal because, reasons.

Far right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is suing PayPal over claims that his InfoWars website was blocked due to political bias.

PayPal is one of several technology companies that have banned the controversial site from their platform, with Twitter, Facebook and Spotify all saying that Mr Jones' promotion of hate and violence is in violation of their policies.

InfoWars has previously reported that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in 2012 – in which 20 students and six staff members were killed – was a hoax.

In a 15-page complaint, Mr Jones' company Free Speech Systems claims that the bans are purely political.

"It is at this point well known that large tech companies, located primarily in Silicon Valley, are discriminating against politically conservative entities and individuals, including banning them from social media platforms such as Twitter, based solely on their political and ideological viewpoints," the complaint states.

Oh Alex, how many times do we need to tell you? You’re not getting banned because of your political bias, you’re getting banned because you’re a hateful dick! And companies these days don’t want to be associated with hate speech. And I thought you guys hated trial lawyers! Or are you going to represent yourself? And you know what they say about that right?

The publisher of the controversial Infowars website sued PayPal Inc. on Monday claiming that the payment site “discriminated against Plaintiff based on its political viewpoints and politically conservative affiliation, thus violating the California Unruh Civil Rights Act.”

On Sept. 21, PayPal informed Free Speech Systems, LLC, the owner of the websites at infowars.com and prisonplanet.com, that it would cease processing payments for the sites. “PayPal is engaged in unfair business practices by enforcing its contractual terms in an unconscionable manner, namely arbitrarily banning plaintiff from its platform for off-platform speech despite never claiming it might ban users for off-platform activity,” wrote the sites’ lawyer, Marc J. Randazza, of the Randazza Legal Group in Las Vegas.

A Paypal spokesman told Courthouse News Service on Monday that company was “aware of the filing and believes the claims in the complaint are without merit.”

No, they do have merit. See, we point out time and time again that companies have this thing called a “terms of service agreement” that you probably didn’t read when you signed up, so of course you’re going to scream “wolf”. By the way one of Trump’s favorite punching bags – CNN’s Jim Acosta, nailed it when he described Infowars:

The Washington Post’s Paul Farhi followed CNN chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta as he covered yet another Trump rally. Yes, Acosta continues to receive taunts and insults, but according to Farhi, tons of rallygoers also also ask him for selfies, while the countless other journalists continued to go about their business unrecognized and unbothered.

The reception Acosta gets abroad is far different, where people are much more polite towards the press, Farhi writes, than “the different country” Acosta says he sees when in Erie or in Tampa, Fla.

Acosta tells Farhi that Trump isn’t always the source of the anger. It’s increasingly conservative media outlets, like Fox News.

“A lot of people view this through the prism of conservative media,” Acosta tells Farhi. “If you stay on Fox, Infowars, Breitbart or Daily Caller, you’ll see something [inflammatory] about us. That’s what supercharges everyone.”

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[font size="8"] The NRA & Betsy DeVos
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From: Idiots #5-10

When mass shootings are at an all time high, what’s a country already addicted to the raw power of the firearm going to do when people are getting killed at an alarming rate? Well, you can do one of two things. The first you can do is to throw more guns at it. The second is to blame everything but the gun the next time some nut with a gun goes off and starts murdering a whole bunch of people. Well, Betsy DeVos decided to do the former, while the NRA decided to do the latter. Let’s explain more:

Education Secretary Betsy DeVos is considering whether states can use federal grant money to buy guns for schools, including possibly arming teachers, after receiving queries from Texas and Oklahoma, people familiar with the matter said.

The idea drew swift criticism from Democrats, teacher unions, education groups and gun control activists, who said the response to school shootings should be fewer guns, not more. But President Donald Trump and others have argued that arming teachers would "harden" schools and make them less likely targets for mass shootings.

Texas and Oklahoma were seeking clarity on spending funds from Student Support and Academic Enrichment grants, which can be used for a wide range of school expenses.

Some opponents said firearms were never considered when the grants were created in 2015. But the $1.1 billion program has few restrictions on it, and some argued DeVos may have little choice but to give states the flexibility that Congress wrote into the law.

Now don’t boo just yet. Consider this was said the week that yet *ANOTHER* mass shooting happened, and it’s quite insane. We go to Jacksonville in of course Florida. Mass shootings are so common place anymore that it’s unbelievable that this isn’t #1 this week but in an era of sheer stupidity this isn’t all that surprising.

The young men had gathered at Chicago Pizza in Jacksonville, Fla., to conduct some serious business: crushing one another at “Madden NFL 19” as their fans watched online.

The finalists in Sunday’s regional video game tournament would proceed to the Madden Classic in Las Vegas, where the top prize is $25,000. David Katz, a slender 24-year-old who nicknamed himself “Bread,” had traveled from Baltimore to compete — only to be eliminated, witnesses said.

But Katz wasn’t done. As his competitors continued to game Sunday, Katz got a handgun and opened fire in the pizzeria. Horrified fans watched the violence unfold on a livestream online.

The shooter “targeted a few people” before killing himself, according to Stephen “Steveyj” Javaruski, one of the gamers, who took shelter in a bathroom.

At the end of it, Katz and two of his competitors were dead: Elijah Clayton and Taylor Robertson — better known to their rivals and fans in the gaming world by the handles they adopted for the screen.

