The daughter of my friend's s/o was the victim in a murder/suicide yesterday

[Jilly_in_VA]

5. I am so sorry

This is the most dangerous time, when a person tries to leave a partner, particularly if they are abusive and/or have a gun. It's why domestic violence shelters don't publish their addresses.

Many years ago I helped a friend leave her abusive husband. Neither one of us had much money but I gave her what little I could. She drove to Knoxville and sold her car for cash, took a bus to California with her kids, and went under the radar. She couldn't even work as a nurse because her husband could have traced her by her license. I told her to contact me to let me know she was safe but not to let me know where she was in case he called me, so I could truthfully say I didn't know. He did call me a couple of times but I could tell him without lying that I didn't know where she was. I think she eventually was able to get a divorce but I really don't know. In any case, he eventually died of alcoholism.