General Discussion

NNadir

(34,814 posts)

20. How horrible. My father - who was pretty right wing - told me his father was this kind of guy, and thus my father...

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu Oct 3, 2024, 08:44 PM

Oct 3

...could not and would not tolerate a lack of respect for women. Having watched his mother live in terror until he was finally big and strong enough to kick his father out of the apartment forever, I guess - especially seeing some of the comments in this thread - I was very lucky to have been raised to respect women.

My father and I disagreed on politics, often vehemently, but we agreed as to husbands should treat wives, how boyfriends should treat girlfriends, and so on.

Strangely - I'm not sure how this happened - my brother, from whom I am completely estranged, was a control freak with all of his wives, which when I last saw him 20 years ago, were three in number.

I don't know if there is something you could have done. It's pretty damned horrible.

When my sister-in-law was being abused, it was very hard to get anything done, and she was family. (Happily I'd like to think I had something, if only a tiny bit, to do with getting her out of that situation.)

Thank you for at least caring; for at least being greatly disturbed and shaken by it.

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Attilatheblond Dem2theMax raging moderate byronius dchill Dixc CaliforniaPeggy love_katz Judi Lynn japple raccoon DemonGoddess madwivoter ProfessorGAC

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Highlight:

Watched a sickening drama unfold at a local grocery store the other evening. [View all] Midnight Writer Oct 3 OP

This gives me chills. Reminds me of my father. no_hypocrisy Oct 3 #1

So sorry MFM008 Oct 5 #104

Yeah, my recovery is in daily increments. no_hypocrisy Oct 5 #105

Reminds me of my Dad. redstatebluegirl Oct 3 #2

Reminds me of my ex husband.. slightlv Oct 3 #44

I will never forget how my Mom would lock herself redstatebluegirl Oct 4 #95

It is a reality claudette Oct 3 #3

All maga hate all Women...period. They hate them more when they cant control them. Eliot Rosewater Oct 3 #4

permission? DonCoquixote Oct 3 #26

Thanks because I usually make that point also Eliot Rosewater Oct 4 #91

I refused to date MAGA females ArkansasDemocrat1 Oct 4 #96

No one should have to live like that.... anciano Oct 3 #5

The American Oligarches are gonna trample men, but figure if men can abuse women, they won't see the root problem Attilatheblond Oct 3 #23

Best I can do is have hope. dslyahoo Oct 5 #102

Just fucking awful. OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #6

Read a report from the 90s about reasons for women to be hospitalized Attilatheblond Oct 3 #25

I'm an old white guy, not close to being perfect.....but OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #28

Know, dear sir, that there are women who have known you & your type, and appreciated you for that. Attilatheblond Oct 3 #31

On line betting is an efficient way of draining bank accounts. OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #34

Online betting is terrifying. robbob Oct 4 #84

"We just wish more were aware of how many abusers there are." OldBaldy1701E Oct 4 #54

I mean yes, but I just do not think this is a pat on the back not hitting loved ones. LizBeth Oct 4 #76

When my weight dropped so drastically... slightlv Oct 3 #45

You are 100% correct! And did a VERY important think to help give a hand up for sisters we never met. Attilatheblond Oct 4 #68

Thank you for the kind words. slightlv Oct 4 #98

You are a dear and worthy person and we all benefit from you sharing your experiences and lessons learned Attilatheblond Oct 5 #100

Reminds me of my first husband. mountain grammy Oct 3 #7

Mine too, he spent alot of money on alcohol, but I wasn't allowed to spend $20 on groceries Clouds Passing Oct 3 #13

Yep me too mountain grammy Oct 3 #19

That brought me very close to being physically sick. Think. Again. Oct 3 #8

This is why I like reading Reddit. People in these abusive situations are talked into / supported into leaving. BlueWaveNeverEnd Oct 3 #16

Yes, leaving an abusive relationship requires a lot of planning. SunSeeker Oct 4 #52

Its abuse. Nt Figarosmom Oct 3 #9

Totally explains DownriverDem Oct 3 #10

Hope someone got her name and a way to help her. KS Toronado Oct 3 #11

This was how my father treated my mother. llmart Oct 3 #12

That's the way it was with abusive, alcoholic step father. canuckledragger Oct 3 #14

I'm sorry you had to live with that dflprincess Oct 3 #18

You described my mother. slightlv Oct 3 #46

This is my mother, too. murielm99 Oct 3 #48

It's really hard... especially now that slightlv Oct 4 #99

I am so sorry for all the posters above who experienced this in their lives. tavernier Oct 3 #15

Yeah I second that.nt jfz9580m Oct 4 #81

Thank heavens for an empathic and intelligent manager... hlthe2b Oct 3 #17

How horrible. My father - who was pretty right wing - told me his father was this kind of guy, and thus my father... NNadir Oct 3 #20

The country needs to take domestic abuse more seriously. Law enforcement needs to take it more seriously. Martin68 Oct 3 #21

