Nope. No misandry on DU. (Reply #92) - Democratic Underground

In the discussion thread: Lots of blame for the Mother. Apparently Dad's off the hook , though, [View all]

Response to elehhhhna (Original post)

Sun Dec 16, 2012, 03:04 PM

lumberjack_jeff (33,224 posts)

92. Nope. No misandry on DU.

You're right. Dad is off the hook, because he's not the one to blame.

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208 replies	Author	Time	Post
Lots of blame for the Mother. Apparently Dad's off the hook , though, [View all]	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	OP
Well, your statement there doesn't sound quite fair......	Joe the Revelator	Dec 2012	#1
Whatever is the truth, she looks very human, like us	Voice for Peace	Dec 2012	#207
From what I read, she initiated the divorce.	Laurian	Dec 2012	#2
I wish someone would "abandon" me to the tune of $250K per year	jberryhill	Dec 2012	#23
!!!! sounds good to me too	Voice for Peace	Dec 2012	#204
From what I read, she initiated the divorce after he was caught cheating	krawhitham	Dec 2012	#68
Oops, sorry. I hadn't heard the cheating part.	Laurian	Dec 2012	#76
Right, Dad is never responsible for anything in these scenarios	Warpy	Dec 2012	#3
well, personally I'm going with what the people who knew her have said	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#32
Thank you for this	Saboburns	Dec 2012	#38
As-Salamu Alayka	grantcart	Dec 2012	#142
It's anger	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#146
So true. The survival, primitive part of the human brain does this	WCLinolVir	Dec 2012	#179
That's an interesting way to look at it	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#196
This is why the President said "today is not the day ..."	Bake	Dec 2012	#190
Exactly	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#195
You know why people do this...	Kalidurga	Dec 2012	#40
stop reading my mind	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#51
It's all about	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#147
That makes a lot of sense.	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#156
it's been tough here the last few days.	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#198
Not on DU it isn't	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#178
I was with you all the way through this thread	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#197
Really?	renie408	Dec 2012	#200
Exactly.....	sendero	Dec 2012	#140
his mother told the male bbsitter to never leave Adam in a room by himself.	grasswire	Dec 2012	#46
and it seems to mean that as a youth	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#69
Autism or Aspberger's do not cause one not to feel physical pain. Depression can make one feel numb	Michigan Alum	Dec 2012	#134
I wasn't talking about Autism or Asperger's	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#141
Did not know he had congenital analgesia..... haven't seen that mentioned anywhere.	Michigan Alum	Dec 2012	#191
I agree - the babysitter left out that tidbit - or the reporter did.	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#157
We have no proof this was ever said	obamanut2012	Dec 2012	#173
Excellent points.	JohnnyLib2	Dec 2012	#53
Finally...	OneMoreDemocrat	Dec 2012	#54
Your Username is perfect with this post. I thank you for your drop of reason in this sea of madness	KittyWampus	Dec 2012	#56
Juvenile records are sealed by law...	Sedona	Dec 2012	#60
well he certainly showed no violent tendencies	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#81
Exactly, thank you for making my point.	Sedona	Dec 2012	#89
so back we go to that common sense thing	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#100
So we should assume he did?	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#149
Let's not assume he didn't = Let's assume he did.	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#159
The mother used horrible judgment in keeping a lot of guns around a mentally disturbed son.	Arugula Latte	Dec 2012	#61
what sort of mental disturbance?	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#94