Well see it’s our policy here not to joke about tragedy so we won’t try. But the Ravens losing is hardly the worst thing about this story. You really want to add more guns to the situation? Yeah let’s get crossfire involved – that will teach the shooter a lesson! Of course if you saw the latest round of excuses coming from the NRA…. Well…

"A horrible tragedy. End gun free zones or have the security in place to keep people safe in them," Loesch tweeted as reports emerged about a shooting at Jacksonville Landing.

A gunman killed two people and injured nine others when he opened fire during a Madden NFL 19 tournament at the GLHF Game Bar. The suspect, identified as 24-year-old David Katz of Baltimore, Md., died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound, authorities said.

The Jacksonville Landing rules of conduct bar visitors from bringing a weapon onto the property, even if it is legally owned and carried. Only law enforcement officers are exempted.

The NRA has called for an end to "gun free zones," particularly following a number of recent shootings. The organization renewed its calls for the change following a shooting at a Parkland, Fla., high school in February, reasoning that schools should be "hardened" to protect against potential threats.

Opponents of the policy have called for stricter gun laws, with some Democrats supporting a ban on high-capacity weapons, and raising the minimum age requirement to purchase a firearm.

OK now you can boo!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! So…. So…. So…. So let me see if I can extrapolate Ms. Loesch's logic here. The way to end shootings is to get rid of zones where guns are forbidden. What could possibly go wrong with that? Not like that, sir! Ah, yes, that’s the challenges of doing a live show! Oh and here’s my favorite excuse – the reason mass shootings happen is because of headphones! Hey wait, you know, I have an ear piece in my ear right now, yeah it’s so my director can tell me what to do. Yes, we do have a director for this show!

Grant Stinchfield, a host for the National Rifle Association’s NRATV outlet, reacted to the mass shooting at a video game tournament in Jacksonville, FL, by criticizing a survivor who shared video of the incident for supposedly not hearing the shooting over his headphones.

The August 26 shooting, which took place at a Madden 19 tournament, left two people dead and nine others wounded.

The NRA, and NRATV, frequently focus on what victims of high-profile mass casualty could have supposedly done to avoid being shot rather than focusing on how the perpetrator was able to access weapons to carry out the attack.

During the August 27 broadcast of NRATV’s current events show Stinchfield, Stinchfield played a video (warning: disturbing) from tournament participant @LaYzR96 that he said showed the survivor not reacting to the shooting because he was wearing headphones. Stinchfield said, “There’s no running for cover, there’s not even any looking around. They’re still focused on the screen in front of them as someone is firing a handgun through the crowd.”

Stinchfield apparently is mistaken about what the video shows. No one is seen wearing headphones and the only headphones seen in the shot are draped over a computer monitor, not on someone’s head. The person filming seems aware of the shooting as it happens since the camera moves around without focusing on the screen. He also later tweeted about being “in shock that I actually was witnessing this when it was live.”

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Extreme Embalming
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From: Idiots #5-8

Let’s spin the wheel shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! No, a whammy!!!

Spin it again! Oh hey New York City, it’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The questions about what happens when one dies are some extremely tough decisions to be made, such as “how will I be remembered?”. “What’s going to happen to my loved ones?”. “What will happen to my estate?”. Yes, you probably have those questions in your head and so much more. But really, the questions about how you will be remembered after you pass on is the one we are looking at for this discussion today. And you most likely don’t want to be remembered in this way. A disturbing new trend has emerged among the funeral industry called “extreme embalming”. Here’s more.

Two weeks after Renard Matthews was tragically shot and killed in his New Orleans neighborhood, the 18-year-old looked exactly how he had in life. At his wake, he lay slumped in an office chair in front of a TV "playing" NBA2K with his hands wrapped around a PS4 controller. Clad in sunglasses, socks and flip-flops, and a Celtics jersey, he even had his favorite snacks—Doritos and root beer—within reach. And that’s just how his family wanted it.

Matthews’s wake was the latest in a string of what funeral directors call "nontraditional" memorial services. Instead of displaying their loved ones in a casket, some families choose to pose the bodies in life-like scenarios to see them as they were in life before they’re laid to rest. The practice first appeared in Puerto Rico in 2008 as a more celebratory send-off to the deceased, with the Marín Funeral Home posing bodies propped up on motorcycles or standing in a makeshift boxing ring.

In 2012, "extreme embalming" funerals hit New Orleans, when the family of Lionel Batiste—the drummer in the famed Treme Brass Band—asked the Charbonnet-Labat-Glapion Funeral Home to lean him next to his bass drum, his hand resting on the cane he always carried. When Mickey Easterling, a New Orleans socialite known for her extravagant parties, died two years later, her family tapped Jacob Schoen & Son to throw her a final blowout, posing her in her signature feather boa with a cigarette in one hand and a champagne flute in the other. And then there was Miriam Burbank, a Saints fan whose daughters had Charbonnet deck her out like they’d always seen her: sitting at a table in black and gold, with a menthol cigarette between her fingers and a can of Busch beer at her side.

In fact the concept of non traditional funerals isn’t anything new. It’s gaining in popularity from where it was 5 years ago. In fact there’s a company that actually launches remains into space.

