slightlv
slightlv's JournalJust need to rant... don't need to go down the rabbit hole..!
This started out as a rant to what I saw as ageism in a comment. Since I’ve not been totally on an even keel all day because of pain levels, I erased my comment and decided to write this. Hopefully you’ll be understanding.
I was forced into retirement 3 years ago (I'm 67 now) due to disability, work which I loved doing, and which should have been covered by the ADA... *especially* since I worked for the DoD. Since then, my pain meds have not only increased in price (tho the generics have aged), but every year brings new obstacles to overcome in my search to keep functioning and on my feet.
I read today HSA is gonna ramp up keeping illicit opiates out of the U.S. Okay… bad journalism strikes again, I hope, tho… middle of the article sounds like they were going to work on reducing supply of all opiates in the U.S. And then we moved on to the Government Shutdown. Quite a few comments left about us old people voting idiotically/republican. Okay… that one, I admit, got my goat. That’s the one where I started to leave a comment.
I'm married to a man 5 years older and much less physically able than I am. I was the main breadwinner for this family all our married lives, lot of good that did. I'm a woman. and I watched my male IT friends make 30K+ more than me each year for doing the exact same job as me, simply because I was female (this was before the DoD). If you don’t know what that does to that SS check when you draw it, look into it.
I have 9 cats and one dog who's as big as a pony. I've been a true blue democrat my entire life; my first vote was cast for Jimmy Carter. I was also in one of the first flights of female "law enforcement officers...LE" (as they called us at the time) in the United States Air Force.
I’m a veteran who was very proud to work for various Army Colleges creating, designing, and troubleshooting distance learning curriculum for my Reserve and National Guard brothers and sisters in the field. You do not know how deep the hatred and the word “traitor” is branded in my heart against *rump. And, whether you’re in combat or just in Basic Training the person beside you is your best friend. It doesn’t make any difference the color, sex, gender, or faith. Whatever you’re into, you’re in it together.
I currently live in a small city with a military post, and this is an active military retirement town. Although most of the retirees around here are officer types, even *I* wouldn't be so bold to say they could afford a shut down! (and believe me, they made a hell of a lot more than my pay grade! lol)
Thing is, there's a lot of older people around me for blocks around... some I check on to be sure they're okay. I don't ask if they're R or D but from the looks of their homes, I'll bet the majority are D. Our area has been badly gerrymandered. And besides, just because our bodies have seen better days, it doesn't automatically turn us into Republican nincompoops!*
Pray tell…. How in the hell am I going to feed myself and my hubby, plus the critters, plus the ferals I look after, as well as the older people I check in on? It's already been getting tighter than hell around here because of an unexpected complete car breakdown and a $4000 bill to fix the other one. And now I've got THIS to worry about?????
The other day, one of the women I check in on... who has 2 cats herself, gave ME a half case of Fancy Feast to help me. Kinda hurt my pride, but I accepted it willingly and gratefully; I knew where it was coming from in her heart.. she knew from her neighbors (our best friends) what the car bill had done to us.
So.... if you see an older person out there, just realize they may be even more blue than you when it comes to voting.
A good many of us old women got the younger ones the freedoms we all just lost. Think how *we* feel when you realize how much work it took to achieve that victory the first time?!
And many, many of the men and women you see may be Reserve or National Guard troops (that is, if they can get moved thanks to Tuberville). They left jobs and family and went straight into military life (some having only been in training gigs before). That’s how this pacifist stayed so long in doing that job. These people were yanked out of “normal life” and put into kill or be killed situations. Can you imagine how terrified you would be? What would you not do for them?
Like I said, part of this OP is a rant that was started towards a comment today. I erased that and decided to expound a little more. I needed some relief, I guess. I took one hell of a hard fall last night, and I think it’s jiggled a few of those remaining brain cells I’ve got left. I was hit with how little it would take to see my own mortality flash before my eyes. Kinda scary… especially for my husband.
We’ve got an old, torn up massage chair that must weight 500+ pounds. 3 years ago I was able to wiggle it, inch by inch, into the laundry room to get it out of the way. Of all the useful things we left behind in the last move, we made sure to move that damnable chair! (LOL) Anyway, I was pulling on the headrest to pull the top of the chair forward with all my strength and might when I guess my hand just flew off it… my arthritis or sweaty leather the cause, I’m not sure.
