Look, Kitten, I Am Too A Feminist! Fauxminism and Men

[boston bean]

It’s great when men identify as feminists. Really, it is. It’s great when anyone identifies as a feminist. What’s more important, however, is actually sticking to the tenets of that identity and philosophy. This is important for feminists from all walks of life, but it becomes particularly paramount when men claim the title of feminist. Many a woman-identified feminist is unwilling to speak out against men who self-ID with the movement for fear of alienating them from the cause all together – or worse – becoming the man-hating stereotype. However, it’s time to speak the unspeakable. I am totally ok with being labeled a man-hater if it means that feminism can better serve those it is meant for. So here goes: fauxminism in male, masculine-identified allies is a problem, and it needs addressing.

There, I said it.

So how do you tell if a man you are conversing with (or perhaps know, love, and/or are friends with) is, in fact, a fauxminist?

He interrupts women that he speaks with.

Some people don’t understand the politics of simple conversation. However, it’s important to note that talking over people or interrupting them is considered rude for a reason. It’s exerting power over them. It is a way of conveying that what one person has to say is more important – more worthy of consideration and therefore more imperative to be stated sooner – than what another has to speak about.

These politics have historically played across gender lines, and they continue to have attachments to gender to this day. Many studies have been conducted on gender and communication, and in each one men interrupted women more than they interrupted men. Due to their general societal privilege, what men say is generally considered more important than what a woman has to say. This can also be seen in cases in which a man giving a lecture receives applause for saying something that a woman or women in general have said for quite a bit of time.

Legitimate male feminists make a concerted effort not to interrupt the women they’re speaking with. They understand the politics of conversation and they work to limit their male privilege within the confines of spoken communication. It places real value on the words, thoughts, and ideas put forth by women and can be a great learning experience for these men.

He expects to be given leadership roles far before he’s ready for them.

In some cases, this can manifest itself as simply taking on the position of director of a particular project or group. In others, men in feminist groups just tend to become leaders – many before they’re ready. It’s a feminist activist group glass escalator, and on some level it makes sense. It makes sense to fight back against stereotypes by having men at the forefront of feminist groups. It’s a great PR strategy. That is, until it completely backfires.

By placing men in leadership positions just to give off the impression that men are active and involved in feminist politics and organizing, some groups are also giving off the impression that feminism is only relevant if men are in charge of it. This is the antithesis of what feminism should be about, and it only seeks to serve a patriarchal definition of importance in the first place. You can’t smash the patriarchy by adhering to its demands for the privileged to always be calling the shots.

Men need to realize that as a person with privilege, odds are they have a lot to learn about unpacking that privilege before they can lead the march to liberation. Those who demand to be put at the forefront from the get-go are simply attention seekers, and they make it obvious that they have not done the work necessary to be a leader in the fight for equality.

Each one of the below is further expounded upon by the author. You can read at the link.

He interrupts women that he speaks with.

He mansplains.

He insists that feminism must make equal time for men and men’s issues.

He continues to partake in media or activities that objectify/degrade women.

He calls women he doesn’t agree with “bitches”, “whores” or other gender-based slurs.

He feels entitled to the trust of the women he works with in feminist activism circles.

He will not hold other self-proclaimed male-identified feminists accountable.

He uses the tone argument on you.

He is pissed off by this article.

http://www.lawsonry.com/891-look-kitten-i-am-too-a-feminist-fauxminism-and-men/

With the attack on feminists and womens rights lately, ie women not being allowed to speak about reproductive rights at a congressional hearing..... men doing all the talking. I think article gives an interesting perspective.