When US Army Infantry Soldier Steven Jenks was deployed in Iraq, he used to get letters from his mother signed like this: "No matter how lonely you feel and how far you are, always look at the moon and know I am with you. I love you to the moon and back."

So when his mother died of lung cancer, Jenks thought it befitting to send her remains to the moon. "I will know that she is looking down on my family and maybe they won't feel so alone," he said in a statement.

Jenks is the first client of Elysium Space, a company that offers "celestial services to honor and celebrate the life of someone you love." (In other words, they launch small amounts of cremated remains into space.) In a press release, Elysium said: "The time to change the vision of death from the underground to the celestial is now."

But even that isn’t anything new. However the concept has taken some interesting new turns and has generated controversy. Mainly – how do you prop up a corpse?

MIRIAM Birkbank is sat at a dining room table with a can of her favourite beer and a pack of cigs... but the 53-year-old isn't enjoying a relaxing evening at home after a long day's work.

In fact, she's dead - and her rigid body has been dressed up, contorted into position and put on display at the request of her family.

This is extreme embalming - where bodies are preserved by injecting them with a chemical fluid which makes them totally rigid - before being displayed in bizarre real life positions.

Corpses are forced into position by having their feet nailed to the floor, poles erected behind their necks - and even their limbs prized apart.

The demand for it is growing, with more and more people paying around Ł2,000 to have their loved one brought back to life for 2-3 days before the funeral takes place.

Yes, there’s actually a growing demand for non traditional and unusual funeral services. Of course people want to be remembered as they lived, not as they died. But is this acceptable in current society? Some might say yes and others say no. It’s a hotly debated topic but ultimately we’ll leave it to the deceased.

Charbonnet Labat Glapion Funeral Home, where Matthews' wake took place, is accustomed to handling "extreme embalming" requests. They have go-to specialists that prepare the bodies according to the families' specifications or the stated wishes of the deceased, and also offer traditional New Orleans jazz funerals.

"One time, we stood a deceased drummer from a grassroots band at a drum set," the funeral home told Yahoo Lifestyle.

At another Charbonnet Labat Glapion wake, Miriam "Mae Mae" Burbank, 53, was positioned at a table with a menthol cigarette, an ashtray, and a Busch beer, her fingernails painted in the colors of her beloved New Orleans Saints football team.

"A lot of people didn't accept what I was doing," Burbank's daughter Zymora Kimball told WGNO of her mother's 2014 bar-themed memorial. "I didn't let that stop me, and I know she's happy with how she's looking. That's her, that's Mae."

Other examples of "extreme embalming" have positioned the dead in superhero costumes, driving a car (with some mourners taking the time to sit beside the deceased), or simply sitting in a realistic fashion wearing their everyday clothes.

That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #5-17

Gather around, my fair brothers and sisters of Philadelphia, it’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate! For the Holy Church of the Top 10 has convened and it’s our weekly duty to remind you why the holiest among us are also the most full of:

My fair congregation!!! You know that Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting! I heard someone say something like that once. No it wasn’t Sir Elton, although that would make sense. Thank you sir! And while there’s a non secular fight club on the east coast called the “Proud Boys”, this group has been trying to take over Portland like nobody’s business. And just like that secular group, this group called “Patriot Prayer” is certainly going to take over downtown Portland. Or are they?

About two dozen supporters of the far-right Patriot Prayer group gathered Monday on a closed Clark College campus to protest a Washington ballot initiative.

Leader Joey Gibson told the ralliers that Monday's rally was a warm-up for Wednesday when he said they will return to the campus to try to talk to students about the importance of gun ownership.

Clark College President Bob Knight in a letter last week shut down campus Monday after the rally was announced. He encouraged students, staff and faculty to avoid the campus for the day if possible.

Only three or so students showed up. They followed Gibson and his supporters on a 15-minute walk from campus to the Interstate 5 overpass, where they waved U.S. flags and signs that urged people to vote no on Initiative 1639, which would raise the minimum age of semi-automatic rifle purchasers to 21 from 18. It would also impose a 10-day waiting period for semi-automatic purchases and require buyers to take firearms training.

Annabelle Forteo said she attends Clark College two days a week and was annoyed that one of those days was interrupted by the closure.

You know even the good LAWRD JAYSUS thinks this is ridiculous! I mean really I have read and memorized the Good Book from cover to cover and I don’t remember anywhere where it said that JAYSUS shot first and asked questions later! Thank you! I mean did he pray six times or only five? I don’t remember that passage! Yes, that was from the book of Harry, sir! But once again there were more counter protesters than actual protesters. But of course if you’re going to show up to a Patriot Prayer rally, you’re going to get into a fight! Because that’s how they roll.

A demonstration billed as a march for "law and order" in the streets of Portland descended into chaos as rival political factions broke into bloody brawls downtown Saturday night.

Members of the right-wing group Patriot Prayer and their black-clad adversaries, known as antifa, used bear spray, bare fists and batons to thrash each other outside Kelly's Olympian, a popular bar on Southwest Washington Street.

The melee, which lasted more than a minute, ended when riot cops rushed in and fired pepper balls at the street fighters.

The Portland Police Bureau reported seeing protest and counter-protest participants outfitted with hard knuckle gloves, knives and firearms earlier in the evening. Police said they made no arrests Saturday night, but will continue to investigate.