Chevy Chase couldn’t have executed a better fall!!!! Straight as a plank I went down on the hardwood floor, my extruding tailbone taking the first and full brunt of 95 pounds of dead weight. Needless to say, sitting was out of the question and laying down wasn’t all that comfy. It wasn’t until I went to bed I discovered the quarter sized goose egg on the side of my head. No, I didn’t head to the ER. I knew I hadn’t broken anything; and, having a script for pain meds, they wouldn’t have given me anything, anyway.
Unfortunately, I used the last of those yesterday… out til Friday. Of course. Don’t you always do something stupid just before your meds run out?! (LOL)
I’m not a happy camper, and I hope I haven’t offended anyone when I responded to comments because of it. I really have tried to keep a sense of humor. I keep having this Chevy Chase moment flash thru my mind and it makes me giggle.
It also reminds me that one of these days there could be a not so funny fall waiting for me. You younguns’ out there don’t have any idea of what it’s like to be this age and yet still feel inside like you did when you were in your 20’s.
The Spirit is invincible; it’s a let down when you realize the body just ain’t gonna let you, tho. Believe me, calling anyone a “republican” or “conservative” just because they’re old isn’t the worst hurt in the world… but it may get a rambling response like this every once in a while. Be prepared… because one of these days, I’ll lay odds you lay your hand to type one as well.
Be well, be brave. May you never hunger, may you never thirst. May love ever find you.
*of course, depending on your experience, YMMV.
How is it I never found my way to the Lounge???
I always thought this was a place where that wasn't pleasant, but I scanned the topics and it seems okay... and I love the cat video "the little brother" ... whoever posted that!
Do you take rants? I don't know where else to post, and I hate to intrude into a forum like mental health when someone else may be in need and I'm okay. I just needed to rant a little bit... it's even a fairly genteel rant (I think... at least, for me!)
Thank you!
To whomever gifted me a star membership, thank you SO much! (The onions I'm cutting have my eyes a bit bleary right now). I've been around for a long time, but it took a long time before I was brave enough to make my own voice known. I've felt DU is my "home" since the days of Bush Jr... and it means so much to feel like I truly am part of our "family" here. I'm humbled... bless you!
Chicago...
Hubby and I haven't had a vacation in decades... not since before 9/11. We've decided we're going to Chicago to celebrate our anniversary. We're going slow and easy... on Amtrak.
I'm wondering if we have an Chicago DU'ers who can give us suggestions. I see where the Tall Ship Windy is going to be there during that time (+/- Sept 21st), and hubby will want to check it out. I want to do a dinner cruise. But other than that, we're so open to suggestions! We'd like to stay around the Union Station area, so we don't have to worry about transportation. Hopefully we can walk to most everything.
Thanks!!!!
The Parliament of World's Religion
The Parliament of World’s Religion will convene in Chicago next Monday (8/14). This year, the theme of the gathering is defending freedom and human rights against the rise of authoritarianism.
The Parliament of the World’s Religions is an international interfaith organization that aims to promote dialogue, understanding, and cooperation among different religious and spiritual traditions. It brings together representatives from various faith communities, scholars, activists, and leaders to engage in discussions, workshops, and events addressing global issues, social justice, environmental concerns, and religious harmony. It has played a role in shaping interfaith dialogue, advocating for religious freedom, and encouraging positive social change. It continues to be a significant gathering for those interested in promoting harmony and cooperation among different religious communities.
Several of the speakers this year will be speaking or giving workshops on Environmental Justice and/or combatting climate change, in addition to defending freedom, human rights, and religious freedom for all, regardless of religious path (or none) in this age or rising authoritarianism.
One of the reasons I wanted to highlight this is not just because I think it’s such a worthy convention. It’s because of some of the speakers. Nancy Pelosi is going to a speaker, as will Jane Goodall. These are but two of many, many vital speakers. When I read those two names, in addition to a couple of the Pagan authors whose books were in my personal library, I wanted so badly to attend. Unfortunately, the cost of the 5-day event, plus air-fare and hotel put the event completely outside my budget. But I did want to highlight Speaker Pelosi’s attendance, especially at an event that is not necessarily political in nature. I would have loved to have gone just to shake her hand and tell her “thank you” for all she did!
If anyone is interested in checking out the website, here’s the link:
https://parliamentofreligions.org/parliament/2023-chicago/
I've just started having a problem on DU,
and wondered if anyone else has seen something similar.
If I go to reply to a message... I don't get the "hand" and I can't reply to that message. It's not a replyable "link" for me, IOW. I CAN reply to the thread by hitting "reply" at the end of all the messages. That still works.
I managed to reply to one message (maybe two messages) all day. None of the others I wanted to reply to, even those who have replied to a message of mine, have worked, however. I'm about to give it up for the day and go to bed. I've been so busy all week, and today has just been a continuation of that... I thought at one point it was the Universe's way of helping me avoid making a "mistake" (gryn).
