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bettyellen

(47,209 posts)

21. oh, I know it does. but the guys were funny in that they appeared united against me...

Thu Jun 13, 2013, 03:27 PM

Jun 2013

palling around and banding against "the girl". Very open with schemes and criticism, that everyone was ratting out their mutiny (including my bosses and other reports) but they didn't realize that they were also stabbing each others' backs too.
I've had run ins with jerks of both sexes for sure, but these guys made it clear they didn't like a woman telling them what to do from day one.

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Why Women Are Bullies At Work [View all] FarCenter Jun 2013 OP

They're just calling attention to it because they don't want women in power. It is more acceptable liberal_at_heart Jun 2013 #1

I dunno. I've worked for both men and women..Give me a man anytime, the women..ugh. monmouth3 Jun 2013 #3

I'm sure your coworkers love you too! HangOnKids Jun 2013 #5

As a matter of fact, they did..n/t monmouth3 Jun 2013 #6

I've managed and trained both men and women, the guys would kiss my ass, then stab my back- and bettyellen Jun 2013 #15

I'm sure that it varies from company to company and from job type to job type Orrex Jun 2013 #19

oh, I know it does. but the guys were funny in that they appeared united against me... bettyellen Jun 2013 #21

Well, duh--you're just a girl! Orrex Jun 2013 #30

My first career was as a nurse (in the 1980s and 90s/ largely female) etherealtruth Jun 2013 #100

I've had good and bad examples from both genders, winter is coming Jun 2013 #135

Let's take your statement and substitute any ethnic or gender preference descriptor for "women:" Squinch Jun 2013 #150

So in your opinion its ok for women to be bullies because Drale Jun 2013 #8

That's what you got from the post you are responding to? Squinch Jun 2013 #78

who is "they" snooper2 Jun 2013 #39

Noticed this at my workplace LittleBlue Jun 2013 #2

Mine Too RobinA Jun 2013 #11

Agreed LittleBlue Jun 2013 #13

Huh ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #17

I work with a woman who tells me about all the secret fights at our office. tridim Jun 2013 #91

Even if you don't pass on the information, redqueen Jun 2013 #93

I know, I like talking to her though. It's a tradeoff. tridim Jun 2013 #104

Got one like that in my office LittleBlue Jun 2013 #123

Funny thing about this article... antigone382 Jun 2013 #98

Many times, women who rise through the ranks have "scores to settle", and may be harsher bosses SoCalDem Jun 2013 #4

Seems to me that would apply to either gender. LanternWaste Jun 2013 #7

It does, but there are fewer famales at the top, so they will remain "an intereting subset" SoCalDem Jun 2013 #10

So let me get this straight: you recognize that both genders do it, but you felt the Squinch Jun 2013 #130

i have my own office and report directly to ownership datasuspect Jun 2013 #9

I have experienced this at 2 of my jobs. HappyMe Jun 2013 #12

How many would you classify as bullies? ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #18

The first job was at a law firm. HappyMe Jun 2013 #33

Miserable people do miserable things. KurtNYC Jun 2013 #44

Worked there, done that. bettyellen Jun 2013 #47

alot of bullying by females is done with a smile and other subtextual communication. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #61

Oops CokeMachine Jun 2013 #66

it aint easy being me! fighting for equality is hard, dirty work... galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #67

Keep up the good work!! CokeMachine Jun 2013 #70

Yes, men have no capacity for deep psychological manipulation of the women in their lives. antigone382 Jun 2013 #101

The nonprofit for which I volunteered for many years brought me in as director for this reason. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #14

Interesting then, that the study referenced finds most bullies to be men. antigone382 Jun 2013 #112

the most sexism ive ever encountered in the workplace was essentially matricide galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #16

That's funny...the worst sexism I encountered was a male coworker telling me I didn't belong there. antigone382 Jun 2013 #139