I think men would be happier, too, if schools had SEL classes of some sort in grade school lostnfound Oct 3 #42

SEL is what we're supposed to learn in a good history class, social studies class, literature class, art class Martin68 Oct 4 #83

Women have to be more respected in society, as a whole, slightlv Oct 3 #47

How distressing. I'm glad the manager made the right call. No one should have to live (exist) in fear. LoisB Oct 3 #22

Just Saying: If a case came up on a docket, where a beaten wife finally did something in order.. chouchou Oct 3 #24

To all of you who escaped, thank you for saying so. I had a roommate once who had escaped... Hekate Oct 3 #27

I used to do the same thing. And one of the first things I would do when niyad Oct 3 #37

;-( elleng Oct 3 #29

And if there is any love there, he must deep down know how awful he is. SleeplessinSoCal Oct 3 #30

This is what Republicans intend when they laud "trad wives" dlk Oct 3 #32

Reading this turned my stomach.......my biological father was the same kind of louslobbs Oct 3 #33

My wife would just murder me. byronius Oct 3 #35

Sadly, she is not in the mental state to do that. She lives in fear and terror. niyad Oct 3 #40

I had a plan as a child to grow up and get out. cpamomfromtexas Oct 4 #70

She may have kids. RandomNumbers Oct 5 #101

What in the first post identifies the controlling husband as MAGA? Aussie105 Oct 3 #36

Not "controlling". Abusive. And, yes, SOME women are DV perps, but not niyad Oct 3 #41

That is heartbreaking. OverBurn Oct 3 #38

That is sickening. Can't imagine how bad it can be. LiberalFighter Oct 3 #39

Trauma, secrets, lies, and neglect become transgenerational - add religious fundamentalism and authoritarianism, Backseat Driver Oct 4 #58

All that tells me about men like that is how PUNY they are, deep down inside. calimary Oct 3 #43

Smells like a religious extremist husband to me. roamer65 Oct 4 #49

D9nt make a mistake. Sometimes you dont even know if you do. MerryBlooms Oct 4 #50

I finally had to divorce my ex and the father of my kids. CTyankee Oct 4 #51

You just know he's beating the crap out of her when he gets mad. brush Oct 4 #53

An insecure bully who at his core is just a coward augyboston Oct 4 #55

Way back before the Y2K stuff came along, I was on a "prepper" forum. I liked to read the stories members wrote, mostly. mucholderthandirt Oct 4 #56

Never saw my parents exchange cruel words. Aussie105 Oct 4 #57

I bet the woman really appreciated the Thoughts & Prayers you sent Kaleva Oct 4 #59

This thread was not aimed at the young woman, and you know it. Tthere is not niyad Oct 4 #60

You can tell how a person feels about an event by how they respond to it Kaleva Oct 4 #61

Nice deflection, but it won't work. niyad Oct 4 #63

What would you have done in that situation. Kaleva Oct 4 #64

see post 63 niyad Oct 4 #66

A great non answer Kaleva Oct 4 #74

Keep trying. I truly need the laughs. niyad Oct 4 #75

How would Linda ladeewolf Oct 4 #71

Like I said, keep the one she mistakenly bought Kaleva Oct 4 #72

JFC, that post indicates absolutely NO comprehension, either of the post niyad Oct 4 #78

Are you advocating non-involvement? Kaleva Oct 4 #89

REMDI95 niyad Oct 4 #93

I'll take that as an affirmative then? Kaleva Oct 4 #97

MAGA want American Taliban IronLionZion Oct 4 #62

Man.. jfz9580m Oct 4 #65

You have been most fortunate if you have never encountered them. niyad Oct 4 #77

I have been lucky in that regard jfz9580m Oct 4 #79

Good on you jfz9580m Oct 4 #82

Around 1980 I was working in PA town. A woman shoved a knife through her husbands chest and he, well, died. twodogsbarking Oct 4 #67

That's unusual Warpy Oct 4 #85

Truly a sad, but daily tale of woe. 634-5789 Oct 4 #69

I'm surprised he let her out of the house without him, twice MorbidButterflyTat Oct 4 #73

They have to allow you to make mistakes so they have a "reason" to beat you. Maru Kitteh Oct 4 #88

Awful ProfessorGAC Oct 4 #80

I'd like drop her husband with baseball bat therapy Duncanpup Oct 4 #86

That was my ex-husband. I was severely beaten without warning. Maru Kitteh Oct 4 #87

Alas. Not limited to MAGA types ewest02 Oct 4 #90

Very true! I know of one abuser who is very leftist, into social justice, etc. Coventina Oct 4 #94

How terrible. I know that Thoughts and Prayers ran through my mind, as I read these, and it does. God, how my SWBTATTReg Oct 4 #92

Thank you for posting this account LetMyPeopleVote Oct 5 #103

This is a domestic abuse situation iemanja Oct 7 #106