But then I wondered if anyone else was having the same issue. Understand, if you reply, I probably won't be able to answer you (gryn). Tomorrow, I'm going to tear down my machine and do a thorough clean off of programs/apps and browser add-ons, as well as an intensive check for any malware that games might have slipped on via ads. I use IOBIT everyday, so normally I don't have any issues. It keeps my system pretty darned clean and up to date. But it never hurts to do an intensive scan every so often.
I'm also on the search for a good desktop email program, other than Thunderbird, which has a calendar app, and can import my email/folder setup from an existing webmail account. Thunderbird would fit the bill great, IF it could connect reliably to my Spectrum webmail (it can't). I'm open to suggestions, if you have a favorite!
Thanks, you guys! I'm off to bed, now! Think I'll binge Manifest again!
Hea... sorry to everyone at DU
that I might have offended with my rants tonight. Maybe it's how disconnected I feel to the 4th of July this year. How disgruntled and enraged I am at the way SCOTUS has been changing civil rights, killing (at least for me) 50 years of hard work.
Maybe it's because so much "law" is being tossed aside to placate the loudest and basest among America's citizens; or maybe it's because I see all of this "terraforming" (laying out the foundation) for a country that none of us is going to want to live in. And maybe it's because I think if the Magas and the billionaires don't like our country, maybe THEY should have moved out here and found a country that more closely aligned with their belief systems. I hear Russia is needing a lot of workers...
Maybe it's because I'm sick and tired of seeing people whom I know barely have 2 nickels to rub together, somehow come home with arms full of fireworks. Why don't they just stick a $100 bill in the fire and watch it burn up. Accomplishes much the same thing. There sure isn't anything to celebrate, AFAIC. But then, I'm of 1/2 of the population who got told that we aren't capable of deciding what's right for our own bodies... and sitting here fuming... waiting for the other shoes to drop. These people started shooting off firecrackers and M80s (or whatever they call the bomb-sounding firecrackers) two days ago.
I've had two days/nights with 5 of my 9 cats terrified and plastered on the ceiling (figuratively speaking), and one big dog who wants to go back "walksies" and with whom I don't dare. He took off running once before, when I first brought him home, and ended up breaking my leg. That was the first "walk" on a leash we did. He's either running scared into my bedroom when the overly loud "booms" come, or he's pestering me for a walk. And I forgot to get him his calmative this year; I was too into getting my cat's lifesaving medicine and completely forgot about my poor Lexy. Besides, at this point, *I* need a calmative!!!! LOL!!
So, if I've spouted off to anyone in my replies, please don't take it personally. It definitely wasn't meant that way, I promise you. We all have a point of breaking, and I reached mine tonight. Like I said in one of my messages, it'll probably mean a lively BBQ tomorrow with a large number of political friends. And they're very used to my "passionate" nature... and yet, they still love me. Thank goodness!
I wish you all a very happy 4th, however you spend it. If you can find a way to celebrate, despite all that's happened since 2016, go for it.
If, like me, you're down enough to see the end of our country and no one with power standing up and doing anything about it. Basically feeling like the PTB that ought to be on our side are ignoring us. Then I hope you have someone to spend the day with. Good friends with whom to share a meal and good conversation.
Critters around you to comfort and care for. And let them comfort you.
Again, I sincerely apologize for my ranting... please forgive me.
I'm so frustrated, I'm nearly in tears...
For months now, I've been worried sick about the damnable debt ceiling and whether or not we'd have a social security check come June, and for how long we'd be without one. My "retirement money" went towards buying a house outright so we'd at least have four walls and a roof over our heads and not be homeless during our elder years. But we have cats, a dog, and ourselves to feed and the usual multitude of medications now that we're both old to pay for and worry about. On top of that, hubby has had four (mild) heart attacks, I have fibromyalgia, lupus, and severe back problems. We also work with my sister to support our mother who's in a memory care home. Rather than a nice, calm retirement... thanks to Trump and the damned magats (who've been in power since my retirement), it's been anything but calm and peaceful.
I've seen every bit of progress I fought for in my youth for women, young people, and minorities stripped from us in the last few years and hate grow by leaps and bounds. When I was 18 and sought to become a preacher, I was laughed out of the Baptist church where I'd made my inquiries because I was female, although I had a strong background and foundation of religious education. Knowing what I wanted to do in my heart, and not being driven by money (as in, not being concerned with that being my "career path," I started studying different world religions until I found one that fit my internal belief system and soon became initiated into the Craft of the Wise (Wicca). I was about 20 at the time. Today, close to 50 years later, I'm seeing shades of the old Satanic Panic days beginning to rise once again, as well.