His brother sure seemed to know. Bet Dad knew, too, and was helpless to change things.	Nay	Dec 2012	#110
And what has Ryan actually SAID?	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#137
Why are you spinning a tale? How about stick to the facts that we have. nt	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#161
Because he/she is a Nay-sayer (look at the username).	MiddleFingerMom	Dec 2012	#164
Actually, it's because I have a very long name that my baby brother could not say, and "Nay"	Nay	Dec 2012	#202
His brother has said no such thing	obamanut2012	Dec 2012	#174
Here's what Ryan Lanza said, as reported in the UK Daily Mail....	Nay	Dec 2012	#199
I add my Thank You also.	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#71
I also want to thank you	Mojorabbit	Dec 2012	#108
Very well said	Riftaxe	Dec 2012	#125
He did have an "altercation" with four office staff at the school. Sounds serious to	Flabbergasted	Dec 2012	#127
No he didn't	TorchTheWitch	Dec 2012	#133
I haven't had time to read the threads you refer to but I thinkyou are correct. There is only one	grantcart	Dec 2012	#143
Thank you for this	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#145
Thank you! I am so sick of the 'holier than thou s'	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#155
Very well stated. nt.	OldDem2012	Dec 2012	#160
Why did she need assault weapons?	louis c	Dec 2012	#169
thank you -- this	obamanut2012	Dec 2012	#172
Why weren't the guns locked up?	brush	Dec 2012	#175
FWIW the "survivalist" part is not just DU	yellowcanine	Dec 2012	#176
There's a ton of articles saying this - her sister was the one who reported this.	Michigan Alum	Dec 2012	#194
this picture	Voice for Peace	Dec 2012	#205
They were married for 28 years	BeyondGeography	Dec 2012	#4
She initiated the divorce.	ananda	Dec 2012	#5
Well, we don't know everything. But the mom kept the firearms, right?	NYC_SKP	Dec 2012	#6
details, shmeetails.	joeunderdog	Dec 2012	#27
The devil is in the details, which some don't	arthritisR_US	Dec 2012	#44
Even that is not clear	ProgressiveProfessor	Dec 2012	#124
The guns belonged to the mother. And they were some pretty scary guns.	Chorophyll	Dec 2012	#7
I read in several places that she initiated the divorce	mentalsolstice	Dec 2012	#8
This was exactly my take on it, too. He was already giving her more alimony than was required,	Nay	Dec 2012	#12
most of which is entirely speculative on your part	HiPointDem	Dec 2012	#117
All of this is speculative at this point	ProgressiveProfessor	Dec 2012	#123
Of course it is. I am not a reporter writing a story, or an author writing a book. I am just	Nay	Dec 2012	#201
In one article I read, the older brother Ryan had not had contact with his younger	amandabeech	Dec 2012	#129
Yes, that book was chilling and this tragedy reminds me of it as well. n/t	Inspired	Dec 2012	#33
There is far too much we don't, and may never, know about their family dynamic	Siwsan	Dec 2012	#9
Does anyone know if the father shared in the love of guns?	Hoyt	Dec 2012	#10
he was a gun owner as well. reports were the "entire family" used to go to shooting range together	bettyellen	Dec 2012	#14
Thanks. Exactly what I thought -- kid was brought up in gun culture.	Hoyt	Dec 2012	#21
yeah, I think they are being a bit unfair to the mom for sticking it out. parents have few options	bettyellen	Dec 2012	#30
Mom was in bed in her pajamas	No Vested Interest	Dec 2012	#128
I hope she never knew.	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#163
Mom kept guns in the house	kiva	Dec 2012	#11
And that's really where the rubber meets the road	Floyd_Gondolli	Dec 2012	#45
The landscaper who knew the mother said that she had a lot of bad things to say	undeterred	Dec 2012	#13
i know he was very generous with alimony, but he was also a gun enthusiast	bettyellen	Dec 2012	#17
Personally, I blame the son more than either the mother or father.	egduj	Dec 2012	#15
Color me kooky as well	Saboburns	Dec 2012	#41
I must be kooky also	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#77
We are all a product of our childhoods to some degree...	cynatnite	Dec 2012	#16