The wild scene unfolded amid mounting tensions among both groups, fueled in part by a pair of national news stories.

Sounds about right. Oh and nobody hates more than Patriot Prayer, they’re the original player haters, and like all horrible things, the group started shortly after the Dark One – whose name shall not be mentioned in my church - assumed power. But unlike that other group, the Patriot Prayer warriors are armed and dangerous, and they’re not afraid to use them!

Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler intended to look decisive Monday afternoon by announcing an emergency ordinance that would give police broad authority to control warring protest groups.

But as he justified his action, the mayor opened a can of worms. He described an alarming discovery—a nest of guns on a downtown roof—that raised more questions than it answered.

In the early morning of Aug. 4, hours before a massive waterfront protest, Portland police officers discovered a group of Patriot Prayer supporters on the roof of a parking garage in downtown. According to a description provided in the mayor's proposed ordinance, the men had a "cache of firearms," which a mayoral staffer would later describe as "long guns."

"Prior to the start of the scheduled demonstrations, police discovered individuals who had positioned themselves on a rooftop parking structure in downtown Portland with a cache of firearms," the ordinance says.

Yes, even SAYTAN himself condemns this group of prayer warriors to the fiery pits of the darkest regions of HELL! Because that’s where these sinners are going! But guess what? Just like Deadpool they’re taking their fight international! Coming soon to a city near you – this shit!

Fresh off another violent street brawl in Portland, Patriot Prayer is planning a pair of college campus visits to talk about guns -- but now is turning its attention to its home turf of Clark County.

Members of the right-wing group plan to be at Clark College on Oct. 22 and Washington State University Vancouver the next day to protest a state ballot initiative that would raise the minimum age of semi-automatic rifle purchasers to 21 from 18.

Joey Gibson, a Vancouver resident and Patriot Prayer's leader, said about three dozen supporters will hand out fliers encouraging students to oppose Initiative 1639, which would also impose a 10-day waiting period for semi-automatic purchases and require buyers to take firearms training.

Several campus groups at WSU Vancouver this week published an open letter to urge students and faculty not to attend class during Patriot Prayer's visit, citing the group's propensity for physical confrontations and its history of drawing white nationalists and other controversial participants to its events, The Columbian reported.

Clark College spokeswoman Hannah Erickson told the paper the school also had concerns about the group coming to its campus, which Gibson dismissed.

"They're not going to stop us talking to students. It's not going to happen," he told The Columbian, adding that Initiative 1639 was "fascist."

Well, Joey, you can talk all you want! Doesn’t mean that anyone is going to listen, and you’re probably going to get into a fight or two! By the way, how great is our gospel choir? Give it up for them! Can I get an amen??? But really the take away here is that these guys are dangerous and insane and you can’t get away from them!

The Oregonian/OregonLive has been able to identify the woman, but not the man. He's wearing a black hoodie emblazoned with the logo for AK Press, a book publisher that specializes in anarchist and radical literature.

The woman didn't respond to multiple phone calls and Facebook messages Thursday seeking comment. New York police and others associated with 9/11 can't confirm she was married to a 9/11 victim.

The episode occurred at the end of a Patriot Prayer march for "law and order" in downtown Portland that spiraled into a violent brawl between the right-wing group and its antifascist, or antifa, adversaries.

Later that evening, a man erupted at a woman standing near the corner of Southwest Morrison Street and Broadway.

"Why are you trying to block me?" says the man, adding an expletive.

There you have it folks! The devil has spoken and it is through Patriot Prayer! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse
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Ed. Note: This entry was originally cut from Idiots #5-24 but we are presenting it to you in its’ entirety. Enjoy!

Hey it’s time for:

Is it finally time to get serious about having sex with robots? That’s been a question for the ages as long as the concept of artificial intelligence has been around. We’ve seen this in quite a few movies recently like Her and Ex Machina. But is it time to get serious about the subject? Yes, the idea of a “robosexual” as the term was coined by Futurama is quite laughable. But with recent advancements in artificial intelligence, it seems like the inevitable of having sex with robots is becoming a real possibility!

Sex robots are not just coming, they are already here. In a world where we are more connected yet lonelier than ever before, what does this mean for sex, and what does it mean for relationships?

Artificial intelligence (AI) shouldn’t be seen as a substitute for human companionship, said Professor Kathleen Richardson, Professor of Ethics and Culture of Robots at De Montfort University in the UK, and founder of the Campaign against Sex Robots.

Professor Richardson spoke about the unforeseen consequences of sex robots at an event held at UNSW on Monday as part of the UNSW Grand Challenge on Living with 21st Century Technology.

Professor Richardson’s research shoots from a theory surrounding human attachment. Known as the ‘attachment crisis’, the theory suggests that, as society continues to fragment, we see an increase in loneliness as humans struggle to form and maintain intimate relationships with one another.

She rejects the notion that caregiver and therapeutic robots – in particular sex robots – can help humans cope with our inability to connect during this crisis of ‘human attachment’.

So let me ask you this professor, what happens when the sex robots become self aware? Also let me ask you this – would having sex with a robot while you’re married be considered cheating? Well, that brings up a very interesting point and also a very grey area – and yes – it is considered cheating!