Over the last few days, it looked like a debt ceiling resolution was going to be accomplished without demolishing our economy and the world's economic foundations. I actually had the temerity to breathe a sigh of relief and start to make plans to take my car in for a checkup and an overhaul it has 236k miles on it). Also to make plans for material to expand the outside catio. And what do I see a few minutes ago? Kevin McCarthy once again talking commission about cutting Social Security and Medicare. Social Security needs to be increased per month for most of us, not cut. Most of us do not get SNAP or any other benefits; we make do with budgeting on just our SS checks. The COLA isn't figured correctly for the elderly. Our needs and how our money gets spent is different from other age groups, and yet our COLA is figured as though we're 35 years old and our buying habits are the same as a middle ager. We often are care givers for our even older parents and yet are not recognized or helped with that, and many (if not most) of us are trapped in Red States that have stripped what little state aid there was for elder care of any kind. Note: I live in Brownbackistan and it's like night and day here after they came to power. I figure it's much the same in the other states where the R's took over. The care programs and $$$ available dried up and went to the rich and powerful instead of to the elderly and caregivers where it was needed. Now McCarthy is making noises about stripping away even more money that we paid into our retirement insurance accounts all our lives. These are Entitlement Accounts with a capital letters. They are not dirty labels, as the R's make them out to be.
They are Entitlement Accounts because it is OUR money because we worked and paid into the accounts with our own earned income. I realize that "Earned Income" is probably a mysterious concept to most Republicans. They make most of their money in unearned income, which is taxed less (and is absolutely backwards in taxation, AFAIC). Republicans also consider it to be "dirty money" because it is "social money"... it isn't put into an account under your own singular name to draw from, like an IRA. And, while they've stolen from that pot of money for themselves quite generously through the years, they've never paid back the IOU's, and never even mentioned the IOU's exist. And Lord knows, they won't do what needs to be done to correct the IOU issue... which is to raise the income cap.
And so I sit here nearly in tears at the frustration of it all. They won't be satisfied until they once again see the elderly homeless on the streets or starving once again. I remember those days... it wasn't that long ago. My parent's generation is the only generation that hasn't had to worry (much) about Social Security being there. My generation got scammed with Medicare Advantage. But at least there's being some eyes turned towards that scam now. But is it going to take a resurgence of the Grey Panthers to fight McCarthy and the R's on Social Security cuts and to try to get the cap raised? Why aren't the younger generations fighting mad about this? Is it because they're acquiescing on this issue because so much else is wrong with the U.S.? Or because it's so far in their future they feel it just doesn't affect them?
I actually am, literally, sick and tired of all this bullcrap. I've worked in paid employment since I was 13 years old. I'm 67 now. I was forced into retirement at 62 because of disability. Rather than swallow a handful or two of pills and shake off this mortal coil of pain and disillusionment, I'd like to spend what years I have left in some form of peace and love with the friends I have left here on this plane of existence. Right now, we're all worried about how we're going to eat and afford our medication for our chronic illnesses, and how we're going to feed all our cats (no jokes, please!). Life, especially at this age, should not be reduced to this. I would say "This isn't fair"... but it just brings up the old "Life isn't fair" adage my dad drummed into me from a very early age. But really, when you've lived your life ethically, legally, and morally correct to the best of your ability all your life and you've done your best to help those around you when they've needed help, regardless of your own circumstances, neither you nor anyone else your age should have to worry about what tomorrow will bring because of a political party of Deatheaters.
I don't know what the answer is... at least, not that anyone would listen to, anyway. The easy answer is to raise the damned income cap on Social Security. It is now and always has been set too low, especially when you consider SS is available for everyone who meets the minimum work requirements. And the higher your earnings the higher your SS check. But god help us if we tax the rich equitably. I guess the damned sky would fall in or something...
So excuse the rant and ravings of an old woman. I know I have it better than many others, and I am grateful to be as blessed as I am. But no one should be reduced to fearing for their next meal, no matter what their age; and no one should be scared of losing their house or their medical care, especially when their memory is failing and they have trouble reasoning things out as they once did.
Under the best of circumstances, old age is not for the feint of heart.
I'm at my wit's end this week.