I've seen both genders acting out that behavior Major Nikon Jun 2013 #214

KR. In my experience, women typically behave *way* worse to other women at work than men HiPointDem Jun 2013 #20

because women are easier to target! bettyellen Jun 2013 #22

that may be. fact remains, it's women doing most of the targeting. sexual harrassment was a HiPointDem Jun 2013 #26

No, the stats in the article say men are the bullies almost twice as frequently as women.... bettyellen Jun 2013 #29

the article doesn't say any such thing. these are the only statistics mentioned: HiPointDem Jun 2013 #37

Here are the stats from the original research report which bettyellen referenced... antigone382 Jun 2013 #102

just like you chose not to mention the finding that women are more likely to bully women than HiPointDem Jun 2013 #148

Actually in other of my posts on this thread, I have discussed that very issue. antigone382 Jun 2013 #159

they left out these stats? What a slanted piece of shit that article is! bettyellen Jun 2013 #40

The stats say women bully women more than men bully women. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #156

That is not true. antigone382 Jun 2013 #161

Thank you- the stats are fooling people into thinking it;s an epidemic among women- the opposite bettyellen Jun 2013 #165

Women do more bullying of women than men do. 80% of their bullying is of other women, and it's HiPointDem Jun 2013 #174

Yes, it's true, and it says so right on the page with the other stats. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #169

That 2-point difference between men and women is within the margin of error. antigone382 Jun 2013 #173

The 80% v. 45% likelihood of targeting women is not, however. Women are overwhelmingly HiPointDem Jun 2013 #175

I have not once disputed that, in fact I have discussed it at length. antigone382 Jun 2013 #177

you present a theory, which is basically that women are fearful of bullying men because of HiPointDem Jun 2013 #184

what;s hilarious is the stats say is half as likely a woman bullies at all, and everyone has fooled bettyellen Jun 2013 #178

actually what the stats say is that women bully 61% as often as men, but when they do, HiPointDem Jun 2013 #183

ritght- men bully much more frequently- and women are the most frequent targets who RARELY BULLY MEN bettyellen Jun 2013 #187

my posts are full of specific data, like '61%', which you chose to ignore in favor of vague HiPointDem Jun 2013 #190

men are MORE than 1 1/2 X more likely to bully a person. 61% vs 39 % - Take a math class already! bettyellen Jun 2013 #192

take a math class yourself. also a reading class. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #195

If you are using percentages to express liklihood- it would be men are 151% "as likely." You bettyellen Jun 2013 #198

you're confused. i said women are 61% as likely as men to bully. think about it. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #199

nope- they say it;s almost TWICE AS COMMON for a man to bully someone- and that women are bullied bettyellen Jun 2013 #167

That is so sad ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #36

The report mentioned in the article says the majority of bullying of females is done by other HiPointDem Jun 2013 #155

Again, that is not true. antigone382 Jun 2013 #162

It is just as easy for two women to gang up on one man.... midnight Jun 2013 #85

and yet that would be statistically 3-4X times less common, LOL. Cool story though! bettyellen Jun 2013 #88

In my experience, it depends on the venue. kiva Jun 2013 #23

Whoops I just read the article ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #24

so that stats say men are bullies almost twice as frequently as women are. And women bigger victims bettyellen Jun 2013 #27

it says that women are more likely to bully women than men are, too. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #28

No, - since women are much less often the bullies to begin with: 62% vs 38% women... bettyellen Jun 2013 #34

This message was self-deleted by its author HiPointDem Jun 2013 #42

men are doing the VAST majority (almost double) of ALL bullying that occurs. ;-) kind of relevant. bettyellen Jun 2013 #45

nope. i just didn't have time to double-check the calculations. i will double check tonight & HiPointDem Jun 2013 #128

Yes I found the wording interesting ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #32

And yet, the thread is mostly made up of the usual refrains... redqueen Jun 2013 #41

so typical. did the article come with a cat fight pic to sell this BS with? bettyellen Jun 2013 #43

Didn't need to, it practically sells itself! nt redqueen Jun 2013 #48

Women tend to hold grudges and vendettas longer, and take them more seriously than men davidn3600 Jun 2013 #25