Started "a new one" with another woman, I presume.	Eleanors38	Dec 2012	#18
You certainly do...	regnaD kciN	Dec 2012	#130
Well, he could have married a man. Odds are, though...nc	Eleanors38	Dec 2012	#180
What the ever loving fuck are you talking about. Seriously.	Marinedem	Dec 2012	#19
Parenthood outlasts marriage.	undeterred	Dec 2012	#22
So?	Marinedem	Dec 2012	#29
I guess the proof is in the body count.	undeterred	Dec 2012	#37
You're a shitty guesser	Shivering Jemmy	Dec 2012	#57
Yeah, and you're a genius.	undeterred	Dec 2012	#115
I thought that both the brother and father said they hadn't spoken to Adam in years.	Michigan Alum	Dec 2012	#135
I agree.	undeterred	Dec 2012	#144
Bravo	Saboburns	Dec 2012	#42
Responsibility for safety issues of the former spouse's personal property,	kestrel91316	Dec 2012	#83
Did he fail to secure firearms used in a mass murder?	jberryhill	Dec 2012	#20
She filed for divorce	WolverineDG	Dec 2012	#24
"Abandoned"? What a pig-ignorant post. nt	Codeine	Dec 2012	#25
Please describe how Peter Lanza...	ChisolmTrailDem	Dec 2012	#26
Cheated. Nt	IdaBriggs	Dec 2012	#153
Really????	RetroLounge	Dec 2012	#28
Hit & Run OP too. eom	ChisolmTrailDem	Dec 2012	#36
been here for years. hardly a hit/run poster	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#91
Hit & run posting has nothing to do with how long you've been here...	ChisolmTrailDem	Dec 2012	#99
the first sentence of the OP alludes to the point	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#103
wise up.	GeorgeGist	Dec 2012	#31
Way to elevate the discussion. Not.	cherokeeprogressive	Dec 2012	#34
Well, that is the usual.	Jamastiene	Dec 2012	#35
In a gun case I'd usually place the blame on the father	xmas74	Dec 2012	#90
Yeah. When she kicks him out of the house and cashes the $250,000 annual alimony check.	lumberjack_jeff	Dec 2012	#93
It is easier to smear the dead.	Union Scribe	Dec 2012	#39
Probably because they were apparently HER guns, left unlocked. nt	Lex	Dec 2012	#43
An Absent Dad Is Never Good	otohara	Dec 2012	#47
wow, are you not a deep thinker. You know people get divorced, right?	Logical	Dec 2012	#48
That is how it always goes.	redqueen	Dec 2012	#49
Well, he did live with his mom and it was her guns used.	tammywammy	Dec 2012	#66
No	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#82
What about the gun access?	brush	Dec 2012	#177
Again,	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#192
You're ignoring the obvious	brush	Dec 2012	#193
There is not enough information	Dorian Gray	Dec 2012	#150
Abadoned his 'first' family?	one_voice	Dec 2012	#50
Um, from Newtown to Stamford is like less than an hour away.	Jennicut	Dec 2012	#52
Careful	Floyd_Gondolli	Dec 2012	#55
Exactly. They were only divorced three years ago.	redqueen	Dec 2012	#59
Does blaming anyone make anyone seriously feel better?	Live and Learn	Dec 2012	#58
Maybe after the guns began stacking up he feared for his own safety?	NNN0LHI	Dec 2012	#62
This is complete Bullshit.	mn9driver	Dec 2012	#63
this is not about you	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#67
That's right. The thread is about Mr. Lanza, who no one here knows anything about. /nt	mn9driver	Dec 2012	#75
this thread is actually about people blaming the mother	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#84
That would be why you started it like this:	mn9driver	Dec 2012	#88
we have an ignore feature. use it.	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#97
Heh. I think I'll retain the ability to view and rebut.	mn9driver	Dec 2012	#102
Some states recognize that women are owed an equitable distribution of the assets, not just the	msanthrope	Dec 2012	#189
Exactly	customerserviceguy	Dec 2012	#73
Well you beat me there	NNN0LHI	Dec 2012	#79
Hey MN9driver	Puglover	Dec 2012	#203
I am not sure blaming anyone is the answer, but that's what people do.	Avalux	Dec 2012	#64
I am seeing a lot of evidence that his mother did love and care for him.	Chemisse	Dec 2012	#165
Don't ever let a ...	99Forever	Dec 2012	#65
I do not blame either one.	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#70
