It's alright.
I'm right there with you. Your anxiety and misery have plenty of company.
Concentrate on your dogs and goats. I hope they return very soon.
Don't worry about the reciprocating saw. I've been cut by tools a million times, but never once with a reciprocating saw. Not once. The blade just plunges back and forth, and it is self-limiting. It doesn't spin. The blade stops as soon as you release the trigger. Just pay attention to where the blade will fall once you complete the cut. Very easy. You'll be fine. EDIT: make sure your gloves are not too loose fitting so you have good control of the trigger.
Don't sweat your IG account. If you don't get occasionally banned from somewhere, you're not doing it right!
Better days are coming.
Hang in there! 
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