Scientists found most people are open-minded about singletons making love to a sexbot.

A team at the University of Helsinki in Finland ran two surveys of 172 and 260 people, looking at whether bonking a robot for cash was morally acceptable.

Participants were asked their views on a scenario involving paying for sex with a doll or a human, according to the New Scientist.

Overall, married people who visited a brothel were most harshly condemned, women in particular.

But participants were less likely to frown upon single adults sleeping with sex workers or robots.

Robot relationship expert Thomas Arnold, from Tufts University in Massachusetts said: “Relationships seem to drive how people morally judge the use of sex robots.

“The more you start thinking about it as something that could compete against or interfere with your relationships, that seems to be what people morally object to.”

Seriously people, don’t date robots! It’s really that fucking simple! I mean we are going around in circles here, and when sex robot brothels are a thing you know that shit’s about to get real! And I mean we’re only a few years away from crazy ex girlfriend robots, yeah and guys, we really don’t want to go there, do we? But what about robot brothels?

Unicult's leader, Unicole Unicron, announced their goal of opening Eve's Robot Dreams with an Indiegogo campaign (that recently failed to meet more than one percent of its $155,000 goal). While the concept of a sex robot brothel isn't new—a recent attempt to open the first-ever bot brothel in Houston recently failed after the city council made it illegal to have sex with mechanical objects in local businesses—Eve's Robot Dreams is unique in its focus on consent.

In other words, in order for a client to have sex with one of the brothel's bots, the sex robots would have to agree to it first.

"The goal of Eve’s as an aspect of Unicult is to spread matriarchal change through AI and robots," Unicron told the Daily Beast. Unicron added that Eve's would be staffed entirely by Harmony, a model from Real Doll X that "warms up" to users through conversation. In order to have sex with Harmony, partners have to rack up "conversational points" with Harmony before she "consents" to sex.

Yeah sure leave it to a cult leader to convince the masses that sex with robots is a thing! But guess what – there’s conferences now on how to have sex with robots! Really, no, this is not an area we need to explore, people! But guess who one of their keynote speakers was? This might be one of my favorite stories of the year!

The organizer of an event bringing prominent nationalist Stephen Bannon to Missoula is seeking a faculty member from the University of Montana to debate the former presidential strategist.

In an email, organizer Adrian Cheok confirmed the ACE 2018 International Conference on Advances in Computer Entertainment Technology is “totally shut down,” aside from the appearance of Bannon.

Although the conference was scheduled to be held at UM, the university is not a sponsor.

“The [debate] topic is ‘the future of populism,’” Cheok said in an email. “We hope a UM professor will volunteer to join. … If you know of a professor at UM who would be good and willing to join the debate please tell me.”

Academic researchers cited concern about the quality of peer review for conference submissions and the affiliation with a separate forum called the International Congress on Love and Sex with Robots. In a boycott, a majority of presenters withdrew from the computer science event.


We can only imagine that’s exactly what the promoters of this event did after being found out that their event was cancelled after hiring Steve Bannon. nd by the way in case you were wondering, no, having sex with robots just is not good for you! It just isn’t!

As the sex robot industry continues to grow, so does the long lists of claims about why we should have sex robots.

We’re talking safer sex, helping with sexual dysfunction, treating paedophiles and sex offenders, alleviating loneliness, meeting people’s needs and desires, having therapeutic potential and changing societal norms. And recently a professor from the University of British Columbia claimed that sexbots could improve marriages as they would be more about love and less about sex.

According to Dr Bruce Y Lee, an associate professor of International Health at the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health this could pose a problem. “The concern is that sexbots may do the opposite by reducing real human contact, blurring reality (programming someone to do exactly what you want is not reality), encouraging unsafe practices that may then be used on humans, and creating unrealistic expectations of mates.”

“The overwhelmingly predominant market for sexbots will be unrelated to healthcare. Thus the ‘health’ arguments made for their benefits, as with so many advertised products, are rather specious,” wrote a pair of UK researchers Chantal Cox-George and Susan Bewley. They hunted down every study they could find on sexbots and their report was recently published in BMJ Sexual & Reproductive Health.

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[font size="8"]Red Ice TV: How Is This Still A Thing
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From: Idiots #5-13

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin shall we? Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop!!! Donald Trump!

If only, stadium banner. If only! Spin it again. Oh hey it’s time once again for:

Red Ice TV – how is this still a thing? With social media sites taking a stand and cracking down on hate content, one channel has managed to not only slip through the cracks, it continues to thrive and monetize. That channel is Red Ice – a Youtube channel by and for white nationalists. So while prominent media outlets for white supremacists like Identity Europa got the axe, others like Red Ice, still continue to exist.

The far-right white identitarian group Identity Evropa announced yesterday that its YouTube account had been suspended for “multiple or severe violations” of the site’s community guidelines on hate speech.

Identity Evropa describes its organization as “a fraternal organization for people of European heritage located in the United States that participates in community building and civic engagement.” Identity Evropa is part of a rebranded European identitarian movement driven inspired by prior generations of white supremacy. The Southern Poverty Law Center identifies Identity Evropa to be a white nationalist hate group. The group’s founder, Nathan Damigo, helped plan the 2017 Unite the Right event that brought neo-Nazis into the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia, and resulted in violence and the killing of counter-demonstrator Heather Heyer. In the United States, Identity Evropa has made headlines for quietly organized banner-drops and its recruitment of young adults into its rebranded version of the Western white supremacist movement.

