I had a personally staggering, explosive weekend - in a good way. Wanted to share. Adoptees note.

[calimary]

4. It's just turning my head inside out and upside down. In a good way, of course.

All we did all weekend was talk, cry, hug, eat, talk some more, and get choked up. I'm just SO not used to this. Not used to thinking in these terms. I've lived for, well, 58 years - which is how old I was when I got the results of my search - being wired a different way, and having grown up in a completely different reality. When the adoption specialist linked us up a couple of years back, my two sisters were completely open to it. But they cautioned that their (our) three younger brothers were skeptical and hesitant and even a little troubled by this. Well, why not? This was a secret our mother (and I have to keep practicing saying it that way - OUR mother, MINE, TOO!) took to her grave.

And it really got us all thinking more deeply about the whole idea of The Taboo. And just how ridiculously powerful that can be. Back in our mother's day, this was something you Just. Did. NOT. Talk. About. Not in polite company, heck - not in ANY company. You denied it, didn't share it, didn't speak of it, kept it in the closet - where it was presumed to belong. Similarly, personal predicaments like this weren't ever something you'd seek help for. Heaven forbid you'd seek counseling or go talk to someone professionally like a therapist or psychologist or something. I mean - what would the neighbors think? We got this really strong sense of sympathy toward this older generation and how they felt so strongly that they had to keep all this a secret, hold it in, lock it away, keep it hush-hush.