Do you hear yourself? Squinch Jun 2013 #94

Have you seen what I've seen? davidn3600 Jun 2013 #96

Do you hear yourself? Squinch Jun 2013 #99

It's like hearing about the old cliche about 'women drivers' ismnotwasm Jun 2013 #107

Honestly, can you believe the comments in this thread? Squinch Jun 2013 #111

Everyone is simply expressing their experiences davidn3600 Jun 2013 #118

Yes. Their experiences with people with scary lady parts. Ahhhhhh! Be afraid!!!! Squinch Jun 2013 #125

And if those experiences related to a different group? antigone382 Jun 2013 #127

Can you just imagine how outraged many posting here would be if we substituted any racial or ethnic Squinch Jun 2013 #132

Yes...what's funny is that so few respond when you bring up the actual statistics. antigone382 Jun 2013 #143

Or even, as you did, just summarize what the article ACTUALLY said. Squinch Jun 2013 #144

Yeah, what's amazing is that the article focuses on female behavior in a *context* of male dominion. antigone382 Jun 2013 #145

"barely suppressed fear and hatred" redqueen Jun 2013 #207

I have to believe, though, that the escalation of Squinch Jun 2013 #220

Did you see this? redqueen Jun 2013 #224

That actually makes me a little misty eyed. Did you ever think you would see anything like that? Squinch Jun 2013 #225

Since getting on tumblr I find it less shocking than I once would have. redqueen Jun 2013 #226

OK. Now I, the dedicated Luddite, am going to have to check out tumblr. Squinch Jun 2013 #227

Are Men Better Drivers Than Women? snooper2 Jun 2013 #166

I get "no" out of that Major Nikon Jun 2013 #216

I've worked in offices with mostly women and I've worked jobs where I was the only woman in the Arkansas Granny Jun 2013 #31

now tell us how you feel about working with other groups? bettyellen Jun 2013 #59

What other groups are you referring to? Arkansas Granny Jun 2013 #74

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Jun 2013 #35

and yet half the thread is convinced by this POS article's headline, LOL. Thanks for the synopsis! bettyellen Jun 2013 #38

This message was self-deleted by its author devilgrrl Jun 2013 #46

Same here. And I've had men bosses that were awesome and others that were awful. nt raccoon Jun 2013 #68

I had a toxic female boss a couple of years ago. ananda Jun 2013 #49

i want to see the exact behaviors that people are determing is bullying in women La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #50

I want to know why comments like 'I prefer to work for/with men' redqueen Jun 2013 #51

Sexism is fine here at DU- notice the people slobbering over a slanted article like this one like bettyellen Jun 2013 #53

especially in protected spaces. gross. nt galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #57

You are one to talk BainsBane Jun 2013 #76

i think what you are referring to is this: galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #87

"I maintain that 95% of women under 35 will cheat with the right guy." redqueen Jun 2013 #95

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Jun 2013 #97

probably because it is equalist and not sexist. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #106

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Jun 2013 #109

sure i do! galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #110

equalist = BainsBane Jun 2013 #193

people blind to misogyny / patriarchy saying they're "equalist" = redqueen Jun 2013 #208

not quite the same BainsBane Jun 2013 #210

No no no, he thinks the *behavior* of 95% of women under 35 is disgusting. redqueen Jun 2013 #212

My bad BainsBane Jun 2013 #217

That's not what was said Major Nikon Jun 2013 #219

Oh yeah , big time BainsBane Jun 2013 #164

Careful calling out MRA crap. redqueen Jun 2013 #213

the context was clear galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #105

It's also a guy who is very afraid of women. Squinch Jun 2013 #137

I did. BainsBane Jun 2013 #163

Good, so everyone can see it BainsBane Jun 2013 #117

im a degreed behaivioral consultant who galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #119

You clearly have no research background BainsBane Jun 2013 #120

lol. i never said it was reasearch! i made it clear it was anecdotal. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #121