Reasons for the divorce aside	customerserviceguy	Dec 2012	#72
Enough with the blame. How about some solutions for a change.	Starboard Tack	Dec 2012	#74
+1000	Sissyk	Dec 2012	#85
+2000 nt	Live and Learn	Dec 2012	#106
We're ALL to blame?	99Forever	Dec 2012	#107
Yes I did mean it. And it should offend. We need to be offended.	Starboard Tack	Dec 2012	#109
How am I to blame?	99Forever	Dec 2012	#112
Because you are also a member of society.	Starboard Tack	Dec 2012	#113
What utter hogwash.	99Forever	Dec 2012	#118
It's OK. We're on the same side.	Starboard Tack	Dec 2012	#122
You're a hypocrite.	tedzbear	Dec 2012	#151
When I say we are all to blame, I mean as a society we are all to blame.	Starboard Tack	Dec 2012	#182
She supplied the weapons of mass destruction. nt	valerief	Dec 2012	#78
To me, that really is	amuse bouche	Dec 2012	#171
In what way did the father have control over the mother's	kestrel91316	Dec 2012	#80
Wow just wow	Drew Richards	Dec 2012	#86
and thy shall know them by their spelling	elehhhhna	Dec 2012	#98
"THY shall know them by their spelling"...?	regnaD kciN	Dec 2012	#131
Well, she was a she. What more do we need?	Egalitarian Thug	Dec 2012	#87
Nope. No misandry on DU.	lumberjack_jeff	Dec 2012	#92
As the poster of the op that started this...	Warren Stupidity	Dec 2012	#166
Try this one on for size. If custody had been awarded to dad, maybe this wouldn't have happened.	lumberjack_jeff	Dec 2012	#95
Sounds like dad left all that "old-family" trouble behind--wonder if he kept	TwilightGardener	Dec 2012	#96
How do you know he abandoned them. I wouldn't say 28 yr married is abandment.	southernyankeebelle	Dec 2012	#101
Dad was cheating, hence the divorce. Nt	IdaBriggs	Dec 2012	#154
There are tons of people who cheat on spouses but it doesn't lead to a 20 yr old	southernyankeebelle	Dec 2012	#158
He "abandoned" the marriage by cheating.	IdaBriggs	Dec 2012	#170
Do you have a link for that claim? n/t	Fumesucker	Dec 2012	#181
At least one link in one of the half a dozen	IdaBriggs	Dec 2012	#186
I've read a bunch of threads on this and haven't seen that	Fumesucker	Dec 2012	#187
Abandoned has a specific meaning in a divorce situation.	Warren Stupidity	Dec 2012	#167
i agree with your opinion also. Although divorice is very hard I don't think he just	southernyankeebelle	Dec 2012	#168
280,000/yr alimony == abandoned.	Warren Stupidity	Dec 2012	#183
Yep she was crying all the way to the bank.	southernyankeebelle	Dec 2012	#185
now let's mix some gender bashing into this wonderful event.....	spanone	Dec 2012	#104
Wow. That's a pretty desperate stretch. 2/10	leeroysphitz	Dec 2012	#105
I wish Mom had kept her impressive gun collection locked away (nt)	Nye Bevan	Dec 2012	#111
How do you know she didn't?	Common Sense Party	Dec 2012	#126
I betcha that was the reason for the divorce. He'd found himself a new sweetie. nt	raccoon	Dec 2012	#114
Yes, all men are evil philanderers	Floyd_Gondolli	Dec 2012	#116
That scenario happened to several people in my family. In one case, my family member	raccoon	Dec 2012	#120
As long as we're speaking anecdotally	Floyd_Gondolli	Dec 2012	#121
I betcha you don't know jack shit about what happened	regnaD kciN	Dec 2012	#132
doubt it	H2O Man	Dec 2012	#119
Emphatic K&R! But please do see my OP started in response to your	coalition_unwilling	Dec 2012	#136
i'm not letting him off the hook, i would like to hear more from him	JI7	Dec 2012	#138
He tried to atone for his cheating, at least	lbrtbell	Dec 2012	#139
"Daddy didn't give attention to the fact that mommy didn't care"	underpants	Dec 2012	#148
I've been thinking of that song and that video too...	IcyPeas	Dec 2012	#208
Does EVERY issue on DU have to boil down to the man v. woman thing?	joeunderdog	Dec 2012	#152
Amen! nt	raccoon	Dec 2012	#162
People do this after every shooting. It's not fair.	Dash87	Dec 2012	#184
Are you saying people should remain married forever no matter what?	Welcome_hubby	Dec 2012	#188
Or perhaps because when he left her he promised her she'd never have to work again?	Iris	Dec 2012	#206

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