It's been up and down with temps and rain, and I know that's the main thing that brings on my fibromyalgia pain. But I've never had it this bad before. Imagine breaking your bone, and that's what my joints feel like. Earlier this week, it was every main joint in my body, both sides. I've managed to hang in there and it's down to being one side of my body screaming at me the most now... my right. It's so bad, I even googled to make sure I wasn't missing something important, like a stroke or something.
I'm not in a pot-ok state, and my hydrocodone meds weren't even taking the edge off this. Besides, I'm close enough to the "end of the month" that I'm afraid I'll have more month than pills at this point. I did take a sneak over to the state next to me and found a salve that I thought was the answer to all my prayers.
Within minutes of applying it to any hot spot that hot spot was hot no more... as long as it was a hot spot of pain caused by sciatica, scoliosis, or osteoarthritis. It even managed to kill the minor fibro pain. But even it can't keep up with the stuff going on right now. I'm a believer, and before this hit, was advocating for getting it legalized here. Legalization should be one of those no-question "duh" responses from anyone, especially after what I experienced. Keeping it illegal is keeping people in pain when they could be living lives without pain... and without any effects of smoking it. Gods... people can be so cruel by being so damned self-righteous.
Pain scales don't take into account this level of pain I have right now, and I have nothing in my repertoire to counteract it. I'm reaching out to anyone here on DU with chronic physical pain, no matter the reason, for help. The only thing else I've been doing is knocking myself out with tylenol PM to try to stay unconscious as much as possible. I'm not asking for expert help... but I know all of us chronic pain sufferers have our "tricks and ways" we use to try to beat back the worst of it. I'm just up against the point where I've been through everything in my book... and reaching out to try anything else. We have more rain coming in tonight.
Thank you...
So often, when we post here,
it's either a picture of a new family member or one we've rescued. And yes... I am SO jealous of you who can post pics. I just can't seem to make it work for me!
The other reason, unfortunately, is to mourn a family member who has passed. I thought that's what I'd be doing this weekend, and to say I was panicking, heartsick, and at wit's end is to state an understatement.
I have a very tiny cat I rescued from a kill pound 20 years ago. She's a Japanese Bobtail (not a Manx). She's four pounds of spit and thunder with a puffball. While you can never put a price on such things, with her convoluted colon, we've spent thousands keeping her healthy and her colon flowing freely. And every penny, even those we scraped together, were given gratefully to the talented vet we'd been with for years. Izzie was that special to us.
Don't get me wrong, all my babies are special to me. Last year at this time, I lost 2 who were over 20 (one was 23) and another to a diabetic crisis in space of 3 months. I thought they were going to have to help ME over the Rainbow Bridge. Especially because of the one I lost to diabetes.
But when I had my hip replaced and was working from home, Izzie spent 8 hours a day laying across my arms while I worked on the computer. Then she led me to bed to lay down. When I worked the stairs during rehab, she was right there with me for every step.
The last two weeks, she's changed from being with us in the Family Room to staying exclusively on my bed. This past Monday, she didn't wake up when I did. I admit I poked her hard until she raised her head quite disgustedly at me. I should say she is now deaf as a post. Day before yesterday she sat herself in front of my shower while I was in there. She's never done anything like that... EVER before. I just knew I was on the last days with her, and was so heartbroken. But the day before, when she had gone into a coughing fit, I made an emergency appt with the vet here that I trust in this little town, and they fit me the next day.
We ran blood labs and x-rays. Izzie's got thyroid problems we're treating and the treatment is going well. Her lab numbers, even for her kidneys are great, I'm happy to say. She was a little dehydrated, so they gave her intravenous fluids, and then I told them to take her back for X-rays. It means I'm going to be scrimping a bit for a while, but the peace of mind they gave me made up for it. They showed NO masses anywhere in her little body. Her lungs are good, no masses in her stomach, and even her colon is good (which my hubby was thrilled with!). We're thinking now her coughing fit might have been either because of the dry heated winter air in the house (especially my bedroom), or even the fur from the other cats. There are at least 6 who sleep each night on the bed.
So... instead of writing an "in memoriam"... I'm writing a "Hallelujah! Bast be praised!" This little black puff ball cat that stole our hearts is not ready to give up yet, even at the ripe old Queen's age of 20, and her Mama ain't ready to give up on her, either. She's spoiled rotten, and will continue to be so for as long as she'll let me. Besides, she spent all last night curled in my arms around my neck while we both slept. How much more peace can there be at night for one person? To love and know you're loved just as much in return.
I only wish I could post a pic. (sigh)
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Gender: Do not displayHometown: Kansas
Home country: USA
Current location: Kansas
Member since: Mon Dec 14, 2020, 10:27 AM
Number of posts: 2,787