Yesterday, the Twitter account associated with Identity Evropa posted that its YouTube account had been terminated. The group claimed, “This censorship is purely political—they want to silence us, but we’re not going anywhere!” On the page where the group used to host videos, a message reads, “This account has been terminated due to multiple or severe violations of YouTube’s policy prohibiting hate speech.”

Identity Evropa executive director Patrick Casey, who has recently picked up a job at the white nationalist web-based outlet Red Ice, said he was notified of the ban while he appeared on a podcast called “Revenge of the Cis” that features anti-Semitic and racist jokes presented under the guise of comedy. (That podcast is still available on YouTube. We have reached out to Google for clarification via email.)

Yes and Red Ice is one such Youtube channel where they continue to say some of the most racist shit imaginable and yet nothing happens to them. In fact if you want a sampling of the people who run the channel and the kind of quality racist content you can get, here’s who runs Red Ice.

YouTube shook up the far-right internet last month when it banned InfoWars chief Alex Jones from its platform, cutting the internet’s leading conspiracy theorist off from millions of viewers.

But YouTube’s crackdown on hate speech has mostly spared another, even more extreme channel that promotes hate: Sweden-based Red Ice TV.

Since it started as a conspiracy theory outlet in 2003, Red Ice grown into one of the racist alt-right’s leading voices on the internet, amassing nearly 230,000 followers on the site. But the channel remain on YouTube, with few restrictions on how YouTube users can find their videos in search or via recommendation algorithms.

Led by husband-and-wife team Henrik Palmgren and Lana Lokteff, Red Ice has become a gateway to other racist media, including neo-Nazi website The Daily Stormer.

YouTube kicked Jones off its platform for violating the site’s rules against hate speech, among other things, but Red Ice regularly promotes hate against immigrants and Jews, riling up its listeners with claims that white people are under facing extinction at hands of minority groups.

Yes so that happened. But if you want to get a peek at the kind of content you’ll see regularly on Red Ice TV, look no further than hosts Lana Lokteff and Lauren Rose.

Lana Lokteff, a host at the white supremacist web-based outlet Red Ice, made a video praising Fox News host Tucker Carlson for questioning whether diversity is a strength on his show, expanding that praise to argue that white men are discriminated against.

Lokteff is an unabashed “ethno-nationalist,” meaning that she advocates for immigration policies that would enforce a white supermajority in America and has declared that American “can never, ever, ever, be too white.”

In a video uploaded to Red Ice’s YouTube channel, Lokteff decries “forced multiculturalism,” a label she applies to changing attitudes about race relations in America, and dismisses evidence that shows that hiring a diverse group of workers can make companies more profitable. Lokteff argues, as she has before, that Europe was already contained diversity among its white majority because a variety of languages and cultural traditions existed among its white supermajority.

And yes that is most certainly true, especially in this case. There was also that time when Red Ice simply stopped giving a shit and went full 1488. And you never, ever go full 1488. There is simply no coming back from that.

A trio of YouTube personalities beloved by the racist alt-right discarded any attempts to hide their white nationalism, uploading a discussion yesterday in which they explicitly embraced “ethno-nationalism” and fretted that white people, the “founding stock” of America, are becoming a minority in the country.

Faith Goldy, a former Rebel Media reporter who has grown ever closer to the alt-right, joined Red Ice host Lana Lokteff and 4chan YouTube muse Lauren Rose in a video uploaded yesterday to deliver full-throated endorsements of ethno-nationalism, a movement that seeks to promote white supremacy in Western nations.

Which is probably true. Even Iowa representative Steve King – who is known to be horrifically racist at times, is a fan of Red Ice.

For the second time in three months, Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) has promoted the views of a prominent white nationalist on Twitter.

In a tweet posted early Wednesday afternoon, King quote-tweeted Lana Lokteff, a host for the white nationalist media outfit Red Ice, which the Southern Poverty Law Center has designated a hate group.

In his tweet, King argued incorrectly that Nazis were part of a left-wing movement.

The word “Nazi,” King wrote, “is injected into Leftist talking points because the worn out & exhausted ‘racist’ is over used & applied to everyone who lacks melanin & who fail to virtue signal at the requisite frequency & decibels. But...Nazis were socialists & Leftists are socialists.”

Yes, boo indeed. But when asked to tone down the content of their videos, Red Ice played very loosely with Youtube’s terms of service agreement. Which involved them skirting around the rules but still manages to put out hate content and monetize off of it.


Red Ice’s successful YouTube account is key to the outlet’s success, according to Hankes. When YouTube “limited” a few Red Ice videos, a punishment that makes it impossible to monetize the videos and harder to find through recommendation algorithms ,Red Ice panicked, said Hankes.

“When they first started getting videos put in the limited state by YouTube, they were apoplectic,” Hankes said.

YouTube has belatedly cracked down on at least one other Red Ice video this week, albeit only after being pressured via a viral Twitter thread.

