Jo Jo from Jerz: 'I'm Fat and I'm Going to Hell.'

[hedda_foil]

3. The girl can WRITE!!

He’s trying to strong-arm his way into paradise. He says it so often you can tell he thinks if he repeats it enough, God will eventually roll His eyes and say, “Fine, fine, just don’t slap tariffs on Me.”

But here’s the truth: he’s terrified. He’s terrified of hell. He thinks if he jokes about it, if he says it out loud enough times, it’ll take away the sting. That maybe if he names the devil first, the devil can’t name him back. It’s the oldest Trump trick in the book — say the ugly thing before anyone else can and you win the room by default. But you can’t win this one.

This is the bullshit of Donald Trump. The man has never lived in reality. He’s spent his life building a funhouse of mirrors and calling it the world. Everything’s been negotiable for him: the truth, the law, even decency. But the final judgment isn’t a deposition. There’s no settlement check big enough. No billionaire buddy on the pearly gate committee.

And I think it’s hitting him. You can see it in his eyes, in the slur of his words, in the way his face droops like wet wallpaper. For the first time, the tools in his tainted toolbox — the lies, the money, the lawsuits, the shamelessness — are useless. They can’t get him out of this one. They can’t buy him eternity. They can’t spin divine consequence. His body is failing him and he’s running out of time.