my niece gets all the care she will always need. She is very developmentally disabled, but my sister's husband or husband's family will need to deal with that however it plays out. My mother requested no contact and, tired of her mixed messages, I obeyed her request over 30 years ago; my siblings took her side. Dad did too and left all to Mom on his passing. My brother never left home his whole life and made a deal with dad for free rent if he'd take care of mom. He did work at a comfortable living wage, lived frugally, never married, maintained the family home, and still managed to amass his own vehicles, savings, and assets. He and dad disinherited me and grandchildren in 2012 and hid the wills in the probate vault (revealed on-line upon their deaths); mom changed hers after a stroke at the age of 92 that put her in a care facility; when she had a second one she found herself across the hall from dear brother in hospice and chose, so I'm told, not to eat or drink so she didn't have to watch my brother die as well. He was dying of advanced NASH (liver disease), diabetes, and pancreatic cancer; nothing could be done about his LW&T of 2012 but he wanted to reconcile, I guess, to at least save his soul. Caretaker stress surely causes disease/death. I was happy to oblige (silly me thought it was authentic). Mom changed her will on St. Patrick's day, hand-written, (she didn't know the date, just the day, but it was legally witnessed) that made sure I was clearly disinherited while in care, without so much as a mention. I'll never know if encephalopathy was a diagnosed problem, but I do believe that my sister convinced my brother that a new LW&T would not be valid. I think my sister would have fought any changes dear brother would have tried to make because he wasn't of sound mind any longer(?) in order to change what he had previously made so clear in 2012...so "fierce mama" sister got it all last year - the family home, cars, furnishings, investment dollars, and cash, a pretty penny. To save my sanity and further drama with my sister--she was rather clear that me and the other grandchildren deserved nothing because mine were healthy and her daughter was not--I won't further try any reconciliation with her, my niece, or her husband...She never let me know when, day or time, he was to be interred--"it was quick," and didn't bother to speak with me at either of their funerals 3+ months apart, he at age 64. Even the pastor didn't name me or my kids as survivors. I suspect I'm lucky she even let me know mom and brother were both dying. I did my grieving for them all long ago, but the hurt remains. It was hard to believe they were registered Democrats...both fundie christians at the right-hand of Gawd, and an agnostic.
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