Yes they simply don’t use Youtube to promote. They just use another social media platform to promote the hate they spew on another social media platform. That’s enough to make you ask – Red Ice TV:

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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From: [link https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211347667 | Idiots #5-18]

Let’s spin that shit! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Bankrupt? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Spin it again. Hey it’s time for People Are Dumb! Hit it!

So of course you know by now people are people and people are dumb. And we can never go one week without seeing some ridiculously dumb people. Who is stupid this week you might ask? Well let’s start with this story from Fresno. Look…. Look…. If you see a spider, I know your first instinct may be to try to kill it, but really, yeah, don’t be like this guy. Can we all agree on that one?

A house caught on fire after a man tried to kill spiders and get rid of webs, according to a fire department.

Fresno firefighters said the man was house sitting for his parents and used a blowtorch against black widows, KFSN-TV reported.

Fire department spokesman Capt. Robert Castillo said the man used the open flame outdoors, starting at a brick veneer section of the approximately 4,000-square-foot home. He eventually noticed smoke coming from the attic.

Fire trucks inundated a street by the home Tuesday night. About 27 firefighters responded.

It caused an estimated $10,000 in damage.

Yeah so maybe spiders and blow torches don’t mix. Although it is Fresno, they elected and continue to support Devin Nunes. Next up – we’re going overseas to the country of Belgium. So here’s the thing about heists – if you’re in one, maybe don’t return to the scene of the crime? Because that’s exactly what these guys did.

A gang of robbers walk into a shop. The owner asks them to come back later when he has more money, and when they do...

It feels like the makings of a joke, but for a Belgian e-cigarette shop owner this was a frightening reality.

Six people entered Didier's shop in the suburbs of Charleroi in daylight with the intent to rob him.

The salesman told the group to return at the end of the day, when he could give them more money. In the end though, he got them arrested instead.


This might be the dumbest heist since they bought the wrong masks in Baby Driver! Next up we go to Cleveland, Ohio. I don’t know if anyone saw Always Sunny In Philadelphia last week but Charlie got himself caught in a bear trap while going Home Alone against two burglars. Yeah that scene is clearly not to be imitated!

A 68-year-old man accidentally shot himself with a gun rigged at his back door.

Edwin Smith was caught in his own trap at about 11:30 a.m. Monday, at 124 Blevins Drive off of Stony Point Road outside of Shelby.

According to investigators, Smith had a shotgun set up facing his back door. He went outside to feed some squirrels. At some point, he opened the door and the gun fired and hit his right arm. Cleveland County Sheriff’s deputies did not immediately know if the contraption malfunctioned or if he forgot the weapon was rigged to fire.

“I’ve never seen anything quite like this,” said Capt. Jon Wright with the Sheriff’s Office.

First responders cautiously went through the home to be sure nothing else was rigged with weapons. The man was taken to Atrium Health in Shelby.

Wright said Smith was severely wounded but alert when he was transported.

Next we go to of course America’s penis, the state of Florida for this one. And you know we’re going to Orlando next week! But this might be one of the most Florida Halloween stories ever. So if you are going to a costume party or other Halloween party, and if you see two people fighting on the street dressed in costume, you’re in Florida!

A 19-year-old Florida man was arrested for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Saturday night. According to the cops, the man, Patrick Gallway, did it while wearing an inflatable dinosaur costume. The incident started when Patrick Gallway demanded that he and his girlfriend go to a Halloween party, and she told him she didn’t want to go, according to the Smoking Gun

The police report filed by the St. Lucie police department states that the girlfriend told Gallway that she thought she and Gallway should spend the evening with friends and watch movies versus going to the Halloween party. That’s when an argument was initiated between the pair, and Gallway proceeded to hurl his new cellphone on the couch, breaking parts of it. The girlfriend then walked out of the living room in an attempt to defuse the escalating argument.

That’s when the dinosaur-clad Gallway followed her and attacked her, according to the police report. The document states that Gallway shoved her to the ground and held her there by her neck. The report additionally states that he made punching motions and flailed his arms toward areas of her face while holding her down.

Excuse me a minute! Finally this week we’re also sticking with America’s penis – and also speaking of penises – the Buffalo Bills have a very odd tradition going on with the team everyone loves to hate – the New England Patriots, and well, we question his methods of getting a dildo into a stadium.

ORCHARD PARK, NY-- A Florida man is facing charges for allegedly throwing a sex toy onto the field during Monday's Bills' game at New Era Field.

Erie County Sheriff's deputies say Michael Abdallah, 34 of Oveido, Florida was identified by witnesses and in-stadium video surveillance footage.

Abdallah is charged with disorderly conduct – creating a hazardous/offensive condition. He was taken to the Erie County Holding Center pending his arraignment in Orchard Park Town Court.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Deep State Diaries Episode 12: The US Navy
[br] [/font]

It’s time for episode 12 of Deep State Diaries. Yes we’re touring the 24 branches and services that make up the United States government. Everything from the FBI to the IRS to the Pentagon to the CIA to the DPW to the DVA to parks and recreation and all branches and services in between. Of course if you’re here you probably already know more about our government and how it works than your average Fox News loving Trump supporter does. So that’s what this segment is going to address. We are going to do a deep dive into all that makes the United States the United States. Because we here at the Top 10 love to educate as well as entertain. Because we care.