You said you were always right BainsBane Jun 2013 #124

"The very notion that you think women are more likely to cheat that men" galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #122

Why do I hate monogamy? BainsBane Jun 2013 #129

do it! i would but I cant :( galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #131

I did it BainsBane Jun 2013 #133

i thought I needed a star. galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #134

keep it kicked please BainsBane Jun 2013 #136

will you do me a legit favor and add my whole statement? galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #138

Unfortunately the text area is very limited BainsBane Jun 2013 #140

You spelled "behavioral" wrong. Squinch Jun 2013 #221

no spell check in the title. im lazy too! :) galileoreloaded Jun 2013 #223

I find it amusing that some are making great strides toward validating the OP Major Nikon Jun 2013 #218

I'd describe it more as someone who has a skewed view of reality BainsBane Jun 2013 #229

Pot/Kettle Major Nikon Jun 2013 #230

Is that so BainsBane Jun 2013 #231

Has nothing to do with your opinion on the subject Major Nikon Jun 2013 #234

He posited it as particular to women BainsBane Jun 2013 #235

I'm done here Major Nikon Jun 2013 #236

Really? Sad state of affairs BainsBane Jun 2013 #237

This message was self-deleted by its author Major Nikon Jun 2013 #238

Agreed that "95% of women" are "disgusting"? BainsBane Jun 2013 #239

I think it's healthy for men and women to talk about men and women sometimes. tridim Jun 2013 #116

me too- except so very few dived into the stats enough to understand what biased sexist tripe they bettyellen Jun 2013 #180

Geez, why are you being such a misandrist? antigone382 Jun 2013 #60

ha, I alerted on this thread- and one juror said similar (with out the sarcasm) bettyellen Jun 2013 #63

Don't you know that it is misandrist to challenge blatant misogyny??? antigone382 Jun 2013 #72

There are actually people who think that. redqueen Jun 2013 #211

because sexism is much more normalized than other biases are La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #79

I know when I was a manager, only the men were aggrieved by my behavior. They expected autonomy bettyellen Jun 2013 #56

this is pretty normal experience for women managers La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #81

yep, it seemed pretty normal at the time. it is incredible how much more productive and pleasant bettyellen Jun 2013 #86

i agree, a man doing the same might be described as strong, focused, tough etc JI7 Jun 2013 #62

yup, in the psych lit it is called the implied communality deficit La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #82

No, you don't Mopar151 Jun 2013 #201

Yes, i do. I want to know what exact behaviors are being considered manipulative La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #209

Telling tales about me to their boss instead of doing their job, as I had asked them to Mopar151 Jun 2013 #233

My best boss was a woman, and my worst (current) boss is a woman. GreenEyedLefty Jun 2013 #52

Why Blacks Are Bullies At Work Whisp Jun 2013 #54

thanks, you inspired me to alert on this as a TOS/ sexist piece of shit. bettyellen Jun 2013 #58

I've heard this stereotype before Enrique Jun 2013 #55

good/funny youtube example of this on local TV news team markiv Jun 2013 #64

OMG LittleBlue Jun 2013 #80

isnt that a hoot? nt markiv Jun 2013 #89

Ha! Prism Jun 2013 #92

I call bullshit on this. William769 Jun 2013 #65

Really? AngryOldDem Jun 2013 #203

i think women have more emotional depth than men do markiv Jun 2013 #69

Better title: Both men and women are human beings and capable of being good or being jerks stevenleser Jun 2013 #71

while i mostly agree with you, it is also partly that when women behave like male managers La Lioness Priyanka Jun 2013 #83

I agree 100%. nt stevenleser Jun 2013 #103

Great post! nt raccoon Jun 2013 #205

As a female supervisor, I've had a couple of my now ex employees complain about me Nikia Jun 2013 #240

Is it really a newsflash that women can be assholes, same as men? Sheldon Cooper Jun 2013 #73

