It hurts me to say this ...

[EYESORE 9001]

2. My pride has always been mixed with shame

Early in elementary school, the office sold pencils with small American flags printed on them. A phrase following the flag ran along the length of the pencil: America - Best Place on Earth. Even then, I thought that sentiment was chauvinistic, which was difficult to describe without words like ‘chauvinistic’ in my vocabulary yet. I remember wondering whether kids in other countries had similarly-emblazoned pencils touting their own countries’ superiority.

My cynicism hasn’t abated since then. Over time, I came to view American accomplishments as having been achieved in spite of forces at work to eliminate democracy itself. I came to view wealth and power with suspicion, realizing that I am valued only as long as I shoulder the yoke for their wealth-extraction mechanism.

I’m still proud of certain American accomplishments, such as ending slavery and defeatiing fascist enemies, but in retrospect we didn’t do enough. Corporate entities secretly salivate over operating within a system where slavery or fascism would make their lives easier. I’d be far more proud of living in a nation where greed isn’t a societal value.