[font size="6"]The US Navy[/font]

Ahoy mateys! Welcome aboard! We need some music for this one!

OK so you know that our show policy now is that we will never make fun of anyone on active duty or our armed forces. But we can make fun of the situation right? I mean after all, it’s our god given first amendment right damn it! So no journey through the Deep State would be complete without paying a visit to one of the most important buildings in the United States of America – the Pentagon! And of course the Pentagon famously has 5 branches which we will all be exploring. Soon to be a sixth if we create Space Force under the Trump administration. But if you need to know what those are – they’re the Army, the Navy, the Air Force, the US Marine Corp, and the Coast Guard. Of which we will be exploring those later. But here’s what you should know what the Navy has been up to lately.

The U.S. surface Navy is moving rapidly toward buying a new large surface ship that will replace the aging cruisers, a ship that Navy leaders and experts say will need to be spacious to accommodate future upgrades and weapon systems.

The office of the Chief of Naval Operations Director of Surface Warfare, or OPNAV N96, has convened a “large surface combatant requirements evaluation team” to figure out what the Navy’s next large ship will look like and what it will need to do. The goal, according to the N96 head Rear Adm. Ron Boxall, will be to buy the first cruiser replacement in 2023 or 2024.

The acquisition process should kick off formally next year once a capabilities development document is completed, but a few main factors are driving the size requirement, Boxall said.

The fleet is pushing towards designs that can easily be upgraded without a major overhaul. To do that, the Navy thinks its going to need a lot of extra power for more energy-intensive weapons in the future, such as electromagnetic rail guns and laser weapons.

Apparently no boat is big enough for the US Navy. They need bigger boats and bigger boats! I mean what good is the USS Enterprise when the enemy already has a bigger ship waiting for them in the wings here? Yes, I do realize I almost said “shit”, sir, thank you. But what else has the Navy been up to? We have above water but what about underwater?

General Dynamics’ (GD) wholly owned subsidiary Electric Boat has been awarded a $480.6m contract modification to continue development of the US Navy’s next-generation Columbia-class ballistic-missile submarine.

Under the contract modification, the company will be responsible for providing funding for advance procurement, advance construction and long lead time material for the first Columbia-class (SSBN 826) nuclear submarine.

The US Navy intends to develop and deploy a fleet of 12 new Columbia-class SSBNs, with the construction of the lead sea-based strategic deterrent slated to commence at the end of 2020.

Initially awarded in September last year, the complete contract for the production of 12 vessels has a total potential value of $6.1bn.

I really wonder if actual US Navy troops love or hate that song? Hey if you do be sure to leave it in the comments after the show. If you don’t, we’ll post the best hate mail in a future Top 10! So we’ve covered above water and underwater. But what happens when the US Navy rolls out their latest vessel? See how I used Navy speak there?

On the Camden waterfront, the World War II-era battleship USS New Jersey can be found moored as a floating museum. Her fighting days long over, the state’s namesake — which was launched in 1942 — serves as a reminder of an earlier age of naval warfare.

Far to the south in Virginia, meanwhile, another USS New Jersey is slowly taking shape in a sprawling shipyard in Newport News.

Smaller and far deadlier than its hulking predecessor, the nuclear attack submarine SSN-796 will be the next ship to carry the state’s name.

Now about 43 percent complete, the New Jersey will be delivered to the U.S. Navy in late 2021, said a spokesman for Huntington Ingalls-Newport News Shipbuilding.

While only a few photos of the work in progress have been cleared for release, they show workers in tight spaces assembling interior modules of the submarine.

Excuse me a minute… OK moving on. So what is the take away here? The United States loves its’ boats and sea vessels, and the bigger they are the better they are! And the more firepower they can unleash on their wartime opponents! But the challenges that the US Navy faces are some of the more harder ones of the US military to face especially given the challenges of the sea.

The next time we have a big war, I think the Navy will be our armed service that is caught the most flat-footed.

Why? Because it hasn’t had its nose bloodied since 1945. That’s a long time to go without facing a serious combat challenge.

Yes, it has had violent losses, such as aboard the USS Stark. But there is not a single person wearing a Navy uniform that has experienced a full-on attack by an enemy fleet.

What will catastrophe look like? Well, to get a notion, rub together these two sentences from the September issue of Proceedings:

“Two things are certain in the perennial carrier debate—the Navy will have carriers for decades to come, and as long as it does, the argument about their centrality to the fleet will continue.”

[font size="6"]Score Card [/font]

Overall importance: A
How Things Are Going: A+
Likely hood To Survive: A+

Overall: A+

[font size="6"]Next Week [/font]

We’re hanging out again in the Pentagon next week as we are going to explore the impact that Trump’s proposed Space Force has had on the US Air Force!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8”]Gorillaz[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is one of my favorite bands of the last few years. Their latest album is called “The Now Now”. You can see them October 20th at the Demon Days Festival at the Pico Rivera Sports Arena in Pico Rivera, California. Playing their song “Hollywood”, give it up for Gorillaz!

We hope you enjoyed this best of! The Top 10 returns next week with a brand new edition live from Portland! See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of Live Audience At: Levity Live, Oxnard, CA
Special Thanks To: Levity Live Management
Holy Shit Gospel Choir: Heritage Church Band, Camarillo, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

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