Exactly. Idiotic article. nt stevenleser Jun 2013 #77

What a completely idiotic thread. With all the usual suspects saying completely idiotic things. Squinch Jun 2013 #75

This message was self-deleted by its author carolinayellowdog Jun 2013 #141

Thank you for posting this... midnight Jun 2013 #84

Yes, it has really drawn the misogynists out of the woodwork... antigone382 Jun 2013 #142

I had a harassing supervisor a year ago. Truly a horrific experience. Initech Jun 2013 #90

I've had male supervisors do the same. Squinch Jun 2013 #222

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2013 #108

Do you hear yourself? Squinch Jun 2013 #114

Message auto-removed Name removed Jun 2013 #115

Well, my best workplace was nearly ALL women, only one guy. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #113

My best was all women, and I was the Zorra Jun 2013 #146

Sounds like the perfect place to work for. Starry Messenger Jun 2013 #152

It was great, but it was a non-profit, with salaries and wages that were better than Zorra Jun 2013 #160

This article is ridiculous duuser5822 Jun 2013 #126

Men aren't actually any meaner than women. DirkGently Jun 2013 #147

yes, it's about power, in a lot of ways. an in-depth examination of that would be interesting. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #149

Yes. Staying way away from that. DirkGently Jun 2013 #151

Dunno that the broad inequalities run widely in favor of men these days either. IMO that holds HiPointDem Jun 2013 #153

My observation is that it's class within the workplace that counts. DirkGently Jun 2013 #158

i'm not sure i'm understanding you right, you're saying low-level female workers were bullying HiPointDem Jun 2013 #168

it depends on the family- like the Kennedy's who lobotomized their wild child daughter, Kit, I think bettyellen Jun 2013 #171

She didn't control her money. You missed the point. If you control money, it doesn't matter HiPointDem Jun 2013 #176

You missed the point- no woman in that (and most) families did. You;re rare exception, proves the bettyellen Jun 2013 #179

sorry, i can't parse what you said. if you mean most rich women didn't have control of the HiPointDem Jun 2013 #182

when they were only heir, but rarely otherwise. bettyellen Jun 2013 #185

baloney. you're blinded by your preconception, which is that the only way women inherit in a HiPointDem Jun 2013 #186

I don't think it's accurate to characterize this as a victimization contest. antigone382 Jun 2013 #170

I think it's accurate. I've worked in female-dominated workplaces most of my working life. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #181

it;s common is shittier low paying companies where everyone is stressed andt hey hire women because bettyellen Jun 2013 #188

actually, it's low-level men whose pay has gone down. low-level women's pay has gone up. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #189

management is more often all female? is this that Wonder Woman island or something? bettyellen Jun 2013 #191

in female dominated workplaces, yes. management is more likely to be female. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #194

you keep missing that men are more than 1 1/2 X more likely to be bullies at all. while women pick bettyellen Jun 2013 #196

Women bullying women is the most common scenario. HiPointDem Jun 2013 #197

No good can come of saying this, but... Recursion Jun 2013 #154

If we're going to decide by anecdote here, I've seen men ruin other men for their own professional Squinch Jun 2013 #157

because it's normal/ expected from men. but the work of satan when a woman does it. bettyellen Jun 2013 #172

I'm fortunate to work in a remarkably bullshit free environment BainsBane Jun 2013 #200

If it's hard to find people who do the work that you do, co-workers tend to be highly grateful-- eridani Jun 2013 #204

I work with one (supervisor) AngryOldDem Jun 2013 #202

I believe there are many people out there who think that treating others like shit raccoon Jun 2013 #206

When a man is a bully, it's because he's an asshole. geek tragedy Jun 2013 #215

When a thread talks shit about men-in-general, it's an important/necessary socio-cultural "critique" Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #241

When a thread talks shit about men and men complain, it's... Bonobo Jun 2013 #242

I see this as mostly generational, Sen. Walter Sobchak Jun 2013 #228

Some women have internalized so much sexism BainsBane Jun 2013 #232